Toilet safety for the vain and elderly
March 1, 2022 2:35 PM Subscribe
Are there toilet safety rails that don't look like something out of hospice care?
My mother is aging, and had an injury a couple years ago that never quite healed. She can walk with a cane, but not fast, and has significant mobility issues. She's a little vain and though nobody visits her house, she doesn't want anything in her home that makes it obvious she has an injury.
Recently, she told me that it's been hard to get up after using the toilet. She wants to replace the toilet with a tall toilet. That's fine, and it's her decision, but the toilet works fine and she's on a fixed income, and replacing a toilet isn't the cheapest option. I'd never heard of a solution but I thought there was a market for some sort of safety apparatus that doesn't look like hospital equipment. Lots of elderly people have more money than mobility and would pay for their bathroom to look nice. It would have to be secure but freestanding, as the toilet isn't so strong that it could support her much longer and I'd prefer not to have to drill into the wall.
A quick search on Amazon got me "toilet safety rails" that look like they'd do the job (like this), but everything looks like medical equipment. Anyone have any ideas for something we could buy that looks elegant and nice?
My mother is aging, and had an injury a couple years ago that never quite healed. She can walk with a cane, but not fast, and has significant mobility issues. She's a little vain and though nobody visits her house, she doesn't want anything in her home that makes it obvious she has an injury.
Recently, she told me that it's been hard to get up after using the toilet. She wants to replace the toilet with a tall toilet. That's fine, and it's her decision, but the toilet works fine and she's on a fixed income, and replacing a toilet isn't the cheapest option. I'd never heard of a solution but I thought there was a market for some sort of safety apparatus that doesn't look like hospital equipment. Lots of elderly people have more money than mobility and would pay for their bathroom to look nice. It would have to be secure but freestanding, as the toilet isn't so strong that it could support her much longer and I'd prefer not to have to drill into the wall.
A quick search on Amazon got me "toilet safety rails" that look like they'd do the job (like this), but everything looks like medical equipment. Anyone have any ideas for something we could buy that looks elegant and nice?
Our solution was this combination raised toilet seat plus frame . Benefit is that is sits directly on the ground so it can take a lot of weight and it is sturdy. Not the ugliest but not great looking either. Our solution is to stick it in the bathtub with the shower curtain drawn when not in use. Or in your mother's case, when company comes over. It is pretty lightweight although I don't if she has the balance to lift and move it.
Did you know that developing an attractive option for exactly this problem is a major plot point in season 6 of Grace and Frankie?
posted by metahawk at 2:51 PM on March 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
Did you know that developing an attractive option for exactly this problem is a major plot point in season 6 of Grace and Frankie?
posted by metahawk at 2:51 PM on March 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
If the Michael Graves toilet seat can work with her current seat or a new seat, then do that. Installing grab bars in an attractive finish might help if there's a wall and a vanity cabinet on either side where they can be well anchored.
posted by Elsie at 2:55 PM on March 1, 2022
posted by Elsie at 2:55 PM on March 1, 2022
We went with metal grab bars on the wall across from the toilet-they just look like a chubby towel bar. But if you don't want to drill into the wall, and you don't want something too bulky and "hospital" looking, these handles might do it. They're small enough they can be put away if someone comes over.
posted by assenav at 3:07 PM on March 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by assenav at 3:07 PM on March 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
Just wanted to point out that they make grab bars that look even more like towel racks. So if you're willing to drill into the wall as a 'change in decor', it's an option.
I installed that one in my parents' house when my dad needed them. I was concerned that my mother would object to losing the existing towel rack, but I wanted to ensure that if he mistakenly used it, he wouldn't rip the towel rack off the cabinet and then get injured. It looks close enough to the existing towel racks they had that you can't even tell it's a grab bar unless you look closely. They're available in various other styles, so
you may be able to find one that matches her bathroom decor.
posted by yuwtze at 4:12 PM on March 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
I installed that one in my parents' house when my dad needed them. I was concerned that my mother would object to losing the existing towel rack, but I wanted to ensure that if he mistakenly used it, he wouldn't rip the towel rack off the cabinet and then get injured. It looks close enough to the existing towel racks they had that you can't even tell it's a grab bar unless you look closely. They're available in various other styles, so
you may be able to find one that matches her bathroom decor.
posted by yuwtze at 4:12 PM on March 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
My grandma got a tall toilet and other (not elderly) members of the family loved it so much they all went out and got tall toilets, too.
There is zero overlap in functionality between a tall toilet and a short toilet with grab bars. Think of the skills you have to engage to rise from a short toilet with a grab bar. You got arthritis? You're stuck on the toilet. You got a shoulder issue? You're stuck on the toilet. You lose muscle strength in your arms? You're stuck on the toilet. Etc etc think of all the bone and muscle groups that have to be engaged.
If your mom wants a tall toilet, go with the tall toilet. Or at the very least a seat riser for a while to see if the tall toilet achieves what she needs. (In addition to a grab bar, they are helpers but won't solve the whole problem.)
If you think your mom's vanity is going to cause a problem with a utilitarian grab bar, just wait til she has to call the fire department to come help her off the too low shitter.
posted by phunniemee at 4:46 PM on March 1, 2022 [14 favorites]
There is zero overlap in functionality between a tall toilet and a short toilet with grab bars. Think of the skills you have to engage to rise from a short toilet with a grab bar. You got arthritis? You're stuck on the toilet. You got a shoulder issue? You're stuck on the toilet. You lose muscle strength in your arms? You're stuck on the toilet. Etc etc think of all the bone and muscle groups that have to be engaged.
If your mom wants a tall toilet, go with the tall toilet. Or at the very least a seat riser for a while to see if the tall toilet achieves what she needs. (In addition to a grab bar, they are helpers but won't solve the whole problem.)
If you think your mom's vanity is going to cause a problem with a utilitarian grab bar, just wait til she has to call the fire department to come help her off the too low shitter.
posted by phunniemee at 4:46 PM on March 1, 2022 [14 favorites]
I’m a healthy athletic seventy year old (won national championships last year in my age group in my sport) and I got a taller toilet and grab bars in the bathrooms in my house. The taller toilets aren’t that expensive; ours are attractive. Boy does it help. Tell your mom that if I can do it she can.
posted by Peach at 4:48 PM on March 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by Peach at 4:48 PM on March 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
Toilet safety rails look like home medical equipment because that’s what they are. However, the one linked in your post is especially ugly. If you’re looking for both taller and with rails, a raised toilet seat with built in handles (like this) is going to be more discrete looking than most alternatives.
posted by a box and a stick and a string and a bear at 6:36 PM on March 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by a box and a stick and a string and a bear at 6:36 PM on March 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
As a vain not-yet-elderly person, with no loving children, may I please just say that ... growing older and frailer is hard, even when someone is not vain. You sound very kind. Please keep that in mind with your mom. We all have our little vanities and things that are hard to accept. Good luck to you both!
posted by cyndigo at 6:57 PM on March 1, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by cyndigo at 6:57 PM on March 1, 2022 [7 favorites]
Super-discreet, but also expensive: Toiletvator.
posted by hydra77 at 7:27 PM on March 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by hydra77 at 7:27 PM on March 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
Most helper objects for the elderly are ugly because they are sold to built-in audiences in bulk, so they don't need to worry about customer satisfaction. This is changing a little because younger olds are demanding better — and so they should, the messaging behind some of this stuff is despicable, and very hard on the psyche. From what I've seen some of the links here are pretty nice, but if you want better, it can take a lot of googling but there are outfits out there experimenting and, frankly, I think they're worth it so as not to completely obliterate a senior's sense of self.
posted by Violet Blue at 8:31 PM on March 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Violet Blue at 8:31 PM on March 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
I suppose Bruce Conner's solution, installing brass handles everywhere in the house, documented in Brass Handles wouldn't be practical?
posted by SandiBeech at 4:32 AM on March 2, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by SandiBeech at 4:32 AM on March 2, 2022 [1 favorite]
Depending on the current height of the toilet you can buy "chair height" toilets which can be 2 to 4 inches higher than a normal toilet depending on the brands. They are not any more expensive than a normal toilet and can be had for around $100 to $150. They look entirely like a normal toilet. There are also numerous spacers you can get that install under the toilet to lift the height up from the bottom that are barely noticeable
While there are no pretty freestanding toilet rails out there, there are many that look less cluttered and medical than the one you picked so maybe the two of you can sit down at a computer and you can show her the different styles, maybe there is one she won't hate as much as the others. Also feeling like she is choosing might help her feel more in control and less buffeted by the winds of aging.
posted by wwax at 8:20 AM on March 2, 2022 [3 favorites]
While there are no pretty freestanding toilet rails out there, there are many that look less cluttered and medical than the one you picked so maybe the two of you can sit down at a computer and you can show her the different styles, maybe there is one she won't hate as much as the others. Also feeling like she is choosing might help her feel more in control and less buffeted by the winds of aging.
posted by wwax at 8:20 AM on March 2, 2022 [3 favorites]
BlahLaLa’s comments led me to browse the CVS selection of commodes, as one does, and evidently there’s a more elaborate commode designed by Michael Graves that can straddle the toilet and has arms and stuff, presumably would be helpful for standing.
posted by Sublimity at 4:25 PM on March 2, 2022
posted by Sublimity at 4:25 PM on March 2, 2022
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by BlahLaLa at 2:44 PM on March 1, 2022 [3 favorites]