give a friend the secrets to my business
September 4, 2010 10:31 AM Subscribe
Should I help my friend get work in my specialized industry?
I work in a very specialized field within the entertainment industry. I'm a freelancer. For the most part I work alone accept for the clients I deal with and the representatives that I pay to help me to get more opportunities. I've worked extremely hard to get where I've gotten. The only people who helped me were those that I payed to do so. And for the most part, I've gotten where I am today through my own research, and my own relentless drive and ability to never give up. A good friend of mine would like some help breaking into my industry. I've given him some basic tips. Because of my expertise and inside information in the business, he has excelled much faster then other newcomers would normally do in such a short period of time. The problem is I feel like I'm creating more competition for myself by helping him. My business is competitive enough as it is. I don't like the idea of knowing that my friend could potentially take work from me and even worse cause me to lose money. I like helping people, but not at the expense of my own career. At the same time...we are pretty good friends. Friends help each other. I guess in some ways I feel like maybe I'm being selfish. But on the other hand in today's tough economy you have to be somewhat cut throat. How should I handle the situation? Should I just help him and not worry about what happens to my own work? Or should I just tell him he needs to find his own way in the business as I've taken him as far as I can. Any thoughts here are greatly appreciated.
I work in a very specialized field within the entertainment industry. I'm a freelancer. For the most part I work alone accept for the clients I deal with and the representatives that I pay to help me to get more opportunities. I've worked extremely hard to get where I've gotten. The only people who helped me were those that I payed to do so. And for the most part, I've gotten where I am today through my own research, and my own relentless drive and ability to never give up. A good friend of mine would like some help breaking into my industry. I've given him some basic tips. Because of my expertise and inside information in the business, he has excelled much faster then other newcomers would normally do in such a short period of time. The problem is I feel like I'm creating more competition for myself by helping him. My business is competitive enough as it is. I don't like the idea of knowing that my friend could potentially take work from me and even worse cause me to lose money. I like helping people, but not at the expense of my own career. At the same time...we are pretty good friends. Friends help each other. I guess in some ways I feel like maybe I'm being selfish. But on the other hand in today's tough economy you have to be somewhat cut throat. How should I handle the situation? Should I just help him and not worry about what happens to my own work? Or should I just tell him he needs to find his own way in the business as I've taken him as far as I can. Any thoughts here are greatly appreciated.
I like lakerk's idea(s). Do you think your friend has a natural talent for the job? If not, how likely is he to be a danger to your own aspirations, with or without your help? If he does, though, I would definitely consider taking him into your business, as a (sub)contractor, employee, or partner.
posted by AkzidenzGrotesk at 11:06 AM on September 4, 2010
posted by AkzidenzGrotesk at 11:06 AM on September 4, 2010
Response by poster: There is no way to partner up. One person does a particular job and that's it. It's solo work only. That's why the competition is so fierce. If you could have multiple people working on a particular job I'd say there's no problem here and we'd team up for sure. But that's not the case.
posted by ljs30 at 11:10 AM on September 4, 2010
posted by ljs30 at 11:10 AM on September 4, 2010
Even if the nature of your work is such that each project, or each client's work, is performed by exactly one person, there's nothing stopping you from forming a partnership, which is just a business structure. "Welcome to Ljs30 Murgatroyd [mystery business] Services Ltd. Our list of clients includes: [your clients + Mr. Murgatroyd's clients]."
posted by AkzidenzGrotesk at 11:20 AM on September 4, 2010
posted by AkzidenzGrotesk at 11:20 AM on September 4, 2010
Could you tell your friend exactly this? Basically, that you've helped them as much as you can and you're very sorry, but it would be detrimental for your career to provide any more general aid. Maybe you can still chat from time to time when stuck, but you can't give away your clients. That's a reasonable concern.
posted by maryr at 11:27 AM on September 4, 2010
posted by maryr at 11:27 AM on September 4, 2010
Without knowing the industry or some other details, hard to say. I am a huge believer in just randomly helping people in the career I am in, including playing matchmaker for opportunities a great deal.
In a cut throat, limited business space, however, i would be extremely careful about adding another mouth to feed. Simply put, if the help is hooking the person up with your clients, that directly impacts you and there is no way around it. I wouldn't, especially a beginner who might simply underprice as a matter of course.
posted by rr at 2:17 PM on September 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
In a cut throat, limited business space, however, i would be extremely careful about adding another mouth to feed. Simply put, if the help is hooking the person up with your clients, that directly impacts you and there is no way around it. I wouldn't, especially a beginner who might simply underprice as a matter of course.
posted by rr at 2:17 PM on September 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
I too am a freelancer in show biz with a specialized skill. There aren't many people who do what I do on either coast. Within our little community, I'm pretty generous with time, information, resources, etc., which is standard behavior for everyone else in the community as well.
But I've resisted requests to mentor people, train people, teach people. It's not rocket science, and frankly, anyone can learn to do it or develop the skills.
I think you've been generous enough with your friend--let him make his own network. If you offered work you don't want, you can refer him. If you've got a professional group, encourage him to join it. I wouldn't form even an informal partnership--you're the one with the longstanding reputation--even if he's doing really well, I don't see how it benefits you to team up with him.
I'd keep things cordial and friendly, but I wouldn't keep answering his every question. (Or if you do, use "let me google that for you".) Is he still asking you for tips and advice, or are you just worrying in case he does? If he's not, then don't offer.
And unless your rate is set by a union, I'd think about raising your day rate. I did, and I got more business and better clients.
posted by Ideefixe at 4:51 PM on September 4, 2010
But I've resisted requests to mentor people, train people, teach people. It's not rocket science, and frankly, anyone can learn to do it or develop the skills.
I think you've been generous enough with your friend--let him make his own network. If you offered work you don't want, you can refer him. If you've got a professional group, encourage him to join it. I wouldn't form even an informal partnership--you're the one with the longstanding reputation--even if he's doing really well, I don't see how it benefits you to team up with him.
I'd keep things cordial and friendly, but I wouldn't keep answering his every question. (Or if you do, use "let me google that for you".) Is he still asking you for tips and advice, or are you just worrying in case he does? If he's not, then don't offer.
And unless your rate is set by a union, I'd think about raising your day rate. I did, and I got more business and better clients.
posted by Ideefixe at 4:51 PM on September 4, 2010
Best answer: Entertainment industry vet here, too.
Sounds like it's a little too late to worry about creating more competition. Friend is interested and on the path already with the generous inside info you've provided to start him off.
Good on you for giving him the kickstart. That's a little good karma in your favor. No need to waste time and energy worrying.
Moving forward, it's hard to answer specifically without more detail about your exact trade or more detail about what kind of help he's specifically looking for.
I would gracefully demur from giving him too much additional assistance from here, at least for the time being, and you shouldn't feel bad about it.
Business is business (so don't let the friendship part cloud your decision), you're not going to do anything to impede his ability to make his way in the world, but you also shouldn't give him the opportunity to take food off your plate either.
I've been generous with my time, advice, mentorship, and opportunities in this field for about 10 years now. As my freelance career turned into a small agency/company, I've been generous with subcontracting opportunities for other freelancers, former associates, and the like. Always done business above board, paid on time, and so on.
Sadly, almost none of these good deeds have come back around for me in a way that has led to actual work that pays actual dollars.
The times that I've trained-up an intern who wound up replacing me in a freelance position far outnumber the times someone has offered me a fairly-paid opportunity I would want to take.
I really enjoyed my time as Mr. Nice Guy, but it's no fun feeling like a chump. Based on events in the last year or so, my new way forward is Mr. Firm but Fair.
I wouldn't advise a big confrontation with your friend, there's no need.
Don't promise to do anything you won't actually do.
For anything that is "trade-secret"-ey, you can always go with, "Sorry I can't help right now, really busy with ___ project." Or, "Wow, so burnt out with work stuff, I'm fried, can we please talk about any other subject."
If he's looking for an in somewhere, try "I don't think so and so would want me giving out her contact info like that, she's hard to reach on purpose." Or, "I'd love to, but giving out her contact info could jeopardize my relationship with her. I'm sorry, I hope you understand."
It's tricky territory to navigate, but it's do-able. Do no harm, but let him prove himself a little in the field before extending more helping hands. Maybe he'll surprise you one day with an opportunity you missed but he's under-qualified for, something that he can't take because of schedule conflict, or some other way of evening the balance there (but don't hold your breath).
In the meantime, save the favors for someone who's already done some for you, and is wondering when you're going to hook him up in return.
If there's any industry related things you don't want on a public forum, MeMail me anytime to talk business.
posted by BillBishop at 10:00 PM on September 4, 2010 [2 favorites]
Sounds like it's a little too late to worry about creating more competition. Friend is interested and on the path already with the generous inside info you've provided to start him off.
Good on you for giving him the kickstart. That's a little good karma in your favor. No need to waste time and energy worrying.
Moving forward, it's hard to answer specifically without more detail about your exact trade or more detail about what kind of help he's specifically looking for.
I would gracefully demur from giving him too much additional assistance from here, at least for the time being, and you shouldn't feel bad about it.
Business is business (so don't let the friendship part cloud your decision), you're not going to do anything to impede his ability to make his way in the world, but you also shouldn't give him the opportunity to take food off your plate either.
I've been generous with my time, advice, mentorship, and opportunities in this field for about 10 years now. As my freelance career turned into a small agency/company, I've been generous with subcontracting opportunities for other freelancers, former associates, and the like. Always done business above board, paid on time, and so on.
Sadly, almost none of these good deeds have come back around for me in a way that has led to actual work that pays actual dollars.
The times that I've trained-up an intern who wound up replacing me in a freelance position far outnumber the times someone has offered me a fairly-paid opportunity I would want to take.
I really enjoyed my time as Mr. Nice Guy, but it's no fun feeling like a chump. Based on events in the last year or so, my new way forward is Mr. Firm but Fair.
I wouldn't advise a big confrontation with your friend, there's no need.
Don't promise to do anything you won't actually do.
For anything that is "trade-secret"-ey, you can always go with, "Sorry I can't help right now, really busy with ___ project." Or, "Wow, so burnt out with work stuff, I'm fried, can we please talk about any other subject."
If he's looking for an in somewhere, try "I don't think so and so would want me giving out her contact info like that, she's hard to reach on purpose." Or, "I'd love to, but giving out her contact info could jeopardize my relationship with her. I'm sorry, I hope you understand."
It's tricky territory to navigate, but it's do-able. Do no harm, but let him prove himself a little in the field before extending more helping hands. Maybe he'll surprise you one day with an opportunity you missed but he's under-qualified for, something that he can't take because of schedule conflict, or some other way of evening the balance there (but don't hold your breath).
In the meantime, save the favors for someone who's already done some for you, and is wondering when you're going to hook him up in return.
If there's any industry related things you don't want on a public forum, MeMail me anytime to talk business.
posted by BillBishop at 10:00 PM on September 4, 2010 [2 favorites]
« Older What are ActiveX Controls capable of doing? | If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Barcelona Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
It sounds like you have created a beast whether or not you teach him anymore. If he has the drive he will get more and more business, and probably to your detriment.
I would sit down and have a talk with him, and show him your concerns. If he is a true friend, he will bow out and look for his own niche.
posted by lakerk at 10:43 AM on September 4, 2010