16080 Ask MetaFilter answers by jessamyn (displaying 1 through 50)

I was lucky to earn enough of money and in a 70s style rock blow out managed to piss it away on over the top things, along with drugs and alcohol. I have quit and luckily did not have a hard time, but blew my money and have to stay with my parents. They're mortified and have a somewhat (date in my opinion) view on alcohol abuse. Unfortunately while I get back on my feet I need to rely on them for sustenance and in doing so I'm worried the stress they're putting on me is causing me to actually want to say screw it, I guess I can't change on my own why try.
comment posted at 8:33 PM on Jul-22-19


Unfortunately, I became a member of this club several years ago. I now want to apply for Social Security widow’s benefits (not SSI disability), but I’m having trouble with a question about living arrangements.
comment posted at 10:45 AM on Jul-19-19


Might anyone recommend any particular alternatives to Uber in London?
comment posted at 8:24 AM on Jul-19-19


Boxes and boxes of old photos and family ephemera have defaulted to me. I've culled what can be/should be saved. What's left are duplicates, pictures of total strangers, random landscapes, and/or otherwise non-needed items. I cannot simply put it all out in the trash. I don't have any place to burn anything.
comment posted at 2:52 PM on Jul-18-19


When you receive an email with a link in it, what is your process for determining if it's safe to click on? I'm familiar with basic security policies like "don't click on links from senders you don't know" but what, if anything, should or could be done beyond that?
comment posted at 2:19 PM on Jul-17-19


A loved one has been coughing a lot lately, and it sounds like there could be something serious going on. I brought it up to her; she informed me that she is also concerned and wants to get her lungs checked out, but has no clue what to say to her doctor since she's told him she doesn't smoke and doesn't want to disclose this information for various reasons. Could my fellow MeFites come up with a good way for her to phrase things to her doc so that she feels more comfortable? (More details inside)
comment posted at 7:21 AM on Jul-17-19


This was/still is me, now I'm back for another question regarding my brother this time.
comment posted at 5:20 PM on Jul-16-19


I’m at the beginning of a year that’s going to involve LOTS of time by myself, with few responsibilities (but juuuusst enough to make getting a job impractical). I’m already sliding into a place where I’m spending lots of time on my phone and making very slow progress on things like unpacking my new apartment. Help me save myself from myself.
comment posted at 7:49 AM on Jul-17-19


I've realized that my favorite comedians happen to be men -- and a pretty homogeneous group at that -- so I want to know about some other funny folks to balance that out!
comment posted at 9:59 AM on Jul-16-19


My mom needs to eat more vegetables but is intimidated by most of them. I’m looking for the most delicious, “see, [vegetable] isn’t scary!” recipes.
comment posted at 7:27 PM on Jul-15-19


I've discovered there's a particular type of story I'm drawn to and would like to find more books like this, but it's quite specific.
comment posted at 7:24 AM on Jul-15-19
comment posted at 7:27 AM on Jul-15-19


Last week, I started attending AA meetings. Next week, I start seeing a counselor. About two months ago, I started dating a woman (I'm a cishet man) who lives about an hour away. I have not told her about my drinking problems. She's driving here for an overnight visit later today. Please help me sort through my thoughts about telling her.
comment posted at 7:00 PM on Jul-14-19


My father, who lives with us (me, husband, two adult daughters), has Parkinson's, which has reached the early part of Stage 4. No dementia, just mobility problems, but those are growing. He regularly needs help shifting between sitting and standing, or help to go from standing to lying down. We'd like some kind of device he could use to notify us, instead of yelling for whoever's closest right now.
comment posted at 5:52 PM on Jul-10-19


My two year old watches videos each night in the bathtub and he’s on a timpani and piano kick. All of the featured solo artists that pop up for us are white and male - I’d like to create a playlist featuring more diverse orchestra solos or recitals and need your help! Any instrument welcome - we tried oboe tonight.
comment posted at 6:29 PM on Jul-10-19


We are just starting to think about our wedding, and have decided to do a destination wedding. Please tell me about the best destination weddings you've been to (location included if you have it) and what was memorable about it.
comment posted at 4:49 PM on Jul-10-19


Was just placed in a temp-to-hire job via a staffing agency. Three days in and I know this is not the job for me. How do I handle this without burning a bridge (if that is even possible)?
comment posted at 11:14 AM on Jul-10-19
comment posted at 1:01 PM on Jul-11-19


What causes a washcloth or towel to smell "sour" after being wet and dried out?
comment posted at 7:45 AM on Jul-10-19


I'm working on my will using a simple form I found online which is acceptable to my state. It's pretty straightforward until the end. YANML.
comment posted at 8:58 AM on Jul-10-19


My bank allows me to add Payable on Death beneficiaries to my account that supposedly bypass probate when I die. Is there any downside to this?
comment posted at 5:12 PM on Jul-9-19


As a family activity while with the grandparents, we took a family photo, made it into a puzzle, constructed the puzzle, and want to glue it and frame it! Unfortunately, we solved the puzzle right on the dining room table, and we don't want to glue the puzzle to the table. How do we transfer the puzzle onto something else, so we can glue it?
comment posted at 5:13 PM on Jul-9-19


After many years of not being happy in my relationship—neither of us being happy, as we’ve been exploring in couples therapy—I’m ready to finally end it. I have set a deadline for myself to have the talk this week. We live together, and are late 30s/early 40s, and it's been 7 years. No kids. I need help in the pre-move out, particularly for how to deal with the "landlord," which means my relatives (but not me in any way).
comment posted at 6:23 AM on Jul-9-19


I wish she had asked me first. Should I tell her that?
comment posted at 11:35 AM on Jul-8-19


I’ve got a book I’d like to give to a cousin who can only do audiobooks, not print or ebooks. There isn’t an audiobook of this title, so I’m going to record it myself. What’s the best way for me to do this with the tools I already have? Looking for tips on the recording itself and the formatting into an audiobook file.
comment posted at 12:18 PM on Jul-6-19


I've accumulated several pairs of unwanted old eyeglasses, after a torrid fling with several of those cheap online eyeglass sites. I don't think they're recyclable and the old standby "donate for people in need" doesn't seem to be a thing anymore. What should I do with them?
comment posted at 9:27 AM on Jul-4-19


My son was just given a PS3 console. It came with a power cord, a cable connector, and nothing else. I am not a gamer and need some advice on how to make this a functional object, preferably in an inexpensive way.
comment posted at 7:13 AM on Jul-4-19


Can anyone help me to share a google doc with someone via e-mail?
comment posted at 8:10 AM on Jul-3-19


How do you express anger in a healthy way? I don’t always have time to write in my journal, and assertiveness isn’t always appropriate eg if I’m angry at myself, so what else can I do? Please don’t suggest therapy - that is not an option I’m willing to consider- thanks.
comment posted at 5:17 PM on Jul-2-19


So I'm living in Japan as a teacher. Got here a few months ago. And every time I get out of the shower, I'm rubbing my eyes and sneezing for a solid hour. It also happens when I go to local hotels so it's not just at home. I've had seasonal allergies before but not to water. Thoughts?
comment posted at 3:41 PM on Jul-1-19


I was very shy and isolated while going to my UK university between 1987 and 1991 and while I am sure I would have loved the films at the film society I never joined as I'd have felt too self-conscious trying to attend alone. My tastes as still quite similar to the ones I had as a student though, and with streaming etc there's still the chance to see a lot of these films. Since "it's never too late to have a happy childhood" as they say I was thinking of having a little at-home season of these films. If you were at college or Uni at around that time (give or take a few years) I'd love to know what films you enjoyed there, either ones which were contemporary or older classics they reshowed. As a hint, I remember a lot of student bedrooms at the place I studied (Stirling University in Scotland) had either Betty Blue or Angel Heart posters in that era, a contemporary film I enjoyed a lot on a weekend home during term was Baghdad Cafe, and an older one I liked from TV was Harold and Maude. Just out of interest, please state which country you were studying in at the time.
comment posted at 12:12 PM on Jul-1-19


I was not raised to do any kind of cosmetic foot care of any kind. I want to wear sandals. I have questions.
comment posted at 3:15 PM on Jul-1-19


I occasionally get forwarded emails from a friend, but distrust the source, so delete them without opening. Today I got one that won't delete. It disappears for a couple of seconds, then pops back into the inbox despite being unopened. Other emails will delete. How can I get rid of this? I have already asked my friend to not forward these.
comment posted at 8:00 AM on Jul-1-19


I just told this story to a friend, and I cannot for the life of me find it online:
There's a great article from a long time ago about the essential impossibility of algorithmic child-safety-fication of communication in online communities...

comment posted at 10:08 AM on Jun-28-19


Several months ago I posted a (very long winded) question about whether or not my boyfriend was an alcoholic, and I received many thoughtful answers from kind strangers. With these comments in mind and through therapy, I decided to end the relationship. At first I felt relieved, but for the most part, I have spent the following months extremely depressed, lonely, and even missing him. We tried to stay friends, which led to the same type of behavior from him that made me want to end the relationship - weird late night texts and drunk phone calls. I finally blocked him on social media, because seeing him make his life seem great to everyone else just ended up making me feel even more isolated, sad, and angry. De-friending him from Facebook led to another series of hurtful texts, in which he cursed at me and tried to make me feel guilty. He called me a bad person and brought up his mom’s passing, etc. I called him the morning after this one particular series of horrible texts; actually told him to get his shit together or he would be dead in 5 years. He called me later that day to tell me he has contacts in AA and he was going to “get himself right”. The pain in my voice and that comment really got to him he said, and this time truly felt different. For the first time, I really believed him and trusted that he was going to at least try to get better. Things shortly took a turn (more details inside) and now I don’t know how to help; if I should try to help; or if in fact I am part of the problem.
comment posted at 11:57 AM on Jun-27-19


I was asked some questions today by journalist from a media org, something of a government broadcaster, and I'm not sure if I handled it correctly, or if there even was a way to answer them properly. It seems odd to me that a reputable media org would ask questions that are so obviously designed to "catch someone out" and are impossible to answer properly in this context, for an article they're publishing today. Can anyone offer any advice on what to do if I'm ever asked these sorts of questions again?
comment posted at 4:41 PM on Jun-26-19


A young internet friend suddenly disappeared. There followed within a few days an email from his aunt, claiming this 19 year old was "no longer his own guardian". What can I do to help?
comment posted at 9:22 AM on Jun-26-19


What is your favorite Mary Oliver poem that is not "Wild Geese"?
comment posted at 8:55 AM on Jun-26-19


Does anyone have suggestions for a secure email provider that does NOT require a phone number to create an account—and is extremely user-friendly to set up and use? No complicated work-arounds—just a straight-forward signup and begin using process for people who are not tech savvy and who don’t have a phone. Thanks!
comment posted at 8:09 AM on Jun-25-19


Can you suggest 1-3 page excerpts from novels, essays, or books that would be compelling when read aloud?
comment posted at 12:33 PM on Jun-24-19


I started reading online about the immunotherapy cancer drug about to be given to my close family member. Now, instead of being hopeful for them, the list of deadly side effects has me terrified. Metafilter, can you help me think about the risk/benefit appropriately here? Details inside.
comment posted at 12:41 PM on Jun-24-19


There is a new housing development being built on my way to work. Once every other week or so, as I drive by, I see a cement mixer backed up to the front door of one of the semi-finished houses, pouring concrete into the house. I would like to know why you would need to pour additional concrete after you've already built most of a house on top of the foundation. I see it often enough in this subdivision that I assume it's part of the procedure for all of the houses.
comment posted at 8:34 PM on Jun-21-19


Soaking in 10% bleach solution is a very common recommendation for sanitizing silicone sex toys, but silicone menstrual cup manufacturers all seem to say not to use bleach to clean them. What's the deal - does 10% bleach solution damage silicone or not? I'm hoping someone with a materials science background can shed light on this.
comment posted at 7:28 PM on Jun-21-19


As part of an exhibition in a library, we would like to provide a way for visitors to quickly and easily access a manually curated list of the books the library holds on a particular topic. Ideally we would save the permalinks to each of about 10 holdings to a list in an online service and then provide a QR code going to that list. What service or app should I be looking at for this?
comment posted at 7:54 PM on Jun-18-19


I'm looking for summer dessert ideas that are elegant in their simplicity. Something a bit unexpected, maybe just a smidge on the fancy side – but not too fussy or overdone. (This is for an upcoming potluck.)
comment posted at 5:23 PM on Jun-17-19


Can’t believe I’m asking this, but I haven’t been able to find an answer. I’m relatively new to eating eggs, didn’t touch them for pretty much my whole life. Decided to make scrambled eggs this morning, grabbed an egg, and cracked it on the side of a bowl. However, it didn’t crack, but instead got some impact damage. I opened it with my hands and the inside was a solid orange mass. Didn’t look at it too closely. So... what was up with this egg? Thought it might be frozen, but 2 others eggs were fine.
comment posted at 6:35 PM on Jun-16-19


How can I learn to be less set in my ways?
comment posted at 5:22 PM on Jun-15-19


I have a rocky relationship with my father and he's getting an MRI next week.
comment posted at 9:36 AM on Jun-15-19


I’m looking for a place where I can post a question, with some detail attached, and receive an answer pretty well guaranteed, either from an expert or the community. Happy to pay per question, though not so keen on subscriptions. Any ideas?
comment posted at 3:41 PM on Jun-14-19


I'm looking for recommendations of good picture libraries, preferably royalty-free, Creative Commons-type licencing such as unsplash.com. Also particularly interested in ones that tackle issues of diversity representation such as this one previously featured in an FPP that has images of trans and non-binary people, and this one that has beautiful pictures of black and brown people. Thanks!
comment posted at 9:15 PM on Jun-13-19


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