Managing screen time for autistic kid
October 24, 2016 2:18 PM Subscribe
Help me find the best screen time manager for kids ever! Difficulty: autism.
Hi mefites! Our daughter, who is on track for an autism diagnosis, has recently been big into games and videos to the extent where everything else is getting sidetracked. We'd like to turn this around without punishing her by making screen time a reward for doing other stuff such as going to school every day, getting fresh air, doing homework etc.
The difficulty is that screen time is also a calming down tool for her and an occasional recourse for us as parents as well if she is feeling super anxious, so we have to be flexible about how we restrict it each day. We also have to make it as gentle as possible, otherwise a sudden loss of screen can cause a meltdown.
So we basically need some kind of screen time manager for kids that is super flexible, that allows us to control all devices, including a PC, from a phone, turn wifi off and on, hide apps at different times, and ideally have some kind of countdown so that everything turning off is not too much of a surprise. I know about Ourpact, but not sure if it works for PCs, and would like to know about any (better?) alternatives. We are willing to pay to have something that covers everything, and that is super secure and impossible for a very tech-savvy youngster to hack! Thanks :)
Hi mefites! Our daughter, who is on track for an autism diagnosis, has recently been big into games and videos to the extent where everything else is getting sidetracked. We'd like to turn this around without punishing her by making screen time a reward for doing other stuff such as going to school every day, getting fresh air, doing homework etc.
The difficulty is that screen time is also a calming down tool for her and an occasional recourse for us as parents as well if she is feeling super anxious, so we have to be flexible about how we restrict it each day. We also have to make it as gentle as possible, otherwise a sudden loss of screen can cause a meltdown.
So we basically need some kind of screen time manager for kids that is super flexible, that allows us to control all devices, including a PC, from a phone, turn wifi off and on, hide apps at different times, and ideally have some kind of countdown so that everything turning off is not too much of a surprise. I know about Ourpact, but not sure if it works for PCs, and would like to know about any (better?) alternatives. We are willing to pay to have something that covers everything, and that is super secure and impossible for a very tech-savvy youngster to hack! Thanks :)
My kids are extreme forms of ADHD, to the point where people mistake my son sometimes for autism among other diagnosis.
1. Poorly charged devices work wonders.
2. Giving screen time end options of 'Alright it's just about time to end, would you rather have 5 more minutes or 2 more minutes left?' with the outer bound as your actual expected end time. (This gives the illusion of choice and allows you to remind them what they agreed to.)
3. If you remember the wheel of morality from the blue, we actually use something like this for optional weekend screen time. Sometimes the kids get double screen time, and sometimes they don't get any based on what the wheel decrees (sometimes only one gets screen time). That sometimes means fits erupt, but in this case we blame it on their choice to spin.
So yeah, the big thing we'very found is consistent rules where we provide the choice to them and let external factors impact their tune to disconnect the attributed blame seems to work very well.
Also, on occasion, we just ban it for weeks at a time when the blowups get out of hand.
posted by Nanukthedog at 3:41 PM on October 24, 2016 [2 favorites]
1. Poorly charged devices work wonders.
2. Giving screen time end options of 'Alright it's just about time to end, would you rather have 5 more minutes or 2 more minutes left?' with the outer bound as your actual expected end time. (This gives the illusion of choice and allows you to remind them what they agreed to.)
3. If you remember the wheel of morality from the blue, we actually use something like this for optional weekend screen time. Sometimes the kids get double screen time, and sometimes they don't get any based on what the wheel decrees (sometimes only one gets screen time). That sometimes means fits erupt, but in this case we blame it on their choice to spin.
So yeah, the big thing we'very found is consistent rules where we provide the choice to them and let external factors impact their tune to disconnect the attributed blame seems to work very well.
Also, on occasion, we just ban it for weeks at a time when the blowups get out of hand.
posted by Nanukthedog at 3:41 PM on October 24, 2016 [2 favorites]
Re-reading your question I'm not sure how useful my suggestions are because I worked with children with different abilities, but hopefully some are helpful!
I don't have any recommendations for specific apps, but two things came to mind when I read your post. First, you want something concrete and visual. I'd suggest a visual timer where where she can actually see how much time she has left (like a pie that starts out 100% in red then slowly ticks down to white, or something like that). Kids with autism have trouble with abstract concepts like time and having a visual timer decreases the likelihood of a meltdown in my experience. (Does it have to be a screen? They make plastic hourglasses that are 5/10/15-minute timers, if you're interested in a non-tech option. She might be too old for that, though).
Second, you might want to consider something she can transition to after the screen. Kind of like a buffer in between the screen and "real life." Does she like to color? Does she like to draw or put things together? Maybe you can plan in 4 or 5 minutes of something like that, to make the transition easier. I always imagined that for the kids I worked with, making difficult transitions was like jumping into a cold pool - they feel shocked and need time to adjust to the idea of Doing Something New. I don't know her level of anxiety but I had some kids who just could not deal with transitions without a lot of difficulty. This was mitigated by the visual timer and a promise of going back to the screen after doing X. The kids I worked with were nonverbal, and your child sounds at a level much higher than that and possibly older, but some of those techniques still might help her.
Another idea is to keep a chart of the day or the week at home, so she can see her progress. I'm not sure if this would be motivating, but I'd be inclined to try something like the Seinfeld calendar, which puts an X on each day that you do [good habit]. If quick transitioning (or transitioning without a fit) is the goal, she can get an X on each day that she transitions well. Or each hour, or whatever you think is reasonable. If she doesn't "break the chain" for a day (or a half a day), she can earn back more screen time. You don't take X's away, only give them. It makes it like a game, and can be motivating for her to beat her own score and see how many X's she can get in a row. You can even make this a family thing - if there's something you want to do better (or less of) each day, you can have a chart too and show her that even adults mess up sometimes! This normalizes the chart and helps you to share in her experience.
And, I have to say, you guys sound like awesome parents : )
posted by onecircleaday at 4:48 PM on October 24, 2016 [2 favorites]
I don't have any recommendations for specific apps, but two things came to mind when I read your post. First, you want something concrete and visual. I'd suggest a visual timer where where she can actually see how much time she has left (like a pie that starts out 100% in red then slowly ticks down to white, or something like that). Kids with autism have trouble with abstract concepts like time and having a visual timer decreases the likelihood of a meltdown in my experience. (Does it have to be a screen? They make plastic hourglasses that are 5/10/15-minute timers, if you're interested in a non-tech option. She might be too old for that, though).
Second, you might want to consider something she can transition to after the screen. Kind of like a buffer in between the screen and "real life." Does she like to color? Does she like to draw or put things together? Maybe you can plan in 4 or 5 minutes of something like that, to make the transition easier. I always imagined that for the kids I worked with, making difficult transitions was like jumping into a cold pool - they feel shocked and need time to adjust to the idea of Doing Something New. I don't know her level of anxiety but I had some kids who just could not deal with transitions without a lot of difficulty. This was mitigated by the visual timer and a promise of going back to the screen after doing X. The kids I worked with were nonverbal, and your child sounds at a level much higher than that and possibly older, but some of those techniques still might help her.
Another idea is to keep a chart of the day or the week at home, so she can see her progress. I'm not sure if this would be motivating, but I'd be inclined to try something like the Seinfeld calendar, which puts an X on each day that you do [good habit]. If quick transitioning (or transitioning without a fit) is the goal, she can get an X on each day that she transitions well. Or each hour, or whatever you think is reasonable. If she doesn't "break the chain" for a day (or a half a day), she can earn back more screen time. You don't take X's away, only give them. It makes it like a game, and can be motivating for her to beat her own score and see how many X's she can get in a row. You can even make this a family thing - if there's something you want to do better (or less of) each day, you can have a chart too and show her that even adults mess up sometimes! This normalizes the chart and helps you to share in her experience.
And, I have to say, you guys sound like awesome parents : )
posted by onecircleaday at 4:48 PM on October 24, 2016 [2 favorites]
Oops - I see you do want an app, for the reason that you can control it on multiple devices. Disregard my timer comment! Sorry!
posted by onecircleaday at 4:54 PM on October 24, 2016
posted by onecircleaday at 4:54 PM on October 24, 2016
I really like Circle by Disney.
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats at 10:42 PM on October 24, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats at 10:42 PM on October 24, 2016 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thanks all for your responses. Yes nanuk sometimes a tablet that runs out of battery is a good stopping point, but at other times we need it charged at a moment's notice so that's a tricky one. We do give her a choice of stopping which helps a bit, but she responds best to outside, impassive rules, so a screen telling her to stop would be listened too more than her mum and dad.
onecircle: yes a timer would be awesome, and I am specifically looking for an app/system which is super nice and gives a timer before things go off.
Thanks goggie and Chaussette too for your answers.
Would appreciate any other recommendations, thanks :)
posted by low_horrible_immoral at 12:55 AM on October 25, 2016
onecircle: yes a timer would be awesome, and I am specifically looking for an app/system which is super nice and gives a timer before things go off.
Thanks goggie and Chaussette too for your answers.
Would appreciate any other recommendations, thanks :)
posted by low_horrible_immoral at 12:55 AM on October 25, 2016
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by goggie at 3:24 PM on October 24, 2016 [1 favorite]