How can I lose weight (actual number on the scale) in two weeks?

March 2, 2015 1:37 PM

I (32/F) have an appointment in two weeks that will involve being weighed and I want the number as low as possible. I'm already watching what I eat and exercising by taking long walks. Is there anything else I can do? Open to all suggestions that aren't unhealthy.

I don't need to do anything physical at this appointment so I'm not worried about strength or stamina. I just want the number low (reasons are a derail). What can I do to make this happen? Even silly suggestions are okay if they will help. They don't have to be for long term weight loss. I am very overweight and working on that separately. What will actually make that number go down in two weeks? Should I get a haircut and donate blood? Anything that will help even short term that isn't bad for me is ok.

posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (28 answers total)

If you'll be wearing street clothes (instead of a hospital gown) you should dress as light as possible. Thick jeans and sweaters really weigh you down.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 1:39 PM on March 2, 2015 [3 favorites]

Do not eat anything remote salty for 48 hours before the weigh-in, and drink a reasonable about of water.
posted by Melismata at 1:40 PM on March 2, 2015 [13 favorites]

Cutting carbs for the next two weeks will get rid of some water weight.
posted by cotton dress sock at 1:40 PM on March 2, 2015 [24 favorites]

Don't eat the day before the weigh-in. Minimize the amount you eat in the days before that.

Take a laxative the day before the weigh-in.

Wear light clothing.

There isn't really much to this - weight is determined by what goes into your body and what goes out. So, minimize what goes into your body and maximize what goes out of your body. It is quite difficult, to the point of impossible, to injure yourself by anything you do/don't eat over the course of two weeks, and especially not one day. You can't starve yourself in a day.
posted by saeculorum at 1:41 PM on March 2, 2015

Extremely low carb intake, paired with lots of water. (No grains, no sugar, etc.) Depending on how much water weight your body holds onto, you'll likely drop 5 to 15 pounds in 2 weeks. I weigh around 130 and can easily drop 6-7 pounds worth of water weight if I eat very strictly keto/Atkins-style.
posted by rachaelfaith at 1:42 PM on March 2, 2015 [11 favorites]

I can drop ten to fifteen pounds in two weeks (I'm of normal BMI) with a protein sparing modified fast, often abbreviated as PSMF. I would recommend that, although no matter what you do, in two weeks you can only go from very overweight to slightly-less very overweight. Lyle McDonald has some good articles online about this, and you can readily find "how-to" information online for PSMFs.
posted by Tanizaki at 1:44 PM on March 2, 2015 [8 favorites]

Wear very light clothing and flip flops you can kick off before you get on the scale.
posted by Sassyfras at 1:56 PM on March 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

If you are prone to retaining water, add hot peppers to your diet. The capsaicin will help your body dump excess fluids. You can force up the effectiveness by also eating watermelon and going for a long walk after eating the hot peppers.
posted by Michele in California at 1:57 PM on March 2, 2015

Exercise your butt off. Depending on your weight and how fast you go, a brisk walk can burn around 500 calories an hour. Assuming you're not compensating by eating more, walking briskly (that is, enough to get your heart rate up, and break a light sweat) for two hours a day could lose you a pound every 3 days, and maybe more, because exercise helps you better metabolize what you eat.
posted by ubiquity at 1:58 PM on March 2, 2015

The food that's running through your system can weigh a fair amount. I would say to fast for as long as you can beforehand. Just a couple of days would help.

I wouldn't bother with the hair personally; donating a pint of blood will drop you a pound, depending on how important that is to you. If you donate while you're fasting I'd say probably don't drive or operate heavy machinery.
posted by ftm at 1:58 PM on March 2, 2015

The first two weeks on a strict ketogenic diet will keep you from feeling like you're starving and the loss of both water weight and some fat will show up on the scale. You'll have to limit carbs to 20g/day, but you do get to eat muscle-sparing protein and lots of fat. The Reddit ketogenic diet board is very helpful if you need more info (read the FAQ first). It's also a great long-term approach and won't damage your health.

I'd do a diet approach and not an exercise approach if you're looking for weight loss only. Exercised muscle holds onto more water as it repairs and recovers and that can be counterproductive if you're looking for maximum weight drop.
posted by quince at 2:01 PM on March 2, 2015 [8 favorites]

Google Whole30.
posted by Fairchild at 2:03 PM on March 2, 2015

The most significant healthy weight loss I've seen over a short period of time (in myself and others) has been from cutting carbs. If you need a little more structure than just "Basically, avoid sugar and all carbs except for low-carb vegetables and don't be afraid to eat fat," check out the Atkins diet induction period or /r/keto on reddit. (If you do this, don't also follow the advice to avoid salt--you may in fact need to up your salt/sodium intake on induction).
posted by rhiannonstone at 2:04 PM on March 2, 2015 [2 favorites]

I've been on the 17-day diet, which is basically low/no carb, for two weeks and have lost 10 lbs. It's pretty painless because if you're hungry you can just grab some lean protein.
posted by Huck500 at 2:09 PM on March 2, 2015

I've done the Whole 30 mentioned above, and lost 10 pounds in a month but it very well may have been 10 pounds in two weeks because (a) they don't let you weigh yourself for thirty days and (b) when I started a similar (no grains) diet, I dropped 10 pounds in water weight in two weeks. Seriously, if I need a fast way to drop pounds and ounces, I would cut out all grains. All grains. You shed water like crazy. Then the first time you eat grains again, your body sucks it right back up.
posted by janey47 at 2:09 PM on March 2, 2015 [2 favorites]

Well, how much pain and suffering are you willing to endure to cut water weight?

Fairly Painless: gradually reduce water consumption before your weigh-in. Carb-cutting's also fairly easy to do, and not harmful.

Kinda Painless: sensible use of OTC diuretics. Stupid/overeager use of diuretics will land you in the hospital, so don't think you'll be fine taking more than the instructions recommend: you will not.

Unfun: drink magnesium citrate, like Natural Calm. Stay near a toilet for six hours after you drink this stuff. Any other laxative/purgative will also work, but are much more… unpleasant.

Not Fun At All: very hot baths with epsom salts; sauna time; sauna suits + exercise. If you choose this route, have someone with you at all times in case you pass out. I'm seriously not kidding about that. Get ready for leg and foot cramping from dehydration.

I've used all the above methods to cut weight for various sports, to varying degrees of severity. Don't panic and try to do all the above in one 24-hour period. This is the voice of experience talking.
posted by culfinglin at 2:16 PM on March 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

Have a small/light breakfast, make lunch your largest meal of the day, have a light dinner, no eating after 7pm, no snacking. Focus on protein, whole grains and veggies and cut pasta and most bread out.

CCF tea (1/4 tsp each of whole cumin, coriander, and fennel seeds, steeped in freshly boiled water) has some diuretic properties and will definitely not hurt you, if you have water weight it will help you shed it and it's very gentle. Make a batch every morning and drink it through the day.

I lost ten pounds that I had given up on losing following the above advice and I never feel deprived or extremely hungry because I eat nutritious foods and at the same time each day.
posted by lafemma at 2:25 PM on March 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

Look into the methods wrestlers use to make weight before a match - not eating for the day, laxatives, dehydration through caffeine, saunas, etc. Not healthy, obviously. If you know someone in person who competes in a weight-based sport (wrestling, jockey, boxing, etc) then they might be able to help you.
posted by the agents of KAOS at 2:34 PM on March 2, 2015

Mod note: Gentle nudge, folks: maybe try and keep a focus on the question's specific "Open to all suggestions that aren't unhealthy" qualifier, not so much with the This Isn't Healthy But suggestions.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:38 PM on March 2, 2015 [2 favorites]

Up your water intake and skip carbs, grains and fruit but please be careful. I don't think I consider laxative use to be in the "harmless" category.
posted by Pardon Our Dust at 2:42 PM on March 2, 2015 [2 favorites]

I recently had some dental work done, and I had to switch my diet to things that were easily chewed. So I switched my breakfast to oatmeal, the instant kind that comes in a big cardboard container. I nuke 1/2 cup of oatmeal with 1 1/4 cups of water for 2 minutes. Then I stir in an egg while it's still hot, until the egg is cooked. After that, maybe a TBS of peanut butter, or some breakfast sausage (also nuked and chopped up). A smidge of parm cheese.

Lunch is maybe some sort of smoothie with Greek yogurt, banana, flax seed and apple juice to make it easy to drink. Snack is soft cheese or cottage cheese. Applesauce is also an option with the cheeses.

Dinner is something like meat loaf made with ground turkey, some rice or pasta with sauce.

The one thing missing here is bread. I can't chew bread right now. I can eat soft cheeses, but not crackers. So, I am not cutting out carbs by any means (pasta and rice are still on the menu), but things like crackers and bread. So far I have lost 7 lbs. And believe me, I eat when I am hungry, even soft desserts like a chocolate pudding.

So maybe pretend you can't chew bread or crackers? I think the biggest thing is changing up my breakfast, which was more high fat and carb before, and while I guess I could eat more crackers and bread soaked in milk or something, I'm more inclined to go for the easy yogurt or cottage cheese, even carrots cooked in water with cream added at the end. Not intentional, but hey! It works!
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 4:00 PM on March 2, 2015

I learned the following magic words just a month or two ago. It felt so good to say them, and they honored the request twice sofar with minimal to-do:

"I don't want to be weighed today".
posted by Dashy at 4:57 PM on March 2, 2015 [8 favorites]

This was a healthy but quick-results weight loss plan that worked for me. Keep in mind that before I did this, I had been eating a relatively poor diet. Much of its effectiveness was built around going from sugar/salt/fat ---> raw veggies and fruits without any kind of gradual transition.

When I was in college, I lost 20 lbs in 2 weeks (summertime; on vacation at the beach no less) by switching to an ALMOST ALL raw whole foods diet. Yes, most of that was water weight, but I kept it up for a few months and ended losing 40 total pounds of fat.

Anyway, the only exception I made from raw whole foods was low-sugar granola and yogurt for breakfast, and (very lean) grilled shrimp or fish as dinner. Protein and fats are still important. In essence, 75-85% raw whole vegetables and fruits; 15-25% lean proteins/dairy.

What I ate:

- For breakfast, I'd eat 1 cup of a high fiber, low sugar granola mixed with a 1/4 cup of a low-sugar vanilla yogurt. It tasted like ice cream and the crunchiness helped me eat slower, and to feel more satisfied.

- I would snack on medjool dates. A very athletic woman once advised me to avoid these like the plague because of their high glycemic impact, but whatever. Considering I ate a pretty carefree diet up to this point, medjool dates were still a huge improvement. And they helped to prevent me from breaking down and eating chocolate. Medjool dates are nature's candy.

- I would also snack/have for lunch: raw spinach and carrots, sugar snap peas, strawberries, blueberries, celery, etc.

- I drank 2-4 liters of water a day (very important that you spread this over the day - we're not trying to hurt your kidneys). This is not for everyone, but I had been eating a lot of sodium up to that point.

- Again, dinner was shrimp, fish, scallops or other seafood that had not been friend and not been cooked in butter. This was easy and less expensive for me because I was at the beach.

- Occasionally, I would indulge in a small piece of chocolate. You have to, to not go crazy.

I also didn't exercise that much beyond a few long walks. The bulk of the weight loss came from drinking 2 liters of water at minimum, not to mention the high water content (and low caloric content) of all the fruits/veggies.

Also: eat when you want, as much as you want, when it comes to the veggies (and some of the fruits). I also don't recommend juicing, because you get all of the fruit sugar but none of the fiber.

Anyway, the fact that you can eat practically as much as you want of the allowable foods (whole veg/fruits) is why I suggest this as a relatively healthy 'crash' diet - you're still eating a lot, but it's pure raw veggies and fruits; and you will still have a lot of energy because of all the nutrition you're taking in.

Obviously I am not a doctor, and I have no idea if this is right for you, and YMMV.
posted by nightrecordings at 5:02 PM on March 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

How long is your hair? Mine was waist-length, fairly thick. Got a crew-cut and lost 3 pounds.
posted by Jesse the K at 6:11 PM on March 2, 2015

Just a note...do NOT both fast and donate blood. You will pass out. Or vomit. Or worse.
posted by radioamy at 7:57 PM on March 2, 2015 [2 favorites]

I'm really surprised no one has mentioned just eating less food. I've lost a ton of weight over the years with diet (including keto/Atkins/very low carb) and exercise--and I've kept it off.

But you can drop weight like whoa in a short amount of time if you just... cut your portion sizes in half between now and your weigh in. Also, no alcohol or any grains, nothing white. All that will make you retain water weight.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 12:20 AM on March 3, 2015 [2 favorites]

No carbs, no salt.
posted by Jacqueline at 6:29 AM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

Nthng the 'no salt the day before' suggestion: I once inadvertently cut my salt by half and dropped 5 pounds overnight. (I was very tired, though, because I'd been up and down all night going to the bathroom! Worried me until I realized why.) The water weight came back over the next day or two when I went back to my normal level of salt consumption.
posted by telophase at 9:31 AM on March 3, 2015