February 2019 Archives
A friend is having a cheese ball and poker party. Each guest must bring a cheese ball to be admitted, and I have never tasted one. Please help me make the most delicious/interesting vegetarian or pescatarian cheese ball imaginable. [more inside]
Let's say that somebody victimized you, and is not ready or able to say they are sorry. How does one get past it? [more inside]
I'm still on that contract, flying 2700 km east every month or two for five days at a time. I've conquered eastward travel (yay tips in that thread + flight schedule changing), but each time I get back home - flying west for two/three timezones depending on time of year, landing at 7AM local time after maybe 4 hours of sleep before the flight - for days or weeks I wake up at 4AM, far too wired to get back to sleep. This time around, a week of 5 hours per night has left me a zombie desperate for solutions. [more inside]
What is an amazing, strange, eccentric festival, conference, activity happening in your town in the next 3 - 4 months that is not well known or easily found through a google search? [more inside]
My processed sugar consumption is digging me in to an early grave. Naturally occurring fruit sugars and local honey are ok. Everything else needs to go, but sugar substitutes like Splenda aren't for me (or my digestive system.) What specific programs and resources did you use to help you gradually but definitively quit sugar in the way that I need to?
My mail carrier has been out in all weather this winter, totally reliable and always pleasant. I know I can't give cash or gift cards. So what could I give them that they would actually appreciate? [more inside]
I am interested in revisiting kosher cooking to make food that actually tastes delicious. [more inside]
How difficult is it, if at all, to trade in a recently purchased new car and get something used? Is this even a good idea? [more inside]
It’s your basic cohabitation question—except for complicated grown-ups. Excruciating snowflake details inside. [more inside]
US traveler in South Melbourne suburb (Carnegie) has severe migraine. If it doesn't improve soon, is the emergency room at a public hospital the next step? Or some kind of private non-hospital clinic? [more inside]
I have a 1950s cream crochet cardigan which has a long history in my life and which is suddenly (higher humidity in Hong Kong?) showing 60 years of sweat stains along the neck and pits. Is there anything I can do? [more inside]
I'm seeking a program for the Mac that allows you to review a list of resources (images and sounds) contained in anything you drag and drop on it with the option to save them. Does something like this exist now? I had something like this back in OS 9 and I remember it being very versatile.
I love nori, wakame and, honestly, I‘m crazy for the umami flavour in general. But I‘ve only ever encountered nori as a maki wrapper, and wakame in salad. Now I‘ve seen sheets of seaweed at the asian store - is there anything quick and easy I can do with them to make a Thing To Snack On for myself?
What are some dead-simple dinner ideas? Looking for stuff that’s even easier than the “Easy 30-minute Weeknight Dinner” listicles, due to laziness, burnout, small kitchen, and temporary weird living conditions. There are 2 of us and we eat meat but no seafood. Sadly we don't have a crock pot or Instapot. [more inside]
I am getting the same message described here and can retrieve the messages once I see that notice but the problem is... I didn't delete anything. [more inside]
I am looking for a leather work laptop bag that will fit a 15.6 inch Lenovo Gaming computer that I want to use for work as well. I cannot seem to find a decent one, especially since my laptop is over 15 inches. Price range could be from $100 to $300.
I want to buy tickets to a sold-out concert at Altice Arena in Lisbon, Portugal. Can you recommend a reputable reseller? I've seen Viagogo, but also see mixed reviews. Also, more generally, do you have any warnings specific to Altice Arena relating to buying tickets from a reseller? For example, I've seen warnings that if your name doesn't match that of the original purchaser, you may be refused entry. I'd be traveling from outside Portugal to see the concert, so appreciate all tips and advice. Thanks
ashy kitty has a cut on her nose. It doesn't look bad but hasn't healed. Vet or not? Toll paid inside. [more inside]
Can you recommend digital/online tools to use to conduct competitive intelligence? For example, Crayon is one company that lets you compare products and website changes. Are there other companies that offer similar tools? If you were to learn from your competitors, what tools would you use?
A friend and I are planning on meeting at the Morgan Library & Museum in Midtown Manhattan (on Madison between 36th and 37th) on Saturday morning and would like to grab a casual breakfast at a coffee shop or bakery beforehand around 9 am. Where in the area has delicious pastries and/or breakfast sandwiches and lots of comfortable seating? [more inside]
One of my favorite kinds of science fiction is “naval warfare in space”. I love strategy, huge fleets of ships, and long, slow setups to big explosions. I think “The Hand Of God” and “Resurrection Ship” were among the best episodes of Battlestar Galactica, but get bored with all the bits that aren’t talking tactics. If a book has a picture of battleships on the cover, I’m likely to at least pick it up. Please recommend your favorite “space combat” science fiction! [more inside]
My wife and I are condo hunting, and also planning to start a family in the next few years. Real estate is expensive here, and something that would make a condo more affordable for us would be to buy one without in-suite laundry. What's it like raising young kids with shared laundry? [more inside]
There's a particular type of nonfiction I find absolutely irresistible- the deep-dive into a community. Like Paris is Burning, Can't Stop Won't Stop, Kamikaze Biker, Frederick Wiseman documentaries, even this recent FPP post on the Warren Ellis Forum. What all these works share in common is that rather than focus on just one person and their experience, as most works about a community tend to do, they examine their communities at a more macro level. Help me find more like them?
I'm looking for a TV commercial that aired in Boston around 1982-'83. I don't remember the product, but the ad ended with a man in a suit and tie returning home with a shopping bag, opening the bag, and throwing two pieces of bread at a pair of men's shoes still in the box. A male voiceover closed the ad with "you can't make toast with a pair of loafers." [more inside]
Where can someone who is relatively unfamiliar with environmental policy go to understand Democratic primary candidates' history and proposals on climate issues? [more inside]
I’ve worn glasses for 30 years and I always have difficulty adjusting to a new prescription and new frames. I’ve only ever had traditional eye exams. If you’re like me and you’ve gotten instead a digital eye exam, we’re you pleased with the results? [more inside]
I’ve been having trouble seeing up close for a awhile and finally saw an eye doctor a few weeks ago. I apparently needed both far and near correction, so they recommended progressive lenses. I just picked up my glasses yesterday. They are awful and I can't get anything done with them on. I know that it is supposed to take time to get used to them, but I’m wondering what that really means. [more inside]
It's 3am and I've just been crying for a couple of hours. I moved house a couple of weeks ago and a couple of hours ago I just met one of the people which shares the house that's been turned into studios and they had their snake with them. I can't deal with living two metres from a snake. There's no-one I can call because it's fine and legitimate and this is brown snake land but I'm weak and afraid. How do.you sleep with a snake just there [more inside]
I'll be arriving in Jacksonville, FL on Sunday (2/24) around 4PM and I'm looking for something to do for the evening. Ideally this something would include art or music, and maybe something to eat while looking at the ocean. [more inside]
I'm lucky to be visiting a friend who's living in Kyoto for two weeks in early March, and will be staying with him. [more inside]
In a roof leak, I sustained this damage to my ceiling and window frame. Can you point me forward? [more inside]
Is the process feasable for someone like me? [more inside]
This summer my husband and I want to fly into Vancouver to see friends and then drive around in some beautiful nature. We will have about ten days, in July. Can you recommend some specific towns or areas to see? I'm also considering maybe driving from Vancouver all the way to Calgary and leaving from there, so let me know what you think of that option. [more inside]
I can't do Step 1. HELP ME. [more inside]
A bencher is a pocket-size softcover prayerbook, usually stapled, used for the Hebrew grace after meals and various table songs. It's often given out as a favor at weddings and other lifecycle events. I want to add 2-3 songs to a standard bencher before giving it out to guests. Should I put stickers in the back? Enclose a card and hope it sticks in the bencher by friction? Thank you for your thoughts.
I'm 23 and I have a cervix. Gyno detected HPV. I feel absolutely awful and tainted and like my life has been ruined. How do I stop spiraling? [more inside]
I saw some similar questions on MetaFilter but wanted perspective on my particular situation - I currently work at a small tech company and the general environment feels a pretty toxic. I have about 4 years of experience ((3 at this company) in my field (design work). Should I quit and take a break to recover? Or tough it out? [more inside]
Enough time for Marrakesh+Fez+High Atlas+Erg Chebbi Desert Overnight? [more inside]
I am facing the prospect of replacing my New Coke/"We Are The World"-era Vaillant gas boiler and stand-alone water heater. One quote suggests a Navien NCB-E unit and the other suggests an IBC DC 20-125. Can anyone share experiences with either of these units, or compare them? [more inside]
I receive a lot of press releases regularly and annoyingly. I use Gmail both for freelance work (thus PR campaign bombs) and personal life. Can I auto-redirect all PR to a subfolder that I rarely check? [more inside]
I made a delicious Jamaican oxtail stew but misjudged the amount of liquid to oxtail. Now we have consumed all the oxtail and are left with this beautiful, delicious spicy gelatin filled stew gravy. It seems like a waste to throw it out - what else can I do with it? [more inside]
What are some examples of famous icons that are widely thought to depict the epitome of something good but actually depict something more insidious? I'm thinking of the "kissing sailor," or perhaps John Lennon's "Happy Xmas" song. Can be any media, but should be well known and recognized, and widely accepted as symbolizing something good and happy despite actually showing something much darker. [more inside]
How do i protect my hearing for a Metal concert while preserving the quality? I would normally wear Etymotic ER20 earplugs to a concert, but metal is going to be that much louder i assume - I haven't been to a metal show before - and would like something with more hearing protection. [more inside]
I bought a poncho in a touristy shop in Arizona or New Mexico twenty years ago that was basically a full or queen-size thick wool blanket with a slit for the head. It was incredibly warm and cozy but I lost it at some point. I'd like to buy one again, but my searches have not found anything. Where can I find these? [more inside]
My Pixel 1 seems to be slowly dying. I am going to need a replacement probably but I had no plans to replace it for 2 years. I need options. [more inside]
I've been dating a woman I like a lot for almost 9 months. We get along great, we share many important values, we sometimes even talk about a longer-term future together. However. [more inside]
Can you recommend on-ear or over-the-ear headphones that don't leave a flat spot on the top your hair (if such a thing exists)? I'm looking for something that can block out sound fairly well (not necessarily noise cancelling), but won't flatten my hair. Preferably under $100 and comes with a portable case (not too huge) if possible but not absolute requirement. [more inside]
In the book the Compassionate Mind, it recommends that someone who wants to live a gentler and more compassionate life, have a go-to image, a face of compassion, they can visualize when they need to step into a safer, more loving mindspace. So I'd like to ask folks, what painting, photo, sculpture best depicts for you the comforting gentleness of compassion?
I feel like I’m approaching an impasse with my current weightlifting routine, and have some concerns about its sustainability in the long run. I've had a hard time finding advice online on potential next steps. Details and caveats below. [more inside]
My SO has a turntable platter that’s made of die-cast aluminum. It has a greyish film in spots that I gather is oxidization (?). What are the best products (or ingredients) to treat it (clean it without damaging the finish, prevent further oxidization, make it look good)? What should be avoided? [more inside]
I need a trio of VoIP phones that can handle one number/account shared between them all (so far so good) but also allow two of the phones to have their own numbers. [more inside]
What do you call the annoying pile of snow left at the end of the driveway after the plow drives by? You know, the kind that creates an extra hour of shoveling just when you thought you were done, and that’s twice as heavy on account of how densely packed and icy it is. I need something snarkier than “Ugh, I need to shovel the driveway again.”
An unexpected opportunity to go to New Zealand just fell in my lap, and I am thrilled. I'll have a little over a week or so to explore! Flying into and out of Wellington (although I know there'll be at least one stop in between, and don't know very much about what it's like getting around NZ in general). What should I know, and what should I do? [more inside]
I'm a first-year PhD student studying social variation in acoustic and articulatory phonetics. I'm thinking of pivoting from a career plan centered around getting an academic job into positioning myself for working in industry. I'm wondering what my options are, what material I should be focusing on, and what job prospects are like. [more inside]
My partner and I just bought our first home in a newly formed condo association in Massachusetts. As members of the first association of this building, what should we include in our bylaws? [more inside]
How much should a social-science PhD student (ABD) charge for freelance work? [more inside]
Recommend to me, please, your favorite seed starting/indoor growing kits. It absolutely must be cat-proof. [more inside]
I want to become more familiar with manga. Where do I start? There is so much out there and it’s overwhelming (but in a good way!). What are the must-reads to give me a good overview of this genre? Assume that I am starting from square one with no previous exposure/knowledge.
We splurged in a spectacular sound system and have been rediscovering music. What are some mind-blowing tracks? [more inside]
Please help me send some recordings with no time wasted on my tinkering with my technology. [more inside]
I am watching Star Trek: Discovery and: those are some fine-looking uniforms! Such a pretty blue, nice high collar, sparkly bits, unisex. I’ve been thinking how cool it would be if I could wear something kind of like a Star Fleet uniform? And yet, not look like I’m cosplaying, or in pajamas. [more inside]
I'm looking for a guide for when to give those key life lessons talks to a kid. Obviously the sex talk is on the onset of puberty. But what about the rest of them? Bullying. Racism. Telling the truth. Did someone ever make a list of all of these and what ages you're supposed to dole out your wisdom for them? If not, help me make the comprehensive list.
I talk a lot, especially when I'm feeling comfortable, happy or confident. What's the key to talking less? Mindfulness? What are some techniques you have used to help you just be quieter? [more inside]
My understanding is that infants are not routinely given the measles vaccine because maternal antibodies transferred by breastfeeding would neutralize the vaccine. But my wife grew up poor, neglected and likely unvaccinated, thus would not have any measles antibodies, right? Therefore should we seek to immediately vaccinate our newborn baby?
I have Syd Field's "Screenplay" book, the bible of screenplays, but the formatting section is a little unclear to me. My confusion is about how to introduce the subject and angle of a shot (or when to specify the angle) and when to capitalize the name or subject (although this is more obvious to me when I understand the first part) [more inside]
Okay, I’ve put this off for two months, but it’s really getting to me. Almost every time I sit in my office-type chair, my left arm either starts hurting (immediately and a lot) or gets a nasty pins-and-needles feeling, or both. [more inside]
The sheer cost inflation of everything in this city is making it impossible for me to figure this out... help? [more inside]
I'm finally working on my official writer website. I'm dreading tracking down all the links for things i've published in the last 15ish years. Are there shortcuts I can do without knowing anything about coding? Other ideas to get the links quickly? [more inside]
I have 3 different USB-C devices that I plug in to my notebook PC. On all 3 of them, any tiny movement of the cable leads to the connection being dropped. So, for example, every time the USB-C hub cable is touched even lightly, all devices connected to the hub disconnect and then re-connect. So when using my notebook, I have to be extremely careful not to move it at any time. Is this normal? I've never had a similar problem with older USB or micro-USB connections on a range of devices.
Hello! I am a 41 year old woman and my husband (42) and I have recently moved to Toronto. We do not have children. Can you please recommend a good IVF clinic in Toronto? How much should we expect to pay for the treatment? Is there something we need to consider before going for the treatment?We are both Canadian residents. Thank you for your help.
Is my friendship with my co-worker toxic or have i just outgrown our friendship? [more inside]
I was recently offered a second, part-time retail job. I'm having cold feet symptoms. [more inside]
Help me find the bright metal tables I saw at a Thai restaurant [more inside]
Specifically for a Draceana Lisa plant. [more inside]
I'm trying to figure out an easy, cheap way to show off some of my photographs, but I am so confused! More after the fold. [more inside]
Hi folks. I have a new (refurb) 2017 Macbook Air, and I have literally just turned it on for the first time, and it is already borked in some way. Please help! [more inside]
I read a sci fi story recently (Aspirate) that got me a bit too close to the absurd. It's turned into fixation and rumination. I want to move on and make the most of my time on Earth because what else can I do, but that's a tall order. I guess I should put this stuff in the extended explanation if it's a bit much for people to scroll past. [more inside]
My wife has a work trip planned to Switzerland in early September. We can spend around a week there but she'll have two days for work in a small town in east Switzerland (Films) where it'll be difficult for me to stay (or super boring). Looking for places that one of us can hole up while other is working for those two days and for the other days where things might not be as expensive (so close by countries are an option). We'll probably need to fly in and out of Zurich. [more inside]
Can anyone recommend a strong talk therapist in Columbia, SC that is sliding scale? Has flexible hours, perhaps? [more inside]
Wonder if any of you have tips for a young friend fairly early in her career looking into exploring a career in development and learning to code? [more inside]
I haven't done a website in about 10 years, and now I need one for certain projects. No budget to pay a pro, and my technical skills (or ability to update my skills as needed) are fine. What do I need to learn about what's in style for website design for what I'm doing (see below)? [more inside]
Asking for my teenager: Can you help my daughter come up with a subject for a large (>80 h) high school assignment? She's an ambitious and smart kid, and her special area of interest is the Middle East. [more inside]
I am vaguely remembering a paperback that was pretty worn already in the late seventies when I got my hands on it. It was about a friendly little hairy alien, like cousin It, but I dont think it was Little Fuzzy. Or was it? More vague details inside. [more inside]
I am making a dollhouse for my future grandkids. I'd like to include some elements of surprise, whimsy & silliness. Ideas?
I’m interested in getting a very tiny stud in my nostril. I’ve had a bunch of ear piercings but that’s it. What should I know? (Am 40, dry skin, tendency toward nasal congestion, if that’s helpful.)
My mother wants to help me get over her parenting. How can I use this opportunity in healthy way for both of us? [more inside]
We are providing a Spotify/iPod disco for a party at a hired venue, and I want it to sound as best as it can given that there is no budget for proper gear. Which parts of the chain, from initial audio through to connection to the PA, will benefit most from a bit of love? [more inside]
We need advice on handling a miscarriage while my wife is a college student. [more inside]
Especially when I'm stressed out, I love the Sunday Routine section in the New York Times, about how upper middle class New Yorkers spend their relaxation time. Can you recommend similar media to me? [more inside]
I think I need to add a soundbar. Help me figure out how everything will connect (Roku, Blu-ray, Wii) and how much I should pay. [more inside]
I'm a stressed out, overwhelmed grad student and not so great understanding the cloud, dropbox, time machine, etc. Demystify all this for me? [more inside]
Can anyone give me any advice for getting started with DIY CPAP therapy for sleep apnea? For reasons explained within, I won't be getting this equipment through an insurance company or a Sleep Center, though I will have competent and willing medical supervision available. [more inside]
Theoretically how many "Useful" things could you conceal about your person and still look normal, or mostly normal. I'm thinking about things like paracord bracelets or belts so you have rope. Lockpicks or multitools as a wallet card. A battery pack in a pocket or sewn into a jacket lining. A Compass in a shoe? [more inside]
I will be having more occasions at which I need to dress more formally (maybe at two different levels of formality above blue jeans). I am mainly looking for recommendations about pants. But I am also open to suggestions about tops, blazers and shoes. I am also open to thoughts on accessories that aren’t too femme. [more inside]
Themes of alchemy, time travel by body-hopping, eventually going all the way to the beginning of time, the paperback had black edges, which was what made me buy it in the airport bookshop... but I don't remember the title or the author, can you help? Bought in the last 10 years or so.
(you were not my orthodontist) but does it sound normal to get braces in the first grade and then have them for 6 years? (so from 7ish to 13?) I remember I also briefly had a palate expander & and they eventually had to pull 2 adult bicuspids so the rest of the teeth fit (so overcrowding WAS an issue), but it seems like a loooong time to have them.
I heard of software that builds maps of video game worlds/levels by piecing together background images as they appear on the screen. The idea being that you could play through something like Castlevania with the software running and end up with a large, single image of the entire level (or as much of the level that appeared on-screen during play). Any idea what software this is? My googling is fruitless. [more inside]
How do I destroy (with extreme prejudice) FB notifications on a Macbook Air, when the notification centre is throwing up its hands and telling me they’re already dead?? [more inside]
What motivates people to do anything at all, beyond the necessities of life like eating, drinking, and sleeping? Why does a person read a book, or paint a picture, or call a friend, or buy something on an infomercial, or go to a protest? I'm interested in a very broad perspective on this question, so anything from personal anecdotes, to self-help books, to studies on the effectiveness of advertising, and to treatises on propaganda are all welcome answers.
My wife acquired this antique collapsible wire laundry basket years ago (pictured folded since it's a pain to open and close now). We finally have the space to use it as a display piece and I'd like to clean it up for her birthday this spring. It's in solid shape with just a few rust spots, but it's dirty and needs TLC. I'm starting from zero with furniture restoration but I'm ready to learn and I'm having a hard time googling a solution here. Is this just a matter of steel wool on the metal and some oil in the joints? Or should I use some kind of metal/rust cleaner? Any advice is much appreciated!
I'm a PhD student pivoting out of academia, I have a bit of personal programming experience, and I have about 6 weeks left of a data science bootcamp. I've learned a lot, I've been Pythoning my butt off, and I'm starting to think about job interviews and how to prepare for them. The problem: the internet is rife with conflicting advice. If you've hired a junior or have been hired as one, HELP ME PLEASE!! (Note: While I'm primarily focused on data science, I'd be happy to do junior dev work too). [more inside]
My guest bath's toilet, which we use infrequently, keeps getting clogged. Two different plumbers have found no obstruction, and are flummoxed. What can we do? [more inside]
We are in the process of looking for financial sponsorship for upcoming (and awesome) Buckminster Fuller themed event. The event will emphasize Fuller's ongoing influence in science, architectural design, engineering and art. What general philanthropic organizations/businesses can we target for financial sponsorship. To all Los Angeles Me-fites, specific possibilities would be appreciated
To deal with mice in my kitchen I am using traditional wooden snap traps (expensive plastic ones have been ineffective). I have caught a few mice that way. But very often the traps are either (i) so sensitive that I can hardly set them and they go off on their own; or (ii) so insensitive once I have set them that a mouse comes and eats the bait and the trap doesn't go off. The brand is Little Nipper. This may be hard to explain, but perhaps you have some ideas about what I am doing wrong?
It dawns on me (ha) that I have somehow become so afraid of putting too-high wattage bulbs in lamp sockets that my house is.... dim. Am I being silly? [more inside]
About 6 months ago I started wearing only jeans + cool band tshirts, mostly from bands/artists you've never heard of; mostly local or regional. A lot of southerny stuff, newgrass, etc. Old 97's, Jason Isbell, War and Treaty, Blind Pilots, She Returns From War, Great Peacock. They're almost all white! Can you suggest cool tshirts from talented, non white artists/bands? Understated, graphic, dark colors? Regional (SE) preferred?
We are in a financial position to give my in-laws a cushion that would make their lives infinitely easier. We want to do this happily because we love them with absolutely no strings attached. But how do you tell someone this? [more inside]
I'm interested in trying out one of the various solid or liquid meal replacements out there (Soylent, Meal Squares, Ensure, etc etc etc) — not for weight loss or weight gain, and not to replace my whole diet with, but because I have Sensory Issues that come out when I'm overtired or overhungry and make real food difficult. How do I decide which is right for me? Is there some trustworthy comparison of the pros and cons of each that I can use to narrow down the field? Barring that, what should I know? What should I consider?
I’m looking for recommendations for books or workbooks that focus specifically on how to increase confidence and self-esteem? Information about overcoming imposter syndrome is also welcome.
Hi there, I'm interested in learning what it's like to work in a biology lab as a scientist (researcher/postdoc/PI - whatever). I steered away from the sciences as an undergrad so I don't really know much about the process and what scientists DO. I'd like to find some books/narratives that would help me learn what actually happens in a biology lab. For instance, I think I know what pipetting is. [more inside]
Hi friends, I'm on the hunt for helpful critique of a section of my cover letter, which I've revisited several times. (I WILL get it right!). [more inside]
I usually wear Levi 505 jeans and like them but the rear pocket where I store my iPhone 6 is barely deep enough to hold the phone. It frequently starts to work its way out of the pocket. Looking for better solution. [more inside]
I'm trying to code a local/offline word processor in Swift 4 that basically works like writtenkitten--every 100 words you type, the app rewards you with a new kitten pic. I'm having trouble with the code and would like to understand Swift/Xcode better, and I'm not sure which of the pricey Swift 4 books would be a good investment. Which should I pick up? Snowflakes follow. [more inside]
So I’ve been playing the addictive incremental Shark Game (previously, previously, previously) for…a bit. Do you have any favorite personal side-quest kinds of things? [more inside]
I really dig watching, and learning about, obscure handcrafts and industries from days of yore. In fact, I think I want to spend much of this lazy Sunday watching such things on YouTube. Got any to recommend? (Inspired by today's FPP about bell tuning.) [more inside]
I’m looking for books or resources which discuss the origins of innovative thinking. [more inside]
Help me find historical/political/philosophical documentaries online [more inside]
Nearly 40 years after seeing the reviews and thinking I'd read it some day, I've finally finished Gorky Park. I have some questions, the chief among them being, if you're Russian and lived through the time period in question, does it still seem to be a fantastic novel or is it full of jarring implausibilities? More questions below the fold and spoilers of course. [more inside]
A few weeks ago, these little guys popped out of a bag of imported dog food in larval form – they kind of looked like these at the time, but without the coloration on the head or tail. They can't be much more than a centimeter long. What could they be and how can I destroy them? [more inside]
My idea of salad is lettuce leaves, tomato and carrot which is boring and not very filling. Please help me find a salad cookbook. [more inside]
I can’t stop looking at my smartphone. So I was thinking of getting a less-smart phone. I want something that can competently text and also call a Lyft and found this ancient Froyo Android. Will I be able to get Lyft onto a device this old? And will it be a security hazard somehow? Details inside. [more inside]
Is this normal? [more inside]
I inherited what was to me a lot of money at the age of 16. The money was invested on my behalf in a mix of stocks and bonds in PlanMember Securities, a fee-based system wherein I was paired with a (shitty) advisor.Is there someone I can pay for a consultation that wouldn't have anything to do with my money? Figuring out fund-allocation stuff on my own seems pretty daunting, with a heightened possibility of making some kind of mistake. Juicy financial details inside. [more inside]
Teach me about responsible use of credit cards, as they apply to Australia! [more inside]
So my girl-guts have totally gone and some lovely nurse is feeding chemo drugs into my system every three weeks. New experiences! I'm managing really well so far but I wonder what tips others may have for issues I may encounter in the near and distant future. [more inside]
I'd like to add more towel bars to a bathroom in my condo, and ideally the new towel bars would match the existing ones. But I don't know where the existing towel bars came from (or if that type exists anymore) - the existing ones presumably come from the previous remodeling of my bathrooms, which was a few years ago and before I bought the place. Does anyone recognize these and can tell me what they are? See links for pics. Some dimensions: the bars are 3/4" diameter, and the escutcheons are 2" diameter. Pic 1 Pic 2
People who have to stick other people with needles for Medical Reasons, and especially people who have to stick themselves with needles, how often do you get a needle that just doesn't go in like normal? [more inside]
This was us before Xmas. Things appeared to be settling down nicely until this last week, when Mr MMDP had something of a setback and I had something of a meltdown. I am a mess and can't help him until I help myself. But I don't know what sort of help I need. What does AskMefi suggest? [more inside]
I'm looking for an ergonomic chair to use at my 3' tall electronics workbench. If there was an Aeron model that tall there wouldn't be a question, but no such luck. [more inside]
My girlfriend is super cheap and I don't know how to deal with it. [more inside]
Where's that epic multi-book coming of age story for 8-9 year old girls? [more inside]
Someone has claimed that their business bank account does not allow ACH transactions for "fraud prevention." I am not familiar with any banking institution in the U.S. that prevents usage of this basic feature. Am I missing something?
I have a gift certificate for a "hydrating facial". I have no idea what a facial is. Insight and advice is solicited. I'm old; do no skin care or makeup. Before I make a call to them (not any website available for review) how do I navigate this unknown world?
I need to find someone with experience designing enamel pins and I need to do it fast and I have absolutely no idea how. [more inside]
How do I work with a headhunter? [more inside]
Where can I find good practice routines/drills for developing individual basketball fundamental skills? e.g. dribbling, layups, passing, etc. All around game improvement is the goal to help improve enough to make varsity next fall. I'd like to build a practice schedule that can be done daily with metrics to track improvement. Something that can be done at home (in a driveway with hoop on garage) by yourself. Online mentors/coaching? Also, where can I get more information about improving the 'head game' part? Outwitting opponents, strategies, tactics, etc. Books, videos? Thank you
Asking for a family member, a healthy musician and stonemason in his forties who does not drink or smoke. He and his family live in a rural area with minimal traffic. "I often wake up with an original piece of music in my head, most commonly in the form of a looping bassline. This happens both in mornings and after naps. Sometimes the music comes with a melody or even lyrics layered over the rhythm. Does this happen to anyone else out there? Any insights into possible biological explanations of the phenomenon?" [more inside]
Hi, all-- I'm going on a 3-week trip to the Middle East--Jordan, the West Bank, and Saudi Arabia--and I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR. [more inside]
Mid-30s man making friends with people who are in their early 20s. I'd like to do this right, and build healthy friendships, while also being mindful of the power difference, experience difference, and maturity difference. [more inside]
I heard my coworker say this and then follow up with a comment. I’m uncomfortable. But should I say anything? [more inside]
Hello, I’m stuck at a tradeshow for the next 4 days, repeating the same thing over and over to people that stop by the booth. Normally when I’m doing something like this I think about all the things I have to do make plans for the future which in turn ramps up my anxiety. I’m looking for fun thought exercises or some things to mull over that will be beneficial to me in some way. Additionally , I’m curious how others function in similar scenarios, what does your brain do when it’s active but your body is stuck in one place?
I have the opportunity to take on a new and exciting role, but my current gig is pretty ok. How can I weigh the pros and cons of each to make the right choice? [more inside]
I'm in a happy, committed relationship where marriage is on the table but not a huge priority for either of us. I'm wondering how marriage makes life different, in ways that I may not have thought of. [more inside]
I made this great friend last year. Long story short, he developed a crush on me, which led to me developing a crush on him. It was all very stupid, because I'm a happily married woman. He eventually let the cat out of the bag to see if I was interested in...um...more than friendship, but I did the right thing and broke his heart. Sigh. Now what? [more inside]
I come from a background, though removed by many years, of studying philosophy and political science with an affinity to critical social theory, but comparatively speaking I have a lack of historical perspective regarding the consequences of laissez faire capitalism, labor movements, neoliberalism, globalization, colonialization/hegemony, etc. and the public policy responses that have and have not worked in response to those dilemmas [more inside]
Good evening Meta-folks, I am still writing my story which takes place in 1984. I want to use a simile or metaphor by comparing an incident in my story to one of those many schmaltzy, trite, over-romanticized TV commercials featuring a man and a woman running toward each other——in slow motion——on the beach, with zealous smiles, water splashing and it all ending with the woman making a glorious leap into the man’s arms. I have two questions. First what product(s) were these commercials for and secondly, did any of these commercials take place BEFORE 1984? Thank you for any help you might be able to provide.
Yes, YANML, but I got a simple question for a state rental/homeowners credit tax form that I'm completely having a hard time understanding (one section). [more inside]
I want to insert one text list (of 6-letter plant codes) into another text list, and am getting know-where and confused. [more inside]
I have one primary TV in my living room that I use to watch streaming services, with no cable subscription. I would like to be able to mirror whatever I'm currently watching on that TV to a smaller screen in the kitchen so I can fetch snacks or wander off to do small chores without having to pause my show. [more inside]
I have a basic understanding of when to use italics and quotation marks. But I haven't found anything that says if they need to be used beyond the first reference. It seems they would wear a reader out if they're used continuously for repeating proper nouns that have already employed them once. Are they used at each instance or only at the first and are unnecessary for subsequent ones?
I've seen some references to "strasserism" recently. Can you explain what it is, or provide some historical or modern examples?
Usual depictions of mixed-orientation marriages tend to involve a closeted gay partner and a not-very-willing straight spouse (often a gay man & a straight woman, though sometimes the reverse happens), or a lesbian and a gay man in a marriage of convenience to appease family/cultural expectations. Are there examples where both parties are willing and happy with the relationship? I'm especially interested in a lesbian & gay man happily married to each other (doesn't have to be monogamous), but gay & straight are OK too.
Now that I have my OWN vehicle - not a 'family' car I share with my wife - I was thinking of making it my own with bumper stickers, but I am concerned that they might jeopardize my job. [more inside]
I'm in Madeira for the next two days (Saturday and Sunday) with a hire car and a desire to do something. What can you all suggest?
Looking for suggestions of books/movies/articles where the female half of a heterosexual partnership is the primary breadwinner. It can be a plot point or an aside, but the relationship must be overall positive.
I've been with my partner about 9 months.. We see each other once a week, stay overnight then often spend the day together. When we're together, I really enjoy his company, he's interesting, kind, funny and thoughtful. In between, he doesn't like to speak on the phone or text or whatsapp. He emails every day, and I reply. Emailing alone doesn't really work for me. My main question is: Is it worth persevering? Tried to speak about it a few times but nothing really changed. [more inside]
Today my husband installed a new 'Xtrons Android 7.1' car stereo, which he bought on ebay, in his car. The stereo came with a user manual, but it's very short on actual instructions. The stereo plays radio stations ok. It is mostly ignoring our phones. [more inside]
One of my relatives just got diagnosed with leukemia. I want to do something for the family but I'm not sure what. Ideas? [more inside]
I’ll be celebrating a “milestone” birthday over the summer and I’m having trouble deciding between two celebration options. Help me make a decision. [more inside]
I am looking for an online book club that has scheduled chatroom (or other versions of live chat) discussions. I want the discussion/chat of an in-person book club, but with the convenience of not leaving the comforts of home. Does such a thing exist, or is this one of those "be the change" things? [more inside]
Hello, I'm looking for the Arabic equivalent for something like "A is for Apple, B is for Ball..." etc. while i have seen things like this image, it would help to see the names of these creatures in transliterated english as well
I have an unpainted cinder block (CMU) fence in my backyard. One section has some graffiti from the previous owner's kids. I want to paint over it and then attempt to overlay a geometric design. I am a painting novice. How do I do this? [more inside]
Is there a permanent, global way to exclude a site from my google search results? [more inside]
I love matcha but first thing in the morning I want my drinks sweet (otherwise why get out of bed... ?). Looking for warm matcha beverage recipes for morning. [more inside]
We used to live in Edinburgh and are considering moving back. Where should we be looking? Details inside! [more inside]
I have a DVD player that has one of those RCA triple plugs. I want to connect it to a Smartboard that has an HDMI and a USB. We can ONLY play movies from a DVD, but we DON'T have a computer with a DVD drive. How do I make the movie appear on the Smartboard?
I live in an area where I can't buy good, whole bean coffee conveniently so I have it delivered. I enjoy constant variety so I'm looking for a subscription service that will send me different coffees. I've identified a few and am seeing if anyone has personal experience with them (or any that I've missed). On a similar note, if anyone has experience with spice subscription services, I'm also looking for experiences with them. [more inside]
I'm about to start selling watercolors and pen-and-ink art on Etsy. But I realized that I don't know the best way to ship the stuff. Do you have any experience, advice, or suggestions? [more inside]
I will be compromising on career and commuting options in order to lead a potentially saner life away from the big city. I thought I was ok with this until sh*t got real. How do I frame these changes in a way that helps rather than hinders the transition? [more inside]
What it says on the tin. I have a manager who lets her personal issues get in the way of treating her subordinates with fairness and respect. I need a short mantra to save my sanity and get through the days. [more inside]
I'm trying to find a morning pick-me-up for someone whose gastrointestinal disease means coffee and zero-calorie sweeteners, whether artificial (sucralose and its ilk) or natural (Stevia) are Very Bad News™. [more inside]
I, an intractable mule with a deep antipathy for management-speak, have been appointed to a very large cross-organization working group on a new HR initiative. Help me develop a taste for the Kool-Aid. [more inside]
I want to know about any websites that help with creative writing, blogging, community feedback, and delving into paid freelance work. In other words, a Swiss army knife of writing. [more inside]
So I realise this is an incredibly dated question. I have a friend that I game with over a LAN. We play cooperative games like Civ. However (gasp) I am getting bored with Civ. What else is there? [more inside]
I have a jar of preserved lemons and I'm vegetarian, so what dinner is in my future? What is their flavor? How long does an open jar keep?
Why do companies try so hard to get you to use their app instead of their mobile website? E.g. Reddit, Yelp. Detailed responses and industry experience welcome... [more inside]
My 2002 Hyundai Santa Fe just died. It starts but isn't drivable -- I think the transmission is shot. It's in good condition, no damage and newish tires (sob). I'd like to sell it for scrap, but I've never done that before. Can anyone recommend a reputable place to sell it to in Oakland, CA? Is there anything I need to know about this process other than handing over the keys and title? Thank you Hivemind!
Help me come up with interesting and creative ways to say "This is done". [more inside]
I'm having some difficulty generating a table of contents in Word 2016 for the PC... [more inside]
Hi - I have a friend who is a medical professional and needs to report a former employer for various malpractice, but needs to not lose their career. [more inside]
What are the downsides to having a non-binary gender indicator on one's driver's license? [more inside]
I am looking for references in science fiction - or anywhere else - about the possibility that we are being uploaded. [more inside]
I was thinking of spending a couple of weeks in London in May. I've been following the Brexit news in a superficial way but I don't have a good feel for what is likely to be the impact on travellers from North America. What's the worse case scenario? What's the likeliest scenario? What kind of disruptions would be reasonable to expect? I haven't booked my flight or AirBnb yet but will probably need to soon.
What expected or unexpected things are awkward for you at work, in a human-interaction cringeworthy sense? How do you deal with them? Have you gotten better? [more inside]
Looking for suggestions of wired earbuds (<$150) that have the option to use different size rubber or foam tips, but where those tips will actually stay on the earbuds and not fall off easily. [more inside]
I'm frustrated with my job options and not sure where to go from here. Advice? [more inside]
Do you have any feedback on my plan to find a job? I was pretty confident about my plan, but it's been a few months now and I'm getting a little nervous. [more inside]
I'm looking for songs about taking care of yourself. [more inside]
My partner and I are looking for a lesbian-friendly couples counselor in Portland, OR. Geographically, it would be best if they were west of the Willamette and north of Cornell. Beaverton would work too. Previous questions on this topic are from 2012 and 2011, so perhaps there are some new recommendations out there :).
My life is a giant mass of stress. One thing that soothes me is looking at apartment renovations - good, bad or indifferent; cheap or reach-for-the-guillotine. Where do I find them? [more inside]
After living in Minnesota for 8 years, I've decided it's time to get serious about keeping my butt warm. What are my options? [more inside]
I have swaying in back of head that seems to be in sync with heartbeat. My blood pressure is tested and it is fine. I have RA factor 17 (slightly on higher side). can that cause this?. I sometimes feel dizzy when walking.
For years and years, I have been wearing winged eyeliner on a daily basis. Now suddenly, it won't stay put and keeps smearing everywhere. I haven't changed my technique or the brand of eyeliner that I use. What gives?? [more inside]
I feel deeply stupid asking this question, but here we go. [more inside]
Yesterday, clavicle recommended this song - The Mesopotamians by TMBG. It‘s my new favourite song (thanks clavicle!). I love songs that poke fun at historical topics and then squeeze relevant words/dates etc. into the lyrics. I also love the Monty Python song „Oliver Cromwell“. Do you have other recommendations? Thanks!
I'm looking for recommendations on nonfiction books about engineering; specifically, a group of people coming together to build something that has never been built before. Or multiple groups of people in competition to do so. [more inside]
I am looking for a source that has dinosaur feet size. [more inside]
Can you recommend a vegetarian friendly restaurant near the New York Public Library (Bryant Park) for a Valentine's Day dinner? It's fine if the restaurant is omnivore as long as they have some good items without meat. No other food restrictions.
Are there any real estate sites, a la Zillow, that allow you to filter listings by proximity to public transit? [more inside]
I'm going to a conference in Minneapolis this summer and will be taking my spouse and 9 month old. Where is the best place to stay? [more inside]
Help me gain a better understanding of how my body works! [more inside]
My young adult son with Aspergers has been collecting SSI since he was 17. He is now a full-time junior in college and not working at the moment. He has worked a few jobs in the last couple of years, making minimum wage. His father just became eligible for Disability, and we were told my son is now eligible to the equivalent of half his father's benefits. [more inside]
Hi MeFites! This may be a no-brainer question, but can anyone help me identify songs about fictional bands/singers in the vein of:
- "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" - The Beatles
- "Sultans of Swing" - Dire Straits
- "Benny and the Jets" - Elton John
The GAP insurance on my car sent me 'A deadline is approaching' mail, but they never stated the actual deadline on the mail, just 'refer to your contract'. Now they're saying it's expired so they won't pay. What are my options? [more inside]
I am going to host a tea party for my twin nieces, who are turning five. Help me make it special! [more inside]
Had a root canal done 2 weeks ago in a molar due to extensive pain. X-ray done didn't reveal anything but was told that due to periodontal disease there could be exposed nerves and so a root canal was done. During the 2 weeks I didn't feel any pain. Then I went to have the tooth filled permanently. Now I have pain in the tooth and stabbing pains in my eye. There's more. [more inside]
For a few glorious years I could buy two models of pants from Uniqlo - their ultra stretch skinny chino, and their stretch skinny-fit color jeans. But they've discontinued them both, and their replacement chino and jean models just don't do it for me. [more inside]
My partner and I are looking for a great therapist in NYC who can help us talk about, and think through, a possible shift to polyamory. [more inside]
Has the tentative border security deal (reference) been presented as legislation to the House of Representatives? If not, are we doomed to another shutdown due to the 72-hour rule or is the House able to waive the rule?
I got a cool new job that affords me some fashion flexibility. One aspect of it is that I sometimes have to walk across downtown to appear in public with not a lot of notice looking professional. [more inside]
Tall, skinny, thoroughly assless woman seeks leggings and pants that won't slither down and fall off. [more inside]
US-tax-filter: which HSA contribution limit applies to a single adult who is doubly insured by individual and family HDHPs? [more inside]
I recently picked up the novel Revelation Space by Alastair Reynolds. I've only just started reading it, but I'm getting déjà vu. If I look up the plot for Revelation Space to check and I'm wrong, I'll have spoiled the book. So if I tell you about the book I think it might be, could somebody who's already read it please tell me if I'm right or not? SPOILER WARNING [more inside]
I'm trying to identify a TV show with haunting intro theme music that included some whistling. If I remember right, the music sounded vaguely Celtic. The TV show is contemporary or contemporaryish (after 2010), and available on either Netflix Canada or Amazon Prime.
Actually, I was going to ask if I could eat boiled chicken breast left out overnight for 7 hours, but simple searching pointed me here, so I'll just toss it. However, the comments made me really wonder... Every day I bring in various sealed foods, which I just leave sit on my desk from when I take it out of the fridge, to when I eat it, always at least 4.5 hours later, but sometimes 6 or 7 hours later. [more inside]
Where do you go for well-researched/cited recommendations in your areas of (in)expertise? I desire more evidence-based recommendations in any specific subject, similar to these in conservation efforts, charity, medicine, child-rearing. What about education? Underwater basket weaving? Llama farming? Gardening? Etc, etc, etc.
I'm trying to identify a specific, commonly used word that's pronounced in a different way in Scottish English. Does anyone have any ideas what this word might be? It's on the tip of my tongue but I can't think of it... More details inside. [more inside]
Assuming a Maximum No-Deal Brexit, what impact should I anticipate on a British firm's capacity to ship goods to Australia? [more inside]
I volunteer at an animal shelter, along with three amazing friends. One of them has a birthday this weekend and we are looking for a way to make it special at the shelter. [more inside]
I've started settling into my life professionally and geographically and such, but my hypervigilant brain is still taking its sweet time relaxing. One area of focus, obviously a large one: non-work time alone. What are some good habits or hobbies or whatnot that communicate the opposite of "you must constantly be manuveuring yourself into new futures/lives/possibilities to avoid being blindsided and hurt"? [more inside]
Hey I want to buy a (new or used?) sofa-bed or couch for between $50-500 delivered. I do not want to rent a truck or hire a man with a van. What are my options. Cambridge, MA area.
What are the best philosophical works (including novels) you've read that touch on belief (the nature of, not the content of), memory, and identity?
I pinned this shoe bench from West Elm ages ago and of course they no longer sell it. Know anyone that sells something similar? I specifically like the bent wood part. Happy to order online or go somewhere in-store. I'm in Austin if that helps.
Someone has come to me for editing help, and I want to steer her to someone else. Suggestions? [more inside]
My fellow Meafites, Oh why have you led me astray? [more inside]
I've got more than two feet stacked up of notebooks, note cards, photocopies, maps, and god knows what all of genealogy I've been working on for more than 30 years. It needs to get computerized. [more inside]
I been remembering some oddly specific stuff recently, and so I'm throwing this out for some help filling in gaps. There was a book I didn't read 17 years ago that I'd like to know more about. [more inside]
Possible trigger warning for discussion of sexual abuse/violence: over the past several months, I've developed a strong platonic friendship with a younger man I met through work. Partly due to our jobs, we've had a number of deep discussions about things like feminism, toxic masculinity, and sexual violence. A couple of days ago, during one of these intense conversations, I sensed that he was edging closer to disclosing a personal history of abuse. (I won't go into detail about why, but please accept that there are Reasons for this feeling.) [more inside]
I am researching my son's great-grandfather, born ~1911 in England. A census in 1944 lists him as Pvt #[6 digit number], R.A.S.C. Can I use this information to get the rest of his service record? Family lore says he died in the war, but I suppose we don't know that for sure.
I'm looking for recommendations for an online exterior designer / advisor. Ideally, I'd like to provide them with pictures of my house from all directions, show them some of my inspirations and ideas, and have them deliver renderings. [more inside]
Has anyone found the "right" time to quit their role at a startup and not regret it? [more inside]
The author is a woman who had a blog where she recorded every detail of her daily life. [more inside]
I have a sensitive child who saw Coco and is now terrified of the Day of the Dead. When he thinks of it he frequently starts to cry, but he can't seem to stop dwelling on it, and it's incredibly distressing for him. (He is talking to a therapist about it.) Could you suggest resources -- webpages, storybooks, products -- that might help him understand a bit better, and be less frightened of the skeletons? [more inside]
Friend constantly switches between complimenting/praising me for certain attributes/accomplishments and targeted bullying of same attributes/accomplishments. I can't seem to predict which side they're on at any given moment or what triggers it but it's getting to the point where I don't want to be around them for very long anymore. I find it extremely confusing and painful as it feels like they're only being pointedly cruel to me. What could be the issue here and how do I approach it? [more inside]
I have been hired by a team at a company where a different team previously rejected me. Given the circumstances below the fold, should I/how do I approach the current director of the latter team to offer my experience? [more inside]
My anti-shopping SO has finally admitted that he might need outerwear heavier than a Patagonia fleece, even for a mild northern CA winter. Complications: it's the tail end of winter shopping season and he's an uncommon size... [more inside]
I remember reading an article about vaccines and autism that I want to share with someone and I can’t find it. The article examined some families’ claims that autism signs appeared in conjunction with vaccination; when contemporaneous home videos, photographs, and interviews with family members were examined, this turned out to be not true, and signs had appeared much earlier. I believe this article may have appeared in the WSJ or NYT in conjunction with a legal decision about the vaccine injury fund. Possibly as long ago as fifteen or twenty years ago.
Last night, I took a container of frozen, cooked, shredded chicken out of the freezer while putting stuff away and forgot to put it back. This morning, about twelve hours later, I discovered it on top of the fridge. It had thawed and reached room temperature. I immediately labeled it and put it back in the fridge. Given that it was cooked and had been frozen, is it still edible or should I write it off?
Kids in my son's STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Art and Math) class (7th and 8th grade) are planning an overnight trip to Portland a Friday/Saturday in May. What should they see/do, related to their theme of Inventors and Inventions? [more inside]
A friend will fly long-distance as the guardian of a middle aged man with severe mental disability (non-verbal) who is used to taking his shirt off. If this happens during a stop over in Hong Kong or Bangkok airport, where any kind of nudity is against the law, will they get in trouble? [more inside]
I was purchased one of the MBPs with the defective butterfly keyboards. According to a rep, I qualify for service (see here). However, when I called the Apple Store and the genius said I had to bring it in to be assessed for damage before they would consider any work covered by the program. Has anyone negotiated this transaction at an Apple Store? The MBP itself is not damaged. Thank you! [more inside]
I was perplexed by this New Yorker cover. Dog and cat playing chess. Cat clearly winning -- or has already won. However both are apparently dozing. And they are sitting on a globe which suggests some geo-political connection. I cannot find an explanation in anything that was going on in June of '74. Can anyone explain this to me? Thanks
Last night a fellow congregant at my UU church picked me up for a meeting. He's almost 80. He blew through a red light downtown and somehow everyone else reacted quickly and we didn't crash. It was terrifying and I have whiplash. I don't want him to be driving, and I'm trying to figure out what action to take. [more inside]
PartnerSky wants a sewing machine to do very basic work. What should we buy? [more inside]
I bought a new power cable with an extension cable for my 2013 Macbook Pro last July. I ended up getting a new Macbook Pro laptop last week, and they don't come with the extension cable anymore, it seems. I really like that extra length. Before I buy a new one, is there any reason why I can't use the one I already have? [more inside]
Over time, including installation, maintenance, plowing , everything -which is more cost effective- asphalt or gravel? [more inside]
A newer member of an informal group sent an angry, sort of threatening text message to another, super nice, member. We don't all know each other that well, and it's a mystery where the anger is coming from. [more inside]
We will almost certainly vacation in Rome this May. It is one of my wife’s and my favorite places. It will be my 5-year-old daughter’s first trip to Europe, which is exciting for her, but she doesn’t know much about Rome, compared to Paris or London. Can you recommend some age-appropriate media to introduce her to the Eternal City? [more inside]
Just what it says on the tin. My best friend is moving to the UK this summer, and I want to take the opportunity to cross the Hadrian's Wall Path off my bucket list. I'm looking for recommendations of companies who can arrange it, thoughts from those who have done it, must see spots, etc.
I have dysthymia (chronic low-level depression) and am considering ketamine-assisted therapy. But it's very expensive ($3000) and from online research I can't decide whether it's likely enough to help to be worth the expense. What does MeFi think? [more inside]
This is me. I think I've done pretty well on the plane piece, and now I'm wigging out looking at the public transportation system. [more inside]
I'm trying to write a sketch called "kill them with kindness." My premise is people breaking bread with folks who hold badly dated views. Except they take them to a cafe where the menu, long term, statistically, will kill you. But not badly made blowfish. Or spoiled stuff. I mean everyday grub. Like charred meat leading to higher cancer risk from carcinogens. So what else is on this deadly menu?
In about a week I need to rent a car and drive all my things across the country. What do I need to know ahead of time regarding the route and places to stay along the way? I'm especially worried about bad weather and/or someone stealing all my stuff. [more inside]
I'm a 37-year-old female with a history of depression and anxiety. The latter has worsened recently and I seem to be developing some compulsive behaviors. Has anyone experienced or treated these types of issues, who could help me understand why I'm doing these things to myself and how to stop? [more inside]
Basically I have two sheets on one spreadsheet (Dashboard and Resources). One, Dashboard, is used to generate a drop down based on this criteria: =Resources!$B$2:$B. This works correctly and populates the drop down with the name of the values of that column from the Resources sheet and the user may select, "Gold," or =Resources!$B$23. I'd like to get the Price column in C, Resource!$C$23 based on user's selection. This does not work. [more inside]
Hi everyone! I'm new to the Chase Ultimate Rewards program and I'm looking to plan a trip to the UK this fall (September 15 to October 6), flying out of Seattle, WA. I've been reading various forums that talk about different ways to transfer and spend points, but I'm not sure if it's better to book using the travel portal directly or through a partner point redemption. All the options are quite confusing. Does anyone have any recommendations on the best, most cost-effective route? Is there an easy tool to compare redemption options? Thanks!
The bag I'm looking for must go well with the three conditions above. I think I may have found it. The size is perfect! What I need help with: Black would be my go-to, but would any other available color fit with the above three things? Nothing light-colored, of course; I want to keep the inevitable hand-grime to a minimum. Also: Would you indeed declare this bag to be the thing? I'm pretty nutty about it.
I had a planned trip to visit some Internet Friends in Vancouver, Canada this weekend. However, all this snow is making me anxious about the trip. Should I be worried about driving on the highway in this weather? [more inside]
I've been feeding 4 cats 3-4 5.5oz cans of Authority wet food a day, and I free-feed Authority grain-free dry as well. Cats are in great shape but I'm wondering if there is a better food out there for these guys that isn't PetSmart-exclusive... [more inside]
I am looking for an original taxonomy of monsters. [more inside]
Scientists, researchers, professionals in the field: I just heard about the One Earth Climate Model, which was funded by the Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation. Does the framework and claims for this model appear to be bogus, potentially reasonable, or is it simply too early to tell? (Please do not respond if you consider my question stupid or offensive. Thank you!) [more inside]
I noticed water damage on a basement wall yesterday and, sure enough, the foundation is cracked right on the other side of it. I've got requests for inspection/quotes in with the only two (really?) foundation repair companies I could find in the area, but is there anything I can/should do myself in the meanwhile? Photos. [more inside]
What other songs are like Creep by Radiohead in terms of subject matter? My general preference is that they not be songs about how you are getting laid a lot but are also lonely. (Ahem, Drake). PURE LONELINESS ONLY, THANKS.
Please help me with suggestions on how I can adjust to working in an office environment again after more than a decade working independently. More inside. [more inside]
In 2016, I had a TIA, and immediately started suffering memory problems (details below the fold). I've had an MRI, CT Scans, EEGs, tests for early Alzheimer's, and every other test imaginable, it seems. Some of them more than once. Doctors tell me nothing is wrong and the problems I'm having aren't "really" memory problems--though are reluctant to call them something else. They suggest perhaps I'm "just not paying attention." I've never had difficulty paying attention and my memory degradation was overnight and not gradual. Any assistance appreciated... [more inside]
Do you have a couch you love where the seats are deep enough to comfortably nap on? Tell me about it! [more inside]
I'm making a project in linen stitch (with cotton yarn, which is a pretty hateful combination) and it just called for a decrease. I'm not sure how things match up from the next row on. [more inside]
I'm a huge lover of smoked salmon (aka nova aka lox*), but I've been generally disappointed with the supermarket brands I've been able to buy in DC. Are there any places you like in the District that sell particularly good stuff? Thanks for your recommendations! [more inside]
I need a mid-career skills update, with a focus on full stack development. Does Thinkful provide good courses and deliver on its promises? How about Code Academy? It looks like Thinkful provides a lot more structure and costs a lot more. I'm interested in hearing about experiences with both these options and others as well. [more inside]
I have been in relationships pretty much my entire adult life - I've had a combined period of about a year of singledom in my twenties, but otherwise have pretty much jumped from relationship to relationship. I am in a relationship with someone I love dearly, but I am concerned that I don't really know who I am outside of the context of a relationship, and I want to find that out. I need advice on how to precede or alternative ways of navigating this. [more inside]
I'm looking for recommendations of stories/experiences (blogs, books, etc) of AMAB people who now identify as non-binary, but have kept a "male" appearance in terms of body hair, fashion, and the like. I'm mostly interested in their self-discovery journeys, but day-to-day experiences are also welcome.
Can anyone recommend a dual-SIM phone which would work in the US and Europe and has a decent camera and should last 2 years at least? I'd prefer something that isn't a phablet...one-handed operation is a good thing, as is fitting into a pocket. My original budget was $200, but under $300 is preferred. Or should I bite the bullet and get the used Galaxy s9 for $400? (Background and details in "extended explanation") [more inside]
I have a coffee can full of small change. My local Coinstar offers Amazon credit for small change. What are some nonprofits that have active Amazon wishlists?
I'd like to get some nonfiction kids books for my five year old. We have a few from the library -- one about space, in particular, was a hit -- but most all seem a bit wordy and often too complicated for her age range. Any suggestions of others, on any topic? I mean, is there like a "Bearenstain Bears" of nonfiction? :)
I use mine mostly for web browsing, watching video, and email, so i don't need anything too fancy on power and memory. But I do play a few simple games and love puzzles, so a touch screen is a must. I also want the keyboard to be relatively easy to disassemble to clean. I carry it around pretty often, so weight is also a factor. Thanks!
I'm looking for an open-minded psychotherapist who practices in or around Santa Monica, California for talk therapy and life-strategizing. Can anyone recommend a good one?
I need a visual alert system for smoke, carbon monoxide...and maybe other things? There are options - many options. They all look expensive and crappy. Perhaps someone here has experience with this? [more inside]
I have a fresh incision that I plan to work on soon to keep the tissue soft. What scar oils or creams work well? [more inside]
Looking for recipes or other things to do with a bottle of vanilla extract that actually smells and tastes like cream soda flavoring. [more inside]
I subscribe to too many newsletters and want to read them outside of my email account. [more inside]
Prediabetic (AC1 at 6.4 for many months) and have started Metformin (500 mg once a day). I'm on Day 3 and so far no side effects. If you've taken it, can you share if and when side effects kicked in / how effective you've found the medication / any optimistic bits about how this will help me lose weight ? I am hoping to be less hungry soon, but that hasn't yet happened.
I worked on a piece for my daughter not realising that 7560 stitches with a birthday deadline was a lot (this is the pattern - I made it into a little bag) and after a week of working on it, stayed up all night stitching 18 hours straight to finish. Three days later my right hand and lower arm still ache. Is this RSI? How do I fix my hand? I have things to do!
I think? I am going to visit Montreal for a few days in mid-March. I will be alone, not going for work, just to bum around and get away from my kinda stressful day-to-day. I am looking for recommendations for 1) hotel 2) spas 3) eateries and 4) sites/things to do. Specific needs/wants within. [more inside]
How can I feel better about contributing to my Roth IRA? [more inside]
In 2016 my dishwasher broke. I paid $10 to some web site to sell me the maintenance manual. Like not users' guide, but the manual that tells repair people to press these two buttons at once to enter repair mode, then this button to drain or whatever. Now I need that manual again. I can't find it. What would the web site have been? [more inside]
I just recently hit a ceiling in my department and would like to pursue professional development while I sort out further career steps. My current higher ed job doesn't fall neatly into one specific dominion and I haven't found many external professional development options that seem relevant to me. Can you help me identify some decent options? [more inside]
How do you manage expectations of contact frequency and communication at a distance? I think my adult relationship with my parents needs a process-focused reboot, and I’m looking for ideas and suggestions on long distance communication styles. [more inside]
With all of the emphasis on Artificial Intelligence, and Ray Kruzweil trumpeting it while Stephen Hawking warned against it, has anybody done a dry run on where self-learning intelligence would go if left unchecked? [more inside]
My 16 year old is looking for a part time job. She's interested in the trades and has a flexible schedule. She doesn't drive. Ideas? [more inside]
Can I watch this outside of the UK? It seems one must download a player from BBC that is only available in the UK. The show looks awesome (clip) and I'd like to see it.
How do I convince Google News that I don't care about K*lie J*nner or the K*rdashians? (names obscured for reasons that will become clear) [more inside]
For the past several years I have essentially been self-employed doing gig / contract work, but now I am looking for something(s) new to do. Perhaps I should look for something more stable...more career-y...while also being fulfilling...but really, any suggestions are welcome. I would ask a career counselor for help if there was one around here. I realize that some of the details within may be redundant and excessive, but maybe it'll help generate ideas. Plenty of snowflakes if you didn't get enough this winter. [more inside]
So, naturalists observe, a flea Has smaller fleas that on him prey . . . The dang cat has fleas again. Which presumably means both cats have fleas. Again. [more inside]
I still have my previous phone, a Verizon iPhone 6s Plus with 64gb of memory. It works fine. It does not have a cell plan anymore. What's the easiest way to use it as basically an iPod? [more inside]
So... I'm not trying to be nasty, but please don't tell me about how using a friend as a sperm donor is a bad idea or the complications with it... Google has already tried to do that several times (more inside/in extended explanation). [more inside]
A friend and I are spending a week in Rome, right near Vatican City. We want to see some cool, weird, old stuff, and we need specific advice on how best to do that in the Vatican. We're also interested in more general advice on where to go in Rome and Milan. [more inside]
So we're taking 6.5 year old Schwingg! Jr. to LA next week and looking for movie industry things to do! He's very interested in the history of movie production, silent movies, and black & white comedies. Pretty much uninterested in going to Disney. To give you an idea, here are the stars he wants to see on the Walk of Fame: Buster Keaton, Charlie Chaplin, Erol Flynn, Oliver Hardy, Stan Laurel, Groucho Marx, and Donald Trump. I understand that most of the movie set tours don't allow kids under 8, so that puts us in a bind. Ideas for movie activities (and any other non-Disney activities?)
This picture of the band Broken Social Scene looks like it was taken on the platform of a railway station - the visible part of the sign reads "ewes Street". What's the full name of the station (if it is a station?), and where in the world is it?
Can you recommend a nice bar in DC where I can get a seat on Friday around 10:30 PM? I am a cocktail/beer snob and would like to find somewhere relatively near Union Station where I can drink something fancy after my train gets in. [more inside]
A online discussion / blogger group I'm involved in is looking to hold a 2 day small conference in the Los Angeles area for about 50ish people this June and they're looking a venue that could be free (or very low cost) . This is not a for-profit group but they don't have official nonprofit status. This might be a tall order but I was asked to look into this and thought the MeFi hive mind might know! Thanks for any suggestions!
I have this friend, who is a complex character that I have seen a therapist about and THEY didn't know what to make of him. He's costing me my mental health with a ganja habit that has very clearly, for years, been terrible for me to be around - words that have come out of my mouth - and there are too many behaviors to ask for behavior changes. And he is my roommate now because Life and Stupidity. How do I DTMFA with my circumstances? [more inside]
I'm trying to close and archive a 'fan' page I created years ago. After doing 'download page' and looking at the file, all the most important stuff is missing. [more inside]
How likely am I to get scammed with a fake ticket on StubHub vs Ticketmaster or Craigslist? [more inside]
What are non-physical ways of showing affection? I'm looking for examples that work for a long distance romantic couple who might not be able to see each other very often, so physical things like squeezes and hugs are not possible most of the time. The kind of affection I mean the most is the little connecting things that couples do that form a sort of inner communication within the relationship that brings the couple together or reconnects them to one another, keeping their connection strong. Any kind welcome, verbal especially. Thanks for all your ideas!
Do people that enjoy extremely hot and spicy food a) enjoy and relish the extreme spiciness or b) are so immune to the extreme spiciness that they don't actually feel it to the same extent?
I’m looking for a short story that I think is Russian, maybe Chekhov. In the story a man’s wife dies, and because it’s winter he puts the body in the shed for lack of other options. Because the body is frozen he just keeps it there for a long time. When he has to go out there, he hangs his lantern on her jaw, which is frozen open. Anybody know the title of this story?
I'm really worried about this. I left my first job 9 months after being there, it was a terrible place and I just could not handle it. I needed to get out of there so I took another offer bur now I'm not sure if I made a mistake. [more inside]
I have a memory of an episode of 21 Jump Street in which police go undercover at a university, and there is a Chinese foreign student who, it turns out, is also a political activist and is worried that he is being spied on by other Chinese students. However, Googling shows no such episode as existing, so I must be mixing 21 Jump Street up with some other show. What might I be thinking of?
Out of the blue, my friend told me today she was annoyed with me for expecting her deaf service dog to wear a service vest when entering/leaving my apartment. I am not sure how to proceed. [more inside]
For a short story: if you could magically combine any 2-3 (non-living) household objects in order to create a cool/wacky hybrid of the two, what would you combine? [more inside]
I'm going to a friends house to let their dog out in a couple hours. They wistfully reminded me last time we hung out how that the job we both worked at, everyone used to prank each other. I would like to start the prank war; need some ideas that I can put together on short notice. [more inside]
I'm starting to get into drawing and was wondering if the hivemind could name some artists for me whose work I could discover who explored different states of mind like psychosis, hallucinations, and delusions and the emotional states that came with that. Basically, I'd like to see the art of a mind that is "broken" in some way. Thanks!
I'm looking for suggestions on reliable spin bikes that won't break the bank. [more inside]
Where can I get an image printed on nice textured paper? [more inside]
I’m trying to find a poem that I originally saw on either Facebook or Instagram. It began with something like this (in meaning/sentiment but not in exact words) Your determination to rely only on yourself/ Is something that we can no longer afford. The poem goes on to address the reader, arguing that strong communities are built through relationships of interdependence in which people choose to rely on each other. Rather than simply encouraging the reader to reach out for help, it frames their/our stubborn insistence on pure self-reliance as a selfish act that weakens community by denying others the opportunity connect with us and each other through mutual aid. It may have come out of disability activism or possibly permaculture circles. Not necessarily a published poem from a book - possibly just a screenshot of a Tumblr post. Does this ring a bell for anyone?
I am looking for a regular social activity I can organise and invite friends and acquaintances to, which does not require ongoing commitment or skill. [more inside]
Is it worth it to involve homeowners insurance in a water damage claim? The cost of fixing could be anywhere between "just clears the deductible" to "remodel your kitchen" depending on whether we'd go for just the bare minimum to address the immediate problem or something more extensive. [more inside]
I have a pair of Baretraps boots with ~2" heel, and they are terribly uncomfortable. The problem seems like the outer mid-foot/outside arch area is too high maybe? The soles are hard as rocks and that particular area weirdly is where all the weight lands, not the heel or the ball. I stuck in a pair of half-sole heel gel inserts, and they helped some but still not great. What can I do to fix this? Would a cobbler be able to help?
I need a tablet for school and I'm not sure which one will work best for my needs. [more inside]
In about a week, I will be at the Long Beach Convention Center in California. I don't know if I will have time off, but if I did, are there any used book stores that shouldn't be missed? Anything else there that is a must see? [more inside]
Just came home from the SPCA with 3 foster kittens for a week... hope me, a complete noob. [more inside]
My grandmother was married to a man named "Paul" for 35 years. I grew up with him as my grandfather. After my grandmother died, the whole family's relationship with him deteriorated to the point of zero contact. After not speaking to Paul for over 10 years he found my email address and sent me a message this week. He is 85 years old now, and I'm not sure how to respond (lots of details below the fold). [more inside]
I would like a reference book or web site for cooking with an Instant Pot. I want actual guidelines on how to figure out how long to cook things, how to think about natural vent versus fast vent, how to adapt recipes, etc. [more inside]
I had pneumonia about four weeks ago, without any symptoms such as a cough, cold or breathlessness. I'd like to understand this better and know whether I can do anything to prevent it happening again. I've also now got a bad cold with breathlessness and would like to know whether there's any risk of this re-igniting pneumonia. [more inside]
I have a week-long business trip to Japan (near Osaka) scheduled at the end of May, if I were to tack on a few days where would I go? [more inside]
Another name-that-book-title question. The twist is that usually people want to know the name of a book that they loved; I want to know the name of this particular book because I disliked it so very much. [more inside]
I took a long hiatus form reading authors I was unfamiliar with, but I'm ready to get back to reading new-to-me authors after several positive experiences. Please recommend some I will enjoy. [more inside]
I have the paid, commercial-free version of Hulu. I know this allows me all of Hulu's catalog, but I'm trying to figure out which TV shows are limited in what's allowed on Hulu, for their currently-airing shows. [more inside]
I'm filling out a Statement of Identity form as part of the title process while buying a new house. There's a box on the form that looks like this: "My signature can be verified by: ___________________" What should I write in the box? [more inside]
Google Inbox is going away :(((((( Do you have any good suggestions for an Android-compatible replacement that also supports bundling messages by label? (I have terrible piles of email, and looking at all of it at once without some kind of pre-sorting and filtering is intensely stressful. Directly filing to directories is a good way to ensure that mail doesn’t get read.) A program that doesn’t bundle mail might be acceptable if you have a good alternate workflow for dealing with sorting email. BONUS POINTS for programs that supports providers other than Google.
Estranged middle daughter, aging parent, awol caretaker brother, and kitchen full of mouse turds.... help me sort this clusterfuck, please. [more inside]
How crowded/touristy does Vancouver Island get in June? [more inside]
I have a conundrum it was suggested I present to the cloud mind that is Metafilter. I bought this big old oak chest at a flea market today (it's probably 1300x600x600 mm or so) with three locks in the front, and but one key. [more inside]
I'm looking for better ways to manage the overwhelming number of pitches I get each day and not miss the tiny percentage I'm actually interested in. I'm looking for suggestions both for sorting through pitches and how to interact with the PR people contacting me. (I read last year that there are now six PR people for each journalist, and it feels like it.) [more inside]
My wife and I are expecting a baby girl in April. Since the beginning of the pregnancy we've been partial to a combo family name after each of our maternal grandmothers. It isn't feeling like "the name" though so we're going back to the drawing board. [more inside]
What is the hinge on this tubular purse frame called outside of the purse world? Web page describes it as a "barrel hinge", but searching barrel hinge comes up with something completely different. Any chance of sourcing same or similar hinges without buying a whole bag frame--maybe with faster shipping?
I’ve been asked to lead a bookclub next month at a bookstore. Yay! I’ve belonged to book clubs in the past, but not as a facilitator. The book is fiction, I will of course have read it at least once before we meet, and I’ll have a few prepared questions provided by the publisher available in advance. Treats and coffee will be provided. What do I need to know/do to encourage attendees (who will probably not know each other) to feel comfortable to join in the discussion and hopefully keep participants coming back?
Let's say you have to ask someone to do something for you over e-mail and they do not get back to you. How frequently can one (re)ask without coming off as a nag? [more inside]
We put on a booth every year at a big local dog show to educate people about our breed. Part of this booth is a screen displaying dog photos. I've always been worried that that the MacBook Pro we use for the slide show will wander off when my back is turned. So I'm looking for a better way. [more inside]
Asking for recommendations for a general purpose relatively inexpensive new laptop, [more inside]
I ordered some books directly from a press. When the package came, I found it full of totally different books. The company that fulfilled the order does not want it back. I now have four copies of a fairly specialized textbook. Can I dispose of these books as I see fit? In particular, would there be anything ethically wrong with selling them, e.g. on a used books website? [more inside]
Should I take my maiden name back in my divorce? In particular I'm wondering whether it would help or hurt me, even in a subtle way, in looking for a job. My married name is very Anglo, easy to spell, and I've had it for decades. My maiden name is very Italian and hard to spell. I live in a region that's super white, but many institutions--especially the ones I'd like to work at--are really working on diversity. Would it make any difference at all? I'm really not sure of my feelings on this so am trying to look at the practical aspects. Actually any reflections on your experience with changing your name would be welcome.
I've been seeing my therapist for about a year. We have a great rapport, but something is bothering me about seeing her. I feel like she's my friend even though she's not and I don't want her to be. Or maybe I just feel like therapy is weird because it is weird? [more inside]
There has been a sudden turn of events that has gotten me pretty upset. I could use some advice again. [more inside]
We're going to be in Melbourne, Australia for a month! What are cool things we should do, see and eat beyond the top 10 tourist items? Personal interest details inside... [more inside]
My 2012 Volvo C30's key fobs stopped working this afternoon. Both of them. I was able to unlock my car with the manual key in the driver's door, and start it (which disabled the alarm that was set off when I opened the door) to drive home.* However, there's a rapid clicking sound coming from (1) under my driver's seat and (2) the passenger door. And the sound continues even when the car is off and they key is out of the ignition. You can hear it from outside the car with both doors closed. [more inside]
I want to be able to screen mirror/play videos from a browser on my iPad or MacBook Pro on my tv. What cables do I need? [more inside]
Is there any way I can get my insurance company to reimburse out-of-network claims if the deadline for service/submitting has passed? What about expired checks from previous approvals? [more inside]
I visit CrooksAndLiars.com a few times a day to keep up on American politics (I'm a Canadian). All I do is watch the videos--I do not interact on the forums. However, I can no longer tolerate their clickbait hyperbole bullshit, terrible ads, and doubleclick battery-draining code... What's a good alternative site that curates videos re: American politics/news? Also, is there an equivalent site for Canadian politics?
So at work, during colder months, not in summer, I like to eat my lunches outside. The fridges in breakrooms gross me out. So I keep my lunches, which are always meatless, and are always sandwiches, wrapped in frozen ice packs in my trunk. Would you eat it? [more inside]
"A good-enough mother like porn, we know her when we see her." -- Winnicott, probably? [more inside]
I understand that "fresh" ones might be better or at least yield more, but would any usable amount of material be available after bones are burned, baked, incinerated, or whatever? [more inside]
Walkers in the winter, lend me your coats! If you were walking around a city in temperatures just below freezing, what coat would you choose? [more inside]
I’m interested in living in Weehawken and commuting to Hudson Yards. I don’t drive. (I WON’T drive). What’s living there like? What is the commute like? What else do I need to know?
I'm trying to find a kind of old boiled sweets that my partner remembers from the nineties, probably in the UK but possibly Cape Town. They were spherical, about the size of a marble (or a 5p coin) and brightly coloured, and some of them might have had stripes. They were fruit flavoured, and apparently referred to as humbugs (but they're not what I could now call a humbug). They came in a flat round tin. We were super excited when we found Simpkins travel sweets but sadly they're not right: they're too big and flat, and not brightly coloured enough. Any leads on what these might be or how to source them in the UK?
I like my job just fine once I get there and get underway. But I find I dread getting up in the morning. How can I brain hack/life hack this? [more inside]
I'm trying to add a "call to action" button to my Facebook business page but there doesn't seem to be an option to do so and googling provides no helpful information. Please help! [more inside]
I'm nauseated all the time, exhausted, and sad. What can I do to feel better while I’m likely to be sick for a while? [more inside]
I think I might be coming down with an ear infection. I would like to prevent it getting a toehold. [more inside]
My Mom is coming over for lunch on Sunday. My Mom is hard to feed, please help. [more inside]
I'm a little confused about my tax situation for last year due to a mistake made by my employer—they withheld income tax for the state in which they are located; I work remotely from another state. What do? [more inside]
How many UK nationals currently reside in the United States? How many are in the US without official authorization? How many have typically been arrested, detained, or deported in recent years? [more inside]
My dinner guest tonight is vegan, and I’m celiac. I’m planning the main menu item to be vegan lettuce wraps with peanut sauce and tofu or soy curls, carrots, cucumber, avocado, shiitakes, and vermicelli noodles for the filling. What side dishes should I make to go with it? [more inside]
I've got a new floof in the family, Waddells Hammbletonian Davenport, a long haired male Syrian hamster. Yay! I haven't had a hamster in 15+ years. He has a huge cage, appropriate bedding, and the best water bottle and laboratory-grade rodent food, but I need enrichment/toy ideas. What does your hamster love most? [more inside]
I have a friend who in recent times has experienced very rough, life-changing experiences, and is suffering quite a lot from it. They need a lot of support right now, and I can give some - but what do I do when they *may* be expressing paranoid delusions about non-existent risks to their safety? [more inside]
Recommend me your stories of occult detection! Assume that I have read the more familiar ones, alas. [more inside]
I don't particularly enjoy the taste of either parsley or dill, but thanks to my aerogarden starter kit I have a bounty of both. What uber-awesome recipes (or recipes that don't taste overwhelmingly parsley/dill-y) might just change my mind? [more inside]
My mom's car is in the shop for a few weeks, and she will need to share mine. The problem is that we don't live together (we're a couple miles apart) and our schedules have a lot of overlap, so we both want/need the car at the same time but never to go to the same places. Any tips for how to handle this in a way that maximizes convenience for both of us? [more inside]
I will need to fly from the EU to the US in April. Is it a good idea to book my usual route, which includes a transit stop in the UK, or is it better to find a different route that avoids Britain entirely? [more inside]
Hi! I have a Google+ (or Google Plus) brand page. I know Google+ for consumers is going away but what happens to brand pages? I can't find anything explaining what to expect. I had a notification in my brand account earlier this week that I accidentally closed! So I'm not sure what they were trying to tell me. I haven't gotten any communication from Google about the G+ brand page. Can anyone link to what will happen to brand pages after Google Plus shuts down?
The keyboard case I've been using with my ipad (9.7", 2017; plain, not Pro) is dying. Help me find a cheap replacement. [more inside]
I just got a job in Kent, WA, so need to move to that general area before the end of the month. I grew up in Western Washington, and I remember Kent always having something of a negative reputation. I imagine that, if this was ever accurate, it has changed somewhat in the intervening 15 years. So what's Kent like these days? [more inside]
I've been writing short stories and flash fiction on a blog for three years now. I've been published in several literary magazines. One of them even nominated me for the Pushcart Prize! What are my prospects from here? [more inside]
I’ll be going to an open bar, black tie wedding this weekend. I always get flustered when ordering and end up just asking for a vodka coke/cranberry or one thing equally simple. What should I be ordering to take advantage of a nice open bar that won’t be a total pain in the ass for the bar tender? [more inside]
My Paragard IUD has reached the end of its lifespan, but it's not ready to leave just yet. [more inside]
I'd like to use the extra buttons on my Japanese keyboard which has been mapped to an US setting. [more inside]
We are brand new pet owners. Complete novices. Our new cat's ears need to be cleaned twice a day for two weeks. It's been three days and we have not managed to do it a single time. This is AP pet ownership and I am totally out of my depth. [more inside]
There are tons of "hacks" to increase your productivity out on the web. If, say, you made an app employing any of these techniques (or a video showing how to use them), are you infringing on a copyright? Do you need permission to use these from the creator if your product earns sales or any money from these techniques? [more inside]
My body is terrible at regulating temperature. What can I do to not constantly be caught between heat waves and polar vortexes? [more inside]
I have poor circulation in my fingers. Even gloves rated as very-wintery leave my fingers in pain, assuming they don't just go straight numb (and then the pain comes later when they warm up). This can't be good for me. I don't want to do disposable handwarmers. There seem to be a lot of heated motorcycle gloves, but many of these want to plug into a system of some kind? I don't see a lot about heated gloves for bicycling. What are my options? How can I keep my hands warm on long commutes? They do not need to be waterproof, but that's a plus.
We recently bought a house and are preparing to move in next Friday. Until then, we're trying to eradicate a musty/moldy/old cat pee smell in the basement, where two bedrooms are located. An ozone generator seems like a good option for blasting away these things/smells, but it's hard to get a sense for how effective it'd be, or how dangerous. Or if there are other air purifiers we should use instead. [more inside]
Can I eat this?: Frozen quart of Tillamook Marionberry Pie ice cream, left in a 66 degree room for 10 hours, then put into freezer. I assume it was thoroughly melted, but I didn't open it.
A professional organization I'm involved with wants to fund a scholarship/grant for college students studying to go into our field. We don't want to deal with administering it and are happy to pay to have somebody else who knows what they're doing manage it. How can we do this? Is there a scholarship administration company you'd recommend? [more inside]
I want to re-upload 32,000 images to my Flickr Pro account, but I don't know how to save the information (tags, title, description) contained in the corresponding JSON files. Can someone explain to me if this is possible, and if so, how? [more inside]
So today I picked up an unknown number with a local area code (I rarely do this, but every once in a while I feel the need to take a sample and see if they're still all scams) and was treated to a lovely recorded message by Amy From The Healthcare Center. (My coworker got one earlier today about his extended auto warranty.) I am fully aware that this is a scam, but it got me wondering: if I hadn't hung up, what would have happened next? [more inside]
A female friend is in the process of separating from and divorcing her husband and doesn't know where to begin. Can you recommend resources (she's in the Atlanta suburbs) that can help her understand the process, give her support, and make sure she comes out of this whole? She particularly needs, but doesn't think she can afford, a lawyer. [more inside]
Aunt is supposed to attend a business conference in London on the 27th and 28th of March and then Brexit happens and I'm worried bad things will happen. [more inside]
I've been working for a freelance client remotely for a few years, and lately it's not working that well. I like the work, but the overarching problem is that she (an entrepreneur) is pretty disorganized, which is affecting my workload and enabling my own bad habits. Note: We live in different states. How can I help fix this situation? [more inside]
My tragic flaw: I have never backed up my personal laptop, save everything to Desktop or Download and now am overwhelmed by the idea of organizating it. I have Dropbox. Where do I begin? Help me organize and backup my computer(s). (I have laptops stretching back to 2001 in a box.) tl;dr - How do you organize your computer files and how do you continue to organize new files?
I was excited to hear he was interested in proposing this year. I shared my excitement on a wedding/engagement/relationship forum and everyone felt like this was a stalling tactic they've seen with many men and that 'this year' is too vague. Is this true? Is this often a stalling tactic? It saddened me to hear feedback that I needed a more definite timeline and that they said he seemed not interested. I know they're just strangers but if they see this is common, maybe it is true. Maybe I need to ask him for a more determined timeline like "spring" or "before x month" Thoughts? [more inside]
I'm looking for ways to dress more like David Rose (character on Schitts Creek) or Dan Levy, but on ... not the budget of the show. Ideally every piece would be below $100, but I have no idea how ridiculous that is. I am also open to the idea of sewing or modifying my own stuff. [more inside]
So there is a commercial airing that says people who take the pill can lose "up to an average of 12 pounds." I also hear possible savings described as "up to 5-10 percent" quite often. If I said "up to" I would only state the maximum possible and not a range or an average. Are these just sloppy sentences or is there something I am missing?
I'm taking my mother to the Broad museum downtown on Saturday - any recommendations for a good place to eat dinner? Nothing too fancy, we're pretty open on kinds of food.
I am gathering examples of book covers with people falling, or in mid-air. This seems to have been a trend in book cover design in recent years. Thanks in advance!
Can you recommend a good sticker printing service? I'm looking to print 200-300 stickers, cut-to-size or sheet, to arrive by Feb 20th. The stickers would be a circle (2 inch diameter) and would ideally be water resistant. [more inside]
I'm looking to create sympathy cards with very little text on them. Think the type of card you would stick with a bouquet to gift someone grieving. All the cards i find online are terrible looking, with even worse text on them. What would you suggest/would have liked to receive yourself, beyond the common "with deepest sympathy" or "words are never enough" ? [more inside]
I had knee surgery 4 weeks ago and though frequently feeling on the verge of tears, can't seem to have a good old cry. Why? And any ideas to get me going? [more inside]
I’m deliberately cutting down on my sponcon and other advertising content but as a consequence when I really do want some dorky inspiring thing I don’t know where to look. Do you have a recommendation for a day planner that is functional and makes you feel, uh, cool? [more inside]
I was raised non-religiously in a nominally Catholic family, but I've never believed in God. However, I went to college at a Jewish university, my ex-husband was Jewish, my social circle is predominately Jewish, and my current boyfriend is Jewish. I've been Jewish-adjacent for decades. When I married my ex, I didn't convert because of the atheism thing. But my boyfriend asked me to marry him yesterday, and this loud, clear voice in my head boomed "you should convert." But can I? [more inside]
I am working on a text for school, and one of my professors is adamant that I should use a comma between what she calls a "parenthetical gerund phrase" (or something) and the verb. I hate this comma with a passion because it looks horrible and feels wrong. However I am not a native English speaker so I am not super confident about this. Is this comma really a thing? (Examples, after, clicking). [more inside]
I am trying to find academic articles on highlighting why Woolf's A Room of One's Own, Chapter 3, Shakespeare's Sister, is important for creative female writers, literary scholars, and/or literary communities in general. [more inside]
I'm looking for recommendations of current solo games that have a strong whiff of vintage RPG or boardgaming in their mechanics, art, and pace. [more inside]
My partner has very high expectations of people and expects them to be consistent all of the time. Are you like this, or are you in a relationship like this? How do you successfully communicate and move past disagreements? [more inside]
Watching this week's Project Runway reminded me of a dress that was similar in construction to one of the designer's dresses. Both dresses in question had diamond shaped cutouts at the midriff with knots or twists to help form the diamond shapes. This dress from Lulu's is a similar style. [more inside]
My sons (age 14 and 11) have convinced me to buy a Playstation 4 for the family. I am probably going to buy the Spider-Man bundle (but could be convinced to buy a different version). What I am really looking to know is what games should I get to start with, and what accessories do I need? [more inside]
I put them in cold water woolen cycle. [more inside]
I am giving my SO the Valentine's Day gift of a month's worth of home baking. However, my baking knowledge extends to and ends with apple crumble. The SO loves chocolate, so the two challenges are a) ease and b) chocolate or so delicious it doesn't matter that chocolate isn't in it. Cookies, brownies, maybe I could pull off a cake or breads, anything! Hope me and thank you!
Can I apply nail polish to just the tips of my nails? Alternately: Is there any nail care routine I can follow that takes very minimal maintenance to keep lasting? [more inside]
My work has some money this year to send me to a conference or training within the US. Are there any fun or useful ones people can recommend? Fields can range from cool methods trainings, social sciences, tech, youth, fed policy, consumer behavior, logistics.... if it’s something really interesting or that you’ve enjoyed, I can spin it!
I’m looking for blogs/communities for “regular” wealthy people. [more inside]
I'm house hunting. I've seen eight of them so far, and I'm getting to a point where I feel the need to make a final decision, no takebacks. I want a house for the sake of having a house at this point but I also want a house that adds to my overall financial health (good resale value, the type of house I can rent out, etc.) I am a single person with no kids looking for a two-bedroom starter home on a relatively low income. [more inside]
Books that examine authors through a critical feminist lens, either in favor of or against their work?
We live in the UK. We're getting our bathroom in our house (which we own) substantially redone - this involved structural work in the floor, knocking out walls, etc and an all new design. It's a big job, and expensive. TL;DR: almost done, figured out they screwed something up under the floor and it looks like they have to redo it from scratch. [more inside]
What's a good gift to help a friend celebrate, and care for herself, during a long-anticipated but uncertain transition in her life? [more inside]
Cuban friend in Peru seeking asylum in US. How can I help? [more inside]
My library doesn't keep records of what I've checked out (good), but when I try to remember a book I read to see if the author has anything else, I'm out of luck. More of the book I'm trying to remember inside [more inside]
One of my coworkers in my new workplace has a communication style that I find absolutely exhausting. He is, by all accounts, a perfectly decent person, but I come out of every conversation with him (and even sometimes conversations I'm not part of - if I'm overhearing something elsewhere in the office, etc) with my muscles tense, pulse racing, and feeling bad because I did not express myself as well as I could have. How do I deal? [more inside]
But the options that I've found are neither of those things. I have been offered a short freelance gig but in order to start work I will need to sign an NDA. I would rather not sign anything, even a seemingly basic NDA, without knowing what the risks are. [more inside]
Specifically, I'm looking for modern genre examples. Not Austen, not Flaubert, but popular novels published within the last ten years, preferably in 3rd Person. I've read lots of book about Deep POV, but I've been unable to find many modern novels written using it. Help!
I like books about tiny “people.” I particularly like when they live alongside or under the noses of humans. There must be people writing these books now as with YA or adult reads, especially with the growth of urban fantasy. Are there books or series or authors you can recommend? [more inside]
How does one present as bi? [more inside]
Amazingly, I seem to have caught up on all the shows I wanted to watch, but there must be more! [more inside]
Kinkfilter: What's the line between having a satisfied service sub and taking advantage of them for free labor? [more inside]
The librarian said they didn't have a phone book and "that's all online now." Is this common? Are phone books disappearing? [more inside]
Just that simple. Those of you who have experience with selling things on Craigslist/NextDoor, etc, how do you come up with an asking price? Algebraic formula, gut instinct, throwing darts at a bull’s eye? Any guidance you can give would be appreciated, as well as any other secrets to your Craigslist success.
Was the "stomp stomp clap" rhythm a thing prior to "We Will Rock You" by Queen? Are there any pre-Queen songs or other performances that use it? Thanks.
I'm falling in love with the host of Dinner Party Tonight on YouTube. She's strong, she's funny, she's edgy, and she confidently teaches you a bunch of great stuff about cooking. I'm looking for other podcasts and YouTube series with similar hosts. Does not need to be cooking-related. [more inside]
Is it possible to perform a do-it-yourself plumbing repair on pipes leading to street? [more inside]
I just downloaded Siempo and it's great. It's helped me realize how challenging it is to balance my relationship to technology. I don't consider myself addicted or anything, but I miss.... being offline. I'm old enough to remember the days before the internet, and I miss them. Though I'm not looking to quit the internet just yet, I think books on the subject of reconnecting and living intentionally would be helpful. Here's one example. Any others you'd suggest? If not a book, is there a habit or exercise that you find restorative?
YANMD, TINMA. For the past few days, I've had an occasional sensation on the lower outside of my leg slightly below my right knee which feels like a skin "tightness" or surface abrasion, like a rugburn. But it's not. [more inside]
Is US Cellular running an ad featuring a Windows phone right now? Someone told me they are running an ad with a Microsoft-branded phone, meaning they are selling the discontinued Lumia, right? Has anyone seen something like this? It’d have been on TV or Hulu. Their website has some Windows Mobile stuff but I can’t tell how recent it is. I’m trying to confirm or deny hazy second-hand information.
I'm trying to find a way to open Eudora's mailbox files (.mbx) and am very suspicious of the results I get. Anyone know of a viewer that isn't just a malware repository? [more inside]
My doctor gave me instructions to purchase a patellar stabilizing brace (online, to save me money). Is there an alternative brace that accomplishes the same biomechanical goal (and is unobtrusive i.e. very low profile) without compressing too much? [more inside]
As it says. I remember making his curry powder and it was honestly the best. I was sure it was in one of the 60-Minute Gourmet books, but I don’t see it there. Any help?
Instagram is full of amazing satellite photography, especially of urban centers, monuments, landscape engineering, so where are the satellite photography books ? Not interested in just nature photography.
I met a guy through an old friend, and we hit it off. Trouble is, he and my friend have a bit of history, and now she doesn't want to talk to me. Snowstorm inside. [more inside]
Some of you remember my awful relationship posts. Well, things are better. We aren't fighting, and when we do fight it's over quickly. My partner is meeting more of my needs more of the time, emotionally and domestically. But I am so run down. More after the cut. [more inside]
I have a Dell Inspiron 13 7375 (AMD Ryzen 5) running Windows 10. It works very well in general, but occasionally freezes completely. when I say freeze, I mean it ceases responding to any input, completely and instantly. [more inside]
This was an amusing little B-movie on a rainy weekend when I was a kid, but I have only one really specific memory by which to search for it. [more inside]
For the first time in my life, I have a decent, well-paying job... but when can I leave? [more inside]
I had my bachelorette party last weekend. It was a ton of fun and my friends organized an incredible night out. However, we went to the strip club and ever since I've felt this intense, surging embarrassment and a sense of "trauma" associated with the event. [more inside]
I love rollercoasters, and am planning an amusement park road trip with my son that is built around riding a whole bunch of them. But in my middle age I have started to get motion sickness from riding. It's the standard queasiness and bellyache stuff, where I feel like I'm gonna barf and then can't eat afterward. The internet suggests that Sea-Bands or Dramamine or [insert miracle cure] all work great, and simultaneously that none of them work at all. Do you have a strategy/regimen that has helped you keep riding?
I saw a scene from a kdrama where the students make a complicated plan to cheat on a math test and it involves a seating chart and swapping papers in a specific order. [more inside]
I am looking to have a procedure that is not covered by my insurance policy. I'll be self pay, but will likely need credit or a loan for the remaining amount. Looking for people who have experience using Care Credit or Prosper. [more inside]
The car dealership sold us our 2015 Subaru Forester with the wrong size tires, with a remote starter installed (that we didn't know about) - but without the fob - and lastly, with illegal tinting. I have this information and now I have to go back to them and...ask them to do what? [more inside]
I have a boring grey and white bathroom with white marble floors. I bought these cabinet knobs to jazz things up. What shower curtain should I get to go along with them? The only other decor in the room is photography from a trip to Tunisia so I guess I'm going for a Mediterranean or Moroccan type thing. [more inside]
My teeth are all messed up since we added elastics to my braces a few days ago. Please tell me your stories of similar orthodontic disaster. [more inside]
My oven just bit the dust. How do I buy a new oven? What do I look for? Are there any that you especially recommend? Are they all pretty much the same unless you go super high end or super low end? Help me, Metafilter. Additional questions and criteria within! [more inside]
I'm from DC and am visiting my dad in eastern Oregon (Baker City) for a few days. On the drive from Boise airport I stopped at a truck stop just west of Ontario (Fruitvale?) and found a shivering skinny pup who looks like a Chihuahua mix. Any ideas on finding his people? [more inside]
I teach adjunct at a great university, but yeah, well, adjunct. I found a job listing recently at a nice private school for a high school/middle school journalism teacher. I'd love thoughts on what this might be like or if it would be a good fit. [more inside]
Our lovely 3 month old hates to go to sleep. I mean, she really HATES it. But sleeptime (both naps and bedtime) is becoming more and more of an ordeal and I’m slowly losing it. Please hope me. Wall of text of info inside. [more inside]
When generating a PDF, why would Adobe Illustrator still embed a font that has been completely converted to paths? [more inside]
So my Kickstarter was funded, but now there is a growing demand for international shipping for the physical rewards. The USPS reps I've spoken to have been less than helpful and I've not received a consistent answer as to what constitutes a 'Package' and 'Large Envelope' - but I have a plan so cunning you can exsanguinate a cow with it that I'd like to run by you, especially people familiar with the Royal Mail... [more inside]
What I am most concerned about is limiting what harm I can do to the people around me when I get into a state. In a lot of ways I am poorly equipped for it. One person in particular keeps wandering into my vicinity when I'm upset and they are often collateral damage. [more inside]
A powerlifiting podcast I'm listening to has a motto I'd like to translate into latin. Can the linguistic hive help out or know where to turn? [more inside]
I’ll be in Israel during Shauvot this June and am wondering whether there’s anything special I might need to know about visiting at this time. [more inside]
I have failed in finding a video link for a video in the Indian "Ring the Bell" anti-violence campaign that features a postal worker. It has been recommended. Is your google-fu stronger than mine?
I bought two coats yesterday. This is great news apart from one thing: they smell very strongly of the store I bought them from, and it's not a neutral smell. What are my options for getting the smell out of these coats? [more inside]
My housemate's cat ran out of the house as I was taking the recycling out. I tried finding it but no luck. How do I handle this? [more inside]
Partner's past experiences have contributed to a specific insecurity which we are unable to resolve. Details follow. [more inside]
I know mefites love their therapy. I've never tried it before, but am strongly considering it. The only way I can hack it is to find the exact special snowflake I would need in order to be able to be that vulnerable, and in order to feel better instead of worse. [more inside]
So two years ago you all gave me advice on a job search, now I'm looking for advice on a search for a better job. The thing is, I despise cover letters - even the examples I find on line of "spectacular" cover letters seem like they have one foot in insincere and the other in insipid. But I'm slogging through and I'm to that last paragraph...and everything I type seems awful to me. Tell me about the cover letter that sang to you. Help me stop overthinking this plate of beans.
I had a night out with some coworkers recently and I'm wondering whether I was being flirted with by one of them. [more inside]
I've picked out a glass tile for our bathroom that I'm pretty in love with. The contractor at first complained because it was more difficult to install, and now is claiming that because our house is built on unstable soil that we can expect a catastrophic failure at some point. Does he have a point? [more inside]
I have identified my mystery mole pepper- it's a Chilhuacle negro! Great! Only the wiki page for the pepper is in Italian, and most other pages about it are in Spanish. I know it's a Mexican mole pepper, and mine seems to have become a perennial. How do I care for it so that I can get good sized peppers this summer and fall? [more inside]
What are your day-to-day no-tech life tips? I'm looking for things like the knuckle rule for cooking rice, or that the perfect amount of salad dressing is just enough to coat the serving bowl. There must be lots of these things--incredibly straightforward and always foolproof. Can be cooking related or not; super low-tech, like using the mesh bag that onions come in to scrub pans, is also okay!
My partner and I are discussing the idea of me moving in to the home he owns (yay!), and we've started talking about finances. Can you help us figure out options for splitting costs fairly, given big differences in our means and how we will use the space? Any tips for managing shared expenses in our situation? [more inside]
I recently started a job with an organization that isn’t great. What should I do, and how do I tell my references? [more inside]
I'm looking for the kind of cheapo mattress pad that's just a rectangle of flat quilted cotton with loops of elastic on the corners. I want it to protect my featherbed without squishing it the way I think one with the full elasticated skirt would. What the heck is my search term and where can I find one in double/full size? Maybe they're not even made any more? So frustrated!
Exactly that. I'm seeking recommendations for a career counselor. I'd like to find someone who does not confine their work to any geographical area and is experienced and professional. I know that a professional expects to get paid and I expect to pay for their services. [more inside]
I have plans to be in Ottawa this weekend so that I can skate the length of the Rideau Canal. So I was very dismayed to see that the entire canal is closed today. What are the chances that I'll be ice skating this weekend? What should I do if I can't? [more inside]
I'm hosting my first ever dinner party this weekend. It's for 10 people and I'm a good planner and a good cook. I've taken many tips from Ina Garten about how to host a good dinner party; I'll be doing an easy, make ahead appetizer with some home made but also store bought elements. I've got an easy but show stopping main course that won't require too much cooking in the moment and a dessert I can make the day before but.... [more inside]
Unmarried 21F eight months pregnant wants to give baby up for adoption. Uninvolved father won't "consent" to the process...what now? [more inside]
I've got a commute of about 16 miles on the highway to get to work, and I'd really rather not buy a second full size car. But other than motorcycles (which I'm too cowardly to even contemplate, even leaving aside the weather), there doesn't appear to be anything on the market that fills the niche of a cheap, one person, highway vehicle. [more inside]
I like my movies to be more like stylish music videos. What else should I check out? Examples within. [more inside]
I am a woman, and I want to use men's cologne or scent. I like scents designed/marketed for men better than those for women, but I don't want to have to buy all the colognes to find the right one, and I hate shopping in person. I like a woodsy scent -- right now I am in love with the Tom's of Maine Deep Forest Men's Deodorant, but the scent fades by mid-day and is not very nuanced. I'd like to find something woodsy, spicy, cedar-y, and masculine, without smelling like Irish Spring or generically perfume-y. [more inside]
I remember reading a fairly adult horror comic in the 90's that I would love to find again. [more inside]
I'm in the midst of a job search and have a very promising lead for a job where the one and only problem I have with it is that the office is physically located in an ugly neighborhood. Help me get over my snootiness. [more inside]
Hello everyone. I would like to find this glass: https://i.redd.it/7xp4p7jb6ds11.jpg. (Muffin top not needed.) Does it look familiar to anyone? I have tried the Google and not yet found it. It must be somewhere. I feel like I would be happier with it (x8). Thanks!
My boyfriend started out very sweet, engaged, excited, and involved but things have slowly devolved into silence, tension, lack of affection, and an inability to communicate despite how much reading and therapy and effort I'm trying to put in. I don't know what happened or how to give things one more attempt before throwing in the towel for good. [more inside]
It is time to blast open butts. I am regret to inform you that this question is about poop. [more inside]
I, a country squire, have started to feel stifled by my Subaru Forester. I’ve started thinking that my next vehicle should be a light duty pickup. Am I right, given the uses and requirements inside? [more inside]
This is the year I will finally start to learn the bass guitar. I have been looking at used ones on Craigslist. Other than one that will stay tuned, what do I need to look for/stay away from? And amps?
I'm considering having a truth and reconciliation/accountability conversation with someone. If you've participated in such a conversation, I'd like to hear from you. [more inside]
I'm pregnant and interested in trying out a chiropractor. There are a good dozen or so who claim to specialize in pregnancy-related chiropractic work in my area. Any tips on finding a good one? Anything to watch out for? Thanks!
Do you know a good tax expert in Canada familiar with up to date IRS stuff for Americans who have never lived in the US? [more inside]
Yesterday I was stuck in one for 20 plus minutes! A fellow volunteer was telling me how their previous session went and they repeated the same 5 sentences about 5 times each. I can't leave, I tried to change the subject and even bring in a third person to help, but they kept circling. I need tips on how to stop that in the future. [more inside]
Tomorrow night, I will be delivering several pieces of *big* news (happy, exciting news - for me, anyway!) to my parents. I’d prefer not to disclose too many specifics here at this time, but it’s the type of news any loving parent in a healthy relationship with their children would be overjoyed to hear. The problem? My parents are risk averse, suspicious people who use emotional blackmail when they’re personally uncomfortable with a decision one of their children has made. [more inside]
A younger relative (in her late 20s, but emotionally/mentally more like a teenager due to a mild disability) attends a weekly community group. An older man has started bringing her flowers and saying she is the only reason he attends the group meetings. Last week he asked for a kiss and she compromised with a hug although not really wanting too. My question is, can you think of some simple things she can say to him to firmly head off these advances? Ideally I will practise saying them with her so she feels confident. [more inside]
Last Monday night I installed some sort of update to my Android phone. Since then, I haven't had any mobile data or service. [more inside]
What are the most beautiful places in America I can visit without a driver's license? [more inside]
Any idea where I could get the pattern for Wonderart Lion Latch Hook Kit, 27" X 40" without re-buying the whole kit? [more inside]
I heard Mitski's "Your Best American Girl" recently and thought to myself - I really love the "power ballad" setup of this song, and I wish it would make a bigger comeback! On Wikipedia's entry for power ballad, the newest example is Velvet Revolver's "Fall to Pieces" (2004), which I remember hearing on both rock and Top 40 stations back then. Of course, power ballads had mostly fallen out of fashion by then from their '70s-'80s peak. So, what are your favorite "power ballads" from 2004 or later?
I got a pound of pre-peeled shrimp yesterday and the texture is really weird. [more inside]
I am looking for some books to read and general advice for starting a small business/restaurant. [more inside]
I have a 4 years old Asus X751L laptop that charges just fine...until i turn it off. Then the only way for it to charge again is to switch the outlet. It's not the electricity issue, the same happens in multiple different buildings. It is very irritating because I tend to forget about it sometimes and it happens a lot that it just turns off with no warning - because it's empty. What should i look for? To change the battery, the charger? Any advice?
Not sure if this is a failing in my Google-fu, a rare edge case, or if it's not really possible, but I'm trying to write a bash script that will write the full contents of an array into an arbitrary point in an existing file. [more inside]
Difficulty level: I am not an idiot but I don't understand economics and have found superficial forays daunting. [more inside]
We have a two-acre section of land in Northern CA, zone 9a. We want to do something other than just grow weeds on it. [more inside]
Can I back up my Macbook to an external drive that has other files on it, without affecting or erasing those files? I have a nice solid state external drive with plenty of room on it. Can I use it for a new Time Machine backup of about 300gb without hurting the files that are already saved to it? How to do it if possible, just put the backup in a new folder on the external drive?
Mefites who have planned a wedding: what elements do you wish you had worried less about, not spent (as much) money on, or skipped entirely? Alternatively, what are you glad you did de-prioritize? What do wish you had spent more money or time on? [more inside]
pls help me find out if I can get these files back or not [more inside]
Today I listened to, for the first time to my knowledge, the apparently widespread and famous song by The Cure, In Between Days. I am intimately familiar with song, but I don't know why. The wiki doesn't list many popular culture appearances of the song, I'm a Paramore fan but I'm certain it's not their SirusXM cover. Why do I know it? [more inside]
I'm trying to reinforce my morning routine, because I'm happier when I stick to it. I'm motivated by tracking. So I'm looking for a simple app where I can push the button to say "I'm here" and see my stats. Any ideas? [more inside]
I recently found out about puzzle books and my partner and I completed The Librarian's Almanaq last month and loved it. Can you recommend more of the same please?! I know there is a sequel to that one on Kickstarter: Conjurer's Almanaq. We enjoyed the variety of puzzles it provided and just solving it together over a period of time (maybe like 5 or 6 evenings) and that it was a screen-free activity too. Whatcha got?
I encouraged a friend to seek treatment for ADHD. They did (yay!) But I'm not sure the therapist they've chosen is the right person, and now I don't know how far I should go in convincing them to see someone else. [more inside]
I had a personal website. I have a common name, so I used my first, middle, and last names as the url. I took the site down, but would like to keep the url—with a potential eye to launching it again in a few years, and for liability purposes (I don’t want my url to become a notorious site, since it is my f/m/l names). What’s the cheapest way to keep the url on ice, given that I don’t want actually want to host anything? Currently on Godaddy.
Groundhog Day and certain recent Netflix releases have me wanting to fine-tune my Spotify alarm playlist. I want to copy the nice people on the TV and what they woke up to; this should either be jarring enough to actually make me wake up or make me smile as I hit snooze. [more inside]
I've been asked to copy ISBNs or similar identifying numbers from thousands of hard copy books, in to Excel. Is there an efficient way of doing this? I'm hoping for a technique that's easier than typing each number into a spreadsheet. For example, is there an app/device that will OCR selected text on a printed page (and exclude surrounding text)? Can the same app/device transfer the OCRed numbers in to a simple text/csv file - or directly in to Excel? [more inside]
I'm trying to figure out how keep my sheet music organised. My folders look like this. Ideally I'd have them alphabetized, but then each time I add a new sheet, I'll have to shift everything else. The other option is just to put them in as they come and have a frequently updated table of contents up front. Just wondering if I'm missing a better solution. [more inside]
2 and 1/2 year old roof leak around gas flue/pipe [more inside]
We are moving to Oregon in a few months! Please help me choose an appropriate vehicle for the Willamette Valley area. [more inside]
My husband and I will be in New Orleans for five days including the weekend of February 23-24. How best to navigate the pre-Mardi Gras festivities to maximize your enjoyment when we are the type who prefer museums and jazz to drinking and crowds. What do we need to know about watching the parades? Also, for people who have already seen the famous tourist sites, what else do you recommend? [more inside]
Some friends and I, in the US, very much want to watch the movie Esto no es Berlín/This Is Not Berlin, which apparently recently appeared at Sundance. None of us pay any attention to movies in general, we're just gay Mexican-art nerds who are excited about this one. ELI5 how to figure out when/whether it will get a wider release, and ideally how to get some kind of notification when that happens.
I am totally frustrated with my friend and I don't know if the source of my frustration is going to change. [more inside]
I grew up on one coast, went to college in a rural town on the other, and am slowly but not particularly successfully readjusting to life not far from where I began. Snowflakes after the cut, I guess. [more inside]
What is the probability distribution (??) of card deals in a deck if the deck is reshuffled before the end is reached? [more inside]
I can't sort through the tax jargon, but did I get screwed by Trump's tax plan? [more inside]
Help me find these laid back books please [more inside]
One way we like to spend holidays while still getting exercise and not gaining weight is to do "walking holidays"; basically, the idea is doing moderate length hikes on foot every day, ideally traveling from one hotel/b&B to the next over several days, and a service both plans it and transfers your luggage for you so your daily pack is light. This has worked well for us for several UK vacations, Iceland, and more recently the Douro valley in Portugal, but I'm looking for recommendations for other places. [more inside]
In my head, I'm still the kid who's always left out. In real life, people suddenly want to hang out with me. How do I handle freewheeling social-professional situations with nebulous plans and lots of unconnected social circles who want to hang out? [more inside]
My young daughter and I discovered Scary Stories Told In the Dark and she LOVED it. It quickly turned into Our Thing where'd we'd listen together whenever on car rides. Unfortunately, some of the stories are not appropriate for her age -- course language, adult themes, or WAY TOO EXPLICITLY GORY -- and there's no warning given ahead of time that a particular episode might he one to skip. [more inside]
I'm about to finish up my grad program and my school doesn't have any way for alumni to find each other (my program is brand new and there's not a lot of infrastructure yet). So far, we've set up a Google doc where folks can add in whatever contact info they feel comfortable with, their academic interests, and any other relevant stuff. It is basically a list of people's personal emails and it gets the job done, but I feel like there's got to be something better out there. [more inside]
I play the saxophone and practice at home. It's a loud instrument, but so far none of my neighbors have complained and I'm hoping to stay on a friendly footing. So, what in the hive mind's opinion is the earliest time of day that no reasonable person would be likely to complain about sax practice, (a) on weekdays, (b) on weekends and holidays?
I am looking for a UHD (3840x2160) or 4k (4096x2160 that I can crop) image of the Minneapolis,MN skyline that I can use as wallpaper on my computer... [more inside]
My desktop computer updated and now I can’t get it to start. [more inside]
Is there any way I can salvage a seat cushion that's full of milk? [more inside]
How long does it take thioridazine to become effective? [more inside]
I'm anxious about meeting up with old friends in a place I used to live and would love some advice on how to have a great trip. [more inside]
I'm going to a large (45k attendees) professional conference (HIMSS) the week after next, and I'm looking for some tips on how to make this a good experience. I have attended a lot of regional conferences and smaller national conferences, and I tend to feel like I am not getting max benefit out the them. Some of my questions: What is the best way to interact with vendors? Is it worthwhile to interact with vendors we already do business with? How do I meet new people without being weird? [more inside]
For 2019, I'm doing an A-Z reading challenge (one book for each letter of the alphabet, all published in 2018). I'm having trouble coming up with some of the letters, particularly X -- I guess no one was writing about Xena Warrior Princess last year or something -- so I'm turning to the Hive Mind for help; open to suggestions for other books on the proposed list as well. Full list inside. [more inside]
I’m not certain of the exact timeframe, but shortly after the 2016 election I read an article online reviewing the philosophical arguments for a conscientious person staying in a system they find to be harmful in an attempt to make it better versus leaving the system in protest because staying would make them complicit. While the premise was working in the Trump administration, the bulk of the article was situation-agnostic and discussed different philosopher’s opinions. My attempts to find this article have been in vain. Help me, Mefi!
I've (26F) been hanging out with a new friend (~30F) once every couple of weeks since September. We knew each other online for maybe a couple of years before we met in person. We hung out last night and as we were hugging goodbye, I think she wanted to kiss, but I'd like to know for certain, mainly because I wouldn't be opposed to that possibility. [more inside]
It has been repeated in the Utah press that Norman Mailer, in The Executioner's Song, described state street in Orem, Utah as the ugliest street in America. Although undoubtedly true, I am unable to find Mailer doing anything other than describe the horror of state street, without using the phrase "ugliest street in America." Can you help me locate the text where Mailer says this, if it does exist?
I'm planning a family road trip (two adults, 4 year old, 2 year old) to the less visited Southern Utah Parks. Looking for ideas and guidance! [more inside]
Not being happy with any ToDo app I've tried, I want to write my own web-based one. I have excellent development and database skills, but not a lot experience with the latest web application frameworks. What framework should I use? [more inside]
After a lot of thought and a good bit of therapy, I'm starting the move from a standard office developer to a more freelance software career. This is a prospect I view with not a little trepidation, but it feels right. I've got at least a year (and maybe more) of building a portfolio, picking up side gigs, and starting to build a business. [more inside]
I need to set up a blog and would like to avoid it being indexed by search engines. How can I accomplish this with minimal hassle and expense? [more inside]
I am having a moment in the news, and I would like to do a Reddit "Ask Me Anything" / "I Am A". Do you have any advice for me that will make it a better experience? Have you ever done one or talked with someone who did? What should I know? Any tips are appreciated.
I currently feed my dog, Gatsby Taste of the Wild High Prairie Puppy food (he's on puppy food for another 6 months, then we'll go to dog food). It's grain-free, with protein from high-quality sources (not weird byproducts). But I've recently read an article that says that, not only is grain-free not doing anything to help dogs, it could hurt them. So now I'm confused. Please help me figure out what food is the best for him. [more inside]
My spouse and I can't decide whether to go to France or the Netherlands on our honeymoon this spring on our somewhat limited budget; help us decide and whether our budget is realistic! [more inside]
I paid a friend for a ticket to a concert three months ago for a concert that will happen at the end of this month. I learned around Christmas that my job required me to fill in for a conference the same day as the concert. I asked my friend to sell the ticket but I think they may just keep the money. Should I push more on it or is it fair for them to keep the money? [more inside]
I need a low-maintenance place to sequester myself occassionally to get work done, but I'd like some income when I'm not there. And some kind of activity, like skiing. [more inside]
So I've got a group of organizations. Each organization has a group of board-members. Board-members can serve on multiple organizations. How do I best save this data so that I can easily jump between viewing at the organization level and the individual level? [more inside]
I would like to expand my music library. There are only 2 qualifiers: 1. They're Asian 2. They're American [more inside]
Just bought a used vehicle, and it came with two Autostart remotes...that don't seem to do anything. Should they? [more inside]
8 year old niece loves chapter books, graphic novels, and singing. Birthday present hope me? Books ideal but other gift ideas welcome.
My partner and I will be in Toronto at the end of February and would appreciate some suggestions for restaurants. We will be in the Little Italy neighborhood with walking our preferred mode of transportation. Thanks in advance, AskMeFi. :)
My lovely wife, our 11 yo and myself will be in Búzios, Brazil for her birthday. Where should we go for dinner? [more inside]
I have written most of a song that ended up sounding like the Mountain Goats, a band I’m not as familiar with as I should be. I’ve decided to lean into that and give it a tMG-esque title. What’s a good title for a Mountain Goats-esque original song? (FWIW the song is about being a late bloomer.)
Recently a friend of mine who did voiceover work in his youth (nearly 25 years ago) told me that I have a really great speaking voice and he could see me having some success at it if I tried. How does one pursue this? [more inside]
This is a weird spoon! (Bananas for scale). What kind of spoon is it, and where can I buy one?
My boss criticizing me for something that is very clearly his fault sets off a large bonfire of anger in me, each time. I know this doesn't happen for everyone. Some people can let untrue things roll off their back -- can ignore ignorant criticism because they know where it comes from. If you are such a person -- how do you do it? What do you say to yourself in moments like that? For those who'd rather not read below the fold, assume in your answer that such ignoring is logistically safe. [more inside]
Apparently it's not that easy to have it all. Help a not-so-young-anymore woman prioritize career and the other stuff. [more inside]
My husband prepares coffee using a Clever Dripper. Recently, the filter comes apart at the bottom seam so it lets grounds come through when he “releases” the coffee. We have tried two different types of filters and it happens to both. Not every time but enough times to be annoying. What are we doing wrong? [more inside]
I made masala infused vodka. It is divine. I tried it in some cocktails but none have done it justice. Help me create the perfect masala vodka cocktail. [more inside]
My fiancee's flu symptoms are sort of oscillating in a way that's concerning me: is it normal for flu symptoms to recede and then come back? [more inside]
A nonprofit that a friend works at had someone make repeated donations - like 30 of them - online in a matter of minutes. Each donation was for something like $30 from the same credit card and address, though a different e-mail it seems. The last time this happened, their IT department shut down the donations portal. I don't really understand why IT bothered doing that and what the scam was or why it keeps happening. I'm curious though. Is this a common scam and what does it accomplish?
I hate shopping, but my work wardrobe is in serious need of a refresh. I am looking for US online stores with well-curated "west coast tech" women's business casual work clothes that are 1) not too expensive -- say less than 70 tops/blouses for decent quality, 2) has good selection of clothing types that are not just dresses (b/c I don't wear dresses). I love the M.M LaFleur aesthetic, but not the prices. [more inside]
Someone claimed that soybeans had to be fermented or otherwise processed in order to make them digestible. And indeed many sources indicate that soybeans contain anti-nutrients like phytic acid and Bowman-Birk protease inhibitor. I don't know how much this matters. Do I need to process my soybeans in some unusual way to get adequate nutrition out of them? [more inside]
How do I Vancouver? I am Canadian, moving from a mid sized Canadian city, about to begin negotiating a job offer with an American firm who is looking to expand their business in Canada. All I hear are horror stories about the rental market and low vacancy rates. [more inside]
I write on a freelance basis for an online magazine that will be relaunched next month. I might have been promoted to culture editor (feels unreal and I will find out if this is the case on Monday wooo) and I’d like to put this on my CV and/or cover letter when I pitch to other literary websites and journals. [more inside]
My long-term relationship almost completely lacks intimacy, and sometimes feels stifling. My attempts to fix it haven't gone well. I'm 40 and afraid of being alone. Help? [more inside]
I have some found text (lists of words and phrases) that I'm using for a writing project. I'm looking for some easy online tools to manipulate the text to help me get ideas. I've found plenty of tools to shuffle the order of entries, and I can translate back and forth. What are some other tools that can help? I'm especially interested in any kind of erasure tool, but I'd love any tips.
I found a vintage photo album from the 70s and would like to fill it with photo prints like the kind you could get in the 70s and 80s, borderless matte with rounded corners. Any recs for an online service that does this?
Two of my dear college friends are getting married (from two different friend circles that later found each other). Several folks from my younger days will be there, including one that I hurt really badly. I'm feeling overwhelmed with anxiety and shame, and I'm trying to find somewhere to put that shame that isn't harmful. [more inside]
I'm going to be making this Kimchi Dip on Sunday for a party we'll be attending. Would it benefit from being made early in the day to allow the flavors to meld? (I'm a relative newbie to cooking, as you can probably tell. Heh).
Currently paying on a car I hate, would like to trade to a car I don’t hate. But I have bad credit and owe money on the current car. [more inside]
I have a blog on the Blogger platform, owned by Google. I started it in 2011 and I no longer update it, but it's full of good memories and I'd hate for it to disappear. (link on my profile if you're interested in Hiking in Minnesota). Today I received an email from Google saying that Google + is going away (whatever, I deleted my G+ account years ago) and they're going to be deleting the photos and videos attached to it. I clicked on their "Album Archive" link and holy shit, it's got all of my Blogger pictures on it. I've FAQ'ed and (ha) Googled but can't get a straight answer. Are my pictures going to disappear? And if so, what now? [more inside]
My 3-year-old asked me this question and I didn't have a good answer for her. Do rockets create more fire than anything else, and if not what is capable of creating more? I figured the sun isn't exactly fire and I hoped the answer wasn't a nuclear bomb, as I'd rather not introduce her to the idea of warfare quite yet.
I just got a Dell XPS laptop and while it's great so far, the hard drive is a lot smaller than my old Thinkpad where I stored pretty much all of my digital life. I've looked into getting a wireless HD for backup/extra storage but after reading some reviews it seems like wireless HDs are still slow/unreliable/finicky unless they're super expensive. I'd like to have between 2-3 TB of external storage for under $200. Does a wireless HD make sense for me? Any specific suggestions? [more inside]
My current favorite snack is eating thin slices of very sharp cheddar with small bits of raw very hot peppers (habanero and such). The fattiness of the cheese tempers the hotness of the pepper so I can really appreciate the taste as well as the capsaicin glow. But I probably shouldn't be eating so damn much cheese. Any suggestions? [more inside]
Did my phone number get spoofed? All day I've been getting texts from unfamiliar numbers with just the single word "stop" -- like they're trying to opt out of text messages from me. [more inside]
Amateur musician, just starting to mess around with iPad music apps, interested in various kinds of recording. What iPad interface should I get? Lots of questions below: [more inside]
So I've got a pair of pants I love and they have a loose zipper. Given that occasionally I go commando when it's close to laundry day, that's a problem waiting to happen. So how do you make a zipper LESS loose? I've seen tons online for the opposite but nothing for this. So what? Rust? Maple syrup? A hammer? I'm open. Literally.
My fictional character is a social science grad student. I am not, nor have I ever been. If you know this particular world, do you have any ideas for me? [more inside]
Are round/oval dining tables less comfortable to sit at (for eating, reading the newspaper, typing on a laptop etc) than rectangular/square dining tables? (Question is not "does everybody feel this way" because of course not but rather "is this an actual thing for some people"). [more inside]
I've been looking for a new job for a few months, and I've had a ton of interviews for really exciting jobs, but I keep screwing them up because of social anxiety. [more inside]
I know this is an almost impossible ask, but about 15 years ago I came across a thrift store book of paintings by a contemporary Chinese artist who works in black ink. The pieces were often expansive landscapes with small human figures but stylistically they had a decidedly loose, bleed-y, "happy accident" feel rather than the tightly controlled landscapes you often see. I know this is a long shot, but I thought I would see if anyone had any possible leads. I lost the book and it's kind of haunted me since.
What are your go-to styling products and tips for revitalizing next-day long curly hair, especially after sleeping on it? [more inside]
I have a soundbar with 3 inputs: some sort of optical, 3.5mm and one other I don't recall. The switching between inputs on this bar is annoying. Is there a device I can put in front of the soundbar that can automatically switch input devices and have only output that I'll then connect to the soundbar?
What's the best conditioner available in Canada that's not packaged in plastic? [more inside]
A friend of mine gave me a Flutophone as a joke. Now ofcourse I have to counter this by getting at least a proper song under my belt, that is NOT a Christian hymn, or a kids song. [more inside]
My electricity and gas bill is suddenly like $100 more than it used to be each month for a few months. The PG&E website gives me some info like “We think your heating usage is higher” and “the difference is mostly due to electricity rather than gas” and it gives tips like “Try setting your thermostat lower” (no way. I’m freezing all the time). I would still like to ask you folks if there’s anything you’ve successfully done to bring these bills down once they go up like this. [more inside]
I don't fly much anymore. I'd drive or train it if I could but I don't have 3 extra days. Help my flight not suck. [more inside]
The MrFuga spawn is starting kinder in the fall. Questions about kindergarten (both specific to LA and not) abound! Blizzard after the fold. [more inside]
I work for an ad agency and they tasked me with finding the social media accounts of people who've used this very new, specialized product. I have email, name, phone number, address, city and state, but I'm really struggling to find their social media accounts. [more inside]
We are moving and I want to plan out where furniture will go before we move. I've traditionally done this with Excel and using shapes to represent furniture. But maybe there is an easy to use website for this that I don't know about?
My son doesn't have anything lined up for this coming summer, the one before his senior year. He has come into a bit of money which would enable him to afford do some kind of summer program so he's not sitting around working some part-time, low-paying job and the rest of the time glued to his screen, gaming. I'd love him to have the opportunity to gain skills, network, learn more about the world, and get off his butt. [more inside]
What's the name for a theater set that is always exposed to the audience? [more inside]
Looking for recommendations in Australia. My best friend and I are going on the trip of a lifetime, two weeks on the east coast starting Feb. 14. YIPPEE! YAHOO! Details inside. [more inside]
My dishwasher just died dramatically and I had to cut off the power. I've always hated this dishwasher and am going to get a new one, but for now I've got a dead dishwasher with a few inches of gross water in the bottom. How do I get it to drain, if it isn't powered? [more inside]
I play music from my computer through a mini-plug line-out that splits into RCA plugs and goes into my amplifier and speakers. I have a decent higher range stereo amplifier and I have some Infinity bookshelf speakers. Two questions: for the purposes of sound quality, does it matter whether I turn up the sound on my computer or on my amp? I have a USB audio out device, for the purposes of sound quality should I use USB out instead of mini-stereo out to send sound from my iMac to my stereo amp?
A friend of mine, who describes herself (accurately, I believe) as an open-minded creationist, reached out to me, asking me to recommend a book to her about Evolution. [more inside]
Are there any recommendations or items that really help with living in an RV? Also will take recommendations for paring down stuff and storing things in a small RV! [more inside]
The warehouse that serves most food banks in my province caught fire earlier this week and everything was destroyed. I want to get some sort of fundraiser going in my fairly large office to raise some cash for them and I'm looking for ideas. We've had success with silent auctions in the past, but I'd like to do something a little different.
I have the opportunity to interview (for a news article) a doctor who, because of his specialty with terminal disease, has conducted dozens of assisted suicides in his career for his patients, mostly in their homes. I would like to ask questions that reveal the emotional challenge that comes with doing a job like this. Given the sensitive content the doctor tends to be guarded, so I need different ways to ask this question to open him up. What would you ask?