Token grad gift for household employee?
April 22, 2024 1:36 PM Subscribe
Our (very part time) family assistant is graduating from college next month. While she's worked for us for ~1.5 years, we didn't know her very well on a personal level. Normally cash would be the natural solution, but that feels weird when we already pay her directly. Other ideas?
- she's in her early 20s
- her classes have been mostly online and she mostly lives several hours from campus, so she's not necessarily particularly attached to the school or campus
- she plans to get her teaching credential (so more school), but may take some time off
- I don't really know anything about her tastes or interests. Despite this, we really do like her and would like to get her something. Maybe sometime that would be useful for her future career as a teacher?
- she's in her early 20s
- her classes have been mostly online and she mostly lives several hours from campus, so she's not necessarily particularly attached to the school or campus
- she plans to get her teaching credential (so more school), but may take some time off
- I don't really know anything about her tastes or interests. Despite this, we really do like her and would like to get her something. Maybe sometime that would be useful for her future career as a teacher?
Money is still the way to go. Think of it like a bonus, you know? It is really the only one size fits all option.
Also, write a glowing letter of recommendation for her to use, and a promise that she can put you down as a reference for job and school applications.
posted by Mizu at 1:46 PM on April 22 [20 favorites]
Also, write a glowing letter of recommendation for her to use, and a promise that she can put you down as a reference for job and school applications.
posted by Mizu at 1:46 PM on April 22 [20 favorites]
If you don't know her well enough to know her interests or tastes, then cash is ABSOLUTELY acceptable and a very welcome gift for graduates.
Cash gifts at my graduation (over half a lifetime ago at this point) were extremely useful and allowed me breathing room to help relocate when I landed a good job. Gifts of tchotchkes from my alma mater were unnecessary and not useful - I never felt that sort of personal identification with my school.
I was gifted a nice piece of jewelry from a family member but it was not my taste and I have only worn it once, but I feel obligated to keep it.
A very nice frame for my diploma seemed like a nice gift, but I am not the type of person to hang my diploma on a wall, and now 20something years later, I'm not even sure where my framed diploma is. Is it in a box in my attic? A box in my parents' basement 2000+ miles away?
A generous gift certificate to a VERY nice restaurant was very much appreciated and used almost immediately for a memorable experience (but the person who gave that knew I was a foodie who would love the chance to eat at that restaurant).
Basically, if you don't know her very well, just give cash, Amazon gift cards, a Visa/Mastercard gift card or something she can choose to use in her best interest.
posted by erst at 1:49 PM on April 22 [4 favorites]
Cash gifts at my graduation (over half a lifetime ago at this point) were extremely useful and allowed me breathing room to help relocate when I landed a good job. Gifts of tchotchkes from my alma mater were unnecessary and not useful - I never felt that sort of personal identification with my school.
I was gifted a nice piece of jewelry from a family member but it was not my taste and I have only worn it once, but I feel obligated to keep it.
A very nice frame for my diploma seemed like a nice gift, but I am not the type of person to hang my diploma on a wall, and now 20something years later, I'm not even sure where my framed diploma is. Is it in a box in my attic? A box in my parents' basement 2000+ miles away?
A generous gift certificate to a VERY nice restaurant was very much appreciated and used almost immediately for a memorable experience (but the person who gave that knew I was a foodie who would love the chance to eat at that restaurant).
Basically, if you don't know her very well, just give cash, Amazon gift cards, a Visa/Mastercard gift card or something she can choose to use in her best interest.
posted by erst at 1:49 PM on April 22 [4 favorites]
Many of the responses to this earlier question apply. The consensus there was cash too.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 1:50 PM on April 22
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 1:50 PM on April 22
nthing cash.
If that feels impersonal- add a card where you express your gratitude etc.
The card can express the "we really like you" part better than struggling to buy her some sort of thing she doesn't really need.
posted by ManInSuit at 2:32 PM on April 22 [4 favorites]
If that feels impersonal- add a card where you express your gratitude etc.
The card can express the "we really like you" part better than struggling to buy her some sort of thing she doesn't really need.
posted by ManInSuit at 2:32 PM on April 22 [4 favorites]
As a broke college student I remember being thrilled to receive a cash bonus from my employer—a family friend who I worked for. Looking back, I think she could have easily come up with a more personal gift, but I certainly never questioned her choice and was happy to receive the extra cash.
posted by frau_grubach at 2:35 PM on April 22 [2 favorites]
posted by frau_grubach at 2:35 PM on April 22 [2 favorites]
The family I was doing the most babysitting for at the end of my high school years gave me money and a (very) gently used (nice) microwave. The dad said something like "I would have died in college without a microwave," and pointed to the check the mom was handing me and added "that should help buy a few cup noodles."
The money got spent, fast, and I appreciated it of course. I had the microwave for over a decade.
posted by phunniemee at 3:03 PM on April 22 [4 favorites]
The money got spent, fast, and I appreciated it of course. I had the microwave for over a decade.
posted by phunniemee at 3:03 PM on April 22 [4 favorites]
A family I nannied one summer for gave me a cash bonus and I still think about it fondly to this day.
posted by CMcG at 5:24 PM on April 22 [3 favorites]
posted by CMcG at 5:24 PM on April 22 [3 favorites]
Giving money feels weird to people who have money; people who don't have much money aren't going to be offended by receiving money from an employer. (Romanic partners? Yikes. Friends? Maybe. But employers? Totally not weird.) Yes, think of it like a bonus.
But please don't ONLY give her money. Please include a card telling her, with specifics, how your family has benefited from having her in your lives. Let her know that you are happy to be a reference for her. You can always add a small gift that will remind her of your family -- maybe one of those novelty mugs with your little ones on it (if you have little ones), or a funny saying. Or a little Amazon or grocery store gift card. (Someone thanked me last year with a Trader Joe's gift card after she learned we were just getting one in my town, and it's one of the more memorable gifts I've received in years.)
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 5:27 PM on April 22 [3 favorites]
But please don't ONLY give her money. Please include a card telling her, with specifics, how your family has benefited from having her in your lives. Let her know that you are happy to be a reference for her. You can always add a small gift that will remind her of your family -- maybe one of those novelty mugs with your little ones on it (if you have little ones), or a funny saying. Or a little Amazon or grocery store gift card. (Someone thanked me last year with a Trader Joe's gift card after she learned we were just getting one in my town, and it's one of the more memorable gifts I've received in years.)
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 5:27 PM on April 22 [3 favorites]
N thing $$$. Provide the money in a different format than you typically pay this person. (E.g if you usually pay her by check or Venmo … give her new crisp bills).
posted by oceano at 12:31 PM on April 23
posted by oceano at 12:31 PM on April 23
Give cash with another little gift--a card, a candle, a book,a scarf, a pen,
a notebook, a paperback of poems or something else.
posted by rhonzo at 1:01 PM on April 23
a notebook, a paperback of poems or something else.
posted by rhonzo at 1:01 PM on April 23
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posted by praemunire at 1:44 PM on April 22 [24 favorites]