My dowager cat is driving me nuts

November 21, 2023 8:28 AM

How do I keep my sweet, fragile 18.5-year-old cat safe while getting a decent night's sleep?

My 5.5-lb Tonkinese cat, Beatrix, is very bonded to me. She has slept with me every night of her life (save for about 6 months when she was mad I brought in another cat). In the last six months, she has become very clingy and wants to sit on someone most of the time. She used to kind of hole up in bed and poke her head out and stay in one spot for most of the night. Now, she paces across my face, headbutts my face for me to let her in and out of the blanket cave, tries to sit with her paws poking my kidneys, etc. It's not great and it's affecting my sleep. I can't seem to get over the 100th cold my baby has brought home from day care because I can't sleep properly.

My husband wants to kick her out and leave her with the other two cats who roughhouse and one in particular who likes to tackle and bite the lady cats. I think this is a bad idea but I can't think of any other ideas. Locking her in a bathroom seems mean. Have you had this happen with your cats? Did anything work to tame the instinct to pace and cling?

posted by *s to Pets & Animals (16 answers total)

Best answer: It sounds like she wants to be warm and cozy, and you are her favorite source of warmth. You could try a heated cat bed, a lot of older cats really take to them.
posted by arachnidette at 8:45 AM on November 21, 2023 [21 favorites]

Best answer: Sounds like maybe she can't settle because she's cold (older cats get cold very easily) or in pain; she wants reassurance / comfort / your body heat. General clinginess could indicate either pain or cold, but lots of pacing plus clinginess makes me think pain. Either way, she'd probably adore a heated cat bed. K&H brand are great and high quality. And you might want to make a vet appointment to check that there's not something medical going on.
posted by 100kb at 9:33 AM on November 21, 2023 [8 favorites]

I would try keeping a heated cat bed on your bed (maybe at the foot) so she is near you and also warm enough. maybe put a blankie on the heated bed so she can burrow.
posted by supermedusa at 9:37 AM on November 21, 2023 [1 favorite]

I set up an electric blanket on a low couch/large ottoman next to the bed. I've even used a large fabric suitcase in a pinch. The blanket is on the lowest or second lowest setting and like many newer blankets, it has an automatic shut off (after 8 hours? 10 hours?). Depending on where I set up their zone, I can reach out and pet the cats as I fall asleep or as soon as I wake up.
posted by spamandkimchi at 9:46 AM on November 21, 2023 [2 favorites]

Your husband might balk at this one, but what about a co-sleeper with an electric blanket? She would be near you and warm, but not in your actual bed.
posted by queensissy at 10:15 AM on November 21, 2023

Best answer: When our vet ruled out health problems for similar night time behavior, she finally prescribed a night-time dose of Gabapentin for our gremlin. It's commonly used as both sedative and pain medication, which I think our older kitty appreciated anyway. We give him an appropriate dose for his size about 60-90 minutes before bed, and he now sleeps through the night without bothering us. I notice he still gets up sometimes (whether it's to nibble on food or use the litter box) but jumps back onto the bed after and quietly settles down again.

We spent years with a destroyed sleep schedule previously, so this was a Big Deal.

The only caveat our vet gave us is she'll want to reduce the dose if he has any trouble with his kidneys in the future. Your kitty is older and smaller than ours so it's likely that any Gabapentin dose will need to be compounded specially through a pharmacy for such a little gal, but going this route saved our health and our relationship with our own kitty.
posted by It Was Capitalism All Along at 10:25 AM on November 21, 2023 [13 favorites]

heated cat bed.

Also: David Teie's music for cats - tested, created with natural cat sounds in mind, pretty cool.
posted by amtho at 10:37 AM on November 21, 2023 [1 favorite]

Does she have arthritis? My cat became very fussy and skinny and the vet diagnosed arthritis. A monthly injection of Solensia has worked wonders. He also took very well to a heated bed and it seems to help him sleep longer.
posted by tiny frying pan at 10:44 AM on November 21, 2023 [6 favorites]

Yes, for my cat with back issues, Solensia has been magical.
posted by ursus_comiter at 10:55 AM on November 21, 2023 [1 favorite]

I second a heated cat bed, and I second taking her to the vet for an assessment.

At that age, there's almost no chance she doesn't have arthritis. A change in behavior like you describe could also be to other health issues that cause discomfort; sick cats can become more clingy.

For that reason I would also feel really bad about shutting her up in an area with cats that will be rambunctious or aggressive with her. If she was on good, chill terms with them it would be better than being alone, but otherwise it's not. A space by herself, with a way to keep warm, things that smell like herself, etc, would be a lot kinder if you really do have to shut her out of your bedroom.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 11:06 AM on November 21, 2023 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Thank you all for the thoughtful responses. She's on Solensia (prompted by my veterinary attempts to address the behavior) and subcutaneous fluids and has no health issues aside from old lady arthritis and not drinking enough. I've ordered the K&H heated cat bed and we'll see if that helps before adding another med that her kidneys need to process. I appreciate all the help on a day where I can't think straight.
posted by *s at 11:27 AM on November 21, 2023 [3 favorites]

Response by poster: Oh and jeez, I really am out of it because I forgot to pay the pet tax.
posted by *s at 11:36 AM on November 21, 2023 [39 favorites]

Oh my - she is beautiful!
posted by queensissy at 11:43 AM on November 21, 2023 [1 favorite]

Sweet older lady! Hope she calms. :)
posted by tiny frying pan at 12:19 PM on November 21, 2023

aww the tiny cute. I hope the heated bed works for her!
posted by supermedusa at 8:21 AM on November 22, 2023

Response by poster: Ok, an update in case it is helpful to someone else with this issue. The cat bed did not work, she wants to be touching me with her face close to me. I'm considering adding gabapentin for her if my next move of sleeping pills for me does not work. I also left out extra food to eliminate one potential source of cat angst, which helped last night.
posted by *s at 11:00 AM on December 11, 2023