You have 90 days
April 20, 2024 11:44 AM Subscribe
I will be laid off from my job in 90 days. This job has been utterly exhausting and demoralizing and I am thrilled that the end is near. I would like to use the next 90 days to start the burnout healing process and maximize getting all my affairs in order before hitting the job market again. What tips do y'all have?
My fully remote job is ending due to the end of a research grant so I really have very little work for the next 90 days and do not have to prepare or train a replacement. All of the grant deliverables have already been met so I am just working on closing everything out. I have insurance through my spouse, so no big concerns about that. I'm also just so incredibly tired because of the workload, chaos, and general mean-spiritedness at my job. The idea of starting at a new job just fills me with dread right now even though I know that I was in a uniquely toxic workplace and a new job is likely to be much better.
I'm interested in advice or suggestions from folks who have dealt with burnout on what might be a good use of this time.
This year I've made my physical health a big priority and I have started running and working with a personal trainer. I'm also working on polishing up some of the skills and credentials that would be helpful in my job search.
My fully remote job is ending due to the end of a research grant so I really have very little work for the next 90 days and do not have to prepare or train a replacement. All of the grant deliverables have already been met so I am just working on closing everything out. I have insurance through my spouse, so no big concerns about that. I'm also just so incredibly tired because of the workload, chaos, and general mean-spiritedness at my job. The idea of starting at a new job just fills me with dread right now even though I know that I was in a uniquely toxic workplace and a new job is likely to be much better.
I'm interested in advice or suggestions from folks who have dealt with burnout on what might be a good use of this time.
This year I've made my physical health a big priority and I have started running and working with a personal trainer. I'm also working on polishing up some of the skills and credentials that would be helpful in my job search.
Have you read the Burnout book by Amelia Nagoski? I have yet to read it but my coworker found it helpful.
It might also be good to be intentional about spending time woth people who are kind and positive. Spaces like yoga studios, running clubs, animal shelters, and local gatherings where people rest and recharge together. I find myself self isolating when work is draining and it feels calming to be in proximity to other people, even if we are just breathing together in yoga class.
posted by fern at 12:42 PM on April 20 [6 favorites]
It might also be good to be intentional about spending time woth people who are kind and positive. Spaces like yoga studios, running clubs, animal shelters, and local gatherings where people rest and recharge together. I find myself self isolating when work is draining and it feels calming to be in proximity to other people, even if we are just breathing together in yoga class.
posted by fern at 12:42 PM on April 20 [6 favorites]
Sleep.
Seriously, make sleep a priority. That might look like sleeping later in the mornings or going to bed earlier at night, scheduling full naps during the day, adding something extra special to a bedtime routine or fixing up your bedroom in some way. Burnout is physical and tons of rest is really important. Sleeping helps you maintain a healthy body when you change your physical exertion levels and styles, it helps stabilize things like your appetite, your threshold for aggravation, your ability to focus, and more. It even helps your brain process trauma and learn more effectively from your experiences. Try to think of sleep as something you are actively doing, just like going for a walk or getting good at excel.
posted by Mizu at 12:44 PM on April 20 [10 favorites]
Seriously, make sleep a priority. That might look like sleeping later in the mornings or going to bed earlier at night, scheduling full naps during the day, adding something extra special to a bedtime routine or fixing up your bedroom in some way. Burnout is physical and tons of rest is really important. Sleeping helps you maintain a healthy body when you change your physical exertion levels and styles, it helps stabilize things like your appetite, your threshold for aggravation, your ability to focus, and more. It even helps your brain process trauma and learn more effectively from your experiences. Try to think of sleep as something you are actively doing, just like going for a walk or getting good at excel.
posted by Mizu at 12:44 PM on April 20 [10 favorites]
Don’t forget to apply for unemployment benefits! YOU are for whom these benefits exist.
posted by BostonTerrier at 1:11 PM on April 20 [4 favorites]
posted by BostonTerrier at 1:11 PM on April 20 [4 favorites]
Sleep is the only way to cure burnout, so see if your on can find some ways to improve your sleep.
Darker room, declutter it, better air quality, white noise machine, analog alarm clock, comfier bedding, treat your sleep apnea if you have it, etc.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 1:45 PM on April 20 [2 favorites]
Darker room, declutter it, better air quality, white noise machine, analog alarm clock, comfier bedding, treat your sleep apnea if you have it, etc.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 1:45 PM on April 20 [2 favorites]
Swim hard, shower at the pool/gym, plan to sleep immediately when you get home. Use a thick towel on your pillow if your hair is still wet and change it frequently to prevent mildew.
Do a search for a local massage school - maybe you can get an awe-inspiring massage deal.
Set up a breakfast area outside near some flowers or a bird bath or a tuft of grass or an interesting rock or something.
Go outside as soon as you wake up to let the sun into your skin.
posted by amtho at 2:13 PM on April 20 [2 favorites]
Do a search for a local massage school - maybe you can get an awe-inspiring massage deal.
Set up a breakfast area outside near some flowers or a bird bath or a tuft of grass or an interesting rock or something.
Go outside as soon as you wake up to let the sun into your skin.
posted by amtho at 2:13 PM on April 20 [2 favorites]
AND: last time I did regular exercise, I did _naps_ every day at the same time, 9-9:25 AM. Miraculous.
Thank you for reminding me of all this.
posted by amtho at 2:14 PM on April 20 [1 favorite]
Thank you for reminding me of all this.
posted by amtho at 2:14 PM on April 20 [1 favorite]
When I was on burnout leave my doctor told me that rest was the best thing I could possibly do for myself. It just takes time for the body to repair the damage burnout causes. Do what you need to, to feel settled and comfortable and safe. And give yourself time.
posted by spindle at 5:35 PM on April 20
posted by spindle at 5:35 PM on April 20
It doesn't sound like you have one, but if you do have an FSA, you get the entire year's worth of contributions to spend, even though you've not put the full amount in.
Having been in a slightly similar situation years ago, I'd recommend trying to stick to a schedule after taking a week or two of vacation to recharge when it comes to an end. It doesn't have to be work related, mine included boosting my exercise, doing some long term home maintenance that had been deferred due to the stress from work, reading some of the fiction in my queue, taking classes for fun on Coursera, etc. But there was a semi-formal schedule so I didn't just wake up without a plan de jour.
If there's any co-workers you want to keep in touch with, connect with them on LinkedIn and trade personal contact info if both parties desire.
posted by Candleman at 8:33 PM on April 20
Having been in a slightly similar situation years ago, I'd recommend trying to stick to a schedule after taking a week or two of vacation to recharge when it comes to an end. It doesn't have to be work related, mine included boosting my exercise, doing some long term home maintenance that had been deferred due to the stress from work, reading some of the fiction in my queue, taking classes for fun on Coursera, etc. But there was a semi-formal schedule so I didn't just wake up without a plan de jour.
If there's any co-workers you want to keep in touch with, connect with them on LinkedIn and trade personal contact info if both parties desire.
posted by Candleman at 8:33 PM on April 20
Best answer: I got laid off end of November and no exaggeration, it has been THE MOST WONDERFUL 4 months of my life (I start a job next week). What I did
- December went by in a flash as we have kids and it was holiday season. I got to really get into the holiday spirit, decorating and planning and taking my time about it.
- i did a mindfulness exercise to really sit down and think about my life. I used a worksheet called Year Compass which is free. It was difficult and took me a week to complete, in small chunks of time. The most challenging part was to be honest with myself.
- I finished craft projects that had lingered on the side including a knitted blanket that i started 6 years ago. I found joy in old hobbies.
- I picked up sewing which I wanted to do go a long time. I even had a sewing machine that was gathering dust! But I dedicated hours to learning it from scratch using books and YouTube. I just finished a pair of trousers, which I am so proud of as it was really hard!
- I had gorgeous lunches with friends who were either on maternity leave or worked from home so had some nice catch ups to spark or strengthen friendships.
- I organised my wardrobe. I organised my husbands wardrobe. I organised all my craft supplies. It felt so good to have a physical clear out.
I have been beyond fortunate that I had a decent severance package and a very supportive partner in all of this so I didn’t feel a financial pressure like I had in previous situations where I was laid off and I was stressed to find a job as soon as possible.
This part might be a bit eye rolling but for some reason, this time around I just sort of “listened to the universe” and said yes to things I may have said no (or made excuses for) in the past. And the chips have somehow fallen into place. I’ve made new friends, fallen back in love with creativity and making things, and I’m actually really excited about my new job. Which isn’t actually new - again with the universe somehow aligning, I reconnected with a previous employer and I’m going back with a promotion and a raise.
I hope you are able to make the best of this time to find peace and fulfilment.
posted by like_neon at 5:04 AM on April 21 [3 favorites]
- December went by in a flash as we have kids and it was holiday season. I got to really get into the holiday spirit, decorating and planning and taking my time about it.
- i did a mindfulness exercise to really sit down and think about my life. I used a worksheet called Year Compass which is free. It was difficult and took me a week to complete, in small chunks of time. The most challenging part was to be honest with myself.
- I finished craft projects that had lingered on the side including a knitted blanket that i started 6 years ago. I found joy in old hobbies.
- I picked up sewing which I wanted to do go a long time. I even had a sewing machine that was gathering dust! But I dedicated hours to learning it from scratch using books and YouTube. I just finished a pair of trousers, which I am so proud of as it was really hard!
- I had gorgeous lunches with friends who were either on maternity leave or worked from home so had some nice catch ups to spark or strengthen friendships.
- I organised my wardrobe. I organised my husbands wardrobe. I organised all my craft supplies. It felt so good to have a physical clear out.
I have been beyond fortunate that I had a decent severance package and a very supportive partner in all of this so I didn’t feel a financial pressure like I had in previous situations where I was laid off and I was stressed to find a job as soon as possible.
This part might be a bit eye rolling but for some reason, this time around I just sort of “listened to the universe” and said yes to things I may have said no (or made excuses for) in the past. And the chips have somehow fallen into place. I’ve made new friends, fallen back in love with creativity and making things, and I’m actually really excited about my new job. Which isn’t actually new - again with the universe somehow aligning, I reconnected with a previous employer and I’m going back with a promotion and a raise.
I hope you are able to make the best of this time to find peace and fulfilment.
posted by like_neon at 5:04 AM on April 21 [3 favorites]
You are going to feel *sooo* much better about life knowing that you now have an escape/exit date (and not too much to do).
You now have the gift of knowing any remaining bullshit can't really touch you. You don't need to care about it anymore. The freedom!
Normally I'd suggest telling new jobs that you can start 2 weeks after the current job finishes, so that you get a holiday in between...
(Going to Thailand, getting massages, and doing a short meditation retreat is my preferred plan, and suggestion for a previous burnt out mefi poster who said that went well for them).
But, if you are remote, and don't have much to do... can you kind of take a working holiday, while you 'work' in the next 90 days?
Like, can you pay for enough phone data that you can jump onto a meeting if needed, but otherwise go tenting , hiking or something? Get out of your usual environment?
It really helps to reset and get out of patterns of thinking (even if that patterns just, my life sucks because my job sucks!) by changing up your environment and resting a bunch. It might give you some better perspective on what you want to do *next*.
You have the time, 3 months, to identify places that you'd actually *like* to work instead, and tell them that if they have any roles coming up you would like to be considered. And given the lack of work currently, you can put a little more effort into applications if it sparks your interest. Try out tools that are required, and explain that you've started picking up the basics etc.
You can, completely outside work, follow things that spark your interest, which is actually really valuable when you're burnt out and disconnected from having that spark.
You have an escape route, congratulations!
posted by Elysum at 5:25 AM on April 21 [1 favorite]
You now have the gift of knowing any remaining bullshit can't really touch you. You don't need to care about it anymore. The freedom!
Normally I'd suggest telling new jobs that you can start 2 weeks after the current job finishes, so that you get a holiday in between...
(Going to Thailand, getting massages, and doing a short meditation retreat is my preferred plan, and suggestion for a previous burnt out mefi poster who said that went well for them).
But, if you are remote, and don't have much to do... can you kind of take a working holiday, while you 'work' in the next 90 days?
Like, can you pay for enough phone data that you can jump onto a meeting if needed, but otherwise go tenting , hiking or something? Get out of your usual environment?
It really helps to reset and get out of patterns of thinking (even if that patterns just, my life sucks because my job sucks!) by changing up your environment and resting a bunch. It might give you some better perspective on what you want to do *next*.
You have the time, 3 months, to identify places that you'd actually *like* to work instead, and tell them that if they have any roles coming up you would like to be considered. And given the lack of work currently, you can put a little more effort into applications if it sparks your interest. Try out tools that are required, and explain that you've started picking up the basics etc.
You can, completely outside work, follow things that spark your interest, which is actually really valuable when you're burnt out and disconnected from having that spark.
You have an escape route, congratulations!
posted by Elysum at 5:25 AM on April 21 [1 favorite]
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posted by limeonaire at 12:19 PM on April 20 [2 favorites]