I want a baby.
October 17, 2011 5:04 PM Subscribe
[Fertility filter] I've been trying fruitlessly to get pregnant for about 10 months. At what point do we talk to a doctor? Special snowflake details inside.
My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant since about January. I'm 34, in good health; he's 38, also good health. He knows he is fertile because he has had his sperm tested a long time ago for reasons that are now irrelevant. I have never had children. I know a lot of people say that at our age you only really need to see a doctor after a year or more of trying, but there are a few considerations in our case that make me wonder if I should talk to someone sooner.
First: in three out of the past 10 months I have had several of the early warning signs of pregnancy. The most obvious and striking is massive fatigue starting about a week after ovulation. I'm talking "fall asleep for 11 hours every night and still feel wiped and foggy all day" levels of fatigue. I've read that for first pregnancies you shouldn't feel anything really for the first few weeks, but I have nevertheless felt this. I also felt some of the other symptoms (in particular breast soreness and lots of peeing, especially at night) but those are a bit less obvious so I've discounted them somewhat. Still, it's really hard to ignore the fatigue, because it's so dramatically outside the range of normal for me. All three of those times were followed by longer-than-normal periods (6 days rather than 4) with lots of cramping. So I tend to think that those were "almost" pregnancies that just failed to implant. I know that chemical pregnancies exist, and aren't uncommon, but three in 10 months seems really high - if that's what they were. And maybe a sign of something wrong?
Second: After the first chemical pregnancy (if that's what it was), I completely stopped ovulating for three months. I was testing it with multiple different tests multiple times a day and... nothing. We had sex at around the right time regardless but nothing happened. Then, after three months, I started ovulating again. That doesn't seem like a good sign, does it?
For what it's worth, my periods have always been pretty regular, even during this "no ovulating" phase. 26-27 days almost always: in the past year I had one at 21 days (after I was quite sick for a week) and one at 32 but other than that it's always been 26-27 days. And the period has always come 13 to 14 days after the actual ovulation, except for the one time I was sick and my phase was 21 days.
So... is this worth seeing my GP about, or should we just hold tight and keep trying? It's been an emotional rollercoaster and since I'm nearing the age of 35 I feel like if there IS something wrong I want to find out sooner than later. But if all that would happen is that I go to the doctor and they tell me to wait, I don't see a reason to put myself through that (or spend the money on it).
My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant since about January. I'm 34, in good health; he's 38, also good health. He knows he is fertile because he has had his sperm tested a long time ago for reasons that are now irrelevant. I have never had children. I know a lot of people say that at our age you only really need to see a doctor after a year or more of trying, but there are a few considerations in our case that make me wonder if I should talk to someone sooner.
First: in three out of the past 10 months I have had several of the early warning signs of pregnancy. The most obvious and striking is massive fatigue starting about a week after ovulation. I'm talking "fall asleep for 11 hours every night and still feel wiped and foggy all day" levels of fatigue. I've read that for first pregnancies you shouldn't feel anything really for the first few weeks, but I have nevertheless felt this. I also felt some of the other symptoms (in particular breast soreness and lots of peeing, especially at night) but those are a bit less obvious so I've discounted them somewhat. Still, it's really hard to ignore the fatigue, because it's so dramatically outside the range of normal for me. All three of those times were followed by longer-than-normal periods (6 days rather than 4) with lots of cramping. So I tend to think that those were "almost" pregnancies that just failed to implant. I know that chemical pregnancies exist, and aren't uncommon, but three in 10 months seems really high - if that's what they were. And maybe a sign of something wrong?
Second: After the first chemical pregnancy (if that's what it was), I completely stopped ovulating for three months. I was testing it with multiple different tests multiple times a day and... nothing. We had sex at around the right time regardless but nothing happened. Then, after three months, I started ovulating again. That doesn't seem like a good sign, does it?
For what it's worth, my periods have always been pretty regular, even during this "no ovulating" phase. 26-27 days almost always: in the past year I had one at 21 days (after I was quite sick for a week) and one at 32 but other than that it's always been 26-27 days. And the period has always come 13 to 14 days after the actual ovulation, except for the one time I was sick and my phase was 21 days.
So... is this worth seeing my GP about, or should we just hold tight and keep trying? It's been an emotional rollercoaster and since I'm nearing the age of 35 I feel like if there IS something wrong I want to find out sooner than later. But if all that would happen is that I go to the doctor and they tell me to wait, I don't see a reason to put myself through that (or spend the money on it).
Best answer: Oh, and if you're afraid that your doctor will blow you off, you should find a new doctor.
posted by decathecting at 5:09 PM on October 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by decathecting at 5:09 PM on October 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Go see your GP. If they tell you to just wait it out (which I don't think will happen; my guess is at the least, they'll run some tests), then no big, but if you DO wait and there turns out to be something amiss, you will kick yourself for not going in sooner and getting the ball rolling on any fertility treatments. Ten month is pretty darn close to a year as it is. Good luck!
posted by Countess Sandwich at 5:13 PM on October 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Countess Sandwich at 5:13 PM on October 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
I'd say 10 months is a reasonable period of time to see a doctor in this situation. I'm not from the US, so I dunno what it costs, but yeah, go, at least to get yourself in the system and see how long/how much/when/why/how things happen from here.
Also, and this is problematic advice I accept: I suspect fertility is like when they ask about alcohol units a week. If you say 10 months, doctors may assume 8. If you want a test, maybe nudge up a few months...
posted by Hartster at 5:14 PM on October 17, 2011
Also, and this is problematic advice I accept: I suspect fertility is like when they ask about alcohol units a week. If you say 10 months, doctors may assume 8. If you want a test, maybe nudge up a few months...
posted by Hartster at 5:14 PM on October 17, 2011
Definitely see a doctor. Supposedly the rule of thumb is 12 months if you're under 35 and 6 months if you're over 35. You're so close to 35 (and the 12 month mark), I'd say just go for it. What are you waiting for?
more reading material:
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a3972995/how_long_were_you_ttc_before_doctor_would_help
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a29664209/when_to_see_doctor_for_testing
posted by n'muakolo at 5:16 PM on October 17, 2011
more reading material:
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a3972995/how_long_were_you_ttc_before_doctor_would_help
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a29664209/when_to_see_doctor_for_testing
posted by n'muakolo at 5:16 PM on October 17, 2011
I went to see my OB/GYN before I started trying. I can think of no reason why you shouldn't see yours. If you real question is "when should I see a specialist", then answer is either 1) as soon as your OB/GYN tells you to or 2) as soon as you're stressed out enough to ask the question (and get the referral if necessary). I mean, being stressed out about this isn't likely to help you get pregnant, so getting answers form a doc can only be a good thing in the long run. Good luck!!
posted by dpx.mfx at 5:30 PM on October 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by dpx.mfx at 5:30 PM on October 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Yes, for sure you need to see your doctor. Your symptoms could be related to something else you entirely, no?
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 5:31 PM on October 17, 2011
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 5:31 PM on October 17, 2011
I would encourage your husband to get tested again as well. There's a lot that can affect a male. You write: "[...] he is fertile because he has had his sperm tested a long time ago." That's a bit illogical.
If I was trying to reproduce there would be a lot of changes I would make in my daily life (not typing this answer on a Mac Book Pro on my lap being one of them).
Seriously, like others have stated you have nothing to lose by seeing a doctor. Neither does your husband.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:47 PM on October 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
If I was trying to reproduce there would be a lot of changes I would make in my daily life (not typing this answer on a Mac Book Pro on my lap being one of them).
Seriously, like others have stated you have nothing to lose by seeing a doctor. Neither does your husband.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:47 PM on October 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Eh... I disagree with the "after a year" advice - 6 months is long enough, I think, for a first pregnancy in mid-30s. At the very least get a comprehensive work-up before continuing to try.
And yeah - if there is a problem somewhere along the way, make sure your husband gets retested. Things change, you know?
Good luck!
posted by hms71 at 5:50 PM on October 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
And yeah - if there is a problem somewhere along the way, make sure your husband gets retested. Things change, you know?
Good luck!
posted by hms71 at 5:50 PM on October 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
I think you should see a doctor. You can always say you've been trying for a year! It's only 2 more months.
posted by katypickle at 6:00 PM on October 17, 2011
posted by katypickle at 6:00 PM on October 17, 2011
You want to see a reproductive endocrinologist, a doctor who specializes in fertility. The advice on timing that n'muakolo gives is standard, but I think, given your situation, a visit now would not be seen as acting too soon. I think an evaluation from a fertility doctor combined with knowing your treatment options, if there was an issue, will relieve some of the anxiety for you and your husband. Best of luck to you.
posted by ohohcyte at 6:07 PM on October 17, 2011
posted by ohohcyte at 6:07 PM on October 17, 2011
Best answer: I think you should definitely see a doctor. If what you are worried about is the "hugeness" of fertility assistance, be reassured that long before anyone even suggests things like IVF, there are all sorts of small things that can make dramatic changes. The doctor will probably test your hormone levels, and you might need to take medication to increase, decrease, or stabilise certain hormones. No big deal.
posted by lollusc at 6:08 PM on October 17, 2011
posted by lollusc at 6:08 PM on October 17, 2011
Best answer: It would be worth seeing a doctor at this point. I knew at about the 6 month mark that something wasn't right - turns out that we had multiple issues. I had completely blocked fallopian tubes and we were dealing with male factor issues as well. I agree that the waiting one year part, especially in your 30s, is just cruel. Having said that, I would skip the OB/GYN. I went that route first and was prescribed Clomid which did me no good (because, duh, I had blocked tubes) and I lost 6 months.
Ask around for a recommendation for a good fertility specialist, particularly one that doesn't require you to go through lots of other trials with other doctors. Time, unfortunately, is not on your side.
posted by Leezie at 6:11 PM on October 17, 2011
Ask around for a recommendation for a good fertility specialist, particularly one that doesn't require you to go through lots of other trials with other doctors. Time, unfortunately, is not on your side.
posted by Leezie at 6:11 PM on October 17, 2011
Response by poster: Thank you everyone. I am getting the message. :) It's helpful to hear this repeated many times from many people because I normally find it very hard to know when seeing a doctor is appropriate: I grew up in a family without health insurance or much money, where our motto was "you don't go to the doctor unless you are obviously dying, and even then, only go if you're pretty sure they can help you." Now I have decent health insurance, and know intellectually that this isn't a great strategy, but still emotionally can't help but feel I'm being a hypochondriac anytime I contemplate seeing a doctor for anything. I also don't have a good sense of when I should go. I think I got a bit hung up on the "wait a year" advice. Many points here are very good.
And thank you, too, for the sympathy. This really sucks - I'm surprised how much it distresses me. And my husband and I don't have a lot of close friends here we can talk to about it so just hearing from all you all is a big help.
posted by fluffysocksarenice at 6:12 PM on October 17, 2011
And thank you, too, for the sympathy. This really sucks - I'm surprised how much it distresses me. And my husband and I don't have a lot of close friends here we can talk to about it so just hearing from all you all is a big help.
posted by fluffysocksarenice at 6:12 PM on October 17, 2011
I agree that you should get a referral to a specialist. There are a lot of tests that can be done right away, and are often covered by insurance.
posted by bq at 6:13 PM on October 17, 2011
posted by bq at 6:13 PM on October 17, 2011
By the way, my cycle was never so messed up as when I was trying to conceive. I don't want to dismiss your theory about chemical pregnancy, but if you are stressing out about this, it seems that your symptoms might easily be psychosomatic. Not that that makes them easier to deal with.
posted by bq at 6:14 PM on October 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by bq at 6:14 PM on October 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Nthing not to hesitate, and adding that I had pregnancy symptoms very early on, as did my mom. Which isn't to say you have been, but just to say it is possible. I'm sure there are other explanations for your symptoms, as well, and your doc can discuss everything with you.
posted by moira at 6:21 PM on October 17, 2011
posted by moira at 6:21 PM on October 17, 2011
Assuming you're in the U.S., it may take a while for you to be able to find a specialist who takes your insurance and is taking patients - it's not too soon to start!
posted by rtha at 6:29 PM on October 17, 2011
posted by rtha at 6:29 PM on October 17, 2011
Best answer: Nthing see a doctor, and to try to get to a reproductive endocrinologist as quickly as possible rather than fooling around.
Having 3 possible early miscarriages in 10 months would not be that unusual for your age, although it's unclear whether what you had were miscarriages. (ref: Medscape "Process of Decision Making in Infertility: Age")
After 10 months of trying if you had normal fertility you would have a cumulative probability of 89% of being pregnant already. (ref: "eMedicine, Assisted Reproduction Technology: Overview").
May I recommend you join the altdotlife forums about infertility and trying to conceive - I got the recommendation here and find the forums extremely useful.
posted by treehorn+bunny at 6:29 PM on October 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Having 3 possible early miscarriages in 10 months would not be that unusual for your age, although it's unclear whether what you had were miscarriages. (ref: Medscape "Process of Decision Making in Infertility: Age")
After 10 months of trying if you had normal fertility you would have a cumulative probability of 89% of being pregnant already. (ref: "eMedicine, Assisted Reproduction Technology: Overview").
May I recommend you join the altdotlife forums about infertility and trying to conceive - I got the recommendation here and find the forums extremely useful.
posted by treehorn+bunny at 6:29 PM on October 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
on re-reading, I take back my reference about the miscarriages - I was thinking too quickly and what I said is statistically inaccurate. The actual statistic is an approximately 20% miscarriage rate in women ages 30-34. So if you had been pregnant 10 times and had 2 or 3 miscarriages, at that age, it would not be unusual, but since that is not your situation, please disregard what I said.
posted by treehorn+bunny at 6:33 PM on October 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by treehorn+bunny at 6:33 PM on October 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Also, forgot to mention that you might want to check out Resolve. They have lots of resources and information.
posted by Leezie at 6:46 PM on October 17, 2011
posted by Leezie at 6:46 PM on October 17, 2011
Like everyone has said, absolutely, see your doctor. I do not think that there is necessarily any problem, but if there is, getting started now with your doctor is better than getting started later. A couple of other random asides:
*The fact that your husband had his sperm tested once upon time does not necessarily mean that all is well now - that can change.
*Are you taking early pregnancy tests? That might give you more insight into whether or not you're actually getting pregnant. I bought cheapie tests on Amazon (I think Wondfo brand is great if they're available now, the brands tend to change) and started testing 7 days after ovulation, and was able to see a positive at 10 days past ovulation. Or, if you start seeing your doctor, he or she could order a blood pregnancy test to determine if you're actually getting pregnant.
posted by robinpME at 7:06 PM on October 17, 2011
*The fact that your husband had his sperm tested once upon time does not necessarily mean that all is well now - that can change.
*Are you taking early pregnancy tests? That might give you more insight into whether or not you're actually getting pregnant. I bought cheapie tests on Amazon (I think Wondfo brand is great if they're available now, the brands tend to change) and started testing 7 days after ovulation, and was able to see a positive at 10 days past ovulation. Or, if you start seeing your doctor, he or she could order a blood pregnancy test to determine if you're actually getting pregnant.
posted by robinpME at 7:06 PM on October 17, 2011
Response by poster: It simply didn't occur to me to take early pregnancy tests the first two possibly-chemical-pregnancy times. For the third, I tried on the day before I expected my period to be due (in order to maximize my chances for a positive), but the little mechanical reader thing for the test was broken. I bought a new one but the next day had my period so I never used it.
And, yeah, good point about my husband. By "a long time ago" I meant two years, so it's not like it was when he was in college or something at the time - but it's still a fair point. We will keep it in mind.
I have just made an appointment with my OB/GYN. I need a recommendation to see a specialist but I'll see if I can get one from her. In any case it will be good to talk to somebody who is knowledgeable about this.
posted by fluffysocksarenice at 7:18 PM on October 17, 2011
And, yeah, good point about my husband. By "a long time ago" I meant two years, so it's not like it was when he was in college or something at the time - but it's still a fair point. We will keep it in mind.
I have just made an appointment with my OB/GYN. I need a recommendation to see a specialist but I'll see if I can get one from her. In any case it will be good to talk to somebody who is knowledgeable about this.
posted by fluffysocksarenice at 7:18 PM on October 17, 2011
Best answer: Just a couple of data points: I had a "preconception" appointment with my regular OB after we'd been trying for about 4 months. I was charting and we were having well-timed sex. She told me to come back after 6 months of well-timed sex if we weren't pregnant. The year thing is fine if you're just doing it whenever, but if you've been monitoring your cycle and having intercourse at the right time (and frequently at that time), 6 months is more than enough.
Second, starting with your regular OB is just fine -- at the very least, there may be tests she can order now, while you wait for an appointment/referral to an RE.
I'll also second altdotlife -- the forums there are extremely helpful and supportive.
And finally, the TTC process can be incredibly stressful. INCREDIBLY. So be sure to take care of yourself. Consider acupuncture, yoga, meditation...all of which will have a positive effect on your mental state and could have a positive effect on your fertility.
Good luck!
posted by devinemissk at 7:33 PM on October 17, 2011
Second, starting with your regular OB is just fine -- at the very least, there may be tests she can order now, while you wait for an appointment/referral to an RE.
I'll also second altdotlife -- the forums there are extremely helpful and supportive.
And finally, the TTC process can be incredibly stressful. INCREDIBLY. So be sure to take care of yourself. Consider acupuncture, yoga, meditation...all of which will have a positive effect on your mental state and could have a positive effect on your fertility.
Good luck!
posted by devinemissk at 7:33 PM on October 17, 2011
I agree with everyone else that seeing your doctor seems like a good option at this point. I would also add that you might really benefit from the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility.* This book teaches you how to chart your body's cues so you can tell, naturally, when (or if!) you are ovulating every month. As you well know, it is very possible to have your period without ovulating, and there are also many women who ovulate much later or earlier than 14 days into their cycle, so if you were testing around the halfway mark and were an early or late ovulator, it wouldn't show up on tests.
Obviously YMMV, but when I was trying to conceive this book was a godsend. I loved being so in tune with my body, and having a chart of my body's ovulation patterns made it so much easier to know when to time sex. (And we conceived my 2nd month of charting, huzzah.)
Even if you do see a doctor--and I think you should!--it wouldn't hurt to get this book and start tracking your fertility, so when you do get in to see a doc you can bring as much info as possible.
*[Note that this book also teaches "natural birth control" based on avoiding intercourse when you are ovulating, but it is NOT the pseudo-science of the Rhythm Method. They're often confused but not related!]
posted by Bella Sebastian at 7:50 PM on October 17, 2011
Obviously YMMV, but when I was trying to conceive this book was a godsend. I loved being so in tune with my body, and having a chart of my body's ovulation patterns made it so much easier to know when to time sex. (And we conceived my 2nd month of charting, huzzah.)
Even if you do see a doctor--and I think you should!--it wouldn't hurt to get this book and start tracking your fertility, so when you do get in to see a doc you can bring as much info as possible.
*[Note that this book also teaches "natural birth control" based on avoiding intercourse when you are ovulating, but it is NOT the pseudo-science of the Rhythm Method. They're often confused but not related!]
posted by Bella Sebastian at 7:50 PM on October 17, 2011
2nding Taking Charge of Your Fertility!
posted by rabbitrabbit at 8:18 PM on October 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by rabbitrabbit at 8:18 PM on October 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
You can also buy ovulation prediction kits for about $40, that will help you know more precisely if & when you are ovulating. But yes, see a doctor - s/he will examine you for any physical issues, test you for hormonal issues, and help you make a plan. All of which will hopefully bring you some peace of mind.
posted by judith at 8:36 PM on October 17, 2011
posted by judith at 8:36 PM on October 17, 2011
If you want to start in a more "natural" place, consider talking to a home birth midwife or naturopath (or a combination of the two!) even if you aren't interested in a home birth. Both can give you some reccomendations to increase your fertility (and general health), or maybe some herbs/tea/other supplements if it works or your particular situation. Many naturopaths and midwives will work in tandem with your fertility specialist/OB Gyn. Acupuncture may be something else to look into.
posted by LyndsayMW at 9:28 PM on October 17, 2011
posted by LyndsayMW at 9:28 PM on October 17, 2011
It's been mentioned and seconded already, but yes, Taking charge of your fertility is a must-read if you are trying to conceive. It tells you a lot of what you need to know of how everything works in the fertility process and gives you a frame of reference for understanding what you'll hear from a doctor. Also yes, see a doctor, preferably an ObGyn and skip the GP if you can. And get your thyroid tested too, even if your dr doesnt suggest it. Hypothyroidism caused me two miscarriages that could have been prevented with a simple pill-a-day treatment.
posted by CrazyLemonade at 10:17 PM on October 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by CrazyLemonade at 10:17 PM on October 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
you can get ovulation prediction kits for way less than $40. Look for the bulk tests available on Amazon and you can also get a combo pack that comes with a bundle of pregnancy tests (saves tons of money over buying one at a time from the pharmacy, and saves you agonizing over whether to use one or not).
posted by treehorn+bunny at 11:08 PM on October 17, 2011
posted by treehorn+bunny at 11:08 PM on October 17, 2011
It's helpful to hear this repeated many times from many people because I normally find it very hard to know when seeing a doctor is appropriate: I grew up in a family without health insurance or much money, where our motto was "you don't go to the doctor unless you are obviously dying, and even then, only go if you're pretty sure they can help you." Now I have decent health insurance, and know intellectually that this isn't a great strategy, but still emotionally can't help but feel I'm being a hypochondriac anytime I contemplate seeing a doctor for anything. I also don't have a good sense of when I should go.
Ok. I was wondering why you were so hesitant to go at this point. As another data point, I had a preconception visit with my regular OB and my high risk OB (I knew I would be high risk) a month or two before I started trying.
posted by n'muakolo at 9:05 AM on October 18, 2011
Ok. I was wondering why you were so hesitant to go at this point. As another data point, I had a preconception visit with my regular OB and my high risk OB (I knew I would be high risk) a month or two before I started trying.
posted by n'muakolo at 9:05 AM on October 18, 2011
Best answer: Hi! I have 2 children + 4 early miscarriages; my first kid took me 18 months to conceive, my second took me a year. I am in the US, and we didn't end up needing assistive techniques to conceive, but it was a dark and crappy time. I have so many reams of advice and experience about negotiating the US insurance system and also this sucky emotional landscape that it would fill a book!
First of all, many health insurance plans don't cover fertility treatments, or if they do, they have a cap. That cap is usually somewhere between $5K and $15K, LIFETIME. If this is the case with your plan, you really, really, REALLY want all your initial workup stuff to be done by your OB, or anyway AN OB, rather than a reproductive endocrinologist, because then it will be easier to bill as standard well-woman stuff rather than infertility stuff.
However, if your instincts are correct -- and they certainly might be -- then you are, in a way, lucky. Because you don't have infertility; you have Recurrent Pregnancy Loss. That is typically covered under maternity / OB care, which is usually uncapped. When you talk to your OB, tell him or her "I had three cycles that were so unusual for me that I feel fairly strongly that they were chemical pregnancies, though I didn't test to confirm." Even if that ends up not being the case, it will make it more likely that your initial workup will fall under OB care and not count towards your IF cap.
If you're not already charting, start now -- and I mean today. I did the whole Fertility Awareness thing PLUS ovulation predictor kits PLUS the little microscope thing, just to have firm evidence that I actually was ovulating. In the end, my issue was that I was hypothyroid; once my TSH got under 3, I conceived my son within weeks.
Memail me if you want to know more or even just bitch. This is a super-crappy situation and you deserve to feel however you feel about it.
posted by KathrynT at 9:57 AM on October 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
First of all, many health insurance plans don't cover fertility treatments, or if they do, they have a cap. That cap is usually somewhere between $5K and $15K, LIFETIME. If this is the case with your plan, you really, really, REALLY want all your initial workup stuff to be done by your OB, or anyway AN OB, rather than a reproductive endocrinologist, because then it will be easier to bill as standard well-woman stuff rather than infertility stuff.
However, if your instincts are correct -- and they certainly might be -- then you are, in a way, lucky. Because you don't have infertility; you have Recurrent Pregnancy Loss. That is typically covered under maternity / OB care, which is usually uncapped. When you talk to your OB, tell him or her "I had three cycles that were so unusual for me that I feel fairly strongly that they were chemical pregnancies, though I didn't test to confirm." Even if that ends up not being the case, it will make it more likely that your initial workup will fall under OB care and not count towards your IF cap.
If you're not already charting, start now -- and I mean today. I did the whole Fertility Awareness thing PLUS ovulation predictor kits PLUS the little microscope thing, just to have firm evidence that I actually was ovulating. In the end, my issue was that I was hypothyroid; once my TSH got under 3, I conceived my son within weeks.
Memail me if you want to know more or even just bitch. This is a super-crappy situation and you deserve to feel however you feel about it.
posted by KathrynT at 9:57 AM on October 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
Absolutely go see your doctor. The "chemical pregnancies" could also be a sign of some other reproductive wonkiness such as ovarian cysts, which would be important to know about when trying to conceive. (As well as just good to know in general.)
I assume you're charting your cycle, but if not, it's really handy to know when you're most fertile. I can always tell when I'm ovulating based on the consistency of cervical mucus, but it's most accurate if you chart your basal (first thing in the morning) temps as well.
Best of luck and be sure to keep us posted on how everything turns out!
posted by sonika at 10:01 AM on October 18, 2011
I assume you're charting your cycle, but if not, it's really handy to know when you're most fertile. I can always tell when I'm ovulating based on the consistency of cervical mucus, but it's most accurate if you chart your basal (first thing in the morning) temps as well.
Best of luck and be sure to keep us posted on how everything turns out!
posted by sonika at 10:01 AM on October 18, 2011
Response by poster: Thanks again to everyone. I marked as "Best" those answers that gave me something new to think about, or helped the most emotionally. Many of the others were great too (I hate choosing "best answers", it feels like a popularity contest) but I may not have marked them because I had already been aware of the information in them.
I also really appreciate the sympathy and those people who MeMailed me. I feel way better today about the whole thing, and it's good knowing we're going to have it checked out (and that I am totally validated in getting a new doctor if this one laughs at me and calls me a hypochondriac, as I always secretly fear they will!).
For the benefit of future people with similar worries, I plan to update with details - either if I at some point succeed in getting pregnant, or if (sadness) I don't, what we learned about what was going wrong.
posted by fluffysocksarenice at 7:13 PM on October 18, 2011
I also really appreciate the sympathy and those people who MeMailed me. I feel way better today about the whole thing, and it's good knowing we're going to have it checked out (and that I am totally validated in getting a new doctor if this one laughs at me and calls me a hypochondriac, as I always secretly fear they will!).
For the benefit of future people with similar worries, I plan to update with details - either if I at some point succeed in getting pregnant, or if (sadness) I don't, what we learned about what was going wrong.
posted by fluffysocksarenice at 7:13 PM on October 18, 2011
Response by poster: Just in case anybody checks this in the future, I wanted to post a follow-up. We did end up seeing a specialist, and apparently my hormone levels were wonky (plus there were a few more minor problems). A couple of rounds of IUI with hormone supplementation, and we successfully conceived!
I just had my 20 week ultrasound and we are on track for a healthy girl. I'm very, very glad I listened to you all and got it checked out when I did. Thanks so much.
posted by fluffysocksarenice at 6:16 AM on July 29, 2012 [10 favorites]
I just had my 20 week ultrasound and we are on track for a healthy girl. I'm very, very glad I listened to you all and got it checked out when I did. Thanks so much.
posted by fluffysocksarenice at 6:16 AM on July 29, 2012 [10 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by decathecting at 5:09 PM on October 17, 2011 [1 favorite]