April 2021 Archives

April 30

How to “divorce” an enmeshed parent / smothering mother?

This problem has been affecting me and my siblings for a long time, and now I have a close friend dealing with the same issues. In practical terms, I don’t know what actually needs to be done. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 6:21 PM PST - 28 comments

What is this high-pitched ultrasound??

For the last couple weeks, there's been an intermittent, super-high frequency permeating the two basement bedrooms in my house. What on earth is causing it?? [more inside]
posted by daisystomper at 4:49 PM PST - 18 comments

Clip-on Step Counter that works with Apple Health?

I've been using the built-in step counter in Apple Health on my phone lately. The only thing I don't like is always carrying my phone around. Do you know of a small step counter (doesn't have to do any other fitness tracking stuff) that writes to Apple Health? I don't want a watch - I'd rather have something I can clip to my waistband or stick in my pocket. [more inside]
posted by hilaryjade at 4:37 PM PST - 3 comments

Who were this amps-on-11 NOT-showy NO-horns 90s Balkan band?

I checked an album out from the Ann Arbor District Library in the 90s that has been haunting me ever since. It was a three- or four-piece band: clarinet, electric bass, and if I remember right electric guitar and/or American drum kit. They played very fast, very loud instrumental Balkan tunes, with no Gogol Bordello/wedding-band-type showmanship. No horn section, no accordion, no vocals, no hand drums, no hip-hop or EDM production, no sampling, no toasting or shouting between verses, seriously just a small electric band playing tunes with their amps all the way up. [more inside]
posted by nebulawindphone at 4:10 PM PST - 10 comments

PhD: what's actually important when choosing a program?

I am looking into PhD programs to pursue an academic career. I have a master's in my field (speech-language pathology) and I was hoping for some advice on choosing programs — in general, not necessarily within my field. [more inside]
posted by metacognition at 4:04 PM PST - 9 comments

What to do with vegetable seedlings when I have no garden

I am not a gardener. I have no garden. I just received a gift of ten different young vegetable plants. Help. [more inside]
posted by bananana at 2:48 PM PST - 15 comments

Looking for scanning program

I have Windows 10 on my computer. I used to have an Epson printer/scanner that came with a scanning program that would allow me to preview the results and adjust the brightness and contrast (if necessary) before saving the file. Now I have a Brother laser printer/scanner and I cannot find another program that will allow a preview of the document. Do you know of one?
posted by ydaltak at 2:36 PM PST - 7 comments

Online shopping in Amsterdam

A good friend is going through a health scare (chemo) in Amsterdam right now and I wanted to send a care package to get them through this time. [more inside]
posted by something_witty at 2:34 PM PST - 5 comments

Cellular Picture Frames?

I'm thinking a digital picture frame would be a good thing for my mom - keep her updated with pics of her granddaughter, the usual stuff. I've seen discussions here before, like this one, but have an added degree of difficulty. Mom lives in the middle of nowhere with a horrible DSL connection that's barely better than dialup and no Wi-Fi. Is there a good frame that connects via cellular, sort of the way a Kindle does?
posted by Naberius at 1:55 PM PST - 8 comments

Wild and Wild Song?

I heard a song at the grocery store today with the line of "wild and wild" in it, I think. I could be mishearing the lyrics. I'm willing to bet it's performed by a well-known female artist. Probably fairly popular, current, and mainstream. At this "wild and wild" point in the song it feels like it's building up a little bit. Any ideas what this song is?
posted by Sassyfras at 1:44 PM PST - 5 comments

Taos, Santa Fe, thereabouts with small kids

Vaccinated parents of two small children planning a road trip from Austin in late May/early June. We narrowed the destination to Taos or Santa Fe or nearby because that seems to be the right mix of 1.) manageable driving distance with 2.)a change of scenery. Looking for ideas, tips, and links on recommended home base rentals. This is our first time taking a trip as a family of 4 and we don't know what we don't know. We have two boys: a very active toddler (2.5 years old) an infant (7 months). We are looking for spacious home base, preferably with outdoor space for the toddler to stretch his legs. We would like to be somewhere where we could do outdoor activities, grab food, be comfortable with kids, and avoid large crowds/tourist areas. Please share any guidance on how we can best structure a long car ride with kids, places you stayed that you would recommend, sights you visited that small kids may enjoy, and how to make the trip also feel somewhat like a vacation for the parents.
posted by allthingsconsidered at 1:31 PM PST - 5 comments

First few weeks of care for new bare-root patio roses?

Hello, gardening MeFites! What should I do to care for these new plant pets? I've heard that roses are incredibly fussy, and am worried that I'm either over- or under-watering, primarily because I'm not seeing any evidence of growth after a week, and the canes look dryish. I'd love your advice on getting them off to a good start. [more inside]
posted by rrrrrrrrrt at 1:11 PM PST - 8 comments

Upset/uneasy when people don't reply to text/call/email quickly

Is it normal to feel uneasy or be upset when people don't reply to a text/call/email same day? [more inside]
posted by ljs30 at 12:43 PM PST - 27 comments

Twin hats?

My twin and I want to up our twin game. What kind of matching/complementary hats should we get? [more inside]
posted by jitterbug perfume at 12:25 PM PST - 19 comments

Is there an index or timeline of decolonial iconoclasm?

The Misak have just toppled a statue of colonizer Sebastián de Belalcázar in Cali; this seems to be the sort of thing that's happening ever more frequently. That got me wondering, is there a place that compiles all instances of decolonial statue toppling? Like an index, or timeline. Confederate scum included.
posted by Tom-B at 11:48 AM PST - 5 comments

history/map nerds, I need your help

I need a READABLE, reasonably ACCURATE map of the Ottoman Empire, ideally with the 17th century borders, but can be flexible on that. A bigger deal is to have it be readable like a modern map. Has to include all the regions that were Ottoman in the 17th century. [more inside]
posted by fingersandtoes at 10:24 AM PST - 9 comments

How to replace mailbox key at house

We're located in the US and own the house. The key is unlikely to be found, but the lock does have a three digit code on it. Googling around reveals that there are replacement keys for that series, has anyone had success ordering such a replacement key? Any other suggestions besides call a locksmith?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:54 AM PST - 5 comments

How to find a mural-style or outdoor-art artist in Seattle?

Would like to commission a large (approx 4'x4') outdoor artwork to put on the outside of our house, preferably a painting on (outdoor-safe) board, but open to other options too. (Ideally, would prefer a BIPOC artist and/or someone with deep roots in the Seattle area who is interested in executing their own vision.) Where could I start looking for such an artist?
posted by splitpeasoup at 9:41 AM PST - 5 comments

What kind of car do I need^H^H^H^Hwant?

I'm thinking about getting a second vehicle for longer distance highway driving, because my current vehicle is a Tacoma, and I love it so much, but it's pretty rough and tumble -- I use it to transport my dogs around, and to plow a half mile driveway in the winter. It's not going anywhere, but it's not the best vehicle for long, fast, interstate trips either. [more inside]
posted by so fucking future at 9:21 AM PST - 17 comments

How to best manage our CEO's LinkedIn page?

I'm not new to LinkedIn, but we're being asked to set up and curate the LinkedIn profiles for our top executives. Do you have tips to share? We will have direct access to the account(s). [more inside]
posted by Arch1 at 9:17 AM PST - 5 comments

Indoor Houseplant Planter

Our house has a neato built-in planter in the foyer, but the exposure is north-northwest so there is no direct sunlight. We have complete black thumbs (but I'm learning) and have no knowledge whatsoever of houseplants. What can we plant there that will have some height to fill the space and thrive? Here's an ad from the homebuilder of what it may have looked like in groovy 1960. My partner seriously suggested we plant plastic houseplants. Please help.
posted by hwyengr at 7:50 AM PST - 18 comments

When and how to buy plane tickets to Europe for this summer?

I'm a vaccinated American living in the United States and hope to travel to Europe this summer when the EU officially accepts U.S. tourists. Is it possible to buy a ticket now to travel in July? [more inside]
posted by cardamom at 6:22 AM PST - 13 comments

I know _Excalibur_ was trippy, but did we hallucinate this article?

My husband and I encountered the John Boorman movie _Excalibur_ tonight while down an internet rabbit hole via other, lesser, King Arthur movies. We both distinctly remember reading an article explaining why all the home video releases are really obviously cropped weirdly and poor quality, due to some kind of concrete reason like lost/destroyed masters. Did we somehow imagine this? [more inside]
posted by LadyOscar at 2:10 AM PST - 7 comments

Shame and trauma in academia

Looking for insights and help finding resources for dealing with shame-related trauma from experiences as an adult that don't fit into categories like childhood or sexual abuse, wartime PTSD, etc. Bonus complexity: academic-related. Apologies for text wall. [more inside]
posted by starcrust at 2:01 AM PST - 14 comments

How concerned should I be about my cholesterol levels?

I recently had a medical exam, and one of the things noted in the results was that my cholesterol levels were high. Specifically, my LDL levels are borderline high, at 3.94 mmo/L (152 mg/dL). I get that I should try to reduce my levels, but in the scheme of things, should I be very worried, or is this not that uncommon? [more inside]
posted by destrius at 1:39 AM PST - 12 comments

April 29

Strawberry Woodruff Preserves/Tea?

Is there a place in Philadelphia or online where I can buy strawberry woodruff (waldmeister) preserves or syrup or tea? Or any variation thereof? I have searched pretty extensively but I am not having any luck. Thank you. [more inside]
posted by eleanna at 8:26 PM PST - 4 comments

I have lost a website for hanging out

What is this non-meetup.com meetup site? [more inside]
posted by Orlop at 8:06 PM PST - 8 comments

TV show opinions wanted

Is there any point in watching Supernatual? [more inside]
posted by sardonyx at 7:39 PM PST - 14 comments

Please explain finance stuff to me

My kiddo is young, and I've got a savings account started for him. Kiddo is also in private school. I have been reading about all the different options for savings plans for the future, and 529 plans keep coming up, but I am apparently literally unable to comprehend what the benefit of a 529 is. Help? [more inside]
posted by erst at 7:15 PM PST - 14 comments

Chicago for a cerebral, single, middle-aged black woman?

I've always wanted to live in Chicago. Two concerns: violence and taxes. How much should I be concerned about those? And if not Chicago, where? [more inside]
posted by simonelikenina at 5:37 PM PST - 18 comments

What historical models did contemporaries compare the Nazis/Fascists to?

Nazis, and fascists more generally, are a familiar historical/cultural trope that we often use to think about current events. What historical models did people at the time use to make sense of them? [more inside]
posted by zeri at 4:07 PM PST - 15 comments

Tool for making webcam view not terrible!

I have to do an important webcam thing. It will not be via zoom or MS Teams. It will be via a web-interface that I do not control. But I'm testing my webcam as just-regular webcam, not with zoom or MS Teams and it looks AWFUL. Like the lighting looks ghastly, the colour is all wrong, and nobody needs to see my skin with this much detail and definition. But i feel like I've seen tools that let you do things like alter camera settings (think white balance and contrast and such, not adding mouse ears) and will feed that to the webcam output. Please point me to one. [more inside]
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 3:40 PM PST - 12 comments

Horror movies or stories set in hospitals and/or morgues

As part of research for a project, I'm looking for horror movies or stories (or videogames or other media, actually) set in hospitals and/or morgues. Preferably on the more creepy/psychological/atmospheric/subtle side, not so much gore and jump scares, but I'll take anything, it's better to be thorough. [more inside]
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 2:52 PM PST - 25 comments

Can this cord be repaired?

Due to an unfortunate incident with an extension cord, the plug on my toaster oven has been destroyed. The cord is not detachable from the oven so I can't just order another one. Can this be fixed? What kind of place would fix it - small appliance repair? An electrician? What would be the ballpark cost?
posted by insectosaurus at 2:44 PM PST - 9 comments

Academic library diversity resources

My friend has transitioned from a YA librarian to working for a 2-year college. She is now doing collection development in the area of diversity. This would include LGBTQ+, BLM, people with disabilities (otherly-abled), race in general and any other diversity issues you can think of. [more inside]
posted by manageyourexpectations at 1:40 PM PST - 6 comments

Advice for Florida Keys in June 2021

I'd like spend a few weeks this June in the Florida Keys. Looking for suggestions, advice and current on-the-ground information! Parameters and details under the fold. [more inside]
posted by kanuck at 12:53 PM PST - 3 comments

Do you understand how student financial aid works?

Please help me come to an understanding about how US college financial aid works, with respect to when to use 529 money. OMG it's so confusing -- I have googled and for the life of me I don't understand! [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 12:46 PM PST - 10 comments

How to best deal with politicization in decentralized charity group.

How do you cut through the (inevitable) political issues of community based charity and get back to work without alienating volunteers. [more inside]
posted by es_de_bah at 12:32 PM PST - 10 comments

What is a simple app/website that will give me a list of gym exercises?

I'm looking for a workout app or website that will easily and concisely provide me with gym workouts for three or four days a week. Ideally, it would give me arm workouts for twice a week and leg workouts for twice a week. What should I use? [more inside]
posted by andoatnp at 12:12 PM PST - 7 comments

Tell me about your severe and/or extended COVID vaccine reactions.

I got my second Pfizer vaccine on Saturday 4/24, and now on Thursday, I'm still suffering side effects and haven't worked a full day all week. Doctors assure me that this unusual but still within the realm of normal, but it would help me to hear from others who had a similar experience. [more inside]
posted by leftover_scrabble_rack at 11:38 AM PST - 37 comments

Alternatives to ink extortion?

I have a Brother inkjet printer (LC101). It is a nightmare. HELP ME ESCAPE THIS NIGHTMARE, possibly with a home monochrome automatic-duplex laser printer recommendation? [more inside]
posted by cnidaria at 11:27 AM PST - 37 comments

Did Saxon/PIE fail to differentiate between worms and snakes?

Is it generally understood that Anglo-Saxon/Proto-Indo-European cultures failed to differentiate as we do between worms, snakes, and dragons as we do in the modern era? Or was this an artifact of later failures of translation? [more inside]
posted by Phyltre at 11:07 AM PST - 6 comments

Cowhide how too

I just impulse bought an ikea cowhide rug. I have two dogs, don’t vacuum as much as I should, and am accident prone. How do I not ruin it?
posted by Grandysaur at 10:51 AM PST - 5 comments

US Civil War: former slave-holder joined the Union Army? True or trope?

I'm doing some research into an oral history story that says: person X was a slave-owner/enslaver who, at the outbreak of the Civil War, was so outraged by secession that he freed his slaves and joined the Union Army. Are there confirmed real stories of this happening? Or were there fictional/popular stories like this, that might've been the source of a trope that got incorporated into this family myth?
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:36 AM PST - 10 comments

Problem with new glasses

I've been trying to buy new glasses and I've been having trouble that I've never had before. My prescription has barely changed but new lenses are giving me headaches. [more inside]
posted by no regrets, coyote at 9:30 AM PST - 16 comments

What left-of-centre parties have won elections in recent years and how?

Internationally, what left-of-centre parties have won large scale elections in recent years, and how did they do it? What kind of policies, candidates and campaign strategies did they adopt?
posted by TheophileEscargot at 5:37 AM PST - 19 comments

Help me help my mom sell her business so she can retire

My mom (mid seventies) has run her own clothing boutique for the past couple of decades. She's in a town / geographical area that's growing like wildfire, and her store is in a great, highly-trafficked (leased) location. She has a good relationship with the building owner, who's also semi retired and owns a bunch of buildings and businesses in town. [more inside]
posted by syzygy at 5:21 AM PST - 12 comments

What should I sell?

There's a specialist ecommerce course I want to take, and looking at the prep work the teacher suggests creating a "sandbox" ecom website to test and play with while learning. What should my dinky hobbyhorse website sell? [more inside]
posted by Gin and Broadband at 4:15 AM PST - 9 comments

Oud, Darbuka, doumbek: I must. Have. More.

Based on an experience of seeing belly dancers*, I was working on a fiction piece, so I had to look up the music and really listen and found I loved it. Pretty sure it's not called 'belly dancing music' (although if you want to find what I'm talking about, that is the search term that works) and also that I won't be able to find it on Pandora. [more inside]
posted by A Terrible Llama at 3:59 AM PST - 14 comments

I think I (32F) might have Complex PTSD - what do I do now?

Ever since I was 17, I've struggled with depression, low self esteem and social anxiety. These were all quite debilitating, in that I was performing well academically until this age and then everything just fell off a cliff. I had a weird and abusive upbringing which I will detail a little below to give you context. I was on meds for almost a decade which helped me function but came off them a year ago. My head is a lot clearer and I feel more motivated, I also am experiencing the return of obsessive rumination and a feeling of grief at time lost. I've recently realised I might have something called Complex PTSD and was wondering if anyone could provide me with ideas around how to deal with it effectively? [more inside]
posted by Sunflower88 at 2:52 AM PST - 15 comments

How to have a facebook account

I opened a facebook account solely for the purpose of joining a local kayak club. I was insta-banned for breech of community standards. A new account with my other email address had the same effect. How can I have a facebook account? [more inside]
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 2:37 AM PST - 10 comments

April 28

Custom calligrapher that isn't cutesy?

I have an assertive and in-your-face quote that's meaningful to me that I'd like to have hand-lettered to frame and display. Every custom calligrapher on Etsy seems to only offer bridesmaid font, which is too bouncy and cheerful. Any recommendations for calligraphers who can do something edgier?
posted by helen_of_tron at 8:35 PM PST - 13 comments

complete newbie to brokerage account - tax question

A generous relative is helping me (someone with zero experience/knowledge of investment) set up a brokerage account (not a retirement account, which I know is different) and is going to start off by depositing some money for me to do what I wish with. I'll be seeking detailed investment advice elsewhere, but for the purposes of this post, I have tax questions. [more inside]
posted by CancerSucks at 8:05 PM PST - 11 comments

Meal planning / recipes for a family with sooo many sets of limitations

I've recently learned that I'm gluten- and lactose-intolerant, and I'm trying to eat more healthily (as aligned as possible with Harvard's Healthy Eating Plate)—so whole grains only, a ton of veggies, not protein-centered, and less processed is better. We are a tricky family to plan for: my husband is vegan and often can't eat acidic foods (he's canker-prone), my toddler and I eat lean animal proteins (like chicken, turkey, and eggs), I'm trying to get my toddler to eat more veggies, I don't tolerate beans or peanuts well, and my toddler is allergic to flax. Do you (a) know any recipes that work with this ridiculous list of limitations or (b) have tips for meal planning for a group with such varying needs? [more inside]
posted by saltypup at 6:45 PM PST - 20 comments

I ate it. Now what?

I ate a lot of chicken about 15 minutes ago that seemed fine, but underneath what I devoured I see it's still pink and wet looking. Is there anything I can do to not get food poisoning? [more inside]
posted by Grim Fridge at 6:17 PM PST - 16 comments

When did you know it was time to leave you hometown?

I'm seriously considering leaving my hometown. The main reason why I'm hesitant is that I wonder if my issues surrounding living here could be solved by therapy. My city has a lot to offer in all honesty, but I still feel like I need to leave. [more inside]
posted by sheepishchiffon at 5:02 PM PST - 36 comments

Flowy fashion

Lately all I want is to drape myself in neutral-colored flattering, fashionable but also flow-y clothing. [more inside]
posted by namemeansgazelle at 4:38 PM PST - 12 comments

In search of good but linear science fiction recommendations

What are some good recent-ish (last 20 years) SF novels that are mostly told from a single perspective and don't hop back and forth in time? [more inside]
posted by pipeski at 4:32 PM PST - 12 comments

Managing a hybrid team (WFH and on-site)

The team I manage has been working from home exclusively for over a year during the pandemic. My workplace will soon allow employees the ability to work on-site in a limited capacity. Long term, most of my team hopes to work a hybrid schedule (some days WFH, some days work on-site). How can I be the best manager of a hybrid team? [more inside]
posted by christa at 4:03 PM PST - 7 comments

What should I visit in and around State College, PA?

I'm planning a weekend road trip to State College, PA in a few weeks. (Hooray for vaccines!) What should I check out while I'm in the area? [more inside]
posted by escape from the potato planet at 3:53 PM PST - 8 comments

Seller screwed up eBay shipping price, and I want to help

Seller underestimated the international shipping price of an item I just won. I knew the shipping was a bit low when I bid, but I didn't expect my low-ball bid to win. I know I don't have to make this right, but I want to: does eBay have a legit way of fixing this? [more inside]
posted by scruss at 3:37 PM PST - 9 comments

Making the most of a brief West Texas camping trip

Ambitious West Texas itinerary planned: Austin to Fort Davis and back in 4 days / 3 nights. I'll have a basic camper van conversion. I already have my state campground spots reserved: pretty sure I'll be happy with those. But what should I make sure to stop and see along the way? [more inside]
posted by Sheydem-tants at 3:21 PM PST - 7 comments

Essay about "The Missing," indie games, and jank

A few years ago, I read an essay that made a thoughtful and persuasive case for an ethical obligation to accept mechanical flaws in indie games, due to popular acceptance of narrative flaws in big-budget games. There was a focus on the mechanically janky indie game "The Missing: JJ Macfield." I can't find it now, and I want to share it before trying to get non-indie-gamers to play Kitty Horrorshow's brilliant (but kind of janky) "Anatomy."
posted by longtime_lurker at 2:58 PM PST - 2 comments

Recommend sources for photos of queer haircuts on real middle-aged folx

Hello, I am looking for a new queer/NB haircut that is compatible with my autistic needs (NO buzz or side shaves). My stylist has suggested that I look at real people's haircuts on TikTok and Instagram, and would love to see folks over 40/50/60. Any accounts or blogs you would suggest? [more inside]
posted by matildaben at 2:09 PM PST - 4 comments

Choosing a Ductless Mini Split Based on Sound

How do we choose a mini split and make sure it doesn't make any stupid noises that will keep us awake? [more inside]
posted by jmsta at 11:55 AM PST - 12 comments

Facebook account hacked

My wife's facebook account was hacked, they have changed the password and the recovery email. Going through the automated process leads to a dead end when they try to send a new password to that changed recovery email address. The profile has been deleted so I can't report it hacked from my account. What are our next steps? [more inside]
posted by twirlypen at 11:54 AM PST - 4 comments

Mirroring / replicating (which is the right word?!) two firebird db

At the centre I volunteer at we have three tills for ringing up sales. A sale made on one till, will, within half an hour appear on the other two tills. The data goes up to the cloud and down again. However, the company that provides this cloud service is going to cease supporting our installation because they're withdrawing from our region due to Covid. [more inside]
posted by dance at 11:16 AM PST - 4 comments

How to react to potential small legacy from estranged parent

I was estranged from a parent who died in 2019. I heard nothing about the will since so I concluded that my two very much favoured siblings had inherited everything. However, I received a letter from a lawyer today saying that I am entitled by law to a small inheritance. I don't know what to do about it and feel ridiculously upset. [more inside]
posted by ElasticParrot at 10:58 AM PST - 39 comments

Seeking Instagram recommendations for life in rural Korea or Japan

I'm looking for Instagram* accounts that feature glimpses of life in either rural South Korea or Japan. Relevant hashtags would be helpful as well. *Instagram is preferred but Twitter would be ok as well, but really looking for visuals.
posted by Rora at 10:21 AM PST - 6 comments

Planning a virtual baby shower

A close co-worker (Stacey) is pregnant and I'm co-planning a virtual baby shower for her. The event is about a month away. This is not my thing, so would love your tips/suggestions on the virtual part. [more inside]
posted by widdershins at 10:13 AM PST - 12 comments

Optimize our new dishwasher!

We just got a nice new dishwasher and I'm not sure of the best way to use it. [more inside]
posted by pdb at 10:02 AM PST - 14 comments

How important is ISO 17100 certification for translation companies?

I'm reviewing competitive bids from translation companies for a research study, and trying to figure out whether it matters that one has ISO 17100 certification and the other doesn't. [more inside]
posted by quiet coyote at 9:20 AM PST - 3 comments

Is Responding Worth It?

I started a non profit that changes burnt out lights in cars. My first event was this past Saturday. Lots and lots of positive comments. And, already, negative comments are trickling in. But I wonder what these people in the second group are really saying. [more inside]
posted by CollectiveMind at 9:01 AM PST - 27 comments

Instascam?

I get moderately frequent comments on my instagram posts (mostly from fashion brands/sites I've never heard of) asking for me to collaborate. Some of these have a decent follower count (100k+), so they aren't throwaway accounts. But I only have somewhat under 500 followers, so it feels like these are likely some sort of scams. Does anyone have first-hand experience with/knowledge of these they're willing to share? (My instagram is linked on my profile if that helps)
posted by Tabitha Someday at 8:28 AM PST - 9 comments

Uses for rancid coconut oil

What can I do with 5 liters of rancid, deodorised coconut oil? [more inside]
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 6:05 AM PST - 9 comments

Moving from San Francisco to Minnesota?

Possibly relocating from the cradle of tech urban craziness to the semi-urban Midwest. Feeling a lot of inexplicable angst. Looking for advice! [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 5:22 AM PST - 31 comments

Have you ever gotten back with an ex? How did it go?

A few months ago, my partner of almost two years broke up with me. While it wasn't completely out of the blue since she had gone a bit cold and distant in the leading weeks, it wasn't like we had any relationship issues that had been brought up. I suspected her seasonal depression played a role in things cooling off, but when I asked about it during the break up she said she wasn't sure. Now she texts me out of the blue asking if I wanted to get lunch or dinner to catch up. I'm suspecting she's wanting to get back together and I'm not sure how I want to proceed. I quickly told her I needed to think about it and that was a few days ago. I've never gone back to a relationship that ended before and I'm not sure I can ever get over that she broke up with me without giving me a good reason. I know my circumstances are my own and no one can peer into my or her mind, but I'm looking for some advice or stories of people getting back together to give me some guidance. Thanks
posted by anonymous at 5:22 AM PST - 29 comments

Killing time near the Chicago Midway airport

Due to a series of unfortunate events I will be driving 4 hours to pick up relatives arriving at the Chicago Midway airport soon. In case my own car travels are delayed by traffic or weather I’m leaving quite early. If everything goes smoothly I may need to find something to do for 2+ hours. [more inside]
posted by Wavelet at 4:47 AM PST - 8 comments

April 27

Who does Elisha Applebaum remind me of?

I’ve been watching Fate: The Winx Saga, and the character played by Elisha Applebaum reminds me so strongly of some other actress but I can’t think of who it is. [more inside]
posted by Night_owl at 10:49 PM PST - 12 comments

Do you have an inner monologue/voice?

I recently started playing Disco Elysium and one of the things that sticks out to me is the main characters intense (and multiple!) inner voices that influence his words and actions. For most of my life I would say I had 1-2 inner monologues that would debate thoughts and actions for minutes at a time before I would go with one and decide what to do or say. Since I've started my mental health journey in the past 5-6 years and begun medication, I've noticed that I pretty much lost those voices and just act or talk close to instinctually. Do most people have these inner monologues or was it a symptom of mental illness?
posted by gzimmer at 8:03 PM PST - 36 comments

Another "Explain This Scam" Question

Someone called our doctor pretending to be my parter and claiming to want to make a payment. What were they hoping to get? [more inside]
posted by Orlop at 7:56 PM PST - 15 comments

Another laryngitis question

YANMD. Every couple of years I get a bad sinus thing that causes laryngitis. I'd love to figure out how to prevent this from happening. My job requires me to use my voice. What's the fastest way out of this? [more inside]
posted by crunchy potato at 6:59 PM PST - 13 comments

How to answer job interview Qs for academics

I seem to recall there being a site about how to answer job interview questions for people coming out of academia. I find that many of these "give an example of a time" are really hard to come up with examples for former academics. And I seem to recall somebody coming to the rescue with suggestions. Can you either A) POint me to some resources or B) Give suggestions/examples, particularly for questions about leadership, teamwork, conflict, judgment, and taking initiative and problem-solving. [more inside]
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 6:53 PM PST - 6 comments

Bandaging/Dressing a Small Incision Near My Lower Neck?

How do I bandage a small incision near where my neck meets my torso, above my left collarbone, to accommodate for neck movement? I acknowledge you aren't my doctor. [more inside]
posted by metabaroque at 6:39 PM PST - 9 comments

Chinese Antiques Filter, Grant me some Knowledge

Hi AskMe, I've had previous success with obscure questions, and admired the amount of knowledge the hive mind has on all kinds of subjects. My mom would like to learn more about these antiques. Dad made a habit of collecting Chinese art, but we don't really know much about the historical context, how valuable it might be, and so forth. [more inside]
posted by Alensin at 5:45 PM PST - 3 comments

Big monitors with multiple computers

Can anyone recommend a good KVM solution? I'd like to use a couple of big high-res monitors, keyboard and mouse with either my personal MacBook or my work MacBook.
posted by aeighty at 3:50 PM PST - 11 comments

Watching live baseball on TV without cable

What are my options these days for watching live baseball on TV without cable (which I recently got rid of)? Thank you!
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 3:50 PM PST - 14 comments

DIYFilter: what's the best way to make a ceramic mosaic on wood?

I want to stick pieces of ceramic to a wooden frame. What's the best way to do it? [more inside]
posted by greenish at 3:09 PM PST - 12 comments

Day wear - Crone Island edition

I'm the forest crone your father warned you about. Where do I buy my clothes, shoes and jewelry? Feminine-ish to neutral presentation, 5'3" and 140lbs. Inspo pics very much appreciated.
posted by ChodenKal at 2:57 PM PST - 12 comments

Is there a video platform that allows for asynchronous commenting?

Has anyone ever seen a video platform that allows for asynchronous commenting/reactions that are similar to the time-stamped comments/reactions on a Facebook Live video? I.e., can I post a video, send it to a group, they ask questions/post comments whenever they're watching, and then come back back in later and answer all the questions? And then the questions and answers are all visible, time-stamped, in the feed? Bonus points if the first showing of the video CAN be a live feed.
posted by sirion at 2:10 PM PST - 8 comments

Make my brain un-mute this person

I work closely with a person who talks at high speed and interrupts a lot without communicating much new or useful information; they have a tendency to derail meetings and not notice that they're the only one who has been speaking for several minutes. There's a shared expectation (that they are fully on board with) that everyone else has to help manage this person's tendencies and prevent them from derailing meetings. I have minor social anxiety and have a hard time processing spoken information, so doing this on a daily basis is exhausting for me. After a few years of working with this person, my brain has started coping with this by tuning them out when they speak. This is not good. How do I start hearing them again? What tricks can I use to make myself listen?
posted by sockomatic at 1:45 PM PST - 11 comments

Help me figure out the right down payment on a condo

My wife and I have just signed a purchase contract on a condo in a smaller European city with a dynamic, growing economy and rising home prices. We have about two months to decide on the shape of our mortgage and size of our down payment, and, as a first-time home-buyer, I would appreciate some advice. [more inside]
posted by Strumpf Marionette at 11:47 AM PST - 30 comments

Parents are leery of the C19 vaccine. Help.

My parents are wary of getting vaccinated for various reasons. I'm looking for how to present it as a reasonable decision. [more inside]
posted by Definitely Not A Robot at 10:25 AM PST - 39 comments

settle, baby, settle!

You, a compulsive overthinker and career-angst-haver, decided to "settle" in a job you rebelled against at times over the first couple of years. What was this like for you in the long run? [more inside]
posted by Sock Meets Body at 9:22 AM PST - 18 comments

🎶 Comeback Songs 🎸

I’m looking for songs to listen to when you’re down but not out. Any genre!
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 9:04 AM PST - 58 comments

under-desk exercise thingies: anecdata

Have you tried any of the under-desk exercise thingies, like the bike wheels? Are they useful? Are there other types? [more inside]
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:39 AM PST - 7 comments

Let's play Name That Dog!

It's time for another round of AskMe's favorite gameshow! I just rescued a chihuahua mutt who hails from the back roads of Mississippi, and now it's time to Name! That! Dog! Step inside for pictures and the current names in the running. [more inside]
posted by nosila at 8:06 AM PST - 39 comments

Fabric stores in NYC.

I'm going to hit the fabric stores in NYC later this week. Yippee! Yahoo!! I have a few specific questions inside. [more inside]
posted by Melismata at 8:06 AM PST - 11 comments

Babyfoot in a Bottle

I want babyfoot in a bottle but I'm not finding it. Where is it? [more inside]
posted by falsedmitri at 7:40 AM PST - 8 comments

Getting a break from my ADHD brain

I have ADHD and my brain is buzzing with thoughts and ideas and feelings all.the.time. Even when I try to relax my mind is picking out little details in the ceiling, or thinking about what the melody in the music reminds me of, or trying to solve the world's problems, etc. etc. [more inside]
posted by mekily at 7:37 AM PST - 22 comments

Japanese (I think...) watercolor paintings

Can you help add context to my framed paintings? [more inside]
posted by slagerst at 6:18 AM PST - 2 comments

Alternatives to Cheap, Attractive Office Chair

Been looking at getting this Ikea Chair for the past month but it has been out of stock at my local IKEA. What other chairs fit the characteristics: A) Price (up to $250), B) aesthetics (doesn't look too-officy) C) Ergonomics (High back, adjustable height and tilt) D) Fabric
posted by sandmanwv at 6:18 AM PST - 7 comments

Feeling ragged holding two jobs, want options for my retail job.

I'm currently holding down two jobs (for reference: the priority job is full-time; and the 2nd part-time retail), so am working 7 days a week. I'm running ragged, and my mental heath is suffering somewhat. I don't want to outright quit my retail job. I want help navigating options. [more inside]
posted by thoughtful_analyst at 6:00 AM PST - 21 comments

Putting the ‘Tourism’ in ‘Bangkok Medical Tourism’

My girlfriend is having a major surgery in Bangkok in December. We’re looking for interesting and fun things to do both before and during her recovery! [more inside]
posted by Summers at 5:41 AM PST - 6 comments

What microphone(s) do I want?

What is the best affordable omnidirectional microphone for recording? And is that even what I want? [more inside]
posted by srednivashtar at 12:47 AM PST - 9 comments

How to proceed again?

We would be grateful for some more advice regarding this incident https://ask.metafilter.com/353621/Common-assault [more inside]
posted by charlen at 12:28 AM PST - 24 comments

April 26

I'm looking to find volunteering websites from Francophone countries.

I'm located in the California time zone and am trying to find remote volunteers who speak both French and English. [more inside]
posted by likethenight at 10:43 PM PST - 2 comments

Giant Outdoor Origami Paper (or equivalent)

I want some very large waterproof material that will hold creases, and can be folded/unfolded lots of times without breaking. Bonus points for not plastic or other petrochemicals. [more inside]
posted by sibilatorix at 9:48 PM PST - 9 comments

Un-gross my floors

My textured laminate flooring never quite feels clean. What am I doing wrong? [more inside]
posted by Fish, fish, are you doing your duty? at 5:41 PM PST - 11 comments

Just diagnosed with mild sleep apnea. Questions about life with a CPAP

After having felt overtired for several years with no good explanation, I finally did an at-home sleep study and turns out I have moderate sleep apnea. The doctor explained the treatment options, with cpap being the recommendation and the most successful treatment for the problem. Right after talking to the doctor I was scheduled for a consultation for a 30 day cpap trial. My next questions are for anyone who has gone through this process. [more inside]
posted by rbf1138 at 5:24 PM PST - 22 comments

Can I watch this movie online?

I’m trying to watch When the Bough Breaks and can’t fine it streaming. There are several movies with this name, this one is a 1986 TV movie based on a Jonathan Kellerman novel. I think it’s probably not online but if anyone can fine it, it’s you guys. [more inside]
posted by dianeF at 5:14 PM PST - 4 comments

I hate my job, how do I grin & bear it?

I might sound like a brat for saying this in the midst of a pandemic, but I hate my job (school library technician). I'll probably be working in it until I can find a new one and who knows when that will be? How do I grin & bear it? [more inside]
posted by VirginiaPlain at 4:53 PM PST - 14 comments

Name that aesthetic: 80s-90s edgy pastel collage-y something

Inspired by this post about the Aesthetics Wiki on Metafilter, I am wondering if anyone can identify a term for a certain design style (one that may only exist in my mind.) I associate it with late-eighties and nineties book design and illustration that features manipulated photos, often black and white with colorized elements, especially in pastels, often making use of collage. It may contain romantic or whimsical elements but there's often an off-kilter or counterculture edge to the overall design. [more inside]
posted by prewar lemonade at 4:36 PM PST - 5 comments

How much hassle is involved in a change of name?

Partner has been using ex's last name... wants to make it a middle and take mine for the last name. How much administrative follow up will be involved? [more inside]
posted by elf27 at 3:29 PM PST - 8 comments

What is in this wine(ry), Paso Robles edition?

I'm planning our small group's first wine tasting day in the Central Coast in the near future, but am novice with wine in general. I'd like to know (1) what things I should be cognizant of when looking for wineries, and (2) best practices for planning a wine trip. Initial research has overwhelmed me, and I don't know what things I should consider. [more inside]
posted by galleta monster at 3:28 PM PST - 6 comments

Delicious coconut treats by mail

Is there a small business in your area you love, that makes amazing coconut treats, and can ship to Washington State? Please recommend and describe! [more inside]
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 2:57 PM PST - 3 comments

Was I being rude?

Please help me to better understand an interaction/argument I had with my mom. [more inside]
posted by darchildre at 2:43 PM PST - 35 comments

Buying a home from a friend

Have you ever purchased (or sold) a house directly from a friend or someone you know? What was the experience like? Did it chance your relationship with the person? Would you do it again, or would you do anything differently? [more inside]
posted by verity kindle at 2:40 PM PST - 5 comments

Relationship sex & intimacy workbook/resource suggestions

Partner & I have been together a decade and our relationship has lost some of its thrill and 'spark,' particularly around sex but also when it comes to expressing affection and intimacy more broadly. Suggest resources for us! We're especially interested in workbooks (and other things that offer a semi-facilitated approach), but suggestions of podcasts and other low-stakes tools are welcome too. Resources intended in part or whole to titillate are great, and so are ones meant as entirely therapeutic. Bonus points if you've used it before and can vouch for it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 2:17 PM PST - 7 comments

An album tells a story that I want to hear from beginning to end

Is there a good tool that will convert an album into an audiobook, with each song marked as a chapter? I want to listen to albums from beginning to end, possibly skipping or repeating songs. But if I get interrupted, I want to resume just where I stopped. And I never want to shuffle. Does this thing exist? [more inside]
posted by Winnie the Proust at 1:51 PM PST - 10 comments

Gallery of NYC vaccination stickers

It seems like many of the city and state-run vaccination sites in New York City have their own custom stickers. Is there an online gallery somewhere where I can see all the sticker varieties? [more inside]
posted by Fuego at 1:09 PM PST - 3 comments

Non-religious funeral readings

Asking for a friend, who is having to sadly plan a relative's funeral. She's after some nice poems or readings to choose from, that befit someone who didn't practise a religion. They may be especially fitting if there's some reference to travel, which was one of the relative's main interests. Thanks for any suggestions!
posted by FifteenShocks at 12:52 PM PST - 15 comments

How to avoid "wasting" the COVID-19 crisis?

SARS, MERS, COVID-19... The next viral outbreak is inevitable. What should nations be doing to prepare? What should individuals be doing to encourage these preparations? [more inside]
posted by commander_fancypants at 12:52 PM PST - 9 comments

Record Stores Within 12 Hours of Los Angeles That Buy Used CDs

Hello! Can you tell me of record stores within a 12 hour drive of Los Angeles that definitely purchase used CDs from people in 2021, either for store credit or cash? (I also know all I need to know about stores in Fresno, Oakland, Berkeley, and San Francisco, so no need for those.) [more inside]
posted by kensington314 at 12:22 PM PST - 15 comments

Help Me Plan a Remembrance

Short version: My mother passed away last summer in the midst of the Pandemic. I am finally able to plan a small, close-family remembrance for her this summer during the last week of July at her favorite place - Cannon Beach, Oregon. I have never planned anything like this, and I (who lives in Central Florida) have not been to Cannon Beach since 1993. I have SO MANY QUESTIONS. [more inside]
posted by Lokheed at 12:07 PM PST - 4 comments

Help finding a community for trans and nonbinary women

I’m looking for a comfortable community and/or support group that welcomes trans folks who are beginning their transition. Online communities are great (and really the only option just now), but communities local to the SF Bay Area that do meet in person would also be nice for post-pandemic times. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:35 AM PST - 3 comments

Carob Internet: bulk email edition

Looking for one ethical emailing list provider. Just one, but it must meet these basic requirements. [more inside]
posted by aniola at 11:15 AM PST - 6 comments

Ape social communication

Do non-human apes have ways of expressing to each other where they want to be groomed?
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 10:46 AM PST - 1 comment

Is this sexual behavior respectful and okay?

On a hike in a semi-populous area, we stop for a rest. He gently pushes me back behind a tree and puts his hands down the back of my pants. On another hike (this time with no one around) we stop to admire the view and he sticks his hands up my shirt. I gave him a birthday card and he said, "I'd like to have you in your birthday suit for my gift." This kind of stuff goes on all the time. It just feels like sex is always on his mind, and not in a romantic way. It feels like he's always pawing and grabbing at me. In other relationships, we did the sex thing and then after that we spent time together without sex always being in the air - without the groping and the sex-related remarks. Is his behavior normal and acceptable or not? Do some couples enjoy this? Are he and I just not a good match?
posted by anonymous at 10:42 AM PST - 29 comments

Restaurants with outdoor seating in Charleston WV for tonight

We’re coming through Charleston, WV, and even OpenTable is not being helpful. Two adults and a picky 9yo so the cuisine we want is probably “kids’ menu. We need to eat outside. Covered would be great but isn’t necessary. Casual and non-chain preferred — brewery type food would be fine.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 10:37 AM PST - 3 comments

All things Maine: how to relocate?

I am moving to Maine to start a job in the fall. I am looking for tricks, tips, and advice. [more inside]
posted by turtlefu at 10:07 AM PST - 8 comments

Recommendations and experiences with LifeLock

Missus Tchozz's father recently passed away and she is handling the estate and helping her mother. Her father had a LifeLock account for himself as he managed more or less all of the finances. Should we get a LifeLock account for his surviving spouse now? If so, do we cancel his and start a new one, or does it transfer?
posted by Tchozz at 9:32 AM PST - 2 comments

Where do you find bold cheap jewelry?

The trend for most retail costume jewelry seems to be delicate stuff - I prefer large chains and pendants, big earrings, silver or gold or funky colors. What specific sites or artists (etsy comes to mind) feature this type of jewelry...for prices under $30 per piece?
posted by tiny frying pan at 9:21 AM PST - 10 comments

Ghosts that haunt and daunt us -- a question about Goethe's Faust

I'm looking for insight into a particular passage in Goethe's Faust. Specifically, I'd like to understand the context of a line about the nature of signed documents and a reference to "wax and leather" in the scene where the notorious bargain is made. Hope me, scholars of MetaFilter! [more inside]
posted by nosila at 8:55 AM PST - 16 comments

Troubleshoot my integrated webcam

I have a Dell laptop and was using my webcam without issues through Friday night. This morning it stopped working with (at least two) conferencing apps, but appears to still be functioning when accessed by websites. [more inside]
posted by meinvt at 8:43 AM PST - 3 comments

Outlook for mac- randomly switching between classic and web app version

I use Outlook on my Mac (downloaded as part of a Microsoft 365 subscription). Recently it changed from the classic version to the new flat, bright web-app version - I think it happened when I downloaded the Teams app (which I hadn't used before). [more inside]
posted by cilantro at 7:34 AM PST - 5 comments

Good stylus that works with procreate pocket on an iPhone?

Because years of making awesome protest signs seems to be paying off, quite literally, but I can’t seem to do it with my finger, I need a stylus! And my husbands galaxy note stylus or my stylus-end cheapo pen don't work. What do I need? It’s an iPhone XS if that helps
posted by The Last Sockpuppet at 7:17 AM PST - 9 comments

April 25

This is the first five minutes of which British crime/drama series?

I watched the first couple of scenes, don't know the name, and can't find it for the life of me. It involved a young man helping a woman with some small issue on the tube in London, and then they both get off and end up in the same cafe, and he gets killed. Or something approximately like that. And then it switches to a closed court hearing about what happened in the cafe, and it seems like it was somehow linked to espionage/something classified. And then I stopped watching... Please halp?
posted by reshet at 10:41 PM PST - 5 comments

Help me find powder coated colorful metal shelves I saw on Instagram

I used to get ads for specific shelving on Instagram a few months ago. I took a screenshot at one point, but I can't find it. But now I've got a spot in my place one would fit perfectly in. Shelving characteristics: powder coat, millennial colors (dusty pink, red, sky blue, I think a green variant, etc.), maybe a foot deep, 3 or 4 feet long, 30-ish inches tall, rounded edges, thin metal shelves connected by rounded metal pipe pieces, all powder coated. They were often shown with display items or shoes. Anyone remember this brand?
posted by limeonaire at 7:50 PM PST - 3 comments

People who've had interfaith marriages:

How have they worked out for you, your partner/children, and the families involved? What have been some of your greatest challenges, rewards or regrets? And what advice would you have to give someone who might be considering going down a similar route?
posted by hadjiboy at 7:48 PM PST - 19 comments

Find this stuffed animal pig

My daughter really wants a stuffed animal pig that looks like this. It's a very pink cartoon pig, fuzzy and pretty weird looking. [more inside]
posted by ChrisHartley at 5:57 PM PST - 12 comments

Future you says thanks question

Post-birthday, I’ve been asking this from friends and would love hivemind contributions: what would ten-years-in-the-future-you really appreciate today-you to start doing? I’ve gotten date more, spend much more time with my kids, take photographs every day, stretch for flexibility. I would like more ideas to inspire a new list.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 5:25 PM PST - 27 comments

soft soups

Please share recipes for soups that are vegetarian, soft, fairly mild in flavor, and have no onions or garlic. [more inside]
posted by latkes at 5:15 PM PST - 9 comments

Play by Email… How?

Hi AskMe, this is a bit of a niche question, but I'd love any thoughts on hosting for old-school play by email games. They are meant to run on Linux or Windows servers, and communicate by sending email back and forth, with perhaps an occasional administrator running commands on the server itself. [more inside]
posted by Alensin at 5:15 PM PST - 2 comments

Should I shoot my shot?

And if so, how exactly? [more inside]
posted by Amy93 at 3:52 PM PST - 22 comments

Real or fake, tarot deck from Teh Finder (S01E10 - The Conversation)

I'm trying to determine if a tarot deck from an episode of the TV series The Finder (S01E10 - The Conversation) is real, and if real, where I could find it. [more inside]
posted by Jim T at 3:47 PM PST - 5 comments

What is the end goal for COVID restrictions?

I am a person who follows my local COVID restrictions in my USA community. I wear a mask in any enclosed space with other people, and I wear a mask outside when anyone is nearby me (even >6 ft). I do not go out to eat in person, and have not ventured outside my state in over a year. I received my first vaccine dose the moment I was eligible. I believe in science, and I have had a family member die as a result of COVID. I'm starting to get very concerned that the USA has no end goal in mind for COVID, and I feel like I will not be able to keep up my concern about COVID much longer after vaccination is universally available. Should I? If so, please help me out. [more inside]
posted by sockmypuppet at 3:30 PM PST - 33 comments

Tips for prepping and painting previously painted wooden chairs

I want to paint oak chairs that have several layers of somewhat chipped paint. What would you suggest for filling chips and dings? Also, what's the best paint type for a kitchen chair? I used acrylic latex interior semi-gloss enamel on one, but it hasn't held up well. I need a paint with better coverage and more rub-resistant. Thanks.
posted by sevenstars at 2:44 PM PST - 3 comments

Shed Life, or Have You Built a Home Office Shed or ADU?

After they sent everyone home for the pandemic, my employer got wise to the cost savings inherent in having a work-from-home workforce, and I expect to be more or less permanently remote. Additionally, my partner just accepted a remote position, and a lot of the potential roles in our fields are remote. However, our home is does not have room for two (2) home offices. We're looking at setting up a shed or 2 as home offices. Has anyone done this? Advice (other than patience, as everyone is trying to do this now) on this? [more inside]
posted by jeoc at 2:20 PM PST - 17 comments

Help me find more sweaters like this

I just bought this sweater. I love this sweater. I would like to own more sweaters like this sweater. Where can I find them? [more inside]
posted by yeahyeahrealcute at 2:19 PM PST - 3 comments

Best portable bluetooth speaker for my specific needs?

I bought a small speaker that was described in reviews as having fantastic sound quality and great bass. I don't know why I fell for that, it sounds tinny and has no bass. I guess I thought it would be bigger than it turned out to be. I'm returning that one and thought I should ask for help before I make another purchase. What's the best bluetooth speaker under $200 that actually sounds good? [more inside]
posted by keep it under cover at 1:06 PM PST - 27 comments

How to connect an old MacBook Air to a Dell monitor?

I have an older MacBook Air (2012) whose guts still work well (new insides in 2018) but whose keyboard has somewhat crapped out. I’d like to connect it to a hand-me-down Dell monitor, and I already have an external extra Mac keyboard and mouse. Now my question is….how???? Like what wire specifically goes from a Thunderbolt port to an old Dell monitor?
posted by Charity Garfein at 12:01 PM PST - 17 comments

Do you have autism? Have you learned other kinds of empathy?

I've recently (like, in the last week-ish) realized I'm probably pretty firmly on the autism spectrum. This has come up because of problems in my relationship, and I've found some things that really, keenly describe those problems: my partner needs a certain kind of empathy from me, and I don't know if I ever feel it. If you're an autistic person in a relationship with someone allistic, have you been able to learn this? How long did it take? What was involved? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 9:47 AM PST - 12 comments

What's the Name of this Therapeutic Model, and What Alternatives Exist?

Asking for a name of a mental health philosophy/method from any Mefite therapists, LCSWs, psychiatrists or psychologists – and what alternatives exist to it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 9:47 AM PST - 9 comments

Watch Oscars online

I'd like to watch the Oscars tonight. I live in Chile, and they show it here with annoying real-time interpretation and stupid comments. [more inside]
posted by signal at 9:42 AM PST - 5 comments

Managing Music Library post-iTunes

iTunes recently cost me years’ worth of carefully ripped music when I upgraded my last iPhone. I’ve got backup copies of those songs in Carbonite as mp3s, but I have no idea how or where to store them. Could anyone please point me in the right direction? I’m looking for an accessible library that can handle that format and that also won’t be plagued by Apple’s nonsense. I’m a Gen Xer who is mildly computer literate. [more inside]
posted by jfwlucy at 8:53 AM PST - 12 comments

What kind of therapy do I need to stop beating myself up

I berate myself for dumb things I did years and years ago. I'll remember doing the dumb or wrong thing and immediately have this reaction and (sometimes verbally) berate myself. This has been going on my whole life. I've been to a lot of therapy but apparently not the right type to stop this from happening. What kind of therapy do I need? [more inside]
posted by socks_for_all at 8:34 AM PST - 16 comments

How can I unblock my new facebook account?

So, I deleted my facebook account a long time ago (3-4 years). However, I needed to create a new one due to some business I need to do and so people can reach me. I'm making a big move to another country, and I want to have something through which people can reach me. I don't intend to use the account for much else, I'm generally not a fan of social media and I don't have much interest in looking at what people do there. [more inside]
posted by Tarsonis10 at 8:14 AM PST - 6 comments

How do you improve relationships after drinking?

I've been an off again on again drinker. Details inside but my parents moved in with me. I have not been drinking, they don't want me to leave my house. My friends are casual drinkers and as we're all adults not drinking in front of them is not an issue. Last night I went out for the first time in a long time. I did not drink but came home late, apparently I was supposed to call them if I went out late though this was not discussed. How do I rectify this without being a shut-in? [more inside]
posted by geoff. at 7:46 AM PST - 38 comments

Look for a site showing step-by-step HTML + CSS styling interactively.

There was somebody's blog or personal site from 3~5 years ago that showed a basic un-styled HTML page, then as you click next step, the author shows you what CSS has been added to the existing page in order to slowly style the page with to make it look nicer with fonts, page margins, line heights, et cetera. I believe there were around 7 steps/pages in total. I forgot to bookmark this page and trying to find it now, anyone?
posted by querty at 6:46 AM PST - 6 comments

What's going on with these identical websites?

Inspired by previous askmes I was looking for some nice heavyweight new t-shirts, but along my travels realised that some of these websites are basically identical. Whats going on? [more inside]
posted by stillnocturnal at 6:40 AM PST - 5 comments

Therapy via Telehealth. How?

Do you do therapy/counseling via telehealth? How do you make it work for you? [more inside]
posted by Thorzdad at 6:21 AM PST - 10 comments

What is the origin of the word "bunny" to describe a rabbit?

Like it says on the box.
posted by John Borrowman at 5:58 AM PST - 8 comments

Advice For A New Private School Board of Trustees Co-Chair?

I've been approached to co-chair our local cooperative preschool's board of trustees, but have never served on a board before. Any advice for a newbie? [more inside]
posted by redondo77 at 5:38 AM PST - 7 comments

Women’s Basic High-Quality Shirts for larger sizes

I am searching for good quality women’s t-shirts shirts ranging from XL to 1X. Up to $20 per shirt. [more inside]
posted by Aranquis at 5:15 AM PST - 10 comments

Can I put my fridge on a timer?

My 5 year old fridge must be defective - it gets far too cold and no amount of adjustment fixes it. I've fully defrosted it and tried other things. Sure I need to get it repaired or replaced I know. ANYWAY - in the meantime: I have an electronic timer plug thing that I can program a schedule on. Would it terrible if I used that to cut the power to the whole fridge for a couple of hours in the middle of the night and the middle of the day (when I'm at work)? [more inside]
posted by Xhris at 4:22 AM PST - 13 comments

Would this be a dealbreaker for you?

Last night, after an evening out drinking, I used my boyfriend's phone to look something up as mine had run out (with his permission). I saw some things that really spooked me, we had a massive row about it and I ended things quite dramatically. I'm now trying to work out whether I acted too rashly, or whether in fact this was a reasonable reaction (if somewhat dramatised by alcohol). Please tell me what you'd do. [more inside]
posted by flimflamflop at 3:36 AM PST - 29 comments

Feeling like the only sane person in the room

My in-laws are making what seems to me to be unwise financial decisions and we're too entangled with them personally to cut loose and let them make their own mistakes. How can we not be made crazy and/or broke by this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 12:09 AM PST - 17 comments

Why would a cardiologist withhold test results?

My mom had a heart attack 4 weeks after a hip replacement surgery (which went very well - she's a very active and otherwise healthy 70 yr old, her PT was moving along at an impressive pace), she received 3 stents. Discharge was scheduled after 3 days, they ran some tests and extended her stay a day. On day 6 she still doesn't have any new info, not even the results of the tests they ran. I'm sure it's just precaution and thoroughness, given all the circumstances, but why might a doctor in the CICU withhold information from the patient and/or spouse?
posted by anonymous at 12:09 AM PST - 9 comments

Will putting in a gas dryer trigger a new property tax assessment?

We want to put a gas clothes dryer hookup in our small building. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 12:09 AM PST - 2 comments

Stimulus check deposit question

Hypothetical question about a stimulus check printed as: John Doe c/o Jane Smith Street Address City, State, Zip. To be clear, this is printed on the check itself, not just the address on the envelope. Can Jane legally cash/deposit the check? [more inside]
posted by storminator7 at 12:06 AM PST - 3 comments

April 24

online book club

I am looking for a guided online book club or community to join - some details inside. Have you found one that you've liked? [more inside]
posted by dragonfruit at 11:29 PM PST - 2 comments

Sardines -- which country to buy from?

At the store, I have noticed so many different brands of sardines, and they all come from different places -- Canada, Morocco, Portugal, for example. Is there a particular region I should be looking for in terms of quality, lowest amount of mercury, etc.?
posted by thelasttango at 9:43 PM PST - 5 comments

I wish I was taller

Can someone explain this New Yorker cartoon? I know what the words mean. I know that New Yorker cartoons are often funny-ironic rather than funny-haha. I know that despite all his rage he is still just a rat in a maze. Beyond that, it’s beyond me.
posted by Mchelly at 8:02 PM PST - 14 comments

Help us name our new crawlbot, please.

We just purchased a remote control vehicle that will record video inside of crawl spaces and other tight spots as part of our home inspection business. We'd like to give it a cool name, but "we" are stuck on "Scooter." Can you help us come up with something better? bot tax
posted by mismatchedsock at 7:07 PM PST - 57 comments

Why can my RPi4 drive my TV right, but my GT 1030 on Windows can't?

So my current PC setup has two computers attached via HDMI to a very old TV - a Toshiba 32AV555D. Windows insists on running this at an "active display resolution" of 1920x1080, despite the 1366x768 panel resolution. [more inside]
posted by Dysk at 6:26 PM PST - 43 comments

Where to stay in Chicago?

Where to stay in Chicago? [more inside]
posted by cozenedindigo at 3:06 PM PST - 18 comments

Parent response to childhood sickness

Is there a term for this? Suppose an adult reacts to child in various ways when child is well, both positive and negative. Encouraging, yelling, scolding, patience, teaching, etc. Mixed back. But when child is sick the adult becomes completely positive. This is the only time the child feels completely safe. Looking for terminology, research or anecdata on how this affects the child in adulthood and whether it creates problems for them.
posted by bunderful at 2:12 PM PST - 12 comments

IFTTT your life

What's a cool workflow you know of that makes life easier? [more inside]
posted by pleasebekind at 12:17 PM PST - 19 comments

What's the name of this book? Very vague chemistry edition

I read a popular science book sometime between 1998 and 2005 that was an intellectual history of chemistry. I am trying to find it again but don't remember the title. Do you have any idea what book I am remembering? [more inside]
posted by congen at 11:42 AM PST - 6 comments

Cycling make me less flexible, help me keep reasonably bendy?

I am starting cycling again (well, e-bike) after several months of not doing so. Last time I was cycling I found that my flexibility seriously diminished as my strength and endurance went up, and I'm not flexible to start with. I feel like this must happen to other people, but googling for cycling stretches seems to just find stuff for super-fit cyclists looking to improve their cycling. Are there specific exercises/yoga routines/whatever to counteract my reduction in flexibility? [more inside]
posted by Vortisaur at 11:39 AM PST - 10 comments

Great Smoky Mountain NP recommendations

It's been about a decade since anybody asked here, so.... We will be there the week of May 9 (Sat--Sat). Camping 4 nights in Townsend and 3 nights near Gatlinburg. [more inside]
posted by COD at 11:31 AM PST - 3 comments

Where to stay in Cincinnati?

My family (me, wife, 16-year-old son) will be spending a weekend as tourists in Cincinnati in August. What part of town should we stay in? [more inside]
posted by ShooBoo at 11:04 AM PST - 7 comments

Google Pixel 3 recorded a conversation?

My wife's phone (a Google Pixel 3) recorded a conversation without her doing anything intentional. [more inside]
posted by mkb at 10:59 AM PST - 2 comments

What is this cast object made of and what adhesive will fix it?

I have this cast object that broke. See four pics at this link. It looks like concrete, is rough with texture like sands, and has lots of little sparkles in it. I'm trying to figure out what it's made of so that I can get the right adhesive to fix it.
posted by xo at 10:50 AM PST - 3 comments

Honoring a bi partner in a straight relationship?

I (M) am entering into an LTR with a woman I’ve known for a long time who came out as bi late in life and recently, and is struggling with reconciling things. Other than giving her her own time and space, what can I do each day to help with that and make sure she doesn’t feel erased? [more inside]
posted by ftm at 10:19 AM PST - 11 comments

Help me rationalize my fears of the Astrazeneca vaccine

I'm scheduled to get my first Astrazeneca shot here in BC, Canada on monday. I'm as pro-vaccine as anyone else here on Metafilter, but all the talk about the blot clot risk is freaking me out. Thanks media. Are there other things I do on a day to day basis that are just as likely to kill me that I'm not worried about? [more inside]
posted by cgg at 9:04 AM PST - 27 comments

Best way to add "chicken skin" to vegan drumsticks

I'm fond of these vegan drumsticks made by May Wah (a company that specializes in faux meats). I use them to make Buffalo wings. I air-fry the drumsticks (without any extra coating) and then toss them with Buffalo sauce after they're cooked. How can I add a crispy "skin" to them? [more inside]
posted by alex1965 at 8:11 AM PST - 14 comments

How do I alter the taste of food service sausage patties?

I bought an entire case of food service pre-cooked frozen pork sausage patties with the hope of making quick breakfast sandwiches in the morning. Unfortunately the patties taste a bit off when I make them with an egg patty, english muffin and cheese. I can only describe it as a little gamey. Not bad, just not great. Is there anything I can add (spices, sauce, etc.) that would mitigate the pork taste or have I upset the fast food gods by flying too close to the sun? I have about 50 left, so I'm hoping to salvage them.
posted by blackjack514 at 6:57 AM PST - 21 comments

My dog hates rain!

Is there a device I can stick in my yard that will notify me when it's stopped raining? [more inside]
posted by grumblebee at 5:56 AM PST - 7 comments

Please help me fix this cabinet door!

I bought a spice cabinet off ebay which I love, but the tiny door hook just broke. Can you help suggest a hack that might help keep the door closed? Images inside. [more inside]
posted by backwards compatible at 5:31 AM PST - 10 comments

Repairing Animal Crossing New Horizon?

My son recently started playing Animal Crossing New Horizon. From the Start, the date / time was wrong it showed 1 January 2020, and a time about 12 hours so that day and night did not match real conditions. At first he did not mind and played and reached a lot of Miles and Stars. He knows that changing the date will ruin the game. [more inside]
posted by 15L06 at 1:59 AM PST - 4 comments

Be notified of new music/films/books from specific creators?

I'm tired of learning about new music/film/book releases from my favorite authors, directors, artists, etc. months or years after they happen. I want one or more services that will let me follow a person or series and notify me when new media by that person or from that series is released. I also don't want to sift through a bunch of noise; I want to hear almost nothing from these services except for release notifications. [more inside]
posted by commander_fancypants at 1:04 AM PST - 8 comments

April 23

Star Trek: Abismo Espacial 9

I want to practice my Spanish by watching Star Trek: Deep Space 9. Please help me find it. With captions. [more inside]
posted by aniola at 8:46 PM PST - 8 comments

What are your line-drying hacks for laundry?

I need to improve my repertoire of line-drying techniques for pants, shirts, t-shirts, underwear, socks, towels, tea-towels, bathmats, sheets, pillowcases, duvet covers, etc, etc.. What works for you? Explain like I've never line-dried before please. [more inside]
posted by salad at 6:56 PM PST - 26 comments

Label makers that can print QR codes in black on clear tape

I'm looking for a label maker that can print a QR code (ideally plus text) in black on clear tape. I have found label makers that can print text in black on clear tape, and other label makers that can print QR codes on white tape or labels. But never QR on clear tape. [more inside]
posted by primethyme at 6:50 PM PST - 11 comments

Why does some gas make you feel sick to your stomach?

AskMe, it's come to this on a Friday night in late-stage pandemic parenting. My family and I are wondering why some gas (read: flatulence, farts) makes you feel sick to your stomach. Sick like nauseous, queasy, like you ate something bad. [more inside]
posted by cocoagirl at 3:24 PM PST - 9 comments

"And what about ____?!" A 90s kids comic that always ended with this?

I just had the vaguest sense memory of a comic of some kind that was regularly released in the 90s. It was kind of weird humor, and ended every time with a panel that utilized the classic soap opera trope of, "Will David find the perfect sandwich? Can Michelle tell the twins apart? And what about ____?" ____ being the name of a character we never met at any point in the comic. Google is turning up nothing. Does anyone remember this?
posted by ictow at 2:49 PM PST - 8 comments

Abuse history

Question about working with a possible history of sexual abuse. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 2:24 PM PST - 2 comments

I took a mystery pill and it was awesome

I already feel foolish for being so trusting with this "friend", but I'd still like to figure out what they gave me, if possible. It's a stimulant, it's in a blister pack, and there are no letters/numbers on the pill itself. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 2:09 PM PST - 19 comments

Moar books please

Can you recommend more speculative fiction based on the examples below? [more inside]
posted by Omnomnom at 2:02 PM PST - 11 comments

I'm looking for a men's T-shirt with a sleeve length a little longer.

I'm looking for more upper arm coverage. My husband is 70 and likes his clothes comfy and also fitting. I would appreciate any recommendations we can check online.
posted by Tziv at 1:48 PM PST - 5 comments

COVID Vax'd and Blood Iron Dropped?

I got my first shot of the Pfizer vaccine on March 25 and my second shot on April 15. I've tried donating blood twice since my last shot and my iron is too low despite supplementation. Could it be the vaccine and my immune response? [more inside]
posted by tafetta, darling! at 12:56 PM PST - 4 comments

Alternative to tatami mat for a Japanese style futon?

Hi all. I'm moving into a new place with vinyl flooring, and I'm looking into getting a Japanese-style futon to sleep on. Basically, a shikibuton. I've used them in the past on carpeting, and I liked them. It'll also be a small apartment, so I want to be able to fold up the futon during the day for more room. Is there something else that I can use to put under it that's not a tatami mat? Since I'm small and I live alone, I'm looking at twin-sized shikibuton. [more inside]
posted by spinifex23 at 12:01 PM PST - 13 comments

New England get-away weekend this June

Where can we go in New England this June for a wedding anniversary get-away weekend? Prefer outdoor activities like hiking. Not Boston or New York City, nor RI. [more inside]
posted by wenestvedt at 11:44 AM PST - 12 comments

Live now

What are the most "pandemic" experiences worth having? [more inside]
posted by rubatan at 10:58 AM PST - 46 comments

Which of these schools makes the most sense?

A Chinese friend of mine was accepted to Masters programs (humanities, area studies) across the US, including Stanford, Duke, UNC, UMass Amhest (with funding), UCLA, UIUC, and University of Indiana. His eventual goal is to be a professor. He's leaning toward UIUC, because the faculty there have shown a lot of interest in him—and Duke and Stanford are very expensive. Any advice for him?
posted by matkline at 10:22 AM PST - 16 comments

Cheesy Movie creates horrible childhood memories

When I was a yoof (somewhere around 1988, give or take a few years) I was staying at my Gramma's house for the summer. One afternoon while flipping through TV, and had my first ever exposure to a 'sex scene' in video - a scene which ended in a bizarre Rube-Goldbergian accidental electrocution death for both participants. What in the heck was this movie/show? (specific details inside) [more inside]
posted by FatherDagon at 10:10 AM PST - 5 comments

Is there a bird that sounds like "Pew. Pew pew. Pew."

There was a flock of little birds in the tree outside my window that were saying "Pew. Pew pew. Pew pew. Pew" to each other as they were hopping around the branches. It was hard to get a look at them but they were very small and I think brown, grey, and maybe with yellow or green. Their vocalizations were as if they were speaking to each other but only had one word, which was Pew (as in the sound a laser gun makes), as opposed to singing a song or yelling. [more inside]
posted by bleep at 9:09 AM PST - 22 comments

Is covid "just like the flu"...if you're vaccinated?

A family member (in their 60's) said the other day "I'm vaccinated, so if I do catch covid it'll be more like the flu, and less like a potential serious illness with hospitalization risks." Struggling to figure out whether this is an accurate statement? [more inside]
posted by windbox at 7:15 AM PST - 36 comments

Old time radio shows on USB stick problem.

Hi everyone; I bought a boombox,that has a USB port. I have transferred a bunch of them from a mp3 to the USB,thats all good. The problem is,how do I force the USB to play the shows,one after another? Any suggestions? Thanks :-)
posted by LOOKING at 7:00 AM PST - 13 comments

Help fixing a lamp

I have this swingarm lamp made by Koncept. The hinges don't hold their position well, and unless everything is positioned perfectly, the head will sink (as seen here). Attempting to tighten the screws at the hinges has no effect. I have not tried disassembly yet, but that's next. Does anyone here have the same lamp, and have you figured out how to fix this?
posted by adamrice at 6:51 AM PST - 8 comments

How to tell LinkedIn that I don't want to work in a particular city

At one point I was looking for a job in city A. I'm now looking for a job in city B and city C instead. When I go to the recommended jobs section it keeps showing me jobs in all of those cities. How do I tell LinkedIn to stop showing me jobs in city A? I'm sure there is probably a simple solution but I can't seem to find it.
posted by iamsuper at 5:56 AM PST - 3 comments

Moving to another wireless plan?

Covid has significantly changed my wireless habits. I have an expensive unlimited everything Verizon phone but multiple workplaces since Covid has expected Teams/Zoom calls with video and don't like when you're at a coffee shop. I'm simply not texting or using my hotspot like I used to. What's the best metered or non-metered plan that would allow me (iPhone) to keep my number, move from my high cost Verizon plan and have those options available to me at a cost if I need them? [more inside]
posted by geoff. at 2:44 AM PST - 16 comments

April 22

Best things from your remodel or renovation

I am about to embark on the journey of a bathroom, kitchen, laundry, and bedroom remodel. Tell me what worked and did not work when you did yours. [more inside]
posted by jadepearl at 10:27 PM PST - 47 comments

I want to buy a car that is 300 miles from me, sight unseen.

So my trusty Old Car is showing some signs that her time is up. I'd like to get a replacement sooner rather than later. A new car is not in the cards for me, I don't think. Since I'm looking for a manual transmission, acceptable used cars are hard to find. I know the make and model of car that I want, and I found a good-looking used car 300 miles away. Help me not make a bad decision. [more inside]
posted by Vatnesine at 6:37 PM PST - 16 comments

Why isn't my FSA Carryover happening?

My company offers a Healthcare FSA benefit, which I always use to almost the max. In 2020 I had some funds left over and chose to carry those in to 2021. Now my HSA administrator is saying that the "IRS Runout Period" has been extended to the end of the year and my funds won't carry over until then. Huh? This makes no sense. [more inside]
posted by JoeZydeco at 5:51 PM PST - 4 comments

Everyone I know is so stressed! How to support them without losing it?

It seems like everyone I know is dealing with extremely hard and stressful things right now. I am also dealing with some hard and stressful things (like the rest of the planet), but am probably in a better place than they are. However, the stress of my friends and loved ones is stressing me out! How can I be supportive and also somehow get my own oxygen mask on?
posted by ferret branca at 3:37 PM PST - 8 comments

Resources on the gig economy

I've been googling, but I am having a hard time finding comprehensive resources, or even a really good long article, on gig economy work. Have you read anything like this that you could recommend to me? [more inside]
posted by hought20 at 3:34 PM PST - 6 comments

Help me with a symbol or token for "No negativity spirals!"

I would like to display a symbol or token that will remind me to stop overthinking and allowing anxious thoughts and catastrophic thinking to spiral out of control. But, I would like it to be a positive symbol. Any ideas? [more inside]
posted by SuperSquirrel at 3:20 PM PST - 32 comments

Who are all these rich people?

I live in an area (Brownstone Brooklyn) where many people own homes that cost $3 or $5 million dollars. I know nobody that lives in these houses, outside of some people who've lived there for many years and didn't pay 7 figures for these houses. What do these people do to afford these houses? Other than "works in Finance". How can I learn more about the people who live in these houses? (census stats, etc) [more inside]
posted by sandmanwv at 3:04 PM PST - 27 comments

Adult fiction dealing with social justice?

I’m looking for novels for adults that deal with any form of activism, protesting, social justice, etc. as part of the plot. Please note that I’m NOT asking for nonfiction—I’ve got that part covered. Any ideas?
posted by bookmammal at 2:00 PM PST - 31 comments

Keep me warmish!

I need a mid-weight hoodie. Do you have a favorite one? [more inside]
posted by pdb at 1:53 PM PST - 7 comments

Pfizer first vaccine dose & migraine?

I am 42 and got the first Pfizer vaccine dose on 4/12. I was fine for 4 days, then on 4/17 I got a migraine during the night. The next day the migraine recurred with vomiting, chills, and a fever. I then felt better, but two days this week I have gotten a migraine when I have gone to work. I usually have about one migraine a month around my period, but this is the wrong time for that. My migraines usually don't recur for multiple days in a row- the only time this has happened before is with severe food poisoning. I have been taking ibuprofen and Tylenol, as well as my regular allergy med and Lexapro, and a dose of Nyquil at night. I'm getting scared that I don't know how much longer this is going to last, and I'm worried about my second vaccine. (I will be getting the 2nd vaccine unless my doctor says not to.) I guess I'm worried that the vaccine has really messed up my migraine equilibrium somehow. Has this happened to you? Did it get better? Or have you seen this in others? Is there anything I can do to prevent this from happening with the 2nd dose? I'm aware that I'm having a lot of feelings about the pandemic, resuming normal life, and grieving my cat's unexpected death. I also feel very guilty about missing work - the library I work at has just reopened to the public and things are stressful. Thank you for any suggestions.
posted by lizard music at 12:41 PM PST - 20 comments

Jobs that promote real relationships

My job is like most in that my coworkers feel like friends, but realistically, after I leave I probably would never hear from them again. If I have to spend all day at a job, maybe it could be a job where the day is spent building real and lasting community. Have you had a job where the relationships lasted after you left? Can you think of jobs where this might be more likely to happen?
posted by HotToddy at 12:31 PM PST - 40 comments

Harp music, please.

I am looking for some good-quality instrumental harp music to listen to while working or relaxing. [more inside]
posted by oflinkey at 12:04 PM PST - 15 comments

What is the best color scheme for this logo?

Which variant of the logo looks better? [more inside]
posted by antonykidless at 10:46 AM PST - 28 comments

admission to Dalhousie University

Is it possible to get into Dal, with a low 80s average in grade 12? Specifically this individual is hoping to major in History. Dal is not know to be easy to get into (Macleans cites the average entering grade as 88%), but as with other universities, I'm assuming sciences/engineering programs skew the entrance averages up. [more inside]
posted by walkinginsunshine at 9:55 AM PST - 6 comments

There's gotta be a way to automate this

Will need to send out personalized certificates for trainings on a regular basis from outlook. Have access to Salesforce, Constant Contact and all the typical office software. Would like to automate this as much as possible. [more inside]
posted by geegollygosh at 9:15 AM PST - 2 comments

Science textbook/encyclopedias for kids?

I was talking to a kiddo in my life about tree pollen, and she said she wanted another "science story". Through more conversation, and me wracking my brain for random science facts I felt I could explain well enough, I realized she wanted to just.. know everything. :) She loves learning stuff, on all subjects. I'm thinking that some kind of encyclopedia, compendium, or the like might be a great gift. She's 8 but is definitely reading at a higher grade level. [more inside]
posted by curious nu at 8:31 AM PST - 20 comments

Hair clips for big hair: 2021 edition

I have very thick, very fine, curly hair. I've never been able to find hair clips that work for me, and I'm sick of using elastics that break and get tangled. Anybody here with truly giant hair who's found a solution? I can't overstate how thick my hair is. Not even the biggest claw clip will contain all of it. [more inside]
posted by Stoof at 8:25 AM PST - 20 comments

Is this a bedbug?

Six weeks into a new apartment. Pretty much bought all new bedding, beds, mattresses, etc. Found this guy (image link) this morning. Scale in millimeters. Is it a bedbug?
posted by sixswitch at 8:21 AM PST - 14 comments

Java Webserver Recommendation

We have an existing Java backend (Tomcat 8/Java 8) that we want to rewrite piece by piece (slowly replace APIs as they become alliable in the new server. To that end I'd like to start with a new & more modern web server. It has to be Java based because of the current team's knowledge base. [more inside]
posted by pyro979 at 8:18 AM PST - 3 comments

Breasts, cancer and getting older

Is there a proven link (via credible studies) between a rise in breast cancer risk, and the age of first pregnancy? [more inside]
posted by Crystal Fox at 7:18 AM PST - 12 comments

*Books* that touch on discrimination, microaggressions and intent

Books only! I am seeking book recommendations that deal at least in part with the assumptions that people have about intent, microaggressions and others' experience of discrimination. [more inside]
posted by Frowner at 6:59 AM PST - 6 comments

Alternative Post-Pandemic Bat Mitzvah Suggestions Needed

Kid Gnutron has her bat mitzvah scheduled for May 2022. Planning is daunting for reasons. Seeking suggestions for non-traditional bat mitzvah celebrations for these strange times. [more inside]
posted by gnutron at 6:23 AM PST - 6 comments

Why are coats so complicated??

This is a question for fellow plus-size people who wear women's clothing. I have trouble shopping for coats. They are the bane of my existence because they NEVER fall right over the shape of my body. Any advice? [more inside]
posted by unicorn chaser at 5:55 AM PST - 15 comments

Georgia Unemployment

I have a weird situation with being laid off in state of Georgia in USA and I'm not sure who to contact at the Georgia Department of Labor (GDOL) about this seemingly unique situation. Anyone familiar with how GDOL works? [more inside]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:49 AM PST - 4 comments

Risk Analysis: Hotel Sharing with Unvaccinated Person

I am attending an out-of-town family event at the end of May. My parents and siblings will be there, and my siblings and I were planning on sharing one hotel room. Now I find out one sibling may not get vaccinated. I (fully vaccinated person) am not comfortable sharing a room with an unvaccinated person. Does this boundary make sense? [more inside]
posted by mylittlehipster at 5:48 AM PST - 32 comments

Note-taking recommendation: OneNote or other?

I'm looking for an app to handle my digital notetaking. The key uses are to quickly capture notes while I'm working (e.g., during meetings) and to save web pages or PDFs for reference. I'm tempted to use OneNote but am a little worried about having data locked away in a proprietary tool. What would you recommend? [more inside]
posted by philosophygeek at 5:39 AM PST - 10 comments

Need help thinking through extreme jealousy in problematic relationship?

I (32F) started a relationship with a guy (34M) just under 2 years ago. At the beginning he expressed concerns about my lack of motivation in my career and general low functioning which is a result of depression/anxiety. We agreed to keep it casual but due to Covid lockdown and me spending most of my time at his place during this time, it's extended to two years and started looking more serious. However, there are problems that are causing me a lot of stress and anxiety, not least his lack of commitment and his ongoing concerns about my flaws/weaknesses. I am now in a position where I am only just beginning to consider ending the relationship but I feel so unsure and alone. I find myself obsessing over his relationship with his ex and engaging in unsavoury behaviours that feel like self harm - I will explain below. [more inside]
posted by Sunflower88 at 4:59 AM PST - 80 comments

In search of lint-free tissues or a non-tissue?

I know this seems trivial in the grand scheme of things but I am feeling totally fed up with the dust and lint just flying around every time I grab a tissue -- Amazon brand, if it matters. Is there a particular brand that is light on lint? Or some kind of tissue alternative, perhaps? I probably use too many tissues.
posted by madonna of the unloved at 2:06 AM PST - 15 comments

Recipes for pink slime

So I ended up getting some inexpensive ground turkey that turned out to be a few tubes of pink slime. Recipe ideas? [more inside]
posted by porpoise at 1:23 AM PST - 10 comments

Help someone with RSI who has to click a bunch

I have managed RSI for a long time, but need to be able to do a repetitive daily clicking task. I've tried a foot pedal, voice control, and all have had issues. Looking for advice on what forms of input might be healthy and sustainable long term! [more inside]
posted by wooh at 1:12 AM PST - 16 comments

April 21

We need an umbrella that will not become a projectile

So if our deck is off of the upper floor and we live in a windy area and we don't want our umbrella to become a terrifying missile that sails off from our house and goes careening into the neighborhood, what do we do? [more inside]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:47 PM PST - 12 comments

Trouble dealing with setbacks

I am an obsessive planner and have a really difficult time with deviations from the plan. My emotions get so overwhelming and I really hurt myself and others by not being able to deal with this. I would love some advice. [more inside]
posted by stoneandstar at 9:10 PM PST - 15 comments

Travel to Canada this June?

It's our 25th anniversary, and we would like to go from New England to Montreal in early June. Is the mandatory quarantine, and the ban on casual travel, likely to be lifted by then? [more inside]
posted by wenestvedt at 8:00 PM PST - 19 comments

Best router and modem (or 2-1 combination) compatible with Optimum 300

I live in Brooklyn. I do not care for Optimum but it is the only option I have. I want my own gear. I am looking for something that will provide me with the relatively good security and help me learn about network configuration. [more inside]
posted by ldjflut at 7:49 PM PST - 3 comments

Calvin and Hobbes cartoon?

Where can I find the Calvin and Hobbes cartoon with a caption about "lie awake and think about all the wonderful things that have happened"? [more inside]
posted by ragtimepiano at 6:29 PM PST - 9 comments

(US) Where to buy inexpensive synthetic gemstones?

I'd like to make some simple jewelry, gift my wife, and perhaps have my D&D players face a dragon with an actual (but not terribly expensive) hoard. And, what can I say, I like shiny things. Aliexpress has many shops, and there are many sites a google search away, but it's difficult to judge the reliability of the shops. Is there a standard place to buy these, or a crafting site that has recommendations?
posted by SunSnork at 6:06 PM PST - 9 comments

Is there a name for this concept?

I once heard someone describe how if you had two parallel lines and nudged one ever so slightly, at first the difference wouldn't be obvious, but over time the divergence would become clear and they would end up far, far apart. He was using it to illustrate a point about the effect that even very small changes can have over time, but I'm wondering if there's a name for this concept.
posted by swheatie at 4:18 PM PST - 13 comments

Food box left overnight

Due to a communications error, a box of gourmet meats was left on the stoop overnight. It was in a cardboard box, with a solid Styrofoam insert inside which had ice packs and the meats. The ice packs were largely melted with some solid bits, and the packages were cold to the touch. I'm not too worried about the cheese, prosciutto, and bresaola, but there was duck pate and smoked salmon. I am inclined to just eat it all, but I thought I'd give you lot a chance to opine.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:05 PM PST - 13 comments

Quick question about searching for a new laptop.

Need to make it quick because my much loved Toshiba Satellite finally gave out on me today after many years of service and my not so much loved Lenovo that I'm writing this on is wheezing and groaning, so I need to find a replacement for both, but my preferences are a little bit different than those often emphasized as selling points. [more inside]
posted by gusottertrout at 2:42 PM PST - 11 comments

Ungrounded outdoor Wifi access point - bad idea?

I am planning to install a wireless access point for my backyard, mounted to the exterior wall of the house, powered via PoE. I know that the right way to do this is to run shielded cable from the AP to a grounded Ethernet surge protector followed by unshielded cable to the rest of the network. But given that the cable run is a total of maybe 20 feet of which 4 are outdoors, and that the AP is mounted maybe 2 feet above ground level, how bad would it be for me to do it the wrong way? [more inside]
posted by goingonit at 2:19 PM PST - 7 comments

Care and feeding of professional network. Difficulty level: Fired

I recently lost my job at WidgetCo. Several WidgetCo colleagues have said they would like to be positive references for me, and I’d like advice on how to keep those relationships going as I take some time before a job search. More inside! [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 1:17 PM PST - 10 comments

Books about the breakup of Yugoslavia

Before Osama bin Laden, before 9/11, before ISIS, before the End of History, there was Bosnia. Years ago, there was a fair amount of primary content regarding Bosnia on the internet, but I don't think I ever saw anything that brought it all together. And now a lot of that information is gone. Does anyone have any recommendations for books about the breakup of Yugoslavia in general or the war in Bosnia more specifically? I am particularly interested if the book covers the flow of events: the whos, the whats, the wheres, and the whens. Illustrations with maps and such would be a plus.
posted by Stuka at 12:20 PM PST - 12 comments

Specific question Star Trek Discover plot point question

Specific question about the beginning of season 2 of Star Trek Discovery: Tilly's storyline [more inside]
posted by Ideal Impulse at 12:16 PM PST - 5 comments

What was this educational toy from the 1970s?

4-year-old me played with this peculiar toy for hours, and I'd love to track it down. It was a red letter-sized (?) tray with two wires attached and a deck of cards, each with rows of images. Each image included a circular contact foil. If you touched the wires to the right pairs of images, a light at the top of the tray would light up. It might have been an elephant that was lighting up. Did I imagine this? Anyone?
posted by thisclickableme at 12:16 PM PST - 4 comments

What mathematical techniques came after calculus?

I was reading this article about Nobel prize-winning physicist Richard Feynman, and I came upon an interesting quote. I hope that the quote can be explained to me by someone with a background in math and/or physics. [more inside]
posted by alex1965 at 12:10 PM PST - 8 comments

Removing cracked glass safely

I have a piece of glass with a simple pattern of leading on it. Two panes at the bottom are cracked. I'd like to remove them without breaking the rest of the glass. What do I do? The pattern of leading is very similar to this Leick Riley Holliday TV stand. [more inside]
posted by SandiBeech at 9:54 AM PST - 5 comments

Where to go for a hike-and-dine weekend trip in Northern California?

I'm planning a last-minute weekend getaway, a couple hours' drive north or northeast from the San Francisco area (mid Peninsula). We like moderately strenuous hiking, but also want to stay in a hotel and eat dinner at a nice restaurant afterwards. Where should we go?
posted by serelliya at 9:12 AM PST - 19 comments

Do you know this folk/bluegrass song?

All the lyrics I have from a song on the college radio station the other day are these (or something similar): "Wrapped in the banner of your love" and "I was naked until you wrapped me in the banner of your love." What song is this? [more inside]
posted by mr_bovis at 7:55 AM PST - 2 comments

stimulant vasculopathy in a tween

How big of a deal is stimulant vasculopathy? [more inside]
posted by TestamentToGrace at 7:42 AM PST - 1 comment

How can I create a Kindle book from multiple webpages?

I have the Chrome extension 'Send to Kindle' that allows me to send a webpage to my Kindle. I would rather put several webpages/articles/files into one book. How can I do this? [more inside]
posted by AMyNameIs at 7:26 AM PST - 7 comments

Small(ish) Food Processors

You have a small(ish) food processor, in the 6 - 9 cup range. You have had it for less than three years. You love it! Tell me about it, and why I should buy one. [more inside]
posted by Dolley at 7:07 AM PST - 12 comments

What strange things has your dog eaten?

I am dog proofing my house for a trial foster-to-adopt with a goofball dog (no pictures yet but I will add one in the comments after he arrives to pay my tax.) This is a relatively untrained (due to inexperienced owner) but much-loved 9 month old beagle/retriever/shepherd mix. Please share with me your tales of chewy puppy/adolescent destruction so that I can remove those things from our living space and coach my kids. [more inside]
posted by warriorqueen at 6:27 AM PST - 87 comments

How can I be a delightful and surprising aunt to a 3 year old?

My husband and I finally have a vacation planned to see my 3-year-old niece, and we're so excited! Last time we saw her in person she was under one and a half, and while we're on video chats with her, it's of course not the same. I don't have a ton of experience with little kids, and could use help brainstorming small, silly surprises (toys or games or songs, etc) I can bust out during our trip to help us be the most super-fun aunt and uncle we can be. Suggestions?
posted by tiny frying pan at 5:28 AM PST - 25 comments

Where can I find the video about 5g causing covid by Dr. Cowan?

I am a medical student and obviously do not believe 5g causes coronavirus, but I want to better understand this conspiracy theory that a patient I care for has talked about. Where can I find this full video?
posted by maxexam at 3:41 AM PST - 5 comments

Found a local Nazi online. What next?

On the kinky social site Fetlife, I stumbled upon a man in my city who attends events and meets partners here. He's also a Nazi. What should I do next, ethically and practically? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 12:33 AM PST - 36 comments

Sex, after a drought

My husband and I (female) have been depressed for a while and it has sapped our respective libidos. We'd like to start having sex again despite this, because we think it would be good for us objectively. But it's been two years and we really don't know how to start again. Have you done this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 12:33 AM PST - 19 comments

April 20

Who to call for a very short-distance move?

We're moving to a bigger apartment (from an overstuffed 1br to a 3br). It's in the same apartment complex, but around the block and up a level. Who do we call for this? [more inside]
posted by Alterscape at 8:47 PM PST - 13 comments

what’s it like to live in... anywhere?

My absolute favorite Asks are the “what’s it like to live in [place]?”, where someone is thinking about moving to a city or region and commenters give their impressions of the city. Especially this year when travel is limited, it’s a fun way to “experience” other places. But there’s a finite supply, and I think I’ve read through them all twice now. Is there anywhere else that does this sort of thing (well)? [more inside]
posted by kevinbelt at 5:49 PM PST - 17 comments

Honda Civic 2008 with cracked engine block - What to do?

I have a 2008 Honda Civic that very likely has a cracked engine block. I'll get the verdict tomorrow. It has a few hundred thousand miles on it, but seems to be in pretty good shape otherwise. Do I try to get it fixed, or do I get a replacement car? If I get a replacement car, what do I do with this one, which is likely isn't driveable? [more inside]
posted by answergrape at 4:46 PM PST - 17 comments

Meet this deadline. No, not that one...

I'm meeting a weekly deadline to submit a report, but my co-workers are dropping increasingly heavy hints that I should submit this report earlier in the week without giving me a firmer deadline to meet. I can rearrange my workflow to meet an earlier deadline, so how do I press them to actually give me the deadline they want? [more inside]
posted by Recliner of Rage at 3:26 PM PST - 25 comments

Online, asynchronous Hearts game?

Can anyone recommend a website or app where a group of people in different time zones can play Hearts asynchronously? From searching past questions, it sounds like what I'm looking for is turn-based. I've searched online but can't find anything where everyone doesn't have to be present at the same time. Thanks in advance for any help!
posted by JuliaKM at 2:55 PM PST - 3 comments

What movie is this from?

All I can remember is a break-up scene between a young man and woman, in a restaurant booth, I think. She is a native Spanish speaker, and says something like "I just need some more space" -- she pronounces "space" with an e in front of it, like "eh-space". He replies "I can give you more space; I'll give you all the eh-space you need", reflexively (or maybe jokingly?) imitating her pronunciation of the word space. Any ideas?
posted by Trespassers William at 2:45 PM PST - 9 comments

Admin professionals day - work from home edition

What would put a pep in your kitchen table to bathroom step if your boss got you something on admin professionals day? All my staff now work from home at the moment, and I'd like to recognize the hard working, deeply knowledgable admin staff I supervise. I mostly want to connect their sometimes tedious work to achieving our mission, which I will write in the card for sure. Any ideas on the gift? [more inside]
posted by goodnight moon at 2:05 PM PST - 14 comments

AirTag vs Tile iPhone battery life

I tried using Tile last year but returned it pretty quickly because I found it resulted in poor battery life with my iPhone. Based on the technologies it uses (e.g. UWB) will AirTags be any better?
posted by wutangclan at 1:17 PM PST - 8 comments

Quote from Larry Flynt about trusting people

Trying to find a quote from Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt -- from about 20 years ago I think. [more inside]
posted by zenpop at 12:02 PM PST - 3 comments

How to have pdfs made quickly to send off etc

I have to scan about 100 pages of documents to attach to an online application to a very very important professional exam application (as per format, think the Common Application for Colleges except MUCH WORSE). [more inside]
posted by DMelanogaster at 11:57 AM PST - 9 comments

How do I share a video between android and iphone . . .

Is there a way to take a video on my android phone and DIRECTLY share it with the phone number of an iphone user without both phones having the same program/app installed? [more inside]
posted by luvmywife at 11:36 AM PST - 15 comments

Looking for the origin of this: a god who came to Earth and became a pig

I think this may be part of Indian mythology, but I am not sure. It is story of a god who came down to earth, turned himself into a pig and forgot he was a god [more inside]
posted by Quillcards at 11:20 AM PST - 8 comments

Vasectomy cost & experience?

It's time for Ms. Nandaro to get off the pill, and since we've successfully procreated 2x, it's time for me to do my part and get snipped. I'm interested in experiences, costs and recommendations. Bonus if you are in the NYC/NJ area. Doesn't seem like something to bargain shop for... but since I'll need to pay the full cost (we have a $2,800 unmet deductible) it would be great to hear if/how anyone managed to save some cash.
posted by nandaro at 10:53 AM PST - 18 comments

Recommend a continuous blood pressure monitor?

I am taking care of a TBI/ dementia patient. He is sometimes belligerent or combative and does not want to cooperate. I have found it so valuable to have a DexcomG6 continuous blood glucose monitor that transmits readings to my Iphone through the wall so I can be in the next room when he is agitated. Is there a similar device for monitoring blood pressure continuously? [more inside]
posted by KayQuestions at 10:10 AM PST - 7 comments

Can you recommend simple but fun wooden toy kits?

My 5-year-old niece loves building wooden things, but it turns out there's a million toy kits out there and I'm having trouble separating the wheat from the chaff. Can you recommend any specific old-school wooden toy kits that are suitable for a 5-year-old with assistance? [more inside]
posted by ZaphodB at 9:41 AM PST - 14 comments

Finding energy to change specializations in spare time

I work full-time as a software engineer. My work-life balance is okay, but I have burned out on my specialization within software engineering and would like to pivot into an entirely different specialization. Due to the aforementioned burnout, I'm usually in a terrible mood after work and it usually takes me most of a weekday evening or a weekend before I'm ready to sit down in front of the computer again (if at all), which means that progress has been very slow. What are some things that helped you make progress in a situation like this?
posted by rhythm and booze at 7:23 AM PST - 14 comments

Four Hours in St. Louis

Mrs. Elf27 and I are flying into St. Louis tomorrow for an appointment at Washington University Medical Center. Flight gets in 10:30AM, meeting with physician is at 3PM. How to fill the time? [more inside]
posted by elf27 at 7:00 AM PST - 24 comments

Implementing linear programming on the web

Some years ago, we developed an Excel tool that uses the Solver add-in. Now we have to redesign the tool and port it to the web. What are the options in terms of linear programming routines/libraries/modules etc.? [more inside]
posted by elgilito at 6:01 AM PST - 4 comments

Is there a use for my overcooked soup?

I make a good chicken soup recipe about every six weeks for my daughter and freeze it in half pint jars. This time the noodles lost all structural integrity. It is not attractive. [more inside]
posted by A Terrible Llama at 5:32 AM PST - 12 comments

I need a good accessory charging solution for MacBook Pro

I have two MacBooks in the house: a 2015 MacBook Pro that actually has a couple of USB ports, and now my new work laptop, a 2019 with four lightning ports and nothing else. Every ding dang thing charges by regular USB and not lightning. WTF do you do with all this stuff? [more inside]
posted by Medieval Maven at 5:24 AM PST - 6 comments

Vancouver high school for 6 months: progressive, co-ed, sports

Looking for high school recommendations in or near Vancouver for my 16 yr old daughter for 6-12 months, starting Sept 2021. We are particularly interested in schools that: [more inside]
posted by lapsang at 4:12 AM PST - 5 comments

Who makes the best quality t-shirts available in the UK?

I wear a lot of t-shirts and I would like to get a few that put the rest of my t-shirts to shame. Who makes t-shirts and really pays attention to the quality of their fabric, cut and construction? Are there any companies that really specialise in this? I'd prefer plain tees over snazzy designs, but whatever you have, lay it on me.
posted by dudekiller at 3:50 AM PST - 9 comments

Tea mug with historical motif

I need a new tea mug for the office, and was thinking "how about a historical tea trade related motif" and was halfway to ordering one with the flag of the British East India Company before I recalled that the EIC was a terrible organization that caused untold suffering that has lasted into the present day. So that's a no-go. So, any suggestions to something along the lines of a flag, logo, stamp or similar that has historical significance with regards to the tea trade but isn't, you know, horrible?
posted by Harald74 at 1:42 AM PST - 11 comments

Sick landlord dilemma

My landlord has been been staying with me for the past week in order to redecorate the house. Yesterday he was coughing a lot so I asked him if he's taken a covid test. He said that he's had a head cold for the past 10 days, and it's a wet cough so he doesn't covid symptoms. He also said if I'm concerned I should get tested myself. [more inside]
posted by Chenko at 12:43 AM PST - 15 comments

April 19

rivers and gorge paths and trees

I feel a strong spiritual connection to running water and trees and places where they live. I would like to explore and deepen that connection. Any suggestions? [more inside]
posted by elephantsvanish at 8:41 PM PST - 20 comments

What was the woman in the sample Photoshop image in the early 90s named?

It was a rolls-off-the-tongue two word phrase. The photo was of a Latina woman with a basket of fruit on her head. I believe her last name was Moire. [more inside]
posted by bendy at 8:33 PM PST - 7 comments

How to Become a Tax Policy Consultant or Lobbyist?

I am an accountant with a strong interest in tax policy, and am involved in local politics and civics. I am launching a (small) accounting and tax firm this summer, and would like to include tax policy consulting and/or lobbying as a service that I offer. But how do I do that? How do I land clients and what specific services should I offer them as a tax policy consultant and/or lobbyist?
posted by nowadays at 7:40 PM PST - 2 comments

A new home that answers 'the cry of the Earth and the cry of the poor."

What specific practical examples can you help me find to help a remarkable group of elderly nuns to build a new home? These sweet, bad-ass ladies are really really into 'Integral Ecology.' They want to build sustainable, holistic place for their community to live their later years that will 'combat poverty, restore dignity to the excluded, and at the same time protect nature.' Think convent, community center, city park, wildlife preserve, and spiritual respite for the poor" rolled into one. Can you help with a bunch of cool ideas? (see snowflake details inside) [more inside]
posted by cross_impact at 6:31 PM PST - 24 comments

Flat walking paths/walk options in Atlanta / North Fulton area?

My SO had surgery last fall and has just finished a long-term course of physical therapy, but to keep up his recovery he needs to take regular walks. However, he can only handle short walks on flat terrain. [more inside]
posted by leticia at 6:24 PM PST - 12 comments

Crepuscular Hallucinations

Going on 20 years or so I've experienced occasional, for want of a better word, visual hallucinations. I know they're not real (except perhaps in one case) and I'm not worried about them in the least. I just want to know if they're common and if there's a name for them. [more inside]
posted by sjswitzer at 6:21 PM PST - 24 comments

How Do You/Can You Stay Friends With A Pathological Liar?

My friend lies about literally everything. How do I, or should I even, deal? [more inside]
posted by 2soxy4mypuppet at 6:20 PM PST - 25 comments

Legally changing my first name

I started the process at an admittedly hectic time in my life. Now what? [more inside]
posted by Amy93 at 5:21 PM PST - 4 comments

California dreamin' (or specifically, San Diego)

Seeking tips and advice about relocating to the greater San Diego area. [more inside]
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 4:43 PM PST - 5 comments

Smoky Mountain Recommendations (NC side)

Taking a trip to North Carolina near Smoky Mountain National Park + Nantahala National Forest in late May. Those going include a range of physical abilities, so I'm looking for recommendations for all skill-levels, and not necessarily only hiking. [more inside]
posted by coffeecat at 4:03 PM PST - 9 comments

therapy for autistic adults

I am looking for therapy practices/therapists/organizations (psychotherapy and/or occupational therapy for sensory issues) anywhere in the US that take (any kind of) insurance and are very skilled at or specialize in working with autistic adults who are fine at living independently and have been able to cope with the world enough to make it through high school and college without particular help (although perhaps are very worn down from it and are not at all thriving.) This is for myself. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 3:52 PM PST - 4 comments

Love vs geography

A little while ago I moved to the US, as an unattached young adult, for work and a bit of adventure, fully expecting to move back home in a few years' time. I very unexpectedly met someone I now call my sweetheart, who I am starting to think I would like to be with for a long long time. This is bringing up lots of anxiety and uncertainty around the idea of settling down here for good. Folks who've emigrated to another country (or made a similarly big life decision) for their SO, how did you decide to do it, how did you talk about it with your partner, and how do you feel about it now?
posted by btfreek at 3:31 PM PST - 6 comments

Friend tried to hire our nanny without consulting me. What next?

Our wonderful nanny (N) was in the park with my son (S) when our friend F)ran into her. Out of the blue, F asked N—apparently, nearly begged—to hire her. N said she didn’t have time, but F seemed intent on getting N for whatever time she had. More details and questions below. [more inside]
posted by saltypup at 3:23 PM PST - 29 comments

Making the Dream (Move) Work : Shared Equity Loans - Good, Bad, Ugly?

HomeTap! It's all over NPR! We want to buy in our dream location and need options for our down payment. Tell me about your experiences or knowledge with 'shared equity loans'. They seem like a new loan product and we're considering applying to some of the various companies that offer them instead of going with a traditional home equity loan because of the lack of payments needed to service the debt, among other things. What's the deal with this style of financing? [more inside]
posted by fook at 2:57 PM PST - 6 comments

Good Cat Vet in Broomfield/Lafayette/Louisville, CO?

Bit of a long shot here, but we are in Broomfield and need a cat vet. We have two 17-year-old females. One is asthmatic, one is terrified of ever leaving the house, and both have kidney issues. We are looking for a gentle doctor with a non-chaotic office. [more inside]
posted by Mothlight at 12:53 PM PST - 6 comments

Why does the water at work make my bladder hurt?

For some reason, whenever I drink out of the water coolers at work, my bladder feels irritated. I don’t have an infection. I was away from work for a couple of months and this went away, but came back within a couple days of being at work. What is in the water that’s irritating my bladder? [more inside]
posted by stillmoving at 12:38 PM PST - 25 comments

Songs that are about a song of the same name

I'm looking for songs that are about songs of the same name (which may or may not be the same song.) For example, Monster Mash is about a band playing the Monster Mash, which from context is probably not the same song you're listening to. I'm positive I've heard other songs that do something similar, but I can't remember any of them. Help!
posted by LSK at 11:42 AM PST - 66 comments

Name this book-making contest

My local public library plans to start a write and illustrate your own book contest geared toward students from elementary school through high school. But surely there's a better name than "Write and Illustrate Your Own Book Contest"? Suggestions, please?
posted by MonkeyToes at 11:22 AM PST - 12 comments

Really more of a social anxiety issue

I think I might have psoriatic arthritis, but if not, I have three separate symptoms I’d like to get medical attention for. How do I approach this? [more inside]
posted by stoneandstar at 10:46 AM PST - 10 comments

Empire Tops, Blouses not Shirts, Low-Rise Pants are a Must!

I want to leave home, feel comfy — and look pretty. Can you help me (too) find a few tops and things that will last. [more inside]
posted by Violet Blue at 10:45 AM PST - 5 comments

Taking two university spring courses in one month as a slow reader?

Hi. I am wanting to take two university spring courses online at my university, but I am not sure if it is manageable or doable with the reading course load -- especially since I am aiming for a high mark. [more inside]
posted by RearWindow at 9:03 AM PST - 12 comments

Any Watchouts / Concerns for buying a Condo in Jamaica Plain, Boston?

We are moving to Boston and need proximity to the Children's Hospital. I'm full of questions, but have some specific ones about Boston, Jamaica Plain, and buying a condo in general / HOAs. [more inside]
posted by bbqturtle at 8:57 AM PST - 23 comments

Grad School PhD Success Celebration, COVID-style

My husband is finally about to finish his CS PhD after seven-ish long, long years. I want this to be feted appropriately, but it's been a terrible year for celebrations, and I have no idea what to do! [more inside]
posted by caitcadieux at 8:54 AM PST - 9 comments

Sign theft deterent

We have metal signs approximately 1 x 1.5 ft that are attached to chain link or barbed-wire fences with tie wire. These get stolen every so often. How to prevent this? [more inside]
posted by falsedmitri at 6:39 AM PST - 22 comments

50th birthdayfilter:

What to buy for the person who really is impossible to buy for. [more inside]
posted by essexjan at 6:23 AM PST - 17 comments

Tight v-neck + flares + wedges = much fashion

My body has changed and settled and I need new clothes. I’m 34 and I want to look contemporary. Not TRENDY but updated. I like very basic non floral things. Can you help me find a few pieces - tops and jeans and maybe a dress - that are not very girly but are CASUAL but I can wear for awhile? [more inside]
posted by pintapicasso at 4:41 AM PST - 17 comments

Exposed to infections TB AFTER treatment for latent TB

My mom got a letter from public health saying she's been exposed to infectious TB. She was treated for latent TB in the 1970s when she immigrated to Canada. She has a mark on her lungs still visible now that is somehow the result of that. What happens now? Oh, and she has an auto-immune disease but is not on biologics. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 4:10 AM PST - 4 comments

April 18

What can I do to not think too much about the fear of uncertainty?

So, I guess things are getting real for me and I'm really going to be moving to Canada soon after 3 years of planning. A series of realizations have recently come upon me and I'm getting scared of what is coming. [more inside]
posted by Tarsonis10 at 11:05 PM PST - 17 comments

Fair pay for lyric video

What would fair pay for a four-minute lyric video be? Details under the fold [more inside]
posted by pxe2000 at 5:53 PM PST - 5 comments

north by northwest train romance scene

I sat down to watch this movie with an older person and we had very different reactions to the train seduction scene. I thought it was unbearable / gross / too long, older person thought it was romantic but also being played with a wink for romantic tropes of the time and maybe a little intentional corniness. MeFites of varying ages and experiences and film tastes, what do you think? [more inside]
posted by snerson at 5:27 PM PST - 24 comments

Sweet Baby Ray's barbecue sauce, open, best by Nov. 2020—can I eat it?

I have like a third to half of an open, refrigerated bottle left of Sweet Baby Ray's barbecue sauce. It has a "best by" on it that's specifically "buy by" November 4, 2020. I think I've had it open in the fridge since sometime in mid-2019, after I moved in here. The scent is fine, but I don't know if it's safe to eat the rest. Can I eat it? I have a pulled pork sandwich that it would be great on.
posted by limeonaire at 5:07 PM PST - 11 comments

Colorado family summer hike vacation - best homebase?

We are planning a (vaccinated) hiking trip to Colorado this summer but don't know where to look for a homebase. Too many choices! (Details inside.) [more inside]
posted by Mid at 5:04 PM PST - 7 comments

No Itch Boxer Briefs?

I'm looking for boxer briefs, ideally gender neutral, that won't bother somebody with very sensitive skin. They would need to be tagless, have a soft (covered?) waistband, and not dig in at the legs. Do you know where to find these?
posted by moira at 4:04 PM PST - 16 comments

Is stability and consistency relevant in determining visitation?

I’ve posted here a few times regarding a co parent relationship (if you can even call it go parenting) between myself and the father of my five year old daughter, and am looking for advice on updating or upholding a current custody/visitation agreement. Should I modify an existing order in which I have full physical custody and father has no overnights but visitation rights? [more inside]
posted by MamaBee223 at 3:51 PM PST - 20 comments

Anxious about making choices post-vaccine and managing relationships

I have been very isolated and am struggling with making decisions about how I will handle things when I am fully vaccinated in a couple weeks. Also trying to plan how I will navigate whatever boundaries I decide on with others in my life, who are reasonable but not as cautious as me. [more inside]
posted by Squalor Victoria at 1:41 PM PST - 10 comments

How much to realistically budget for a "good" used car in Canada?

I'm about to start seriously researching and looking into purchasing a new used car for myself, but after looking at listings to get ideas, I'm really not sure how much should I budget for a "good" used car? Am I better off just purchasing a new low-end car? [more inside]
posted by VirginiaPlain at 1:05 PM PST - 24 comments

Left garage door open overnight. Do I need to re-key today (Sunday)?

I'm a new homeowner in a pretty safe town (Louisville, CO). Last night one of us left the garage door open (i think...) and things were messy in the morning. Should I rekey asap? Or can I wait till tomorrow (Monday). Details below [more inside]
posted by betsbillabong at 1:00 PM PST - 14 comments

YouTube: Maximizing engagement on a single video

A popular YouTube channel has agreed to let me create a video for them. How can I maximize engagement for this one particular video? [more inside]
posted by commander_fancypants at 12:47 PM PST - 4 comments

Internet interview audio recording

What's the go-to free software for this ? [more inside]
posted by Sterros at 12:28 PM PST - 3 comments

What are the best Steven Hotdog essays?

Looking for great examples of essays that position historical, scientific, etc. factual research alongside personal narrative to illuminate both through analogy. [more inside]
posted by babelfish at 12:09 PM PST - 3 comments

Ramifications of Canadian having surgery in U.S.

Asking for a friend. He is 72, lives in Toronto, needs a hip replacement badly, is in great pain. Covid has made the possibility of hip replacement surgery an intolerable wait in Ontario. He wants to go to Buffalo, for example, to have it done. He understands it to be about $50,000.00 but he is well-off, able to afford it without impacting anyone else. [more inside]
posted by uans at 12:00 PM PST - 9 comments

Duvet Covers That Open on More Than One Side

I'm looking for patterned duvet covers that have openings (preferably zippered) on more than one side. I've found two brands that do this but there's got to be more out there. [more inside]
posted by paperback version at 11:52 AM PST - 3 comments

another question from your favorite inept aspiring writer!

I received an Honorable Mention in a writing competition last fall and the pub is going to publish said piece in their Spring 2021 edition. I signed a contract in November 2020 giving them permission to publish and they said they'd be in touch in March to finalize everything and give me a chance to update my bio if necessary. I have not heard from them since, and am not sure if reaching out is pushy or or not. [more inside]
posted by nayantara at 9:03 AM PST - 3 comments

Plant watercress in boggy area where sump pump discharges?

I live on a hillside with a lot of water. Northeast US. A sump pump keeps the basement dry when it rains, and a little stream is forming at the place where the water comes out. It's about twelve feet from the house. It looks like an ideal location to plant watercress for the salad bowl. Has anyone ever tried growing watercress in their boggy yards, and did they eat it and survive?
posted by Morpeth at 8:26 AM PST - 2 comments

My kid’s best friend is moving away—how can we make this less awful?

My ten-year-old daughter’s best friend will be moving in the next few months. She’ll be a few hours’ drive away. Neither my daughter nor her friend are happy about the move. I’d be grateful for any ideas about how to support my kid right now and how to help my kid be there for her friend—this is new territory for them both. [more inside]
posted by TEA at 8:13 AM PST - 7 comments

Where do you park things?

The short version is, my brain is getting overwhelmed by trying to deal with Covid stuff (horrific second wave in India), work stuff (difficult, sexist, contradictory, rage-inducing boss, utter lack of boundaries regarding working hours, consistently zero acknowledgement of the mental toll of the pandemic), dealing with a bunch of logistical issues regarding family relocation that cannot be put off, missing the person I started dating terribly (in different cities) with no clear visibility on when I might see them again, and renewed grief that life is just passing by in this mess of coping and loss and panic. The long version is too long. [more inside]
posted by Nieshka at 8:10 AM PST - 9 comments

ad hoc work groups and accountability partners

What are some ways to create accountability and discussion teams that are easy to adopt. [more inside]
posted by diode at 7:36 AM PST - 2 comments

GardeningFilter: what should I plant to stabilise the soil on a wall?

Here is a photo of a planted border along a sunken sports area on our housing estate. As you can see the soil has a tendency to fall under the fence, onto the wall, and down into the court. What can I plant along the edge of the wall that will stabilise it, and perhaps hang down attractively, without becoming an invasive monster? Also, requiring little maintenance. This is in London, UK.
posted by snarfois at 7:22 AM PST - 14 comments

Is this what jazz feels like?

I have questions about the music in this video posted on Reddit. [more inside]
posted by muuratsaari at 6:56 AM PST - 11 comments

Data from workers about the "post pandemic" labor shortage in the USA

Can you point to interviews/studies/or data that has contacted actual workers to find out the reasons why they are applying for jobs in certain industries. Am specifically looking for information about the USA, but if other countries are relevant that would be fine. [more inside]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:41 AM PST - 2 comments

Bluetooth controller for iPad and Genshin Impact

Hi! My spouse and child have gotten into playing Genshin Impact and have invited me to join. We are all playing on iPads. Can anyone provide recommendations for a Bluetooth controller? Bonus if anyone has experience playing something like Genshin on iPad with a controller.
posted by Tchozz at 5:15 AM PST - 4 comments

I don’t know what’s causing my fatigue. What should I look into?

I’ve developed severe chronic fatigue within the last year and I don’t know why. [more inside]
posted by fruitdroid at 4:54 AM PST - 30 comments

Help Me Transition Into Computer Help Desk Work?

I am a talented amateur at computer help desk work, but I am looking for guidance on how to transition to the field formally, a sense of average job security, and accurate statistics as to how the salary might differ from my current one. Much more details after the fold. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 3:24 AM PST - 2 comments

How did you learn to talk kindly to yourself about being a hermit?

If you have an abnormally high need for solitude, and once felt guilty about it but have come to feel not-guilty, how did you make that change? Answers that are not just "go to therapy", please; that does not work for everyone. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 3:24 AM PST - 27 comments

April 17

Processes and procedures we do not want to know about!

What other processes, other than how hot dogs are made, do we really don't want to know about? [more inside]
posted by storybored at 8:19 PM PST - 42 comments

Cat licking himself during zoomies

When my cat is in the midst of the wildest of his zoomies, he often interrupts his fervor to lick himself, often his chest. Why? Is this common? [more inside]
posted by Paper rabies at 6:22 PM PST - 16 comments

Wedding gift ideas - Covid edition

Hi! My friend got married recently, in a small ceremony due to COVID social distancing, etc. To be honest, we aren't super close, but we're friends from college (back in 2005) and we've have kept in touch through FB and in-person by supporting major life events and creative endeavors throughout the years. [more inside]
posted by Shadow Boxer at 4:23 PM PST - 9 comments

Sensory friendly larger size bras that won't make me want to scream

Hi! I'm wanting to hear from women with larger busts (I wear a 46DDD) about their most loved bras that are both highly supportive AND sensory friendly for folks with tactile sensitivities. My current pick is the everyday cotton bralette from Savage x Fenty and while it's perhaps the closest I've found, I'd be delighted to find one that lifts a bit more. Thanks!
posted by fairlynearlyready at 3:47 PM PST - 11 comments

Best way to sell a domain name?

Years ago I bought a whole bunch of pretty good (imho) domain names for projects that I never started. What's the best way to sell these domain names to get the highest price/biggest audience?
posted by FlatHill at 2:51 PM PST - 5 comments

Trying to remember cover design

I'm trying to recall a book cover design. I believe the book would be about an uprising. The classic cover of Things Fall Apart is reminiscent – chunky letters not adhering to a baseline, but the feeling is more of the letters being pushed up into a pile. The topic may also have been Africa. [more inside]
posted by zadcat at 1:49 PM PST - 4 comments

insulating flooring for a home with concrete slab foundation

My house sits on a concrete slab embedded in a bedrock ridge, and has an open floor plan on ground floor (which is approx 1350 sq'.) It is soooo cooold for much of the year, even with 6 mini-splits (2 of them on ground floor), one wood stove and a fireplace, 18 solar panels and a Tesla battery. Also heated rug pads which are too inefficient/costly to use often. Current floor covering is aging bamboo laminate. [more inside]
posted by mmiddle at 1:42 PM PST - 12 comments

Best wording for signage on a private road that looks public

Traffic engineers and traffic nerds: What's the most direct, conventional, effective, and shortest wording for a sign to discourage drivers from using a private road that dead ends? [more inside]
posted by Elsie at 12:53 PM PST - 37 comments

Have a Chrome hyperlink open in an Incognito window

When I'm using a Chrome Incognito window and I hit a hyperlink on a site, the link opens up in a regular Chrome (non-Incognito) window. Not what I want. [more inside]
posted by lometogo at 12:20 PM PST - 5 comments

You no longer have Plantar Fasciitis. How did your recovery progress?

YANMPT. I have plantar fasciitis and I've been doing the prescribed stretches 3x/day, wearing shoes with support, etc., for almost a week. The recurring sharp pains in my arch and heel have transitioned into more regular dull pain, and I'm wondering if this is a positive sign. If you have recovered from PF, do you remember how your pain levels changed over time? How did the sensations change in your foot/feet? And how long did it take? [more inside]
posted by rogerroger at 12:19 PM PST - 21 comments

Grayish, hairy "weed" from childhood memory

When I was a kid in southeastern Iowa, I remember we had a weed growing around our residential gas tank (not a photo of our actual tank) that I haven't seen elsewhere, and I can't figure out what it is from internet searches. I was told it was "horse mint" at one point, but the photos that name brings up don't look like the plant I remember. [more inside]
posted by Spathe Cadet at 11:59 AM PST - 7 comments

Using BitLocker with an automated backup app

I have a Windows 10 PC with three SSDs in it. I'd like to use BitLocker on all three drives, and I'd also like to install SpiderOak One to do automated backups. Help me do this so that it's a "set it an forget it" configuration. [more inside]
posted by JD Sockinger at 10:53 AM PST - 3 comments

A universal place on line to shop for cars?

I know what I want and am having a little bit of trouble finding it. [more inside]
posted by intrepid_simpleton at 10:43 AM PST - 11 comments

Twitter profile management

How do people manage their personal twitter profile and balance against having a job that is potentially public facing? [more inside]
posted by winterportage at 10:25 AM PST - 18 comments

What delicious things should I plant? (Absolute beginner edition)

I, an utter novice gardener and notorious possessor of two black thumbs, would like to (slowly, carefully) ease into the world of edible gardening. I have a newly installed raised bed of approximately 8 ft x 2.5ft that gets full sun in Seattle. I have an endless appetite for vegetables and herbs. I also have zero knowledge and skills. What (and how much) should I plant?? [more inside]
posted by Dorinda at 9:53 AM PST - 42 comments

UK Sausage Subscription

We've gotten my grandad a subscription to the Pong Cheese Club and are now looking for some sort of (cooked) sausage club to complement it, ideally similar in price/quantity and offering an every-other-month schedule. I am failing at googling and am thus hoping someone knows of such a thing. [more inside]
posted by hoyland at 9:40 AM PST - 3 comments

Guitar, bass, amp, and pedal reviews - relatively new

I really enjoy and find useful the reviews on ultimate-guitar.com. The only problem is that it seems to have not been updated in 7 or 8 years and doesn’t have much of the equipment I’m wanting to read reviews of. Is there anywhere like ultimate guitar where there’s a community of reviewers of guitars and guitar amps, basses, and effects pedals, just posting reviews bc they might help others? If it’s still active that’s even better.
posted by jitterbug perfume at 8:18 AM PST - 10 comments

Family movie night

Can you recommend movies that will delight both me and my daughters (seven year old and nine year old)? No Disney/Pixar or Myazaki please, we've seen most of them. [more inside]
posted by Omnomnom at 8:15 AM PST - 41 comments

Are there any scholarly papers on the political party Québec Solidaire?

Hi. I am really interested in learning more about Québec Solidaire from a scholarly standpoint. Yet, I have only found one scholarly article on the political party (Professor Pascale Dufour's paper "From Protestto Partisan Politics: Whenand hoW collective actorscrossthe line. sociological PersPec-tiveon Québec solidaire" is the only paper I can find so far that is academic-oriented. Are there other scholarly works or newspaper articles written by academics on Québec Solidaire
posted by RearWindow at 7:57 AM PST - 3 comments

Gmail vs. Mailchimp

A few years ago I switched from Gmail to Mailchimp to send messages to my organization. I'm thinking about switching back just to save time. Anybody have thoughts on pros and cons on this? [more inside]
posted by robverb at 7:55 AM PST - 8 comments

My dog and baby rabbit. Help.

I let my two small dogs into the backyard and didn't pay attention to them for about five minutes. When I went looking for them, one had a baby rabbit between his paws. I don't think it was in his mouth, but might have been, because he really likes toys and spent his first three years in a puppy mill without much interaction with the world, and probably thought it was a toy or at least didn't realize he would be hurting it. The baby rabbit was not obviously injured. [more inside]
posted by Glinn at 7:37 AM PST - 6 comments

Why is a friendship breakup worse than a slow-fade?

I've seen many MeFi comments criticizing an explicit friendship breakup. They say it's better to slow-fade. I agree with that approach for acquaintances and distant friends. However, for closer friends, I've found it confusing to be on the receiving end of a slow-fade. It takes months to figure out whether the friend is genuinely busy or is slow-fading. It feels drawn-out and painful. In other arenas of life (dating, work), we value clear communication and closure. Why not for friendship? [more inside]
posted by sandwich at 6:44 AM PST - 64 comments

Inspirational science media similar to Sagan Series/Feynman Series?

Many years ago I discovered the Sagan Series and the Feynman Series, and I've found myself returning to them over the years when I'm lacking inspiration for any mundane science-related work. What similar media do you know of? [more inside]
posted by unid41 at 6:09 AM PST - 4 comments

Should I eat this: Bread Pudding Edition

Bread pudding left in oven over night. Can I eat it? [more inside]
posted by degoao at 5:10 AM PST - 11 comments

April 16

Google Sheets data: how to input, how to extract data.

How can I set up a Google Sheet in order to extract a certain data set? There are many more details inside... [more inside]
posted by zardoz at 11:33 PM PST - 11 comments

Who designs the funky fountains at malls?

Who designs those jazzy fountains/water features at parks, malls, airports, etc? [more inside]
posted by Charity Garfein at 9:10 PM PST - 5 comments

Variants and the vaccinated

Can you point me to some actual evidence-based recent thinking about the risk of getting sick from a Covid variant after being fully vaccinated? [more inside]
posted by nantucket at 7:59 PM PST - 4 comments

Can you ID this Puerto Rican arts television show?

A little more than a decade ago I used to watch a Spanish-language arts TV show from Puerto Rico that aired on my local PBS station. It would feature interviews with writers, visits to the studios of painters and other visual artists, performances by guest musicians, and the like. I remember it being called La Hora de las Bellas Artes but google is showing nothing for that. Anyone know what it might have been?
posted by bertran at 7:29 PM PST - 2 comments

Please help me sell a small boat on Craigslist

A family member is trying to sell a 16 ft O'Day sailboat. I've had an ad on Craigslist for months with no response, despite living in an area with numerous lakes. Can you provide a lively, interesting script? Or direct me to resources for writing an ad that will capture attention? I'm open to suggestions on how to get this sold asap. Thanks!
posted by racersix6 at 7:13 PM PST - 16 comments

Which of these trees have pretty flowers in the spring?

Do you know a lot about flowering trees? Can you tell me which species have traditionally pretty flowers in the spring? Northeastern US (New England). [more inside]
posted by geegollygosh at 7:10 PM PST - 20 comments

Fighting Misinformation One Meme At a Time

Some members of my extended family keep posting anti-COVID vaccination shit on their Facebook pages. What are some good pro-COVID vaccination memes, articles, arguments etc., that I could post on my own page that might help them reconsider, or at least make me feel like I tried to help them see the light? The material I am looking for needs to be accessible for people with a high school education or (functionally speaking) less, so technical articles from medical journals won't work for my purposes.
posted by orange swan at 6:52 PM PST - 12 comments

How Can My Dad Checkmate This Woodworking Problem?

Dad Swan is an accomplished woodworker who also has a fairly severe case of rheumatoid arthritis. He'd like to make his own chess pieces to go with the chess boards he makes, but the process is too fiddly for him to manage. He read in a 2004 book by Mike Darlow that there are chess piece tops on the market that a woodworker can buy and attach to their own turned bases, but I can't seem to find anything like that on the net. Woodworkers of MeFi, do you know of such a product?
posted by orange swan at 6:08 PM PST - 8 comments

quick way to cover dvd case with fabric ?

i have an old dvd case i'd like to cover with some minecraft fabric for my friend's son .. im good at hand sewing, but would prefer to avoid bc it seems time consuming .. but i have doubts about a fusible web solution that would be workable over the nylon ish material .. any ideas ?
posted by elgee at 4:24 PM PST - 7 comments

Would one dentist/periodontist be willing to finish another's work?

I recently had dental surgery and was supposed to go back next week for follow-up. However, due to some major issues with the dentist's office afterwards, going back might be awkward to say the least. I was just wondering if another dentist/periodontist would be willing to do follow-up work on another dentist/periodontist's work [more inside]
posted by gtrwolf at 4:23 PM PST - 11 comments

What awesome things can I do with my 3d printer?

I have a 3d printer available, and am looking for some fun project and volunteering ideas! [more inside]
posted by Bionic Raven at 4:10 PM PST - 12 comments

Airfryer + Oil

What kinds of oil do you use with your air fryer? I'm confused! [more inside]
posted by VirginiaPlain at 4:00 PM PST - 16 comments

Camp It's Among Us

Does anyone remember a muppet video meant to educate kids about about HIV/AIDS released in the 90s maybe called "Camp It's Among Us" I've recently learned this wasn't a universal childhood experience and I'm looking to see if I can find a stream of it. [more inside]
posted by edbles at 2:49 PM PST - 7 comments

Mice mice mice, and not the good kind either

Over the winter some mice got into a closet full of stuff. I need advice on cleaning and disposing of things. [more inside]
posted by Frowner at 1:39 PM PST - 7 comments

To marry, or not?

People of MeFi who've remained un-married: how has it worked out for you; what have been some of your greatest challenges/rewards; and what advice would you have to give someone who might be headed down a similar route? [more inside]
posted by hadjiboy at 1:19 PM PST - 20 comments

Wet cat food efficiency.

I wish to regularly provide my two cats with 'wet' cat food on a regular basis without the waste of endless tiny cans. Is this probable in an efficient and affordable manner?
posted by Evilspork at 1:11 PM PST - 14 comments

Free image hosting 2021 edition?

A friend/acquaintance needs help putting several thousand images online for all to see and share. [more inside]
posted by silsurf at 12:48 PM PST - 6 comments

How to explain that you know how to do something but can't explain it?

This could be any skill and not just my immediate example. I had a job interview and the data analysis person asked me about my data cleaning and merging several sources together for analysis techniques. I had no clear answer. Literally, my technique is to look at the data and their sources and go to work based on what needs to be done. I like to think that I'm good at it. [more inside]
posted by Che boludo! at 11:53 AM PST - 22 comments

Trail making standards

Trail making standards, either federal (US) or state (New Mexico)? [more inside]
posted by falsedmitri at 9:46 AM PST - 3 comments

Sand in the backyard - what could go wrong.

We recently adopted a greyhound. He's wonderful. He likes to run, unsurprisingly. He is tearing up our back lawn, which was already in crappy shape for various reasons. Is sand and pine straw a workable solution? [more inside]
posted by dpx.mfx at 9:03 AM PST - 22 comments

Free or inexpensive very basic PDF editor that is NOT open source

Recommendations for a PDF editing program that can merge PDFs, delete individual pages, and rearrange page order? Doesn't need to be able to edit text and might even be better if it can't. NOT OPEN SOURCE and not web-based. [more inside]
posted by Jacqueline at 7:35 AM PST - 18 comments

Help Me Convince Earthlink this is THEIR problem

I have been having a frustrating issue with my own Outlook account connecting to my ISP's incoming mail server. I am going to attempt to get on the phone with someone tonight and resolve it. Please help me prepare for battle and convince them to take me seriously. [more inside]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:12 AM PST - 11 comments

Cooking 101: Is there a "spices and seasonings starter pack" I can buy?

Watching too much America's Test Kitchen and SortedFood (and Mythical Kitchen) during lockdown made me realize I don't have many spices in my pantry, just your basic salt, pepper, and a few other odds and ends. So, is there a "starter set" that one should get? That comes with, say 10-20 of the most frequently used ones? [more inside]
posted by kschang at 6:06 AM PST - 57 comments

Russian Dance

A friend shared this video with just a comment about the sleeve length, but I'm transfixed by it. It looks full of symbolism and I'd love to know more, is it traditional? modern? what does it mean? Is it Russian? Can anyone help?
posted by sarahdal at 4:54 AM PST - 7 comments

Virtual art classes for 9-12 year olds

We did some virtual art classes during spring break for my daughter and she really likes them. Can you recommend drawing classes for kids that cover realistic drawing and perspective, and are weekly or biweekly? Ideally these classes would be in the Bay Area in case we ever get back to in person instruction, but could be anywhere. We would like a class with other kids but if that fails an art tutor would be ok. The main complication is that we would like the classes to start before the end of the school year, or at least be some type of class where kids can drop in midway. They are not interested in drawing cartoon characters/anime or doing a single illustration, they are more interested in learning the principles of drawing at this point.
posted by benzenedream at 1:03 AM PST - 2 comments

April 15

How hard is it to taper off of an SSRI?

I have taken this type of medication for almost 20 years now and am on a high dose. (Yes I will be tapering gradually, and under the supervision of my psychiatrist) [more inside]
posted by CancerSucks at 10:55 PM PST - 18 comments

Growing up with depressed parents.

Resource request. [more inside]
posted by ihaveyourfoot at 10:44 PM PST - 6 comments

Why does tax filing service say I owe no taxes?

Just filed my taxes online. Typically I pay a few thousand dollars. But this year I owe nothing? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 7:55 PM PST - 8 comments

Buying a house inhabited by a long-term tenant: process and ethics

My family is on the way to buy a home, something we never thought would be within our reach. Yay! The home is inhabited by a tenant, who has lived there for several years. They’d like to stay. We plan to live in the home. Can you help me think how to work through this process legally and as compassionately and ethically as possible? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 7:55 PM PST - 44 comments

Please help us choose some plants for this outdoor dining structure.

Helping a friend figure out plants for their outdoor dining structure in New York City. What would thrive outside in bright-ish light from spring to fall without being too cumbersome/bushy/expensive? Said outdoor dining structure pictured here [more inside]
posted by wowenthusiast at 7:03 PM PST - 4 comments

Rocky Mountain Thai--good delivery or other ideas in Denver?

Hello Mefites. I just found out that pretty much the whole family of a good friend in Denver has tested positive for COVID (her husband and three kids). They are quarantined in their house and our friend group wants to help by sending meals but none of us live there, so I'm looking for suggestions. [more inside]
posted by fiery.hogue at 6:22 PM PST - 7 comments

Is there such a thing as a water draining pump?

Specifically to drain soapy water from a tub? [more inside]
posted by fantasticness at 5:26 PM PST - 15 comments

Hair loss: which drug, or both?

Two simple questions, anecdotes welcome [more inside]
posted by Sterros at 5:20 PM PST - 8 comments

How can I make sure I'm the only passenger in my Uber or Lyft ride?

I'm confused. I don't use ride sharing services often, but I'm vaccinated now and sometimes I have to take transportation to go to an appointment (like today). [more inside]
posted by DMelanogaster at 4:31 PM PST - 8 comments

Watering can recommendations? (Large, for outdoor use)

I'm looking for recommendations for a large watering can (ideally ~2 gallons) with a comfortable grip for outdoor use. Further details inside. [more inside]
posted by aws17576 at 3:30 PM PST - 9 comments

Did I imagine this band?

Years ago I was standing at the magazine rack of a bookstore reading about a band called DECRE. The name stood for Decreationism, the philosophy that God was de-creating the universe. They had a song "(HE Gives Me) Satisfaction" Everytime I read a post about DEVO I try to look them up DECRE. Google searches always come up blank. Did they exist, but were they, and all evidence of them, de-created? Am I the only remaining person who remembers them?
posted by otherchaz at 3:13 PM PST - 7 comments

How to foster a future politician/policy maker?

Our thirteen year old was *activated* by the horrors of the last four years. He wants to start working towards a better tomorrow—now, right now! What first steps should he take as a budding politician/policy maker? He’s doing research into becoming an intern at our state capital (Colorado) and reaching out to progressive candidates for volunteering opportunities. He’s also contacting the state arm of the Democratic Party and the DSA. What else?
posted by Don.Kinsayder at 3:11 PM PST - 18 comments

A storm door that can handle actual storms?

Needed: recommendations for heavy-duty storm doors. I have two doorways opening onto deck. The deck is exposed to some intense weather, e.g., 30mph gusts that blast rain horizontally at the side of the house. [more inside]
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 12:36 PM PST - 2 comments

What are these crystals from our kettle?

We have an electric kettle that we use to boil water that we later transfer to a thermos bottle. The other day, the water that came out of the bottle looked milky. Under a microscope, the "milk" looked like this (x 125). What is this? [more inside]
posted by elgilito at 12:34 PM PST - 3 comments

How an I cast my chromebook to my roku?

I looked all over online and can't find anything conclusive. I tried using a screen mirroring app, they all sucked and wouldn't work well at all. I really prefer roku and already have one so I don't want to buy a chromecast. How can I cast my chromebook to roku ellegantly? THanks!
posted by maxexam at 12:21 PM PST - 4 comments

On rest, productivity, spontaneity, and balance; how to schedule time?

Hello. I am curious to know how fellow humans balance their time. Do you purposefully plan rest days? Do you work your butt off and only rest when you burn out? Do you set aside a chunk of time each day to relax, or every week? Month? How do you turn off the “productive” / hustle mindset when there’s always something to be done? [more inside]
posted by sucre at 11:30 AM PST - 7 comments

What should I cook in my giant new pan?

I recently cashed in my Amazon points on this ridiculously oversized pan. So... what should I cook? [more inside]
posted by caution live frogs at 11:08 AM PST - 29 comments

Where can my sister buy in RI for 150-200K?

My sister has been pre-approved for a $150K mortgage. We may be able to find her another 25-50K. She works in Providence, daycare is in Pawtucket. What are her best options in terms of what areas to look in? [more inside]
posted by DarlingBri at 11:06 AM PST - 19 comments

Canine conundrum

My neighbor relies on me to help him take his dog outside for walks but I'll be moving away soon. How can I be of help to him after I leave? [more inside]
posted by mf_ss at 10:43 AM PST - 9 comments

I cannot get the words out of my head and into my mouth...

I have a problem that I'm getting really sick of. My mind is always teeming with thoughts and I have a constant internal monologue, but I have a lot of trouble *speaking* them. How can I begin to explore what this is all about and possibly improve? Do you experience this? [more inside]
posted by kitcat at 10:00 AM PST - 19 comments

Calm my baby brain

My partner recently dropped a metaphorical bomb on me. Early in our relationship, Partner and I discussed, and seemed to agree on, the Big Things – e.g., marriage (yes), kids (no). However, about a month ago, Partner let me know that their feelings towards having kids has changed and they feel they would deeply regret never being a parent. I've been planning for a childfree life since I was young. [more inside]
posted by Robocat at 9:46 AM PST - 12 comments

Art of beginning and feeding a conversation

I need ideas for starting, extending, deepening, and sometimes salvaging a conversation. [more inside]
posted by ebesan at 8:22 AM PST - 8 comments

Recommendations for Zoom video backgrounds?

There's a ton of Zoom background sites out there, but searching them feels spammy and it's a bit overwhelming to find good ones. What are your favorite sources or examples? I'm particularly looking for video backgrounds (beach/forest/office etc.) Thanks very much for any tips!
posted by Bwithh at 8:15 AM PST - 6 comments

Help me import a previous Thunderbird calendar into a new profile

My Windows 10 computer was having issues. Tech support said the solution was to wipe it clean and start again. Before doing so, I saved a full copy of my existing Thunderbird profile. Now, the question is, how do I import the calendar into the newly created profile? [more inside]
posted by sardonyx at 8:06 AM PST - 8 comments

Paid recycling services - verifying what they do, and best total impact?

Is there any way to verify that recycling services like Ridwell and GreenDisk actually keep stuff out of landfill? Should I put money and effort into better landfill policies rather than my own individual trash? [more inside]
posted by kristi at 7:45 AM PST - 7 comments

mortgage refinance paranoia

I'm late to the refinance but submitted a request online which was followed by about 100 calls and emails from different lenders. How do I verify that the person I'm about to give my personal details to is legitimate? [more inside]
posted by roue at 7:18 AM PST - 3 comments

microfiber trap for washing machine?

We're looking into getting a microfiber trap for our washing machine. Any recommendations (or ones to steer away from)? Tips? We're in the US. [more inside]
posted by joyceanmachine at 6:57 AM PST - 2 comments

Who's the worst musician to become famous as a musician?

This is a silly question that I keep thinking about when I've got nothing else on my mind. Who is the worst musician to become reasonably famous or successful as a musician? Some examples and caveats inside. [more inside]
posted by kevinbelt at 6:38 AM PST - 62 comments

Communal Watchlist

Is there an app anywhere like Letterboxed that will let me and a small group add films to for a regular watch party? [more inside]
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 5:11 AM PST - 4 comments

April 14

How is bathroom vanity formed?

The vanities in both bathrooms are in poor condition and weren't great craftsmanship to begin with. Where does a USian find a vanity cabinet and top/sink that won't fall apart in a few years and how much should I expect to pay? 30" and 36" widths. [more inside]
posted by momus_window at 10:20 PM PST - 12 comments

Reaching out to an ex friend when they've told you not to

My longest, closest friend has dumped me, or at the very least, has declared we are on a break. This whole situation has completely blindsided me, and while I understand this is mostly out of my control, I want to do the right thing and let my friend know they are important to me. I have been told to respect their boundaries by not contacting them, and I totally will if that's the right thing, but I can't help but feel like I should try one last time. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 9:19 PM PST - 68 comments

Organizer for flash drives?

Looking for recommendations for storing / organizing flash drives [more inside]
posted by TimHare at 9:16 PM PST - 8 comments

Rewiring Traction Control System Button on a Honda Fit

I'd like to install a control panel for controlling custom interior foot well lights, dash cam, and other accessories in the bottom left of the drivers dashboard in the spot where the Traction Control toggle button is since there's a few empty button spots. But I don't want to lose the TCS control, how do I add it's functionality into the control panel? [more inside]
posted by gzimmer at 7:21 PM PST - 5 comments

Dualboot Set-Up Assistance

After putting a new SSD in my PC I installed Linux Mint & Windows 10 on it with the intention of using the old HDD as storage. Installation went well, but after mucking with stuff I ended up deleting the Linux partitions, assuming a reinstall would make it easier to avoid the issues I created and give me an opportunity to set things up better. [more inside]
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:04 PM PST - 11 comments

How make this vase "water safe"

I bought a metal (aluminum?) vase at a thrift store. It has some kind of coating on the inside that I assumed meant it would be fine to use as a vase for fresh flowers. I didn't notice the sticker says "not water safe" on it until I was at home washing it. Can I make it water safe with some kind of coating? NOTE: I DO NOT WANT TO USE A SEPARATE INNER CONTAINER.
posted by dancing leaves at 7:02 PM PST - 12 comments

School-related comedy on YouTube

In search of school-related comedy YouTube channels, preferably from the teacher’s perspective.
posted by cake vandal at 6:34 PM PST - 2 comments

Clearing KYC to get on a crypto exchange.

No comments about how bad crypto is please. I need this for work. UK/US citizen. Has US passport. Lives in UK. Has UK bank account. Know your customer on crypto exchange wants UK passport. Is there any exchange that will accept US passport? I mean, I’ve managed to buy a house and run a bank account for 8 years.. [more inside]
posted by The Last Sockpuppet at 4:26 PM PST - 4 comments

Partner has GI problems and we're getting scared

Partner has gastrointestinal problems and we're getting scared. [more inside]
posted by Arthur Vandelay at 3:02 PM PST - 34 comments

Microsoft Word Oddity #872,982

What are these odd text boxes and how can I efficiently get rid of them? [more inside]
posted by hydra77 at 2:50 PM PST - 13 comments

Known cases of harm from telling FB your initials and favorite color?

The internet loves little generative memes where you choose from the first column based on your favorite color, the second column based on your birth month, the third column based on your initials, and bam, that's your Wacky 80s Band Name or something. Every time one comes around, someone asserts that you're an utter fool if you participate, because it's basically asking to have your personal data stolen by evildoers. So...is it? Are there any known cases of responses to these memes being used for nefarious purposes? [more inside]
posted by nebulawindphone at 2:45 PM PST - 8 comments

Should I splurge on the Litter Robot?

Is the Litter Robot worth the money? [more inside]
posted by freshwater at 10:34 AM PST - 21 comments

Board/card games for kids + adults?

I'm looking for board or card games that are fun for both kids (ages 8 & 12) and adults. [more inside]
posted by gottabefunky at 10:32 AM PST - 31 comments

Convincing the HOA that they don't have to control all the shrubs

Encouraging the HOA to decentralize and be less controlling: Can you point me to an article or other writing that will show our HOA board that things will be fine if they relax about letting people plant things? With guidelines? [more inside]
posted by amtho at 9:55 AM PST - 15 comments

"Would you like to sell your house?" - Scam?

Unsolicited call asking if I am 'Joe Blow' (using my real name.) Then asking whether I own the property at '1234 Oak Street' (using my real address.) Finally asking if I'm interested in selling my property. Scam? [more inside]
posted by leafwoman at 9:10 AM PST - 29 comments

In education, what is this phenomenon called?

What is the name given to the phenomenon whereby people become interested in a subject area as a result of direct experience. Or alternatively, people are not interested in learning about topics of which they have little or no experience. [more inside]
posted by jacobean at 9:05 AM PST - 13 comments

Help me copycat these green beans!

A local restaurant makes these green beans that are really delicious. Please help me figure out how to replicate them. [more inside]
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 6:33 AM PST - 16 comments

Cheapest Parking at Newark Airport

What are the best spots for cheap parking at EWR? And walk me through what needs to happen. [more inside]
posted by greta simone at 5:48 AM PST - 7 comments

Monovision via LASIK?

I'm curious to hear from people who have chosen to elect monovision correction via LASIK. As I understand it, monovision makes one eye near-sighted and the other far-sighted with the goal of delaying the (albeit eventual) need for reading glasses. [more inside]
posted by kinsey at 5:17 AM PST - 5 comments

Help/Hope me?

Maybe it's just me, but I've recently noticed a lot of instances where people (seem to) misspell "help" as "hope", in phrases like "Hope me find a new..." Is this a new trend I missed out on? Or am I misreading something? [more inside]
posted by shanek at 1:31 AM PST - 8 comments

Locating Missing Friend From Abroad

A friend of mine has gone missing in Pakistan at some point in the past nine months. They are Pakistani, and all attempts to contact them and their family have received no response. What are my options for achieving this from outside the country, and with no other connection to Pakistan? Would a private investigator be able to assist? I am happy to spend some money on this. [more inside]
posted by Braeburn at 1:21 AM PST - 2 comments

April 13

Asked by dentist to pay upfront, get refunded by insurance later. Legit?

Much to my surprise, I was told right after dental surgery that I needed to pay the whole amount right then and there (because a "specialist" was involved), and that I would later be reimbursed by my insurance company for their share of the bill. Considering that they didn't bother to mention this before the surgery, I was just wondering if this is standard operating procedure or not. [more inside]
posted by gtrwolf at 11:47 PM PST - 23 comments

Money from abusive parent, plus tax problems

My wealthy, abusive parent is trying to send me a lot of money. They told the IRS I got the money last year. I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:29 PM PST - 19 comments

I match the description of a criminal at large - what should I do?

In my community, fairly close to where I live, a driver killed a bicyclist and drove away. The limited information happens to coincidentally match my car - the partial license plate almost matches my car, and the (few) details of the color, size, type, and condition of the offender's car match my car. The details are sufficiently generic and broad that I can imagine multiple cars match. For instance, no make or model of the car is known - just the size and type of car. It still seems too much of a match for me not to be worried someone might see my car and call the police. I am absolutely certain no one took my car. Should I do anything about this coincidental match? Should I do anything to ensure I am not considered a suspect? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:29 PM PST - 9 comments

Well I've been afraid of changing...

Going through some pretty big life changes, and I'm experiencing quite some anxiety about it. What are your favorite sayings, quotes, song lyrics, scripture, essays, etc. about embracing change? The inevitability of change? The importance of accepting change? Anything that discusses or presents change in a positive light, please! [more inside]
posted by keep it under cover at 11:26 PM PST - 11 comments

what helped you grieve?

What book or piece of writing helped you to grieve? I wish to gift a book to a distant friend who is about to lose their mother after a swift illness. Here's some characteristics i'm looking for, but please don't let it limit your sharing of ideas: - written by a woman/NB/queer person/people - feminist approach - philosophical or sociological e.g. not a self-help book, or a 'science of grieving book'... more like an Audre Lorde or bell hooks style. - poetry or prose or graphic novel - could be old or contemporary
posted by MT at 10:03 PM PST - 13 comments

you had a stroke how did it go

I just had a "mild" stroke on my right side. I would not have put myself in a risk group, but here i am. After your stroke, what would you have done differently to improve your outcome? [more inside]
posted by maxwelton at 7:36 PM PST - 11 comments

Entertaining, sweet, or funny short animal or science videos

Do you have any short and wonderful videos of animals, nature, activities like baking/sports/travel or science? Or a source for them? They need to be very short - 1 to 3 minutes long. And have very little to no narration. No music preferred, quiet music ok. [more inside]
posted by Dynex at 6:38 PM PST - 10 comments

Can I record just audio on Zoom?

I have to conduct some interviews and some of them will likely take place over zoom. My editor wants the audio files of my interviews, and I'm wondering if there's a way to record only the audio, so I don't have to send videos of myself to the editor? I have only the free version of zoom. Thanks.
posted by swheatie at 6:05 PM PST - 5 comments

cold reading like psychics do: I need to read about it

This is for research. I need books on, like, fortune-telling, psychic readings, etc. Scenarios where a client seeks answers about their inner world, and the professional demonstrates magical-seeming insight. [more inside]
posted by fingersandtoes at 4:16 PM PST - 11 comments

Help me find this Johnson & Johnson risk visualization

I recently saw a great visualization of the risks associated with the J&J vaccine. The visualization consisted of thousands and thousands of dots being displayed, with an occasional blue dot (meaning that person's life was saved by the vaccine) and a incredibly small number of red dots (blood clots). But I can't seem to find it now. [more inside]
posted by schrodycat at 4:14 PM PST - 5 comments

Please help me compare cities' air pollution.

I like to be outside, and I like to be in walkable places, and I'd like to know which places have better air quality. [more inside]
posted by Ms Vegetable at 3:08 PM PST - 7 comments

Hope me string trimmer!

I’m looking to get a cordless electric string trimmer. But, I have no idea what I’m looking for. [more inside]
posted by Thorzdad at 2:42 PM PST - 22 comments

Largish Word files lagging after the tiniest of edits

I do freelance copyediting, and I'm getting these problematic large Word files from one particular client (usually about 12MB or 400-500 pages). When I’m editing the downloaded file with Track Changes on, Word often stalls for about five seconds; the top bar grays out and says Not Responding, the fan comes on, and I can’t do anything until it catches up. [more inside]
posted by scratch at 2:34 PM PST - 14 comments

How to get a close armpit shave with a safety razor

What it says on the tin, basically. I switched from disposable razors to a double-edged safety razor to try to cut down on disposable plastic waste, and I'm generally happy with it except for one thing--it shaves my legs well, but I can't seem to get rid of armpit hair as easily. Help! What am I doing wrong? [more inside]
posted by Secret Sockdentity at 2:33 PM PST - 12 comments

What is the quality of Athabasca University?

So, there are some standalone courses that I would like to take. It might not be possible to take them at my "physical university" due to other things that might take my time away. Nonetheless, since there's summer break, I figure that's a lot of time in which I won't be doing much. I figured I'd just put the time into other courses that might get me ahead. [more inside]
posted by Tarsonis10 at 2:30 PM PST - 8 comments

I need help figuring something involving a half-percentage.

Per the IRS, the mileage deduction for 2020 is 57.5 cents per mile. I drove a total of 525 business miles (yup; pandemic.) I don’t know how to figure something with two decimal points: .57 x 525 miles is $299.25, but how to figure it with that second decimal of .5% per mile?
posted by BostonTerrier at 1:31 PM PST - 8 comments

School of Hip Hop

I'm 50, grew up on rock and roll. I've always liked hip hop, but don't really know my way around it. How to fill this gap? [more inside]
posted by signal at 12:34 PM PST - 16 comments

Give me your recipes featuring dates

It's Ramadan and I guess because we can't meet each other people have been giving me dates. I do not like dates. Please help me turn these dates into other foods that I might like.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 12:33 PM PST - 25 comments

how do I get my partner to better prioritize oral hygiene?

My significant other has some.... very specific criteria for accepting conventional social practices. I appreciate his uniqueness, intelligence, and eccentricities in many ways... however he recently confessed to brushing his teeth only a few times a month(!) arguing that he eats no sugar/alcohol/caffeine/few processed foods & doesn't need to. After discussion he has agreed to brush on a daily basis, but will not floss or visit the dentist. He wants evidence that his health will be negatively affected if he doesnt- can anyone help with links/experience on this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 12:29 PM PST - 50 comments

The trickiest lawyer question probably ever!

There are a group of schools in Europe called "The European Schools" and they are actually an intergovernmental organization. For that reason, if you want to appeal a decision then it needs to go to board in Brussels. How would I go about finding a lawyer familiar with these situations that could help prepare an appeal? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:21 AM PST - 6 comments

Professional pianist who released "My First Piano Recital"

A while ago, a very good professional piano player released an album with a tongue-in-cheek name like "My First Piano Recital," in which she played piano-lesson staples with professional taste and musicianship. I seem to remember the Bach C-major prelude, Rondo Alla Turca, and some Clementi sonatinas. Maybe Für Elise? That sort of thing. This title and list of pieces are utterly ungoogleable, and I don't remember her name. Ring any bells?
posted by nebulawindphone at 10:44 AM PST - 7 comments

Help me get through this month. Grad school and family covid special

I am in a terminal MA programme and I have my last bunch of essays due early May before the dissertation which I will write over the summer. I don't want to give too many details away because I know people on here but essentially Covid struck my family this week. I have a grandparent with underlying health issues in hospital, potentially another grandparent affected, symptomatic siblings and parent. I live two continents away and haven't been back since 2019 (thank you Covid). I cannot change essay deadlines (I checked) -- I'd have to graduate a year later if I do so. I cannot think at the moment, please help me get through these testing weeks. [more inside]
posted by bigyellowtaxi at 10:29 AM PST - 12 comments

I'd give my right arm to make my elbow work properly again

I broke my right elbow badly in May 2019 and while I feel pretty damn functional overall, I don't have my full range of motion and can't fully straighten my right arm and lock my elbow. Biomechanics experts: are there ways I can make increased muscle strength partially compensate for this issue? [more inside]
posted by maudlin at 10:29 AM PST - 4 comments

How can I recreate a relaxing fancy hotel stay but at home?

Seems like the case numbers are reducing in Scotland, which of course is great news for people surviving but also for other reasons, but it looks like it will still still be a while before we can stay in a hotel for leisure purposes. While I am waiting, can anyone suggest a way to recreate a relaxing fancy hotel feeling of a break but within my own flat? [more inside]
posted by AuroraSky at 9:38 AM PST - 16 comments

What is the best group email option?

My neighborhood needs an easy way for residents to email everyone on our street. Is there a better alternative to Google Groups for my situation, or am I overthinking this? [more inside]
posted by TrarNoir at 9:37 AM PST - 6 comments

Meal delivery service in the UK?

A friend in the Midlands in the UK has suffered an unexpected and shocking bereavement. Where I live (non-UK) we have a commercial meal service that delivers healthy, home-made and delicious food that you just need to heat and eat. Can anyone recommend something similar in the UK? [more inside]
posted by rubbish bin night at 9:36 AM PST - 9 comments

Where do I look for cheapo office space in London?

So, Ministry of Startups went bust, and they were my go-to for cheap office space for scrappy startups in London, UK. Where else should I look? [more inside]
posted by osmond_nash at 9:35 AM PST - 1 comment

Sorry, not interested

I work in tech and I get a lot of emails from recruiters who find me on LinkedIn. What’s the polite way to respond to emails I’m not interested in? [more inside]
posted by vanitas at 9:31 AM PST - 11 comments

I gave sensitive info to a sketchy site!

I foolishly went to a website that looked like a government's page and filled out a form to renew my passport. Too late I realized it wasn't a .gov site, and now some faux agency has my SS number, DOB, address, etc. I'm an old woman but am I screwed for the rest of my life? I NEVER fall for that stuff, but I had a serious brain fart this time. Should I assume a new identity?
posted by Smalltown Girl at 9:19 AM PST - 4 comments

Car + Spouse + Phone = Dropped calls

Spouse 1 is on a conference call inside the house. Spouse 2 starts the car (both phones have previously connected to the car for audio and navigation) and the call gets transferred from the handset to the car audio. How can this be prevented? [more inside]
posted by soelo at 8:58 AM PST - 11 comments

Recreating Philadelphia's buttery cakey goodness

Several years ago, I bought a piece of butter cake from a vendor at the Reading Terminal Market, in Philadelphia. It was magical, how good it was. I want to recreate it, but I can't find a recipe that exactly matches my memory... [more inside]
posted by meese at 8:18 AM PST - 10 comments

Rehabbing feet to avoid lifetime of $$ shoes- possible? Your experience?

Half a lifetime of wearing crappy shoes and not challenging the feet = plantar fasciitis, pain, dysfunction. I'd like to strengthen and rehabilitate my feet, curious about your experience and recommendations. [more inside]
posted by 4midori at 7:45 AM PST - 24 comments

Adobe Bridge is crippling my computer

I work on a iMAc 3.5 GHz Quad-Core Intel Core i7 with 8 GB 1600 MHz DDR3 memory, ( late 2013 model ). I use Adobe Photoshop CC 2021 and Bridge 2021 every day. Recently Bridge has been been unusable. When I try to launch, it takes many minutes to open and seems to struggle with every step of the preview process. It's festival of spinning colored wheels. When I try to open a folder of large files it basically freezes and is overwhelmed to the point that I have to force quit. [more inside]
posted by Liquidwolf at 7:13 AM PST - 5 comments

Feed my family: quick and easy meals

I need to get dinner on the table in 30 minutes or less. What are your favorite/go-to quick and easy recipes? One-pot wonders, favorites, meal hacks all welcome. Bonus points for quick, easy meals that also make leftovers (6+ servings). [more inside]
posted by carrioncomfort at 6:46 AM PST - 31 comments

another LinkedIn question

This is a follow-up to a question I asked earlier regarding LinkedIn for two careers. [more inside]
posted by nayantara at 5:44 AM PST - 3 comments

What was the singer Dalida's native language?

I was reading about the life of the singer Dalida and I'm curious about what her native language was. I know she was born in Egypt to Italian parents and then moved to France later in life, but from what I've read online she had a distinct foreign accent in both Italian and Arabic. Could it be that Italians living in Egypt had developed their own specific dialect or something like that?
posted by iamsuper at 5:04 AM PST - 6 comments

How do you clean your oven?

Basically the title. We actually don't use our big oven a lot but use our air fryer/toaster oven thing and I am ashamed to say have kind of let it get out of hand with the cleaning. So now we are rewarded with a rancid smell from the oven every time we use it. [more inside]
posted by massofintuition at 2:13 AM PST - 23 comments

April 12

How do I go on after having a bad falling out with my sister?

I am 28F and my sister is 38. We have had a rocky relationship and we recently really had a falling out and she even deleted me from Facebook. I am feeling a lot of confusion, remorse, guilt, shame, and anger over our relationship and the state of things. I am confused on if I am in the wrong, a bad person, and don't know how to move forward with these negative emotions gnawing at me and distracting me every day and night. [more inside]
posted by anon1129 at 10:13 PM PST - 21 comments

Is there a doorbell camera for a peephole that isn't so obvious?

I know Ring sells a peephole "doorbell" camera that's actually pretty nice, but I'm wondering if there's a product that hides most of the newfangled stuff inside so that the door just looks normal. I don't want to submit a request to my HOA to add a doorbell camera, and I just want a normal-looking front door. Preferably, no monthly service fees?
posted by mhh5 at 9:46 PM PST - 2 comments

Examples of positive unintended outcomes of design?

Designers of the world do you have any examples of positive unintended outcomes of design? [more inside]
posted by turtlefu at 7:47 PM PST - 14 comments

How to care for a baby alligator lizard overnight?

I may be caring for a baby wild alligator lizard overnight until I can bring it to the wildlife hospital in the morning. How should I care for it? [more inside]
posted by bananacabana at 5:59 PM PST - 3 comments

Facebook lockout - again.

I'm in Facebook jail. Again. Third time in two months. They've not told me what I'm doing wrong, all I've gotten is the standard you can request a review boilerplate. Help? [more inside]
posted by The Almighty Mommy Goddess at 5:41 PM PST - 5 comments

Best Adhesive for Cheap Honda Dashboard Plastic

I have a 2011 Honda Fit and I've like to use plastic cable ties to route my phone cables around my dashboard but none of the adhesive seems to like the pebble-y texture of my dashboard. Can anyone recommend a good adhesive for bumpy surfaces?
posted by gzimmer at 5:22 PM PST - 10 comments

Weird anxiety-like physical reaction to sexual intimacy; what gives?

Last night I slept with someone for the first time in a few years, and found that physical intimacy seems to suddenly to cause me to experience unpleasant waves of intense bodily overwhelm. These waves of feeling were unlike anything I’ve experienced before, and I’d love to know if anyone can relate and/or offer a possible explanation for what might've been going on. Details and additional context after the jump. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 4:23 PM PST - 12 comments

LinkedIn Logistics

My global company was acquired by another, larger global company a few years ago. Before the acquisition, I was the Executive Assistant to the CEO. Now, at the new company, my boss is a C-level person but not the CEO. How should I reflect this on my Linkedin profile? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 4:21 PM PST - 3 comments

Is there such a thing as a PhD consultant?

A family member is having difficulty drafting an acceptable proposal for their doctorate. [more inside]
posted by Nonce at 4:08 PM PST - 8 comments

Is it actually possible to manage multiple Zoom accounts?

This has been a problem for me since Covid hit, but maybe it can be solved? I basically have two Zoom accounts: home and work. Every single time I have a Zoom meeting (i.e. multiple times a day), I need to diligently sign into Zoom in my browser AND in the Zoom app. And half the time it goes wrong anyway and signs me into the wrong one. I am a confident computer user and still I cannot get to grips with the logic of Zoom. Can it be tamed? [more inside]
posted by cincinnatus c at 4:06 PM PST - 7 comments

How to crop and trim video files as easily as possible?

I need help cropping and trimming a few video files and not sure where to start. [more inside]
posted by NoneOfTheAbove at 2:37 PM PST - 8 comments

How to book travel for the 2024 solar eclipse

Hi! My girlfriend and I are trying to get a head start on planning for the total solar eclipse that will pass over a good swath of North America on April 8, 2024. How can we book travel plans as early as possible? [more inside]
posted by DavidNYC at 11:38 AM PST - 20 comments

Hiring a Childcare Provider during COVID

I'm a single parent to a 8 month old. Currently I WFH but will be eventually returning to work some days a week, for a few hours everyday. I would like to hire an in-home childcare provider and need some advice. [more inside]
posted by wasabifooting at 11:09 AM PST - 8 comments

How to recover from dyssynergistic defectation / obstructed defecation

I've done a lot of physical therapy for dyssynergistic defecation/ obstructed defecation / pelvic floor dysfunction. PT has helped but I'm not fully recovered. Have any of you had a similar experience and found other things have helped? [more inside]
posted by JSP13 at 11:00 AM PST - 1 comment

Converting timezone in Outlook, MacOS calendar, and Zoom

What is the easiest / best way to convert my timezone in various appointment/meeting apps? [more inside]
posted by mingodingo at 10:58 AM PST - 5 comments

Is my ADHD medication working?

I recently started taking 5mg Adderall for ADHD but I can't tell if it's working? I would ask the nurse practitioner who prescribed it but I didn't get the sense that she has ADHD so I would not expect her to actually understand what I was talking about in terms of how I feel inside my head. [more inside]
posted by bleep at 10:13 AM PST - 22 comments

Seeking a simple, secure app to allow applicants to upload short videos

What is the simplest, safest app or process that will allow a list of applicants to upload a 3-minute video? I'm working on a project that involves an application process with a video upload step. This needs to be easy for applicants we specifically invite to access it (no signup or login required). Ideally, this solution would label and organise the videos nicely for the panel to review, so capturing name, date, and email on or with the video upload would be ideal. This needs to be private and secure too of course.
posted by iamkimiam at 9:44 AM PST - 7 comments

troubleshoot my squeaky windows please!

We are prepping our townhouse to sell and were told to use silicone spray to get rid of the squeaking/screechy noise when we open them. We followed the directions but the sound almost seems to have gotten worse even though they're moving more smoothly. These are vinyl windows, possibly from the original build in 1998. Any suggestions would be wonderful.
posted by brilliantine at 9:40 AM PST - 3 comments

How to deal with this?

So, after my previous 2 questions about holding my son back in kindergarten, we informed the school of our wish and also the teacher. Now the teacher is doubling down and things are sour. I am feeling like this is all my fault and if I was more assertive that this wouldn't be happening and I feel very emotional. How can I deal with this in the best way? [more inside]
posted by catspajammies at 9:36 AM PST - 17 comments

Can I drink it: warm kombucha?

I bought a bottle of GT's Guava Goddess kombucha last night and forgot to refrigerate it; it's now been at room temperature for about 15 hours and the plastic cap is slightly convex, not flat (I'm certain that if & when I open the bottle, there will be a lot of fizz spillover). The expiration date isn't until July 2021. But it's clearly marked as a refrigerated item and yet has been warm for half a day. Can I drink it?
posted by knotty knots at 9:34 AM PST - 8 comments

Soothe my despair with your tales of victory over Lesser Celandine

The Lesser Celandine is attempting a takeover of my yard and the woods behind my house. Please tell me I can tackle this problem. [more inside]
posted by Lawn Beaver at 9:26 AM PST - 7 comments

Good, well organized, interactive online events?

I’m looking for online groups that provide regular social interaction, are well-organized, and involve working towards some sort of common goal. What are good events that fit this bill? [more inside]
posted by auria at 9:14 AM PST - 3 comments

Relationship Expectations - What does a couple need to have in common?

What should reasonably be expected in a relationship? [more inside]
posted by SageTrail at 7:54 AM PST - 56 comments

Buying a house across the country

I'm planning to move from Michigan to the western US to live closer to my kids. The increases in real estate prices where they live are freaking me out, and I'm wondering whether it would be better to move my plans up and buy something there right away rather than renting for a while. Would love to hear from people who have done that. [more inside]
posted by FencingGal at 7:49 AM PST - 10 comments

Book ID: five kids, orphaned and hiding it, 70s

A friend of mine on Facebook is trying to remember a book about orphans living on their own, which she read circa 1980-ish. [more inside]
posted by Orlop at 7:39 AM PST - 14 comments

Designing your own knitwear

I have ideas for knitwear I'd like to make - sweaters, cardigans and tops. I also have ideas for amending patterns... but I'm overwhelmed by the amount of resources out there! Are there key books or sites you'd recommend to an enthusiastic beginner?!
posted by peepofgold at 7:33 AM PST - 10 comments

Ethical, sustainable, *cheerful* clothes?

I'd like to buy more clothing from ethical/sustainable brands, but I also like bright colors and cheerful prints. Where should I look? [more inside]
posted by tchemgrrl at 6:26 AM PST - 17 comments

Make my daily commute suck less

Other than the obvious (music, podcasts, news, audio books), what are some hands-free, audio-only ways to make a daily commute more enjoyable and productive? [more inside]
posted by escape from the potato planet at 5:33 AM PST - 15 comments

What are the best books and movies about stereotypes?

What books and movies help people to think about issues of stereotyping, including how to think about them with kids? I would be interested both in interesting examples that explain or resist stereotyping, as well as blatant examples of the stereotyping that is being pushed against. Ironic and internalized examples of stereotyping would also be interesting. Bonus points if at least some of the examples are appropriate for young people.
posted by mortaddams at 4:59 AM PST - 7 comments

Norwegian handwriting translation help

MeFites have been very generous with their time previously translating a postcard written in Norwegian by my great-great grandmother Johanne in early 1900s Minnesota. Now I have another postcard written by her (though seemingly unsent) which I need help translating, mainly because I’m bad at deciphering her handwriting.
posted by theory at 2:10 AM PST - 3 comments

April 11

Securing the cloth of my car ceiling back to the ceiling

The cloth of my car's ceiling has become detached from the foam lining (or whatever is up there). What is the cheapest way to reattach it? Duct tape has not worked. Assume I do not care what it looks like, I just don't want it blocking the back windshield. [more inside]
posted by schroedinger at 6:06 PM PST - 22 comments

Celebrating 10 years of book club

What should we do to celebrate the 10-year anniversary of my book club? I’d like to do something to mark the occasion. [more inside]
posted by Prunesquallor at 5:23 PM PST - 5 comments

My kingdom for this exact shirt

I have a t-shirt that fits perfectly. It is on its last legs and, since it came from a fast fashion store that specializes in ephemera, they're no longer made. I'm getting desperate. Any last-ditch ideas to find more of this discontinued shirt? [more inside]
posted by Gray Duck at 5:06 PM PST - 7 comments

Preputioplasty for Phimosis in NJ

Is there any way to find someone in NJ who would do this procedure with out me literally calling each office? [more inside]
posted by pyro979 at 3:01 PM PST - 4 comments

Moving a boat: help me break analysis paralysis

Hi all, I have a powerboat that is in a slip at a marina. I also have the matching trailer at a rented parking spot at a self-storage place. This was a project boat, and unlike most project boats, I actually completed the project! [more inside]
posted by BeeDo at 1:29 PM PST - 12 comments

We have a mole. Do we have to care?

We were tilling our garden and a mole crawled out of the dirt. It was definitely a mole because it ran into the grass and then froze there for several minutes so we got a very good look at it. I carefully lifted it with a shovel and laid it back in the dirt, and as it burrowed back in I saw other dirt nearby moving so I think there's more than one. If we don't notice any impact on our garden or lawn can we just ignore them? Does it matter that they seem to be close to our kids' playset? Or are they pests that really need to be addressed? We don't have any pets that will bother them.
posted by Tehhund at 1:11 PM PST - 14 comments

If therapy isn’t working, what’s next?

I’m having an extremely hard time grasping what my issue is, and how exactly to treat it. I feel like I’m not a person. [more inside]
posted by saturday sun at 12:49 PM PST - 19 comments

Get a room ffs

How do I handle constant, relentless public displays of affection from my son (29) and his girlfriend (30) when I am the only other person present? She just never stops pawing at him, though he does try to get her to chill for my sake. They are visiting me this week at my home. I really don't want to hurt her feelings, but I am not sure how much more I can take.
posted by pH Indicating Socks at 10:05 AM PST - 28 comments

How to find a replacement part for a Canon printer?

I own a Canon imageclass MF4570 dn. Recently, while changing the toner cartridge, a piece broke in half. Can anyone point me in the direction of how I would get a replacement part. I haven't had any luck even finding out what the part number is. The part seems to have something to do with the document feed (I think). Here is a picture: https://imgur.com/a/etGwmXJ In case it matters, I'm in Canada.
posted by NoneOfTheAbove at 8:42 AM PST - 6 comments

Are these interactions between our cats something to worry about?

Should I be concerned about my resident cat stalking my new cat to the point where the new cat pops off? [more inside]
posted by The Notorious SRD at 7:52 AM PST - 6 comments

April 10

Post-breakup cocktail party ideas

(CW: uses of humour and alcohol as part of healing from abuse and trauma.) A dear friend has recently come through a traumatic breakup, wherein her surprise-covert-narcissist partner refused to leave her apartment for a couple of weeks and became suddenly horrific in words and actions (she had the resources to take herself elsewhere and see his behaviour for what it was, thankfully). He's out of the picture now, and as part of healing she's throwing a house party. What is a good thematic cocktail we can make for the occasion? [more inside]
posted by cogat at 9:59 PM PST - 14 comments

Googling "cult movies" does not help

I really loved "Midsommar" and am now really enjoying a horror novel about a fictional religious cult. Are there other movies/shows/books about "creepy stuff that happens in cults"? (It has to be fiction though. I don't want to watch anything about real people getting hurt.) Thanks!
posted by AngerBoy at 8:35 PM PST - 41 comments

Embarrassing Google search result

I'm job hunting, and googled myself, like you do. The results all seemed pretty normal except for an inexplicable "associated word." It's bothering me a lot and I'm trying to figure out why it's there and if it's possible to get rid of it. [more inside]
posted by cat friend at 8:24 PM PST - 11 comments

Persuading HR (Filter: coronavirus)

I got a part-time job, yay! One of my new supervisors/HR apparently forgot everything I told him during the interview (and why shouldn't he? I am sure he interviews hundreds of people a week) about getting my 2nd vaccination, and then it's two to three weeks before I am safe to work. [more inside]
posted by intrepid_simpleton at 7:29 PM PST - 4 comments

Help me to help them help me with better feedback at work

What strategies have you had success with for eliciting relevant, helpful feedback from colleagues who may not be very skilled in giving feedback? I want to more actively solicit 360 feedback at work. (“360” = from bosses, direct reports, and other work relationships). [more inside]
posted by tamarack at 6:56 PM PST - 6 comments

What's with those community talk radio programs early Sunday mornings?

Sometimes I have to drive to work early on Sunday mornings, and it seems like every radio station, even the ones that usually play music, plays these odd local talk programs exactly between 6:00-6:30 AM. (I'm in the Northeastern US.) For example, they might be about school fundraisers or PTA meetings. They are distinct from the morning shows they usually have. What law are they trying to comply with, and why does every station play them at the same time?
posted by Seeking Direction at 6:18 PM PST - 1 comment

How to contest a sky-high utility bill?

Our water & power bill is twice as much as usual, mostly because we've allegedly used a massive amount of electricity. I'm going to call the provider (Los Angeles DWP) to question it, but what should I know? [more inside]
posted by BlahLaLa at 4:48 PM PST - 10 comments

True stories of emotionally supportive men

Do you, a heterosexual woman, receive verbal emotional support from your partner? Can you provide a typical example with specifics (preferably including what was said)? I'm not looking for that one heroic time they really came through but more what you've come to expect day to day. The point of this question is to better understand the range of possibility in real life.
posted by HotToddy at 4:44 PM PST - 23 comments

Sharing a Heat Pump for Multiple Uses

We are thinking about adding a chest freezer in the garage. We have also considered adding ductless minisplit AC to a room or three in the house. The thing that turned me off the AC previously was not having a great place for the compressor, but if we're going to get a freezer anyway, I'm wondering if there are any space/energy efficient combo options that could use the same heat pump for multiple applications.
posted by willnot at 3:22 PM PST - 3 comments

What are the cons of living in Toronto?

So, I'm moving to Canada to get a Master's Degree in CS with focus on ML/AI, not to Toronto though, but close enough that I may consider moving there later on. A series of circumstances have put me in a position in which staying in Canada is a very easy thing for me. I've received a lot of encouragement from family and friends and as such I've decided to take the plunge. [more inside]
posted by Tarsonis10 at 3:03 PM PST - 24 comments

Ecotourism doesn't have to be a swear word.

Sustainability-minded folks: tell me of public-private partnerships for sustainable tourism that are really about conservation. [more inside]
posted by Sheydem-tants at 2:33 PM PST - 8 comments

Whose homecoming should be first?

I adopted B last year. I recently started considering getting a companion cat, and finally zeroed on a kitty who sounded perfect - female, friendly, young (I have only gotten videos and descriptions as the adoption folks aren't doing in-person visits. Thanks, covid). This is a question about how their introduction should be handled, with a small additional wrinkle. Details past the jump. [more inside]
posted by Nieshka at 2:05 PM PST - 3 comments

Should I Worry (Covid Vaccination Reaction)?

Has anyone heard of/ had a reaction to the shot involving really bad vomiting and diarrhea? More inside. [more inside]
posted by WalkerWestridge at 12:11 PM PST - 16 comments

Common assault?

How do we process what happened on the rugby pitch? [more inside]
posted by charlen at 12:03 PM PST - 37 comments

Cover our Couches

I'm looking for information about buying covers for our Ikea sofas from third party sites. Do you have a set of covers from Bemz or Comfort Works or Soferia or Etsy or any of the other sites that create custom covers? Do you love it? Do you hate it? Was it worth the price? What was the process like? Bonus: Any Canadian companies doing this? [more inside]
posted by Valancy Rachel at 11:41 AM PST - 8 comments

Vaccines and variants (hope me)

Has anyone collated good, up to date information on the effectiveness of different vaccines on the currently dominant variants? Can you point me to this source? [more inside]
posted by DTMFA at 10:12 AM PST - 16 comments

Please help id this moth

I'm not having luck with insect id sites. jpg
posted by bleary at 9:58 AM PST - 5 comments

Strategies for talking to hospital about errors in bill

I spent a couple of days in the hospital a couple of months ago, and my bill has errors in it. I'm going to have to call to dispute these charges, and I would like to have some strategies or approaches to use that will lead to more likely success. Any suggestions and stories of success or failure would be helpful! [more inside]
posted by hippybear at 9:27 AM PST - 6 comments

Messaging timing etiquette

Is there a consensus on etiquette about texting or messaging (dating apps or otherwise) acquaintances early in the morning? [more inside]
posted by needs more cowbell at 4:10 AM PST - 45 comments

Want to read more works from poets of colour

What's a poem you love that is written by a poet of colour? [more inside]
posted by pleasebekind at 12:27 AM PST - 26 comments

April 9

Where did the first baby come from? ELI5 because he is.

Tiny Vat (5 years old) asked me "Where did the first baby come from?". I want to give him a very short age-appropriate answer that will set him up to understand evolution later. I am not too thrilled with my answers so far, and am looking for other approaches to this. [more inside]
posted by Vatnesine at 10:27 PM PST - 23 comments

Looking for a new therapist for Autistic Teen

We are looking for a new therapist for our mid-teenage year old autistic son who also has mental health struggles. His therapist retired recently. Our fantasy is that there is a therapist who has a concentration on autistic teens and young adults that would make a good fit for him for the next 5 to 10 years, but are open minded. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 10:12 PM PST - 3 comments

Galaxy s9 to s21 frustration

With my s9 I could press the "home" icon on the always on screen to wake the phone up. With the s21 I can't figure out how to set it the same way. *super pout* *hope me*
posted by one4themoment at 7:05 PM PST - 5 comments

At a crossroads in my life and trying to figure out grad school, career

I work in the biotech industry, specifically pharmaceutical process development, with a B.S. I'm looking to take a step up in my career through grad school, but it's been several years since I've been to school and I have no idea how to approach preparing for applications, requirements, finances, etc. Looking either for direct advice, or if someone could point me to a career/college counselor to hold my hand through this. [more inside]
posted by picklenickle at 7:03 PM PST - 6 comments

Which non-Apple smartwatch or band to get?

My wife likes to go out for walks to get her 10,000 daily steps during these days of our pandemic. She's been using a tracker on her iPhone 7 but I'm thinking of getting her a smart-watch/band.What should I get her? [more inside]
posted by signal at 6:24 PM PST - 12 comments

Did I screw up my Covid vaccination by taking Advil a few days later?

I got my second dose of the Pfizer vaccine on a Saturday morning. I took a huge amount of Advil the following Tuesday chasing the worst headache of my life. Did I screw up or was it far enough out that I’ll be okay? [more inside]
posted by liet at 5:39 PM PST - 11 comments

Please tell me what Mac laptop to buy!

My 9-year old MacBook Air is finally giving up the ghost, so I need to buy a new laptop. I think at this point I’m inclined to just stay in the Mac ecosystem even though I know there are plenty of great Windows laptops out there. Can you please tell me which Mac laptop to get and what specifications to get (amount of memory, etc.)? [more inside]
posted by aka burlap at 5:25 PM PST - 8 comments

Where can I buy ethically made arty tees?

I love tee shirts with an allover abstract pattern. My favorites are from Uniqlos art tee lines, but I won't buy from them because they use slave labor to produce their cotton. I don't want to buy them used either. Can you recommend a company that's even slightly more ethical that makes similar shirts? Thanks!
posted by chaiminda at 3:56 PM PST - 7 comments

I'm in the doghouse with Zuckerberg and don't know why

I just got a Facebook notification that says "independent fact-checkers at Science Feedback say information in your post is missing context and could mislead people. We've added a notice to your post." Does anybody know how to figure out which post?? [more inside]
posted by kate4914 at 3:42 PM PST - 7 comments

Fancy desserts for 2?

I used to give extra desserts away to neighbors but since we’re not out of the woods with Covid yet I’d love recommendations of 1- or 2-serving desserts that take prep, don’t leave leftovers and have multiple ingredients.
posted by rogerroger at 3:04 PM PST - 24 comments

Pet Shed Control Shampoos

Have you found dog shed control shampoos to have any significant effect? I’m not expecting miracles but a noticeable reduction in shedding would be nice.
posted by Aranquis at 2:52 PM PST - 5 comments

songs about being happy to be alive that SOUND like being happy?

One of my favorite songs like this is Good Day by Luce. What other songs are about just being happy to be alive, that really SOUND like just being happy? [more inside]
posted by kristi at 2:38 PM PST - 56 comments

Second COVID vaccine appointment at different location from the first?

I got my first shot at a very inconvenient location hours away. I just got a new appointment at a much closer site, but I got it from a general webpage that is geared toward first appointments, when this is actually for my second shot. How to handle? [more inside]
posted by Mid at 2:12 PM PST - 12 comments

Help me explain this to a white person

I am mixed race and when talking about a conflict with my mother, the white person I was talking to said "have you considered that this might be a cultural issue? I don't know much about (specific culture), but from what I heard (cliché they heard on tv, though not necessarily wrong)." [more inside]
posted by Omnomnom at 1:04 PM PST - 31 comments

Getting the most out of a house showing (as a buyer)

I will be looking at a house tomorrow that I am very interested in. How can I make the most out of the showing, in order to make the most informed decision possible on whether to make an offer? [more inside]
posted by nowadays at 12:10 PM PST - 30 comments

Windows PDF software that does OCR

I am transitioning to a PC from over a decade in Mac world, and I need a PDF tool to replace Apple's Preview app. Specific needs are the ability to print a document to PDF (especially from web browsers and Microsoft Office), to print as a text PDF (my understanding is that Windows Print to PDF does not capture the text layer, it just prints as an image), and the ability to OCR PDFs that do not have a text layer. I'm willing to pay if needed, but I'm not willing to do a subscription.
posted by philosophygeek at 10:41 AM PST - 10 comments

Writer needs help make word email message to man who pay money

For a few months now, I've had a gig doing freelance writing for a music PR firm at $30/ hr (every assignment comes out to be $45 for an interview and press release). I had planned to ask about a raise after 6 months, which is now, but a couple other things have come up now money-wise. I'd like some help figuring out how to approach this in the most straightforward way. [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe at 10:32 AM PST - 8 comments

What haircut should I get, queer masc edition

In slightly less than two weeks I will be fully vaccinated and able to get my first haircut since early March 2020. Questions within. [more inside]
posted by Frowner at 10:00 AM PST - 8 comments

Help me enjoy my outdoor space please. I hate bugs.

I finally moved and now have a beautiful outdoor space in Essex County, NJ. Please help me enjoy it. The scary thing is it is a lot of space. A front porch and yard area. An upper and lower deck, and a wooded area in the back. I've seen deer, turkey, cats, a gopher... I also want to beautify it and have a garden. But I am also scared of bugs. [more inside]
posted by mokeydraws at 9:57 AM PST - 13 comments

Help me help my mother do her history homework

My mother is a woman in her 70s who's a member of Hadassah (an organization of American Jewish women), has been asked to do a presentation for their next big regional (online) meeting. She's been asked to present specifically about accomplishments of American Jewish women in the 20th Century, but her ability to do research is limited. [more inside]
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 9:34 AM PST - 14 comments

Black bean soup recipe for ---ONE CAN OF BEANS---

I'm looking for an at least vaguely-Cuban recipe for black bean soup that makes just one or two lunches. [more inside]
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 8:27 AM PST - 5 comments

post-vaccination back to normal, but with kids

So maybe things are finally looking up again. People seem to be getting vaccinated, and that's letting people look ahead to a post-vaccination world that might be close to normal: dining out, traveling, etc. But so far the vaccines are only for adults. What does this mean for people with kids? [more inside]
posted by kevinbelt at 8:15 AM PST - 28 comments

Seeking better home office audio...what am I looking for?

I would like to improve the audio in my home office from old computer speakers to something richer. I'm not even sure what product I'm looking for. Help? [more inside]
posted by mcstayinskool at 8:08 AM PST - 16 comments

Today's home-buying question: Closing costs vs. higher price?

We are also trying to buy a house in a hot seller's market. Many houses are selling above list price, and some of them for above appraisal. I have a few questions. Let's say we can afford to either higher monthly payment (than the list price would amount to), or some amount of cash out closing (or maybe both). What are the pros and cons of a higher offer for the house price (and thus mortgage) vs. paying more for closing costs? And can any closing costs be rolled into the mortgage? [more inside]
posted by NotLost at 8:06 AM PST - 4 comments

Eating Up The Weird Stuff

A silver lining in being cooped up for a year is that I am finally making headway in eating through the things in my overstuffed pantry and cupboard. However - I'm now getting to the really weird stuff, and could use some additional ideas. [more inside]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:15 AM PST - 53 comments

April 8

Japanese photographic tradition of leaving a print for someone to find

I remember reading about it in passing a long time ago - a photographer would make a print of his/her work, and would then just leave it in a public space for others to discover and enjoy, or even take for their own. Google has been of no help - does anyone know what this tradition is called/what I'm talking about? [more inside]
posted by rjacobs at 10:15 PM PST - 5 comments

Should I buy an M1 or intel mac book pro

My work will buy me a new laptop this month. I've used mac book pros and had good luck with them for the last 12 years (using them typically for about 6 years, though less for this current one). Given the longer battery life, faster speed, etc., and that the wrinkles with the new chip should be fixed soon, I think that I should go with one of the new apple silicone chips (discussed at length here). However, my IT department is pushing me to get a machine with an intel chip. Advice? [more inside]
posted by lab.beetle at 9:15 PM PST - 15 comments

Linguistic SF recs?

I'm looking for examples of science fiction where linguistics is the science in question, or one of them anyway. A few examples I'm already aware of (and love, thus my wanting to find more): Babel-17 by Samuel Delany, Embassytown by China Miéville, the story "Story of Your Life" by Ted Chiang (that the movie Arrival was based on), arguably aspects of Jeff VanderMeer's Southern Reach trilogy. Any SF where translation plays a major role would probably fit the bill. Qapla’!
posted by slappy_pinchbottom at 7:42 PM PST - 37 comments

Elephants on a Bridge

Mini McGee says, "I learned you can ask physics really weird questions! Like, how thick would a cardboard bridge have to be if it was over a 40-foot gap and could support the weight of an elephant?" [more inside]
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:34 PM PST - 30 comments

Different Dental costs in different states?

I have a tooth with a root canal which needs a crown and post, which are not covered by my insurance. I was told I would have to pay out of pocket, and it would cost more than a thousand dollars. My family is planning a trip to Florida later this month, and it occurred to me to wonder if it would cost less to have it done in Florida. Does anyone know what it would cost in the Fleming Island area? [more inside]
posted by bunky at 6:49 PM PST - 4 comments

What to do about Facebook breach?

I changed my FB password, and I already have data monitoring. Is there anything else to do? [more inside]
posted by Former Congressional Representative Lenny Lemming at 6:41 PM PST - 4 comments

How should I store Tupperware?

My household has battled our Tupperware storage solution for years. We're not sure why it's so hard to find a product that works. is. Help me find something that won't drive us bananas, with lids flying everywhere. [more inside]
posted by knile at 6:34 PM PST - 19 comments

Aging parents and a tax collector walk into an ADU...

We want to have my parents move on to our property as they are aging and needing more help these days. They want to build an attached ADU on our property. What tax implications does this have? [more inside]
posted by teamnap at 6:23 PM PST - 4 comments

Tonight on Should I Eat It: Corn Meal.

So I was digging through my over-the-fridge cabinet of baking related stuff, and all the way in the back I found a mostly full bag of forgotten corn meal. I saw it and thought maybe I could make corn bread or something. But what gives me pause and sent me to Ask is I noticed on the bag "Use By Aug 02 2012". The cornmeal inside looks ok, no bugs or anything. Should I turn it into food, or toss it in the trash?
posted by fings at 5:44 PM PST - 17 comments

I like arthouse cinema and my girlfriend is blind. What should we watch?

Last week we watched Before Sunrise, and she liked it enough to be willing to watch the sequels. Before that we watched My Dinner With Andre, and I think she found it daunting but didn't complain. She's very accommodating and watches whatever I put on, but I'd like to find things we can equally enjoy. I know she's interested in those films with alternate audio tracks for the visually impaired. Any thoughts are welcome, and extra points for recommendations I can stream on the Criterion app. Also, she's not 100% blind. She's about 20/240 with glasses and mostly colorblind.
posted by jwhite1979 at 3:57 PM PST - 5 comments

Running on pavement

I want to try couch to 5k, but I live in the middle of a city and really do not want to drive anywhere for excercise because that has always reduced my motivation to zero. I have good running shoes. Will I ruin my knees by running on pavement?
posted by Omnomnom at 2:45 PM PST - 14 comments

How do you listen (when you’re shy)?

I’m a shy and somewhat socially anxious person. I have realized that sometimes it’s difficult for me to carry on a conversation because I’m so caught up worrying what the other person is thinking of me that I lose track of what’s said, or only hear it at a superficial level. How can I make this better? [more inside]
posted by robertthebruce at 2:42 PM PST - 8 comments

Whole house electrical rewiring - what to do at same time?

We will need to rewire our whole house in the near future. Are there other smart projects we should consider doing at the same time? [more inside]
posted by Xalf at 1:07 PM PST - 35 comments

Book that includes Charles and Mary Lamb

Does anyone know the name of a historical fiction novel in which the main person visits Charles and Mary Lamb frequently?
posted by mcbeitz at 12:51 PM PST - 4 comments

How do I feel less apprehensive regarding anti-anxiety medication?

Following up on this question, I did see a doctor about my anxiety (and, I guess, depression, too). After getting blood work done, I have an appointment booked with him for Friday. However, I'm suddenly feeling apprehensive towards medication. I guess it's the anxiety talking, but ugh, how do I feel better about this? I'm honestly so embarrassed that my anxiety is so bad I have to get it treated. [more inside]
posted by VirginiaPlain at 12:14 PM PST - 26 comments

Selling my car (not privately) - companies that do this?

I have a 2011 Nissan Versa with 101k miles. It's in good condition, but needs some work on the front suspension. The thought of selling it privately gives me significant anxiety, so I thought about selling through CarMax or a similar place. I'd love to hear experiences from MeFites that have sold in this manner. [more inside]
posted by sundrop at 12:00 PM PST - 20 comments

Help hare become tortoise

You were a quick, hasty, slapdash, clumsy person who walked, talked, and acted fast and often made a mess because of it. Now you're not. What were your tricks and tips that helped you transform? Bonus: any resources that celebrate the slow, the calm, the considered and the collected. [more inside]
posted by Balthamos at 10:23 AM PST - 22 comments

Looking for Neruda poem that contains "long petal of the sea"

Our book club just read Isabel Allende's novel A Long Petal of the Sea and would like to read the Neruda poem that contains the title line. [more inside]
posted by Joleta at 8:08 AM PST - 4 comments

Why does a moderate amount of vaccination not majorly cut covid rates?

If the growth is exponential, isn't even a relatively small amount of vaccination going to cut the exponent? Naively I would think that if the R value is, say, 1.1, then vaccination of 30% of the population would drop it to 0.8, which would extinguish the outbreak (or at least decrease it massively). What's going on? [more inside]
posted by wnissen at 7:54 AM PST - 19 comments

Help my friend further streamline her baking business

3D cookie cutter issue: gaps between the forms get filled with dough and it takes forever to clean them out. Looking for a magic ovensafe non-toxic substance to fill those dopey gaps. [more inside]
posted by Sheydem-tants at 7:33 AM PST - 7 comments

How does 1Password work?

I want to use 1Password, but am curious about how it may interface with my work computer. Can you help me understand how the program will work across different devices, and how it works generally? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 6:47 AM PST - 16 comments

Tea-Light and Tempered Glass - The Safe Distance Factor Question

So, I put together a tea-light tempered glass kettle warmer from 2 elements I had around, one being sterling, the stainless top being the top - they fit together like one unit. The stainless top has holes pre-drilled in circular design. Question - how close can I place the tea-light under the stainless top under the kettle without it cracking? I want the kettle to keep as hot as possible for as long as the tea-light stays lit. I need the distance to be precise and scientifically based, because this is how the production is rolling. Thank you :)
posted by watercarrier at 6:15 AM PST - 3 comments

How should I deal with shady/stupid house sellers?

I am moving to Texas and the housing market is insane. It’s a complete seller’s market with about 24 hours from listing to bids due. But after finding the “perfect” house the buying process isn’t going so perfectly. How should I proceed? [more inside]
posted by arniec at 5:45 AM PST - 27 comments

How to add an email address in Google Sheets/Excel?

I have a Google sheet with a column of data that contains a block of numbers and letters in each cell, like E4U8BN. There are hundreds of them, each representing a single person. I want to tag the same email address, as in "@email.com" at the end of each of those blocks. I could manually paste them on, but is there a way to automate this? A formula, perhaps? [more inside]
posted by zardoz at 12:49 AM PST - 9 comments

April 7

Looking for stories where characters talk about hardship

I'm looking for third-person POV stories where a character is telling another character about a difficult experience they've had in the past. [more inside]
posted by holborne at 9:04 PM PST - 12 comments

How to wean a small boy off Lego Ninjago?

Our nearly 6 year old son is really into Lego Ninjago. We hate it. What can we offer him instead that is ticks all the awesome boxes but isn't racist? [more inside]
posted by EllaEm at 8:05 PM PST - 37 comments

Should I end this friendship?

I have a friend that sometimes takes weeks to respond and reply to my text messages and sometimes they forget to reply. Lately, I have been feeling ignored and I am not sure if I should simply end the friendship or wait it out. I have confronted my friend about it, but they said that they were sorry but too busy to reply and needed to focus on their studies. [more inside]
posted by RearWindow at 6:48 PM PST - 29 comments

How do I turn my PC into an alarm clock that plays a playlist?

I have Groove music playlists and VLC playlists. How can I set up my PC so that it'll play a specified playlist at a designated wakeup time? Would it be possible to set it to random play?
posted by storybored at 5:32 PM PST - 3 comments

Um, how do I give a s*** again?

Basically I've gone totally numb due to the usual depression reasons. I'm also exhausted. Need to hear ideas how to reverse course without overwhelming myself. Content warning: lots of anger. [more inside]
posted by coffeeand at 5:28 PM PST - 41 comments

Applying for a job via governmentjobs.com

Have you successfully gotten a job (or interview) via governmentjobs.com? It's a standard form where you input your job and education experience, and then a separate page of specific questions from the place you're applying. I'm wondering if it's a good move to also upload a resume and cover letter, because my job history is unconventional and I feel like I could explain myself better in a way that a string of unrelated jobs does not. But do they look at these? Any advice for looking good via this system? [more inside]
posted by misoramen at 4:49 PM PST - 6 comments

Opening old Macwrite files

Ok, so this one is a challenge. I hear it's tougher than time-travel. I'm hoping someone has done it. Old Macwrite and Appleworks files. How can I open them? [more inside]
posted by vivzan at 3:23 PM PST - 9 comments

My nth question about cat ownership

I would like a pet cat so much, but I have overwhelming anxiety about biting the bullet and going ahead with it. [more inside]
posted by unicorn chaser at 2:55 PM PST - 40 comments

Animated short film featuring snails...

A friend of mine happens to have two of them, and is quite fond of the duo. I would like to surprise her with a video of there's, which is creative, maybe even a bit funny, but definitely emotionally stirring for her to watch--something along the lines of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbph3Uj-W5k Thanks!
posted by hadjiboy at 2:36 PM PST - 16 comments

Half-baked

I just (5 minutes ago) put a loaf of banana bread in the oven, which is supposed to bake for a little under an hour. I suddenly realized that I have to leave for an important appointment in 30 minutes. What should I do with the banana bread? Take it out now? Wait until I'm about to leave, take it out and then re-bake for like 20 minutes later? Hope me!!
posted by btfreek at 1:48 PM PST - 10 comments

What counts as Covid vaccine certification?

I'm double dose vaccinated and did so through New York City. I got the card with the dates and the lot number of my doses, but is this really considered a "certification" of vaccination? A handwritten card? [more inside]
posted by archimago at 1:10 PM PST - 18 comments

How to steer your own mental health journey?

After nearly two years of pretty intense instability, I finally feel stable and can look for new / better support. But without much in the way of diagnosis or explanation, how do I figure out what I'm looking for from therapy next and what modalities to use? [more inside]
posted by internet of pillows at 1:00 PM PST - 4 comments

Keycaps for obscure William Gibson novel heroines?

Some years ago, I was impressed by a William Gibson character's laptop: it had one-of-a-kind turquoise inlay. If high-quality handmade keyboards set with semiprecious stones exist, they're out of my price range. But the world is full of custom keycaps for mechanical keyboards! Do you have a favorite source for artistic or handmade keycaps?
posted by yarntheory at 12:59 PM PST - 4 comments

How much better are dual-inverter window AC units?

I have a window AC unit in my bedroom that is fairly quiet when running, but often wakes me up when the compressor kicks in. It's a small room and the current AC is somewhat oversized, which I know is part of the problem here. Will a smaller, dual-inverter unit actually help me? More details within. [more inside]
posted by Jobst at 12:44 PM PST - 4 comments

Vaccines and communicability.

I wish to know if one can be fully vaccinated and past all the vaccine milestones and still spread a disease. Obviously if I touch a puddle of Covid or breathe in a breath full of Covid I can spread Covid that way, but can my body (in general) still spread it through snot and whatever?
posted by Evilspork at 12:37 PM PST - 14 comments

Justification for arresting George Floyd

What reason do the police give for arresting George Floyd to begin with? At that point they had heard he had passed a fake bill, which is not illegal. [more inside]
posted by LonnieK at 12:35 PM PST - 5 comments

Tishaura Jones

The city of St. Louis elected a new mayor via non-partisan voting. This article says that voters "residents can vote for as many candidates as they want in municipal primaries". So is this also a form of ranked voting? [more inside]
posted by falsedmitri at 11:47 AM PST - 3 comments

On-call dog sitting? Is this a thing?

At some indeterminate point in July, I will allegedly give birth to a human child. This is nice. However, I am having serious anxiety over some logistical questions about the actual process, the most pressing of which (don't judge!) is: how the eff do I find someone to look after my dogs if I don't know when or for how long I will be in hospital? Surely this is a solved problem....but my pregnancy-addled brain cannot figure it out. [more inside]
posted by Dorinda at 11:35 AM PST - 17 comments

Does My Dream Scheduler Exist?

Here is my dream scheduler/planning tool: I load a bunch of modular tasks (4 x 15 minute blocks of doing this, 3 x 30 minute blocks of doing that, etc.) into a virtual hopper. Working around whatever set appointments I have, it serves them up to me one-by-one, with me either accepting (and completing) or marking pass, which will cause them to come up later. Is this a thing? [more inside]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:25 AM PST - 5 comments

So I Threw My Phone in Anger. Now What?

(This post mentions Covid but is not about Covid.) Today, during a stressful phone conversation, I threw my phone in anger and broke it. Nobody was present, I did not harm anyone, and I do not plan to harm anyone. Please suggest ways I can cope with the aftermath of this situation. The direct issues have been resolved, so I am seeking advice for longer-term coping strategies and insight about my mental state. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 10:43 AM PST - 20 comments

What is this tool for supporting a headless computer called?

I’m looking for a particular device that I’m sure exists but for which I don’t know the name, and my googling has failed (I am not good at google sometimes). Its purpose is to provide a “temporary head” for a headless computer. It looks like a laptop but is essentially a small monitor and a keyboard that can be connected to a headless computer to temporarily give it a head so you can poke around on it. Do you know what this thing is? Did I dream it? Thanks!
posted by Going To Maine at 9:43 AM PST - 9 comments

Do you have experience dealing with your health ins "Care team"?

My job's health insurance has one of these "Care teams" who purport to provide you with a personal contact & concierge support with claim issues, etc. Given that the concept of health insurance is pure theft, what kind of horrible trick are they trying to play here? Would I actually get anything out of this arrangement or is a trap? [more inside]
posted by bleep at 9:14 AM PST - 17 comments

Deleting contacts of people who have passed away?

When (if ever) do you delete contacts of people who have passed away? [more inside]
posted by Dip Flash at 9:06 AM PST - 28 comments

yoga makes me homicidal. what else helps flexibility & balance?

My doctor told me I'd better figure out a yoga practice, or I'll be sorry in just a few years. I think she means I need something for flexibility and balance, and I agree, 100%. But skinny ladies telling me to hold uncomfortable poses, and think calm thoughts and visualize or whatever, drive me into a hulk-smash rage. What else can I try? [more inside]
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:19 AM PST - 38 comments

Looking for a new therapist

I'm looking for a therapist in NY state that (a) is female, (b) is an LCSW, (c) offers teletherapy, and (d) is accepting new patients. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 6:25 AM PST - 4 comments

Should I do a humanities PhD? Or find a way to make research my hobby?

I studied STEM for the earning potential and career options. After half a decade of professional work (which I genuinely enjoyed and excelled in) I'm now in a humanities MA and love it. But I’m not sure if I want to do a PhD. If I do: what's the best way to prepare and be competitive for a top program (to later have a shot at an academic job?) If I don't: how can I bring the best parts of humanities academia into my life as a side hobby/passion? [more inside]
posted by w-w-w at 6:19 AM PST - 24 comments

Are pharmacy price lists available?

What's the easiest way to find out what a bunch of different drugstore and grocery store chains will charge for a specific med? Insurance doesn't cover it, so I'm looking at the out-of-pocket cost, which seems to vary wildly from place to place. I don't just want to know who has a general reputation for being cheap — I only care about this one med. Am I stuck showing up and trying to fill it a bunch of different places, or is there a way to do price research ahead of time?
posted by nebulawindphone at 4:47 AM PST - 11 comments

Can I complain to Deliveroo UK without the driver being punished?

I recently made a Deliveroo food order (in the UK) that took over three hours to arrive instead of the estimated 45-60 minutes. It took so long I was able to order and finish eating a Dominos pizza by the time it actually got here. If I complain to Deliveroo about a very late delivery, will the driver be punished even though the delay was due to the restaurant? [more inside]
posted by EndsOfInvention at 3:40 AM PST - 6 comments

April 6

Where do restriction enzymes come from?

When doing DNA recombination, how do people select what restriction enzymes to use? Is there like, a catalog of restriction enzymes I can look at and pick the right ones? [more inside]
posted by wesleyac at 10:51 PM PST - 3 comments

What did you put on your wedding registry?

We don't care about china and we have enough towels and kitchen gadgets. What should we register for? What did YOU register for that you are so glad you did? What would you register for if you could do it again?
posted by ohsnapdragon at 6:59 PM PST - 55 comments

Can I do this in Excel, or another program?

I'm trying to create some formatting in Excel so that a cell can be highlighted with a click to show what each person is working on. Kind of like an extended office In/Out board. I've got some VBA set up, but it's only allowing me one highlighted cell in the whole range and I want each row (person) to have its own highlighted cell. [more inside]
posted by mefireader at 6:28 PM PST - 3 comments

FIV+ cat with voluminous excretions - help!

Lady Gefilte and I have been fostering a wee FIV+ feline fuzzball from our local humane society. He came to us about 3 months ago with a florid upper respiratory infection and ongoing diarrhea. Fast forward until today, and not a whole lot has changed in terms of the various bodily fluids he's ejecting on a daily basis. Is this normal for him? Has anyone had a similar situation? [more inside]
posted by greatgefilte at 5:51 PM PST - 14 comments

Pokemon, no so much Go

I got my 6-year-old into Pokemon Go, because I want to walk, and want to find a way to make walking fun for him (previously and previouslier). But it seems like when we play there's very little walking. We step out of the house, spend 5 minutes catching Pokemon, then walk the the next Pokemon, which are a half-block-away, then 5 more minutes of video games, and so on. Am I missing something? Is there a way to incorporate more walking?
posted by ManInSuit at 4:22 PM PST - 25 comments

Help me pal around with a new big brother (age 2)

My friends have a 2 year old and another baby on the way. I am the lucky friend who will get the call when it's time for mom & dad to go to the hospital and I get to hang out with the 2 year old. Yay! What are some cool books or gifts that might help my little buddy feel great about becoming a big brother?
posted by wowenthusiast at 3:45 PM PST - 10 comments

Becoming a shrink: Affordable (online?) MSW programs

1. Can you recommend affordable/accredited/respectable MSW programs that are either online or within ~60 miles of Providence? 2. LMHC just as good as MSW if I want to be a clinician? 3. Do online masters suck (MSWs in particular)? I took an online graduate course last year and the discussion board requirements drove me a little bonkers. [more inside]
posted by AlmondEyes at 3:10 PM PST - 10 comments

Excise my parenting shame?

I have small kids who are both very strong-willed and tantrum prone. When they're having challenging behaviors, I'm constantly imagining how people would judge our parenting and then feeling defensive or guilty or just exhausted, which is both unenjoyable and makes handling the behavior harder for me. Any good books or blogs or other media that flip that perspective to help me acknowledge that parenting is harder for us than other people and we're doing our best? [more inside]
posted by Gravel at 2:24 PM PST - 16 comments

Did MeFi have a thread about the Zolamoon Florida story?

This 2015 Twitter thread is being made into a movie. I thought The Blue was where I first saw it, but I can’t find that thread. Did MeFi cover that years ago, or is my memory wrong?
posted by Monochrome at 1:07 PM PST - 2 comments

What can I make with almond butter?

I need to eat almond butter to maintain a tolerance and prevent allergy. Besides almond butter on toast, mixed in to oatmeal/yogurt/smoothie, what else can I make? I’d like to find some recipes to diversify my almond butter intake. [more inside]
posted by stillmoving at 12:33 PM PST - 31 comments

Work from Home - Ergonomic desk/chair, Small Space edition

Help me find an ergonomic work from home desk/chair for a small space that isn't ugly. [more inside]
posted by Space Kitty at 10:38 AM PST - 13 comments

checklist for care of bed-bound patient

all of a sudden, I'm a caregiver. I need a list. [more inside]
posted by fingersandtoes at 10:18 AM PST - 12 comments

Release the peach

I'm a reasonably fit male-bodied person carting around a bit more in the saddle, especially after a year of pandemic quarantine. I like short and fitting running shorts, but I'm looking for something with a more forgiving elastic waistband. All the ones I've tried are seemingly meant for dudes with bony twentysomething midsections. Options? [more inside]
posted by mykescipark at 10:15 AM PST - 3 comments

service that takes a text playlist and lets anyone listen to the songs?

Is there a service anywhere that will take a text playlist and play the songs, letting anyone can listen, even without an account? [more inside]
posted by kristi at 9:20 AM PST - 1 comment

What are some of the lowest ABV cocktails one can easily order at a bar?

I'm looking for low-alcohol drink orders that any bartender could make - think of drinks that net out to something really light, like 2-3% ABV after all is said and done, and you can drink six of them and feel pleasantly buzzed rather than wasted. [more inside]
posted by windbox at 8:42 AM PST - 28 comments

Slim wallet to hold +/- 16 cards and US cash.

I'm in need of a new wallet. I'm not, realistically, going to be able to carry fewer than about 16 cards and some bills. I'd like something relatively small to put in a front pants pocket. A search for "slim" wallets (or similar) reveals wallets designed for people who carry like fewer than 6 cards, which is not me. What do you recommend?
posted by gauche at 8:28 AM PST - 27 comments

Is it healthy that my friends and I all struggle with trauma?

I have CPTSD and OCD, and recently realized that all of my closest friends struggle with trauma and other mental health issues. We have healthy boundaries, open communication, and plenty of other shared interests beyond our mental health/trauma similarities, but I'm worried that I'm unknowingly perpetuating toxic dynamics. Is it okay to have close, (hopefully) lifelong friendships with others who are also trauma survivors? How do I figure out if it's healthy or not? [more inside]
posted by runnerfive at 8:17 AM PST - 18 comments

Help Me Get Unstuck in the Job Hunt

Searching for a job sucks in any situation, never mind a pandemic. Help me think about job options and strategies for not losing heart. [more inside]
posted by Definitely Not A Robot at 8:00 AM PST - 4 comments

Is there a financial limit to pet care? How do you make this decision?

Between our two cats we've had so many health issues, procedures and financial expenditures over the last year. How do we decide when enough is enough even when they are still relatively young and happy? [more inside]
posted by rbf1138 at 7:27 AM PST - 14 comments

Taught not Learned: Correcting Someone Else's Word Choice

My neighbor, for whom English is a foreign language, confuses "learned" with "taught". For example, yesterday she told me that she "learned [her son] how to tie his shoe laces". This is a common error for her in otherwise quite good English. [more inside]
posted by Pineapplicious at 6:10 AM PST - 38 comments

HDMI Why?! laptop to TV resolution problems

I have a new laptop which can finally play newish games. I'd like to hook it up to my TV, but when I do (via HDMI) the display options (Windows 10) sees the TV screen (screen 2 in windows) as 800 x 600 and the resolution is terrible. The same happens whether I duplicate or extend screen, and when it is connected, the option to change the display resolution is greyed out for screen 2 (my TV). Any ideas? [more inside]
posted by sedimentary_deer at 5:39 AM PST - 12 comments

Let's see some tracker apps!

I've been using an app called Marine Traffic to see which ships are coming into my city's port and track where they go, and last night I discovered an app called Shark Tracker by Osearch that lets you see the locations of tagged sharks. What other apps are out there for tracking things? [more inside]
posted by christinetheslp at 5:09 AM PST - 18 comments

Ideas for a bath footrest

When I'm in the bath, I like to sometimes keep my feet out of the tub for a few reasons, but mainly so they dont get too wrinkly. I'd like a footrest that goes across my tub (similar to the caddy I already have) but I haven't been able to find anything on the internet to fit my needs. So it looks like I need to get creative! Help! [more inside]
posted by LizBoBiz at 1:53 AM PST - 10 comments

April 5

Receiving the COVID vaccine in both arms (per dose), or only one arm?

I've seen mixed messages about if I should get the vaccine dose in one arm for both doses, or switch arms for each dose, so what do you recommend? [more inside]
posted by dubious_dude at 7:16 PM PST - 18 comments

Help with bike decisions for a casual rider

I could use some help dealing with my bike situation. Casual rider, crappy bike, frequent suffering. Do I buy a new one or try to fix the one I have? [more inside]
posted by ghostbikes at 5:52 PM PST - 18 comments

friends who dance together

What are some examples of platonic dance scenes in film and tv? [more inside]
posted by colorblock sock at 4:44 PM PST - 41 comments

Tips for dealing with constant anger?

I've had a lot of bad things that have happened to me within the last few years, a lot of them having to do with toxic relationships. I still repeat a lot of the incidents over again in my head and I cannot stop feeling angry. [more inside]
posted by sheepishchiffon at 4:38 PM PST - 19 comments

this tiktok but MORE

Looking for the cinematic inspirations / parody source material for this tiktok * heartrending music * father/son poetic emotional confrontation?? * magical realism?? I feel like The Leftovers is a great starting point but I need more. Thanks!
posted by snerson at 4:15 PM PST - 1 comment

Windows, Stop Scaling, Please

Hi All, I have a cloud gaming PC which is very pleasant to use in most respects, except for one particularly nagging issue. Every time I connect to it, presumably using VNC or some similar technology, Windows has scaled the display to 200%, as this is "recommended." How can I stop it from doing so? [more inside]
posted by Alensin at 4:08 PM PST - 4 comments

What to do with this old car?

I have a 2009 Ford Escape with an intermittent loss of power steering due to an electrical issue. There was a recall, but Ford won’t fix it anymore. My local trusted shop is saying that it’s going to cost 2200-2700. It’s worth around 4500. I have already bought a new car to replace it. What to do? [more inside]
posted by rockindata at 2:08 PM PST - 9 comments

Sanding outer (non-lead) paint, but inner layers might contain lead?

I live in an old house, and I have some spots on my window trim where I've used wood filler to fill in small holes. I need to lightly sand down the wood filler so that I can touch up these small spots. I've confirmed that the outer layer of paint is not lead-based. However, I strongly suspect the layers underneath are lead based. My question is would I potentially be releasing lead dust by lightly sanding the small areas where the wood filler is located?
posted by boygeorge at 2:07 PM PST - 6 comments

Sanity check re possible inappropriate touching by my mother

This has been gnawing at me for the last 30 years or so. I've thought about it from time to time but it has only been in the last week or so that I've really sat down and thought about it. [tw: possibly inappropriate touching] [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 2:03 PM PST - 35 comments

Alternatives to Goat-to-Meeting

A few months back, my company did a zoom call with a "goat-to-meeting" (or a very similar org) which is a humorous team event where a farm joins the zoom and you get to meet the animals and ask questions. They had alpacas and tortoises and other unusual rescue animals. It was a huge hit and we are now looking to do a spring team event and would like to find something as interesting and funny. Do any of you recommend any other quirky team meeting things like goat-to-meeting? Also open to any ideas for zoom team meetings that are not trivia, bingo, or stand-up comedy. Thank you!
posted by archivist at 12:48 PM PST - 9 comments

How do I find a better tech job?

I've had a string of bad tech jobs. Mostly consulting. This last one I decided to keep my head down, not complain and even did my due diligence in asking former employees what they thought. It is absolutely horrible and I've seen work environments get progressively worse. [more inside]
posted by geoff. at 11:51 AM PST - 8 comments

Monk for a Month? Specific places?

I'd like to step deeply into a different spiritual place for a few weeks in November in East Asia -- What specific venues take in foreigners who want to be amateur, yet dedicated practitioners? [more inside]
posted by jander03 at 11:43 AM PST - 8 comments

What can I graft onto my out-of-control cherry tree rootstock?

I have a cherry tree . The scion died awhile back, but the rootstock has gone completely bananas. I hate to get rid of it completely... [more inside]
posted by jquinby at 10:36 AM PST - 3 comments

What is this?

We were given this item as a small thank-you gift for our volunteer work, and I'm grateful for it, but I cannot figure out what it does. [more inside]
posted by davcoo at 10:25 AM PST - 12 comments

WAKE ME UP INSIDE

Googling has claimed this impossible, but... Do any of you have any tips for waking up during a bout of sleep paralysis? Or at least successfully calming yourself down during it / continuing your sleep without forcing yourself to wake up? How? [more inside]
posted by blueberrypuffin at 10:23 AM PST - 16 comments

What can I do with soaked roasted cashews?

I frequently make cashew cream based condiments by soaking raw cashews and then blending them (I use this recipe). Unfortunately, last night I set some up to soak only to later realize I had grabbed my bag of roasted cashews instead. My understanding is that it’s important to use raw because roasted has a strong cashew flavor instead of a neutral flavor. Is there something I can make with the soaked roasted ones? Maybe something more dessert-like, that wouldn’t be weird to have cashew flavor in? Restrictions - vegan, otherwise very flexible. Please help me save my cashews.
posted by nevernines at 10:07 AM PST - 14 comments

Router extender appearing on wi-fi list as unsecured

Should I be concerned about this? [more inside]
posted by ragtimepiano at 9:06 AM PST - 15 comments

Is it strange if most of the windows in a house don't open?

We're going to be replacing all of the 30-ish windows in our house. I'd like to make most of them fixed/inoperable. Is this a bad idea, especially in terms of resale? [more inside]
posted by ClaireBear at 8:49 AM PST - 73 comments

What's going on with the second COVID shot?

I'm due to get the 2nd Covid shot soon (TEAM PHIZER) and have been warned that I should count on feeling sick for a day or two afterwards. Why is that? I've read various explanations, but it's not making logical sense to me, can you break it down for me, real simple like? [more inside]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:38 AM PST - 14 comments

Good men's underwear without brand name on the waistband?

I think underwear that is an advertisement via the brand name being splashed on the waistband is super lame. Unfortunately, it's also ubiquitous, at least for anything of decent quality. Please help me find boxer briefs that are comfortable and stylish without having a big logo on them. My go-to for a long time has been Banana Republic's boxer briefs, but I'm trying to get away from doing unpaid product placement for them (or anyone else) every day.
posted by Mechitar at 8:35 AM PST - 10 comments

how to find a specific party on social media?

I need tips and advice how to find a specific party on social media. More after the jump - [more inside]
posted by mirileh at 8:30 AM PST - 5 comments

Self-contained shower cabin/pod - pros & cons

Hello, We are UK-based and considering changing our shower and have seen the self-contained shower cabins but a salesperson put us off the idea because he said they were unhygienic. We only want something basic but most importantly easy to clean as that is the main attraction for us for the self-contained units. So are these unhygienic or are there other disadvantages we should be aware of? Secondary question - are frameless showers easier to clean than normal quadrant ones for example? Many thanks
posted by empedia at 8:27 AM PST - 1 comment

After Docker, what container platform?

We have been fooling around with containers at work. Docker got kind of gutted by Mirantis last year. What should we use instead before we go big with migrating from whole VMs? [more inside]
posted by wenestvedt at 7:57 AM PST - 7 comments

Reunited at the end of the world.

I want a playlist of songs that reference or describe being reunited with a (former) lover at the end of the world. Do you have suggestions? [more inside]
posted by mixedmetaphors at 7:44 AM PST - 19 comments

Pan Am-iversary

Looking for help with my parent's 50th Anniversary gift. They met when they were seated next to each other on the first Pan Am 747 flight from the mainland to Hawaii. [more inside]
posted by BeeDo at 7:30 AM PST - 16 comments

How does one go about hiring someone to build a new deck?

We just moved into a new home (Half Moon Bay, CA) and it has an enormous deck which is affected by dry rot and is definitely coming to the end of its life. We would like to replace it with a new one that will look great and last a very long time. What does this process look like? What kind of companies and professionals should we be looking to engage with? Searching Yelp etc has made me feel like I need a bit more guidance as to the fundamentals of what is involved here. How do we find someone really good for this?
posted by simonw at 7:11 AM PST - 10 comments

Best program(s) for a complete beginner to compose music?

Lately I've been obsessed with the idea of writing music and creating an album, even though I don't play an instrument and don't have any musical background of which to speak. Have been tinkering with Guitar Pro and making a tiny bit of progress but I'm wondering whether it's the best app to invest my time in. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by jzb at 5:53 AM PST - 13 comments

Divorcing, living separately - for medicaid, must our taxes be "MFS"?

My (ex)-partner and I started getting divorced in 2019, and it just got cleared by the court in early 2021. For all of 2020, we were living separately, but still legally married. Our incomes are very different - they have very, very little income, and I am comfortable (and yes, paying support!). Because of their income, when they applied for separate health insurance, they were put on medicaid. As we're planning to file our 2020 taxes, it makes financial sense to file "Married Filing Jointly", but we really, really don't want them to become ineligible for Medicaid. It seems like filing together but living separately is a grey area (slide 39) for the gov't, and may be up to the states or counties. We're in New York State (and City). Not sure whether to take the financial hit and go "Married Filing Separately" or if we're safe filing jointly this last time.
posted by anonymous at 4:07 AM PST - 7 comments

Buying a Japanese pop song

I want to buy and download the song by Fujifabric that's the intro to the Dr. Stone anime second season (video here, mobile link) in mp3 format. Amazon doesn't have it, I am in the US, how can I buy this?
posted by Rufous-headed Towhee heehee at 1:05 AM PST - 3 comments

April 4

How can I get soft serve from SF to LA by car without ruining it?

This may be a fool's errand but it's worth a shot. A friend's favorite ice cream is at Milk Cow in the bay area. They live in LA. IS there any way to put it in a cooler and keep it for five or so hours for the drive? Crazy ideas welcomed.
posted by rileyray3000 at 11:28 PM PST - 17 comments

Cross Border Vaccination

As a US citizen living in Canada can I go to the US to get vaccinated? [more inside]
posted by miles1972 at 8:52 PM PST - 33 comments

Shampoo for oily hair - I feel like I've tried everything

I am seeking any recommendations for shampoo for my oily hair. Does this product exist? [more inside]
posted by sundrop at 6:36 PM PST - 15 comments

Suggestions for Reasonably-Priced Teaching Cameras Needed

I am excited to teach some teens how to make beautiful photographs, but I need the gear to get them started. I'm looking for point-and-shoot cameras that offer "real" controls and quality images, at a price that allows the purchase of multiple units. [more inside]
posted by credible hulk at 4:32 PM PST - 8 comments

How much should I worry? Oven air in face/eyes.

Blast of hot air from oven burned eyes? [more inside]
posted by nantucket at 3:37 PM PST - 10 comments

Travel to California in May

I am considering traveling to California in May to the San Francisco area. The current plan is to fly in and rent a car to drive up the coast. I seem to have read somewhere (though I can't find it now) that California was requiring a 10 day quarantine for persons arriving at the airport. I would not want to travel there if this is the case. I have been fully vaccinated and would, of course, be masked and observe all the usual precautions. What are the current restrictions? Is this trip even feasible?
posted by statusquoante at 2:41 PM PST - 10 comments

another getting published question!

I have been advised by a friend who is an editor at a publication where I submitted an essay for consideration (though not in her area) to reach out to the essays editor and inquire about the status of my submission, since it has been nearly three months and that is within the timeline of when they were planning on getting back to writers who submit. I am still new at this. How do I approach writing this email? [more inside]
posted by nayantara at 2:40 PM PST - 6 comments

Can a string taken off a guitar be used again?

I'm brand new to the guitar and my first try at restringing didn't go well. I misjudged the thickness of the B and G, and D and A, strings and ended up stringing the guitar E G B A D E. Two questions: 1) Even though the strings are out of order, am I right to assume the guitar can still be tuned properly? In that's the case the strings can just stay where they are, right? 2) If not, can I re-string the guitar with those same 4 strings, or should I buy new ones?
posted by BadgerDoctor at 1:44 PM PST - 13 comments

Injure a tooth parallel to the gum line?

My child says they have cracked their pre-molar, but looking at it I can't make heads or tails of what's happened. They say they feel no pain, it's Sunday, I've been solo parenting for over a week due to the death of my wife's father... so would any feel up to helping me problem solve? [more inside]
posted by Tchozz at 12:29 PM PST - 9 comments

claritin zyrtec allegra or...

Have you had better results with one (or its generic equivalent), especially to ease breathing at night? My partner is having respiratory troubles that wake them up in the wee hours and the current theory is allergies to tree pollen. They've started taking a 24-hour antihistamine right before bed and it seems to help the severity of the symptoms but not eliminate them. Any other advice on managing sleep, and improving air supply especially, while dealing with allergies is much appreciated.
posted by spamandkimchi at 10:31 AM PST - 30 comments

What's the Difference in Generators?

Almost six years ago, I bought a Generac XT8000 portable generator for $1300 from Lowes. It has an 7 gallon gas tank and can run for 11 hours at 50% load. Until last year, the most I ran it was a monthly, 15 minute test and occasional power outages (maybe three times a year) lasting up to or totaling, maybe 12 hours. [more inside]
posted by CollectiveMind at 8:27 AM PST - 15 comments

How do I get this possibly botched recording off my voice recorder?

I recorded an interview on my super eye voice recorder. Then I stupidly flipped the power off switch rather than the stop recording switch. The recording title appears on the tiny screen of the recorder, but won’t play, and when I plug the recorder into a MacBook the file doesn’t even appear. [more inside]
posted by The Last Sockpuppet at 8:21 AM PST - 8 comments

Fixing FM-band RFI from homebuilt desktop PC

A few months ago I built a new desktop PC that is causing FM interference with my stereo receiver setup. This interference (buzzy static) only occurs when the PC is on. I did not have this problem with my previous PC build (from 2011). I need to solve this. A few more details inside. [more inside]
posted by DarkForest at 8:11 AM PST - 7 comments

Converting 3D .glt objects?

What is the best way to convert some 3D objects that are in the .glt (GLTF) format so that I can use them as .OBJ files (or other compatible format) in Unity? [more inside]
posted by johngoren at 5:26 AM PST - 6 comments

April 3

How can a new immigrant build a network in Canada?

So, I'm moving to Canada. I'm going to Queen's University to get an MSc in Computer Science. Nonetheless, after asking around and due to several suggestions from family and friends, I've made up my mind to stay in Canada. A series of circumstances have put me in the fortuitous position of being able to apply for permanent residence almost as soon as I get over there. Needless to say, I'm new and while I've done a HUGE amount of research on everything Canadian I still don't know the lay of the land as far as jobs, money and connections go. [more inside]
posted by Tarsonis10 at 8:36 PM PST - 7 comments

Photoshop: Non-Transparent Ink and Watercolour of Watercolour Wash

I'm trying to make some images in photoshop. I want a watercolour wash and then I want some images on that background, also in watercolour. I don't want the background to bleed through the drawings on top. I want the colour on the top drawings to look like it would look if they were just drawn on a white background. How do I do this? [more inside]
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 8:28 PM PST - 6 comments

Why do my hands hurt?

My hands ache. Not a lot, but enough that I notice. Why? [more inside]
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:21 PM PST - 18 comments

Recommend a Plus Size Athletic Swimsuit

I’m getting back into swimming and need a new suit. Criteria:: must fit a US dress size 20; must have a t-back or other high back strap, not just shoulder straps. Also, one thing I don’t like about a lot of athletic suits is the thin fabric. Thicker weave or a lining would be great. Please let me know if you have one you like!
posted by Miko at 6:32 PM PST - 7 comments

help give an information-scouring brain a break, please

I use endless searching (in the Internet sense) to distract and numb difficult feelings. Like, hours every night. How can I not? [more inside]
posted by elephantsvanish at 6:30 PM PST - 14 comments

Is this 2007 Prius a good choice for me right now?

A relative is getting rid of a 2007 Prius with around 180k miles on it. The battery is fine and it's getting a dashboard computer brain transplant, but that's the only problem with it. Help me work out whether I should pursue it. [more inside]
posted by blnkfrnk at 6:25 PM PST - 17 comments

Shorter story about woman wearing an apron to church

I'm trying to remember the name of a short story about the author's mother trying to save a mountain woman named Mrs Hunter from the embarrassment of wearing an apron to church. Possibly a Eudora Weltly story?
posted by mcbeitz at 6:09 PM PST - 2 comments

Did I kill this laptop?

I have an asus ux501vx. I replaced a defunct fan, now it has no signs of life. [more inside]
posted by a robot made out of meat at 5:17 PM PST - 9 comments

Is anyone satisfied with the “clean one room a day” method?

Mr, Terrier and I are deep-cleaning our house for Easter, and I’m finding it daunting. Does the one-a-day method work for you? [more inside]
posted by BostonTerrier at 2:36 PM PST - 15 comments

Roof leaks, insurance, and chimneys

The flashing around the chimney on my 100-year-old three-story house has apparently been leaking for some time, resulting in a bunch of interior damage. Two questions below the fold: (1) what should I know about working with USAA home insurance, as far as what work gets done and who pays for it? (2) Should I remove or repair the chimney? [more inside]
posted by john hadron collider at 1:45 PM PST - 5 comments

Big in Bucharest

Is there a way to find out what artists were bootlegged and popular during the Cold War and where? Were different artists circulated via mix tape in one area vs another? Lasting influences or popularity? Time frame 1975 - 1990. I'm already aware of the x-ray records in the USSR.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 1:04 PM PST - 4 comments

Vedas and Bhagavad Gita

Please help me understand how the Vedas and Bhagavad Gita both fit into Hinduism. The Bhagavad Gita seems monotheistic but is welcomed by Hindu practitioners and this confuses me as the Vedas are clearly pointing to a polytheistic approach, and Hinduism in general follows the polytheistic approach. I am confused how Hinduism accepts Bhagavad Gita as not somehow usurping the Vedic understanding. [more inside]
posted by crunchy potato at 12:56 PM PST - 3 comments

PowerPoint 2010 - Omitting Objects Included in Animation Sequence

I'm trying to animate a slide to have images and text appear on a mouse click. I thought I laid it out correctly in the animation pane/creator.... However, PowerPoint ignores some of the photos and text I included. Why is this happening, and what can I do to fix it? Googling hasn't been helpful. Link to screenshots below. [more inside]
posted by Guess What at 12:54 PM PST - 3 comments

Why would my router be blocking Microsoft One Drive?

I've been using Microsoft One Drive on a MacBook Pro for a year now to work from home. It worked perfectly fine until the day before yesterday; then things started going wrong. I've gotten as far as figuring out that the problem is the WiFi, but why is it causing a problem and how can I fix it? [more inside]
posted by holborne at 12:46 PM PST - 4 comments

Gardening question: bougainvillea removal

Swapping out a bougainvillea vine trained into a tree for an actual tree (a 3'-4' pink dogwood, due to arrive this weekend), and extracting the vine's root system is a lot more complicated than I'd expected. This debacle is unfolding in a roughly 12' x 17' zone-10 garden, in a yard with pitiless western exposure. The bedding section is about 3' x 4'. And there's a sprinkler system. [more inside]
posted by Iris Gambol at 12:27 PM PST - 4 comments

What food has the same texture as oil pastels?

Someone I know has told me that the texture of high quality oil pastels (unctuous, creamy(?)) sparks something of a desire to EAT them. They are quite rational and sensible and don't want to *actually* eat their oil pastels, but want to know if there's any genuine foodstuff that has a similar texture and (potential) mouth-feel. I can't think of a single thing. Can anyone help?
posted by bunglin jones at 11:13 AM PST - 49 comments

How hard will it be to refinish and repair this furniture?

A wooden desk that I picked up for free a few years back has a crack between its component pieces of wood. How hard will it be to fix? [more inside]
posted by Spokane at 10:40 AM PST - 11 comments

Looking for Trevor Noah/Daily Show clip about absentee ballot fraud

Trevor Noah did a bit about the steps one would need to take if one wanted to commit voter fraud via mail-in ballot. [more inside]
posted by TWinbrook8 at 8:22 AM PST - 1 comment

Looking for logistics of getting vaccinated at Lumen Field in Seattle

I'm scheduled to get the COVID vaccine at Lumen Field in Seattle next week and have some anxiety about the logistics of it all. I live in North Seattle and don't drive downtown much, so this area is not familiar to me. I looked at the City of Seattle's page about the site but still have some questions that the page didn't answer. If you received the vaccine there, I have a few questions about the site/process in the more inside: [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 4:45 AM PST - 10 comments

Happy Caturday - suggest pair names for these flame point brothers

My family is meeting a pair of three year old flame point Siamese mix boys on Monday and has been approved for adoption assuming all goes well. I generally try to be open to keeping previous names if they suit, but these two are currently part of a St. Patrick's themed batch and came from a hoarding situation so I don't think they'll mind us finding something we like a little better. [more inside]
posted by miratime at 4:21 AM PST - 34 comments

What's the best program for figuring out how many people to hire?

So I've had some turnover in my department. With Covid's end opening up opportunities, people are looking and now, leaving. Now I can rejigger my team completely. I'm trying to figure out how. I thought I'd list out all the projects we have in their major steps. Then add time to do them and rough category. Use that as a plan. But IS there some kind of productivity or management software for this? Or that does it better?
posted by rileyray3000 at 12:36 AM PST - 4 comments

Is it legal to scrape data from free resources?

Let's say hypothetically that a textbook publisher has made lots of their textbooks available for free online. Of course, the textbooks are still copyrighted. Still, is it legal for me to scrape these textbooks for questions and create a website based around that? If not, why not?
posted by matkline at 12:18 AM PST - 18 comments

April 2

Oldest depictions of rude gestures

What are the oldest known visual depictions of people making insulting gestures? As a rule of thumb, answers should not be about depictions of violence, but something that can be reasonably interpreted as mocking or insulting displays (as much as we can tell such things about ancient cultures and traditions).
posted by primal at 11:58 PM PST - 8 comments

L'Aveda Loca

I used to use Aveda's Madder Root conditioner and shampoo to add a red tint to my brown hair. Aveda discontinued Madder Root a while ago and I haven't found a replacement. I do see it's $168 on Ebay so others must miss it too. [more inside]
posted by nantucket at 11:18 PM PST - 8 comments

How can -18 get covid vaccine without consent of anti-vaccine parent?

If an under-18 wants a Covid vaccine in a state that has required parent consent for those under 18, and has anti-vaccine parent, how might they go about getting it?
posted by anonymous at 11:05 PM PST - 7 comments

Need a recommendation for a sex therapist who can do telehealth.

Just what it says on the tin: my partner and I have a lot of tangled issues and layers of trauma, and I think we need a sex therapist to help us sort them out if we're ever going to have a sex life again. I very much doubt that I can find a good, queer-friendly therapist in our rural area, so I assume it's going to have to be telehealth, though I know that's probably not ideal for this kind of therapy. Bonus points if you know someone in Maryland, because that will probably help with insurance, but it's not a deal breaker.
posted by anonymous at 9:26 PM PST - 2 comments

How Can I Track Down cpies of Partnership Agreements

I have recently found that I am a limited partner in my family business. I was recently informed of this as I am being asked to vote 2 general partners out of their positions of responsibility to being limited partners. How do I go about getting official documents that are currently not being offered to me by lawyers or family? [more inside]
posted by goalyeehah at 8:52 PM PST - 6 comments

Reader's Theater Scripts with multiple girl protagonists?

My niece (7) has started reading voraciously and loves theater, so I've been converting some of her favorite books into ~15 minute plays to act out. Most of the books she reads have a single main protagonist (i.e. the fabulous Princess In Black series) but ideally the play would be at least 2 female or gender-neutral protagonists, so siblings can collaborate and there's not always one "star". Any ideas on children's stories with 2+ female protagonists that could be converted to dramatic scripts, or actual children's plays I could purchase? [more inside]
posted by rogerroger at 6:48 PM PST - 11 comments

How to open a GarageBand file on an iPhone 12

I recently finished a demo recording in GarageBand and want one of my bandmates to add drums. She’s having trouble opening it. We both have the 12 and are running 14.4.2 iOS, and the file is a .band.zip format. [more inside]
posted by pxe2000 at 6:32 PM PST - 4 comments

Dear diary, today I tickled a cephalopod...

Despite a longstanding fancy-notebook addiction, I've finally realized that I often prefer typing to journaling by hand. I also want a better way to organize and preserve my memories, including text, handwritten reflections and drawings, photos, videos, and audio. Please help me find my ideal journaling app for Mac/iPad/iPhone! [more inside]
posted by cnidaria at 5:40 PM PST - 3 comments

Supporting a coding camper

I just cosigned a loan so my daughter (27) can go to coding camp. I know very well that cosigning anything is not a good deal for the cosigner. I am happy and proud of her that she's doing this, but not 100% sanguine. It is true that I am able to pay off the entire loan (though not all at once) should I need to. My question is: How up in her business should I be? [more inside]
posted by pH Indicating Socks at 2:51 PM PST - 25 comments

Best platform for database, forms, etc

My wife's nonprofit organization has a medium-sized database running in Microsoft Access 2010 on an antiquated server running Windows Server 2008. It's getting increasingly creaky, and she's been trying to push them towards migrating to a new platform. What are the options? [more inside]
posted by number9dream at 1:56 PM PST - 9 comments

Recommend a field microscope to use with an iPhone

Help me choose a microscope to connect to my iPhone. [more inside]
posted by leslies at 1:05 PM PST - 3 comments

Dog and house sitting, how does it work?

Now that we are vaxxed, Herr Duck and I are planning a 3-week trip this summer. Ordinarily we bring our Good Girl Luce to the dogsitter if we are not bringing her along on the trip, but she's getting older and we think she'd rather stay in her own home. The dogsitter has a new puppy and I think that Luce would be better off without constant puppy energy around. As luck would have it, my 20-year-old niece will be off college for the summer. [more inside]
posted by Gray Duck at 12:23 PM PST - 20 comments

1st dose of covid vax from provider which closed, how to get dose 2?

My parents (ages 80 and 75) received their first Covid vaccinations at Innovative Express Care in Chicago. Unfortunately, Innovative was allegedly mis-allocating their vaccine doses and the City cut off their supply. They have attempted to make appointments elsewhere and every provider is telling them that they only provide second doses to patients who received their first dose from the same location! Aside from telling them to lie and just get a second "first dose" (of the same vaccine type) I don't know how to help them. They have taken their appeals to the manager at multiple places now to no avail. Any ideas? [more inside]
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 12:05 PM PST - 20 comments

Local Politics Campaigning during Covid recovery

We're starting the process of helping our Local City Councilor strategize how to campaign in the Covid recovery world, what milestones need to reached, and what presence the candidate should have. Beyond the starting questions below, what campaigning strategies should we be looking to use in order to maintain visibility in this time of Covid and how do we handle the dangerous climate that exists in Post-Trump local politics. [more inside]
posted by Nanukthedog at 9:22 AM PST - 5 comments

What does only being able to get a single dose of a COVID vaccine mean?

I had a mild allergic reaction (hives) to my first Pfizer COVID vaccine 15 minutes after the injection. The CDC says I shouldn't get the second dose, and my doctor agrees. What does that mean for me? [more inside]
posted by Sock, Sock, Sock, Sock, Sock, Goose! at 9:08 AM PST - 11 comments

non-big box store-type outdoor shaded seating areas

We have a large yard and sunlight that chases us from place to place. It would be nice to have a little shade in specific seating areas throughout the medium-large property. What are some options that work in a rustic/rural setting, elegant but in a welcoming and peaceful (peaceful is important) way? Ideas? [more inside]
posted by A Terrible Llama at 7:15 AM PST - 7 comments

What do I search to find a wooden bed like this one?

I'd like to get a bed a bit like this one or this one but probably not these because I don't want rattan. Basically, I'd lie a wooden headboard that sort of curves or angles in like a hug. I see so many that are upholstered, but I really want one that is wood. How do I find this (preferably in the UK)? And thanks!
posted by heavenknows at 3:55 AM PST - 5 comments

Rule requiring that UK law firms be open about soliciting business on FB

Maya Goodfellow's book Hostile Environment talks about vulnerable UK immigrants being taken advantage of by law firms. On FB, anyone looking for terms like "visa" finds a scattering of groups like "UK Spouse Visa" that I am curious about. Specifically: whether there is some rule (whether a FB rule or a UK lawyer rule) requiring firms to make it clear that they are soliciting business, and not (as they might appear on first glance) just hosting a generic FB discussion group? [more inside]
posted by johngoren at 2:58 AM PST - 2 comments

April 1

Can you help us with our taxes?

We donated a house to a non-profit in 2020. How can we best take advantage of this when filing taxes for the next few years? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 10:03 PM PST - 6 comments

looking for book titles!

hi mefi! i have a friend who has been trying to find a book that they read as a child but can’t remember the title of: [more inside]
posted by =^.^= at 9:37 PM PST - 9 comments

Feeling depressed about career prospects. Where do I go from here?

In 2019 graduated with my MLIS (yes, dumb choice in retrospect) after working in libraries for about 5-ish years prior. I was able to get a great 1-year contract position, but that ended late last year. Now I've been back at my old job and, honestly, I hate it. Due to the pandemic, general situation of libraries in Canada in general, I really don't know what to do next. What should I be doing next? Should I try to switch fields somehow? [more inside]
posted by VirginiaPlain at 9:11 PM PST - 32 comments

WordPress Theme Recommendation

Can you point me to a WordPress theme that looks similar to this Squarespace page?
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 5:46 PM PST - 4 comments

3 innings at a time

30 years ago when I'd watch local baseball games and/or listen to them on the radio, the play-by-play guys would rotate between radio and TV in 3-inning intervals. Why? Do they still do this? [more inside]
posted by Huffy Puffy at 4:03 PM PST - 7 comments

New programming language?

I've been using Python for my day-to-day work for 15+ years. I want to learn something new, mostly for fun and to stretch a little. What new programming language should I learn? [more inside]
posted by signal at 3:43 PM PST - 25 comments

Best store to buy a microwave?

Best Buy, Lowe's, Bed Bath & Beyond, ? Where do the trusty small appliances come from? Asking from triangle, North Carolina, USA. [more inside]
posted by amtho at 3:38 PM PST - 21 comments

Self-protection for Asian women during the pandemic

What are some things Asian women in big cities can do to protect themselves as targets of random street violence? This is specifically during mask-wearing, pandemic times and in cities such as NYC and SF. I am planning on purchasing a keychain alarm and wearing shoes with some height so that I appear taller. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 2:55 PM PST - 29 comments

I can't think because something smells like pee around my desk

One or more of my kitties peed somewhere around my desk, maybe on my chair, maybe on the carpet, maybe on some surface nearby. I can't think because of the smell. Literally what should I do? I have a bottle of pee remover spray. Just start spraying it everywhere? Explain this to me like I'm 5. [more inside]
posted by bleep at 2:00 PM PST - 13 comments

Good meal delivery service in Boston?

My friend in Boston is getting major surgery soon and I think it would be nice to send them a frozen casserole or something that they can reheat easily. I'm in NC so it would have to be doable from a distance. Do you have a favorite Boston place that will do this?
posted by clarinet at 1:42 PM PST - 6 comments

Getting a repair on a phone while I still need access to a phone?

I've recently discovered that my Pixel 3 has developed a bulging battery and I'll need to either fix or replace it. Previously when this sort of thing has occurred I've sprung for a replacement flagship-class smartphone, but there really aren't any phones that are speaking to me right now that I want to spend that outlay in cash so I'm thinking of getting the phone repaired instead. [more inside]
posted by Aleyn at 1:35 PM PST - 14 comments

I'm lazy, and I want a lot of flashcards

What tools will most easily take me from a text list of items to a flashcard deck (physical or app-based) via web-scraping and automatically assembling the cards for me? [more inside]
posted by agentofselection at 12:08 PM PST - 5 comments

Where to buy a Blackmagic Design Studio Camera 4K 2?

We need it pretty quickly, and all the authorized sellers have it down as a backorder. Blackmagic themselves can't help. [more inside]
posted by terilou at 11:51 AM PST - 5 comments

How do I get this lost iPhone back to its owner?

I found an iPhone on the sidewalk today. I chased down the only person nearby and they said it wasn't theirs. It was on airplane mode and I was able to disable that but then I found out there's no SIM. Is there a way for me to get it back to its owner or should I just drop it off at the police station and let them deal with it?
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 11:19 AM PST - 25 comments

Added wine to marinade by mistake - big deal?

I'm making chicken Marbella from this recipe and I added the wine to the marinade (will be marinaded for 24h). I reread the recipe and actually I'm not supposed to add the wine until just before cooking. Do I need to remake the marinade or will it be just fine?
posted by iamsuper at 10:07 AM PST - 12 comments

Where should my wealth go to fight inequality?

I believe inheritance is one of the primary factors that maintains and deepens wealth inequality and therefore all forms of inequality, so I want to do something different with my wealth, but what should that be? [more inside]
posted by Cogito at 10:03 AM PST - 26 comments

Galloping in the Background

I'm looking for (non-country) music with a certain characteristic: the baseline (or whatever's providing the beat) is evocative of a galloping horse/wild west/cowboy soundtrack. The clearest example of this is "Wolf" by First Aid Kit. I have two questions. [more inside]
posted by paperback version at 9:35 AM PST - 16 comments

Hyper-specific Montreal Question about Place Bonaventure

When did the sign on Place Bonaventure in Montreal change from red to blue? [more inside]
posted by mhum at 8:51 AM PST - 6 comments

Learning about Lighting

Give me some resources for learning about lighting for still photography. [more inside]
posted by backseatpilot at 8:38 AM PST - 6 comments

Show me your seamless, soft socks

My high-volume feet are increasingly sensitive to rough textures, seams and binding at the sock top, especially at night. I'm looking to replace most of my socks with durable seamless, soft, non-binding socks. [more inside]
posted by answergrape at 8:33 AM PST - 13 comments

What if this house is the one? House-hunting (and buying) tips, please!

A house just came on the market -- it's adorable and looks to be in a great location. I will hopefully be seeing it tonight. What if I love it? Should I make an offer? How will I know this is the right house for me? (Especially in a very hot market, where time is of the essence). [more inside]
posted by nowadays at 8:22 AM PST - 22 comments

Can You Send It Over As a Word Doc?

Please recommend online graphic design classes. [more inside]
posted by cursed at 8:07 AM PST - 4 comments

What sort of car rack would I need for our bikes?

What sort of car rack would I need for our bikes? [more inside]
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:49 AM PST - 9 comments

Help Me Make Chewier Noodles!

I want to make the chewiest spaetzle ever. What do I need to do? [more inside]
posted by Tchad at 7:49 AM PST - 12 comments

1930s movie: blizzard, woman shows up, helps school teacher family?

Joni Mitchell said the inspiration for her song "Hana" was a movie from the '30s: "a woman who literally shows up at a house in the middle of a blizzard ... sees the dire living situation of this school teacher husband and his wife and kid, and becomes like an angel to them." What was this movie? [more inside]
posted by kristi at 7:23 AM PST - 5 comments

ISO a birthday banner

I've been trying to find a birthday banner similar to this one from the movie Palm Springs, but with the ubiquity of not-the-movie "Palm Springs" as a party theme I've been coming up blank. Sadly, I am not crafty and don't have easy access to crafty supplies so I would rather purchase a banner kit, if I can. Can the powers of the Green help me find this banner, or suggest better search terms?
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 6:39 AM PST - 8 comments

Delaying school for a year, what are the arguements?

Following on from my last question we have decided our son would benefit by delaying school. Can you help me figure out how to articulate our reasoning. [more inside]
posted by catspajammies at 6:07 AM PST - 7 comments

Giving students written feedback. Can I be more efficient?

I teach a, um, let's call it a teapot crafting course. I have to give written feedback on my students' teapots. I want to improve my workflow to be more efficient. I have an idea, but I don't know if it's possible to achieve this with the software I have access to, basically Microsoft Office suite. [more inside]
posted by Zumbador at 5:55 AM PST - 21 comments

Magnets. How do they work? (when you feel like crap)

I've got an MRI coming up, but it's scheduled in the evening on the day after I get my second Pfizer COVID vaccine. Given all the anecdotal evidence about the after-effects of the second shot, should I reschedule? [more inside]
posted by emelenjr at 4:44 AM PST - 12 comments