These questions have answers marked "best" by the asker.
My best friend's mother-in-law just passed away after a long illness. My SO and I had been supporting my friend over the last few months as she dealt with all that was going on, but she didn't tell us that her mother-in-law had died because she didn't want us to worry. I'm irrationally hurt about this and I don't know how to deal with it. Help! [more inside]
Sorrowfully, I have not hit it off with my roommates. They are being horrible to me and pushing me to leave. There has been some strong arming to make this early as possible, and I expect more to come. This rental company is not the easiest or most ethical either, so it hasn't been straightforward to get my money back (my deposit). I have nowhere to go, and this has made staying in my space an anxious proposition. I expect harrassment - legal harrassment is a possibility too. Despite this, I have done nothing wrong, and want to make the best of my space. It's one that's paid for for another three weeks, and that many people would benefit from. How can I turn this bad situation into something good? [more inside]
I'm finally in a place with more sunlight, including a deck. Yay! My cat will eat any plant, indoors and out. I've googled the hell outta this, and still I need help. [more inside]
I've been charging my 2018 Macbook Air at home using an Anker charger (Powerport II IQ) and a USB-A to USB-C cable (a 3-foot amazon basics one). The laptop has had a couple of strange behaviors lately (not adjusting screen brightness, running the fans constantly) and I'm wondering if charging with a lower-wattage charger than the OEM one is damaging it somehow. [more inside]
My dental insurance offers two free cleanings a year; but is that "free" like beer, or "free" like loss leader, and how do I keep it free? [more inside]
I get Method soap refills and put them into an existing foaming soap dispenser. The dispenser stops working way too soon. I'm willing to buy a good one, but last time I tried this, it stopped working pretty soon too. Can anyone recommend one that is dependable? [more inside]
My mom, who is not always a trustworthy source, has claimed that she and her mother reached menopause in their mid-30s. I know this is possible and am inclined to believe her, but she’s also a difficult person who is fond of both family lore and telling manipulative spooky stories to control me. Is there anything I can do to help me proactively forecast my fertility? [more inside]
I heard or read a quote in the last couple months (although the quote itself may very well be older than that) describing how being scientifically illiterate was totally acceptable among "educated," "intellectual" groups of people. It was an argument along the lines that saying at a dinner party that you didn't understand science -- particularly Physics, I think -- was totally acceptable in a way that saying you didn't understand literature was not. I think I remember a comparison between the Schroedinger equation or the Heisenberg Uncertainty principle and Shakespeare, although I could be misremembering the details. Does this ring a bell for anyone?
I was listening to an interview with the lead actress in a new (HBO?) movie coming out and I remembered that I wanted to watch it but all I can recall now is that the lead character is a lesbian in a prominent role in her society. She always and only wears black, mourning for the death of a previous lover. I remember the actress said that she had access to diaries and papers written by the actual historical person. Help me find it? Thank you!
I have had some intense shit go down in the past month and I would like to take a life affirming trip and am looking for travel suggestions. [more inside]
Here is my current hair. I'm going for a two-tone red and turquoise look that I can do to myself, and I need it to be one that doesn't require a lot of styling. Looking for ideas for looks / foolproof instructions on how to do them. Little more info inside. [more inside]
I have an email I need to send to a Sri Lankan business associate--what's appropriate to say after today's tragedy? [more inside]
I was texting my mother today having a very mundane conversation. I sent her a message that said "I like the clothes you gave me." She replied, "Oh I'm sorry to hear [stepdaughter] needs so many tests." When I asked her what she was talking about, she wrote back "you just texted me that [stepdaughter] is having a colonoscopy and an endoscopy." I had written absolutely nothing like that and never had in the history of her having her phone. There's nothing like showing up in my text history. I just can't fathom how that happened. Any ideas?
Film and television professionals of Ask me, I have a question regarding my job title. Help me please! [more inside]
While on a recent trip in Europe, we saw many retaining walls built with pre-cast concrete rings or boxes, which allowed for planting in the tops of the overlapping rings. Are there any US sources for these, or similar? [more inside]
I’ll have one full day in San Francisco next month. Normally I’d explore on foot, but I’ll be on crutches, and, well, hills. So what’s one place I could easily visit that would be accessible and memorable? [more inside]
If one were to have a Holi-inspired convivium, (people dance around and throw colored powder on each other and become rainbows,) where would they get the colors? [more inside]
I'm moving Monday, and my new landlord uses Quick Pay to accept rent payments. Cool! I don't need to write checks! But... how do I pay her? She says all I need is her email address. Does anyone here use this Quick Pay? What do I have to do to be able to pay her? Do I need a special account? [more inside]
Google is failing me. A mom was raving about a specific toddler shoe, and I absolutely cannot find or remember the brand! It's not any of the shoes in the numerous Asks either! [more inside]
I'm looking for some authors / historians who draw on the parallels of historical events to give context to today. [more inside]
For a year or so my clothes and bedding were getting small quarter inch tears in them. I finally found the source of the problem. The clothes were getting hung up on the torn grating inside the dryer. help me find a way tp patch this without having to replace the grating or take the back off the dryer. DIY, I don't want to hire someone to fix this.
I need some brown sandals that work for problem feet, which are also work appropriate for an employer that accepts fairly lax stabdards. I'm trying to decide between Olukai Upena and Chaco z cloud. Opinions wanted. [more inside]
I’m having trouble Googling this as all questions seemed to relate to passenger ships and not yachts. It looks like the Jones Act was amended to exempt yachts (assuming it was foreign flagged). I guess the question is, could I reasonably just go to Hawaii and dock at a temporary slip without a government ID? [more inside]
I'm trying to remember the name of a film I saw. It was probably made in the 1980s or 1990s. It's about two girls that meet in the countryside while biking. They strike up an unlikely friendship and then run away. [more inside]
My Lenovo 11.6 laptop is history (motherboard) after four years, so this is what I need: - Same size and SSD - Considerably more disk space than the 28G the Lenovo had, which after a while wouldn't even accommodate Windows updates - A battery you can easily remove without being a confident tech person! - Under $299 new - Preferably a fairly rapid processor (my other lappies have really slowed down over the years) That's all I can think of for now. Thanks. Some kind of major brand wanted.
A friend who espouses a “firstborn psychology” claims that 75% of the world’s population are firstborns and their negative personality traits have a major detrimental impact on society. I can find nothing to corroborate this. Are there such statistics on birth order? (As a firstborn who doesn’t fit the profile, I’m considered an anomaly, he says.) I’d appreciate anyone’s input on the subject before I attempt to refute his theory.
I need a large box to store a family heirloom. I'm having trouble finding a size and am considering a custom one. [more inside]
I’m looking for your favorite sources for awesome birthday/thank you/holiday cards — witty, quirky, smart, funny, and creative. Bonus points for indie sources. (Super extra bonus points for interesting paper choices.)
Contemplating taking the plunge and decorating my virgin skin. Specifics about what may be wise/doable inside. Involves detail and musical notation. [more inside]
I've got some irreplaceable family films from the 1960's and 1970's that I'd like to transfer to high-quality digital files -- or at least as high quality as one can reasonably get out of the 8 mm, Super 8, and Super 8 Ektasound formats. Looking for a reliable film transfer house in New York City that can do the job with minimal chance of loss or damage to the films. [more inside]
I ended a relationship with my partner two times. Both times it was because I felt a general disconnect, didn’t feel heard or understood (a good part of the time) and issues within our dynamic that, at the time, felt unfixable. [more inside]
I’m looking to buy a house in Seattle and a couple of lenders are aggressively competing for my business. A quick Google search tells me they stand to make quite a bit in commission. How can I as the borrower get the best deal and lowest closing costs?
Mrs. Larry David Syndrome claims that her grandfather coined this quip (or a variant of it.) I think it's much more likely to have originated from a comic/humorist and he just was repeating it. (It does follow the pretty standard joke format of turning a phrase on its head by substituting an opposite.) Can anyone tell me who was the first person to publicly say/write this phrase (or a close variant such as "...more like the rust years") and what year that occurred? Or when this phrase first became commonly used?
For health reasons, my in laws need to change to vegan / Mediterranean diet like yesterday. These are folks who are used to schnitzel, potatoes, soups with mayonnaise and sour cream. Help me find some resources (books / websites) that will be easily adopted. Nothing adventurous or with novel ingredients. [more inside]
I spent Monday afternoon and evening purging in a way I didn't even know was possible due to a truly insidious GI bug. I'm technically "better" now but I think my microbiome got all jacked up or other body systems are still out of whack. YANMD, but can I do anything (evidence-based) to help me to feel human again? [more inside]
It's a flowering tree of some sort. The blooms are slightly larger than a golf ball. It blooms in spring. My grandmother's friend brought back a seed from a trip to Jerusalem sometime in the 1960s, or at least that's the story. She may have also visited Jordan and Lebanon during that trip. The photo is from a more recent planting, growing in coastal North Carolina (Zone 8a). [more inside]
I have been overanalyzing what car to buy for months and could use some advice. [more inside]
My younger colleagues at University are using some either template or software to build slide decks that have a web2.0 look and feel, head and shoulders above your average google slides / powerpoint decks. [more inside]
Several years ago I heard a podcast episode about a US academic who set up a free community program to teach humanities subjects to uneducated or unemployed people in his area. My sketchy recollections include: Initially his idea was treated with derision ('Poor people don't need the arts, they need real life skills' etc) but after a crash course in subjects like philosophy, many of his students were able to improve their lives in unexpected and profound ways, and all found employment - except for one who was fired after trying to set up an employee's union. What was this program, who ran it, and what podcast did I hear about it on? [more inside]
In some European myths, from Plato's Cratylus to Rumplestiltskin, knowing someone's True Name means having special knowledge about them, or power over them. What kind of powers are those? What about other cultures of the world? [more inside]