is there a name for this traffic scenario?

May 24, 2022 3:10 PM

I was just angrily honked at twice during the 1.5-mile round trip to my kids’ daycare. Something similar happens several times a week. It happens so much, to me and to others, that it’s probably got a name. I’d like to know more about the situation, including how to handle it.

Let’s say, for this example, that I’m driving southbound in the left lane of a road with two lanes in either direction, and trying to make a left turn to go eastbound. There’s traffic in both northbound lanes. The drive in the left northbound lane stops and signals they’ll let me turn. Traffic in the right northbound lane continues normally. Not wanting to get in an accident, I don’t turn. The driver in the left northbound lane becomes increasingly agitated that I’m not availing myself of their hospitality until they finally decide to start driving again. (Often this coincides with a gap in traffic in the right northbound lane that would have otherwise allowed me to make the turn.)

This has to have a name, right?

And what am I supposed to do? Turn into oncoming traffic and expose my toddler to a t-bone collision at 45mph?

posted by kevinbelt to Travel & Transportation (29 answers total)

I think they want you to occupy their northbound lane at which point someone in the right lane will notice you and stop as well. Seems like wishful thinking and an invitation for an accident. I'd do it if traffic is packed and cars aren't really moving, such as if there's a red light for them up ahead but otherwise I'm just going to wait for an actual break in traffic.

I hate it when I'm on my bike and a car at a 4-way stop decides to let me go even though they got their first. I have to wait extra long to make sure they just aren't being inattentive and I'll motion for them to go and they'll motion for me to go and really if they had just taken their turn we both would have been through the intersection by now.

I call it "Giving a fuck when it isn't their turn" in honour of The Wire.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 3:20 PM on May 24, 2022 [32 favorites]

I don't know what its true name is, but the driver who's stopping for you is doing something wrong by not following the rule I follow, which is don't drive slower than the car behind you. I'd be honking at that guy.
posted by emelenjr at 3:21 PM on May 24, 2022 [6 favorites]

It happens frequently to cyclists but I'm not aware it has a name. I just wait until there's a gap where I feel safe, they can honk all they want.
posted by mcgsa at 3:26 PM on May 24, 2022 [7 favorites]

I also experience this as a pedestrian, and it drives me completely bananas how the drivers never seem to understand what is happening.
posted by eirias at 3:27 PM on May 24, 2022 [4 favorites]

shake your head, signal them with your hand that they should proceed.

the other thing I sometimes do in a similar situation (not this, but when I'm a pedestrian and someone has stopped to let me go, but I don't want to go, because it's actually not safe and I just want them to get the hell on with it and clear the road so it WILL be safe once they're GONE) is to look away. without eye contact, there's nothing for them to gesticulate at, and they tend to just go.
posted by fingersandtoes at 3:27 PM on May 24, 2022 [12 favorites]

This sounds like a misguided application of the Pittsburgh left, only without a stoplight. Dangerous.
posted by basalganglia at 3:29 PM on May 24, 2022 [3 favorites]

The traffic situation you describe (car turning left across two or more lanes, and an oncoming car in its outside lane stops to allow you to turn) is called a "blind left". The stopped car is probably making it impossible for you to see oncoming cars behind the stopped car.

The stopped car is wrong for stopping, and you're right for not turning. Ignore the ignorant driver(s) behind you. Accidents caused by this situation are common and you can find many examples of them captured on dashcam on YouTube.
posted by davcoo at 3:35 PM on May 24, 2022 [11 favorites]

If you don't want to turn, just smile and gesture for them to keep going.

There are scenarios where this makes sense, normally when the other lane you need to cross should be going slowly (i.e. approaching a stoplight, slow-moving traffic). But if you gesture you want them to keep going they'll just shrug and move along - it's the "politely waiting and you not taking advantage of it" that's annoying causing them to be annoyed enough to honk.

This is perhaps akin to a learned behavior in an ex that he must hold a door open for whomever was behind him... even when they were quite far. Personally I hate this, when I'm the one leisurely strolling towards the door and now feel obligated to rush so the person "politely holding the door for me" doesn't have to wait too long (plus whomever else they're with). The door-holder thinks they're being polite, but actually they're being clueless to the actual situation.
posted by DoubleLune at 3:37 PM on May 24, 2022 [8 favorites]

Right-of-way is there so that everyone driving these dangerous multi-ton vehicles knows what to expect and not cause accidents. Some people thing they are being polite and generous, but they are idiots who don't understand why rules are important.
posted by rikschell at 3:38 PM on May 24, 2022 [30 favorites]

shake your head, signal them with your hand that they should proceed.

Yep that is the answer to what you are supposed to do. I see this a lot as a pedestrian and it's really rough. I am waiting to cross the street. Someone stops for me one way while traffic continues to zip by going the other way. I will often just wave the stopped car on and smile, but occasionally someone will get shirty with me and peel out after I do this. Oh well, you can't always keep everyone happy when driving/walking and I think it's better to stay safe as long as you're not endangering others.
posted by jessamyn at 3:41 PM on May 24, 2022 [7 favorites]

I would call this a wave of death situation.
posted by Countess Elena at 3:53 PM on May 24, 2022 [14 favorites]

It's not hospitality to go against the rules of the road. The other driver is creating a dangerous situation. Wave them on.
posted by quince at 3:54 PM on May 24, 2022 [5 favorites]

And what am I supposed to do? Turn into oncoming traffic and expose my toddler to a t-bone collision at 45mph?

Just wave at them to move on. If they get shirty, shake your head at their ignorance. Maybe if enough people don't take them up on it, they'll figure it out.

The only car accident I've ever been in, I hit someone turning left in the situation you describe. It was a busy street where stop-and-go traffic was normal, so it didn't register that the cars in the lane next to me had stopped to let someone turn. I couldn't see the turning car until I bonked it. Luckily, it was a very minor accident, but it definitely drove home Why You Don't Do That.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 3:56 PM on May 24, 2022 [2 favorites]

I have seen this exact scenario result in exactly the T-Bone accident you are afraid of and it was horrifying. I will generally ignore the person trying to graciously wave me into a terrible crash. Maybe you could point at the cars speeding past him and it might clue him into understanding that the offer he is making is not of value to you? But that’s assuming people learn, which may be too much of an assumption.
posted by Vatnesine at 3:58 PM on May 24, 2022 [5 favorites]

By the way, this kind of situation is why many four lane roads are given a road diet to two traffic lanes, a turn lane, and two bike lanes.

These roads tend to carry about the same amount of traffic more smoothly, and with fewer, less fatal crashes.
posted by rockindata at 4:53 PM on May 24, 2022 [6 favorites]

It only works if there's a red light behind you and the stopped car could possibly keep going and get across the gap, or they could wait and see if the other lane is also nice enough to wait and leave the left-turn gap open to let you make the left against stopped traffic. The other option can be that the cars keep piling up for the red light behind you and don't leave a gap so you can make a turn. Sometimes they put markings down with a "Do Not Block" in them where if your car won't fully fit on the other side, you're supposed to stop so that you don't block the intersection. Some people will do this even if there isn't a "Do Not Block" laid down. They are willing to let you turn in front of them in the hopes that the other lane will also have decent people who will see you there and stop to leave you room to continue. Happens a lot in dense neighborhoods where it's obvious that say... you're just trying to turn into your driveway, or get into the gas station. It's only really practically nice and decent when there's a red light up ahead and they're just leaving a gap just in case the other lane is willing to leave a gap also.
posted by zengargoyle at 5:30 PM on May 24, 2022

Don't turn left. Find another way to get there. Sooner or later the odds will catch up to you and you will be in an accident.
posted by charlesminus at 5:36 PM on May 24, 2022

My wife and I call this “the road to hell” whenever we see it. I’ve never heard it referred to with an actual term though.

You’re supposed to wait when my primary commute was by bike my son and I came across this so much that, at the tender age of 5 he peeked over my back (we were on a cargo bike) and yelled “YOU HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY!!!” at someone pulling that shit when we were making a left. He then proceeded to give them the thumbs down.

I can take credit for teaching him the former, but the thumbs down was all him…a delightful touch. cheffkiss.gif
posted by furnace.heart at 6:26 PM on May 24, 2022 [13 favorites]

There is a term to describe people who engage in this general scenario - yielding the right-of-way in such a way that it makes everything less predictable, less safe, and less efficient:

Niceholes.
posted by aquamvidam at 7:05 PM on May 24, 2022 [13 favorites]

For people walking or biking across the street in this scenario it’s called a “double threat” design or a “multiple threat” design.
posted by nanhey at 7:59 PM on May 24, 2022 [5 favorites]

I've heard it referred to as "The Suicide Gap". Your insurance company will most certainly find you at fault. They are clueless drivers.
posted by effluvia at 8:45 PM on May 24, 2022 [2 favorites]

'Nicehole' seems a but harsh; I think of it as Being Too Nice. 'The Wave of Death' fits, too.
posted by Rash at 8:59 PM on May 24, 2022 [1 favorite]

It's called a "violation of right of way rules." Don't accept, and wait 'til you're actually clear. People doing this endanger everyone else.
posted by Miko at 10:10 PM on May 24, 2022 [2 favorites]

Wait, you're getting honked at *by the driver across from you trying to wave you through*? Or just honked at by someone waiting behind you? (Either way, that's not even Masshole behavior, that's just plain assholic behavior from too-aggressive-drivers who need to go back to traffic school.)
posted by Pandora Kouti at 10:54 PM on May 24, 2022

It wasn't until I got into boating that I learned how important it is that your travel, speed, and direction be readily apparent to and predictable to others sharing the water. In a car, lanes of travel and traffic control devices are the top two factors that provide predictability. The third, not far behind at all, is the rules of the road.

When you are driving, if you have the right of way, take it. Two seconds and you're done. That is what the other drivers expect. When you don't do it, you are not being nice. You're being disruptive.
posted by yclipse at 3:56 AM on May 25, 2022 [4 favorites]

I wave people on when they do this.

If they honk, or seem agitated, ok. Their feelings aren't my fault.

More importantly: honks can't hurt me, but being T-boned most certainly will.
posted by champers at 4:11 AM on May 25, 2022 [3 favorites]

This is a very common behavior in New England - no idea why - and it's kind of infuriating. What the other driver is expecting you to do is to turn in front of them and stop, blocking their entire lane of traffic until someone in the outside lane sees the front of your car and also decides to stop to let you through.

When someone does not stop for you like you've described, the people behind you are expecting you to creep forward into oncoming traffic until someone is forced to stop or hit you. Then you creep forward until the second lane is forced to stop.

Is this sensible or even legal? Absolutely not. Driving around here gives the Champs Elysees roundabout a run for its money.
posted by backseatpilot at 6:22 AM on May 25, 2022 [4 favorites]

I don't know if it has a name but I've been in two car accidents that were this situation. I would NEVER go unless both lanes are free, because that person gets hit a lot.
posted by magnetsphere at 12:07 PM on May 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

You don't have the right of way, the person granting you provisional right of way is wrong - they may feel like they're being helpful and annoyed when you don't take their (very ill advised) offer.

I've seen this; someone too up the "helpful" driver's offer, then got badly T-boned by a speeding car in the far opposite lane.
posted by porpoise at 7:53 PM on May 25, 2022 [1 favorite]