June 2019 Archives

June 30

Wrong paypal email-- do i need to do anything?

i just got an email to a side account, that i had made a paypal account. i did not do so. i then got an email to confirm a transaction-- when i checked the transaction, the email the person making the transaction had provided was mysidemeail@differentemailhosting.com rather than mysidemeail@sidehost.com given that it's just what appears to be a mistake, is there anything I need to do for security reasons? [more inside]
posted by Cozybee at 11:29 PM PST - 6 comments

Best options for specific home automation tasks?

I reviewed a few previous questions about home automation, but our needs are a little more snowflakey and hopefully technology has advanced some in the years since those questions. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by SquidLips at 9:28 PM PST - 3 comments

Elementary school playground etiquette

We moved to a house directly across the street from an urban elementary school (like all that seperates us from the blacktop playground is a small street and the sidewalk, with a chain link fence). People use it on weekends and evenings. Now it is summer and people play basketball quite late. What to do? [more inside]
posted by k8t at 9:24 PM PST - 45 comments

Looking for Indian movie suggestions for kids

My kids (4 and 8) recently saw and really enjoyed Chillar Party. They can understand a bit of Hindi/Urdu, and I am trying to get them exposed to more content and culture of my native language. Any other movie suggestions?
posted by raheel at 7:48 PM PST - 7 comments

Argentina filter: Choscamus or Lobos for the eclipse tomorrow?

Hopping a last minute flight to Buenos Aires for the eclipse tomorrow with a plan to land and head straight into the path of totality for sunset. Has anyone been to Chascomús or Lobos? Any car rental tips or local driving quirks to be aware of? Would love any perspective the metafilter community has to offer. Thanks as always! :)
posted by wowenthusiast at 5:21 PM PST - 3 comments

Parent's finances help

I manage my elderly, middle-class parents funds and I'm doing a bad job. What kind of professional can help and can I afford them? [more inside]
posted by latkes at 4:41 PM PST - 20 comments

(anti-workaholic) hobbies

I've come to the realization that I'm kind of a workaholic, and I think it's because I don't have anything to look forward to outside of work. Hobby suggestions? Requirements within! [more inside]
posted by dragonfruit at 2:50 PM PST - 33 comments

Going to San Jose, Where to Stay?

Mr. Darling, the two kiddos and I are heading to San Jose in August. We will be staying with family for two nights near Los Gatos and then will relocate to San Jose for two nights. We want to be somewhere walking friendly but we will have a car. Any suggestions?
posted by tafetta, darling! at 12:54 PM PST - 5 comments

I guess semaphore is out of the question

You're a person with self-confidence who finds other people compelling and attractive and has a) no problem letting them know and b) no compunction in doing so. Please share your knowledge with one for whom these skills do not come easy. [more inside]
posted by Balthamos at 12:51 PM PST - 13 comments

How to clear a deceased estate efficiently?

I have purchased a house from a deceased estate. Picking up the keys next week, however I have a strong suspicion that all the personal possessions that were there when I viewed the place will still be in there. Can you help me brainstorm how to tackle this efficiently? [more inside]
posted by teststrip at 12:11 PM PST - 19 comments

Highly Nutritious, Convenient and Shelf-Stable Food Suggestions

A family member has been diagnosed with inoperable Stage 4 cancer. The resulting financial and emotional distress means that my diet and consequently my health has been suffering. Help me feed myself. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 12:00 PM PST - 11 comments

Good parks for people-watching in Hong Kong

On trips to China, I've been enchanted by the great variety of group activities in parks. I saw ballroom dancing and hackysack at the Temple of Heaven in Beijing, and catwalk displays in the People's Park in Chengdu. In my last trip to Hong Kong, I saw lone exponents of Sword TaI Chi in the zoo area in Central, which was a nice start to the day but not in the same league as Beijing hackysack. Are there parks in Hong Kong that approach the same social spirit as those in mainland China?
posted by kelper at 11:36 AM PST - 3 comments

Minimal fishing kit

Suppose I own a decent fishing rod and reel and nothing else, only want to fish at a pond stocked with trout and bass, and want to spend the minimum amount of money that will maximize my chances of catching fish, especially trout (to eat, not to catch and release). Also that I know nothing.
posted by HotToddy at 11:19 AM PST - 10 comments

Recently moved. Ideas for finding work?

I recently moved back to my home state to care for my aging mother. She died and I need to find work. The bulk of my working life has been in academic libraries followed by a few years of miscellaneous support positions in a community college. I would love to be an executive assistant; while I have the skills for it, my resume reads library and miscellaneous work. [more inside]
posted by KleenexMakesaVeryGoodHat at 11:14 AM PST - 9 comments

Recommend me some grimdark fiction!

I'm really enjoying a particular kind of grimdark fiction recently: settings of profound and insurmountable systemic terribleness where individual morality is sort of irrelevant because individuals are perversely incentivised or have no good options or can't even imagine an alternative. Examples and counter-examples inside. What else should I read? [more inside]
posted by meaty shoe puppet at 9:17 AM PST - 27 comments

Where can I get a raised view of 6th ave in Midtown?

I’m looking to get a raised vantage point to photograph a march on 6th Avenue, between 42nd Street and 59th Street. Any suggestions? Doesn’t have to be very high. Anything even a story or two in the air is good, e.g. rooftop restaurant, raised park or plaza, multi-story store etc. thanks!
posted by andoatnp at 8:37 AM PST - 10 comments

Help us find a new home

Our family has jobs in Collegeville PA and Philly (uPenn area). Where should we live? [more inside]
posted by you're a kitty! at 8:11 AM PST - 9 comments

Planes, trains, and automobiles in and around Rome (and Florence/Naples)

I'm going to Italy (based in Rome) for a week and a half in July and am ridiculously excited. For the first couple of days, I'll drive out to the countryside from the Rome airport to visit friends, and then spend six days in Rome with planned side trips to Naples/Pompeii and Florence during two of the days that I'm there. I'd be grateful for your recommendations, but I am specifically wondering about some practical details. [more inside]
posted by foxy_hedgehog at 7:53 AM PST - 19 comments

Keeping a pond clear

What can I do to minimize algae growth in a pond? [more inside]
posted by cozenedindigo at 7:07 AM PST - 17 comments

Any tips for reducing night / hypnopompic hallucinations?

I seem to be having more hypnopompic hallucinations when waking up in the middle of the night than in the past. It doesn't bother me much, but I often concurrently sit up suddenly and sometimes jump out of bed. This wakes up my partner, and I would love to reduce this. Does anyone have tips? Reducing alcohol is often recommended. One article that I found suggests melatonin may be helpful, but the internet also suggests that it can have the opposite effect. What have your experiences been? Are there other strategies for reducing hypnopompic hallucination that you have found effective? Any good books or websites that you know about that focus on parasomnias?
posted by mortaddams at 6:36 AM PST - 6 comments

Would you like to play a game?

Please give me resources on designing and conducting business simulation games. [more inside]
posted by bfranklin at 6:15 AM PST - 3 comments

Scientific explanation for this (music related)?

Im curious why a good song (according to my taste) resonates with me emotionally more the first few times I hear it vs after listening to it on repeat (basically bingeing on the song) or listening consistently for many years. Is it a simple issue of novelty vs familiarity, or what is going on exactly? [more inside]
posted by CancerSucks at 4:16 AM PST - 5 comments

Simple family device access control for Macs

Is there a simple app or service to control or schedule internet access, perhaps for individual devices? [more inside]
posted by treblekicker at 2:02 AM PST - 4 comments

Talking to Babies for Dummies

I'm trying to find some "how to talk to babies for dummies" guidelines for new parents. In particular, the book Brain Rules for Babies mentions a specific set of guidelines given to parents by psychologist William Fowler. I'm curious what those were. Also, if anyone knows a really good resource for activities with ideas like "at 2 months, they should be learning to track noises with their eyes -- try moving a rattle back and forth to let them practice," I'd be really interested in that as well. [more inside]
posted by slidell at 1:58 AM PST - 18 comments

June 29

Help me choose the right password manager

I've used the macOS keychain since forever, but don't like the way it forces me to use Safari for smooth integration. Help me choose the best option for security and convenience. [more inside]
posted by Cogito at 7:38 PM PST - 16 comments

How do I make a million lifestyle changes at the same time?

I have a serious health problem, and need to do a bunch of things (exercise, change my diet, hydrate, reduce stress, physical therapy, meditate, go outdoors, and make more doctor's appointments). I've heard you're supposed to only change one part of your life at a time -- but considering how many things I'm supposed to change, the one-thing-method seems like it could take forever! I'm looking for books/testimonies about 1) ways people have successfully transformed all their habits simultaneously or 2) good tips/tricks for changing any of the abovementioned individual habits. [more inside]
posted by sockanalia at 7:11 PM PST - 22 comments

Chilly movies and books and games

It's stupid hot and humid outside. Disrespectful. I seek imaginative escape. [more inside]
posted by Caxton1476 at 5:32 PM PST - 43 comments

It's 2019, is a Pebble watch still a good choice?

I'd like to have a smart (or smart enough) watch again, but my favorite is essentially DOA. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by gc at 5:05 PM PST - 15 comments

Career change ideas?

I’m a lawyer at a corporate law firm, and I need help figuring out what to do with my career. I’ve recently given birth and have six months to figure out whether to go back to the firm. I don’t want to quit without my next steps planned out, but I have no idea what I want to do—help me figure it out! [more inside]
posted by saltypup at 4:17 PM PST - 14 comments

How to create endnotes that use text references instead of numbers?

I am working on a nonfiction book with a small publisher. I want to have endnotes, but not ones with numbers in the text, but instead ones that reference to a small snippet of text and then the note. Kind of like this? I am using a complex workaround involving bookmarks and cross references in Word, but wondering if there's an easier way. Thanks!
posted by heavenknows at 12:07 PM PST - 4 comments

We were promised jet packs.

What are some futuristic things we were supposed to have by now? What are some futuristic things we have now that weren’t predicted?
posted by pxe2000 at 11:27 AM PST - 45 comments

Help me paint a small wall economically

Can I buy a whitish (pearl or similar) colour of latex paint and add a dye to get a decent lilac? [more inside]
posted by TheGoodBlood at 10:48 AM PST - 13 comments

Help me write a less-masculine gay male character without cliches.

I’m working on a story with a cis gay male main character, but I’m having trouble choosing the right words to describe him. [more inside]
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 10:13 AM PST - 13 comments

Help Me Set-up My New Laptop

I just bought a new laptop and have some questions about setting it up. Details inside... [more inside]
posted by Alvin80 at 9:17 AM PST - 12 comments

Children's books about social justice

I have been asked to find and read a book for story-time at church about "anyone you want to lift up in the social justice realm. Someone who spoke up and helped others." Elementary-school-aged kids, mostly. My preference would be a focus on a character/historical figure, and author, from a marginalized group, and my super-preference would be a focus on how a community of people can come together and make a difference rather than on how one exceptional person can do so. Recommendations?
posted by lazuli at 9:06 AM PST - 11 comments

That smell (cf. Lynard Skynard)

I have an 18-year-old child who smokes weed, in the privacy of our home, in Baltimore where such behavior has been decriminalized. I do not object to that. But try as he might to confine the smell to his room, the whole apartment is on the same A/C vent system, and the, uh, force is strong throughout, particularly when he's actually lighting up. [more inside]
posted by ubiquity at 9:05 AM PST - 47 comments

Long Germany layovers: 6 hours in Frankfurt, overnight in Munich

Traveling with three teenagers (16, 14, 12) from US to Athens this weekend on Lufthansa and we have long layovers each way — 2pm to 8:30pm Tuesday in Frankfurt and 9pm Monday to 9am Tuesday in Munich. We’ve never been to Germany (and don’t speak German), but we hate to spend more time than necessary in the airport, or in the case of Munich, sleep away our time in a hotel. [more inside]
posted by blueshammer at 8:05 AM PST - 16 comments

In danger of failing

I am in danger of being kicked out of my graduate program because of a couple of mistakes I made when filling out paperwork for my internships. What are my rights? What are my next steps? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 5:38 AM PST - 12 comments

Melbourne for Cheap

Woohoo, got tickets to the Cursed Child for the Potterhead child! All the money went to tickets so we are on a tight budget. Logistics questions inside for Melbourne. [more inside]
posted by jadepearl at 1:36 AM PST - 6 comments

How to decide what opportunities to say no to?

I'm in academia, in a relatively senior position (tenured, associate professor). I already have too many projects on the go. I've bought out all my teaching for the next few years with external funding, so there's no real way to make more space in my timetable beyond that. But I keep being invited to be involved in new projects and opportunities that really excite me and I'm having trouble figuring out when to say no and when I can/should accept. What are helpful rules of thumb for figuring this out? [more inside]
posted by lollusc at 12:45 AM PST - 6 comments

Getting clear answers out of my dentist is like pulling teeth...

I have always had bad teeth and bad gums. I now need a lot more dental work after pregnancy, and I am feeling so scared and miserable about it. [more inside]
posted by Catseye at 12:39 AM PST - 14 comments

Acronis Backup File will not load?

On Acronis True Image 2017, I get "Failed to open item F \KarenPC_inc_b2s8_v1.tib" [more inside]
posted by ragtimepiano at 12:13 AM PST - 5 comments

June 28

A cloud of unknowing

Once upon a time, I read a book in which the protagonist is described as traveling (by land or sea, I'm not sure, but not flying) and passing into some kind of great dazzling, blinding whiteness. [more inside]
posted by praemunire at 7:47 PM PST - 12 comments

Book recommendations: Stories about leaving religion behind

I am looking for book recommendations about the experience of being religious and leaving. For example, growing up in a strictly observant family but then leaving at some point. I prefer personal experiences but I'm open to all types of books on this subject. Thanks!
posted by emmatrotsky at 5:55 PM PST - 18 comments

Applying for a job I was previously rejected for

Last year I was interviewed for a job that I really wanted and know I'm well-qualified for (trust me on this). It's come up again - how do I apply? [more inside]
posted by Pink Frost at 2:56 PM PST - 16 comments

Where to Travel in November

I have a milestone birthday coming up in November, and I was thinking of making it a destination birthday. It doesn't seem like a great month for travel though, so I'm unsure of where to go. [more inside]
posted by willnot at 1:53 PM PST - 18 comments

How to fix (or not) expensive scratched metal door?

I need help fixing a scratched painted steel door and/or not getting screwed over by our landlords for damaging their stupid expensive door. [more inside]
posted by 256 at 1:35 PM PST - 15 comments

Christopher Street Liberation Parade, 1973

In 1973, I finished the Gay Pride Parade at Washington Square Park, dead center of the front banner for the parade. Please, anyone know where there are photos? I was 16 at the time! I've searched, without success.
posted by Goofyy at 12:45 PM PST - 7 comments

Examples of community based life sciences research?

Hi, I'm trying to find examples of scientific research (life sciences preferred) happening in places or communities that one might not generally associate with scientific research, (so outside of universities, biotech companies, etc..), that has some sort of benefit or relevance to the surrounding community. Thank you!
posted by stanleyhuff at 12:23 PM PST - 10 comments

How Kafkaesque is it to run a commercial business out of one's own home?

I would like to run an LLC out of my home, including meeting with clients onsite. Where can I go to figure out what hoops I need to jump through and how in order to do this legally? OR, does anyone have feedback around what the risks are of doing this without crossing all the ts and dotting all the is of beaurocracy/zoning/??? Municipality in question is Minneapolis, MN.
posted by kitarra at 11:30 AM PST - 12 comments

More cherry-like, less candy-like maraschino cherries?

Can anyone recommend brands of maraschino cherry (or de-pitted cherries in water, no added flavor) that are cherry-like but less candy-like, cheaper than $8/jar? [more inside]
posted by rollcredits at 11:23 AM PST - 18 comments

What's a good show about horses for a two-year-old?

Help me find a more age appropriate show about horses for my toddler to get all wrapped up in. Ideally on Netflix or Amazon Prime. [more inside]
posted by Naberius at 10:53 AM PST - 12 comments

Town in Hungary

Please could you help me find the name of the town in Hungary that my dad’s family is from? [more inside]
posted by mgrrl at 10:53 AM PST - 7 comments

Cat dandruff

Mrs. Beasley has dandruff. Omega-3 supplements see to be the way to go. However, I positively hate the smell of fish. Do you have experience treating cat dandruff with a product that won't make me gag? Cat tax. (Yes, she is staring into your soul.)
posted by mudpuppie at 10:25 AM PST - 7 comments

Helping my toddler while I'm on a business trip

I work full-time. My son is 2.5 years old. Occasionally (3-4 times a year) I travel for work, usually for 2-4 nights. Looking for (a) recommendations for books for kids whose parents (especially moms) are traveling, and (b) your other great tips for smoothing this over! [more inside]
posted by CiaoMela at 10:00 AM PST - 13 comments

Seeking anecdote on impossibility of making online communication safe?

I just told this story to a friend, and I cannot for the life of me find it online:
There's a great article from a long time ago about the essential impossibility of algorithmic child-safety-fication of communication in online communities...
[more inside]
posted by artlung at 9:50 AM PST - 6 comments

Getting Paid in Advance for Freelance work via Escrow service

Is there an online payment platform like paypal or venmo that holds funds in "escrow" and doesn't have to be released until the job being paid for is complete? [more inside]
posted by ljs30 at 9:44 AM PST - 2 comments

How to address IT band / hip pain?

I have a desk job where I sit all day. I also like to run and road bike. The combination has caused pain in my glutes and the IT band area around the hip (no knee pain). Have you had similar issues, and how did you address it? [more inside]
posted by mr_bovis at 9:19 AM PST - 10 comments

How to get out of my mind?

I am struggling mightily with an unexplained and expetended natural high - and I'd love some perspective on how to deal or be done with it. [more inside]
posted by socksister at 8:57 AM PST - 20 comments

Lying to avoid conflict - why?

Have you ever dealt with someone who lies to avoid conflict? Are you the type of person who lies to avoid conflict? Where does that instinct come from and how can it be changed / managed? [more inside]
posted by JenThePro at 8:43 AM PST - 25 comments

Did I dream this short story? (CW: abuse)

I dreamed I was reading a short story, and I'm not sure if it actually exists. Content warning: abuse. [more inside]
posted by Nyrha at 8:28 AM PST - 2 comments

Teacher struggling with a Word/Google Docs conundrum! Please help!

I have created a set of graphic organizers in Microsoft Word, with lots of colourful shapes and multiple text boxes and the like. I actually would prefer to save them as Google Docs though, so that I can easily assign them in Google Classroom. My first issue is that while it's apparently possible just to upload Word docs to Google Drive, because these pages are so elaborate, they get kind of screwed up in the process. [more inside]
posted by to recite so charmingly at 8:18 AM PST - 4 comments

Why would a man have manicured long nails on only one hand?

Other than personal preference/"there's no accounting for taste," why would a man have manicured long nails on only one hand? [more inside]
posted by Mid at 8:09 AM PST - 24 comments

new home, new locks?

I just bought a condo, and want to change the locks ahead of moving in. The internet seems conflicted on how I should go about doing this. Do you have advice for which option I should go with? [more inside]
posted by aaanastasia at 5:56 AM PST - 17 comments

How do I get paid (and remain paid)?

I am arranging a sale of a set of truck wheels/tires with a buyer in another state. He has a friend who lives near me that is driving back East for the Fourth of July and would be able to pick up the wheels and deliver. The buyer proposed that, after his friend looks the wheels over and gives the thumbs-up, he will Venmo me the money and his friend would be on his way. I have some concerns. [more inside]
posted by Don_K at 5:43 AM PST - 14 comments

About Putting on Those Event T-shirts

There are [people I know] going to a rather large awareness event tomorrow [think: cancer walk, awareness walk], and they are having rather strong anxiety about where they will put on the t-shirts that they get at the event. [more inside]
posted by TinWhistle at 5:00 AM PST - 16 comments

New fashion blogs, please.

Hi. I enjoy reading men’s fashion blogs. Thanks for not judging me. My list is getting old and I need some new ones to follow. More details inside. [more inside]
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 12:16 AM PST - 8 comments

June 27

Basic question about pension terminology

What is the difference between "transfer value" and "commuted value" of a pension? I've seen both terms in some readings and I don't really understand the definitions.
posted by NoneOfTheAbove at 9:00 PM PST - 1 comment

Brisbane with my weird little roommate.

I am heading to Brisbane next week with my two year old. Its going to be rainy and I'll be without my other adult. Looking for can't miss locations as well as maybe indoor play spots for toddlers. [more inside]
posted by stormygrey at 5:30 PM PST - 7 comments

International pet transfer - getting a pet rabbit from US --> Iraq

A good friend of mine is moving his familyl back to Iraq from the US. His daughter has a pet rabbit. We are trying to figure out how to safely transport him across international lines. Ideally, they'd prefer to find a way to transport the rabbit the whole way in the cabin/underseat. Suggestions for international pet shipping companies would also be helpful. Thanks!
posted by Anonymouse1618 at 5:17 PM PST - 5 comments

Need to sell 6-yr-old Ikea furniture. How do we figure how to price it?

My son is moving from his college city to another state for grad school. He plans to sell most of the furniture from his studio apartment, and needs to figure out how to price it. [more inside]
posted by merejane at 4:11 PM PST - 19 comments

Fast internet and beautiful forests/mountains in the American west?

Thinking about moving and am looking for possible places to move in the American west - I'm trying to find a place in the middle of the forest/mountains (ideally very close to a National Forest or Park) with fast internet (minimum 300mbit symmetrical connection). I have a virtual job which relies on fast internet access so the faster the better!
posted by arnicae at 3:13 PM PST - 6 comments

How do ISPs limit internet speed?

If I have a 35 Mbps down / 5 up Internet connection, how does my ISP stop me at that rate instead of my devices eating up as much throughput as they can get? [more inside]
posted by Tehhund at 2:25 PM PST - 5 comments

Birthday dinner (and other meals) for non-fish-eater in Tokyo

Check my history and you'll see I'm off to Japan next month. I'm bringing my 21-year-old niece, which is fantastic. But here's the rub: She doesn't eat fish or shellfish. So I need some good advice on excellent places to eat with her. Bonus difficulty: I'm a food writer and still want to eat well. [more inside]
posted by yellowcandy at 1:37 PM PST - 12 comments

Who made my favorite jeans and can I get more?

A few years ago, I picked up an amazing pair of jeans thrift shopping and they quickly became my favorite pair. Can you help me reveal their mysterious, perhaps eldritch origin? [more inside]
posted by thedward at 12:29 PM PST - 7 comments

Do you have experience shipping luggage internationally?

Do you have experience shipping luggage internationally and will you share it with me? I am interested in which companies you used, cost, and if you felt it was worth it. Details are inside. [more inside]
posted by dame at 11:12 AM PST - 4 comments

Using accented words in an American company name. Bad idea?

Hello, I am from the USA and working on starting a very specialized consulting firm that will be working primarily in the UD, secondarily in Latin America and then Europe. I have been having the hardest time choosing a name. I was thinking of just using a street name I lived on in South America. The street was Arcè, pronounced Arsay. Would the accented letter with the tilde, “è” be a problem? [more inside]
posted by Che boludo! at 10:49 AM PST - 46 comments

How do I find cheap/free housing while in a full-time medical program?

The second year of my (pre) med program begins in a few months, and I am unsure if I can afford to return to school due to the expense of rent (not to mention tuition). This summer I'm saving all of my rent money up by being a live-in catsitter and paying nothing in rent, but if I don't find something reasonable soon I likely won't be able to return to school. How do I hack this? Details within. [more inside]
posted by erattacorrige at 10:33 AM PST - 11 comments

Make our trip to Scotland Amazing: Glasgow addition

We'll be visiting Glasgow very soon and would love any ideas for interesting, unusual, or not-to-be-missed sights, spots, or activities. [more inside]
posted by quantum at 8:04 AM PST - 20 comments

What are your favorite preschooler-friendly European cities?

I want to take my family (two adults, a 4 year-old, and a non-mobile infant) on a trip to Europe next April/May. Ideally we'd like to visit a clean, relaxed city with good public transit and lots of chill activities. Please advise! [more inside]
posted by zoomorphic at 7:55 AM PST - 19 comments

How can I stop feeling hopeless and conflicted about the doomed future?

As someone who comes from a conservation background, seeing and feeling all the current and impending impacts of climate change are inducing panic, fear, and hopelessness in me. Seeing the backwards thinking of our (US) right-wing politicians regarding the topic, among many other hot-button issues that concern me, is making me question everything I'm doing and has gotten me feeling nihilistic. How can I remain more balanced? [more inside]
posted by majesty_snowbird at 7:35 AM PST - 37 comments

Outdoor bucket list activities.

What are some outdoor activity bucket list items that people do? [more inside]
posted by Sreiny at 7:24 AM PST - 30 comments

Did an adjustable bed frame help you?

Looking for anecdotes about adjustable bed frames, I saw a few older posts but not a lot. My partner had back surgery 2 years and I feel like we've tried every sort of pillow/support/topper combination there is (both before and after the surgery) to try and get him comfortable. Poor guy! In the last couple of months he's started sleeping in a recliner in another room, he says that's the only way he doesn't hurt in the morning, but we'd both like to figure out how he could be comfortable in our bed. [more inside]
posted by snowymorninblues at 7:13 AM PST - 4 comments

Car repairs too expensive to make, buying another car is too

Car needs $4k worth of repairs on it. I can't afford that. I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:02 AM PST - 30 comments

Should I cut an ex, who may or may not be an alcoholic out of my life?

Several months ago I posted a (very long winded) question about whether or not my boyfriend was an alcoholic, and I received many thoughtful answers from kind strangers. With these comments in mind and through therapy, I decided to end the relationship. At first I felt relieved, but for the most part, I have spent the following months extremely depressed, lonely, and even missing him. We tried to stay friends, which led to the same type of behavior from him that made me want to end the relationship - weird late night texts and drunk phone calls. I finally blocked him on social media, because seeing him make his life seem great to everyone else just ended up making me feel even more isolated, sad, and angry. De-friending him from Facebook led to another series of hurtful texts, in which he cursed at me and tried to make me feel guilty. He called me a bad person and brought up his mom’s passing, etc. I called him the morning after this one particular series of horrible texts; actually told him to get his shit together or he would be dead in 5 years. He called me later that day to tell me he has contacts in AA and he was going to “get himself right”. The pain in my voice and that comment really got to him he said, and this time truly felt different. For the first time, I really believed him and trusted that he was going to at least try to get better. Things shortly took a turn (more details inside) and now I don’t know how to help; if I should try to help; or if in fact I am part of the problem. [more inside]
posted by Camrain at 6:58 AM PST - 43 comments

Calendar-based project management software.

I'm searching for project management software recommendations (paid/subscription is fine) for our mid-sized arts organization. I've looked at past AskMefi questions and am investigating the "usual suspects" often recommended, but I'm wondering if I need to redefine what I'm looking for. We are less task-based and more calendar based. More details lurking within... [more inside]
posted by profreader at 6:13 AM PST - 4 comments

Best budgeting apps

I’m looking for a budgeting app. I’m currently trialling YNAB but am not completely satisfied with it. I need something that: [more inside]
posted by EatMyHat at 1:21 AM PST - 9 comments

June 26

Help identify my friend’s tree!

This is from a tree growing at a friend’s house in Seattle, WA. The flowers are fuzzy and smell kind of sweet/bitter. You can see the leaves better in the second photo. What is it?! Thank you!
posted by centrifugal at 9:58 PM PST - 4 comments

Tips on seeing magistrate for protective order

Tomorrow i'm going to see the magistrate to try to get a protective order. I am in Virginia, and the police have already verbally issued an order and told her she'd be arrested if she contacted me. No physical violence has occurred. I do not need general legal or safety advice, but I've never petitioned a magistrate before for this and don't know what to expect. [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe at 8:58 PM PST - 4 comments

"Visible" cell phone plan?

I'm thinking about switching to the visible cell phone plan and wondering if anyone here has any good or bad experiences with it. [more inside]
posted by whistle pig at 8:17 PM PST - 7 comments

Desperate for some solid advice on a career shift

Background info: I have a B.S. in biology & Wildlife. For the past 10 years I have worked as: a veterinary assistant, a couple wildlife internships, as a "keeper" with birds at a zoo, and again as a zookeeper for birds at a captive facility with major conservation focus. [more inside]
posted by biograd08 at 8:00 PM PST - 6 comments

dispersed camping in Oregon

Where are some good sites for primitive camping in Oregon this coming week? [more inside]
posted by diode at 7:56 PM PST - 2 comments

Planes, Trains and .... Campervans.

I'm traveling to Ireland, for the first time, in a few weeks to spend a week with my daughter at the end of her summer study program. It's late in the game, but I'm considering renting a campervan and hitting the (left side of the) road! Advice appreciated. [more inside]
posted by ecorrocio at 7:18 PM PST - 7 comments

Making Money by Writing

I love to write essays, articles and perfectly worded letters and correspondence. I have no formal education beyond high school and a few years of college. But, I have been told countless times that my writing is beautiful, powerful and well-written. [more inside]
posted by Sassyfras at 7:06 PM PST - 4 comments

I don't want to sound flip, but...

I have a flip phone. I have decided to join the 21st century, albeit kicking a screaming, and get a smart phone. I don’t have the faintest idea what I need. [more inside]
posted by Dolley at 6:09 PM PST - 24 comments

Best Books on Retirement

What are the best books/resources on what to do in retirement? (looking for something that covers the joys and the downsides, the big questions and how to resolve them). Not looking for the financial side of things or financial planning etc.
posted by storybored at 6:03 PM PST - 3 comments

Why should anyone read what I write?

I love writing. The one thing that's holding me back from writing more is a feeling that I'm unnecessary. How do you get yourself to write, if you don't think anyone will care? [more inside]
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 3:45 PM PST - 20 comments

Party planning: drink suggestions + TV

Hi, all-- Having a party tomorrow night to celebrate graduating from residency. Probably around 20 people. I need help! My questions: [more inside]
posted by namemeansgazelle at 3:38 PM PST - 13 comments

Could these questions have been answered reasonably?

I was asked some questions today by journalist from a media org, something of a government broadcaster, and I'm not sure if I handled it correctly, or if there even was a way to answer them properly. It seems odd to me that a reputable media org would ask questions that are so obviously designed to "catch someone out" and are impossible to answer properly in this context, for an article they're publishing today. Can anyone offer any advice on what to do if I'm ever asked these sorts of questions again? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 3:08 PM PST - 18 comments

What's life like in Charleston, West Virginia?

I have a job opportunity in Charleston, West Virginia. I have never been there, and would like to know if it's the kind of place my family might enjoy for a few years. [more inside]
posted by skewed at 3:07 PM PST - 5 comments

SF Bay Area community college art classes

What community colleges in the SF bay area (preferably south bay) offer art classes on nights/weekends? I've heard of City College in SF, but there must be more right! I'm particularly interested in drawing/painting focused classes geared towards beginners.
posted by hermanubis at 2:56 PM PST - 4 comments

Frida Kahlo Museum - photography permit?

Will be heading to CDMX next week and have reservations at many of the main attractions, including advanced tickets at the Frida Kahlo Museum. I read in a couple of spots that you have to have a permit to take photos? Does that include all photos? Or just photos with a camera that is not a phone? And if that is the case (I have an actual camera that I will want to take pictures with), how do I get a permit in advance?
posted by something_witty at 2:12 PM PST - 5 comments

German stuff that I need to find in the US!

I just got back from a couple weeks in Europe, and while in Germany I fell in love with two specific things: Manhattan Eyemazing Double Effect eyeliner and Club Mate . Please help me find a way to get these things in the US, or recommend stuff that is REALLY similar that I can get in Baltimore, MD or get shipped here! [more inside]
posted by capnsue at 1:03 PM PST - 15 comments

Where are my-my-my-my-my (comfy, sturdy) boogie shoes?

Inspired by this question and ones like it, I'd like to know which shoes fill into this "more expensive and extremely comfortable" category? I am a woman with narrow feet and high arches, so if you know of specific brands or styles that accommodate that, all the better. Looking for dressy sneakers or lace-up oxfords - I work in a prison and stand on concrete floors all day.
posted by missrachael at 11:53 AM PST - 2 comments

Calculating probability of being out of work

I'm trying to work out the probability that someone is either out of work or in a less-than-ideal working situation (i.e. working part time, when they want to work full time, for example) in the future. I need help figuring out if the categories I have are mutually exclusive. [more inside]
posted by NoneOfTheAbove at 11:34 AM PST - 5 comments

Best archival software to create online archive?

I'm looking for archival software for the supporting research to a work of historical fiction. It needs to be very secure, but also might eventually be made publicly available. [more inside]
posted by ljshapiro at 11:07 AM PST - 3 comments

Give me your best smart mutual pining, please

I am feeling some kind of Mood right now and I only want to read novels in which the protagonists are HARDCORE PINING. Like, "Oh god I've just realised I've fallen in love with you but for some reason I can't tell you (and also can't seem to tell that YOU are in love with ME!)". Difficulty: I am so tired of outdated male/female power dynamics. Other snowflake details inside - recommend me, Metafilter! [more inside]
posted by citands at 10:43 AM PST - 39 comments

How to use trip insurance as a result of the European heatwave?

On vacation in France. The heatwave is making the trip miserable. Also, my wife is pregnant. We have trip insurance. How do we handle this? [more inside]
posted by rbf1138 at 10:20 AM PST - 14 comments

Who's my freeloader? Plant ID

I replanted my albizia julibrissin rosea seedlings into separate pots (normal gardening soil) and went on vacation. I came back to find a freeloader in one of the pots. It's not any of the other plants at the office. I'm tempted to say tomato but it doesn't have any scent when I rub the leaves. Who's my unexpected guest? And as a bonus, if it's worth keeping, how should I separate the two? Half of my seedlings didn't survive the initial replanting so I'm loathe to disturb it more than necessary.
posted by I claim sanctuary at 10:19 AM PST - 11 comments

What would you call my sleep disturbances?

Since I was young, I've gone through periods where my sleep is interrupted by a strange kind of feeling. Generally speaking, it's a feeling of being half-awake, half-asleep, but unable to think clearly, as if I'm still dreaming. I have the sensation of being awake, in that I can feel my bed and, occasionally, see things in the dark, but I'm unable to rationally interpret them. I feel afraid, but it doesn't seem like a night terror either. Sometimes I'll move around the room, but usually I just stay in bed and work through it until I'm fully cognizant of what's happening. What is this? [more inside]
posted by summerteeth at 10:13 AM PST - 11 comments

Help me think of movie trilogies that then continued unnecessarily...

Films are made into trilogies (or, Pirates of the Caribbean, made into a trilogy after the success of the first). Then studios sometimes push it further... usually poorly but sometimes they end up good. In all cases they're unnecessary, though. Can you help me think of those cases? The ones I can think of are after the fold.. [more inside]
posted by arniec at 10:11 AM PST - 26 comments

Transfering data from old to new computer

Greetings MiFis from hot and humid Philadelphia. I'm buying a new machine next week (Hallelujah!!). What is the best method (free would be good) way to transfer profiles,data etc. When I did this 13 years ago, I put everything on a disc and put them in new machine one at a time. That took forever. I googled this and immediately I was in over my head and priced out, one program was $119. All my data is backed up on an external HD. If it matters, going from Win7 to Win10. Thank you, Ladies and Gentlemen, for your help.
posted by james33 at 10:09 AM PST - 9 comments

Looking for a play about three friends and a freak lightning accident?

I read about the work in a review a while back (maybe at least three years ago?). Of the plot, I remember there being three characters, two of whom have a special relationship to the third. It also features some kind of lightning-related event. [more inside]
posted by Field Tripper at 9:35 AM PST - 2 comments

How do I go about finding a legit jade ring?

I want a jade ring like worn by chow yun fat in the movie God of Gamblers (赌神). Pics here and here. I actually live in China and go to HK regularly, so I feel like this is possible...the issue is fakes. I know that fake jade is extremely rampant, especially here. So not sure what the best way to go about procuring this is!
posted by wooh at 9:00 AM PST - 5 comments

Mary Oliver: favorite poem that is NOT "Wild Geese"

What is your favorite Mary Oliver poem that is not "Wild Geese"? [more inside]
posted by Orlop at 8:41 AM PST - 27 comments

Travel Filter: Switzerland and Sardinia

My spouse and I are going on our delayed honeymoon this August. We will be spending time in the Interlaken / Lauterbrunnen region of Switzerland and on the Italian island of Sardinia. Hit me with your advice inside! [more inside]
posted by lazaruslong at 8:21 AM PST - 12 comments

How do I design better active vocabulary recall question cards?

Let's say I want to learn the word "Where?" in Cantonese. I want to design Anki flashcards but I find that multiple choice is too easy and cold recall from the English with no hints is too hard. How do I assist this memory to form? [more inside]
posted by jago25_98 at 5:59 AM PST - 7 comments

A question about pronouns

Hi folks, I'm a hetero male trying to be conscientious and I recently received a business email from someone that included the pronouns. This person had a traditionally gender ambiguous name, so it was helpful for me. I have some questions [more inside]
posted by askmehow at 5:26 AM PST - 29 comments

How isolated are Chrome profiles from each other?

On my Mac I use multiple Chrome profiles for different purposes — one profile is exclusively for Facebook, one is for Amazon, etc. — and each profile has its own unique content settings tailored to those purposes. I use Safari for all other general browsing. I’m curious how siloed Chrome profiles actually are. Can a website in one profile know what's happening in another profile? Has anyone seriously looked at what browsing data might be shared across them? Is it even possible for researchers to make that assessment with any confidence? [more inside]
posted by theory at 12:02 AM PST - 4 comments

June 25

Hiding incognito mode in Firefox settings

There is a way to go into advanced settings in Chrome to hide your incognito status from web pages you are visiting (so if you're in incognito mode the web page doesn't know that). I don't know how to do it in Firefox though, is there a setting in the about:config settings that will do this for me? I did search Google but couldn't find anything about this precisely. Thanks in advance!
posted by Rufous-headed Towhee heehee at 11:06 PM PST - 8 comments

Can rowing be my only serious exercise?

I am getting back into rowing (just on the erg, not in real boats), and I want to know if rowing can be my only serious workout mode. I would also work in some stretching/yoga, and I typically walk about an hour a day, in 10-30 minute blocks (not specifically for exercise, just as a part of my normal day). If that's sufficient, great, I'm glad to hear it. If not, I would appreciate advice on complementary exercises; more info below. Thanks for any advice you have! [more inside]
posted by ktkt at 9:45 PM PST - 13 comments

Two factor authentication for shared accounts?

What is the latest solution to two factor authentication for shared accounts? As an example, a financial account that both my wife and I need access to. [more inside]
posted by Joey Buttafoucault at 8:59 PM PST - 12 comments

Am I my brothers' keeper?

I need help deciding if/how I should act in a family scenario when remaining neutral feels like siding with the oppressor. The hive mind has given me perspective on previous relations and I expect having anonymous internet strangers give me feedback will help again. Too much beyond the fold. [more inside]
posted by turtlefu at 8:17 PM PST - 22 comments

Recommendations for slightly-nicer-than-cheap things!

Suppose you're someone for whom money has always been short, and you've generally lived a pretty low-frills lifestyle. Not broke, but pretty frugal, i.e. few name-brand pantry items, downmarket tech, clothes bought at discount outlets. Now you've started coming into just a bit more money. Nothing too serious, but enough that you can afford to treat yourself to nicer things once in a while. What kinds of everyday things is it worth spending just a bit more to buy? [more inside]
posted by duffell at 7:35 PM PST - 53 comments

Good side dishes with stir-fried udon noodles?

What are some tasty side-dishes (non-seafood) that pair well with stir-fried udon noodles? I have been told Kimchi or pickled-gingered red onions compliment well. I am quite keen on Southern Korean and some Japanese dishes. Thanks in advance.
posted by RearWindow at 7:06 PM PST - 4 comments

How to make writing a hobby when you have nothing to say?

I'm not sure what to write about. [more inside]
posted by fantasticness at 5:29 PM PST - 28 comments

Help my small time artist booth become Mr. Worldwide.

Later this year, I will be tabling a booth, selling my art and books, at a festival outside the U.S. for the first time. Are there any logistics and tips for a small-time art seller in a country outside their own? [more inside]
posted by galleta monster at 4:17 PM PST - 4 comments

Albums to be at home to

I'm looking for instrumental albums (not playlists) that are your go to for when you're just bopping around the house. The ones you like so much that you put them on all the time as a soundtrack for living. For example, in my house growing up, Thomas Newman's film score for Little Women was nearly always in the stereo. I've also used Time Out by the Dave Brubeck quartet in a similar way, and an album with "The Moldau" and other works by Smetana. [more inside]
posted by ocherdraco at 2:41 PM PST - 55 comments

I have a Steam account and I know how to use it.

Please suggest some games I can run on my very antique laptop. [more inside]
posted by anastasiav at 2:03 PM PST - 13 comments

Cool Shoes!

Where can I find these shoes? [more inside]
posted by RedEmma at 1:47 PM PST - 5 comments

Wireless network woes: The problem of "sticky clients"

I just bought 14 new access points (APs) to upgrade the wireless network at my workplace, but the “upgraded” network is no better than the original – and might actually be worse. I’m starting to fear that I need to buy a whole new system altogether. [more inside]
posted by alex1965 at 1:13 PM PST - 5 comments

Do need anti hearing aid? Or permanent earplug?

2 years ago I suffered hearing damage in a particular frequency and now anything close to that causes significant pain. What do I do - get a hearing aid or just always wear an earplug? [more inside]
posted by MonsieurBon at 12:45 PM PST - 10 comments

Contractor agreement - disclosure and cooperation clause

YANML and will have a lawyer review it Basically states that I agree to sign papers and travel as witness if needed for patents etc in the future. How does that work? Can they summon me whenever? What if I can't make it to their court dates? What if - and I agree the possibility is remote for this job - sometime in the future I get called up and I basically tell them I don't feel like coming or assisting them in any way. Can they sue?
posted by spacefire at 12:33 PM PST - 6 comments

Shoes for plantar fasciitis

I have plantar fasciitis. I would like to be able to look like a relatively professional adult, and also not be limping by the end of the day. I'm looking for recommendations for shoes that are sort of business-casual-androgynous-hippie-professor. [more inside]
posted by Adridne at 11:43 AM PST - 32 comments

Data Recovery: I couldn't have made it muchworse.

I lost about 1500 pics by moving them from my phone to my hard drive then shredding them and reimaging the source. Is there ANY hope? [more inside]
posted by geckoinpdx at 11:23 AM PST - 8 comments

Autism and ADHD resources

My teen is diagnosed with autism and ADHD. I'd like to read and learn more from a perspective of people who have these neurological profiles. What do you suggest? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:02 AM PST - 4 comments

Is keeping my money in a savings account stupid?

I don't know anything about investing- Canada edition [more inside]
posted by winterportage at 9:18 AM PST - 11 comments

Grocery store head-on shrimp okay to use?

Kenji (and others) say that head-on shrimp can be mushy because of some enzymes in the head unless they're exceptionally fresh. Does anyone have any experience with the random head-on shrimp like I see at my local Mexican grocery? Fine to use, not good, or hit/miss? Sometimes these effects are overstated online, sometimes not. Thanks in advance for any info!
posted by ftm at 9:10 AM PST - 6 comments

Are "semi open" the kind of headphones I want for home recording?

Are "semi open" the kind of headphones I want for home recording? [more inside]
posted by critzer at 8:56 AM PST - 11 comments

How to print to scale...

So I think this is probably something I could Google for, but so far, my Googling has let me down! I can find a thousand and one tutorials and forum posts for similar topics but not for this use case: This happened last week: I made a Sketchup model of something I wanted to have laser printed. I converted to a Coreldraw format because that's the format my laser printer wanted it in. In so doing, the scale was lost. The drawing got blown up. I wanted to rescale the entire document, using a known measurement on the drawing as a reference. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to do this! [more inside]
posted by dance at 8:51 AM PST - 6 comments

Web Based Ticket Lottery

What software can organize a lottery for high demand event tickets? [more inside]
posted by slagerst at 8:46 AM PST - 2 comments

Email without a phone number

Does anyone have suggestions for a secure email provider that does NOT require a phone number to create an account—and is extremely user-friendly to set up and use? No complicated work-arounds—just a straight-forward signup and begin using process for people who are not tech savvy and who don’t have a phone. Thanks!
posted by bookmammal at 8:01 AM PST - 17 comments

Engraving metal strips: what machine do we need?

To create display-style plant labels, we would like to engrave the first 6-10 inches of 2.5-3 foot long and approximately 1-1.5 inch wide metal strips. These will stay in the ground year round in the NYC area. Two questions: what kind of metal do we want and what kind of machine is used to do this? [more inside]
posted by sciencegeek at 7:47 AM PST - 14 comments

Room rental in Brisbane or the Gold Coast

My academic organization is holding its annual conference in the Gold Coast at a hotel conference center. A smaller group runs a preconference for about 30 people, typically off-site in a library or other community rental space with wifi, tables, etc. Any suggestions for places to start looking? [more inside]
posted by k8t at 7:21 AM PST - 5 comments

YANMD: Weird migrating pain

YANMD. For a long time (at least a year) I've had bouts of pain right under my right breast. It feels like something inside my body is twisting. The catch is, this only happens when I'm bending my body a certain way: in this case, while wiping after using the restroom. (I am female and plus-sized.) I did see my doctor about this issue, and she said it was just a weird musculo-skeletal thing. I accepted this, but just now, while doing the same action, I felt the exact same type of twisting pain -- except this time in the area of, roughly, my right ovary. I will be going back to the doctor next week, but in the meantime, what could this pain be, has anyone else experienced it, and why is it migrating!? I'm wondering if there are specific tests I should ask for. TIA.
posted by anonymous at 7:09 AM PST - 6 comments

Puzzle me!

I am searching for an online game that I first came across via a link on Metafilter. I’m sure it’s not good for my time management skills to re-discover it, but I’d love to play it again! [more inside]
posted by chronic sublime at 4:50 AM PST - 10 comments

June 24

To tell, or not to tell (pregnancy edition)

My wife and I are having our third baby later this year. As with our prior two, we mutually decided not to find out the sex of the baby. I inadvertently saw some of her medical records that seem to indicate the sex of the baby - truly an accident. Do I tell her or keep it secret? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 10:50 PM PST - 35 comments

How much to bill for travel time?

I'm a writer type, not knowledgeable about business practices. Can you tell me what's typical and reasonable to bill for travel time? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 6:26 PM PST - 20 comments

List of environmental activists in Chinese prison?

Is there an updated list of environmental activists currently (or have been) in prison in China?
posted by anonymous at 6:26 PM PST - 1 comment

Tech Jobs for SJWs

I'm a backend web developer at a corporate job for a not-super-ethical company. I want to move my career in the direction of, well...doing something good for the world. Is that even possible? Where do I start? [more inside]
posted by noxperpetua at 5:26 PM PST - 33 comments

Copyeditors: Is this correct?

It's a me or myself usage question. [more inside]
posted by noelpratt2nd at 4:02 PM PST - 7 comments

Does this bit of vanity require a physician?

I’m fine with my grey hair. I’m less fine with a few spots on my face. If I want to get rid of them, is this a medical matter or can they do it at spa type places that do laser hair removal and such? [more inside]
posted by Smearcase at 3:52 PM PST - 12 comments

Refrigerator Water

Am I risking anything running the refrigerator water dispenser and icemaker without a filter? [more inside]
posted by griphus at 3:51 PM PST - 7 comments

What Should I Cook With Ricotta and Fresh Mozzarella?

Another 'What Should I Cook' question, this time involving ricotta and fresh mozzarella. [more inside]
posted by saladin at 3:30 PM PST - 12 comments

Should I use Kaiser Permanente's Gender Health Program or Wait?

I'm realizing that gender dysphoria has messed up my (AFAB) ability to get the gynecological care I need and I want to rectify that. My insurance provider, Kaiser Permanente, has a Gender Health Program and I'm deciding if I should go through that program to get my needs met. Would like to hear from trans people who have experience with Kaiser, and/or people with expertise in gender identity and health care. [more inside]
posted by the sockening at 3:19 PM PST - 9 comments

Extended Stay near LAX?

I need to find an extended stay option near LAX airport for three months for some training I'll be doing. I'm looking for a cost-effective yet not bare-bones option. I will only need to stay there during the week M-F, but if it makes sense to rent for the entire week I would do that to preserve continuity of rental. Is it possible to get something around $50/night if I commit to the three months? Ideally, no roommates.
posted by SpacemanStix at 2:56 PM PST - 5 comments

Needed: hard-sided, zipperless luggage

Help me choose a sturdy piece of zipperless checked luggage for international travel. [more inside]
posted by cnidaria at 2:48 PM PST - 9 comments

Sketching 101

I've recently taken up sketching and I'm looking for recommendations for good resources - books, videos, blogs - anything. [more inside]
posted by Nilehorse at 12:47 PM PST - 8 comments

Best places on the web for deep distraction

What are the best sites for straight up hours of distraction while I wait for news that makes me very anxious? Where are your internet happy places? [more inside]
posted by emirenic at 12:45 PM PST - 32 comments

Intrepid plus-size shoppers, help me find these pants!

These are my dream pants -- the cut, the colors, the fabric, the pricing. They don't come in my size. Where are the 2x pants just like these? I might be willing to go for full-length pants and have them hemmed by a tailor. Mostly what I want is a really flattering chino that's 100% cotton or very close to that. Thanks!
posted by BlahLaLa at 12:12 PM PST - 9 comments

Employment background screening going too far?

I have been hired for a new job and as part of the background screening, the third party website doing the screening is asking me for documentation for my last three jobs, either a copy of the offer letter, pay stubs, or a W2/1099. This doesn't seem legal. What are my rights here? [more inside]
posted by Fuego at 12:10 PM PST - 9 comments

Help me find this book quote

I’m looking for a book quote about thinking that moving can change a person or fix their problems. Character A was moving (across the country?), and character B was saying that character A was young enough to think that moving could change a person or fix their problems, or something along those lines. [more inside]
posted by ataxia at 11:37 AM PST - 5 comments

Strategies for heatbreak and learning to be alone

I got broken up with in a way that makes the entire situation feel very unresolved and confusing. How can I move on? [more inside]
posted by Amy93 at 11:24 AM PST - 20 comments

How do I switch from using my SSN to an EIN?

I'm self employed and have always just used my SSN, but now I'm thinking of switching to an EIN, which I already got a couple years ago but have just never used. How do I make this switch? [more inside]
posted by swheatie at 11:14 AM PST - 4 comments

Help me find a Christmas destination

We are considering meeting family in a nice place for Christmas away from all of our residences. People will be coming from Chicago, Taiwan, and Vancouver. [more inside]
posted by cat potato at 10:58 AM PST - 3 comments

I think I adopted a dog too soon

My beloved dog died about six weeks ago. I have been grieving intensely, yet I believed I was ready to adopt another dog to be a companion for myself, my husband and our other dog. We have had the dog for two nights and I am having doubts about my decision and am on a roller coaster of emotion - guilt, grief... I don't know if I should give it more time or tell the rescue group that I am not ready and have them find another home for him. [more inside]
posted by GoldenEel at 9:26 AM PST - 23 comments

Can amateur music damage your hearing?

I know that adult professional musicians are at high risk of hearing loss. But what about childhood amateur musicians? Is (say) practicing the trumpet for an hour or two a week safe for kid's ears? If so, what's the dividing line between a harmless level of practice and a harmful one? [more inside]
posted by yankeefog at 9:00 AM PST - 15 comments

How do I Install a new Toilet bowl (without killing my back)!?

I'm not that big and I'm installing a new toilet. The tricky part is lifting the dang toilet bowl to thread it onto the two bolts sticking up from the floor/flange. The problem is that if if don't get it right the first time, I end up mashing the wax ring. Argh! The bowl weighs about 40 lbs and holding that weight for an extended period of time is likely going to kill my back. Is there a smarter way?
posted by storybored at 8:25 AM PST - 11 comments

What would you want to listen to?

Can you suggest 1-3 page excerpts from novels, essays, or books that would be compelling when read aloud? [more inside]
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:01 AM PST - 9 comments

Women are still looking for this poem

There is a poem I have seen numerous times on social media - always as an image. It goes something like: "Women are arriving early to set up/ Women are staying late to clean up/ Women are listening to you/ Women are putting their own needs last..." Have you seen this poem? [more inside]
posted by Cygnet at 7:07 AM PST - 7 comments

Requesting non-leafy, low-carb, cold salad recipes (or like)

Basically during weekdays my schedule is such that I don't spend much time at home, I just walk through the door at night, shower, and go to sleep. This makes dinner/supper annoying because I don't want to chow down on anything too heavy or flavorful immediately before sleeping. If "light on the stomach" works as a description I'll probably like it. [more inside]
posted by ToddBurson at 5:59 AM PST - 24 comments

Neurotic and dating

How do you handle dating when you have a mild psychological disorder? When and how should you reveal your diagnosis? [more inside]
posted by nerdy anthropoid at 5:04 AM PST - 21 comments

Cat cannot sleep on bed anymore; how to train her

Our cat has been sleeping in my husband's bed for over a decade. Her geriatric cat health issues mean this can't continue (...just trust me, even the vet agrees). The kitty is understandably very upset about this change. How can we make this easier on everyone (e.g. let us get sleep)? How can you retrain a geriatric cat? [more inside]
posted by flibbertigibbet at 4:02 AM PST - 30 comments

help me crush this

Aaah! This is such a stupid question. But how do I focus on work when I am in the throes of a very bad crush? [more inside]
posted by unicorn chaser at 3:20 AM PST - 9 comments

Experienced Kimchi-makers, please help me!

Please help me, experienced kimchi-makers. Two-part question: 1) I have a store-bought Kimchi paste -- am I doing this right? 2) Do you have a super-simple kimchi recipe OR any suggestions how I can modify above paste to make an adequate kimchi? Not looking for culinary greatness, just looking for easy, convenient, using as few prep bowls as possible. [more inside]
posted by moiraine at 2:42 AM PST - 12 comments

Kefalonia: where to stay? Where to eat? Where to snorkel?

We (two adults, thirties) are off to Kefalonia for seven nights in early September. We want to eat everything delicious, swim in the sea every day, and see some handsome underwater wildlife. Please give us your recommendations! [more inside]
posted by Cantdosleepy at 2:26 AM PST - 1 comment

June 23

How do you roast chickpeas while keeping them tender?

I’ve come to really like Alison Roman’s “Sheet-Pan Chicken With Chickpeas, Cumin and Turmeric”, especially the chickpeas. A key part of the recipe is that the chickpeas don’t get that crunchy, as they soak in the rendering chicken fat. I would love to roast chickpeas the same way without the chicken, but am not sure how to keep them similarly tender? Intuitively, I imagine you use less time and add some liquid to the pan, but if you have more specific advice it would be welcome!
posted by Going To Maine at 10:49 PM PST - 11 comments

You tried 1+ mental health medications before you found one that worked.

YANMD. You at some point have taken a mental health medication prescribed by a licensed medical professional. During the first go round(s) of being on medications, it was a trial and error process. At some point, someone (you? your dr?) noticed something was off, and said "let's stop this med, and try something else". Something (dose/class/scrip?) was adjusted, and you started the trial and error process again. (Repeat?) Now, you are better medicated. You trust your medication and continue it as long as needed, because you no longer suffer the way you used to. How did you mentally navigate this trial and error period(s)? [more inside]
posted by seemoorglass at 10:45 PM PST - 28 comments

Do you exist?

I sometimes get this nagging feeling that I'm the only person who really exists. Am I alone (in thinking this way)? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 10:09 PM PST - 26 comments

how do I think critically about this immunotherapy drug for cancer?

I started reading online about the immunotherapy cancer drug about to be given to my close family member. Now, instead of being hopeful for them, the list of deadly side effects has me terrified. Metafilter, can you help me think about the risk/benefit appropriately here? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by OlivesAndTurkishCoffee at 9:19 PM PST - 14 comments

Enable my cheese toasties please

Because of a FPP cheese toastie discussion, I have bought this toastie maker mentioned here. Unfortunately I reside in the US. Could someone actually link to the adapter or plug whatever that I need to make the British machine work in the US? [more inside]
posted by Rufous-headed Towhee heehee at 8:16 PM PST - 18 comments

Looking for writings about the soul in liminal/edge situations

I'm looking for pieces about the soul (not arguing against its existence, but either presuming its existence or arguing for its existence) on the topics of evolution (specifically pre human ancestors) and neuroscience (focusing on things like Alzheimer's, dementia, hydrocephaly and other conditions that effect the consciousness). [more inside]
posted by Hactar at 8:04 PM PST - 5 comments

Best waterproof backpack and other gear for rainy season travel?

I'm traveling to the Philippines very soon, and it's the rainy season--I'm told to expect it to rain heavily pretty much all the time. I'll need to carry a backpack with a laptop in it around with me many days. Please recommend a good waterproof (or -resistant) backpack! Ideally 20-30L, not particularly hike-y or sport-y looking, available in black, and with a side bottle pocket. Any other gear recommendations are welcome, as well. I'll already be packing a light rain jacket, quick-dry synthetic clothes, and shoes that can get wet.
posted by rhiannonstone at 7:48 PM PST - 14 comments

dealing with low-level toxicity in work environments

What techniques and strategies can I use to not let toxic people at work bother me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 5:25 PM PST - 11 comments

Eloping in Hawaii: 2020-ish Edition

We became engaged a week ago-hooray! Prior to the engagement, we talked about eloping in Hawaii and now we're trying to figure out if this is actually a good idea. [more inside]
posted by katemcd at 5:25 PM PST - 10 comments

We know who/how/what/when/where... but WHY?

Have there been any mystery films (not interested in books or TV shows) that are about a crime that has already been committed, and where we already know from the very start everything about the nature of the crime --- who committed it and how, etc -- so that the drama and central question of the film is simply exploring the WHY?
posted by egeanin at 5:07 PM PST - 22 comments

How do I health insurance?

Well, not me actually - my grown kid. What's a good online health insurance primer that covers principles, terms, etc? [more inside]
posted by j_curiouser at 4:10 PM PST - 1 comment

What to do with this cat?

Our family is facing a dillemma. We have this cat that we adopted from a neighbor almost 10 years ago. Pretty much from the moment we've had her she's had "bowel problems", which translates to the cat having had diarrhea pretty much constantly. We've spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on the vet, without a conclusive diagnosis and no medications that solved, let alone alleviated the problem. We're at our wits end. We're tired of living in a house that's covered in shit and smells like a two week's old litterbox. Tired of watching our step everywhere for fear of stepping in another puddle, tired of cleaning the puddles, just basically, really, really tired of this shit. The last three months the cat has lost a lot of weight, she's been put on steroids, but all to no avail. In short: we're ready to bring her to the vet to have her euthanized. But we feel guilty. What would you do in such a situation? Are we bad people for just wanting this to be over?
posted by monospace at 4:07 PM PST - 23 comments

At a Bash with Our Buddy’s Bad News Boyfriend

My friend is dating an emotional abuser who loves trying to start fights in public. He and she and I, along with other friends, will be at a party for a special occasion and I am looking for the best method of avoiding him without making a scene that would upset her or the occasion. [more inside]
posted by sallybrown at 3:54 PM PST - 23 comments

What is this strange smell?

I moved into a great new apartment recently - but there is a plastic burning smell coming from my windows and I want to investigate the official explanation further. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 3:08 PM PST - 4 comments

"Trust not my reading, nor my observations..."

I find myself with some free time, and so I'm embarking on a project I've wanted to do for a while, which is a full read-through of Shakespeare. I've read some of the plays, seen many performances, and had all the normal exposure throughout my education, but there are many plays I haven't read or seen and have no knowledge of, and I'd like to fill in those gaps and gain a deeper appreciation. I have my wonderful Riverside Shakespeare, and a friend or two to discuss with. What resources are out there that I should be drawing on, that would enrich this enterprise? What should I keep in mind? How should I approach this in order to get the most out of it? I'm interested from an academic and a literary perspective, but also as entertainment and fun, so I'm looking for a wide variety of resources and advice, including performances. Thanks!
posted by cosmic owl at 2:47 PM PST - 15 comments

Music festival in an unfamiliar country - good idea or bad idea?

I'm going to be in Barcelona for work in July, and there's a music festival directly before my job starts that I'd like to go to. I don't speak any Spanish (well, a very small amount), and I've never been to Barcelona - how easy/difficult will it be for me to get around on my own (mostly to/from the festival, and navigating the festival itself)? [more inside]
posted by hapticactionnetwork at 2:27 PM PST - 9 comments

How to get a bank account if you are technically homeless?

My friend has no fixed residence, and either couchsurfs with friends or stays in AirBNB places in NYC. He is the happiest person I know, and all his possessions fit in his backpack. But - his bank found out that the address he gave them was a UPS mailbox and not an actual address, and terminated his account. This has introduced an element of sadness to his otherwise happy life. How can he get an account? [more inside]
posted by Vatnesine at 12:53 PM PST - 7 comments

Anyone have experience making fathead bagels?

Does anyone have any tips for getting fathead bagels to have a more bagel-y texture? [more inside]
posted by smashface at 12:31 PM PST - 7 comments

Name for animals that are sometimes bipeds and sometimes quadrupeds?

Is there another term like biped or quadruped that can be used to describe animals that are able to use both forms of locomotion? Some examples of these animals are: bears, kangaroos, gorillas, frilled dragons, pangolins, and humans. (I am aware that some of these examples spend the vast majority of time using just one or the other form of locomotion, I'm not here to debate that)
posted by McNulty at 12:17 PM PST - 2 comments

PROTECC the fruit

Sometimes I forget that numbers have meaning and anyway I accidentally 2lbs of strawberries. THIS IS NOT A RECIPE QUESTION. This is about FOOD STORAGE. [more inside]
posted by poffin boffin at 10:40 AM PST - 27 comments

Truck Troubles

Tomorrow we were to move the last of the furniture from our apartment that we can only fit in a rental truck. We made a rental truck reservation weeks ago. They called today to tell us actually, there's no truck available. What do we do now? [more inside]
posted by wellifyouinsist at 8:46 AM PST - 23 comments

Shall I forget him or keep the door open?

A guy I was dating ended our relationship because he has such anxiety about sex. I feel I've missed out on something amazing and am not sure if I should just forget him or message him and say - I hope you get the support you need, lets not completely close the door on this and if you work through your issues get in touch (or something along those lines)? [more inside]
posted by artystar at 8:38 AM PST - 25 comments

West Virginia nature places, things to see and local music

We have a summer wedding in Maryland. We are thinking of vacationing in West Virginia state for a few days. Can you suggest best nature places to visit, places to hike, best things to see, and maybe local music we can take in. Thanks as always.
posted by Tziv at 8:34 AM PST - 8 comments

Low-driving vacation spots in California

I'm trying to find a good place in California to make into our annual vacation spot -- somewhere with rental cabins where kids and adults can explore and walk to fun outdoor activities without everyone having to pile in a car. Please share your best camping or vacation rental experiences if you would! [more inside]
posted by slidell at 8:25 AM PST - 7 comments

Vancouver with Kids

My family has booked a flight to Vancouver for August 3rd - 10th. We have never been and are looking for suggestions on where to stay and what to do. My kids are 8 and 10. A friend who lives there said with that time frame, he would spend half the time in the city and half the time in Whistler. Looking for alternative suggestions with specific answers on neighborhoods and lodging options. We are open to hotels or Airbnb. [more inside]
posted by jasondigitized at 6:49 AM PST - 13 comments

Hartford --> Rochester --> Toronto

Thinking of doing a solo road trip this summer to Toronto from Connecticut. I'd like to break it up by stopping in Rochester. I'm looking for recommendations on campgrounds on the way, especially near Rochester. [more inside]
posted by Shadow Boxer at 6:06 AM PST - 1 comment

Flipping out about flipped classrooms

I have been volun-told to "flip" the first-year medical student module pertaining to my specialty. I have an interest in medical education, but no formal education/pedagogy training, so have been googling to try to figure out what this means and how to do it most effectively. Educators of Mefi: what are the best practices around a flipped classroom model that actually get students to do the pre-class reading/video watching and engage in discussion? [more inside]
posted by basalganglia at 5:43 AM PST - 8 comments

Why can't you fix your face?

I've repeatedly had issues where people have told me that I look sad or frustrated and stressed out. I work in retail and I think it may be negatively affecting my coworkers. [more inside]
posted by sheepishchiffon at 2:30 AM PST - 14 comments

Anne Lister's travel diaries

Did Anne Lister (aka Gentleman Jack) write any travel diaries? If not, what can I read instead? [more inside]
posted by iamsuper at 1:40 AM PST - 3 comments

June 22

Who made these perfect black leggings?

A few years ago, I found perfect PERFECT black, 2x size, thick cotton, heavily elasticated, wide waist leggings that are only just now starting to get a little worn out. The tag has sadly faded and I bought them in a Ross/Marshalls type store in Manhattan so don’t know who made them! Please, please help me find them! I will be eternally grateful! [more inside]
posted by bookwizard at 8:20 PM PST - 6 comments

I'm a product manager. What can I do that's more hands-on?

tl;dr: I'm a full-time product manager and find it boring and ambiguous in an unpleasant way. I'd like to acquire or develop a skill in my field that can be applied more concretely and, well, help me make more money. I have a broad collection of skills but I'm not quite sure what to capitalize on. [more inside]
posted by Transmissions From Vrillon at 8:15 PM PST - 5 comments

what does it feel like to be managed?

My employer is expanding rapidly, and I think only now starting to realize there is a distinct skill of managing people as opposed to managing projects. Unfortunately, this is my first job out of college, so I have no idea what good management looks like. If you've been managed well, what were your managers able to do for you? What would be reasonable to ask of a manager? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 7:23 PM PST - 9 comments

Puffer Machines + Drug Addiction

A friend of mine has a significant, and long term, addiction to opioids - currently using illicit fentanyl - and he also occasionally uses meth. He desperately wants to do the "Edge Walk" at the CN Tower. His judgment and his ability to function under the influence of opioids is absolutely fine - there would be no safety concerns, and he is otherwise healthy. In order to access the CN Tower, he would need to pass through the "puffer machine". Can he? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 7:23 PM PST - 9 comments

Strange Things Afoot at the Credit Union

The other day I deposited a couple of cashier's checks at my credit union. They acted sorta weird about it. What was going on? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 7:22 PM PST - 16 comments

how to add text to many photos keeping text size consistent

I have over a hundred photos of places which I use as in slideshow mode as desktops on my Windows 10 PC. I want to add text to each photo to name the place but I can't get the text size consistent because Windows resizes the images to fit the screen. How do I solve this? [more inside]
posted by anadem at 7:10 PM PST - 3 comments

Legalfilter- Property Line, Fences and Who Pays to Survey?

The basics are that a new adjacent owner has a different view of where our mutual property lines are and they want to move ahead swiftly with their new plans. I think they might be correct, but there are a lot of conflicting pieces of information. I want to know (1) how hard I should push my claim given what we're fighting over, (2) how to slow him down in the meantime and (3) what the law says about the chances I'll succeed. [more inside]
posted by Reasonably Everything Happens at 7:00 PM PST - 10 comments

Need a japanese toilet seat in Canada. Not crazy expensive

So my mom has trouble with the wiping due to rheumetoid arthritis. My parents are planning a bathroom renovation. I'd like to buy them a japanesse toilet seat (having been to Japan and returned in love.) It should wash with not-freezing water and I guess it should dry or otherwise she'd have to wipe dry. I don't want to go crazy on price. They're not changing the toilet, so just the seat, not a toilet. Please recommend.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 6:19 PM PST - 12 comments

what do do with a rusty cast iron step

I purchased a 120 year old iron step. It is very substantial (likely 100+ lbs) but has a thick, pitted coating of rust. I tried scrubbing one area, with little impact. Sandblasting and powder-coating would cost at least $300. I plan to use this as an outdoor step. Would it be feasible for me to just coat it with rustoleum paint and use it, or do I really need to get it sandblasted? [more inside]
posted by arnicae at 6:05 PM PST - 8 comments

Can you identify this shawl that Selina wore in VEEP?

I would like to know the designer of this shawl that Selina Meyer wore in Season 7, episode 2 of Veep. This website apparently auctioned the entire outfit and they identify the designer of each piece EXCEPT the shawl! All it says is "cashmere." There's a front and a back photo on that site. Bonus question -- where can I buy a similar shawl, preferably ethically made?
posted by cranberrymonger at 5:55 PM PST - 1 comment

Literature based Geography class for Kinder/1st Grade - books needed

In the fall, I will be teaching a geography class to kinder and first grade students. I would like to read a story from different countries/cultures as part of this, and potentially do a craft or something after we learn about the area. Please give me some good leads on potential storybooks that we could use. [more inside]
posted by 101cats at 5:06 PM PST - 2 comments

Leaving a car behind before getting into the mountains?

Where can you safely park a car before the dirt road / trailhead? [more inside]
posted by RajahKing at 3:33 PM PST - 4 comments

How to monitor a vacation home from 100 miles away

We're buying a second home on Cape Cod (yay!). We live in Boston. We will rent it out a lot of the summer and hopefully for some of the fall. We'll spend our summer vacation there and weekends in the off-season. Trying to figure how to monitor from afar. I also have a question about a specififc quirk inside involving a weird bulkhead containing the water heater and other things. [more inside]
posted by jdl at 2:17 PM PST - 6 comments

Food of Iceland

Micro McGee is currently obsessed with Iceland and wants an Icelandic feast for his birthday. Ideas? Recipes? Menus? [more inside]
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 12:42 PM PST - 26 comments

Is pursuing a MSc in Environmental Sustainability a bad idea?

I originally wanted to do a MA in English Literature/MFA Creative Writing, but the career prospects are grim. (Planning on doing an MA in Political Science next year). I am wondering if pursuing an MSc in Environmental Sustainability would be a good idea career-wise? (For a second Masters?). [more inside]
posted by RearWindow at 12:40 PM PST - 17 comments

managing finances while incarcerated

My SO is currently incarcerated. What can we do to protect his remaining cash and credit? [more inside]
posted by secretdawn at 12:27 PM PST - 2 comments

Leaning WAY TOO FAR in

So, I am attending my first-ever conference. Oh yeah, and I'm presenting. And I'll be alone. And it's halfway across the world. In a region I've never even visited before. In less than a month. Please share all your advice for preparing? [more inside]
posted by mosst at 11:03 AM PST - 21 comments

Term for semi-fake field of study

What would you call the field of study of a human who studies what aliens tell their people about humans? [more inside]
posted by BeeDo at 10:44 AM PST - 12 comments

Dopamine Fasting 101

[ADHD Filter] I'm trying to learn more about dopamine fasting and whether or not it's right for me. [more inside]
posted by nightrecordings at 10:06 AM PST - 10 comments

A Strange Situation

Can you give me tips and strategies to deal with my boss's strange behavior? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 9:07 AM PST - 15 comments

Child bike carriers, your experience needed.

What kind of child bike carrier for a Motobecane Le Champion bike? Not interested in bike trailers. [more inside]
posted by timpanogos at 6:49 AM PST - 3 comments

Lost photos, technological graveyards.

Can I get back old photos from various 'dead' devices and if so how? [more inside]
posted by bquarters at 6:02 AM PST - 4 comments

Need trips and tricks to manage my frustration in new living situation

After living with my partner for several happy years, I'm now living with partner and son, and I'm not happy. ISO tips for dealing with this transition and managing my frustration until these concerns can be adequately addressed in therapy or I make the decision that this living arrangement is untenable. [more inside]
posted by IwishIwasFordMaddoxFord at 3:36 AM PST - 15 comments

Responsible, sustainable holidays options in Europe?

My partner and I are planning a holiday in January, somewhere in Europe that will have sun that time of year. My partner likes cruising but I am not keen on the environmental damage that they cause. I am also not that keen on flying, for the same reasons. Does anyone have suggestions for places, trips, or operators that offer more responsible and sustainable holidays?
posted by Grinder at 1:37 AM PST - 5 comments

June 21

Baby rules

How do you react during a playdate if the other child pushes or hits your child, and you feel the other parent underreacts? [more inside]
posted by nouvelle-personne at 10:32 PM PST - 29 comments

Hemp Oil vs CBD Oil

What is the difference in active ingredients between a product called CBD oil, (sold at a brick & mortar CBD outlet) and hemp oil, (sold on amazon), apart from the price? [more inside]
posted by toodleydoodley at 9:32 PM PST - 6 comments

(TW Sexual Assault) Disturbing Content/Discussion at Writers' Group

At my writers' group meeting this week, one of the submissions depicted a rape. During critique, the writer dismissed concerns about the submission's content by saying that the story was taking place "before the #metoo era," so concepts like consent and rape are anachronistic and irrelevant (?!). The rest of the group seemed split in terms of supporting the writer's stance (along the obvious age and/or gender lines). This is upsetting me. How do I handle this, both emotionally and socially? [more inside]
posted by rue72 at 9:29 PM PST - 23 comments

Why are they pouring concrete through the front doors of these houses?

There is a new housing development being built on my way to work. Once every other week or so, as I drive by, I see a cement mixer backed up to the front door of one of the semi-finished houses, pouring concrete into the house. I would like to know why you would need to pour additional concrete after you've already built most of a house on top of the foundation. I see it often enough in this subdivision that I assume it's part of the procedure for all of the houses. [more inside]
posted by juliapangolin at 8:13 PM PST - 6 comments

Does 10% bleach solution damage silicone or not?

Soaking in 10% bleach solution is a very common recommendation for sanitizing silicone sex toys, but silicone menstrual cup manufacturers all seem to say not to use bleach to clean them. What's the deal - does 10% bleach solution damage silicone or not? I'm hoping someone with a materials science background can shed light on this. [more inside]
posted by needs more cowbell at 7:20 PM PST - 9 comments

PS4 won't recognize keyboard input inside applications

Two different regular wired USB keyboards of different ages and a Logitech Keys-to-Go bluetooth keyboard are easily recognized by my PS4, which has latest sw update. But - although I can navigate and launch apps from the highest level of the PS4 environment using the keyboards & arrow keys, none of them are recognized *inside* any of the applications. So they are not very useful. Same result regardless of which of the 2 usb ports on the PS4 I choose, rebooting, no difference. [more inside]
posted by bitterkitten at 7:10 PM PST - 0 comments

Reading about Canada's notwithstanding clause

I'm looking for recommendations on a good book on the Canadian constitution and/or the notwithstanding clause in particular.
posted by Chrysostom at 7:10 PM PST - 9 comments

Mutual Assured Bluetooth NonDiscovery

My bluetooth headphones can't discover the AV Receiver...and vice versa. [more inside]
posted by Quisp Lover at 6:44 PM PST - 3 comments

Best oncologist in Toronto - or elsewhere - for RCC?

Best oncologist in Toronto for renal cell carcinoma requested. As well, best such people anywhere in the US or Europe. [more inside]
posted by cotton dress sock at 6:19 PM PST - 2 comments

Help me learn about the Syrian culture through narrative books

I would like to learn more about Syrian culture as well as the Syrian war [more inside]
posted by winterportage at 6:19 PM PST - 5 comments

How do I vape - it can't be this hard?

Marjiuna is now legal in California. I have never smoked. I have never tried weed before. I was curious. I did some research, decide to start with vaping. Bought a and battery. Read the directions carefully. First effort, nothing happened. Second try, cough so hard that my throat was raw for hours afterwards. Clearly I'm doing something wrong - help me figure this out. [more inside]
posted by metahawk at 6:11 PM PST - 15 comments

Recover files off dead iPhone

I have an iPhone 5S that has a dead motherboard. There are photos on it that I would like to retrieve. Is that possible without spending $100s? [more inside]
posted by at home in my head at 3:54 PM PST - 4 comments

What is this music reminding me of?

This clip from the If Beale Street Could Talk score totally reminds me of...something, particularly 0:12 - 0:40ish. What is it reminding me of? Another film score from the past? Something out of classic rock? Something else? Help!
posted by BlahLaLa at 3:54 PM PST - 10 comments

How to put work out of your mind at the weekend?

So I’m under a lot of pressure at work right now, and this is leading to me constantly thinking about it and worrying, for example in the evenings and at the weekends. Looking for some tips to help me get on with my weekend without being preoccupied by work stress.
posted by EatMyHat at 3:30 PM PST - 14 comments

Looking for more bands like Metric

I love the band Metric. Who else sounds like them? [more inside]
posted by trillian at 2:24 PM PST - 24 comments

Help Me Be a Better-Organized Manager for My Growing Team

I'm pretty good with people (interviewing, talking to, colloborating) and I have a great manager myself, so there's lots of good feeling and communication happening in our group. My folks are skilled and professional. But I feel over my head! I started out managing 10 people and by the end of the year I will manage 16, plus about 8 contractors who handle our overflow. And that could continue to grow. They are mostly in my state but also in three others. [more inside]
posted by emjaybee at 2:17 PM PST - 7 comments

Systems that reliably evolve in similar ways (like stellar evolution)

Hivemind! :) I'm looking for examples of nature producing structure out of randomness, but especially in a complex, evocative, beautiful evolutionary process that reliably occurs, where you have initial conditions; based on those, X happens; based on X, Y happens; based on Y, Z happens, and so on. The best example I can think of is the evolution of stars: you have a molecular cloud which undergoes a particular evolutionary trajectory depending on its mass, and this happens reliably across the universe. Thanks in advance :)
posted by mrmanvir at 1:29 PM PST - 17 comments

Mysterious stains and smells in stored fabric

Yesterday while sorting some clothes and fabric bags in two separate closets, I discovered that a few random items have mysterious yellowish/brownish stains, and a VERY pungent odor. I don’t know about the stains, but the odor was not there mere hours before. I can rule out (for reasons explained within) urine from any of our pets. I am truly stumped! What could this be? And how do I prevent it in the future? [more inside]
posted by Dorinda at 1:11 PM PST - 4 comments

How do people identify themselves in countries without ID cards?

I am from a country (UK) in which people don't get issued ID cards. People from countries that do have ID cards are often shocked by this and ask me how people identify themselves, and to be honest I don't really know... [more inside]
posted by iamsuper at 1:07 PM PST - 27 comments

Looking for a tattoo artist who can work with scarred skin

I’d like to find a tattoo artist who’s skilled at tattoos that are meant to cover scars. [more inside]
posted by holborne at 12:25 PM PST - 9 comments

Low-effort summer solstice celebration with kids

I would like suggestions for easy activities or videos for a mellow summer solstice celebration with kids, ages 7 and 5. [more inside]
posted by medusa at 12:23 PM PST - 5 comments

A database lookup is a wish your heart makes

Please help me find out what I need to learn to make this database lookup project! [more inside]
posted by pH Indicating Socks at 12:06 PM PST - 15 comments

Vacation in France; questions about driving, etiquette, rideshare, etc.

We’re heading to France for ten days on Sunday and I just had a few questions that have been on my mind. For reference, we’re in Paris for about 2 days, a day trip to Strasbourg, and then 6 days in the Provence region. My sister-in-law speaks decent French so she can help with certain things (traffic signage, for example). [more inside]
posted by rbf1138 at 12:06 PM PST - 28 comments

My tattoo looked great after it healed, but now it looks... not great.

My five-month old tattoo looks dry, puckered, and shiny. How do I get it to look better? [more inside]
posted by joeyjoejoejr at 11:55 AM PST - 9 comments

Alas, poor tree!

Did I kill my favorite tree? [more inside]
posted by SLC Mom at 10:47 AM PST - 4 comments

Inserting a Blank Page

I've finished a book. As I've gone through it for the millionth time checking for mistakes, I realize there is no frontispiece. So I'm thinking I need to submit a revision, which is easy to do. [more inside]
posted by CollectiveMind at 10:45 AM PST - 3 comments

History of the treatment of psychic abilities in science fiction

I read a lot of vintage science fiction, and I've noticed a trend I'd like to explore further. In stories written in or around the 1970s, psychic abilities in humans are often treated as a legitimate scientific possibility based in human biology. In later stories, this isn't the case: the possibility of 'natural' psychic abilities in humans is treated as purely fantastical. I want to know more about when and how these shifts occurred. When and why did writers begin thinking of inherent psychic abilities as scientifically plausible? When and why did this stop? [more inside]
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:43 AM PST - 9 comments

Road trip relationship crisis

My partner and I fought on a road trip and I blew up at her. I feel horrible and in doubt about our relationship, and am trying to sort out what to do next. [more inside]
posted by myitkyina at 10:40 AM PST - 38 comments

What can cause tomatoes to stop ripening?

Last year, our tomatoes did wonderfully - until the end of summer, when they just stopped ripening. We had beautiful, healthy plants full of green tomatoes that stayed green. More details inside. [more inside]
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 10:21 AM PST - 5 comments

Can I hire someone to write an arrangement for me to play on piano?

I love the song "Pretty Ballerina" by Left Banke. I play the piano at a level above beginner, but not much. I can't find music for this song, not even music that's too hard for me. [more inside]
posted by FencingGal at 9:11 AM PST - 8 comments

Love is love, right? Why can't we say so in some LGBTQIA+ communities?

There's controversy in my city with some of the LGBTQIA+ groups now about who is allowed to say what. I get some of it but some of it is beyond my grasp. An example: straight people are being asked not to use the word "queer" due to a lot of perjorative use in the past and it being reclaimed by the LGBTQIA+ community. In many conversations it's being compared to the n word - I get it 100%. But why is "love is love" at all controversial? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 8:47 AM PST - 25 comments

What to expect at a medical malpractice trial....

After years of legal wrangling a malpractice lawsuit related to the death of my father seems to be going to trial next week. Could anyone offer any suggestions for what we should expect to see, hear maybe even feel during the trial? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 8:46 AM PST - 4 comments

Data Visualization to compare too many items

I need to build a chart that can clearly show 10 different values change over time , displaying them all simultaneously and I'm stumped for a way to do this that isn't immediately a hot mess. All values will be in roughly the same range. What's Tufte say we should be doing here?
posted by radiosilents at 7:55 AM PST - 23 comments

Safe Grill Brush

Please recommend what you are using as your safe grill brush to clean your grill grates when you are barbecuing.
posted by Tziv at 7:47 AM PST - 20 comments

ISO vacation tips for Finland in August

We (spouse & I) are looking at Finland as a summer vacation option, specifically the idea of renting a cabin by a lake in the area around Lappeenranta in late August. Have you ever done this or know anybody who did? What cool things did you do beyond enjoying nature and generally relaxing by the lake? [more inside]
posted by each day we work at 7:07 AM PST - 3 comments

Burnout and deadlines

Unavoidable work with brain on the blink. What do I do? Wall of text, with snowflakes, below. [more inside]
posted by Nieshka at 5:53 AM PST - 15 comments

more job search fun

Is it ok to send a temp agency a different version of my resume from what they already have? [more inside]
posted by thereemix at 5:38 AM PST - 4 comments

birthright birthleft birthnorth birthsouth

My wife and I are expecting our first child and we recently learned of Canada's birthright citizenship policy. We're wondering if this is something we should be thinking about or pursuing, and are seeking any information, factual or anecdotal, about the process, downsides, stigmas, etc. [more inside]
posted by taltalim at 5:25 AM PST - 22 comments

Can we eat this? Congee edition.

My boyfriend just finished cooking up a batch of congee. I went to try a spoonful and noticed something which didn't belong floating on top - a small piece of charcoal. Can we still eat this? [more inside]
posted by kinddieserzeit at 3:45 AM PST - 7 comments

June 20

Am I being an asshole if I ask a guest to leave? Reno complications

I've got a problem that involves my sabbatical, home renovations and hosting a group of non-paying temporary residents over the summer. My schedule has gone pear-shaped, and I'd like opinions on whether or not I can ask one of my guests to leave early or if I'm doomed to fucking live in a hotel room until my renos are done in order to make everything fit. Snowflake issues, long, complicated brain-freeze causing blizzard level ones, below the jump. [more inside]
posted by jrochest at 9:07 PM PST - 38 comments

Cute/clever ideas for laptop gift

I have bought my niece a laptop for her to use her final year of highschool and take to college. I'm currently setting up some software and optimizing it for her to use. She and I have a very similar sense of humor and I thought it'd be fun to throw some small things on there to make her smile. Obviously, I'm setting a wallpaper with a joke from our favorite show and am thinking of renaming the disk drive based on an inside joke. Does anyone have ideas for any other small things I can add/change to include a joke or reference?
posted by di11ihd at 8:17 PM PST - 12 comments

Which doctor do I see about this eating problem?

I'm an otherwise healthy adult who's been having trouble eating for months now. I can't tell if this is due to a physical problem, stress/anxiety, or all of the above. I've had little luck with any doctors I've seen about it. I don't know how to fix this or what kind of doctor could likely help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 5:56 PM PST - 25 comments

Source of this quote?

Looking for the author or source of this! [more inside]
posted by blaneyphoto at 5:31 PM PST - 2 comments

How do I instill good software development practices?

This is not the first time this has happened, but I am at a smaller software company that has a "hero" complex with developers. They believe agile is too hard and a waste of time and that just working through things is the way to go. I've worked at very large companies you've probably heard of and found things like sprint planning, backlog grooming, etc. aren't a waste of time and make everyone happy in the end. What's the best, most effective way to convince them to adopt agile concepts? [more inside]
posted by geoff. at 4:53 PM PST - 23 comments

Like this necklace but cheaper!

I really like this necklace. It is sterling silver, long and has a geometric, somewhat minimalist pendant. It seems versatile, and I would be able to wear it with jeans or when dressed up. The problem is that it is a wee bit out of my price range. Can you help me find something similar?
posted by nanook at 4:31 PM PST - 8 comments

How do I gently talk to my family doctor about her mistake?

My wonderful family doctor failed to realize that I'm going through early menopause. [more inside]
posted by dog-eared paperback at 3:24 PM PST - 17 comments

Help me tow a car behind a moving truck.

In a month or so, I will be moving from eastern MD to the Twin Cities, a two to three day drive. So I need to drive a small moving truck (10-12 feet) to Minnesota. I also need to get my Honda Civic there. The most efficient and lowest cost way to do this is to rent a tow dolly and pull the car behind the truck. I'm a little nervous. [more inside]
posted by Archipelago at 3:07 PM PST - 17 comments

vernacular architecture in japan

I was reading about machiya townhouses and minka farmhouses. Do you know of more resources on Japanese traditional and vernacular architecture, especially concerning thermal management and ventilation?
posted by the man of twists and turns at 3:04 PM PST - 4 comments

How do second opinions work? Cancer edition.

Sixteen treatments in on this Stage IV colon cancer journey and the numbers we see are disappointing. Different insurance in the new year means we have another opportunity for care. So how does that work? [more inside]
posted by AnOrigamiLife at 1:16 PM PST - 9 comments

EBike vs sweaty person

Two of the big things that have put me off cycling to work are (1) I hate uphills and everywhere is uphill both ways where I live and (2) I am a horribly sweaty person and there is nowhere to shower at work. I am thinking about an ebike as a solution to (1), but wondering if I'll still end up starting work a revolting sweaty mess. Ebike users: how much of a sweat do you raise? [more inside]
posted by Vortisaur at 12:48 PM PST - 16 comments

Billiards or Pool around Metrowest, MA

Hi folks! Last time I can find on AskMe that this was asked was more than ten years ago... I'm looking for good pool/billiards rooms, or bars that have multiple billiards tables, preferably around the Cambridge, Belmont, Arlington, Watertown, Waltham, Lexington area or inside the 128 belt, west and northwest of the city. I know of King's in Burlington (that's about as far-out as I'd want to travel from Belmont) and Flat-Top Johnny's in Cambridge/Kendall, but are there any other hidden gems between them? Thanks!
posted by not_on_display at 11:29 AM PST - 3 comments

Let me love you!

My partner and I adopted two youngish bonded cats. They are relatively skittish - I am looking for tips on bonding with them, in the hopes of future snuggles. Further snowflakes and cat tax inside. [more inside]
posted by hepta at 11:26 AM PST - 34 comments

Rewards for kids/teens that are not food

We have 3 teenagers in the house (the youngest "teen" is 12, but he's more teen than kid) and I need ideas for ways to motivate, reward, and celebrate things. Lately we've been buying and making a lot of sweets, and I would like to diversify the treat portfolio. [more inside]
posted by witchen at 11:24 AM PST - 33 comments

Help me find my perfect hanger

I have really specific desires for hangers and I cannot find exactly what I'm looking for, despite searching 10 pages deep on target, walmart, amazon, bed bath and beyond, the container store, etc. Can you help me find my dream hangers? [more inside]
posted by jouir at 11:06 AM PST - 4 comments

How do you display a bunch of logos?

Seeking a nice, professional-looking option for displaying 20-40 client logos on a wall. Expect regular rotation in and out. [more inside]
posted by you're a kitty! at 10:14 AM PST - 5 comments

4th of July: San Francisco Edition

I booked a room at the Grand Hyatt in SF for the 4th of July weekend. I live in San Jose area, so I am somewhat familiar with San Francisco. What are some off the beaten path places to visit or see? Food/bars? Night life? Are there fireworks that weekend or just on the 4th? We have plans to visit Hot Italian in Emeryville, but otherwise we are just looking to enjoy the city instead of our typical single objective-oriented travel.
posted by apex_ at 10:10 AM PST - 5 comments

Ear Protectors / Headphones for Talky Office

We have a talky office. Noise cancelling headphones tend to cancel constant sounds (droning, air conditioners). Ear protectors are bulky and sweaty. Music is distracting. What's the best technical solution for "I don't want to have to listen to my office neighbors talking"?
posted by musofire at 9:01 AM PST - 22 comments

Anyone feel like this after soldering?

I occasionally have a need to solder. When I do, I wear a paint and odour mask, I have the window open, I hold my breath when actually making the joint and I try not to have my face over the action! I also solder very seldom and for no more than about an hour at a time. [more inside]
posted by dance at 8:28 AM PST - 15 comments

Snap to, Firefox, snap to!

Can I get scrolling in Firefox (v67/Mac) to snap to the cursor position in the scrollbar? [more inside]
posted by Thorzdad at 8:17 AM PST - 6 comments

How to create a webpage with some simple scripting criteria?

I'd like to create a relatively simple web page that will be used to select choices from dropdown menus. Each dropdown menu will offer a specific set of choices based on what was selected in the dropdown menu above it. The final dropdown will contain items that the user can pick and the chosen items will be emailed to someone. [more inside]
posted by Quiscale at 8:16 AM PST - 4 comments

Cleaning Bathroom, No real ventilation

I have a bathroom with that probably requires bleach to clean ('non toxic' is not working), but I have two ventilation options: A door and a ceiling vent that goes somewhere but has no fan. What are my options for fairly safe ventilation? Do I run a desk fan in/out of the door?
posted by sandmanwv at 8:00 AM PST - 11 comments

Can neighbor knock down my encroaching wall?

My neighbors have just started demo on their steps and patio up to their front door. As part of some property line disputes (their chain link fence and decking in their back yard veers onto my property in places) we've had the properties surveyed and found that a three foot tall cinderblock/stucco wall that surrounds a patio area in my front yard encroaches onto their property by approx. 2 inches in the rear corner. This wall was built by the previous owner and the neighbors have remarked to me that they think it's unsightly. [more inside]
posted by newpotato at 6:26 AM PST - 11 comments

How can I change a relationship on LinkedIn Recommendation

A woman I know and like has asked me for a recommendation. Happy to do so! However, LinkedIn insists she was senior to me when we simply worked together. She doesn't know if she did that by mistake, but neither of us can seem to find any way to change or fix it. Any suggestions? [more inside]
posted by frumiousb at 3:14 AM PST - 2 comments

Help me drive a rental car in the UK and Ireland with a foreign license

So, I'm going to try this. I've read a bit, but actual confirmation would be awesome. [more inside]
posted by Gotanda at 12:13 AM PST - 11 comments

June 19

What should I get my MIL?

My mother-in-law's birthday is coming up. She is recently widowed. She is a professional artist. She enjoyed Charlie M. Holmberg's Paper Magician series (and the sequel Plastic Magician series so far). WE HAVE NO IDEAS. Give us ideas! [more inside]
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:37 PM PST - 21 comments

Moving and Apartment question

What should I know about living in a “garden” apartment? [more inside]
posted by pumpkinlatte at 7:33 PM PST - 24 comments

I need some film noir tough talk for my commute

It seems like maaaaaybe not the healthiest thing in the world how quickly I default to yelling a (not that imaginative) string of profanities at other drivers when they commit driving offenses against me (a perfect driver, as you might have guessed.) I'm trying to tone it down, or anyway tone it in some direction. [more inside]
posted by Smearcase at 6:28 PM PST - 27 comments

What to expect with Prednisone?

What are the likely side effects of a 14 day course of Prednisone (40 mg first week, then 20 mg for a week)? [more inside]
posted by dianeF at 6:27 PM PST - 37 comments

Bleak non-rhyming poem, by female poet, ends with phrase "Small world."

More than 10 years ago, I read a mercilessly hopeless poem by a female writer, in free verse or blank verse: it described the experience of being weighed down and worn away by dreary banalities and daily helplessness until your life is a tiny choking narrow barren place. Small world.
posted by nicebookrack at 6:19 PM PST - 3 comments

Stories of business failure

Like many people, I often daydream about quitting my boring office job and starting my own business. Also like many people, I don't ever actually do anything about it. I've realized that one of the biggest reasons why (aside from, you know, lack of cash lol) is because I'd be terrified of my business failing. [more inside]
posted by kevinbelt at 5:59 PM PST - 14 comments

Baddest boast of all time involving acorns

I'm trying to hunt down the source of a cool boast that has been stuck in my head for a while. I think the source comes from something in print, I don't remember it being spoken out loud not do I recall reading it from a screen, so a book is most likely. [more inside]
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 4:17 PM PST - 4 comments

Where to buy (womens) leather jacket in SF bay area

I just want a classic, black, leather jacket that will be with me for the next decade+. Right now, I have plans to try some on at All Saints. What other stores should I pop into? [more inside]
posted by blueberrypuffin at 3:50 PM PST - 8 comments

DSLR—mirrorless or not?

You have switched to a mirrorless DSLR from a traditional DSLR and have insight into whether this was a good move for you and why it was or was not. Please share. Thanks.
posted by MoonOrb at 3:39 PM PST - 23 comments

NYC: An Obstetrician Desert?

I need reccomendations for a good Obstetrician or midwife in NYC (42nd and lower or Brooklyn). For whatever reason the last 5 places I have contacted don't actually do obstetrics, are in the process of disbanding or don't take my insurance (BCBS). Please help! [more inside]
posted by KMoney at 3:33 PM PST - 8 comments

I should have done this years ago!

I'm looking for suggestions for changes in your life or home or work or whatever that seemed like small things but ended up being really impactful. Some examples within. [more inside]
posted by tocts at 12:49 PM PST - 123 comments

Best way to Amsterdam Schiphol Airport via public transportation?

We’re staying around the Ooterpark neighborhood, need to be at Schiphol Airport around 10 AM on Friday, we have tram cards available. What’s a good way to get there? Should we go to Central Station first and then...what? We’re taking flights via Alitalia (one of us) and Norwegian (the other).. Thanks!
posted by DMelanogaster at 12:47 PM PST - 8 comments

In the US, where do you suggest I get a mortgage?

I’d like to apply and have used banks before. What are options you have used?
posted by usermac at 12:42 PM PST - 20 comments

How does LTE divide up throughput?

How does LTE divide up throughput? I've searched but the explanations I've found are either so general they're devoid of content or so technical I don't understand. Is there a mechanism for the the tower to assign a certain amount of time/certain frequencies/ other means off distributing throughput to each connected device, or does each device just broadcast when it thinks the channel is free à la Wi-Fi?
posted by Tehhund at 12:40 PM PST - 5 comments

Did you hear that, Neil?

On July 20, 1969, approx. 20:00 UTC, How many spacecraft/ satellites were orbiting earth's moon?
posted by clavdivs at 11:29 AM PST - 12 comments

App and/or Website for tracking Vehicles of Interest

Does anyone have a good tool (app or website) that has helped collect and collate data when doing car research? [more inside]
posted by dgeiser13 at 10:29 AM PST - 0 comments

Going to a coffee/tea shop everyday

Is going to a coffee/tea shop to drink chai tea every day a good thing or bad thing? [more inside]
posted by ljs30 at 10:21 AM PST - 36 comments

Vacuum recommendations? (possibly two types needed)

Hi - we have some new vacuum needs (stairs and robot) and I wanted to check-in with AskMe for recommendations and maybe things I'm not thinking of. [more inside]
posted by JenMarie at 10:17 AM PST - 12 comments

Places to go near New Orleans in fall

I'm planning a trip to New Orleans in late October. I'll be there about a week, mainly to experience great food and music with friends. What should we do nearby? [more inside]
posted by DrumsIntheDeep at 9:45 AM PST - 10 comments

Whose signature is this?

Trying to figure out the name of an artist. The painting in question was a gift, purchased in the 80s either somewhere in Europe (with London a good possibility) or New York. I doubt it was super expensive at the time. Can’t help beyond that, sorry :/ Pic of signature inside. [more inside]
posted by cotton dress sock at 9:17 AM PST - 13 comments

Trades where you can still make a really good living

I work in tech and I’m paid very well. (Low 6 figures after 22 or so years) I don’t know if I want to do this forever. Am I trapped? Also I don’t / can’t drive, and I want to continue living in San Francisco. [more inside]
posted by flannel at 8:37 AM PST - 27 comments

Looking for Low-Stress/No-Stress Puzzle-Adventure Games for PC

I am looking for PC games similar to Eastshade. (Think: Myst, but not nearly as challenging.) I have searched the Google Machine, Steam Machine, and YouTube Machine, and while the results are sorta-related, the search algorithms aren't really paying attention to what I am looking for... [more inside]
posted by TinWhistle at 5:54 AM PST - 14 comments

What are the basic knowledge blocks of skincare?

I recently put some effort into learning the Curly Girl method and related info about caring for curly hair. The basic knowledge blocks have been more useful than specific advice, product recs, etc. (Examples inside.) What's the equivalent for skincare? [more inside]
posted by bellebethcooper at 4:36 AM PST - 19 comments

June 18

Should I cancel my summer vacation?

Warning: I probably sound like a bratty child. My mother had a sudden "health issue" and now needs further testing to figure out what is going on. We're not close, for a variety of reasons, but I'm her primary "caregiver" in a sense. I have a vacation planned for the first two weeks of August, and I don't know if I should plan to cancel my trip or not. I don't want to cancel it, but I can't decide. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:12 PM PST - 33 comments

NSFW: What's the best harness for use with a strapon?

I have a strapon (feeldoe stout) and I need a harness. I'm larger and I don't want to spend more money than I have to but I want something that will be comfortable and work well. What should I get?
posted by anonymous at 11:12 PM PST - 8 comments

Help us PrEP for our newly-open relationship.

My partner (M/M) and I are happily opening up our (sexual) relationship after four years. This is a PrEP question. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:11 PM PST - 7 comments

How to deal with items damaged by battery corrosion

I am preparing to take some old batteries to the recycling center. Some corrosion from the batteries got on several other items, how to dispose of these? Also, does anyone know of a charity in Berkeley that needs old sheets? [more inside]
posted by Surprised By Bees at 10:09 PM PST - 10 comments

Like Spotify for books

As part of an exhibition in a library, we would like to provide a way for visitors to quickly and easily access a manually curated list of the books the library holds on a particular topic. Ideally we would save the permalinks to each of about 10 holdings to a list in an online service and then provide a QR code going to that list. What service or app should I be looking at for this? [more inside]
posted by lollusc at 7:27 PM PST - 9 comments

Discussion of artistic processes from marginalised communities

I LOVED this behind-the-scenes documentary of Eugene Lee Yang's coming-out dance video and especially appreciated the discussion mid-video about the trickiness of getting people engaged in such a personal project as well as doing all the outside logistical work in addition to the creative work. What are some other sources (writing, video, audio, anything) of other creatives talking about similar matters, especially those from marginalised communities?
posted by divabat at 6:59 PM PST - 3 comments

Neighbors need to breach party wall agreement - options?

We have a side-by-side, two-story duplex (i.e. semi-detached home). Our wonderful neighbors need to move out of state and are closing on the house. Hail damage means we're replacing our collective roof. They also need⁠—as part of closing⁠—to replace the gutters. We're not replacing ours which means we will be mismatched. We have a party-wall agreement that forbids this. What to do? [more inside]
posted by NailsTheCat at 6:53 PM PST - 29 comments

Connecting old 8mm camcorder to modern TV

I'm trying to connect an old Sony 8mm camcorder to my shiny new TV and need to know how to make them be friends. [more inside]
posted by rachaelfaith at 6:51 PM PST - 11 comments

Incredible festivals around the world!

I'm trying to plan a Summer 2020 trip. I am thinking of incorporating a couple amazing festivals in our travels. (Inspired by a Reddit post on Bloemencorso Zundert) Assume there's nowhere in the world we don't want to visit but that a 12 year old will be with us. What are some incredible annual events we could go see? [more inside]
posted by beccaj at 6:25 PM PST - 9 comments

Struggling with attraction to co-worker

There is a guy at work that I am attracted to and whose body language says he is interested in me too. Awkwardly, I am in the process of getting divorced. I'd like to respond to his signs of interest but am highly unsure how to do so (among other things). [more inside]
posted by ShyGirl99 at 6:14 PM PST - 26 comments

What do I need to know about sewing stretchy fabrics 101

Sewers, (I mean seamstresses, not pootubes), I have lost weight due to thyroid meds and I'm thinking about doing stuff with my many t-shirts that now expose great expanses of my bra. But I have in my mind that one needs an overlocker to sew stretchy fabric, and I don't think I'm ready to buy something that I have to find storage for, that I might use once a year. [more inside]
posted by b33j at 5:15 PM PST - 16 comments

Do I need to paint floor first?

I am having the carpet torn out of one room and replaced with 3/4" hardwood plank flooring. The carpet has a considerable amount of dog urine damage. One person has told me that the installer should paint the plywood subfloor with Kilz primer first to contain the urine odor. [more inside]
posted by Rad_Boy at 4:51 PM PST - 17 comments

What can happen on my special-use Android 6.0?

I have an Android 6.0 tablet that I really want to use for reading and notetaking. I have a dedicated Google account so the tablet can use Drive/Docs, a dedicated Dropbox account, Kindle, Scribd, Pocket, the library app Libby, and, very occasionally, the browser. My Amazon account has two-factor sign in. If those are the only Android apps I use on the tablet, what should I be thinking about/worrying about? Are some of those apps more vector-of-contagioney than others (i.e. the browser)? And would an Android antivirus program help? [more inside]
posted by hungrytiger at 4:38 PM PST - 4 comments

New Windows 10 computer won't install CCleaner....

I can't get it to install on my brand new Dell Windows 10 beast! [more inside]
posted by randomfan at 4:19 PM PST - 3 comments

Ordering glasses online: Prism edition

I just dropped $300 on an eyeglasses prescription. I'm feeling ripped off (though I know that's pretty standard). I'd like to order a spare online, but I have bifocals AND a prism. Is buying online a bad idea? How do I know the company (Zenni, Warby Parker, whatever) got the prescription correct, besides the obvious and trying them on? I know a ton of people do this, but how do you actually get it right? Especially with bifocals? [more inside]
posted by onecircleaday at 4:19 PM PST - 11 comments

Seeking: drafts of speeches etc in case of failure

I'm looking for more examples of drafts of speeches or letters or press releases prepared in advance of some operation/event, in case of failure. [more inside]
posted by Cozybee at 3:58 PM PST - 4 comments

Severe anxiety after a weekend of drinking?

I'm a mostly infrequent drinker -- 1-2 glasses of wine or cocktails with friends; I'll go weeks and weeks without any alcohol at all. This past weekend, due to a packed social schedule, I drank 2 cocktails on Friday, a half of a bottle of wine on Saturday and a ~lot~ on Sunday. Today (Tues) I got walloped by a long-lasting wave of "EVERYTHING IS DOOMED" anxiety. I recently cut out coffee because it was making me anxious. Could a high number of drinks have the same effect? If you have anxiety, how does alcohol affect you? [more inside]
posted by rogerroger at 3:31 PM PST - 28 comments

Are there benches at the top of Mohegan Bluffs on Block Island, RI?

Are there benches at the top of Mohegan Bluffs on Block Island? If some people want to wait at the top while other people climb down, is there a waiting place?
posted by bleep at 3:16 PM PST - 2 comments

Tips for a first-time panel moderator?

I’ve been asked to moderate a panel at an upcoming conference on environmental policymaking. I’ve attended many of these conferences as an audience member, but I’ve never been a presenter or a moderator. Any advice from people who’ve done this job in the past? [more inside]
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 3:03 PM PST - 17 comments

Radicalization intervention? US CisHetWhiteMale edition

A young friend has shared that their high school aged brother has been increasingly angry recently, and their parents seem to be in denial. Any resources for a slightly older sibling to help scoop this young man back from the abyss of toxicity? Or at least to keep herself safe? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 3:02 PM PST - 11 comments

Floss tastes strongly of pickles. Dill pickles. Why?

I bought some Oral-B Essential Floss that claims to be mint-flavored. That's a lie, all I can taste is pickles. This is putting a slight damper on my flossing routine, but mostly it sends me to bed every night thinking, 'why pickles?!?'. Do you have this floss, and can you taste the pickles? Does anyone know how artificial mint flavor could end up coming across as a freshly opened jar of dill pickles? [more inside]
posted by Behemoth, in no. 302-bis, with the Browning at 2:03 PM PST - 5 comments

How have you approached moving up versus staying put in your job?

I'm curious to hear what your thoughts are one's skills as an individual contributor versus climbing the ladder into management. [more inside]
posted by Borborygmus at 1:52 PM PST - 6 comments

Nordic Cruise Advice?

Looking to do a Nordic cruise destination next year, 2 adults and 2 kids (5 & 1.5). 7-12 days. Any specific suggestions or tips? [more inside]
posted by St. Peepsburg at 12:09 PM PST - 5 comments

be my network admin for a day

Is there a way to make a local network with a hotspot from a phone, or that free-flowing xfinity wifi? Without adding another service? [more inside]
posted by jeweled accumulation at 11:18 AM PST - 13 comments

How to set up non-profit advocacy emails

I'd like to set up a page where we can have people contact (via email) their representatives in government about specific issues, using Squarespace. [more inside]
posted by j810c at 10:49 AM PST - 7 comments

Reasons to attend therapy more than once a week?

I've been assessing various therapy options in my area, as there's a bunch of issues I want to work on now my 40th birthday is approaching. An initial consultation with the director of one therapy centre has led to him recommending either a TWICE-weekly group psychotherapy session or a THRICE-weekly individual psychotherapy session - both with a two-year minimum commitment. Have you found benefit from such intensive programmes? How do the outcomes differ from regular weekly sessions / shorter term commitments? [more inside]
posted by doornoise at 9:08 AM PST - 28 comments

What are good resources for learning about data science?

I would like to learn more about data science to use it in my freelance marketing work. Do you have any recommendations for good resources I could use to do this? [more inside]
posted by miltthetank at 9:07 AM PST - 9 comments

What to play on a Switch

My wife gave me a Nintendo Switch for my birthday! Yay!! I have little experience with video games. What should I play? Low-violence games good. I like puzzles and narrative. [more inside]
posted by latkes at 9:06 AM PST - 34 comments

Recommendation for sliding scale therapist in Chicago?

Looking for a sliding scale/affordable therapist that ideally specializes in depression and maybe career counseling.
posted by ohsnapdragon at 8:58 AM PST - 1 comment

In search of cork board for a narrow wall area

I want to cover an approx 2’x5’ wall area with cork board. It needs to be thick enough to handle push pins, and mounted in a way that won’t screw up the paint on the wall. The space is too narrow for readymade bulletin boards. Has anyone had experience using adhesive cork squares on a wall? I’ve read mixed reviews on these. Other ideas are welcomed. Thanks!
posted by bookmammal at 8:54 AM PST - 8 comments

Ego/Expectations Management: Help me not fret about a change in title

I am currently the co executive director of a small education non-profit. Before this I was the literacy director for a large middle school. Since January, I've been looking to return to interesting, district based work and I just accepted a great position. The work is challenging and awesome. The district is fairly functional. My boss seems like a reasonable person. But for the first time in a decade my title is not at the director or even manager level. And...it's really getting under my skin. I think I need some help re-framing. [more inside]
posted by jeszac at 8:51 AM PST - 8 comments

What good is my new gigabit internet connection?

I got a free upgrade to gigabit internet. Yay! Well, maybe yay? I'm trying to figure out what this new internet speed allows me to do that I couldn't before, or why a normal person would need or even want this shiny new service. [more inside]
posted by FakeFreyja at 8:15 AM PST - 15 comments

Transitioning into social work for a career but lacking licensing

Interesting in hearing from Mefi's who are social workers, MF therapists, etc. with tips on how to transition into the social work field prior to getting my licensing and still pursuing my undergrad degree. What resources should I be utilizing to create a solid network, obtain paraprofessional positions in the field, etc? [more inside]
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 7:43 AM PST - 5 comments

Food media sources?

What food media sources and voices do you follow? [more inside]
posted by veggieboy at 7:28 AM PST - 21 comments

June 17

Training or job searching for middle aged folks and tech

What to do when you're older, unemployed and looking to get into tech? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:05 PM PST - 12 comments

Wrestling my nemesis: opaque executive expectations

I’m a mid-to-senior level professional in the digital space, and am struggling once again with a problem I have encountered a few times over, say, 15 years: the gap between what I understand about my job and the expectations of executive leadership. I don’t know whether this is common, normal, a me problem, and most importantly what to do about it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:04 PM PST - 6 comments

What's the Fort Bragg/Mendocino of ... uh ... upstate New York?

We're moving far away from our favorite low-key vacation spot. Where can we check some of the same boxes within 3-4 hours' drive from Binghamton, NY? [more inside]
posted by wintersweet at 10:56 PM PST - 18 comments

How did they do washing stuff in old Japan?

Clothes and food stuff, specifically. [more inside]
posted by KChasm at 9:13 PM PST - 6 comments

Give me your history of the cornichon martini.

And by extension the pickleback, etc. etc. I am fond of a Gibson cocktail, provided with the proper onions (a number of places do their own fridge pickly-type onion, to which I say yech. A trio of properly pickled cocktail onions for me thanks. Thanks again.) But a longstanding fave of mine is similar tipple garnished with a gherkin of the kuehne or the Turkish variety. And it occurs to me that clear alcohols, vinegars, and various forms of pickle go together quite logically. [more inside]
posted by aspersioncast at 8:47 PM PST - 6 comments

Can you help me identify the Japanese temple(s) my grandfather visited?

He took two photographs of temples when he was in Japan in 1945. I would love to know which temple(s). I don't know any more except that he was on the USS Knudson. [more inside]
posted by jefficator at 8:21 PM PST - 5 comments

Robot Leg Success Hacks

Hey guys, I have a titanium rod and steel plate in my right leg as of 3 weeks ago. This was a gruesome accident followed by emergency surgery while vacationing far away from home. Help me figure out how to live with this and prepare for things I don't know to expect. [more inside]
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 6:22 PM PST - 13 comments

Cell Phone service off northern coast of Norway, how does it work?

My friend and I took a cruise this last winter along the northern Norwegian coast from Tromsø to Kirkenes. Ostensibly, the purpose was to see the Northern lights but mostly it was a lark (FWIW, we did see the lights on the very last day in Kirkenes, so yea!). My question is, why did my cellphone work when at sea? [more inside]
posted by sjswitzer at 6:20 PM PST - 11 comments

Mask MetaFilter

In plays set in Restoration England, I sometimes read of people, particularly women, going about masked. But not at masquerade balls — just out on the town. Was this a common thing? [more inside]
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 6:17 PM PST - 4 comments

Take steak camping

I have two raw steaks in my freezer. They're seasoned and ready for the sous vide. Here's my plan: cook them in the sous vide, straight from the freezer, at 135 degrees for 2 1/2 hours. Remove them from the sous vide, let them cool, and put them in the fridge. [more inside]
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:14 PM PST - 24 comments

Costco eye services for non-members technicality?

I'm a nonmember who tags along with parents to shop at Costco. There I was able to have a regular eye exam but was then immediately denied a contact lens fitting. The independent optometrists at my local Costco (Canada, B.C.) literally that I should be able to receive a cons fitting for an added $25, I just can't purchase any lens products, while the Costco/opticians side says I must present a membership card to do anything. Of course I could borrow a family member's card but that's beside the point. My question is, what is Costco's actual system here? [more inside]
posted by polymodus at 4:42 PM PST - 7 comments

Way to get weather forecast by latitude and longitude?

I need a solution to this problem: I often camp, say, at least an hour away from the closest town/hamlet/configuration of permanent domiciles. In Colorado, that also often means camping at a very different altitude from said town, so the nearest weather forecast is useless. I need to be able to look up the weather forecast by latitude and longitude for actual accuracy. Does such a thing exist out there?
posted by sugarbomb at 4:34 PM PST - 10 comments

Where can I see examples of photos and video of radical street art?

Does anyone know any good Twitter or Instagram accounts of radical street art, graffiti, stickers, propaganda, etc.? I'm looking for stuff on the streets, in use, in marches, tagged, etc.
posted by crocodiletsunami at 3:54 PM PST - 3 comments

Portable, delicious food

Next Sunday, I am in charge of dinner for me and my man-friend. There are requirements and beanplating inside. [more inside]
posted by Medieval Maven at 3:21 PM PST - 27 comments

Dropbox Camera Uploader for MacOS... without Dropbox?

The recent changes to Dropbox made me reconsider paying for it. Is there a standalone app that replicates its camera import and upload functionality? [more inside]
posted by holgate at 2:43 PM PST - 5 comments

Gamify board strategic planning?

I need short group games for adults that emphasize process-oriented strategic problem solving. Cooperative games with quick set-up and play especially desired. [more inside]
posted by klangklangston at 2:31 PM PST - 11 comments

Could I move to London or Oxford without a job

I've been looking for a book design job in London or Oxford for the past year and, while I've had around 12 interviews, I haven't had any offers. I'm currently freelancing while living with my parents in Dorset, and I feel like my life is on hold until I can move out. [more inside]
posted by Chenko at 2:27 PM PST - 10 comments

Brake fluid level on a borrowed car

I'm storing/borrowing my friend's car, and the brake fluid reservoir is filled almost to the brim. What do I do about this? [more inside]
posted by pykrete jungle at 2:09 PM PST - 4 comments

sweets for summer snackin

I'm looking for summer dessert ideas that are elegant in their simplicity. Something a bit unexpected, maybe just a smidge on the fancy side – but not too fussy or overdone. (This is for an upcoming potluck.) [more inside]
posted by escape from the potato planet at 1:27 PM PST - 37 comments

Help me help my plants

I have two questions, one more general, and more specific. The general question is: How can I learn to take good care of my plants? The specific question is: What's wrong with my prayer plant with yellowing leaves? [more inside]
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 12:47 PM PST - 16 comments

Eating on Cape Cod with vegetarians and kids

Looking for recommendations for dinner spots within a reasonable drive of Chatham, MA that will appear to both vegetarians and kids (and vegetarian kids). We've already got a pizza place lined up, so non-pizza recommendations will be especially valuable. Thanks, hivemind!
posted by ryanshepard at 11:59 AM PST - 3 comments

Texas Tattoo Artists

I'm looking for recommendations for tattoo artists in the DFW, Austin, or Houston areas with some specific guidance. [more inside]
posted by cmoj at 11:19 AM PST - 4 comments

Night Markets in Germany and Austria

I’d like to take my mom (70) to the night markets this holiday season. Looking for the best options. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by mrfuga0 at 9:51 AM PST - 3 comments

Where can I turn for help planning a complicated trip?

I'm planning a family reunion and there are just so many variables that it's making my head spin. I need to find a place in the Caribbean that has reasonable airfares and reasonable rates for the specific types of lodging we need. But rather than going island by island, searching airfares and then lodging, I'd love to know if there's a service or a site that can do some of the heavy lifting for me. Is this what a travel agent can help with? If so, how do I choose a good travel agent?
posted by Anonymousness at 9:34 AM PST - 5 comments

Going to Umbria to lie in the sun and forget all my troubles!

I'm going to the Umbria/Tuscan region of Italy next week. I will be taking day trips to Gubbio and Perugia. Any advice for things to see or do? [more inside]
posted by silverstatue at 9:14 AM PST - 2 comments

Old dog, kidney disease, & options

My senior dog’s kidney disease is acting up again. Do I do fluid therapy and hospitalization? [more inside]
posted by inevitability at 7:39 AM PST - 18 comments

Birthday getaway within 5-hour drive of Philly

I'm turning 30 in a month or so, and I'd like to plan a 2-3 night getaway for the beginning of August. Criteria inside. [more inside]
posted by coppermoss at 7:38 AM PST - 7 comments

How do I learn to like myself?

I hate myself - I hate that I envy my friends, hate that I have a fear of missing out on information to the extent that it paralyzes my life and means I never actually DO anything. I hate my depression, hate that I have been taking antidepressants for 15 years and am no better, hate that spending time with my own family makes me uncomfortable, hate that I have zero ambition to get out of the dead end job I hate. [more inside]
posted by mrbenn at 6:25 AM PST - 23 comments

48 Hours in Newcastle?

I booked my Hadrian's Wall trip this summer. (With Contours, so thanks for that recommendation!) I decided to spend 48 hours in Newcastle from 2-4 July before I meet my friend to begin the hike. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by frumiousb at 5:17 AM PST - 11 comments

Things to do with a five year old in Austria

We're planning a trip to Austria in August. We plan to stay around three days each in Vienna, Salzburg, and Innsbruck. We've found based on past trips that things work best if we get an early start to our day, do one big thing that interests everyone, take a coffee break, have a late lunch, then head back to the hotel for some downtime in the afternoon. My daughter and wife aren't huge on extended trips to museums or galleries. All of us enjoy concerts, although they're best if short for the kid. Adventure playgrounds, swimming, and climbing walls rate very highly. Light hiking is great; we'd though about taking a funicular up a mountain, then walking part way down. I'd be grateful for recommendations!
posted by sincarne at 5:10 AM PST - 13 comments

“Winner take all.”

I’m looking for a delightfully preposterous scene from a 1970s or 1980s martial arts movie. Detailed (but almost certainly partially misremembered) recollections within. [more inside]
posted by cheapskatebay at 5:03 AM PST - 3 comments

Where to stop with a toddler in Western MA?

We are driving from Boston to Western MA (Lenox) with our 2-year-old. Any recommendations for pit stops along the way? [more inside]
posted by Bebo at 4:50 AM PST - 11 comments

Why does a weekly email from Flickr arrive a little later each year?

I’ve had a Flickr account in gadzoinks, probably since 2005 or 6. One thing I’ve noticed is that during that through the years the “new posts from friends” email has slowly drifted from arriving on Thursday, to Friday, Saturday, Sunday and now comes on Monday. Does anyone happen to know why that’s happened? As in, what programming choice, or variable, has led to this slow drift.
posted by Kattullus at 4:27 AM PST - 3 comments

[Syllabi planning filter] Teaching a plethora of globalizations

I'm teaching two undergrad level courses in the fall: globalization and international political economy. There will be considerable content and student enrollment overlap. How can I structure the courses to minimize repetition whilst staying sane? More details within... [more inside]
posted by wallawallasweet at 2:26 AM PST - 6 comments

June 16

How do I navigate this issue with my relationship with my parents?

My parents, wonderful people that they are, cannot seem to respect my decisions as an adult. How can I respond in a way that preserves our relationship while also respecting my needs? [more inside]
posted by aquamvidam at 11:57 PM PST - 34 comments

Vitamins, Supplements and Spectracell Testing

I’m concerned that I’m not getting the proper nutrition and would like to start taking vitamins. One of my doctor’s suggested I get a Spectracell test. Does anyone have experience with Spectracell, and if not, can you tell me how you came to terms with a vitamin/supplement regime that works for you? [more inside]
posted by htm at 11:01 PM PST - 19 comments

Building credit score 2019 edition

Someone close to me is looking to rebuild their credit score after 10 years of never having credit cards. They mentioned setting up an authorized user, which I have heard of before. Does this still work in 2019? [more inside]
posted by pwnguin at 10:49 PM PST - 4 comments

durable, cleanable, quiet whole-house window fan?

I want to put a large fan into my kitchen window to blow hot air out of the apartment and draw cooler outside air in through other windows in the apartment. Looking for product recommendations and advice for removing the inevitable layer of kitchen grease. [more inside]
posted by meaty shoe puppet at 9:27 PM PST - 5 comments

Babymooning in Chincoteague Island!!

I just booked a babymoon for the first week of July in Chincoteague Island!! Fwiw I'll be 29 weeks pregnant. What should I do there!? I am sooo excited! Food, nature, kayaking, beach, horses, walking around town all sounds delightful. I'm ok for slow physical exertion but do have weak spells so will skip anything rough.
posted by cacao at 8:34 PM PST - 7 comments

Uber and Lyft rides i didn't request?

Couple weeks ago a Lyft driver showed up at my house looking for me, saying i requested a ride to a place about 20 miles away I'd never been to. I deleted Lyft and wrote off the $5 cancel they charged to my venmo. Just now I picked up my phone randomly to see the Uber app open. Kareem is on the way to take me to a place less than a mile away. Huh? [more inside]
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 8:28 PM PST - 9 comments

What was up with this egg?

Can’t believe I’m asking this, but I haven’t been able to find an answer. I’m relatively new to eating eggs, didn’t touch them for pretty much my whole life. Decided to make scrambled eggs this morning, grabbed an egg, and cracked it on the side of a bowl. However, it didn’t crack, but instead got some impact damage. I opened it with my hands and the inside was a solid orange mass. Didn’t look at it too closely. So... what was up with this egg? Thought it might be frozen, but 2 others eggs were fine.
posted by Automocar at 6:23 PM PST - 6 comments

Non-voca; scratch track for a film

I’m trying to experiment with scratch music for a film, to get a direction before hiring a composer. I’m looking for simple, minimal music with no vocals. But I don't want just long drones. Any soundtracks or other music that comes to mind?
posted by captainscared at 5:26 PM PST - 2 comments

Where can I shop for a wearable avant garde outfit?

I have a fundraiser event to attend in July which has an avant-garde theme/dress code. The event will take place outdoors during the day in New Orleans. I am in the process of making a very large elaborate headpiece which will involve feathers and flowers, but I'm stumped on how to put together an "avant-garde" outfit or where to shop for the actual clothing. [more inside]
posted by tryniti at 5:12 PM PST - 9 comments

Not so simple video editing question

I need to create a video that shows excerpts from two videos side-by-side. What seems like it should be a simple task is looking impossible due to limitations of the tools I have available. How to proceed? [more inside]
posted by Winnie the Proust at 5:09 PM PST - 10 comments

oh how silly

is it worth trying to resubmit my resume in this situation? [more inside]
posted by thereemix at 3:12 PM PST - 4 comments

Basement drywall repair / vapor barrier question

I am patching a hole in the drywall in the basement; should I also fix the vapor barrier behind the wall? Or nah? [more inside]
posted by Mid at 2:50 PM PST - 3 comments

The Best Hummus Recipe

It's that time of year when no cook recipes rule. [more inside]
posted by miss-lapin at 2:07 PM PST - 14 comments

US Parks off grid driving app released, but I CANT FIND IT!

OK, this is driving me nuts and I know deep in my heart I will find an answer here. About 10 ago I saw a review for a new ios app that would allow for mapping and creating itineraries for off road, unmarked driving in US Parks (not sure if it was National or State or both?) [more inside]
posted by silsurf at 1:47 PM PST - 5 comments

How much money is my SF landlord paying to have the backyard cleared?

I rent an apartment in a small apartment building with a big, overgrown backyard. Every year or so, the landlord hires guys to come clear out the overgrowth. He always seems annoyed and put out whenever he finally gets around to doing this. I get the impression it costs him more than he wants to pay. [more inside]
posted by buddylove at 11:33 AM PST - 13 comments

Display WordPress custom field content without messing around in code

Is there a plugin that will automate the display of custom fields on my wordpress site so I don't have to fuss with making a child theme? [more inside]
posted by bleep at 11:18 AM PST - 10 comments

Transport a cat internationally in hot weather

A friend of mine is moving and trying to figure out how to transport her cat from New Orleans to London, England in August. But she's running into difficulty because the airlines won't transport animals in the hold in hot weather. Are there any solutions we're not thinking of? [more inside]
posted by hazyjane at 10:37 AM PST - 12 comments

Help me find drawing about not celebrating Mother's Day?

For a few years, I've noticed around Mother's Day in the USA people sharing a drawing that describes people who might not want to celebrate Mother's Day. Can you help me find that drawing? (extended description of drawing inside) [more inside]
posted by 23skidoo at 10:27 AM PST - 2 comments

Best simple database

Looking for a very low cost database to replace a massive spreadsheet of names and contact information. [more inside]
posted by latkes at 10:02 AM PST - 13 comments

Entry-Level Freelance Writing Gigs?

I need to take a baby step into kickstarting a writing career. Help me find easy cheeseball things to start on and get my feet wet again. [more inside]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:49 AM PST - 10 comments

Are fingernails (spec. lines) a sign of health issues?

Does your state of health show up in fingernail health/appearance? e.g. easily broken? lines?
posted by ebesan at 9:05 AM PST - 8 comments

Chrome Autocomplete Woes

How do I keep Chrome from suggesting my most recent search terms instead of a frequently visited site? [more inside]
posted by cozenedindigo at 9:03 AM PST - 5 comments

Mentor/protégée stories

I’m looking for positive fictional stories of mentors and protégées. I’m not necessarily looking for stories of teachers and students, but 1:1 mentorships that bring out the best in both parties.
posted by pxe2000 at 7:25 AM PST - 10 comments

Outdoor focused Pacific Northwest road trip

We're planning a roadtrip! Roughly, Bend OR --> Columbia River Gorge --> Olympic National Park -->Squamish, BC --> Seattle. If you're familiar with that part of the world, please pick apart/augment my plans within. [more inside]
posted by geegollygosh at 7:18 AM PST - 13 comments

Can a user stay logged out of Office 365?

My partner just started a new job at Big Company that uses Office 365. If you're using 365, your name will show up on the top right hand side of every document. You can logout but the system will automatically log you back in if you open another file. Is it possible to stay logged out? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 6:53 AM PST - 7 comments

Social Security and Your Retirement

For those of you who have some kind of retirement plan in place, how does Social Security fit into it? Or, if you are retired and drawing Social Security: How is it working out? Do you expect to make any changes in the upcoming years? (Yes, this is a rather US-centric question, I’m sorry). [more inside]
posted by doctor tough love at 6:19 AM PST - 25 comments

How can I channel and release constant feelings of anger and hurt?

I feel doomed to be an angry, bitter person for the rest of my life – and I don’t want that. I’m looking for reassurance that I’m not the only one who struggles with issues with expressing anger, and any tips for channeling and releasing this feeling would be so helpful. [more inside]
posted by koolaidnovel at 2:49 AM PST - 16 comments

June 15

What the hell did I just see in the sky?

What did I just see flashing almost directly overhead? About 2235CDT, I was letting the whiney dog out and saw something flash almost overhead in my peripheral vision. I thought it was a meteor, but about 15-20 seconds later I saw it again. [more inside]
posted by notsnot at 9:16 PM PST - 8 comments

Fighting U.S. concentration camps

Are any organizations fighting against the U.S. concentration camps? I am thinking of through courts or protests. I would like to support that effort through donations or otherwise. I am a U.S. citizen, in case that makes any difference. [more inside]
posted by NotLost at 8:49 PM PST - 4 comments

How can I learn to be less set in my ways?

How can I learn to be less set in my ways? [more inside]
posted by unicorn chaser at 4:42 PM PST - 14 comments

Surely there is an app for this

I am looking for an iOS app that will let me log housework tasks as I complete them - a reverse to-do list. [more inside]
posted by Catseye at 4:19 PM PST - 12 comments

Family activities for toddler and adult who can't walk far: Toronto

I'm looking for family activities and outings for a toddler and a grandma who can't walk much due to rheumatoid arthritis. Both a-few-hour things and day long things. Both categories/ideas and specific location suggestions welcome. Bonus points for things open both weekends and weekdays. [more inside]
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 1:01 PM PST - 12 comments

Is it possible to decolonize a Hawaiian vacation?

How can we plan a Hawaiian vacation for a family of four, in a way that most respects the native people of Hawaii, their culture and environment? [more inside]
posted by amoeba at 11:34 AM PST - 7 comments

Dual Citizen, which passport do I use in London Heathrow Airport

My children and I are dual citizen. German and American. We are flying from Austin, TX to Munich, Germany with a connecting flight in London, UK. I know I have to show my American Passport here in Austin and immigrate with the German Passport in Munich. Which passport do I show in London?
posted by Master Gunner at 11:24 AM PST - 9 comments

Covering or repairing cat damage to couch

Remember the couch that I carefully purchased that color coordinates so well with our cats? Well, the cats have enjoyed the couch a bit too much, and we didn't act in time to prevent lots of couch damage. How should we repair and/or cover over this, and prevent further damage? Ideally, we'd like to return it to pre-scratch condition, but I realize that may not be possible. [more inside]
posted by slidell at 10:45 AM PST - 5 comments

Pneumonia - The Old Person's Friend?

Anything that helped you or a loved one survive after a severe bout of pneumonia? [more inside]
posted by kestralwing at 10:36 AM PST - 20 comments

The debt mountain is gone. What next?

After struggling for more than a decade with crazy-expensive medical issues, we’re finally debt-free and consistently making more money than we spend. Now we’re trying to figure out how to arrange our finances — and how to plug the gaping holes (retirement! college! home ownership!) that we simply weren’t able to tackle previously. Now that the debt mountain is gone, how should we prioritize? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 10:13 AM PST - 16 comments

Best way to record an interview?

I need to record an interview that might run about 3 hours. I want to ensure good sound quality and I also want to make sure that whatever I'm using doesn't crap out midway through. Should I use an app on my iPhone? Or should I get a small digital recorder? Personal recommendations highly appreciated. Also, if one method or another lends itself to easier transcription, that would be helpful too. I have no idea about any of this. Thanks!
posted by swheatie at 9:48 AM PST - 9 comments

On a weekend rendezvous, maybe?

For reasons, I'm trying to remember a song (a) who's title was quite possibly "weekend rendezvous" or who's lyrics prominently featured the phrase, (b) was at it's most 'popular' in the late 80s or maybe early 90s, (c) would have been heard by teenagers into "alternative" music around Minneapolis (and maybe beyond?), (d) is definitely not the 70s song of the same name by Racing Cars. Because my Google-fu has let me down, I suspect either it was an obscurish band or a total figment of my imagination. Please help.
posted by TheShadowKnows at 8:47 AM PST - 7 comments

How to find an Instagram ad I lost OR how to find a dress

Instagram showed me an ad of something I wanted to purchase. I clicked through to the link, put it in my cart, and accidentally x-ed out of it. I can’t remember the name of the company, only the nature of the product, and as there is no browser history or “back” on the inherent IG browser which one is led to by clicking an ad, I can’t find it. [more inside]
posted by jitterbug perfume at 6:42 AM PST - 12 comments

What is the name of this contemporary Japanese short story collection?

I read a book by a Japanese author a few years ago. IIRC it was a series of vignettes, mostly about the elderly/aging in contemporary Japan. I remember the cover quite vividly: it's blue and white and it has a graphic of an old Twin reflex camera. Please hope me!
posted by johnnybeggs at 5:58 AM PST - 4 comments

June 14

Crappy parent, health scare, etc

I have a rocky relationship with my father and he's getting an MRI next week. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:24 PM PST - 14 comments

Struggling with parenting and fatherhood as an introvert

After almost six years and two children I'm finding it incredibly hard to be the parent and father that I want to be / know I can be. Weekends, which once were my time to recharge and grow have turned into two days that I dread the most and sap me of my energy because I simply don't know how to simply 'be' with my kids at the ages they are at. Looking for suggestions on how to make it through this tough time. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:23 PM PST - 31 comments

falling into relationship patterns

In my relationship, I feel like we fall into some patterns. I feel like my emotions are received as attacks, and I feel like I'm pushed into an emotionally responsible 'lead' role by my partner. I don't want this. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:17 PM PST - 15 comments

4.5 hours in Vancouver: Enough time for something fun?

By which I mean, taking the train from YVR downtown? [more inside]
posted by slab_lizard at 10:19 PM PST - 5 comments

How to believe in God when believing in God puts you in a bad mood?

Ill keep it short. I suspect there is a God. But I prefer there wasn't. Believing In God puts me in a bad mood, and yet I do believe there is a God. [more inside]
posted by ygmiaa at 6:49 PM PST - 35 comments

How to watch S. Korea vs. Ukraine FIFA U-20 without a TV?

My teenage daughter would like to watch the S. Korea vs. Ukraine soccer match tomorrow (6/15) morning. We have no TV, but we have computers and internet. Help? Snowflakes follow. [more inside]
posted by yhlee at 6:11 PM PST - 4 comments

If you know what I mean

Does post a letter mean "poop"? My wife just asked me, and I had never heard this expression before. I tried Google and no luck. However it is the first definition in Naver Dictionary. I assume that they are just wrong, but am curious because it sounds like a plausible euphemism.
posted by Literaryhero at 6:00 PM PST - 17 comments

#altac

I'm a postdoc. I was just invited to apply for a managerial position in a small nonprofit working in an international biotech/resource equity space, interfacing with lots of corporate folks. Have you made the switch from academia to a non-profit or corporate workspace? Please tell me about it! [more inside]
posted by ChuraChura at 4:06 PM PST - 8 comments

Where could I get something 3-D printed in San Francisco?

I have a 3-D print file for 4" earrings that I created using Tinkercad. I'd like to get them printed with colored plastic. I know nothing about 3D printing and I'm guessing I would need to print a few versions before getting the earrings right, so getting it printed in person seems ideal (feel free to convince me otherwise). Where could I do this in the Bay Area and how much would I be expecting to pay? Experience level: Total newbie.
posted by rogerroger at 3:56 PM PST - 15 comments

What the heck kind of mushrooms are these?

Found in a yard in Denver, CO.
posted by deludingmyself at 3:55 PM PST - 6 comments

Where else on the web is like AskMetaFilter?

I’m looking for a place where I can post a question, with some detail attached, and receive an answer pretty well guaranteed, either from an expert or the community. Happy to pay per question, though not so keen on subscriptions. Any ideas?
posted by EatMyHat at 3:13 PM PST - 16 comments

Potential new career for SAHM reentering workforce?

Mrs. Mikey51 has been home with our kids for 10 years and is looking to reenter the workforce within the next few years. She has a Bachelor's degree in Psychology, but does not want to go further in that field. She is willing to go to school for a couple years to get certified in a certain field, but unsure of some good options. She is leery about the medical field. What are some good non-medical career paths that would only need certification or an associate's degree?
posted by Mikey51 at 2:17 PM PST - 8 comments

What quirky, modernish items can I paint as part of a still life?

Hi mefites! I am getting better at oil painting and would like to do a series of still lifes. I like the idea of painting modern items in a kind of old master style, a bit like this (I am still improving!!). [more inside]
posted by low_horrible_immoral at 2:14 PM PST - 17 comments

Ensuring quality of care under Medicaid

I'm having big problems with my PCP. Are there any steps I can take to get better-quality care for myself under Medicaid? [more inside]
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 2:07 PM PST - 4 comments

These are the flyers in your neighborhood

I am putting up flyers around Boston and Cambridge for a free arts event. While I have a game plan for certain areas, I want to make sure to do justice to the neighborhoods I know less well. [more inside]
posted by prewar lemonade at 1:38 PM PST - 3 comments

Best Way to Find Keys Lost in Grass?

Lost the keys to my entire life (work, hobby, house, storage unit, car), on a green keychain, in the grass. Any tricks for finding them? [more inside]
posted by pixiecrinkle at 1:19 PM PST - 21 comments

Progressive Insurance rate too good to be true?

I moved and needed new insurance. I talked to a family friend who is a broker and he quoted me ~1,900 annually as my lowest rate. I went through Progressive (talking to a broker over the phone for the quote) and they quoted me ~1200 annually. I talked to the family friend again, and he's skeptical: he thinks that that they will give me one month at this rate and then jack it up to match his quoted price (maybe a little more). More detail inside, but should I expect this to happen? [more inside]
posted by codacorolla at 1:18 PM PST - 10 comments

Help me pick out a laptop that I will barely use?

I've had my current 13" MacBook Pro for about 7 years, and it's slowed to a crawl. I'm thinking it might be better to get a PC laptop with a bigger screen rather than spending a bunch of money on a new Mac, but I don't really know anything about what's out there. Just tell me what to get? [more inside]
posted by exceptinsects at 1:11 PM PST - 12 comments

Potential Mental Health Breakthrough – ADHD/OCD - thoughts?

A search of my Ask history will reveal that I have been struggling with depression for my whole life. It has been severe for the last decade despite therapy, psychiatric drugs and even ketamine. I think that it perhaps is due to incomplete diagnosis. Details within [more inside]
posted by kbbbo at 12:20 PM PST - 9 comments

How does a medical professional get started in chart review?

I'm an MD who would like to get involved in doing some chart auditing, whether for legal reasons, utilization management or any other type of professional review. Has anyone here been involved in this, and if so what advice or direction could you provide me with?
posted by docpops at 12:18 PM PST - 3 comments

Ethical mortgage dilemma

We're buying a house soon, and are tempted by the idea of an ethical bank. It's more than double the cost though - would that money be better spent (as in, be more useful to the world) donated somewhere else instead? [more inside]
posted by twirlypen at 12:15 PM PST - 12 comments

what kind of professional can I pay to help me un-bleep my finances?

I owe back taxes, have some credit card debt, and need to learn how to budget. I know about all the favored budgeting books and apps, but I have a really, really hard time understanding them. I would love to have a professional money-dealer-wither-person tell me what to do. But I'm only recently solvent--was low-income up until a year ago--and can't afford a fancy accountant. Does the kind of professional I'm looking for exist, and how do I find one? More details under the cut. [more inside]
posted by adastra at 11:07 AM PST - 11 comments

How bad will running Win7 after 2019 be? Really...

So my wife has a computer running Windows7 that her tech-savvy brother set up for her to do various important things like keep documents for small business accounting, etc.. and I pointed out that maybe we should upgrade it to Win10. To that suggestion, my bro-in-law shrugged and said something like "why are you worried? you think you're going to get hacked? you can get hacked in Win10, too." [more inside]
posted by mhh5 at 10:51 AM PST - 15 comments

Good intro to Tower Defense games for kids? (iOS)

What would be a good first Tower Defense game for kids? Not too frustrating or complicated - maybe with variable difficulty levels? Or just something on the easier side?
posted by malhouse at 10:22 AM PST - 9 comments

Making a work ID card fun - suggestions?

I'm going to doctor the name and picture on my work ID card with something interesting / funny / off-kilter. Ideas? [more inside]
posted by brappi at 10:00 AM PST - 12 comments

book about food that must be produced in certain regions of the world

A recent trip to Italy and Spain sparked an interest in foods that must be produced in specific methods and regions of the world in order to be labelled as the particular item. Examples of such foods would be Champagne, Aceto Balsamico di Modena, Prosciutto di Parma, Iberico Ham and Tequila......Can anyone recommend a book that might encompass all or many of the foods that have very specific production regulations to be what they are?
posted by jennstra at 9:50 AM PST - 4 comments

What bad word or phrase does “Unique” sound like in Arabic?

Earlier today, I was teaching some vocabulary to a few Arabic-speaking students, and they cracked up incredulously over the word “unique.” Can someone please let me know why it’s funny? I’m so curious! I’m pretty sure they speak the Levant dialect, if that factors in.
posted by to recite so charmingly at 9:44 AM PST - 5 comments

And what would you like on the side?

Looking for recommendations for websites, search terms, etc for recipes for an entire dinner, including side(s). [more inside]
posted by ferociouskitty at 9:18 AM PST - 2 comments

Fix and forget: weeknight meal prep question #4,897

I'm looking for meals I can prep quickly and easily (and perhaps interruptedly), leave to cook, and then come back in an hour or so and have a full meal ready. A good example is a roast chicken: rub with salt, pop in oven with some chopped veggies, and have a full meal ready in an hour and a half, plus leftovers for a full meal the following day. [more inside]
posted by stillmoving at 8:59 AM PST - 7 comments

How do I remove chemical fumes from oven?

I baked something in a pan that had remnants of some sort of glue on it and the glue smoked a lot and gave off a noxious odor. Then the next time I used the oven, I again smelled the odor. Now I can't get rid of it. [more inside]
posted by Jon44 at 7:06 AM PST - 4 comments

Paris street photography in 1800s.. illegal?

In the street photography book "Bystander" there is a passing reference to a ban on street/public photography in Paris in the 1800s, resulting in a relative gap of work between Nègre and Atget.. having difficulty finding more info about this law. Any insight?
posted by starman at 6:59 AM PST - 9 comments

Plants at work when you work very indoors

Are there any plants that could survive in an office space that has no direct sunlight? Are there types of lights can can be purchased or other tricks that will provide needed energy for no sunlight plants? [more inside]
posted by RajahKing at 6:28 AM PST - 21 comments

How to do deal with someone not dealing with someone?

My partner’s family member is a depressed alcoholic who has been on a downward spiral as of late. How can I best support my partner when it feels like they are completely checked out? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 5:16 AM PST - 21 comments

Where to stop by for some late evening live music in Nashville?

I'll be in Nashville Wednesday and Thursday next week with some colleagues for work. We'll be very busy during daytime hours, but if there's time in the evenings we'd like to see some live music at whatever bars, pubs, or other venues are easy to drop-in. I don't know how late the nightlife goes on weekdays, but later is definitely better for us schedule-wise. So what would be some good places to check out? Being Nashville, we mostly have in mind country, bluegrass, and folk but any genre is fine.
posted by theory at 3:04 AM PST - 5 comments

Waiting for this to be ovar-y

I have a 7.5 cm ovarian cyst that showed up on a CT scan when I had pain after sex. I've followed up with a gyno, who wants to wait a few weeks before doing a transvaginal ultrasound. That plan makes sense, and my doctor explained the possible outcomes well. I don't have questions about that, but I'm seeking peer-advice about the sexual and GI complications of ovarian cysts. YANMD, of course. [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe at 12:55 AM PST - 13 comments

June 13

Great picture libraries

I'm looking for recommendations of good picture libraries, preferably royalty-free, Creative Commons-type licencing such as unsplash.com. Also particularly interested in ones that tackle issues of diversity representation such as this one previously featured in an FPP that has images of trans and non-binary people, and this one that has beautiful pictures of black and brown people. Thanks!
posted by KateViolet at 7:57 PM PST - 4 comments

Congratulations! It’s a plant!

I would like to enter into the world of plant mom, with very beginner, low light plants in hanging planters. Tips? Tricks? Can one learn to plant mom? [more inside]
posted by Crystalinne at 7:16 PM PST - 16 comments

Bisexualfilter: Is there a version of Skirt Club for bicurious men?

I recently became aware of Skirt Club, and was wondering if there was a version for bicurious men. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 7:08 PM PST - 4 comments

turn your lights down load....

I am having a lot of trouble downloading various things for my use. Hope possible? [more inside]
posted by nantucket at 6:37 PM PST - 7 comments

3 Hours to Capture a Lifetime?

I have a 3 hour block of time and an iPhone to capture key points of my 83 year old mom's life. What strategies/apps will help me with this process? [more inside]
posted by ms_rasclark at 4:04 PM PST - 5 comments

Pork puzzle

I love pulled pork, pork chops, bacon, etc. But three times in the last year, I’ve had pork that tasted and smelled really horrible to me, even when others couldn’t detect an issue. [more inside]
posted by lieber hair at 3:08 PM PST - 15 comments

Need an apt analogy for autism/aspergers in young adult son

My son is 21 and was diagnosed with Aspergers only 5 years ago, as an older teen. I struggle myself to understand what this all means. So does he. [more inside]
posted by primate moon at 3:01 PM PST - 9 comments

Should we take my toddler's car seat on a plane to Europe?

We will be flying with my 2.5 year old son to Europe this fall. We need to bring a car seat, and are debating whether to check it or to have him sit in it on the flight. Help me decide! [more inside]
posted by Bebo at 12:31 PM PST - 17 comments

Simple graphical representations of Los Angeles suggestions needed.

I'm trying to brainstorm my next tattoo and I need some suggestions. I would like a simple line icon of LA [more inside]
posted by Uncle at 11:26 AM PST - 21 comments

Knee pain -- how to keep it from getting worse?

I recently started a new job that has me doing a lot of checking/taking items from low shelves. Due to this, I have needed to squat and bend my knees repeatedly, and my knees are feeling rather sore. [more inside]
posted by massofintuition at 11:01 AM PST - 13 comments

Horse Racing Question

I know nothing about horse racing, I am writing about a racetrack for non-bettors, and I cannot find a simple and fast definition for "average daily handle" despite my search chops. Is it the amount of money bet in a single day? Many thanks for speedy responses, I'm on a deadline.
posted by Bella Donna at 10:50 AM PST - 5 comments

parting is such swee...

At one point in the past I visited a webpage that listed different types of goodbyes (as in "irish goodbye", "czech goodbye", "japanese goodbye", etc.). It listed at least 30 or 40 different variations, all with a specific name. Have you seen this page? I can't for the life of me find it with my searches. [more inside]
posted by so fucking future at 9:56 AM PST - 3 comments

Studying for CCNP/CCIE R&S: Should I use Eve-NG, IOU-Web or Boson NetSim

Hi all! Question for the network engineers here. I just passed the CCNA R&S and I'm about to start studying for the CCNP and, eventually, the CCIE. I'm looking for a virtual set-up that I can use for the long-term. [more inside]
posted by jack.brodey at 9:43 AM PST - 3 comments

Help me figure out what to do with my dad now that my mom has passed.

My dad and I have had a turbulent relationship for years. My mom died a few weeks ago. He is struggling and asking for more of me than I am able to provide. Help me with strategy and tactics, please! [more inside]
posted by Kwine at 8:41 AM PST - 33 comments

The simplest possible to-do list app, redux

I just got a new phone and unfortunately my ride-or-die to-do list app, Erica Sadun's To Do, no longer works on it. So it's time for a rerun of my question from 2013: what is an iOS 12.3.1/iPhone Xs compatible app that just lets you make a list, and badges the app icon with the number of items on the list? [more inside]
posted by capricorn at 8:27 AM PST - 10 comments

Of Sleep and Rage

At least once a week, often more, I get woken up by something at night shortly after I've fallen asleep. My body then thinks it's had a refreshing power nap, and then I'm awake for the next two hours, growing increasingly miserable. This is unpleasant, rage-inducing and leads to physical exhaustion the next day. Any advice for quickly calming the mind and returning to sleep? [more inside]
posted by whistle pig at 5:32 AM PST - 54 comments

What is this sleep disturbance thing?

When asleep, I occasionally slam abruptly awake, heart pounding and body generally reacting as if in terror. To the best I can recall, I have not been having a nightmare prior to the wakeup before these times. Google not helping, is this a thing that happens to other people with a name? [more inside]
posted by Cozybee at 5:23 AM PST - 23 comments

Excel query

Trying to attach a date and ID to multiple rows of data - do I need INDEX MATCH or some kind of multiple VLOOKUP or what? [more inside]
posted by sock of ages at 4:14 AM PST - 18 comments

June 12

I Once Had a Pair of Flowing, Loose, Silky, Bohemian Pants - Need Name

I had a pair of really nice and very loose Boho/Gypsy/Hippie cocktail/lounging pants/trousers (for women) in a paisley print of browns. The material was man-made but felt like silk. You could bunch up the entire pair and it would be the size of a medium sized orange. Or less. The material was ribbed. I think that's key. Tiny folds. The waist was elastic. Very, very light-weight. [more inside]
posted by watercarrier at 9:40 PM PST - 20 comments

Seeking walking advice for disgruntled small children

I live in a lovely, walkable neighborhood with tons of stuff within a half-mile radius: a library, grocery stores, fun parks, wading pools, pet food stores, lakes, etc. My 6-year-old thinks that walking places is a special kind of torture I have designed especially for him. Please tell me how you get your children to willingly leave the house and walk places with you. [more inside]
posted by Maarika at 8:54 PM PST - 40 comments

What to reserve in New Zealand

A friend and I are off to New Zealand in September. We generally make up trips as we go, but there are some items (like Hobbiton) that require a little more planning in the form of long term reservations. What restaurants/lodges/experiences should we be booking three months out?
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 7:26 PM PST - 9 comments

dear internet, please lend me your common sense...

... and tell me how/if ruined these shirts with mysterious yellow stains are. Context inside. [more inside]
posted by redwaterman at 7:25 PM PST - 12 comments

Can you recommend some really good, long essays?

I would like to read some long essays that merit their length. Topic and style don’t matter — just that the piece is 1) an essay (meaning that the author is exploring ideas, which is a little different than straight reporting or straight memoir, though obviously those lines can be blurry), 2) not short, and 3) you thought it was great.
posted by hungrytiger at 7:21 PM PST - 24 comments

What equations graph these curves?

I've got three curves that I'd love to find equations for, if such exist. I've done some research on the Internet but everything I find is talking way over my head. I got up through trigonometry in high school, but that was probably the miracle of teacher apathy during grading. So, do you know what equations graph these three curves? (Okay, one is straight lines, but that's still a curve for these purposes, isn't it?) [more inside]
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 4:44 PM PST - 19 comments

Best books on US racism

I’ve been asked to recommend a book on a topic that I want everyone to read about for an informal lending library. I’d like to recommend a book about racism in the United States. The audience for this library is a group of about 200 people. The group is majority white, and mostly the kind of people who think they aren’t racist because they “don’t see color,” but there are also POC in the audience. Essentially, I’m looking for a book that can help someone understand concepts like systemic racism and implicit bias, and both the current state of racism in the United States and how we got this way. [more inside]
posted by ocherdraco at 3:32 PM PST - 22 comments

Is there a serviceable replacement for my AT&T broadband service?

I don't use the Internet on my laptop enough to justify paying $70 a month for it anymore. Do you have advice on alternatives to broadband service that would fit my needs? (Details below.) [more inside]
posted by kensington314 at 3:26 PM PST - 5 comments

One parent, two languages - bringing up bilingual babies

I'm familiar with the one parent, one language rule for bringing up a bilingual kid, but what if one parents speaks two languages to baby, or just one language but less-than-fluently? We'd like our kid to be fully bilingual and I wonder how/if my accented and proficient (but not fluent) second language will affect baby? What research and personal experiences can you share? [more inside]
posted by stillmoving at 3:17 PM PST - 11 comments

cookbook identification?

Years ago, my now-mother-in-law then-boyfriend's-mom gave me a pair of cookbooks. The cookbooks perished in a flood a few years back and I can't remember what they were called. Help me figure out what they were? Snowflakes follow. [more inside]
posted by yhlee at 1:49 PM PST - 12 comments

Is an OEM SmartKey a waste of money?

I bought a used Prius, came with 1 key fob, which has the electronic component that lets the car unlock, start, etc., as well as the metal key insert that will unlock the door. No ignition port for a key, just proximity. Pretty sure it's a smartkey system(SKS). Lots of ebay sellers with new key fobs, and there are instructions for programming them. I hate the thought of paying dealer prices. Good/ Bad idea? Do you have a recommended source with links for a key fob, instructions? thanks. [more inside]
posted by theora55 at 1:20 PM PST - 8 comments

1980s National Geographic story about a radiation burn

Some time in the late 1980s I read a story in a National Geographic magazine about people who found an abandoned radioactive substance and were harmed by it. I want to re-read the story and see if my decades-old recollection of the incident and photos is accurate- it really struck me as a child. Is it online anywhere? [more inside]
posted by nouvelle-personne at 1:07 PM PST - 7 comments

On rereading.

I read a lot, mostly because I love it, but also because I hope it'll help me become a better writer. However, I'm realizing that it's probably equally important for me to actually reread stuff and really study the mechanics, vs just reading a lot of new stuff. I'd love to explore essays or books that are about the concept of rereading. [more inside]
posted by estlin at 11:44 AM PST - 5 comments

2 cars - 1 car = 1 car

I’m pondering life without a car. [more inside]
posted by doctor tough love at 11:27 AM PST - 29 comments

How to successfully manage a preteen's screen time?

Here comes summer and I don't want my kid to use his computer or tablet all the time and just as importantly - I don't want to talk and negotiate each day about it. What works in your family and how much time feels reasonable in your family? [more inside]
posted by beccaj at 10:57 AM PST - 15 comments

Music or media showing normal life as a queer person

This thread got me started on a journey of discovery of kd lang’s discography. It has been like therapy. Help me find more of queer people living all the aspects of normal lives and expressing normal emotions? [more inside]
posted by flannel at 10:47 AM PST - 21 comments

just a simple village girl living in the shadow of a mountain

What are some small(ish) things I could incorporate into my life to emulate people like Li Ziqi and English Heritage as a contemporary city chick? [more inside]
posted by divabat at 7:45 AM PST - 38 comments

Very specific fiction formatting question

Hello! Under what circumstances does one use "#" between paragraphs? Is it only if there is a skip in time? [more inside]
posted by angrycat at 7:16 AM PST - 15 comments

iPhone App to take pictures/video and capture text about them

I would like to take pictures/video with an app that prompts me for text descriptions every time (force me to provide context for the image/video). I will be using this content for a large work presentation and don't want to use social media apps. I use Windows 10, Box, Office 365 products, and have an iPhone 8. Is there an iPhone app that: 1. takes picture/video 2. forces me to enter a text descriptions (and maybe capture location/date/time details) 3. stores results someplace easily accessible (preferably in an Office/Windows app) for use in a PowerPoint presentation. Ease of use is paramount, as I will be on a tour and won't be able to spend too much time with each picture. Thanks!
posted by GernBlandston at 7:05 AM PST - 2 comments

Sexual needs in a relationship

Your partner's libido is not as high as yours, what do you do? [more inside]
posted by passionate at 6:45 AM PST - 38 comments

Device charge time for chargers with different amps

Given two chargers, one with roughly twice the amperage of the other, how will charge time be affected? Will the higher amp charger fully charge the device in half the time that the lower amp charger will take? Or does the charge time depend on something in addition to / other than amps?
posted by dancing leaves at 6:37 AM PST - 8 comments

Surrealist detective novel ID

Book ID time! It's an American surrealist detective novel, from I think the 50s. We're talking aggressive high-modernist style surrealism, none of Paul Auster's coy impossibilities; the text is jumbled, occasionally incoherent, and overflowing with garish juxtapositions of charged imagery. The protagonist is obsessed with Erle Stanley Gardner's Perry Mason mysteries. The scene I remember most clearly has the protagonist driving into a forest that rapidly becomes over-the-top ominous and foreboding, while his radio screams in stilted all-caps bulletins about an escaped maniac in the area. [more inside]
posted by longtime_lurker at 6:32 AM PST - 5 comments

Are Mosquito Treatments Safe?

We have tons of mosquitos in my backyard and I want to get rid of them. I have two young kids. Are mosquito treatment services safe? [more inside]
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 6:29 AM PST - 10 comments

Marriage counseling in NYC

My wife and I are in need of some good recommendations for (probably shortish-term) marriage/couples counseling in NYC, with a focus on communication issues. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 5:44 AM PST - 1 comment

ADD/ADHD Psychiatrists in the Bay Area

Hi all, I'm looking for any recommendations for specialists in ADD/ADHD in the Bay Area (preferably South Bay). [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 5:44 AM PST - 2 comments

Getting into the London Startup scene?

I've had a whole range of jobs, starting at a startup (a job I got through word of mouth), into Government, then a University and now a charity. I've come to the conclusion I need to be back in a startup because it's the most innovative, fast-paced and problem-solving environment. [more inside]
posted by london explorer girl at 3:09 AM PST - 4 comments

Clearance menswear in central London

Are there any central London clothing stores that have a decent-sized menswear clearance section? [more inside]
posted by terretu at 12:39 AM PST - 1 comment

June 11

Used shirt has weird smell

If you've ever been in a used clothing store, you know they have a particular odor to them. It's a sort of faint, musty smell that's unique to used clothing. I don't know what causes it, but that particular smell can't be found anywhere else. I bought a used jacket from a military surplus store on eBay and it has that smell, only a hundred times stronger. Normally that odor doesn't bother me, but this is overpowering. [more inside]
posted by ambulocetus at 11:24 PM PST - 19 comments

Planned leave for PTSD

I am considering taking planned leave to work on recovery from PTSD. Besides therapy, what do I actually *do* with that time? I’d you have done something similar, what helped you recover? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 10:40 PM PST - 18 comments

How to help a student get into college when the parent is against it?

I have a 17 yr old family member who just finished the 11th grade, and l very much want to help with the college admission process. However, her father (who never made it through high school and was once imprisoned) is doing things that directly discourage or interfere in this goal. He apparently tells her she should give up and just join the military, and is also extremely controlling and won't let her take part in any type of extracurriculars. I live across the country from them, and so far all I'm able to do so far is call her (on her parents' phone since they took away her phone) and try to talk to her about her plans. I've also mailed her copies of college materials and books on the subject (her internet access is also restricted). Right now I'm particularly concerned about the fact that she's not able to take part in anything outside of the home, not volunteering, not a job, etc. Are there things you all think she could do that while she's effectively homebound over the summer to improve her chances when she's applying to schools? [more inside]
posted by afabulousbeing at 10:16 PM PST - 26 comments

What is a good way to start a digital journal?

I want to synthesize my lived experience, explorations, random knowledge gains, and art prototypes in blog form, but I'm very intimidated by the blog software. Can you please suggest some resources and actions that would help me accomplish some or all of my objectives (listed inside)? [more inside]
posted by rebent at 7:47 PM PST - 10 comments

Looking for YA novel series recommendations for niece's 15th bday.

My step-niece has just turned 15 and I'd like to get her a good YA novel series as a gift but have no idea where to begin. If you please, I'd love some recos from the good people on the green! Inside is some additional info in case it's helpful as well as some past gifts listed below. [more inside]
posted by tealeaf522 at 6:30 PM PST - 33 comments

help me realize (the name of this video)

so i used to have this video file. i used it for test footage all the time. it was something like 45 minutes long maybe? here's what i remember: it was some kind of older documentary about indigenous/aboriginal people in a celebration of some sort. i believe it may have been a famous or important sort of file. perhaps because this special celebration they were having... maybe it have never been filmed before or something? And i recall them all wearing the same kind/color of red-orange (maybe) cloth. they start out kind of sitting in a circle outside, lots of trees around. eventually they are up and dancing and singing. i really wish i remembered more. [more inside]
posted by chasles at 6:28 PM PST - 2 comments

What's a song or poem like this one, but with English lyrics?

I randomly came across a song called Nooit Meer Een Morgen by Marco Borsato years back, and really enjoyed the tune and voice quality. Then I looked up the Dutch lyrics with Google Translate, and the feels just about shut me down! I want to share these sentiments with English-speaking friends though, so I'm looking for songs or poems with a similar message. [more inside]
posted by circular at 4:55 PM PST - 8 comments

What's the most calorie-dense nutritionally complete diet?

Purely theoretical question that is probably totally basic for dietitians: how few calories would it take to take care of one's daily nutritional requirements and leave maximum room for cake? [more inside]
posted by catesbie at 4:53 PM PST - 24 comments

Can my cats eat it?

I am a bad pet parent and left a brand new bag of cat food in the car for three or four days. It got into the 80s a couple of days. It is royal canin urinary so if that matters. Will this make kitties sick? It smells gross but it always smells gross. [more inside]
posted by misanthropicsarah at 4:23 PM PST - 12 comments

How to safely remove enormous glass sliding doors?

The kitchen in my 1954 house has what amounts to nearly an entire wall of glass. There's a (functioning) normal-sized slider on the left (see photo), maybe a foot of wall just to the right of that, and then a ginormous single-pane slider (that doesn't actually slide) consisting of two approx. 5' across glass panels. How do we remove roughly 70 square feet of glass safely? [more inside]
posted by aecorwin at 4:20 PM PST - 10 comments

Are workspace glasses supposed to be this uncomfortable?

I just got what my OD referred to as "workspace glasses," which I'm supposed to wear while working at a computer to cancel out the contacts I wear for nearsightedness. But in my first couple hours of wearing them, they make me feel like I'm straining my eyes more. Is this normal adjustment? [more inside]
posted by quiet coyote at 4:11 PM PST - 8 comments

Have you seen this movie?

What are some movies where the cop and the criminal s/he's investigating become allies after the cop discovers the criminal is being fooled/forced into doing the crime against his will, and in the second half of the film, the two work together to bring down the bigger bad guy? [more inside]
posted by egeanin at 3:42 PM PST - 13 comments

Nintendo Switch games for little kids?

With the announcement of the Animal Crossing in 2020, I'm wondering if this is going to push us to get a Nintendo Switch for Christmas. What other games are suggested for kids of Kindergarten age, or should we wait a few years? [more inside]
posted by Hermeowne Grangepurr at 3:10 PM PST - 12 comments

How to best support sibling with terminal condition?

My sister has non-smoking lung cancer. She is on a special drug right now which is working great and is her usual self, but her prognosis is 2-5 years. It is really easy to forget about it, right now, and act like nothing is wrong. When I find myself doing this, I feel like I'm being fake and doing her wrong...but then I think this is what she wants and I should follow her lead. Have any of you been in a situation like this?
posted by cgs at 2:58 PM PST - 14 comments

Weight loss/food log app with NO calorie counts?

About two years ago, I started taking a low dose of sertralene for anxiety. It works great! The ball of dread in the pit of my stomach every morning is gone! Problem is, my appetite has come back now that I’m not anxious all the time and I’ve gained around 30 lbs in the last year or so and I want them gone. I was much happier at the lower weight, so I’d like to go back there. But I’ve never really lost weight in a healthy way and I need help. [more inside]
posted by Weeping_angel at 1:52 PM PST - 24 comments

How do you clean your tiled shower?

Is there an easy way to clean my newly-tiled walk -in shower? I'd like to avoid hands and knees scrubbing, if possible. Magic potions welcome! [more inside]
posted by sarajane at 1:30 PM PST - 15 comments

What should I do now that I see ants coming from underneath the toilet?

Every day about 4-8 ants (probably carpenter ants?) appear around my toilet in slightly increasing numbers over the past week. They're probably coming from underneath the toilet, so I set up some ant bait around it and they seem to be going for it. But when I was researching online, and when talking to the staff at home depot, they all suggested that there's something bad underneath going on, maybe rotting wood. How should I start getting this figured out? Who do I call? I'm a scrawny guy with a few tools but no handy skills.
posted by seattlejeff at 12:41 PM PST - 11 comments

best body shop to paint my car a different color

Considering having my 2007 Mazda3 hatchback's color changed, as long as I have these scrapes and tiny dings to fix. Would it be a terrible idea to try to get a low price at Maaco? Anybody know the best approach here? In Chicago (North Side but will travel if there's public transit) [more inside]
posted by amtho at 12:41 PM PST - 5 comments

Anti Father's Day fun in DC

For a variety of reasons, my partner and I aren't celebrating Father's Day this year. Please help us find some local counter programming. [more inside]
posted by Space Kitty at 12:12 PM PST - 5 comments

Help me frame a shift on how I work to my client

I'm a freelancer, but the majority of my work is with one agency I've had a relationship with for 7 years who works with a variety of clients. I was very eager to begin working with this agency even though we were on opposite coasts, so I've been available 8-5 and do things like announcing when I've logged on in the morning, letting the client know when I'm grabbing lunch, and being available for messages and phone calls anytime during the day. I want to shift away from this. [more inside]
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 12:11 PM PST - 9 comments

Why do my Python scripts not finish?

For a hobby project, I run hourly Python scripts via a cron job. These scripts always run correctly (ie produce expected output), but sometimes one of them doesn't terminate and the Python process lives on, hogging memory until manually killed. Can you help me troubleshoot this? [more inside]
posted by no regrets, coyote at 12:03 PM PST - 4 comments

On the fringes of the Fringe

What's a good strategy for exploring Edinburgh when accidentally there during the Fringe? Definitely going to take in some festival offerings, but that's not why we're visiting, and we don't want it to take over our trip. [more inside]
posted by scarylarry at 11:43 AM PST - 15 comments

What company/service can do a deep clean of an NYC apartment?

Can you recommend a company to do a deep clean of an apartment in Brooklyn, NYC? Our primary concern is pet smells, but we need a full and thorough apartment cleaning. Thanks!
posted by andoatnp at 10:57 AM PST - 3 comments

How to prepare toddler for grandparents move?

What's the best approach to adjusting toddler to Grandparent's moving out of state? [more inside]
posted by MamaBee223 at 10:45 AM PST - 8 comments

Help me pick my perfect bluetooth earbuds!

I need earbuds that will stand up to my abuse and preferences. Sound quality isn't important to me, but battery life and swapping between devices/modes are critical. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by frizz at 10:29 AM PST - 11 comments

Hit me up with a bunch of great Bollywood song and dance videos

I’m traveling in India and I think it would be fun to watch/listen to, though I have no idea what is good and don’t want to watch a whole movie, just watch the great song/dance numbers. New stuff, classics, absurd stuff, it’s all game.
posted by wooh at 7:32 AM PST - 14 comments

Montreal thrift stores?

Rainy day in Montreal and I would love to find some thrift stores [more inside]
posted by InkaLomax at 5:43 AM PST - 5 comments

Buying solar panels in NJ?

What are the pros and cons of purchasing solar panels in New Jersey? [more inside]
posted by amro at 5:35 AM PST - 3 comments

Biscuit / Cookie Loving US based MeFites! What's Good n Oaty?

I live and am from the UK near London. My Friend lives and is from Manhattan USA and we've agreed a snack food exchange. They have requested Plain Hobnob biscuits. What else can I send they might like? [more inside]
posted by Faintdreams at 4:26 AM PST - 21 comments

What bag is this - might be British WW1 or WW2

What is this bag - and from that I can maybe I can pin down where to buy one? [more inside]
posted by Quillcards at 4:06 AM PST - 5 comments

June 10

Ground rules for dealing with enabling in a Mother/Child relationship?

My Mom and I (who I’m currently living with, and also writing this question with) have had issues with enabling and codependency for as long as I can remember; we’re now finally trying to build an equal relationship in which both of us are (more or less) pulling our weight around the house and in general. The problem is that we’re starting to overanalyze every situation, and so would like to come up with some hard and fast rules to follow so we don’t have to discuss whether or not something is enabling a dozen times a day. We’re having a hard time coming up with the rules ourselves, and could use MetaFilter’s help. For those who have gone through a similar situation either via a parent, child, spouse or some other loved one - what constitutes enabling in your eyes, and what ground rules worked for you to address this issue? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:19 PM PST - 34 comments

Poems and songs about love which must be honorably abbreviated

What are some poems and songs about honorably abbreviated love? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:19 PM PST - 23 comments

Books about athletes who became injured and could no longer play?

I am looking for books about athletes or any really outdoorsy people who got injured and could no longer play their sport or do outdoorsy things. I am looking for nonfiction and I am particularly interested in how they coped with this loss. Extra points for a book about a woman climber who got hurt and could no longer climb.
posted by calm down at 9:55 PM PST - 9 comments

Alternative to Chacos?

Any suggestions for alternatives to Chacos? I loved my black Z2 sandals. They were sturdy, well-made, comfortable, consistently sized, and provided great ankle support. I tried on a new pair last week--the sizing was off and the quality just wasn't there. I know I can get my current pair re-soled and/or re-webbed, and I've done that in the past with mixed results. Any recommendations? Thanks!
posted by dtp at 9:13 PM PST - 8 comments

How safe is Orlando (North Mills Avenue and East Colonial Drive)?

I'm thinking about visiting Colonial Photo and Hobby in Orlando, which is at the intersection of North Mills Avenue and East Colonial Drive with my 16 year old step-daughter. As well as visiting the store we might go to the Starbucks a couple of blocks south of and maybe explore a bit - is this a terrible idea? Are there any areas in walking distance that we should particularly avoid? Bonus points for geeky or cool things to do/visit/see within walking distance of Colonial Photo and Hobby. TIA!
posted by Chairboy at 8:38 PM PST - 4 comments

How to get anxiety out of my way

How do I tune out the anxiety and focus better on the tasks at hand? [more inside]
posted by Crookshanks_Meow at 8:25 PM PST - 9 comments

Toddlers and National Parks

With a 1.5yr old, would you vacation to Redwoods National Park, Yosemite, or Lassen Volcanic Park? [more inside]
posted by inevitability at 7:38 PM PST - 13 comments

Where to find interesting clothing for a 10 year old girl in Tokyo?

It doesn't need to be fancy or expensive, just interesting and stylish. She likes the novelty of clothes from different places and will put an outfit together out of almost anything - cheap graphic T shirts, dresses, fun shorts, rompers, whatever. Any recommendation for individual stores or just areas to walk around in?
posted by true at 6:17 PM PST - 6 comments

How would a violin case decompose if it was buried outside for 20 years?

I'm writing a piece of fiction. A violin case with a black leather exterior, something like this one, is buried in a forest for 20 years. How would the case look once unearthed? What kind of shape would the violin itself be in? Details below the fold. [more inside]
posted by Beardman at 5:59 PM PST - 11 comments

Help identifying this weed/plant

So I have this unused garden plot and these weeds/plants have taken over them in the last 3 weeks. [more inside]
posted by jeremias at 4:50 PM PST - 5 comments

Bris Travel

My mom plans to fly out to help celebrate the birth of a new baby and a bris in a couple of months. (Yay!) Is there a standard cost effective thing to do in terms of making travel plans for occasions like this? If she buys plane tickets now, I'm wondering what happens if the child is born earlier or later than expected? Is there a travel insurance option available for purchase to cover these possibilities?
posted by Gosha_Dog at 4:41 PM PST - 7 comments

How are you digitally keeping tracking of your memories and activities?

How are you logging and tracking your memories? One app? Lots of apps? Swarm? A journaling App like Day One? Instagram? A mix of apps? Evernote? Something else? What works for you? What would you recommend?
posted by andoatnp at 4:25 PM PST - 12 comments

Karaokefilter, fast talker edition

I don’t have a huge vocal range, but I love karaoke and do have a good sense of rhythm and a natural tendency to speak/sing quickly. Nailing “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine)” by REM is my favorite karaoke party trick. What other fast, wordy, mostly spoken or low-range songs can I use to impress a crowd? More criteria behind the fold. [more inside]
posted by ActionPopulated at 3:47 PM PST - 46 comments

How to fight the curse of the divergent thinker?

So I think differently. Always have. Given the same evidence as others, I’ll come to a different conclusion. This makes me the target for online trolls, criticism and people who believe the opposite to what I’m saying, which is, well, a lot of people. I hold my beliefs passionately, same as anyone else, and get really fed up of being criticised and told I’m wrong because I am different. [more inside]
posted by EatMyHat at 3:18 PM PST - 38 comments

You Really Got a Hold on Me

What songs remind you of your significant other and why? This is research for a fiction writing project. Some loose parameters inside. [more inside]
posted by lollymccatburglar at 1:48 PM PST - 57 comments

Gluten free breakfast/brunch baked goods

I'm hosting a potluck brunch for some friends this weekend, one of whom is gluten-free. I am a confident cook with access to any ingredients I might need, but I don't know enough about GF recipes to evaluate the ones I'm finding online. Do you have a favorite GF scone, muffin, coffee cake, tart, or similar recipe that's not too time-consuming to make and tastes good? [more inside]
posted by misskaz at 1:07 PM PST - 19 comments

Identify the make/model of this food truck?

What is the make and/or model of the food truck in the first image of this article? There are also pictures of it on the company web site but they only call it "our vintage truck." I feel like I should be able to Google this but I'm not quite getting it.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 1:04 PM PST - 11 comments

How do I structure my work time?

I have the fortunate problem of being able to make my own hours. This, however, is challenging for me as I do better with being given structure rather than creating it! [more inside]
posted by rglass at 12:38 PM PST - 2 comments

Task list with permanent step completion

I must be searching for the wrong key words. What is it called when you have a list of tasks and permanently mark one complete? [more inside]
posted by BeeDo at 12:32 PM PST - 5 comments

Looking for sci-fi novel about a second American Civil War...

I’m trying to remember a book in which the main character (an American) was a veteran of an Vietnam-style war in Indonesia, and the setting was a second American Civil War. [more inside]
posted by arkhangel at 12:31 PM PST - 3 comments

Books to read out loud to 2-5 year olds

What are your favorite books to read out loud to 2-5 year old kids? [more inside]
posted by sciencegeek at 12:30 PM PST - 40 comments

Style inspiration for fat queers

What are the best instagram accounts featuring fat/plus-size AFAB masculine folks looking stylish? Butches, trans masculine folx, masculine-of-center nonbinary people, etc. [more inside]
posted by the sockening at 11:40 AM PST - 7 comments

Best used Verizon iphone for a kid

I'm looking for MeFite suggestions regarding which used Verizon iphone to buy for a middle schooler. I want to spend less than $250 (way less is better). I'm concerned about the "touch disease." I'm concerned about the phone becoming obsolete too quickly. I'm balancing this with concern that the phone will get lost or broken. I'm wondering what else I should be concerned with that I haven't even considered... [more inside]
posted by rabidsegue at 10:49 AM PST - 13 comments

Horror Fiction that isn't by White Men

Most of the contemporary horror recommendations I get are for white male authors and while some of their work is great, I need recommendations for women, poc, and lgbtq authors of horror. [more inside]
posted by miss-lapin at 10:18 AM PST - 28 comments

Go ahead. Absorb my shock. (And my laptop's.)

I have a Dell Inspiron 15 3000 with 15' display. I also have tendencies toward accidents and clumsiness, and it's slipped out of my bag a couple times and probably will again. So I'm looking for a shock absorbing af shell case because I can't be trusted to put my computer in and out of a sleeve or anything. I'm hoping to spend less than $30 and not too picky about aesthetics so long as I can access the ports okay. Which one should I get, and where would I get the best deal?
posted by mermaidcafe at 10:01 AM PST - 2 comments

I don't love you la la la la - what's that song?

Please help me remember the name of this indie rock song from the 00s. The most specific thing I remember about it is the chorus, cathartically sung at the top of the male singer's lungs, "I don't love you! La la la la!" and repeated a few times. The music is sparse but jangly-loud guitar and drum that is jaunty and rhythmic during the verses and thrashing during the chorus. [more inside]
posted by carsonb at 9:48 AM PST - 8 comments

Help a non-data brain learn data stuff

How can I get my very historically non-math and data-oriented brain to learn a bunch of data fundamentals? I'm 30, don't speak or think in terms of data, suck at math, suck at stats, have severe ADD, and hugely struggle with abstract concepts like "data models", "one-to-many/many-to-one relationships", "joining tables", and even "tables" in general. [more inside]
posted by windbox at 9:47 AM PST - 7 comments

What (shipboard) jobs do cruise musicians have when not performing?

Just returned from a cruise where musicians performed in various venues on the ship. Looking at the schedule, it seemed that none of them played more than 3 or 4 hours out of every 24. What other jobs do they do when not performing? (FWIW - this was not a cruise focused on music.)
posted by John Borrowman at 9:41 AM PST - 14 comments

Best Youtube magic videos

What are the best stage magic/sleight-of-hand videos? Looking for some jaw-dropping effects but also for funny/original presentations!
posted by storybored at 9:26 AM PST - 5 comments

loan to pay off credit card bill

I have a credit card with a huge balance. I'd like to explore options to take out a loan with a lower interest rate than the card to pay off the bill and then pay down the debt with the loan. Help me figure this out? [more inside]
posted by thereemix at 8:19 AM PST - 19 comments

Reverse Osmosis waste water recycling

We have a reverse osmosis (RO) system in our house. RO systems waste a lot of water—I think I’ve read it’s 2 or even 3 gallons of waste for every gallon of filtered water. Our waste water just goes into a sink in our basement—rather than directly into a water pipe—so we could harvest it. We’re not going to drink it—salts and solids would be off the charts. Would the plants mind? What else can we do with this water? [more inside]
posted by Admiral Haddock at 8:16 AM PST - 5 comments

Benefits of advanced accounting degree/CPA licensure?

What are the benefits to having an advanced accounting degree or the requirements for CPA licensure? (or being a CPA) Trying to find out what new options may be available to me if I pursue this path. [more inside]
posted by sockpuppetfairy at 8:14 AM PST - 3 comments

Who is writing online about human connection?

In the throes of a paradigm-shifting personal epiphany that 'OMG SOCIAL BONDS MATTER', I am driven to seek readings or viewpoints that confirm the supreme correctness of my new worldview. Please recommend online writers who will keep me occupied with quiet reading, or else I'll annoy the living heck out of everyone near me by talking about it and (horror) drive them away. [more inside]
posted by MiraK at 7:41 AM PST - 17 comments

Alcohol delivery in Philly

I'd like to send a single bottle of Champagne next weekend to my dad for Father's Day. Are there any local shops or services in Center City that will do that? [more inside]
posted by backseatpilot at 7:13 AM PST - 8 comments

GitHub for beginners

I'm working on a small distributed project. Folks would like me to upload a few things (html documents) to GitHub. So, I need to get up to speed, at least as a basic user. Any resources that you would recommend? Video resources preferred. Thank you! [more inside]
posted by carter at 7:12 AM PST - 6 comments

Father-in-law called a scammer and gave them access to his laptop

My poor father-in-law called a scam phone number from a pop-up window, because he thought his Macbook had been hacked. He proceeded to give them control of the computer. My assumption is that after he gave them access, anything is on the table as far as malicious software installed on his computer, or information they've acquired. He didn't give them any information on the phone, but they presented him with a price table for how much it was going to cost to fix a number of different "problems" they found. What should he do next? [more inside]
posted by colossal at 7:12 AM PST - 7 comments

They're words, Jim, but not as we know them

Do the mouth noises that form the first two words of the chorus and announced title of Michael Flanders and Donald Swann's Happy Song occur as phonemes in any recognized language? What about those in the third word of the original title? What are their technical phonetic descriptions, if any, and can they be rendered in the International Phonetic Alphabet? If they can, that's my next set of T shirts sorted out.
posted by flabdablet at 5:44 AM PST - 2 comments

Flying with congestion/cold?

I'm due to fly 3,000 miles back to the east coast tomorrow. A bit worried because I came down with a cold last week. I'm over the cold but am still congested, with thick mucus coming from my nose. Bonus point: holding my nose and exhaling on the flight might not work, because my nose is very raw from continuous blowing, and even the littlest touch hurts. [more inside]
posted by dubious_dude at 12:30 AM PST - 41 comments

June 9

bread as a staple food, what does such a diet look like?

It turns out that I enjoy making bread, and since I can write off the labor as entertainment, home-made whole-wheat bread enriched with canola oil is an incredibly cheap way to get carbs, protein, fiber, and fat. The only problem is, I'm not from a culture that eats bread (at all) and I have no idea how one does it. Can the bread-eaters of MeFi describe how they incorporate bread into their meals? [more inside]
posted by meaty shoe puppet at 11:24 PM PST - 64 comments

Things to do, visit in evenings in Shenzhen

I am staying at Grand Hyatt - Shenzhen and have time in the evenings after work for the next four days. I don't speak any Mandarin or Cantonese, and I am not the most adventurous eater. I can get a bus pass or take a taxi. What are some cool places to visit, things to do, or places to eat within a reasonable distance of my hotel?
posted by apex_ at 9:26 PM PST - 8 comments

Looking for novels about disillusioned daughters

I’m hoping to read some novels or accounts of daughters growing increasingly disillusioned with their fathers. Think: the opposite of Scout Finch.
posted by jefficator at 8:47 PM PST - 21 comments

Need summer car storage in Seattle area

Anyone have suggestions on where to park my daughter’s car for 3 months in, or not too far from, Seattle? Doesn’t have to be fancy, but secure is nice. I’ve found some pricey storage options, but looking for something less expensive. Thanks!
posted by ecorrocio at 7:58 PM PST - 3 comments

Where can I find these sunglasses I used to have?

Where can I find some glasses like some few year old Arnette catfish white sunglasses that were stolen from me? I can find them all over google, just not with this sort of black inside trim I had before, and not as sturdy. Anyone know a direction to point me in?
posted by jitterbug perfume at 7:32 PM PST - 2 comments

Replacing steel frame windows

I am looking into replacing the old (1950s) steel windows in my house with vinyl windows. I have a specific question and also looking for any advice based on your experience. [more inside]
posted by falsedmitri at 7:27 PM PST - 7 comments

I have x, therefore I am x-ed

How can I teach the correct usage of the words bias and biased to my students? Seeking other word pairs that work the same. [more inside]
posted by freethefeet at 6:55 PM PST - 17 comments

Just Landed replacement

Is there an app or service that will tell me when to leave to pick someone up at the airport? Looking for an iOS replacement for the now-defunct Just Landed. [more inside]
posted by rossination at 6:46 PM PST - 4 comments

My hair stinks like mildew.

Well now I've done it. So apparently in the humidity hell I now live in, if you leave color conditioner (overtone) in your hair overnight you will end up with lovely colored mildew-scented hair and scalp. [more inside]
posted by Space Kitty at 4:23 PM PST - 7 comments

Father’s Day Opt-Out (Weekend Trip Suggestions)

My dad died this past January and I’ve been doing okay, but the thought of Father’s Day next Sunday feels daunting. I don’t want to sit home and wallow and a conveniently timed business trip has me considering a short trip instead. But where to go? [more inside]
posted by shesbookish at 3:40 PM PST - 4 comments

Help me get around my car's battery housing and jump start it!

The batty died this morning in my 2013 Hyundai Elantra. Ordinarily this wouldn't be an issue -- get out the jumper cables, jump-start the car, drive to the nearest auto supply store for a replacement. Except the housing of the battery is preventing a jump-start. Help! [more inside]
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 3:27 PM PST - 3 comments

recordkeeping tire pyrometer of the gods

i would like a probe based tire pyrometer for track use that does the record keeping for me. That is, when i probe inside, middle, and outside on each tire, it records the values and shows me the values from previous sessions. [more inside]
posted by zippy at 2:10 PM PST - 3 comments

Suggestions for a drive between Las Vegas, NV and John Muir Lodge

Mid-July I need to drive from the Las Vegas airport to John Muir Lodge in Kings Canyon National Park via I-15 and Hwy 58, then back again a few days later. I'd like to break up the drive both ways by stopping overnight both ways (Bakersfield?, Barstow?) and also by checking out any roadside attractions, diners, short detours, overlooks, whatever. Any suggestions?
posted by Jackson at 2:05 PM PST - 7 comments

How do you visit a point of interest on a military base?

While visiting Kansas City, Google maps suggested I visit the spot where the Santa Fe and Oregon trails meet. The only problem? It’s on the Fort Leavenworth military base. How would a civilian check it out? I can’t find any info about how to visit it online. [more inside]
posted by mathowie at 1:11 PM PST - 4 comments

App that measures walking AND cycling activity?

Is there an app for iPhone that will measure multiple both walking and cycling activity with minimal effort from me? [more inside]
posted by catesbie at 1:09 PM PST - 3 comments

Is barkcloth a comfortable fabric?

Would barkcloth be irratable for someone with sensitive skin? [more inside]
posted by cazoo at 12:59 PM PST - 6 comments

Durable (but compact) deli container for freezing

We seriously upped our cooking-ahead game when I bought this pack of deli containers and we started freezing things in 2 cup servings. More likely to freeze stuff, more likely to actually eat it. The problem is, they keep breaking. Can you recommend something a little less disposable? [more inside]
posted by telepanda at 12:28 PM PST - 14 comments

Assume spherical blinds in a vacuum... (very minor physics question)

I have nothing riding on the answer to this, I'm just idly curious about the physics behind the movement of some vertical blinds as they're being closed. [more inside]
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:19 PM PST - 9 comments

Why are movie captions sometimes inaccurate?

I'm fluent in Russian, and I've long noticed something strange about movies and TV programs that show English captions when characters speak Russian. Often, the translation isn't accurate. [more inside]
posted by alex1965 at 11:10 AM PST - 18 comments

Does this LEGO building block from my memory in the 1980s exist?

When I was a wee one in the 1980s, I remember stacking LEGO components that I can best describe as cargo/shipping containers on top of each other to make (what I considered) an apartment tower. Can you help this middle-aged mother confirm that this was a thing? [more inside]
posted by ellenaim at 10:33 AM PST - 8 comments

Are NYC lease buyout advisors a good idea?

I'm considering asking my New York City landlord to buy out my rent-stabilized lease. One is generally advised to retain a lawyer for this, but in the last year or so a few specialist buyout agents have sprung up. Because they're so new, I can't tell if they are a good idea or a scam. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 9:43 AM PST - 6 comments

Putting together a king size bed bought 2 years ago w/out instructions

I bought a king bed 2 years ago. We finally got a mattress and boxspring and put it together. After all is said and done there are four long pieces that don't have a home and head/foot board are a bit wobbly as a result. [more inside]
posted by timpanogos at 8:34 AM PST - 7 comments

Help me find an interactive art or toy for my nightstand!

I have room on my nightstand for something "fun." I have plenty of photos and figurines and knick-knacks throughout my house, so I thought this item could be a chance for some interactivity and creativity -- something to inspire me when getting up in the morning or to fuel my creativity before sleep. [more inside]
posted by Flying Saucer at 8:29 AM PST - 5 comments

food science careers: I wanna hear about'em.

What it says on the tin. Do you or someone you know have a food-related career that isn't cooking/baking? I'd love to hear about it. [more inside]
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:26 AM PST - 18 comments

Beginner rates for copy editing?

What rate should I charge as an amateur copy editor for fiction? [more inside]
posted by daisyk at 7:13 AM PST - 7 comments

Fixing a purse strap

The strap on my purse broke last night. This seems fixable. What kind of business could fix this hardware?
posted by pxe2000 at 3:58 AM PST - 1 comment

Domestic-sized side-wringer mop bucket and side-gate mop?

I love the ubiquitous professional mop system: a side-wringer bucket, side-gate mop handle, and replaceable string mop head. But it's way too big to use at home, especially the bucket. Is there a smaller version, which still wrings effectively, lets me remove the mop head for laundering, and stands up to rough use? [more inside]
posted by meaty shoe puppet at 2:44 AM PST - 6 comments

June 8

Work Email Signature Etiquette: Genderfeels Edition

My workplace is launching an initiative encouraging everyone to add their pronouns to their email signatures. Many people had already taken the initiative, as this has been an optional field on the email sig template for a while, but it's becoming a formal addition, per our style guide. This is being handled in a thoughtful and sensitive way, and they are taking care to explain the concept thoroughly, and getting employee buy-in, and that is all great! Except: the prospect of actively claiming a specific set of pronouns in my workplace is freaking me out. What do? [more inside]
posted by halation at 8:47 PM PST - 25 comments

NPR story on the subject of commitment

One day last week NPR interviewed the author of a book on the subject of commitment with special attention being given to various tricks people use to keep commitments to themselves. Can anyone give me the writer's name?
posted by Junker George at 7:36 PM PST - 2 comments

Soulsborne Let's Plays

I would like to watch relatively thorough YouTube playthroughs of Dark Souls 2, Dark Souls 3, and Bloodborne, because I am an old and no longer have the patience or reflexes to get gud at these sorts of games, but think they're very cool aesthetically and from a game design standpoint. I would like to not hate the player, and my tolerance for bullshit is low. [more inside]
posted by Caduceus at 5:42 PM PST - 5 comments

Greek Dressing

I am trying to duplicate a greek salad dressing that my Mom loves. I have found many variations but haven't yet gotten it just right! So, I'm asking for any and all recipes / suggestions that the hive may have. [more inside]
posted by PlantGoddess at 4:53 PM PST - 5 comments

Personal finance for cash flow modeling

Are there good tools for personal budgeting that are good at handling spiky income (I get paid bi-weekly, but also get semi-annual stock vesting) and spiky costs (childcare, property taxes, quarterly estimated taxes, etc.)? [more inside]
posted by heresiarch at 3:53 PM PST - 12 comments

Can you identify this iris?

We have this iris growing in the yard and want to buy more. Any idea what variety it could be?
posted by marfa, texas at 2:57 PM PST - 7 comments

Phoenix to Yuma and back: fly or drive?

Next month I'm going to Yuma, AZ in order to get some dental work done in nearby Los Algodones, Mexico. Should I fly to Yuma from Phoenix or rent a car at the Phoenix airport and drive? [more inside]
posted by all the light we cannot see at 1:39 PM PST - 10 comments

BESTBY APR0120XX

A different kind of expiration date question. I have a pack of Earth Balance Organic Whipped Buttery Spread (vegan vegetable oil spread). On the side of the lid is printed: "BESTBY APR0120XX 15:17" I assume 15:17 is some kind of packing code and not the exact time it expires, but what's up with April 01, 20XX? How do I determine the value of X? Do I have a whole century to eat it? If they're referring to the year 2020, why didn't they just print that, since they obviously had enough characters in the stamp?
posted by leeloo minai at 7:30 AM PST - 9 comments

Things to cover work surfaces in kitchen?

I have two questions about some kind of cleanable surfaces, one portable and one not, to use in my kitchen. [more inside]
posted by Frowner at 7:15 AM PST - 17 comments

Marcus Garvey bean salad

I was looking up foods to serve on Juneteenth and this salad was mentioned. [more inside]
posted by acrasis at 6:28 AM PST - 5 comments

If a PDF falls in the forest, & no one hears it, does it make a splash?

My communications organization doesn't have a robust/consistent way to track publication downloads- now a key indicator in our performance plans (individual and organizational). I want to present ideas, options, and at least an outline of a protocol. Problem: I'm not an IT person. [more inside]
posted by iiniisfree at 4:37 AM PST - 8 comments

Can you have a funeral without small talk? Want to plan better funerals

How do you have a funeral with minimal small talk? Or at least minimal small talk for the chief mourner? Or at least minimal small talk for ME, if I am the chief mourner? [more inside]
posted by Jenny'sCricket at 3:19 AM PST - 23 comments

Where can I find help identifying new potential career paths?

I need to switch jobs some time in the next year or two. I have no idea what my experience and skill set qualify me to do. Is there a resource or service that can take my qualifications and suggest some good alternative careers in which I could ACTUALLY get a job with a future? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 1:58 AM PST - 8 comments

You must be a friend.........?

I can't seem to keep friends for more than four years. Common denominator is me. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 1:58 AM PST - 22 comments

Dystopian book with Brahms and Schumann

Some time before 2006 I borrowed a book from a public library in Canberra. It was about, or partly about, the relationship between Brahms and Schumann. I am trying to find out what it was, not because I particularly want to read it but just to scratch the itch. I didn’t finish the book, partly because I know Brahms never married, and was a regular customer of Vienna’s ladies of the night, but I doubted that he was that much of a scoundrel. [more inside]
posted by Logophiliac at 1:41 AM PST - 4 comments

June 7

Easy slideshow from iPhone album?

I have an iPhone XR album that I'd like to show as a slideshow at a party. What's the easiest way to do this? [more inside]
posted by nouvelle-personne at 10:03 PM PST - 5 comments

Why is the guitar like it is and not otherwise?

The modern-day six-string guitar's apparent lack of internal logic has always frustrated me. What technical or historical issues have lead to it being created this way? [more inside]
posted by solarion at 9:51 PM PST - 15 comments

Former CS major thinking of getting back into tech?

I graduated five years ago with a BA in Computer Science from a fairly reputable school. Since then I haven't used my degree much--possibly (probably) due to a lot of difficulty I had at the end of the program, what with severe imposter's syndrome and some other personal/health issues--but I'd like to start. What's the best way to go about this? [more inside]
posted by junques at 8:50 PM PST - 8 comments

Getting the Most out of Live Social Media

I have an event coming up in two weeks. In addition to the live event, I'm trying to decide whether I should also stream it on Facebook Live, Skype or Periscope. Are these the best live social media platforms, or are there others that do a better job? The most important part of the event will probably last about 30 minutes. [more inside]
posted by CollectiveMind at 7:22 PM PST - 1 comment

Warm trash bin + dog poop = FLIES

Is there anything non-toxic I can spray or sprinkle in/on/around my large, wheeled municipal trashbin that will dissuade flies from being SO ATTRACTED to the (bagged) dog poop inside? [more inside]
posted by Ufez Jones at 6:18 PM PST - 15 comments

The arch nemesis of the backcountry.

I'm going on a three-day, 30-mile backpacking trip in exactly 36 hours. I'm semi-successfully holding off an advancing case of plantar fasciitis. I can't cancel or postpone the trip. What can I do - now and then - to fend off any flare-ups along the way? [more inside]
posted by mykescipark at 3:36 PM PST - 7 comments

Not that kind of literary gravitas

Attention sci-fi aficionados: I'm looking for examples of gravity manipulation in science fiction. Not just mere taking advantage of gravitational fields for orbital mechanics and the like, but actual manipulation/generation of gravity. These can be the very basic Half-Life style gravity guns up to some sort of massive device that can move worlds. Ideally, the author shows a bit of work or backstory on that explains them more like practical tech than space fantasy energy weapons, and gravity manipulation is a pillar of the story somehow. Any suggestions? Thanks!
posted by Burhanistan at 2:32 PM PST - 27 comments

Seeking long weekend destination 3-4 hours from Toronto

My lovely husband has suggested we have a kid-free long weekend over July 26-28. We can go anywhere, do anything... but since it's just the weekend would like to keep travel time to a max of 3-4 hours from Toronto. Where should we go? What should we do when we get there? [more inside]
posted by dotparker at 2:07 PM PST - 13 comments

Academic basis for "participatory learning"

What is the academic basis for participatory approaches in learning, especially in classrooms where second or other languages are being taught? [more inside]
posted by chappell, ambrose at 1:04 PM PST - 7 comments

Where do your kids do their computer homework?

In what part of the house do your middle schoolers do computer homework? Do they have dedicated desks? Float around with laptops? Share a family computer in an open space? How do you keep them on task and away from distractions? How did you figure it out? [more inside]
posted by rouftop at 11:50 AM PST - 15 comments

Managing fatigue

After undergoing a very stressful time at work about 4 years ago, I developed a chronic illness by having (what I now know as) a flare of severe fatigue over several days. What are your strategies for managing your illness and its impact on your life? [more inside]
posted by elsmith at 11:45 AM PST - 14 comments

Social media for a work-focused conference/ organization: aye/ nay, how?

I'm a social media noob, in that I don't use Twitter or Instagram, and I only use Facebook sporadically, but I've stood up to be the "tech coordinator" for a multi-state land use and transportation planning (and adjacent fields) conference (I have a range of duties, not just social media). Our organization's web presence is currently limited, and I was wondering if there'd be value in our boosting social media presence in the lead-up to the conference in early September 2019. [more inside]
posted by filthy light thief at 11:43 AM PST - 5 comments

Logo programming in schools?

I am trying to better understand the reach and influence of the educational programming language Logo. Did you use logo in school, and if so: what grade were you in, how old are you now (or what year was it then), and where was the school?
posted by Westringia F. at 11:34 AM PST - 86 comments

Please help me be a better mentor.

As a teacher/mentor, I am emotionally exhausted. Please give me your tips and advice. [more inside]
posted by Dashy at 11:15 AM PST - 8 comments

Advice on buying a cheap, used, 4WD truck?

After drama with not one! but two! beater Jeep Grand Cherokees (Straight 6, both of 'em, so at least I've got that going for me? Ugh.), I'm finding myself in need of a super-duper reliable, light-duty 4WD truck for both daily driving and farm work. For cheap. What's best? [more inside]
posted by functionequalsform at 11:10 AM PST - 9 comments

Awareness vs Triggering: Suicide Prevention Campaign on Campus

The small community college where I work is engaged in a heated discussion about a suicide awareness campaign. Resources/framing advice needed. [more inside]
posted by Caxton1476 at 11:07 AM PST - 25 comments

Forgetting Solutions and Needing to Endlessly Rediscover Them

You hit some snag. You ask around, surf around, fool around, eventually figuring out the solution. Then a few months later you have the same problem, but can't remember the solution, and need to repeat the process. It's the bane of my existence. So: what are some strategies for commenting-out solutions for my future self without going full Rain Man? [more inside]
posted by Quisp Lover at 9:47 AM PST - 33 comments

Can’t bring sexy back if I didn’t have it in the first place!

I’ve been cast in a role in a musical that is very much outside of my comfort zone - the sexy, busty, leggy blonde love interest. I’m a woman in my thirties who was never dated and has always been chubby and not overly comfortable with my body. How do I, over the course of the next two months, figure out how to play sexy on stage? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 9:12 AM PST - 33 comments

Looking for Movies With Characters That Make Art

I’m interested in compiling a list of movies in which one or more of the characters make art. Any suggestions? [more inside]
posted by carlypennylane at 8:51 AM PST - 51 comments

How to debunk anti-vaccine sources?

Typically, the sources cited by anti-vaxxers to provide evidence that vaccines cause autism or are otherwise dangerous are not credible and thus easily dismissible. This Gish gallop of a Reddit post is something else, though—50 different links, many of them to NCBI or other academic journals. [more inside]
posted by Bodechack at 8:46 AM PST - 11 comments

Late July events/activities/classes for two adults in the USA?

My husband and I are lucky to have ten days free (July 16-26), but we need to remain in the United States. We prefer to stay in one place, and do something we couldn’t normally fit into a long weekend. [more inside]
posted by BusyBusyBusy at 8:42 AM PST - 7 comments

Advice on an unescorted trip to Iran - U.S. female edition

Basically what it says on the tin. I'm an American woman dating a Persian man. (He's a U.S. citizen but considered an Iranian by the government there.) Visiting Iran has been a dream for decades, there's an opportunity later this year, and I don't want an escorted tour. What are our options? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 8:18 AM PST - 3 comments

Tween weight loss

My 10 year old has expressed a desire to lose weight. Specifically, he wants his belly to extend less. (Details inside.) What methods would actually work at this age? Time and money are limited around here, so I only want to embark on a process that will work (vs, say, sign him up for rock climbing at $30/hr and not get any results). What dietary changes and exercise changes will actually work? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 8:18 AM PST - 37 comments

Managing ADHD without medication

ADHDFilter: stimulant meds generally work well for me. But I'm traveling somewhere where they're illegal. For others with similar challenges, do you have any advice for managing without meds? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 8:18 AM PST - 13 comments

Self-improvement vacation: public speaking or confidence courses?

Is there a residential public speaking, confidence or related course that I could go on for a personal development-themed vacation? I love vacations where I learn things and meet interesting people. I've previously done meditation retreats and courses at Esalen on the recommendation of the good people of Ask MeFi. I'm looking for something similarly off-beat; intense-but-enjoyable is OK :) [more inside]
posted by Junebug79 at 8:14 AM PST - 2 comments

Does this pair of headphones exist?

I work from home across multiple devices and need a new set of headphones, probably cans. I've got a very special snowflake set of needs though, do they even exist? [more inside]
posted by TomMelee at 6:50 AM PST - 4 comments

Help me Build a Better Schedule

I've been put in charge of making a schedule for my group of employees. It's hard, and I'd like to incorporate ranked choices. [more inside]
posted by cacofonie at 5:54 AM PST - 9 comments

Considerations for buying a house

Some practical and existential questions about moving from a small condo in a major urban area to a large house in the residential neighborhood of a smaller city. Topics include: being handy, avoiding a cookie-cutter aesthetic, additional considerations if you'll be telecommuting most of the time. [more inside]
posted by leedly at 5:52 AM PST - 18 comments

Ladybug or Asian Lady Beetle?

I can't tell but one of you surely can [more inside]
posted by Right On Red at 4:06 AM PST - 3 comments

June 6

Seeking source of quote about making art as a minority

A few years ago I read a quote from a (POC I believe, at least a minority of some fashion) artist where the gist was "because we're minorities no one cares what we make, but because no one cares we can make whatever we want". (It was shared via a Facebook post so it's devoid of context.) I can't seem to find the source though and Google is failing me. Help?
posted by divabat at 9:10 PM PST - 0 comments

Mass copyright switcheroo

For the last few years, I've been doing a multimedia comedic performance of rather small scale (10-40 people/show) that uses a boatload of copyrighted images. Since I never considered recording it, posting it online, claiming those images as my own, or generally profiting from their use outside of the paltry $5-$10 I would get for a performance, I never really considered it a problem. Cut to this week, where I've found myself staring down the barrel of a taping. Please help. [more inside]
posted by Philipschall at 7:52 PM PST - 7 comments

Seeking more BBQ recipes

Mefites, Here in the bay area, it is finally starting to warm up and I'd like to celebrate with some new recipes to make on the grill. I typically grill burgers, chopped veggies on a sheet of foil and sausage/dogs,. I am looking to diversify into other meat and veggie recipes that can be made on a gas grill. Ideally nothing that requires hours and hours of cook time. Please share your favorite bbq recipes!
posted by fonzie at 6:29 PM PST - 20 comments

🎶Burning Down the House🎶

I live in a NYC apartment. I just stained a coffee table (on purpose) with mineral spirit based stain. I have approximately 12 paper towels coated in completely dry stain that I need to dispose of. What's a safe/acceptable way to do this? [more inside]
posted by aloiv2 at 3:31 PM PST - 11 comments

Feeling Overwhelmed

MeFites, I need help. I spent the other day home from work because of a mental breakdown. I've had a series of mental breakdowns over the past few years and I need help figuring out what to do. [more inside]
posted by adelaide at 3:18 PM PST - 24 comments

Sous Vide Update

What are your favorite at home sous vide recipes? You love your sous vide and use it all the time. Or you use it once a year for a special thing. Maybe you got it from serious eats, or the precious sous vide catch all a few years ago. [more inside]
posted by bilabial at 2:57 PM PST - 19 comments

Mac App Interface Examples

There are several well-known Mac apps where the app's main window can act as a drop-pad for files/folders to be manipulated in-app. As you drag a file/folder toward the app window, it senses this and changes design to encourage you to drop the item you're dragging. Can anyone think of apps that behave this way?
posted by Quisp Lover at 1:36 PM PST - 11 comments

Dealing with the pain of a friend breakup that I'm not sure is happening

One of my oldest and dearest friends (who I do have some sexual history with) has apparently stopped wanting to interact with me, and it hurts so badly. How do I manage this especially with the uncertainty of what is actually happening? [more inside]
posted by socktothepuppet at 1:26 PM PST - 31 comments

Looking for shoes with a 13mm (approx) drop - for wearing about town

I am in the UK and looking for shoes with a 13mm (approx) drop - for wearing about town. I need the drop or else my achilles tendons inflame. [more inside]
posted by Quillcards at 1:09 PM PST - 5 comments

Information about t-cell prolymphocytic leukemia

My father has suddenly been diagnosed with t-cell prolymphocytic leukemia. They are considering treating him with alemtuzumab. I am pretty much at a loss here.He's asked me to find recent research about this to read. (I have friends with university library access so assume I can access anything paywalled.) I don't have enough knowledge, or, honestly, brainpower, to find things right now. [more inside]
posted by sockingjay at 12:59 PM PST - 7 comments

Please help with blown fuse/electrical problem in 60 year old rural home

While trying to put a new 40 watt light bulb into a kitchen chandelier, it sparked, blew the bulb and the whole chandelier went out. So, we went down to check the fuses... [more inside]
posted by kitcat at 12:01 PM PST - 12 comments

Where in the world could I live?

My new job is 100% online and it's dawned on me that this means I could live... anywhere! There are certain things I would desire in an ideal place of residence, and I am very poorly travelled so am struggling to imagine the options that might be out there- could you help me dream of my ideal move? [more inside]
posted by Balthamos at 10:31 AM PST - 52 comments

Help me identify this short play!

I heard this play on the podcast Playing on Air, but I couldn't find it again myself. The play has two characters, a wife and husband talking together in the morning. They start out bickering/bantering over coffee and then it's revealed that it's the wife's birthday and the husband has totally forgotten. The wife describes how she's worried about her birthday party, because she's been lying about her age and telling different friends different ages and doesn't know what to do. The couple also discusses getting a divorce.
posted by overglow at 9:09 AM PST - 2 comments

New job offer requires nicotine testing. I had nicotine. What do I do?

I sometimes (1-2x/week) use 4mg nicotine lozenges to get through long, irregular shifts that often go overnight. I used a lozenge both Monday and Tuesday nights, only using about half each time. I just found out that the new awesome job I just was just offered requires a nicotine test by Friday (two business days of job acceptance). The documentation states the offer will be rescinded if I test positive. What are my options? What's the likelihood this level of usage will show up? Should I try to delay the testing till Monday?
posted by anonymous at 8:59 AM PST - 10 comments

Advice for an American wanting to expatriate permanently?

I'm 44 and single, and I live a reasonably decent life in Manhattan, but the values of my country (insofar as Manhattan reflects the U.S.) don't suit me anymore. I've been considering restarting in Europe or Canada. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 8:56 AM PST - 22 comments

Coping with abandonment after breaking up with my therapist of 9 years

I just ended it with a very long term therapist and want to know how to deal with the feelings of abandonment and loss? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 8:56 AM PST - 6 comments

Ebbets Field Flannels tees; inked or not?

I love the retro baseball tees at Ebbets Field Flannels. But before I buy one, I need to know something I can't seem to find on the site. Hoping someone here has bought one and can tell me. [more inside]
posted by jrchaplin at 8:31 AM PST - 5 comments

How can I make this surprise roadtrip with my 13yo boy more epic?

My son is turning 13 later this month, and our gift to him is a surprise father-son roadtrip for a week. I have a ton of cool stuff planned - baseball games, an amusement park, ziplining, and rock climbing. But I want to make the in-the-middle stuff memorable, too. What can I do to make this an all time great trip? [more inside]
posted by AgentRocket at 8:12 AM PST - 41 comments

Help Me Identify this short SciFi story ..? MeFi You're my Only Hope!

Story is told from point of view of a woman who is kept in an environmentally sealed lab, but she doesn't know why. She might have grown up inside lab? The only person she communicates with is the Male lab assistant. At some point she escapes and it's inferred that this is bad.. Apocalyptic levels of bad. The Planet the lab is on is described as barren - dessert like. I can't remember what happened at the end but it gave me an intense feeling of unease. [more inside]
posted by Faintdreams at 7:56 AM PST - 12 comments

Things that come in multiples of 4/8/16 for a 16th Birthday?

KiddoHawk is turning 16 and wifeHawk came up with an idea to make the presents all about the number 16... and I'm out of ideas! [more inside]
posted by niteHawk at 7:39 AM PST - 17 comments

Another Tattoo Tipping Question

If I'm getting a very small touch-up (like less than 1/4 inch) of some new ink that my skin pushed out of a 6-week old tattoo, and this is a free service, should I tip? If so, about how much?
posted by outfielder at 7:24 AM PST - 5 comments

Becoming a Mother While Single

I'm 33, single, and want to have children. I've done a lot of dating but it hasn't worked out. At this point, I'm thinking of going the donor route. But is it really a good idea -- from the perspective of the child/children and from my own? [more inside]
posted by nowadays at 7:24 AM PST - 36 comments

Resealing Gore-tex boots?

My Gore-tex boots are no longer waterproof (2.5 years old.) Has anyone had luck "resealing" breathable boots and if so, how?
posted by gwint at 6:44 AM PST - 5 comments

I didn't Know That Meant Spaghetti in Japanese

Traveling to Japan this fall. I would like to able to read and comprehend menus and most signs. What are the best online learning options for learning Katakana and Hiragana at an elementary school level?
posted by Xurando at 6:09 AM PST - 11 comments

Name My Children (Small Group Categories Elementary)

My class is divided into A and B. We normally give each group a cute name. This year I had apple group and banana group. But, I also have small groups in each grouping. I'd love to be able to further subdivide my A and B groups without resorting to colors to distinguish them. I'm after suggestions of category pairs! Thoughts so far are for Fruits and Vegetables or Plants and Animals.
posted by Trifling at 6:02 AM PST - 14 comments

UK law regarding hourly wages and arrival time at employment.

If my UK employer says that they expect me to arrive at my my workplace before my shift in order to login to systems and prepare my workspace beforehand, am I entitled to decline and/or request payment for this time? [more inside]
posted by chudmonkey at 4:34 AM PST - 8 comments

Bird frozen in place

I found a bird on the path outside my office building. It would not move from its spot. What was going on? [more inside]
posted by Gordafarin at 2:21 AM PST - 5 comments

June 5

[NamingFilter] Name my divorce

As of yesterday, I'm going through a divorce. I'm also a project manager, I enjoy doing it and I do it well. I'm getting ready to project-manage my divorce, but first, I need a really good name for this "project". [more inside]
posted by gakiko at 11:17 PM PST - 58 comments

All I want to do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom

I need a videoconferencing option with special, specific snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by Toddles at 10:22 PM PST - 6 comments

Reverse-engineering a cookie recipe for super-thick cookies

These super-thick cookies look amazing. How do I make them? [more inside]
posted by alex1965 at 9:02 PM PST - 7 comments

Name of a post-war British sci-fi/apocalypse novel . . .

The premise of this book is that a plague or a mysterious gas has been released into society. The main effect of this plague/substance is to remove all social inhibitions, which, of course, causes pandemonium, martial law, etc. [more inside]
posted by the hot hot side of randy at 8:45 PM PST - 10 comments

Help identify this Pedro Laza cumbia track?

>This< is the track in question. Shazam keeps telling me it's Pedro Laza's "La Canoa", but it's...not? Laza has plenty of clarinet in his stuff, so the artist is probably right. Know any cumbia superfans? Is this "Ron y Limon"?
posted by paul_smatatoes at 8:18 PM PST - 1 comment

I need a new keyboad, as it's dopping ah's and has a few othe issues

My logitech K520r wireless keyboard is an odd, uncomfortable beast, lacks a NumLock light and is dropping r's increasingly often. I've neve had a wieless keyboard before and as I'm never moe than 2metes from my system box it doesn't give me any advantage. What are your favourite keyboards and why are they so good? [more inside]
posted by unearthed at 8:00 PM PST - 16 comments

Gift advice for my soon-to-be 15-year-old niece

When her older sister turned 15, we bought her a pre-trendy (pre-Urban Outfitters inventory) Fjallraven backpack, which she loved. Kids at her school had never seen one (except the European exchange students), and she got major cool points for having something unavailable at any local mall or shop. Now it's time for the younger sister. Help me find something cool that no other kid in Tampa, Florida will have. [more inside]
posted by yellowcandy at 7:50 PM PST - 14 comments

Short story about magical foreign car with trunk welded shut

Years ago, I read a short story about a man who bought a magical /possessed "foreign" car from a mechanic. The trunk of the car was permanently welded shut for unknown, mysterious reasons. The car could accomplish miracles (driving hundreds of miles on an empty gas tank) but would punish the driver (by breaking?) for getting angry at it. It may have also been able to repair itself. Who is the author and and what is the title of this story? Added details below the jump [more inside]
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 7:47 PM PST - 2 comments

How to talk to my boss about career advancement?

I want to know if I can talk to my boss about some issues I'm having about career advancement. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 6:57 PM PST - 2 comments

pacific northYES

I will have an opportunity to visit Seattle at pretty much any time this year or next, for a week. When do I want to go, and what do I want to do? [more inside]
posted by colorblock sock at 3:57 PM PST - 18 comments

Managing up multiplied

I have 3-5 bosses depending on who is drawing the lines and aside from how annoying that is generally, how do I navigate the performance review process? I want a bonus, and want to toot my own horn effectively. [more inside]
posted by crunchy potato at 3:48 PM PST - 14 comments

Glitchy pop suggestions for a tween?

DOT Jr. is starting to get into music. His current favorites are Billie Eilish and Superorganism. What else might he like? We are looking for catchy, glitchy recent (within the last 5 years) stuff within PG-13 limits. The more interesting the performer's persona, the better. [more inside]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 3:26 PM PST - 23 comments

Merchandising! Merchandising!

How do I, a manufacturer, hook up with a company, agency, or brand which holds the merchandising rights to a franchise or media property, to see if I can manufacture merchandise for them? [more inside]
posted by Jon_Evil at 3:10 PM PST - 1 comment

Are there sex clubs for introverts?

Spouse and I will be in NYC in October. We were half joking/half not about going to a sex party. But we’re both introverts and to be honest would prefer not to engage with a lot of strangers. Is there such a place? Potentially ridiculous wish list inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 2:53 PM PST - 9 comments

VW Transporter (or similar) tray/bed in the United States? Not the whole

Is there a source for used (new if necessary) European/Austrailian-style truck/lorry/ute beds/trays in the continental US? Not necessarily VW. [more inside]
posted by sandra_s at 2:22 PM PST - 6 comments

Are "interest-free" cell phone purchase plans REALLY interest-free?

My phone keeps crashing and I think it's probably time to upgrade. My carrier is Verizon and they claim that I can upgrade my phone on a 24-month payment plan with 0% APR. What's the catch? [more inside]
posted by capricorn at 1:44 PM PST - 15 comments

What to do with my large book collection

After 35 years , I am leaving the USA next month, and I don't know what to do with my extensive book collection. I am getting rid of ALL my belogings to start a fresh beginning in Denmark, and letting go of my books is the only thing that I have a hard time with. [more inside]
posted by growabrain at 1:41 PM PST - 15 comments

Looking for a comic book scene... fell under ice... Tintin? Boy’s Life?

Looking for a half remembered series of comic panels... A comic-book protagonist falls beneath the ice on a frozen lake or river, is thought lost but survives by breathing thin layer of air under the ice with his nose, breaks through the ice with a hatchet and in doing so, strikes either the antagonist or his long-suffering friend on the bottom of the foot with the tip of the hatchet. [more inside]
posted by blueberry at 12:55 PM PST - 7 comments

Why are central Americans migrating?

What is happening down there to cause people to flee? [more inside]
posted by Mesaverdian at 12:50 PM PST - 11 comments

How can I easily fix my bathroom medicine cabinet mirror?

My medicine cabinet's mirror has developed these big black spots behind the glass. Ugly. I can't easily replace the medicine cabinet itself. Is there a way to fix this situation without replacing the cabinet?
posted by storybored at 12:34 PM PST - 8 comments

Language learning for the rather hearing impaired?

I have long wanted to both learn Mandarin and increase my Japanese vocabulary, but now that I have moderate hearing loss I'm finding language acquisition challenging. With Mandarin I really can't distinguish between some of the tones, and am stymied by most language learning materials. Are there any materials geared more towards the written language? Also, could someone point me towards good tutorials on entering characters into Windows 10? [more inside]
posted by Soliloquy at 12:26 PM PST - 5 comments

What's a good substitute for heavy cream in soup?

I often cook a particular soup that I finish with heavy whipping cream at the end. Is there a non-dairy substitute that would impart that same yummy creaminess? Also, just as a general cooking question, I learned this soup from a recipe, and I've actually wondered for a while if it's a bad idea to put cold cream into hot soup in terms of temperature difference. I haven't died yet but I do wonder.
posted by Forty-eight at 11:50 AM PST - 29 comments

Florence, South Carolina for a few hours

I’m visiting family in Florence, SC and staying in a hotel nearish to the Civic Center. I don’t drive and rarely travel alone so I’m a tiny bit anxious about being trapped in a strange place when I’m used to being able to walk or hop on a train and do whatever I want. [more inside]
posted by mokeydraws at 11:01 AM PST - 2 comments

Simple tool for postcard project

I have a friend with a lot of old family postcards she'd like to transcribe and put online. It's a manageable project but she's wondering if there's a better tool than Flickr? [more inside]
posted by jessamyn at 10:58 AM PST - 5 comments

Bored of compensating for unprofessional work culture(s)

I'm a humanist with a strong technical streak, who finally found a niche as a technical writer in IT, and I'm doing OK, financially and professionally better than ever. After almost a decade, though, my personal motivation for putting up with generally unprofessional work culture (micromanagement/randomness/lack of planning/weird hours/half-assing/sexism etc.) in almost every place I've worked is nearly spent, even though I try to develop myself, put in the hours and do an above-average job, and I need the (decent) money to support my young family. How can I get past this without burning out, flipping out, or dropping out?
posted by anonymous at 10:36 AM PST - 9 comments

How get past Mac log in screen when keyboard won't work?

I password protect my Mac desktop. This morning, after it worked last night, the keyboard won't work. I changed the batteries. Still won't work. Problem is, I can't go into system preferences to see what's up because I can't type in the password to get pass the log in screen. Any advice? Thanks!
posted by holdenjordahl at 10:11 AM PST - 12 comments

Draw and talk about things

I'm seeking a video (not a specific video, but rather your suggestions for videos) where someone draws and talks about: ideas, inspiration, innovation, etc. [more inside]
posted by phunniemee at 9:31 AM PST - 9 comments

Free WordPress gallery plugins with specified criteria

Friend needs an image gallery plugin whose free version includes the attributes listed below the fold:-- [more inside]
posted by dancing leaves at 9:01 AM PST - 1 comment

To Preworkout or To Not Preworkout?

I am entering a new phase of training and I have some questions about preworkout, mainly if taking it makes any real appreciable difference, or if I'm just flushing money down the tubes. My trainer's response is "Do it if it makes you feel better" which while helpful in a general sense is not definitive. Googling this for me has been, possibly predictably, difficult due to promotional content, therefore I find myself Asking MetaFilter. Workout Mavens of MeFi, does preworkout make a difference? Post? [more inside]
posted by Medieval Maven at 8:39 AM PST - 12 comments

Fast way to automatically cut and export a video into multiple files?

I'm trying to make a music video. I'm taking a TON of different gifs/videos and cutting them up into individual 1 second files. Is there any program out there that can do this automatically, and at a good speed? I'm imagining something where I upload the video/gif, tell it how many clips I want (or how long each clip should be), tell it where to save, and let it do it's thing. I then rinse and repeat. [more inside]
posted by ggp88 at 8:35 AM PST - 13 comments

Not-slim-cut men's linen shirt please

Where can I find a reasonably-priced, decent quality linen shirt for a man with a bit of a belly? Uniqlo would ordinarily be my go-to ($20!!) but I think they're probably too fitted.
posted by Bluesocking at 8:14 AM PST - 15 comments

Mural suggestions

I have a seventeen foot diameter dome with a six foot hole down the middle (picture 1, picture 2) that I would like to have a mural inside of. Ideas welcome. [more inside]
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:12 AM PST - 16 comments

Substance abuse programs and permanent health records?

With my personal "war on drugs" not going as well as I had originally hoped, my therapist and I have decided that a substance abuse treatment program would be the logical next step. I'm balking, though, since I'm worried that entering one of these programs will get me put on some sort of "has drug abuse issues" list which will have doctors looking at me askance during my office visits. Could anyone knowledgable on the subject inform me as to what kind of information will go into the permanent health record if I enter one of these programs? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 8:05 AM PST - 9 comments

recommendations for a flip/clamshell smartphone?

niche smartphone filter: I'm looking for a flip/clamshell smartphone and could use help finding a model! [more inside]
posted by mirileh at 7:53 AM PST - 1 comment

give me the F O R B I D D E N K E Y S

Thanks to Mefi Project I snagged up forbiddenkeys.com as a domain name. What do I put on it? An ARG? 'Adult' content? Photos of keys? An adult ARG involving keys? [more inside]
posted by divabat at 7:43 AM PST - 20 comments

Nice bar in .... Time Square? Maybe?

Where can several people drop in for dinner/drinks near Times Square, NYC? We have tickets to a 7pm show so I need a casual place that people can show up at whenever. [more inside]
posted by silverstatue at 6:54 AM PST - 12 comments

Help me find a Toronto nutritionist who understands emotional eating.

My partner and I (age 49 and 50) both struggle with emotional eating and excess weight. We would like to find a qualified nutritionist in the Toronto area who can help us change unhealthy habits. [more inside]
posted by prairiecatherine at 6:52 AM PST - 4 comments

Can I Drink This? - Iced Coffee Edition

My Yeti tumbler kept the ice cubes frozen in my iced coffee over night. Can I enjoy my iced coffee this morning? [more inside]
posted by stripesandplaid at 6:44 AM PST - 14 comments

How do you cook for your family?

I know this may count as a google-able question, but I cannot read another family blog that begins with a story of giving their dog a bath or the crazy thing that happened to them at the supermarket. I need to figure out how best to do dinner for my family with some complications. Please help! [more inside]
posted by heavenknows at 3:35 AM PST - 31 comments

June 4

Recommendations for a printer/scanner?

My old printer/scanner is dying, so I'm looking for recommendations for a new one for home use that's reliable without being too costly. [more inside]
posted by gtrwolf at 11:34 PM PST - 13 comments

Résumé sherpa needed

Software engineer here, going back on the job market for the first time in six years. I'd like to hire a pro who can take my jumbled litany of experiences, skills, and goals, and help me turn it into a magnificent résumé. Does anyone have personal recommendations for, or experiences with, a tech résumé-writing service? [more inside]
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 10:36 PM PST - 11 comments

Employment Lawyer in Seattle

Please recommend an employment lawyer in the Seattle area. Especially interested in folks experienced with the tech industry and ageism.
posted by anonymous at 10:19 PM PST - 1 comment

Until the feminist revolution, we must make our own pockets

My partner wants some way to carry stuff when they wear skirts. Purses are not an option. What can I DIY? [more inside]
posted by brook horse at 6:28 PM PST - 32 comments

Termites?

Last November, my renter discovered a pile of frass under her wooden dresser... *cue ominous insect buzzing sounds* [more inside]
posted by Armed Only With Hubris at 5:49 PM PST - 5 comments

Best affordable summer camp/canoe trip supplies for 12yo boy

We are not outdoor people but our son is excited to go to canoeing camp in New England this summer. This means he'll probably encounter variable weather and temperatures. Being cold, wet and miserable will certainly doom the whole adventure so can mefites help me decide how to best spend my limited budget to get him the necessary equipment that will protect him from the elements and survive two months of abuse by a pre-teen? [more inside]
posted by victoriab at 5:42 PM PST - 24 comments

Can’t I just be honest?

Working on boundaries with family still and certain friends. I’ve been conditioned to this “Can’t I just be honest with you?” Phrase in response to me saying what they said is hurtful/offensive/just don’t want to hear it. Am I drawing boundaries in the wrong place then? [more inside]
posted by buttonedup at 5:38 PM PST - 29 comments

Trying for Children Before Wedlock?

What are the downsides for actively trying for children before being married? [more inside]
posted by cycleback at 5:13 PM PST - 25 comments

Selectric can you hear me?

I'm trying to find a movie I saw on cable decades ago with a character who used a voice-operated typewriter. Can anyone hook me up with a title? [more inside]
posted by duoshao at 4:49 PM PST - 6 comments

Save my crappy cheap beautiful awesome necklace pendant!

One of my absolute favorite necklaces is made of cheap metal, and the silvery finish is wearing away. Is there a way to save this necklace? [more inside]
posted by erst at 3:43 PM PST - 6 comments

Find a Grant for a Year-Long Reporting Project

I have been planning to interview Oregon's gubernatorial, judicial and legislative candidates for 2020. I did something similar in 2014 as a volunteer for a radio station, and talked with 70 candidates from January through November. Next year, I want to apply for a grant to do the same thing, only better. [more inside]
posted by CollectiveMind at 3:08 PM PST - 4 comments

Should I leave the political party I joined?

So I'm really conflicted about this. I joined a new political party because I wanted to help out, build influence and learn but I'm really starting to wonder if there's any point. [more inside]
posted by Braxis at 2:05 PM PST - 13 comments

I'm looking for necklaces.

Can you help me find some new women's necklaces, for myself? I like the idea of buying from small designers (on etsy?) to support them. I'd like them to end below my collarbone and to work well with v-necked t-shirts. They need to actually be nickle-free, not just "I don't think there's any nickle in them," as I am ridiculously sensitive. [more inside]
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:19 PM PST - 12 comments

python library for better traceback on errors in CLI

I recently tried a newish python library that gave you a better traceback when running a script from the CLI. It showed you a full stack trace, the value of variables, etc., in the CLI itself. I forgot the name, have tried googling for it, no luck, so I turn to you.
posted by signal at 1:02 PM PST - 5 comments

Get out of San Fran with Kids and Grandparents

2 adults, 2 kids, and 2 grandparents are celebrating grandparents 50th in San Francisco this weekend. For one of the days we would like to rent a car and get out of the city. I don't mind driving a few hours. I don't mind spending money. Tell me about cool locales / day trips that a 7 and 70 year old could both enjoy together.
posted by jasondigitized at 12:36 PM PST - 18 comments

Looking for good, cheap, durable headphones for a lady on the go!

I am on a quest for good, cheap, durable headphones that will work with Bluetooth on an Android phone and survive being shoved into a backpack and buried under 3-4 textbooks. [more inside]
posted by firemonkey at 11:46 AM PST - 12 comments

Windows, why?

Why is it in that in this the year of our Lord 2019 in Windows I cannot move or rename a file or folder while it is open in an app? I've been able to do this in the Mac OSes for so long I honestly don't remember a time when I couldn't, so clearly this is a task that an OS can routinely be capable of. For Windows not to be able to do this must represent some kind of choice, or some kind of negligence. (E.g., a literal answer like "the system might thereby have conflicting information about where the file/folder is stored" is not what I'm looking for, because this is not 1988 and I know this problem is solvable.) It is so inconvenient not to be able to do this. Perhaps an explanation will help me reconcile myself to it. (Background knowledge level: modest to moderate.)
posted by praemunire at 11:15 AM PST - 15 comments

Background checks in 2019

I need to do a one-time, thorough background check on someone, including finding out the name and address of a separated spouse. How does an individual do that these days? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 10:50 AM PST - 2 comments

Organizing financial and estate documents for adult children

How do you wish your sick or deceased parent had organized, or did organize, financial information for you? [more inside]
posted by Elsie at 10:16 AM PST - 16 comments

Advice on becoming a technical writer

I think I could be a great technical writer, and I'm not starting from zero. Please help if you can. [more inside]
posted by argybarg at 9:57 AM PST - 11 comments

How to get the best from NYC Pride?

My wife and I are attending NYC Pride June 28-30. We have previously attended much smaller Pride celebrations and are a little overwhelmed by the options. [more inside]
posted by donnagirl at 9:52 AM PST - 4 comments

Where do I start in getting a patent?

I'm in New York City and have developed a process for a visual product that I want to know if it can be patented. I've never done this before and have no idea where to start. What to do? [more inside]
posted by Sreiny at 9:45 AM PST - 3 comments

Taking a bullet (journal)

I am in need of a more effective way to keep my life in order. I need to be able to see and adjust the big picture (months) and the needs of the hour easily. My Google calendar is a mess and no matter what I do, there are times that entries go inexplicably missing and then show up again later. My day planner is ridiculously inadequate. What works for you in 2019? [more inside]
posted by nantucket at 9:38 AM PST - 17 comments

Security chain suggestions

I want to get a security chain (or something) for my apartment door because maintenance knocked as they were walking in while I was home sick last week. It made me uncomfortable. As of now there is just a deadbolt. Unfortunately, my door frame is metal (really) and I can't get something like this. What can I get instead to secure the door better while I'm inside? [more inside]
posted by misanthropicsarah at 9:37 AM PST - 14 comments

Where can I go and write for a week in Australia this September?

I'll be in Australia for three weeks in the fall, and due to a change in circumstances I have a lot of unstructured time on my hands. I'd love to go somewhere for a week or so for a one-person writing retreat -- what places in Australia should I be looking at? [more inside]
posted by Narrative Priorities at 9:30 AM PST - 6 comments

Puddle-jumpers, but for big kids?

My almost-7-year-old daughter doesn't swim yet. We're working on it, but in the meantime, I'm trying to figure out how to let her have a tiny bit of water-related independence. A lot of the more minimal floaty thingys are for smaller kids. Help? [more inside]
posted by cheese at 8:59 AM PST - 16 comments

More easy Japanese - with English?

I'm looking for more easy Japanese to read (maybe third or fourth grade level?) with English translations. Online? Books? With audio? Online used book sellers? Kids' magazines? [more inside]
posted by kristi at 8:47 AM PST - 7 comments

Started dating a guy that won't text me for days

I moved into the new city in Europe and met some people - and involved myself into the 'teenage drama'. [more inside]
posted by Salicornia at 8:05 AM PST - 18 comments

What did I witness zooming past me on I79?

On Saturday June 1st I was traveling north on I79 in WV. Somewhere around mile marker 65 this group of 7 or 8 cars passed me all going well over 100 mph. It was a mix of sporty vehicles that you don't expect to see in this area. I remember an Audi R8 leading the pack, followed by a Lamborghini, a Ferrari, a few nondescript hatchbacks, trailed by a Chrysler Crossfire convertible. [more inside]
posted by jmsta at 7:28 AM PST - 7 comments

Which My Little Pony voice actor is the best singer?

My daughter loves My Little Pony and I have now listened to untold hours of My Little Pony music. The songs are very catchy, and I’m greatly impressed by the ability of the voice actors to sing in character, particularly as they seem to cover multiple roles. But I put it to you: which actor voicing the “mane six” has the best technique as a singer (not voice actor per se)? Which performer(s) beyond the mane six have the best technique?
posted by Admiral Haddock at 7:27 AM PST - 2 comments

Tell me about this guitar thing, and where I can find more.

I barely have language for this, but: I have been listening to the Black Crowes (in the midst of a whole big revisit to the music of my teen years), and there's a guitar thing that I love in the song Thick n' Thin that starts with the lyric "left holdin' the bag again." What is that, and where can I find more? I know southern rock in general will give me some of what I want (so bring on the recommendations), but that very specific thing makes my toes curl and I want more. Help?
posted by hought20 at 5:36 AM PST - 10 comments

Finding a TED talk about war, community and feelings of belongingness

I'm trying to find a TED talk that I watched back in 2012 where the speaker was discussing an extremely "connected" feeling that people get when they belong to a close-knit community. He cited some soldier's experiences in war where the sense of camaraderie was so strong that some soldiers described it as a "loss of the sense of self" and a feeling they were "part of a greater entity". I've been trying to google this TED talk without any luck, so if anyone can link me to it, that would be awesome! [more inside]
posted by tomargue at 2:37 AM PST - 3 comments

June 3

Where can I find an iPhone SE case similar to the Casecrown Lux?

Where can I purchase a solid-color Casecrown Lux case for my iPhone SE? Failing that, what is the most similar case that I can purchase? [more inside]
posted by nat at 10:33 PM PST - 5 comments

Help me find a letter from dying father to daughter...

Trying to locate a particular letter that was published i believe post mortem from a dying man to his very young daughter. Particulars, I believe he was near Silicon Valley / SF Peninsula. Daughter would have been very young (2 or less?) Might have happened 5 years ago or more. I can only paraphrase what I vaguely remember, but something along the lines of "at some point in your life you are going to be asked to measure up. PLease know that you met all of my expectations" far from literal but that was the sentiment. [more inside]
posted by jcworth at 9:59 PM PST - 3 comments

Be my career counselor -- I don't want a PhD anymore... now what?

I'm currently a poorly paid RA in a high cost of living location. When I took this job, I had the intention of using it to springboard into a clinical psych PhD program. After looking at a few years of being a poorly paid RA, the many more years of being a broke grad student, doing an internship (again, poorly paid), and seeing the job prospects (academia, private practice, and etc.), I don't think I want to do this anymore. The question is -- what's next? [more inside]
posted by squirtle at 7:01 PM PST - 8 comments

What smart lock to get?

I think I'd like to get a smartlock. The kind that fits over your existing deadbolt thing on the inside and turns it. A) Any experience with these that suggests I should or shouldn't. B) Which one. C) Would love a keypad, but reviews suggest the one that exists is not reliable. Thoughts? [more inside]
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 6:17 PM PST - 9 comments

Coping with knowledge that partner's ex was extremely abusive

I recently discovered that my significant other's ex-girlfriend was not just someone he dated casually in college a few years ago but someone whose behavior escalated to sick mind games and physical violence that culminated in the complete control of his life. Since discovering this, I've been feeling angry, sick and helpless and I don't know where to go from here. [more inside]
posted by salientstars at 5:31 PM PST - 29 comments

Burning Question

What do I do with a bunch of Carolina reapers? [more inside]
posted by East14thTaco at 5:29 PM PST - 11 comments

bars with great food in Cambridge, MA?

You live in Cambridge (MA). You used to frequent River Gods and the B-Side, but now that those are long gone, you've found new hangouts with a similar feel. Help my husband and me discover new bars with great food on our upcoming trip to our old stomping grounds!
posted by Ralston McTodd at 5:09 PM PST - 8 comments

Better video of the "Speaking Piano"

I am looking for a better video of the "speaking piano" used in this clip: Speaking Piano - Now with (somewhat decent) captions!. The 2009 MetaFilter thread on it is HERE. The original video used in the news clip would be great; however the only version I can find is the one linked above, with the German voiceover talking over the piano for most of it. This video, http://vimeo.com/1483630, from the thread, has too much room reverb and completely obscures the speech effect.
posted by smokysunday at 4:52 PM PST - 3 comments

You can’t hulk out in here! This is the war room!

Help solve a question my 11 year-old and I can’t figure out: do Dr. Strange and Dr. Strangelove exist in the same universe? We have a low bar and would be satisfied if (1) there was any evidence of any Marvel comic books/superheroes in the film, even second- or third-order, or (2) any Kubric film had ever been referenced any Marvel comic/film. Thanks!
posted by brozek at 4:50 PM PST - 14 comments

Another gross stomach question

What's going on with my stomach / how can I stay calm? (Warning: poop within!) [more inside]
posted by bookgirl18 at 4:32 PM PST - 10 comments

Desperate for help in stopping the annoying rattle of a timer switch

I don't know if timer switches (as in those used in electrical equipment) are supposed to make noise, but the one next to my room is, and it's driving me CRAZY. Please tell me there is a way to silence this damn thing. [more inside]
posted by adelaide at 4:30 PM PST - 14 comments

Keeping things perpendicular during assembly

I have two pieces I need to glue together. One is a flat disk one-eighth of an inch thick with a hole in the middle. The second is a tube that's 0.1mm smaller than the hole in the disk. I will be gluing these using a compatible adhesive -- but how do I keep the tube as perpendicular as possible during the gluing? Cure time will be on the order of several minutes. [more inside]
posted by aramaic at 2:39 PM PST - 17 comments

Transgender learning event invitation needs

I'm hosting a panel discussion for Pride month on how to be supportive when a coworker, friend, or family members comes out as transgender. Please suggest ways to build attendance through branding. [more inside]
posted by rebent at 2:33 PM PST - 7 comments

EMDR online

EMDRfilter: my therapist has recommended I try EMDR however I do not live in a place that has any providers. My therapy is via Skype. Are there any reliable, reputable online providers? Will it be weird/unhelpful to have one practitioner do EMDR and keep my current therapist? I will ask her in our next session but it’s not for a few weeks and I’d love to hear some personal experiences. [more inside]
posted by sio42 at 2:32 PM PST - 4 comments

My relationship is turning me into someone I don't like

What can I do? [more inside]
posted by Amy93 at 2:10 PM PST - 26 comments

Oh the summertime sadness....

I was raised in California... I've lived in several different climates and I know that most places aren't sunny and warm most of the year... but the weather here in West Coast Ireland is very unique difficult for me to cope with. The wind just brings very mixed weather off the Atlantic all day long and its never really consistently warm... I will be here for the very long foreseeable future. Have you come to terms with something similar? [more inside]
posted by catspajammies at 1:33 PM PST - 22 comments

Road Trip, offline music, Amazon Prime (maybe Unlimited...), help!

Not Pepsi Blue but forgive me all the same: What are your current favorite tunes that I should put onto my device for my upcoming travels with friends in a rental RV as we gallivant all over Yellowstone National Park? Pretty much all genres welcome from hip hop to rap to country to pop to bluegrass to electronic. The hook is that using Amazon Prime offline mode is going to be easiest for me. [more inside]
posted by RolandOfEld at 1:21 PM PST - 5 comments

Apple Music Family Plan — How to (selectively) share playlists?

I was planning to upgrade my individual Apple Music subscription to a family plan to share with my mom who lives in a different state. (we both have iPhones) Don't know anything about how this works. Does it automatically share my playlists with everyone on the family plan? (Hopefully not) Or is there a way I can select just a few playlists to share with her, via the family plan subscription? Thanks.
posted by caveatz at 12:08 PM PST - 2 comments

Book keeping complexity versus Cost

I have my own business, and my book keeper recently raised their prices and it is now a sizeable sum. I'm not sure where the play off between 'its too complicated' and 'for that money, it's just not that complex so I shall do it myself' lies on the cost/benefit scale. [more inside]
posted by Brockles at 12:03 PM PST - 7 comments

Help me upgrade my camera for a wedding this weekend!

Hi. I have been asked to take pictures for my brother's wedding this weekend because their friend who was going to do it can't make it, and I'm "good at taking pictures". I have this camera and lens and this pancake lens - both of which are 5 years old. Should I get a new, similar camera? Should I just get a new lens or two? [more inside]
posted by kendrak at 11:44 AM PST - 18 comments

short book recs

Looking for fiction recs < 250 pages, with preference for female or POC authors, including translated (to English) works. Any genre is fine, as long as you can wholeheartedly recommend it as a good read. Thanks!
posted by snerson at 10:39 AM PST - 29 comments

Voice issues after thyroidectomy

I had a total thyroidectomy on April 30 due to being hyperthyroid with Graves Disease and nodules. The surgery went well, although it took longer than the surgeon anticipated because one of the lobes was much larger than he realized. More than a month out I still have significant voice issues. [more inside]
posted by Bresciabouvier at 10:35 AM PST - 5 comments

Wanted: Short LGBTQ+-related reading for town event. Difficulty: 4 min.

As part of Pride Month, my small town in NC asked a series of local people to read "4-minute-long" excerpts from a book, poem or reading from either an LGBTQ+ author, or about the LGBTQ+ community. (The length includes any intro we provide, as well.) I was asked to read and am looking for ideas. I would like to read something for kids - I'm a mom - or something that might be a little more unusual or out of the box. It should work well as a spoken piece. I have access to a university library as well as my local library and Amazon.
posted by melodykramer at 9:25 AM PST - 7 comments

What is this behaviour called, and how do I put a stop to it?

What is it called when a personal challenges statements that were pretty obviously hyperbole (ie. exaggerated and clearly not meant to be taken seriously)? And what is an appropriate response? [more inside]
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 8:22 AM PST - 96 comments

non-iOS to iOS video chat

My spouse will be in Japan for several weeks while the rest of us stay home in the US mid-west and we'd like find the right way for us to keep in touch. Video chat seems like the right choice for the kids, but I don't know what the best tools are circa June 2019. [more inside]
posted by roue at 6:49 AM PST - 18 comments

You: search committee for uni instructor. Me: potential applicant

A cool uni teaching job has popped up in my job feeds recently. It's worth thinking about. The description is very broad and super brief. The department's discipline is not exactly mine, but I reckon I can teach/adapt to quite a lot (but by no means all) topics, particularly the interdisciplinary courses the department offers outside their core. Is it okay to contact the department directly and ask for clarification, and ideally some sample syllabi? I'll be researching their catalog as well. Thanks! [more inside]
posted by carter at 4:53 AM PST - 4 comments

diverse book recommendations for young children

Book recommendations for ages 3-6 for children of mixed-race heritage? Complication: princessses. [more inside]
posted by unicorn chaser at 3:16 AM PST - 22 comments

How to get over trauma of previous birth?

I need to process the trauma from my last birth and quickly. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 1:35 AM PST - 16 comments

The most awkward birthday card I can find

My dear friends and I have an escalating situation where we send subtly awkward, uncomfortable birthday cards to each other and I am running out of options. What is your idea of a slightly inappropriate card? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 1:34 AM PST - 42 comments

How to retrieve an item left in a rental car in Spain?

I was in Tenerife in the Canary Islands (part of Spain) and accidentally left a small backpack in the rental car when I dropped it off. I am no longer in Spain. The bag contains my leather jacket and I'd really like to get it back. I called the car company and they found the bag, but they do not offer a shipping service and suggested I hire a courier company to come collect the item and ship it for me. I contacted MRW and DHL offices on Tenerife and neither one offers this service. Any suggestions? I am happy to use airtasker or similar but not sure what is available in Tenerife.
posted by emd3737 at 1:24 AM PST - 5 comments

Chump protest sign, UK edition

I work in healthcare and I have a small baby. We'll be marching against Trump tomorrow in London. Can you help me with some suggestions for a sign (or two)? I'd like to especially address the wretched anti-choice, anti-child, and anti-immigrant policies currently being enacted by the US government, but open to other suggestions as well! Thanks in advance!
posted by pocksuppeteer at 1:14 AM PST - 6 comments

Can I eat my French dip sandwich?

I accidentally left an Arby's French dip and Swiss sandwich and jus in a car for four hours. Outdoor temperature was 82 F. No shade to cover the car. Can I eat it?
posted by bryon at 12:23 AM PST - 8 comments

Tell me what albums to like™

I'm looking for a monthly album subscription which isn't personal, which sends me the 'best' new albums. [more inside]
posted by litleozy at 12:07 AM PST - 7 comments

June 2

How to get a food product manufactured

I have an idea for a product that’s not something I could create in my own kitchen. What would be the best way to make this a reality?
posted by KateViolet at 10:00 PM PST - 11 comments

What do you call this type of behavior?

I’m pretty sure it’s a variant of “passive aggressive.” [more inside]
posted by unstrungharp at 9:31 PM PST - 37 comments

Competitive games that require memory work and decoding

Youngest needs to work on decoding and memory work for her dyslexia. She has a very high memorised vocabulary and is competitive so we need something that works on speed so not Scrabble-type apps. I'm getting Zingo, what else would work? I would love physical games, not apps. Games she can play with a parent where luck is dominant or the other player can be handicapped to make the game equitable are better. She has a stack of math-skill games already.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 9:18 PM PST - 9 comments

Hustling movie type of feeling

What type of movie would be the shared category of the following movies: Boiler Room, Wolf of Wall Street, 54. And what are some more? [more inside]
posted by jitterbug perfume at 6:36 PM PST - 20 comments

Need your tips on ambidextrousness (Broken Elbow Edition)

I'd like to train my non-dominant left hand be more dexterous *sigh* and strong over the next few weeks as I deal with a restrained right arm and hand. Basic goals include printing or cursive, clothing fasteners, and general strength and flexibility. If you have any general tips about dealing with a broken elbow in your dominant arm, I'd love to hear that, too. [more inside]
posted by maudlin at 5:45 PM PST - 11 comments

Help me elevate my trip through the Rockies

I will be taking a once in a lifetime journey from Vancouver to Calgary for two weeks mid-end of June. I would love some help filling in some must sees, dos or eats. [more inside]
posted by mephisjo at 5:34 PM PST - 7 comments

Deconstructing the 'project'

Years ago I read an interview online with a woman who was challenging the idea of the 'project'. She asked questions like, "Why does the community sector use a model developed for the engineering and military fields? Why should work that involves relationship-building be limited to one year, two years, five years?" She wasn't criticising certain project management tools or techniques; she was challenging the concept of project management. Help me find the interview, the woman's name, or any other thinking that deconstructs the 'project' or 'project management' in this way? [more inside]
posted by trotzdem_kunst at 5:22 PM PST - 1 comment

To Tree Or Not To Tree

The City of Toronto planted a tulip tree, which is one of the largest species of trees native to the eastern U.S., in the tiny front yard of the house that is attached to mine, and they claim it won't be a problem. I'm hoping some of you have the knowledge to tell me whether it will be or not. [more inside]
posted by orange swan at 4:52 PM PST - 12 comments

Fire Tablet as VIrtual Photobook, Help?

Hi, AskMe. :) I'm trying to set up a sort of virtual photo book/slide show view for my Thai grandma. She struggles with technology at best, so we want the experience to be as simple as possible. [more inside]
posted by Alensin at 4:17 PM PST - 4 comments

Container for in home compost storage

Looking for a ~8 inch tall but big container for my kitchen compost--not a counter top one. Can you link me to something that might work? [more inside]
posted by Ideal Impulse at 3:29 PM PST - 9 comments

Are cordless window blinds okay?

I'm in the market for some new blinds, and I've discovered that non-custom blinds in the US are only available cordless. I'd prefer corded blinds, but as custom blinds seem to cost significantly more than off-the-shelf, I'm considered going with a cordless model. If you have cordless blinds, are they easy to use day-to-day? Have they given you any trouble with regard to long term reliability? Or alternatively, where can I get cheap, decent quality custom blinds? [more inside]
posted by jcreigh at 3:15 PM PST - 18 comments

Any books on Turing that focus on the trial/his identity?

My LGBT-identified kid is trying to research Turing's chemical castration, but having a really difficult time - she's been reading book after book, but most of them focus on other aspects of his life and mention the trial only in passing. Is there a good book - preferably for Kindle - that goes into this in more depth or uses the 2016 court records release?
posted by corb at 2:23 PM PST - 10 comments

Mattress saturated with cigarette smoke...usable? How?

I'm subletting a place and it's great except that the mattress, a standard pillowtop, seems to be saturated with cigarette smoke...any short-term solutions? [more inside]
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 10:32 AM PST - 22 comments

cover letter how-to's

I'm job hunting and have a question about cover letters. [more inside]
posted by thereemix at 9:28 AM PST - 13 comments

I want to track my record collection without using Discogs. How?

I've been dutifully recording every bit and bob of my record collection in Discogs over the past few years, and it's a pretty sweet site. There's just two problems with it, and long-term, I think I may need to find something to augment or replace Discogs. [more inside]
posted by chrominance at 9:07 AM PST - 8 comments

Exporting Info from Ancestry.com

We were given a .GED file that was exported from Ancestry.com. Does the .GED file only contain the people names and family tree structure? If so, is there any way to export all of the additional profile information and documents for each family member from an Ancestry.com family tree in bulk without having to manually print each? [more inside]
posted by The Architect at 8:52 AM PST - 5 comments

I never learned how to relax. How do I start?

I never learned how to relax. How do I start? Middle aged man. Severe anxiety. I never learned to relax. I want to start. How do I do this? Details inside [more inside]
posted by kbbbo at 8:50 AM PST - 20 comments

Faith healing a computer

My laptop just gave me the BSOD. everything I see about the error code I get suggests it's an easy fix, but they all refer to solutions I can't access (I do not have a start disk, and I cannot access any screen BUT the BSOD). Can someone walk me through what my options are, but explain it like I'm nine? [more inside]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:24 AM PST - 33 comments

Man, oh man . . . opause?

Looking for advice on the hard reset button for health, which may or may not be related to menopause. I’ve been plagued by low-level health annoyances for the past several months and am trying to dig my way out of them. Apologies up front for the length, and then of course details after the jump . . . [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 6:18 AM PST - 14 comments

Replacement for crashplan on OSX.

Automated-Cloud-backup-filter: Suggest a Replacement for CrashPlan on OSX please. Must continually and in the background make a cloud-stored bootable copy of my HDD with all my software intact. [more inside]
posted by lalochezia at 5:11 AM PST - 11 comments

June 1

Carfilter?

Are there any car forums that are better than your average internet? Obviously Metafilter is my gold standard. Looking for forums welcoming of people that aren’t cishetwhitedudes and are patient and kind with people who are learning and not Car Nerds. [more inside]
posted by Grandysaur at 11:43 PM PST - 8 comments

Don't lock phone while active

Are there any iPhone apps that prevent the phone from locking while they're open, such as Google Maps when you're in driving mode? I don't mean purpose-built "keep awake" apps (although that would be ideal I don't think there any anymore?) I mean apps that do this by default once they're opened. I know there is a way to do it in Swift. Is anyone using it? [more inside]
posted by bleep at 11:01 PM PST - 11 comments

Why can't the MTA run double-length L trains?

I assume there's a good reason they don't do this, but I don't know it. The upcoming L non-shutdown is going to dramatically reduce total throughput because they can only run a train through the tunnel every ten minutes and they have to alternate directions. Why can't they increase throughput by stringing together longer trains, say, twenty cars instead of ten? [more inside]
posted by meaty shoe puppet at 9:06 PM PST - 9 comments

Baby foot peel with blisters?

Can I do a baby foot peel if I have an unpopped blister? This article says not to if you have open cuts, but I'm not sure if that applies to unpopped blisters as well. Does anybody know or have first-hand experience? This is the foot peel in question.
posted by matildatakesovertheworld at 9:04 PM PST - 3 comments

chocolate ice cream

what's the best chocolate ice cream. [more inside]
posted by Greg Nog at 7:58 PM PST - 57 comments

Should I seek out a writer's group (and if so, how?)

I've been at work (slooowly) on a historical fiction novel for a long while now. Writing fiction has been much harder than I thought it'd be (in my prior professions, I wrote a lot of carefully crafted persuasive writing, and it came easily and fluently, so yeah, I was surprised at how hard fiction has been. Cackle if you want: I deserve it.) Anyway, it feels like I'm in danger of grinding to a halt, and I really don't want to do that. Could joining a writer's group be a good idea for me? [more inside]
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:52 PM PST - 9 comments

The daily trials and tribulations of being sensitive to noise.

I'm looking for blogs written by people dealing with any degree of misophonia or noise sensitivity, professionally diagnosed or not. The type of noise can be varied (noisy neighbors, chewing sounds, etc), but the theme of the blog should include a focus on the daily frustrations and/or successes of dealing with the noise.
posted by invisible ink at 7:14 PM PST - 3 comments

Dungeons & Dexterity

Does a 5e ranger using a longbow add its dexterity mod to the Horde Breaker damage roll? “Once on each of your turns when you make a weapon attack, you can make another attack with the same weapon against a different creature...”
posted by michaelh at 7:03 PM PST - 3 comments

Songs with videos and remixes that remix the video

Example: Humility by The Gorillaz, (original video) remixed by Superorganism. [more inside]
posted by SaltySalticid at 5:32 PM PST - 2 comments

Different wordlists for different Words with Friends players

In the game Words with Friends, my opponent is playing words that the game won't let me play. She just played JA in her most recent move, but when I try to play it, in the very same match, it says, "JA is not a valid word." What's going on? [more inside]
posted by chromium at 5:00 PM PST - 5 comments

knit-filter: how can I extend this pattern?

I have run through the lace pattern on this blanket (easy, fun, pretty pattern!) four times and, frustratingly, ran out of yarn one row from binding off. [more inside]
posted by Smearcase at 4:27 PM PST - 10 comments

I have a window that needs a plant

I won the cube jackpot and now I have a desk next to a window. What kind of plant won’t I kill? [more inside]
posted by Francies at 4:21 PM PST - 13 comments

Best handheld cordless vacuum for pet hair?

I'm in the market for a very specific vacuum and need recommendations. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by Ruki at 3:58 PM PST - 5 comments

Progressive flags

Apart from the LGBTQIA+ flag, are there other progressive movements with their own flags?
posted by pxe2000 at 3:54 PM PST - 14 comments

Griddle Me!

My awesome landlord just replaced my old gas stove with a brand new one with an integrated griddle! Yay! Besides pancakes and grilled cheese, help me brainstorm cool things to make on it. Thanks!
posted by Weeping_angel at 2:17 PM PST - 20 comments

Did I just click on something terrible?

Uh. So, in doing research for a book, I clicked on a link to a blog post on a blog in an EXTREMELY loathsome corner of the internet, which brought me to a page asking me to verify if I was human -- I clicked that. (It was NOT a google captcha.) Then next was a page telling me to download a chrome extension. I did not download the chrome extension that I know of, but the redirect and the initial "are you human?" click have made me nervous. Is there any easy diagnostic thing I can do to see if I just screwed myself somehow? What should I do? Thank you in advance from a luddite
posted by schadenfrau at 11:42 AM PST - 8 comments

Tattoo prep for newbies?

I'm prepping for my first tattoo. I have a question or two, and want to know what I might have forgotten. [more inside]
posted by BlahLaLa at 11:30 AM PST - 24 comments

Tell me the cool way you organize your car

I have a new car (thanks for MeFite help on that!), and I'm trying to organize the stuff I need in a way that's efficient and looks nice. I know there are special car-organizing items online, but I'm not convinced that's the best way. Also, they're all black, so bonus points for cool colors. Tell me what you do to organize stuff. Also, tell me if there's anything less obvious you keep in your car that you're super happy about. [more inside]
posted by FencingGal at 11:05 AM PST - 24 comments

Songs that capture the feelings of motherhood

A friend has a baby undergoing a long-term NICU stay. I want to make her a sweet, loving playlist about motherhood. What songs do you know? [more inside]
posted by linettasky at 10:41 AM PST - 29 comments

Help me find an Android RSS reader and/or podcast player

For years, my go-to apps for keeping up with news feeds and listening to podcasts on my Android phone have been News+ and DoggCatcher, but I've been having issues with both lately that have me looking for alternatives, and my searches of the Play Store haven't turned up any promising candidates. Does anyone have any recommendations that meet my special snowflakey requirements below? [more inside]
posted by tonycpsu at 9:42 AM PST - 9 comments

Confusing current national issue #49985787002231

Why do economic conservatives like Trump? [more inside]
posted by nantucket at 9:13 AM PST - 20 comments

Pokemon card interpretation

What's the best place to go for "official" interpretations of confusing text on Pokemon cards? Most sites, including the official Pokemon card database, just repeat the text on the cards. [more inside]
posted by goatdog at 6:30 AM PST - 4 comments

Common knowledge, where do we get that?

I need recommendations for a friend whose knowledge is deep but not broad. He’d like to be less awkward in conversations, so where can he pick up things most of the rest of us just know? [more inside]
posted by OrangeVelour at 5:15 AM PST - 28 comments

Extreme guilt after inappropriate cuddling

I am in a relationship, but cuddled inappropriately with a friend. I am drowning in guilt and don't know what to do. Please help me gain some perspective on this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 1:17 AM PST - 39 comments