November 2018 Archives
November 30
Where do short trans men shop?
I'm a 5'2" AFAB person who is exploring my masculine side and considering what transition would mean to me. I've just started shopping in the men's section, which is like being a kid in a candy store, but alas, usually ends in sadness as I realize I hardly fit into anything there! What stores and tricks am I missing? [more inside]
How To Politely Reject A Work Thing
I've been asked to dip into a project and promote it at no cost to myself, but helping Person A lower on the career ladder. Thing is, Person X is also collaborating with Person B with whom I have had bad dealings. How can I reject the proposal politely when I'm known for mentoring and helping out young talent? Details below. [more inside]
Electrolysis or Laser? (Darkish Skin)
I have a lot of facial hair, and have darker skin. I consulted with both a well-regarded laser clinic and electrolysis one, and went with electrolysis. But now I have concerns. [more inside]
Being Harassed by Scientology Solicitations
A case of mistaken identity has turned into a Kafka hell (more inside) [more inside]
A tow-tal wreck
I am planning to go on 6 month-or-so road trip in a teardrop trailer, with long pauses visiting various friends and family and scuba diving in various places. I've gotten ahold of a used Hiker Trailer that suits my purposes, and now I need something to tow it across the country with. [more inside]
Seeking a decent Australian reverse mortgage provider
I have recently been given financial power of attorney by an elderly friend whose expenditure on in-home nursing is now considerably greater than her income. Her only substantial asset is her home, and she's asked me to arrange a reverse mortgage. Which Australian providers should I be talking to first? Possibly more importantly, which providers should I not be talking to under any circumstances?
NYC escape rooms
So, recently, to humor a friend, I did an escape room with her, and, well, genuinely enjoyed it! (Shows me, I guess.) But it was in another city, and she'd like to do another one on her next visit here, so... [more inside]
CAVES
I recently went caving (spelunking) for the first time and it was so fucking cool. Where are some places in the US that offer caving tours/trips? [more inside]
I need a chew-proof cuboid storage solution!
I have two "cube shelves" you can find easily at Target (not my exact model anymore but they're similar enough). I need a closed/sealable container that will ideally fit as close to snugly as possible in the cubes. The cubes are about 15" deep and just under 13.5" wide. [more inside]
MY KITCHEN JUST EXPLODED
I tried to plug in my blender and MY POWER STRIP EXPLODED and everything flew in the air and now nothing that is plugged into it has power. There is no fire or smoke. The outlet still has power so the refridgerator is still running. I can't reach my landlord and have no idea how to work the fuse panel. What in the unholy hell do I do?? [more inside]
Make me over?
I'm a 37 year old woman. I need new makeup, specifically foundation. I haven't been wearing any in a while. (And even when I did I was never really satisfied with how it looked.) I've only ever worn drugstore makeup, but decided I needed more help because I obviously don't know what I'm doing. I've read the previous questions about this but am still frustrated. [more inside]
Help me restyle my bedroom!
We didn’t put a lot of effort into styling our bedroom when we moved into our rental place...nine years ago. It’s time. But I don’t have a decorator’s bone in my body, and I’m working with a tight space. Help? [more inside]
In love and (at) war
What are some movies where the primary storyline is about a romance between two people on opposite sides of a widespread war, and the fact that they have divided allegiances is what creates the primary conflict of the film? [more inside]
What the hell is a television supposed to be now?
We may have to be buying a new television soon, and if my last horrific experience at Best Buy is any indication, I know nothing of what a "television" is now.
Please to educate me, oh involuntary Luddite that I've become, what to look for in a quality new television in the late capitalist 21st century.
number blocked on I-Phone
Asking for a friend (no, seriously). My friend has an Galaxy S9 and her son has an i-Phone. When she calls his number, it goes directly to his voicemail. When he tries to text her, it won't even let him send the text. (I think she says it turns red). [more inside]
How dangerous is it to handle and store large lumps of lead?
I find large lumps of lead when metal detecting and now I have quite a bit collected. How hazardous is it to handle? [more inside]
Yellow (or "gold") and black, wool, striped scarf ?
I want to buy, online, a striped scarf like this but made of wool (or at least mainly of wool) . I think in a lot places it might be called a "soccer fan scarf".
I also want to know that it was made by people who were treated decently.
More inside ... [more inside]
Randomly losing edits made collaboratively in Google Sheets
I'm having a problem with a Google Sheets spreadsheet that's being edited by multiple people. About 98% of the time it's fine. But some of the edits are randomly disappearing, and this is causing big problems. [more inside]
Where should I eat in Philadelphia?
Back in Philadelphia for Year 2 of PAX Unplugged. What restaurants would you recommend we try out in town? [more inside]
Virtual gifts of membership
I'm looking for examples of annual memberships that I can give as gifts that support a cause or interest, do not require travelling to a place (so not like a museum), give recipients access to related items or information (like a magazine), and that can be arranged online and shipped to/available in Canada. [more inside]
How to electronically pay tolls in Georgia and E-ZPass Land?
I want to be able to pay tolls electronically in Georgia and the northeast, perhaps in a rental car - how can I do that? Is a North Carolina Quick Pass the best solution? [more inside]
Looking for an excerpt about throwing rocks at people with guns
I read a short review of Skeletons on the Zahara once. The review excerpted a scene in which a British man/men was riding a camel, with a muzzle loading rifle, and was surrounded by an angry local tribe. The tribe picked up rocks and threw them at the men. The men fired their rifles, killing some of the tribe members. Then, as the British reloaded, the tribesmen threw more rocks, killing them all.
I've even purchased the book and can't find this. Did this happen in some other book about British adventurers trekking across the desert?
Medicare for Dummies
Mr. BlahLaLa is turning 65 shortly. Where can we get unbiased factual information about what he needs to do about signing up for Medicare? [more inside]
High fluoride toothpaste without mint?
My dentist has prescribed me 5000mg fluoride toothpaste but I have a problem - they all contain spearmint which makes me sick. Does anyone know of a super high strength toothpaste that is either peppermint or (preferably) mint free? Preferably in the UK but I'm happy trying to source from overseas.
How much should I fear tap water with turbidity levels of 1.7 ntu?
Water company has issued a boil-water notice for my area, which reads, in part:
Water samples taken on November 29, 2018 had turbidity levels of 1.7 ntu, which is above the regulatory standard. Because of these high levels of turbidity, there is an increased chance that the water might contain disease-causing organisms. Some quick research shows that European standards allow turbidity up to 4, so do I need to boil everything?
It’s Aunt and Uncle Scrooge
We have 7 nieces and nephews and starting this year we are scaling back the amount of $$ we spend on Christmas gifts. They are 12, 10, 6, 6, 4, 4 and 1. I gave myself a $20 limit on each gift and managed to staywithin that limit but I want to fluff it out a little bit. Do you have any suggestions for incredibly cheap add-ons? Like, less than $5 each.
Replacement and Supplemental Medicare Plans
Where does the money to pay for the operation and management of replacement Medicare plans come from? I was told by doctors at two hospitals that companies like AARP, Humana, United Healthcare and Aetna skim money off the federal benefit to fund their operation and make a profit. [more inside]
Saving $ by reusing
I'm looking for reusable items that I can buy once to replace things I have to buy repeatedly and thereby save money (and reduce waste). Bonus points if they also save time and/or would make good holiday gifts. [more inside]
Ideas for an "bright" vegetable side to go with braised short ribs?
I'm making braised short ribs for a dinner party on Sunday. I'm stumped for ideas for a "bright"/acidic vegetable side to go along. The other side will be polenta. Any ideas?
Change default direction for animation in PowerPoint?
I am building several training PPTs which involve explanatory text appearing on the screen.
I am using the "wipe" animation, appearing from left to right - it gives it a nice feel of the text as if it's being typed right onto the screen. The default direction comes in from the bottom and moves upward. I can change it manually, but is there a way to change the default? MS says no, but I hope maybe some here knows more. . . [more inside]
A guide to herbs
I've bought and started using way more herbs in my cooking, to salubrious results. Yay!
Unlike spices, where I have a sort of instinct for which spice flavors go together and with which foods, I cannot keep parsley sage rosemary and thyme (etc) straight in my head. I have no concept of which ones are appropriate where and how to combine. Is there something that can teach me/give me a run down? [more inside]
I am stuck in limbo is this what dating nowadays is like?
I am in the early stages of dating a great guy however I I feel stuck not knowing where the relationship is headed. Am I overthinking this situation or do I move on?thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to read and respond to this. [more inside]
November 29
What part of speech is that?
To this non-grammarian, 'that' is often an unnecessary word. For example, 'I believe that it's broken'. In that sentence, what part of speech is 'that'? I think I can identify the rest: I (subject) believe (verb) that (?) it's (indefinite pronoun) broken (adjective)?
If we don't hurry, we're gonna miss all the good trees!
For the first time, I'm going to have my own Christmas tree! I've got a few childhood ornaments but not enough to cover a tree, so I'd like to make a bunch for this year. I'm searching for ideas and supplies to make some nice homey ornaments. [more inside]
Cincinnati in One Day
I will be in Cincinnati for approximately 24 hours next month as part of a larger effort to show my mom different Midwestern cities that she might like. What should I show her? [more inside]
Bookfilter: A professor, a computer and the devil?
In high school I remember a friend reading aloud the intro to a book about a professor who built a computer that started channeling the devil and chatting with him. [more inside]
Personal finance - the next steps?
My husband and I have managed, I think, to set ourselves up well in terms of basic personal finance. Now we are at the stage where we are talking about what to do with our money after covering all the basics. I am still clueless about money, and I don't really know how to have a knowledgeable conversation about it. [more inside]
Make my Instant Pot dreams come true
I love my Instant Pot and I want to take full advantage of its ability to cook frozen foods. What recipes could I make ahead of time, freeze, and then cook in its frozen state? [more inside]
Non-holiday Holiday Songs
I'm looking to expand my advent playlist beyond specifically holiday songs. [more inside]
Bookfilter: What was this cat-themed book?
BookFilter: An older children's chapter book about cats/pets in different historical situations, with pretty illustrations. [more inside]
Thought I had lard, I had backfat, now it's in my pie crust
For pie crust I use 50% lard, 50% butter. I just cut in what I thought was lard, but I realized it was really soft. Checked the package and it's backfat. Oops! All my fat is now cut into my flour - is it going to be bacon-y? Can I just roll it out carefully and make it anyway? This is for a pumpkin pie - definitely dessert. [more inside]
How can I stay sane when working with this ex-friend who betrayed me?
I feel extremely resentful and bitter towards my ex best friend/coworker and it is distracting me at work and keeping me in an angry, negative place. How do I navigate my feelings and this situation appropriately and in an emotionally healthy way that keeps me sane? [more inside]
Deciphering 1790s German handwriting - what does this say?
Help transliterate or translate this handwritten, one-page German letter from 1792? [more inside]
If you could only own one pan, what would it be?
My niece wants an all-in-one type of pot to do EVERYTHING in. [more inside]
Unconventional places to meet gay men (outside of apps/bars)?
I'm setting a new challenge for myself to try to meet someone without the usage of apps like Grindr / Tinder and websites like OkCupid. [more inside]
For the ladies – how to wear thin, see-through shirts?
I’ve been cleaning my closet and discovered that I have a bunch of thin, semi see-through shirts that I haven’t worn for a number of years. I must have felt comfortable with them at one time because I did purchase and wear them but I guess now in my more… mature age, I just haven’t been wearing them, leaving them to languish in my closet. [more inside]
How did you deal with seeing your partner in pain during labor?
My wife is due any day now, and one thing that I'm freaking out about is seeing her in pain during labor. I've heard from a couple of other people that this is something that they/their partner really struggled with. What can I do to not be overwhelmed by this and stay strong for my wife while she's laboring? Thanks!
How can I learn labor law as cheaply as possible?
I am an organizer for a union, and have been interfacing with the NLRB. I need to get up to speed within the next several months on certain intricate details. What is the best way to learn? Any inexpensive online or correspondence courses? Helpful guides? Books? [more inside]
Considering getting a Sphynx
I have medium cat allergies. I am considering getting a hairless cat. Let me know your experiences with them! Specific questions inside. [more inside]
A Season of Giving (Clients Gifts)
Every year we send our clients/partners gifts. This year I'm having a really hard time figuring out what to send. We generally send two types of gifts - Good Gifts ($15-$35) and Really Good Gifts ($50-$100) depending on seniority of client partner. Help? [more inside]
Arbeitenfaulenschmerz
Is there a word in any language for feeling peer-pressured into productivity by the busily working people around you, when you'd actually rather be relaxing? [more inside]
How to locate details of someone arrested in Paris?
How do I get information about someone arrested in Paris near the Eiffel Tower? What police station would they be taken to? Is there a way to search for records online? A number to call? Somewhere to go in person? Any other tips?
What are some great board/card games that aren't too big?
I'm going on a trip with family and want to bring along some games that won't take up too much space. Ideally they'd be good for about 4 people give or take, and fun/novel to play. I'm thinking of buying Fluxx, for example. Our favorite games of recent years have been Pandemic and Codenames, but those are both a little bigger than would be ideal for this trip. Ideas? Thank you!
Which of these Great British Bake-off cookbooks should I buy?
My sister and I are obsessed with the Great British Bake-Off show, so for a Christmas gift I thought it would be fun to get her a cookbook that includes actual step-by-step recipes for some of the challenges from the show. However, I looked up the cookbooks related to the show, and there are soooo many different ones to choose from - see link: https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=british+baking+show+book
For anyone familiar with this show and these books, can you recommend the best one for beginner bakers who want to try some of the baking challenges from the show? I'm looking for step-by-step easy instructions, and I'm not sure how each of these books differ.
the brief wondrous life of json
What are some examples of surprising/strange/weird/subversive/powerful use cases of public APIs? Especially interested in ways that an API may be used in a way the facilitators of the API would not have anticipated, and/or just exceptionally clever uses. [more inside]
Movies that take place in one night
A friend is planning a mini film fest at his place featuring films that all take place in a single night between dusk and sunrise. It's okay if it starts or ends in daytime, but he's shooting for films that are like 80% in the middle of the night. Ideas? [more inside]
Holiday songs about joy and gratitude, non-Jesus edition
Can you suggest holiday songs that express the themes of joy or gratitude but are not primarily about Jesus (e.g., no "Joy to the World")? [more inside]
Simple bill reminder app.
Hi everyone;
I am looking for an app (android) that will send an alarm to me to remind me of my credit card due dates (repeated). I know there are plenty out there- I have seen them, but does anyone know of an app that will allow me to mark "PAID" on the bill when I paid it? Don't want one that has to connect to the bank.
Thanks all :-)
Most effective way to fight for shorter copyright terms?
I strongly believe that copyright terms should be shorter, and I want to do something to encourage a return to the more reasonable copyright terms of the past. However, given that copyright terms are largely dictated by international trade agreements, activism on this problem seems futile. What can I do that won't be just a waste of time and/or money? [more inside]
Looking for tools to solve a minor personal finance question.
Let's say I have, annually, $6,000 dollars available that I can either A) Put into my IRA account for retirement, or 2) Pay towards my mortgage. What I'm looking for is some kind of way to assess which is the better move for me, or whether it makes much difference which I do. [more inside]
Ugh, you know what? F*ck pretty!!!
I am looking for resources on stereotypical beauty norms / body image [more inside]
Like Indiebound but for toys
I checked the archives, and I can't believe this hasn't been asked before! Are there any good alternatives to Amazon for buying toys for Christmas online in the United States? [more inside]
How should I spend nine days in Norway?
What do you think is an ideal itinerary for nine days in Norway for a Nordic newbie? [more inside]
November 28
How do I Fill My Bedroom with the Scent of Roses before Bedtime?
I just bought some rose-scented frankincense from the Middle East but the rose scent dissipates quickly leaving only the frankincense scent. [more inside]
how to handle aggressive women on the subway?
I seem to be having more problems recently with people getting aggressive on me in the subway. Stuff like, shoving me aside for seats, stepping on me, hitting me with bags and umbrellas and strollers. The difficulty comes when these are women, often small and white, sometimes quite old. I am not these things, and am concerned that responses which would be only appropriately confrontational with men might be seen as excessive. Could the hive mind help me calibrate my response? Or better yet, avoid this stuff in the first place? [more inside]
Choosing an anti-charity
How can I pick an "anti-charity" to motivate me that won't actually destroy the planet? [more inside]
"Huh, I should do that."
What's a good habit (act of courtesy or kindness) that you picked up from someone else? [more inside]
Is it still good?
I was cleaning the house and found cannabis I somehow forgot about. Besides the fact that I have learned my lesson to not forget about these things - Is it still good? Details below. [more inside]
Testosterone Replacement Therapy worked GREAT ... until it didn’t.
I’m seeing my PCP on Friday to discuss the recurrence of chronic symptoms that had previously been greatly improved by TRT (via topical gel), but are no longer -- after only a few weeks of positive response to the TRT, I'm now back to where I was before I'd started. I’ve reason to suspect my PCP has had very little experience with TRT, so I’m trying to become better informed before I go in there. Hoping some MeFites with experience in this area might be able to share their experiences, recommendations, etc. [more inside]
When to say I want to leave
Like many this time of year, it seems, I'm at a point where I want to tell my spouse that I want to leave. Problem: When to do it. Specifics below the fold. [more inside]
Bound Photobook You Can Add Pages to Over Time?
I would like a bound (like not spiral bound or a binder or such) photobook that I can add pages to later. I would like a photobook, not a photo album. Does this exist? What's it called? How do I order it? [more inside]
International version of "Readeo"
I live in one country and my parents live another. Neither of these is the US. My mother wants to sign up for the "Readeo" service so she can read a story to my daughter over a video chat, where half the screen is the book in question and half the person. It seems, however, to be a US-only service. Are there any international versions? [more inside]
What can I do with a talking graphing calculator?
I know the general wisdom on Mefi is that graphing calculators on the whole are overpriced and easily replaced by smartphone apps, but I was just reminded of a fancy talking TI84 I have from my school days, and I wondered what kinds of cool things it might be able to do. [more inside]
Is the fruit from Harry and David really more amazing ?
Assuming I am buying fruit from my local grocery store (HyVee) in season (ie nearly ripe pears in the fall, ripe peaches in the middle of summer, crisp apples in the fall, oranges in the winter, etc, etc) , can I really expect the fruit from Harry and David to taste significantly better? On the one hand I feel it must because otherwise what justifies the exorbitant pricing? But on the other hand perfectly ripened in season fruit is so good that I can't imagine what could be done to it to make it taste even better. Thoughts?
Fake MySpace/Geocities Account?
I want to make a mini site (or even a one-pager) that resembles an unholy mashup of a MySpace/Geocities profile. (If it's hosted on Neocities/Angelfire/Tripod/etc even better). I can come up with the content, but am not sure how to code the layout. Are there easily available templates I can use to approximate the look and feel of an old-school MySpace profile? (I think MySpace itself still exists, but it seems slick now and I want to make it look super janky)
What is this tiny antique Japanese item supposed to be?
A tiny old Japanese charm or pendant, but I can't figure out what it's meant to be. [more inside]
Trying to remember a quote about paths and life, in another language
I remember seeing a quote on Twitter or somewhere; the original phrase/quote was in Spanish or Italian or something of that region, and in the original language it was a special phrase in some way-- it was a palindrome, or a rhyme, or used every letter, or in some way was a clever word-play. [more inside]
how calculate cost per home of road paving in private community
I live in community with about 60 houses, there are main roads and artery roads and capillary roads (to borrow an analogy).
We need to pave the roads and am looking for a simple way to calculate the $ contribution of each household. [more inside]
Programmatically generating Excel files
How can I programmatically generate Excel spreadsheets? I know about generating a CSV and importing it, but I need the resulting spreadsheet to use Excel-only features not available in CSV. [more inside]
How do I safely dispose of acetone-soaked rags?
One site says soak/wash them, one site says lay them out to dry them, one site says, place them in a fireproof container and throw away with the rest of your garbage. [more inside]
Cleaning all the bits
A question for the female-bodied of Metafilter who have showers with fixed heads: how do you get your bits properly clean? [more inside]
What's the best pepper mill?
I need a decent pepper mill. I've had two in my life and they've both been terrible at grinding pepper. I was thinking I would just give up on freshly ground pepper but then realized a sample size of two is probably not comprehensive. Do you have a really good pepper mill? Tell me which one it is.
Help! My 3.5 yo son is showing autistic traits and his tantrums suck :-(
Hello all, my 3.5 year old son has autistic traits and is in early intervention. I am getting help. But maybe the hive mind can help too? His tantrums REALLY REALLY suck and complicating factors are: I also have a 2.5 year old and a husband who interferes with me when I am trying to deal with it. How can I better handle the tantrums? Oh, and also, how do I not completely let this stress tear me to bits? I'm so sad. [more inside]
What useful and/or fun things can I do with a spare gaming PC?
My current gaming PC (over 5 years old with an i5 4670 and a GTX760 in a full-size tower) is getting a little long in the tooth, and I'm considering replacing it rather than updating components. What sort of fun and or useful things can I do with the older PC to continue to get use out of it? Bonus points for links to howto guides for any relevant projects.
How do I up my (very novice) miso soup game?
I've made a few pots of, to me anyway, passable miso soup using some basic, I think, ingredients. Can you provide tips/tricks/ideas/mistakes to avoid that will make good into great with minimal addition of marginal effort? I'm fine with things that defy traditional. [more inside]
Cat care when we're not there
This is a two-parter!
1. Do you have a Boston-area pet sitter recommendation?
2. How about suggestions for entertaining said cat when there are no humans around to throw things? [more inside]
Lit AF this Christmas
Help me find colored lights for our tree that aren't blue. [more inside]
Looking for ideas for a raffle basket
Please help me come up with some ideas for baskets for a fundraiser. More details within. [more inside]
Meditative solo piano recordings?
I've been listening to Emahoy Maryam Guebrou's CDs while I work lately, and am looking for more solo piano recordings in this vein. [more inside]
When has American law enforcement used tear gas?
What are examples of uses of tear gas by US law enforcement or other governmental agencies from the last ten years? I’m referring to canisters, not hand held pepper spray. Links to articles appreciated, but I can google if you think you know about something.
Guitar stores in Buenos Aires
I'll be spending the New Year in Buenos Aires this year. I assume that with all the rockers in Argentina there should be some good guitar stores? Where would this be? [more inside]
Amityville Horror (mini)creepout: Why the flies?
So, yesterday evening I walked into the living room and saw that ~15 flies were all gathered on a standing lamp, and I have no idea why or where they came from. Today they are gone. [more inside]
What are these lights on the Andaman Sea?
I saw these lights last year while flying from Hong Kong to Colombo -- the photo was taken from around 30,000 feet. I'm pretty sure I shot the photo flying above the Moscos Islands off Dawei, Myanmar.
Financial Boycott - How do I do it and can I get help?
I want to boycott this administration and as many people connected to it as possible. I figure changing my spending/saving/investing habits is one way I can put my money where my mouth is.
How to do it? [more inside]
This is only a test.
You live in the continental U.S. You regularly (or semi-regularly) hear an outdoor warning/emergency system test. Where are you? [more inside]
How does your preschooler listen to music?
I'm looking for a holiday-giftable way to let my 3.5-year old listen to music with minimal intervention by me. [more inside]
Ambition and Buddhism
I learned a bit about Meditation and Buddhism in Coursera’s Buddhism and Modern Psychology. It was both revelatory and intuitively correct. One piece of the puzzle that does not fit well yet, is ambition. Second Noble Truth, roughly speaking is “yearning for things is the cause of suffering”. Ambition to me, is yearning for success, ergo suffering. Yet the lack of ambition is stasis and stagnation. Where do you go from here?
Etiquette for asking comic shops to order your book?
My book is out in February and has a listing on the Previews website -- great! Now how do I get comic shops to actually order it? The last time I researched this was years ago, and I've never actually DONE it. [more inside]
What should I know about visiting Israel?
Somewhere in the whirlwind, I signed up to spend a week at a scientific workshop in Israel. And that week is next week - yikes! I'm a pretty experienced international traveler, but I've never been to Israel and I've had no time to do my usual research. What should I know? If you've visited, what took you by surprise, and what did you wish you'd brought or looked up or done beforehand? [more inside]
Best yarn and pattern for knitting a shawl for hospital wear
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer a week ago. It was caught very early and prognosis is very good but she will almost certainly be having a full double mastectomy, with a determination about radiation/chemotherapy after we know more. I offered to knit her a shawl to wear in the hospital and during recovery and she gratefully agreed, but my brain is overwhelmed right now and I am freezing on picking a pattern and yarn. What shawl should I knit, and with what yarn? [more inside]
Books or websites for basic woodworking projects?
Can you recommend any books or websites with basic to intermediate woodworking projects? [more inside]
Stumbling, blithering Christmas
I just found this awesome store full of amazing Edward Gorey merch, which is run by and benefits the Edward Gorey House museum. I know plenty of people weird enough to want presents from this store. Woo hoo! Share w/ me your favorite cause-benefitting stores, full of artsy oddities and gifts! [more inside]
Water damage
Breaking News: There was a tremendous crash, and I rushed in my adult son's room to see this (another angle). What do we do? Our landlord has not been responsive in the past. There is no emergency number for him. Wtf??? [more inside]
Looking for poems about transition.
If you have a favorite poem about life transitions (birth, marriage, death, divorce, new beginnings, etc.), will you post it here?
Thanks!
Break or break up?
I think I made a break up ambiguous without intending to and need help to stop over-thinking. [more inside]
Help us rent an apartment in San Francisco
We know it’s extremely expensive and densely populated, and we know about the supply/demand dynamic. But are there other things we should know that will help us find an apartment? Advice on strategies, best listings, viewings/showings, applications, ways to get ahead, etc., would be appreciated. What do you wish you had known? [more inside]
Reverb for the gym - highly specific playlist suggestions sought
So when I first started going to the gym, I sought out music that made me feel alienated and mechanical. But now I only want music that is melancholy with certain characteristics. And yet it also has to be, you know, work-out music. Examples inside. [more inside]
Back injury and baby
I have a minor muscular injury to my back (right side, lower back near the spine) and it's causing my whole back to lock up when doing tasks . I saw my doctor, but need to figure out how to take care of babysky, my 16lbs bundle of joy. [more inside]
Poem about snow as metaphor for depression, dissociation, or autism
I remember seeing an unsettling poem literally about snow* but metaphorically about withdrawing into safe detachment and isolation, perhaps an allegory for dissociation or depression.
It might not have been about snow, but I'm pretty sure it was.
Personal finance dashboard for septuagenarian
My 77-year-old mother has bank and brokerage accounts at a few different institutions. I’d like to help her find a basic MacOS or web personal finance dashboard for her to see at a glance how she’s doing. [more inside]
Political subreddits
Can you please recommend some good political or news subreddits for me to read? I'm looking for ones that are at least somewhat (or very) progressive/left wing and don't have lots of racist/sexist/homophobic/transphobic comments.
It's pronounced Croppy
I'm cooking crappie (fish) for dinner tonight. I want to do something different with it than I usually do. I'm out of brain cells. Do you have a crappie recipe that you really love? Please share. [more inside]
youtube meditation for pain and anxiety
My father's cardiologist told him he needs to meditate in order to bring his blood pressure down. What youtube meditations for pain and/or anxiety would you consider accessible for a guy in his early 60s? Something to catch his attention and draw him in. [more inside]
Effective memes for parenting non-neurotypical teens
Help me better parent my 16 year old: experience with autism and ADD helpful [more inside]
November 27
Xmas gift for a 5 year old with leukemia.
Help me find a gift for a young boy who is undergoing treatment for leukemia. [more inside]
I had an eviction in NYC how do I solve it?
Due to severe health issues I spiraled into a depression. One day I just left my apartment in NYC. Just packed my necessities and left. I’m better now ~4 years later but I’m sure I was evicted as I just stopped paying rent. I’m making very good money now (150k+) and would like this taken care of. What recourse do I have? [more inside]
What are good interesting things to put in Marshmallow treats?
I like to experiment with marshmallow cereal treats for an annual potluck. I’ve done all kinds of cereal, and bits & bites last year for a wonderful gooey salty spicy sweet thing. What are some odd, unexpected, or classic-but-delicious things to use in place of Rice Krispies?
shopping suggestions for Raynaud's syndrome
Can you recommend tech/clothes/brands etc that work well for someone with Raynaud's syndrome? [more inside]
Improving memory when dealing with depression
I've been medically treating low-grade but chronic depression for just about a decade, and I've noticed in the past few years that my memory and attention-span aren't as sharp as they used to be. What sort of things should I be doing? [more inside]
I need some dumb jokes.
Recently, when I email a photo of a check or a receipt to my branch's office manager, I've been including a dumb joke. I need more jokes. Specifics within. [more inside]
When was the grocery store F.G. Lebbing (Amersterdam) in operation?
I would like to know when the grocery store F.G. Lebbing, Prinsengracht 807, Amsterdam, was founded and when it went out of business. Prinsengracht 807 is the address appearing on an old (private) label used by this establishment. Thanks.
Help me figure out if this sentence is grammatically correct.
So I was on Goodreads looking for books to read when I came across The Language Hoax by John H. McWhorter. One of the negative reviews mentioned that the author wasn't a great writer because of sentences like this: "However, what they demonstrate is cultural traits that language reflects, like Thai words for you, not linguistic traits magically shaping the culture." I can see why he pointed this out, but is this really wrong? I think it's fine as it is, but now that I've looked at the sentence for a long time, I am confused. [more inside]
Wacky ways to play well-known games?
The dating/gaming activities mentioned in this post sound like SO much fun! Where can I find more? What are your favorites spins on old classics? [more inside]
somewhere i picked up a bad habit...
the question might be very mildly offensive or very mildy NSFW (i mean like pg-13) so i put it after the break. [more inside]
Who am I?!?
I have recently separated from my husband. My therapist (I'm in therapy weekly) said "Now is a great time to work on yourself, and figure out who you are." Sounds great in theory! In practice, I have a completely blank canvas in front of me for how my life is going to proceed, and it freaks me out. Do you have any good worksheets, books, websites, etc to help me figure out who I am, and what I want? NB: I am 100% happy in my career, and do not want to change that. Most of what I'm finding revolves around the assumption that your job is making you miserable. That is not the case here. [more inside]
Can I get rid of a former tenant's belongings?
Unwisely let a couple of friends move into my spare room back in January "temporarily". I finally gave them two weeks notice over a month ago, and THEY moved out - but left some stuff not really worth any value. They've not responded to contact attempts for two weeks. Can I legally toss it? [more inside]
How to ask about bad company culture in interview?
I'm interviewing for a job at a large, well-known media company that's had several instances of harassment publicly reported. Though I've heard things have improved, I want to ask about this in my interview and I want to hear how this aspect of company culture is being addressed. What's the best way to approach this? [more inside]
Chicago theater with cheering, applauding fans for next Avengers film?
I've lived in Chicago for 28 years, and I've never gone to see a genre movie that had an audience who had these kinds of reactions. Which are the right Chicago movie theaters for opening-night YELLING AND CLAPPING for genre films (especially Marvel)? [more inside]
How much follow-up is too much after an interview?
It's been a month and a half since they initially told me they'd let me know. When do I call it and know I didn't get the job, and should I send another follow-up? [more inside]
It’s not redwood, right?
What type of wood is this? It has the color of redwood and looks very much like some kind of burl. But there’s no such thing as a burl plank. It’s very soft wood; you can easily scratch it with a thumbnail. The board is 3/4×12×80.
I'm looking for a paycheck "simulator"
We're thinking about moving from California to Texas, two states with vastly different tax regimes. What I'm trying to find is a rough paycheck "simulator" where I could input my salary, maybe a few variables and then see what my actual take-home amount would be.
I know it won't be fully comprehensive, but it'll help ballpark what to ask for salary wise.
Gifts to improve the life of someone with glaucoma and psoriasis
A loved one has glaucoma, with severe dry eye caused by the medications. She also has psoriasis, which worsens with baths, sock pressure, too much dishwashing, et cetera. She is followed closely by her doctors, and you are not one of them. But maybe you know someone with one or both of these conditions and are aware of a product that has improved their life? [more inside]
Manage my expectations for rodent control
How should an exterminator deal with a mouse in the house? We recently called an established company to come out and deal with a mouse problem in our house. I want to know if the approach they took was standard operating procedure for rodent control. [more inside]
I need advice on what to do about work and my mental health.
Struggling with my mental health due to stress at work and need help determining what my options are and how to best take care of myself without ruining my career or my finances. Live in California. [more inside]
Good books on the history of intelligence testing
My 17yo is looking for a good book to read on the history of intelligence testing. Recommendations? [more inside]
How do I find a sex worker who will act as a surrogate partner?
I'm a straight guy in my forties with limited sexual experience. I've always had some anxiety around sex, which can manifest in physiological issues (ED, PE). I'd like to work with a surrogate partner, but for complicated reasons that hasn't worked out. How do I find a sex worker who will play a similar role, letting me practice sex in a low-pressure setting? [more inside]
Better skimming and searching professional book reviews - for free?
How can I browse, skim, and search professional fiction book reviews for free, to find the fiction I want to read? [more inside]
Puzzles for Kindergartners
What are some good puzzle games I could buy for my kindergartner? [more inside]
Cat Name!
I am really stuck. I rescued this cat off the street, and she is kind of a hyperactive terror, but my older cat is totally Here. For. It. They're playing non-stop and having the time of their lives. But she's been living with us for a month and I am no closer to naming this tiny cat! [more inside]
Slip, Slip, Knittin' Away
When knitting in the round, is it possible to change the starting point of the round mid-project? [more inside]
Give me your best health hacks
I'm focusing on my health for the month of December. I'd like to collect tips and tricks to help me stay on track. [more inside]
Looking for a Taishanese video with Chinese New Year blessings
About a year ago, my mum's friend sent her a Taishanese video on WeChat, it was a simple recording of a woman's voice listing a whole bunch of "good luck" blessings. Onscreen was the transliteration of what she was saying - captions in solid red traditional Chinese characters.
I haven't been able to find it on youtube, but maybe I've been searching for it wrong. Anyone seen it and knows where I can get it?
The video is pretty funny when the woman gets into it, and she talks faster and faster towards the end.
What is it like to breastfeed beyond one year?
What is it like to breastfeed beyond one year? Are people going to look at me weird? How to minimize potential awkwardness? [more inside]
Report Card Blues
DOT Jr. goes to magnet school. He's a certified smarty pants, with assessments at genius level, consistently high/honor roll grades, multiple student of the month awards, etc. His magnet program teacher (the same teacher he had last year as well) took around 10 weeks off for maternity leave (and had a happy, healthy baby! yay!) Last week, we got his report card for the first trimester of this year. In it, his extended-run substitute teacher praised him as a terrific student who does good work... and gave him a C and two F's. [more inside]
Protecting the goo?
I bought a candle holder that has an extra layer of glass around the candle well, with dried berries and such sandwiched in it as decoration. Turns out the substance the deco is in is a gel, not a resin. Is there any way to top it? I've thought of some kind of ribbon (it would have to stand the heat), but would a layer of powder do? Specifically, of ground cinnamon or nutmeg? [more inside]
oh yoko!
I'm looking for memoirs and autobiographies of people who knew John Lennon in the 70s that are sympathetic to Yoko Ono. [more inside]
Dutch (Oven) Treat
My wife -- who, blessedly, doesn't read MeFi -- has expressed a desire for an enamel cast iron dutch oven for Christmas. [more inside]
I need a new Alarm Clock app for my Android Phone
I've been using AdyClock for years across multiple Android devices, but lately, it's gone completely unreliable on me. I suppose that the stock clock app from LG could fill that gap, but I'll miss some of AdyClock's features. [more inside]
soft but biting
Give me your bittersweet love poems. [more inside]
Need a kickass gift for an anesthesiologist
Looking for gift ideas for an anesthesiologist resident. [more inside]
I need a small craft type gift my 95 yo grandmother can make
We exchange stockings every year and I need to help my grandmother this year with her stocking gifts. [more inside]
Setting up an ipad for a toddler
I need to upgrade my ipad for work and am thinking about giving my six-year-old iPad Mini to my toddler. Tips, tweaks, app suggestions? Should I? [more inside]
Looking for the best way to split the night for newborn feeding.
We want to equitably split the night for newborn nighttime feedings, which currently take place at approximately 9:30pm, 11:30pm, 2:00am, and 5:00am. One of us has to get up at 7:30 to get up with toddler and get him off to school. We try go to bed at 8:30pm — which is right after we put said toddler to sleep. We have two bedrooms to work with, and are very sleep-deprived so cannot figure this out. Help us, Mefi: What's the best way to split the night that ensures that two parents get maximum amount of sleep. (Assume overnight food supply is not a concern here, baby eats equally well from both parents, and both of us are off right now.) [more inside]
Silly rice question
This recipe was super tasty but the rice didn’t cook. How to make it cook? (With rice cooker and white rice) [more inside]
How does dating in a huge city like Chicago differ from a smaller city?
I'm not quite sure how to ask this question, so bear with me. I'm single, in my 40s, in Portland OR, and I find dating to be relatively easy here [details inside]. I'm wondering if I've been in Portland so long that I don't realize it isn't that easy in other cities. Is dating harder in Chicago? What about Cleveland? St Paul MN? St Louis? How do I figure that out while researching other cities? [more inside]
Good UK lawyer conversant with harassment and and cyber stalking?
I want to pursue a criminal case against a years long harasser. A cursory conversation with a police phone operator led to them saying it was a civil issue. I'm all for pursuing this civilly but I want to explore the possibility of pursuing it criminally as well. I am willing to travel anywhere in the UK. Money is not an object. Time is of the essence, as the more this individual posts the more likely it is to severely damage my reputation.
November 26
How to help my parents with my mom's cancer
My mom was recently diagnosed with cancer. My parents live across the country and my dad has been by her side non-stop, but is falling apart. I'm on the phone with them around the clock, and am flying in to spend a week and a half helping, but nothing feels like enough. I don't know how to make any of this letter, and it's killing me to see them both in so much pain. What can i do? How do I cope? It feels like everything is falling apart. [more inside]
Just curious - what is icing my arm doing to my hurt tendon?
When I ice my arm to help my tendinitis, my hurt tendon feels so tight that it seems like it could snap. What's happening? [more inside]
Is proof of Apple Care purchase actually required?
I'm in the market for a used MacBook Pro, and have found one for sale that includes AppleCare coverage for another 13 months. Apple implies that a transfer involving original receipts should happen, or that said receipts could be required during repairs/service. Will that actually ever matter? [more inside]
Drawing a blank
An art professor I had in college taught from the most amazing, out-of-print book on how to draw, though it could have been on how to paint. I remember random details about it. Can you help me find it again? [more inside]
Wouldn't it be De-Ice?
What is the objectively best de-icing agent for a high activity area wherein eaves drip down and freeze and little puppy paws have to traffic? [more inside]
Name change: middle edition
I need to change/clarify my middle name on Important Documents and I want to do it correctly and not fuck up my life. [more inside]
Where can I find white grapefruit in Seattle?
As I understand it, white grapefruit should be in season from roughly November to February, but in several years, I haven't been able to find it here in Seattle. Does anyone know of a reliable (or even occasional) source for the fruit in or near the city? A number of tiki drink recipes call for it specifically, and I'd like to recreate the original flavor of the libations.
Useful or useless talent?
I am very good at taking a poem or song and re-writing it to be about something else. I am also generally good at writing humorous poems in a set form (sonnets, limericks, etc.) People over the years have told me, "You should do this for a living!" So, uh... is this a thing I could do for a living? If so, how? Etsy shop for custom poems? Advertising? Jingle writer? [more inside]
What's the average salary of a U.S. hospice social worker?
I know I can Google this, but I'd prefer to have real-world answers from real people (as well as the generic answers I can get from Google).
What are some salaries for people you know in this field? Please specify the level of experience the person has, if you know it.
Thanks!
Cricut versus Silhouette versus Reality
I really, really, really want a die-cut machine to facilitate hobbies that aren't staring at my phone, angrily reading uspolitics threads. Is it even a good idea? Please help me not get Crafter's Regret. [more inside]
Make something from two planoconvex lenses?
Can I make something (telescope, microscope, whatever) from the two 4-1/2" x 9" planoconvex lenses in this old Q4M spotlight? [more inside]
swimming and fear of not breathing
I am interested in lap swimming for fitness, but I am scared of rhythmic breathing. [more inside]
Newbie fiction writer seeks connections & advice on getting started in p
Hey MeFi! Can you recommend things I can do to get started in literary publishing, in terms of publishing, pitching, making friends and getting involved in the literary community both IRL and online? Assume I've got a good writing routine down and am producing consistently, so don't need hacks regarding the writing process itself. Also, if you want to be writing buds, hit me up! [more inside]
So I need a new microwave.
After 20 years of faithful service, our microwave just dramatically died while I was attempting to heat up some leftovers. It was very exciting! It was a wedding gift, and the microwave I owned previously to that was also a gift, which means I have never in my life bought a microwave by myself, and I am wondering if buying a combination microwave is a good idea, or should I just stick to a basic model? Requirements/use case inside. [more inside]
Mechanical device to use in speaking to someone who's hard of hearing?
What did people use, before electronics? I do have some hard-of-hearing people to communicate with, and hearing aids aren't always in working order, and a bullhorn would be a bit much.
(This question falls somewhere between idle curiosity and low priority.) [more inside]
How to deal with my housecleaner's response to an injury
We have twice monthly housecleaners who do most things, including mop our floors. Our upstairs hallway has, in the past, been a bit slippery after they've mopped, and last Wednesday, I had quite a bad fall that left me very bruised. I'm pregnant and worried about slipping and hurting myself or baby. The housecleaners... aren't cooperating. [more inside]
Handling uncertainty!
Just interviewed for my dream job. Help me not to gnaw my own face off. [more inside]
Where to snowbird?
Does this bed need a Bunkie Board?
The description of this Dylan Twin bunk bed set says "Box spring not required". Does that mean this 6" spring mattress can be placed directly on the slats, or does it need to have a bunkie board (not included)?
Tired of being tired
I'm *what the medical community chalks up to being* depressed and anxious. I am nearly 29 years old and have tried everything: therapy, hypnosis, supplements, blood and imaging studies, exercise, every antidepressant, ketamine infusions, self-help books, motivational videos and speakers, travel, every anti-procrastination technique imaginable ( Pomodoros, lists, cbt-style tricks) etc etc etc etc. Nothing works. [more inside]
Remote button for logging clicks on computer
I'm looking to buy (or possibly assemble) a bunch of wireless buttons that I can click and have the click be received by a computer, which will subsequently execute custom code in response. Does such a thing exist? [more inside]
Traveling to Europe. What Do I Need To Know & Consider?
I am traveling to France. I don't do a ton of traveling. What do I need to know/consider/do to prepare?
My main concerns are
wifi - being able to access e-mail, use apple maps, apple music and podcasts etc
money
what else do i need to know?
NYC landlord douchebaggery — what would you do?
We signed two copies of the lease at the broker’s office. One copy was supposed to be sent back to us signed by the landlord. It wasn’t. We emailed. They emailed us a PDF of a xerox with our signatures nominally on it that did not match the lease we signed. [more inside]
new boss blues
I've gotten off on the wrong foot with my new boss. Details of the situation below. In such a situation would you stick around and try to make the best of it? And if so how? Or are these signs that I should be dusting off my resume and starting looking for a new job? [more inside]
Chapstick that doesn’t dry out my lips?
I’m dependent on chap stick to keep my lips from disintigrating during the colder months. I’m currently using chapstick original, but after a few hours my lips are chapped again. Any suggestions? My one request is that it’s as scentless/tasteless as possible (aka Burt’s Bees works well, but I can’t stand the smell).
Help me be less of a priss
I am very private and uptight about bodily functions and bathroom stuff. How can I chill out and be a normal person? [more inside]
How big could a kangaroo get before it became unable to function?
So I learned recently that kangaroos are one of those species with indeterminate growth; they keep growing, slowly, their entire lives. Obviously there must be some kind of body/mass/energy ratio calculation that will eventually mean they are too big to survive. How big could a kangaroo get before this happens? [more inside]
Light packers: how do you do it?
I'm going on a week-long trip for Christmas, and I would really like to bring a smaller suitcase, but I always end up wanting to take too much stuff. Previous questions on this seem to be oriented toward people with kids. If you have a system, please share. [more inside]
Specific Casa Particular con Familia in Havana Recommendation?
We're going to Havana in February and would like to spend the long weekend in a casa particular.
We're looking for two bedrooms in Old Havana or Centro (for two couples) that kinda guarantees lots of interaction with the family or people living at the address. Any recommendations or thoughts? [more inside]
Can I put these tires on my truck?
2008 Ford Ranger tire size 225/70R15.
I can get some 225/60R16 snow tires. Can they be safely mounted and driven? The savings would be significant.
thanks.
Long distance relationship and how to close the distance?
Ended up in a LDR. Is it too late for me to let my heart lead the way, too risky? [more inside]
iPhone Side Button Back to Life After iOs Update
The side button (aka "on/off" button) on my iPhone 7 was working only sporadically (which meant lots of pocket dialing because I couldn't lock phone, and taking screen shots was torture). I just updated from iOs 10 to 12.1, and button works all the time. This is seriously weird. Any theories?
Best way to spend 5 hours in Shanghai airport?
I will have a 5-hour layover in Shanghai Pudong airport just before Christmas. The layover is between two very long flights. Are there any nice cafés/restaurants/areas to hang out in? Perhaps even shower facilities? [more inside]
How do I make a name for myself as an artist?
I'm about to graduate with a PhD in history, but I've been producing artwork (mostly physical objects, a few images) along the way. I'd really like to develop this work, and even do so professionally (I'm not looking for an academic job), but I am intimidated by what feels like the arbitrariness of what sells in the art world. It seems like there are no rules. Where do I start?
Wireless speaker system for dumb home
I'd like to buy some wireless speakers that I can use with an old-school receiver. Does this exist? [more inside]
All sticks and no carrots--please get me to job hunt!
Please help me force myself to do job hunting, even though I don't want the jobs I somewhat qualify for and can't seem to transfer my skills into anything else either. [more inside]
My best friend is getting into an LTR, and I'm feeling lost.
I'm a 30-year-old man, and I have a best friend who's a woman. We've known each other for 10 years, and our friendship is unusually close. When we met in college, our relationship was flirty and couple-y at first, but we drew clear boundaries over time and there are no romantic feelings between us anymore. There is a lot of love, however—true, unconditional love—and we make sure to show each other this love often. She has shown me *so* much support and affection over the years, and I've become a better person from having known her. I can't stress enough how much this friend means to me. In turn, she often tells me that she'd be completely lost without me. I feel physical pain at the thought of not having her around. Well: my friend is starting to date a new boyfriend, and my spidey sense tell me that he might be The One. Suddenly, I'm finding myself in crisis mode. I mean, complete and utter despair, to the point of being unable to function, that I might actually be alone for the rest of my life. [more inside]
Trustworthy ethical ad blocker for iOS?
I'm tired of intrusive ads on my iPhone. I'd like to start using software that blocks the bad ones, allows me to whitelist sites (like this one) that I trust and care about so that I see the ads that help support them, and doesn't further compromise my privacy or security. There are a lot of apps out there, but it's hard to sort through them for the features I want, let alone to establish trust in their makers. Can you recommend apps that you use? [more inside]
We're making a list, and checking it twice?
What are some solid toys for the six- to twelve-month-old set? We need some ideas to advise eager grandparents! [more inside]
Maine sun family winter filter
New to Maine and want to plan a winter vacation for the family. Criteria are, sun, warmth, family easy, but quiet and no need for resort type functionality. Bonus for snorkeling! Of course cost is a huge issue! [more inside]
UK food processor recommendations
I'm looking for a good-quality, reasonably-priced food processor that's available in the UK. The budget is £150-£200. The Cuisinart Custom processor that Wirecutter recommends is not available in the UK (and the Cuisinart processor that is on sale here isn't of the same quality it seems). The UK processor that I've seen recommended in a few places (the KitchenAid 3.1L) has a lot of bad customer reviews.
November 25
Ideas for children's art projects that can be made in about 15 minutes?
Please give me your ideas for art/craft projects that children ages 5-11 can make in a relatively short amount of time. Anything with science-y elements would be especially appreciated, but not required. These will be for an arts event with several creation stations that the kids can circulate among, so it’s not expected that they’d spend more than 15 minutes or so at any particular project. These could be collaborative, but should also be possible to do individually.
Why is my dryer not drying?
Recently clothes going through my electric dryer have been coming out cold and damp. I cleaned out the ducts--no change. I replaced the heating element, which worked at first, but now the dryer's back to the status quo. What am I missing? Details after the jump. [more inside]
Am I repelling guys by being shy?
I’ve had guys literally run away from me, but I don’t know what I’m doing wrong! Please help! Snowflakes inside… [more inside]
So, am I about to get a detached retina?
For a few years I've been noticing weird things on the right side of my vision. They'll leave me alone for months but become frequent at times. They'll appear for a second, usually related to movement of my head but sometimes just movement of my eyes. I got a thorough exam in May by UCLA ophthalmologists and they didn't find anything. This weekend I've been suddenly seeing the shapes much more, but some of that may just be random reflections I'm focusing on due to anxiety. I've made a diagram so you can see it. Questions below the fold. [more inside]
Who Am I And What Could I Be?
I was a DVD author for 12 years, a practice very similar to workflow building, which is what I've been doing for the past few years: you discuss requirements with the client, map out the process, do the programming, test extensively, deploy. Do these two job types fall under a single umbrella/ discipline/ category, and are there other similar job types I'm unaware of that I could/ should be applying for? [more inside]
Custom t-shirt (etc) printing/fulfillment house recommendations
I've got a few ideas for t-shirt designs, and I'd like your recommendations for a print/ship fulfillment house where I can earn a commission on sales. [more inside]
Your favorite long range router(s) that can run dd-wrt or tomato w ease?
Before the deals are over, wondering if anyone has any positive experiences w/ routers (be they recent models or older ones) to share? [more inside]
What reasonably priced RC car would be best for a 4 year old?
Please help me find a suitable radio-controlled car for a 4 year old. [more inside]
Excel 260k rows of data, crashing when sorting by color to view dupes
Excel 2010 on a 64-bit Dell Latitude 7390 2 in 1 is crashing when I do the following on ~260,000 rows of data:
Highlight duplicate values (single column) and sorting by color to view those dupes. Hangs and then crashes every time.
Suggestions for workarounds?
Help me replace my hairbrush!
I have been using the same hairbrush for decades. Literally the same brush, not just the same brand. Help me find a replacement that works in my very thick and wiry hair before my beloved old brush deteriorates completely! [more inside]
Affordable small modern laptop for a teacher?
New laptop needed, budget £500 or less, for teaching work and some video viewing - but certainly not heavy gaming! Strangely, there seems to be a bit of a gap in the market for compact machines with a screen smaller than 15 inch between the really cheap netbooks (too unreliable in my experience) and the better-specced machines which only start upwards of £750. [more inside]
Getting a visa to work in Bay Area tech: doable or not?
I'm a tech-producer/project manager from Europe, and decided I'd like to move to the Bay Area and get a job in tech. What are my odds as someone without a visa? I have a bunch of friends there, but all are born in the US, so don't generally know much about visas. [more inside]
Pregnant in Denver: Shops, food, experiences, and gifts
Have you ever been pregnant while living in Denver? Know or love someone who has? What local spots were your fave or had awesome benefits for the gestationally inclined? [more inside]
Help me find a beaker with an inner diameter of just over 3 inches.
I am looking for a heavy-duty Pyrex (or similar sturdy borosilicate) straight-walled beaker, so that I can use it with my hand blender for making mayonnaise and aioli. For this purpose, the beaker needs to be just barely larger than the head of the hand blender, which is 3" in diameter. All of the specs I see list the outer diameter, but I don't know how thick the walls are, or if that counts the beaded rim. Can any of you scientists help me out?
New ideas for interesting or useful stocking stuffers
Every year I give my mother, my aunt, my mother-in-law, and my father-in-law Christmas stockings with a wide variety of gifts inside. I try to give them a good balance of actually useful stuff (mini flashlight that fits on keyring, reusable shopping bag that collapses down to a little pouch, etc) and unusual stuff (tiny collectable Japanese cat toys, bizarre finger puppets, etc). I have thoroughly plundered the prior AskMe questions for previous years' stockings. Please give me any new suggestions you have!
How do I find a partner?
I am a straight, single woman in my early thirties, and am looking for a partner. What can I do, most effectively, to find love? I have tried dating apps exhaustively, am very active in my community, and have asked friends to set me up. That has led to a lot of dates over the past seven months -- maybe fifty? -- but I still haven't found love. What habits can I cultivate and what venues should I look into that will make the odds as good as possible that I'll find it (and soon)? [more inside]
Noise-blocking solution for sleep
I'm a light sleeper. For the next year I'll be living across the street from a fire hall (sirens) and a strip club (drunk yelling). Please help. [more inside]
You get the day off for what?
I just found out that my sister-in-law's school district in Pennsylvania gives students the day off tomorrow for the first day of hunting season. I had never heard of that before! So it got me wondering what kinds of other hyper-local quirky holidays schools give off around the country. I know Brooklyn/Queens day in NYC, and Patriot's Day in Massachusetts but can't really think of any others. I'd love to hear what else is out there!
Sellin' T-shirts
I would like to create and sell images online for T-shirts, cards, and whatnot. I have some questions mainly about copyright on stock images and fonts, but any suggestions for the most hands-off platforms for this sort of thing would also be appreciated. [more inside]
Jewelry makers & security folks: Can I make a Yubikey Nano necklace?
I want a Yubikey Nano, but I don't want it to live on my keychain or in my device. I need your help in making a third option: a necklace or bracelet! [more inside]
Trouble keeping throat clear when running
TMI alert; I'm having some trouble keeping my throat clear when running and I'll put the details below the fold. [more inside]
Multi-coloured pens that don't smudge or skip
I use pens to make drawings of stuff I'm thinking of building. I like to use multiple colours, and I'm often immediately drawing one part over top of another. The cheap ballpoints I've used are good because they don't smudge, but they often skip, drawing only part of the line. The cheap gel pens I've used are good because they make bold lines and don't skip, but my immediate overwriting results in smudges on the page and dirty hands. Are there pen models which can give me the best of all these worlds - multiple colours, no skipping, no smudging - that are widely available for a moderate price?
How to not overthink it
I've got a date with somebody, and it's totally not a big deal. Really. It's just a date. [more inside]
I used to hate _____ing, then I found Y
Here are three recent examples of how I've successfully adopted a new habit after failing at it for years, by discovering the existence of a slightly different thing that eliminates/reduces my avoidance. I'd like to extend the pattern! [more inside]
I bought a pound and a half of 2%-milk based cheddar cheese. AMA!
I went to the supermarket to buy cheddar cheese, it was on sale, the 2% version looks nearly identical to the full-fat version. I bought two packages. I came home and was distraught, wanting all the fat I am entitled to, so I went back to the supermarket, and bought eight more ounces. Of a 2% version. [more inside]
personal finance 101
Hello. I'm a 40 year-old adult who makes a reasonable income doing steady freelance gigs. I pay my bills, I get to travel, and my savings are a joke. I know the standard advice here is to get a fee-based financial adviser, but the thought of doing so stresses me out because I feel so financially illiterate. So I've decided it's time to read up on personal finance to educate myself. Any books you can recommend, MetaFilter? Website and articles are okay too, but I think having a book would be the most help.
another midlife crisis question
Hi, I could use some recommendations for positive real or fictional role models for the kind of person I am--female, middle-aged, feminist, and fannish--because I kind of hate that person. And so do many other people. [more inside]
Should you tell someone they’ve made you uncomfortable?
An ex crossed the line professionally a couple of weeks ago. Then 2 days ago, he texted hello and suggested hanging out, perhaps out of politeness. So it appears that he thinks everything is fine. However, I was upset and uncomfortable by the incident. Should I bring it up? How do I bring it up? Since we work in the same field, some friends mentioned that his response could make things worse so I shouldn't say anything. That's not surprising. My field is full of people smiling when they don't mean it. Any advice or personal stories? [more inside]
Mid life career changes retraining
Did you retrain and make a career change in later life? Tell me about it [more inside]
November 24
Logistics for replacing a wood garden gate with a metal one
I have a splintery but sturdy wooden garden gate which I'd like to replace with a metal gate. The metal gate is heavy wrought iron. Overall size is identical, and the new gate is already pre-hung. Current wood gate is anchored by wood posts sunk in concrete holes. Sturdy, but could be removed. Do I need to remove and replace the concrete to install the metal gate, or can I somehow use the existing infrastructure?
suggest a dessert that satisfies my bizarre logistical constraints
I'm going to come back from a week out of town and then later the same day leave again for a potluck in another state. Can the hive mind suggest a dessert which can be prepared, stored for a week, then transported for six hours at room temperature and served without a kitchen? Preferably finger food, preferably can be pre-portioned. Savory is fine. Cheap is good. [more inside]
Need help finding a band/their music/how to listen to it
The band was named House of Leaves, an electronic band from the Pacific Northwest. They had a Myspace about 10 years ago that we contacted them through to ask if we could buy their music anywhere and the response was "nope". Most of the songs had no lyrics, the music was very keyboard-heavy. [more inside]
Advice on transitioning from a hidden undercut to a hidden death hawk?
I have an undercut that I'd like to turn into a deathhawk, but not sure how to go about it or if it's a good idea. Pics inside. [more inside]
What level of safety concern travelling to the Oaxaca coast?
My partner and I are going back to Puerto Angel, on the Oaxacan coast, for a week to celebrate our anniversary in the beginning of December. In light of recent events and tensions, how concerned for safety should we be? We are respectful, polite travelers, one of us is fluent and the other tries real hard. [more inside]
Are these scratched carbon fiber bicycle handlebars dangerous to use?
I temporarily dry fitted these carbon fiber handlebars into this stem, without tightening or assembly paste. The sharp corners of the face plate and stem dug into the clamp area as I was moving the bars around while building the rest of the bike. Can I still use these bars safely? [more inside]
Deck the halls with Christmas starters??
We are gearing up for our annual festive meal with friends and need to produce a starter this year and AskMeFi is bound to have some Thoughts and Suggestions. There are, of course, complications ... [more inside]
What should I bake for Holiday gifts
So traditionally I bake granola and caramel corn to give out to people as gifts since I hate buying adults presents. But I feel like I've been doing that for ages and I'd like to try something new. I've also done biscotti in the past that went over well. Any other suggestions? Item should be tasty and relatively long-lasting.
Big Bend must sees
My main squeeze and I planning a 4-day river trip through Boquillas Canyon on the Rio Grande in Big Bend Nat'l park. The trip will be bookended with a day or two to explore. Where should we go? Camping, hiking, cool stuff to see, etc. We like water and dramatic sights and stunning hikes of any intensity. [more inside]
How can I see my IP cameras without an app?
I bought a no name wireless IP camera system. The monitor connected to the wireless receiver works great. But the app the company suggests I use to see them on my phone is terrible. [more inside]
Argon walks into a bar. Barkeep says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Scientists of Metafilter: Please explain to me how molecular mass affects gas behavior. Do heavier gases pool in low-lying areas at ambient pressure, and do lighter gases rise higher, or is this a myth? What about inside canisters, at higher pressures? Why do they or don't they? [more inside]
Can I give my dog pills that got wet?
My English Bulldog Daisy (obligatory picture and picture takes 100 mg Gabapentin to help her sleep at night and avoid the sundowner effects of canine dementia. The pills got wet. Can I still give them to her? [more inside]
Looking For Speakers for Upcoming Buckminster Fuller Event
I am producing a TED-like event on Buckminster Fuller in Spring, 2019.
The theme is "The Confluencing Influence of Buckminster Fuller."
I am now in the process of looking Bucky-oriented speakers for this event. Who else could I invite? Speakers contacted so far listed inside: [more inside]
How do I break through a mental/energy slump during the work day?
Part-way through most weekdays, usually after meetings that require a lot of thoughtful social interaction, I suddenly hit a wall. I feel entirely depleted of energy and spoons. Sometimes I feel sleepy, but usually I just feel out of gas, out of energy, done. All of the good intentions I started out the morning with go out the window. Everything on my to-do list that doesn’t have a firm deadline gets pushed off to another day. [more inside]
A series of uninformed questions as I try to buy a smartphone
I'm trying to buy a smartphone without having to spend two weeks getting up to speed on the latest deals and features. Advice? Want to tell me what to buy? [more inside]
Is there a non-pork substitute for lard?
Is there like- duck lard or goose lard or something? [more inside]
Photo Printing Recommendations for Mailing Direct-to-Customer?
My fiancée is interested in opening an Etsy shoppe (or similar) for selling her photos online, and I'm looking into the best options for photo-printing for her. The ideal online-printing service would ship the prints directly to the consumer without too much hassle about that (i.e. we'd rather not be a middleman for shipping purposes.) [more inside]
Cabin on the Maine coast over New Year's
Me and the potential Mrs. FalseDmitri are seeking to rent a cabin on the Maine coast over New Year's. What can you suggest?
Best way to get a cat not to bite nylon blinds?
My daughter's cat has chewed himself a hole in the nylon miniblinds that are by her window. He's done this before, to the old set of blinds, but this time he is really going to town with the chewing. We'd like to dissuade him so that he doesn't accidentally swallow any little bits of them. [more inside]
First hand accounts of mid-life crises - after the fact
A recent AskMeFi had me interested in finding first hand (true, not fictional) accounts of people who went through mid-life crises and how they interpret it years later. [more inside]
Yerba mate straws in Toronto?
This is a long shot: I'm looking to buy someone a yerba mate drinking straw (bombilla) in Toronto for Christmas. [more inside]
Can I Repurpose SD Card From NookColor to Samsung Phone?
I want to remove an SD card from an old NookColor to then use the card in a Samsung Note 3 phone. What’s the best and easiest way to do this so that it’s ready for installation in the phone? [more inside]
Non-profit Accounting Software Recommendations
I work for a non-profit with an annual op budget under $1million and we hate our accounting software with the fire of a thousand burning suns (Sage 50). For assorted reasons, we don't want Quickbooks. I'm looking for recommendations for accounting software that meets just a couple of needs (after the jump): [more inside]
For streaming iPad and Macbook Pro to TV: Any alternatives to Apple TV?
The title pretty much says it all. I've looked over the internet, but can't seem to find a straight answer. I want to wirelessly stream my screens to my LG 1080p non-smart TV, but I'd like to avoid spending so much money on Apple TV if possible. [more inside]
Christmas getaway in the Pacific NW
We are a collective of people - 4 adults, a baby, a tween, and 2 dogs - and we want to do something driving distance from Seattle and Portland the weekend before Christmas up to Christmas Day. What should we be looking at? [more inside]
MtG: What cards have TWO humanoid creatures in the illustration?
My daughter's boyfriend has asked me to Photoshop him and my daughter into a Magic card (I love this guy) -- but I can't think of or find any cards with two humanoid creatures on them. Can you help?
Help us sssssss
My five year old is still pronouncing her „s“ as a „th“. Her tongue‘s in the wrong place but I‘m having problems communicating where she should be placing it. She seems genuinely puzzled by my explanations.Before we try speech therapy, are there any easily understandable instructions / playful excercises that I can do with her that‘ll help her find her „s“?
November 23
I have a young family and don’t see a future for the marriage
The deal: I am 40 and have been married for 5 years and together 9. We have a 6 month old baby and mortgage. I have felt that the relationship is not what I want for 2.5 years. [more inside]
I refused my mother’s expensive necklace and I feel guilty what do I do?
On my mother’s 90th she wanted to give me one of her expensive necklaces and I refused it
because I wouldn’t use it, Now I realize I might have hurt her feelings. I was visiting for the holidays and am wondering if I should see her before she leaves and tell her I changed my mind. Is it too late?
How do I buy self-discipline?
I want start my days right even if I have to pay someone to do it for me. [more inside]
All I want for Christmas is the recipe for this mystery delicious cookie
I'm working from memory here. These thin, crispy homemade cookies were packed in a cookie tin and given as a Christmas gift in Boston, MA about 5 to 6 years ago. I don't know who made the cookies and have no way of finding out. [more inside]
No please, do drone on....
My wife wants to get her dad a drone for Christmas but all the ones she's looked at require a smart phone and app to fly. That's not really ideal since my in-laws don't have smart devices.
Anybody have suggestions and/or experience for drones (with cameras) that can be flown without a smart phone (ideally with display included on the control pad) in the under $200 range? (CDN not USD though I'm told this is a "soft" limit so a bit more is probably okay if it's good quality.) [more inside]
Hobbies? Goals? Hobby goals?
For years my goal was go to grad school for [field] get job in [field]. And now I've done that, and moved out of my parents' house and now I'm finding I have more time but less money. I'd sort of like some kind of free/cheap hobbies to grow/develop or other goals a late 20s person should be working on. What are of goals/hobbies that I haven't listed below that meet this criteria? Is there a cheaper/free way to do some of the goals I've listed below? [more inside]
How can I make one Echo control another and turn on lights?
I'd like to set up a new Echo skill, so that I can ask my living-room Echo, "Alexa, deck the halls", whereby it would turn on the switch that lights the tree (easy!) and then play a Christmas music stream on the "Porch Echo". [more inside]
Video games where you visit a variety of worlds
I haven't played a ton of video games, but I've noticed that the ones I've really loved feature different worlds or 'countries' -- like in Super Mario Odyssey, where you go to a desert world, a city world, a snow world, etc. Two other games I've liked a lot -- Little Big Planet and Double Fine's The Cave -- have a similar feature. Looking for recs for more games like this for the Switch or PS4! Also, is there a term for this kind of game that would help me when searching for something new? [more inside]
Recommendations for underwhelming, but hilarious tiny gift
So, I like to give my sister gifts that elicit a reaction. Most of the time I shoot for delight, but sometimes, I go for the laugh. I have a colorful nested set of 12 boxes that I'm going to wrap and gift to her. After she finally and frustratingly reaches the center, I want her to be completely underwhelmed, but also find whatever it is hilarious. What should I put inside??? [more inside]
You're not my mother's accountant...
My mother had to submit a tax adjustment to the Canada Revenue Agency to fix a pretty huge mistake the accountant who initially did her taxes made. The CRA sent her a letter requesting one of several tax forms and several receipts from the bank. My mother has already called the bank and will get the receipts, but... we have *no idea* where to get the forms the CRA wants. What do we do now? [more inside]
I could have sworn this required opposable thumbs
One of my cats heretofore not known for his brilliance, Allan, has figured out how to turn on the faucet so he can enjoy that sweet running water. For obvious reasons (starting with his disinclination to turn off the faucet...), I am not altogether thrilled by this development... [more inside]
Will deer eat olive trees? Bay Area near UC Berkeley...
We just moved to the hills around UC Berkeley and want to plant some olive trees, but are concerned because deer seem to eat everything else we've planted. Besides deer-proofing the entire yard, what are our options? [more inside]
Positive stories against the stereotype of a "loner"
Inspired by but only partially related to this AskMe question, what are some positive stories of people who live alone? [more inside]
Unraveling sweaters for yarn
Can I unravel decent/good quality cashmere sweaters and reuse the yarn while still keeping my relatively good disposition and sanity? If so, specific instructions appreciated. [more inside]
New normal after concussions
Years ago I suffered a series of concussions in quick succession in a domestic violence situation. Now, my PTSD is well in hand, and I'm struggling with finding out what my limits are. [more inside]
Alexa, play something we all won't be bored with
Our family get together have alexa playing music in the background. Invariably the mix will turn very, very dull. Part of the issue is that we have a mix across generations, religions, and political sensibilities. Can you please recommend some magic phrases that start with"alexa, play... " that will keep the mood upbeat an include a good variety of genres and artists?
Wording for a Will on percentage distributions
I'm struggling to come up with wording in my will that clearly and understandably accomplishes what I'm after. Lets say that I have dollars that I want to distribute in various percentages to beneficiaries b1, b2, b3, b4, b5, with respective percentages p1, p2, p3, p4, p5. If one of the beneficiaries predeceases me then I want the percentages restated in a way that preserves the original weightings. [more inside]
Who DOES that?!
I yelled at my Thanksgiving dinner guest for letting the cat eat turkey right off of the serving platter. She shouldn't have done that but was I too mean in my reaction? [more inside]
Is having Linksys guest wireless something I need to deal with?
For reasons, it is a moderate burden to remove the default guest account on my out-of-warranty but still functional Linksys router that I just dusted off and set up due to a switch of internet providers. Do I need to worry about it? I tried connecting to it myself, and while I didn't get a password prompt, it also didn't have internet connection. [more inside]
Trying to find a specific sugar free Fruit Cake Recipe
My mother passed recently & as I'm in another country and all her recipes have ended up god knows where. In among those recipes was her famous "diabetic" fruit cake recipe , At least that's what she called it but it was full of so many dried fruits it was more a no added sugar recipe than diabetic friendly in any way. I'd love some help tracking this half remembered recipe from my childhood down. [more inside]
Should I go ahead with this home sleep study?
On Wednesday, I checked out equipment, and went through an instructional session, for a home sleep study. This requires authorization from my insurance company, which I have. However, I am currently on a drug regimen (started on Tuesday) which is only for a short time and which is designed to reduce inflammation drastically, so I'm worried the sleep study will show that I'm breathing better than I usually do. [more inside]
Best way to handle this split magnolia tree trunk
An ice storm just split our magnolia tree branch. We cut off the broken branch, but are left with a split section about 20 inches in length on a main trunk. The trunk is about 16" around. What is the best route to handle this to save the tree? Would it be some sort of glue and wrap, or cut off the split portion and seal with something, or something completely different? Thanks for any ideas on how to best handle our favorite tree!
Picture here
I've lost an excel file in dropbox -- How does dropbox work..?
I set up dropbox a long time ago for a family member, and now I have to find a file.... It's not in dropbox's "deleted files" because I think it wasn't synced. But it's no longer in the dropbox folder on a Win7 machine, either. [more inside]
How do I learn to make babby... I mean, Icelandic wool sweater
My husband's dream is for me to knit him an intricate Icelandic wool sweater. I... have never knitted a sweater before. I would like to make his dream come true but will obviously need lots of practice with making more basic sweaters and learning to gauge size with much more simple sweater patterns. Does anyone have specific examples of sweater patterns I should start with? Current level of knitting knowledge inside. [more inside]
How to remove old ADT/Brinks alarm system wall keypad?
In the past year I moved into a condo that has hardwired security system keypads (specifically: Brinks model BHS 3000), but the security system itself is defunct, and I don't plan to start it up again (at least, not the same kind of system). I want to remove one or two of the keypads by myself, but they are designed to be hard to remove by a non-specialist. Which is to say, I don't know how to do it. Advice? [more inside]
Siri, help me with a shortcut
I would love to be able to do a few things with the new shortcut app everyone is raving about in iOS 12. I can't seem to find the actions I need though and they're hard to google. Please help. [more inside]
South Asian cooking with black mustard seeds
For cooking black mustard seeds as part of a tadka, I've read wildly contradictory advice online. If you use this technique in your own cooking and are happy with the results, how do you recognize the moment when they've been cooked enough? Are there signs besides popping you use to check whether you've done it right (color, smell, taste)? [more inside]
How to display/frame a Medicaid ID? (inspiration piece, out of poverty)
Hello,
A family member, a well-respected doctor, gave me their former Medicaid ID, as a form of inspiration and encouragement. I would like to frame/display the card on my desk at work. Any creative ideas? Maybe framing it with a quote underneath? I imagine Pinterest might have some neat ideas, but I would not know where to start with a search. Thank you!
Suggestions for Mental Health Therapist in Columbus, Ohio
Greetings, All
I am looking for a Mental Health Therapist in Columbus, Ohio, specializing in PTSD, Stress, and Trauma, and/or CBT.
I am looking for a female therapist. I prefer a younger therapist if possible, close to my age,20-30s. Any advance is appreciated. [more inside]
Help me find a particular Enid Blyton story
In this story, the children are left in a neglected, overgrown garden, and decide to clean it up. They discover the remains of beautiful architectural features, such as colourful mosaic tiles under the weeds. I don't think it was one of her more famous series like Famous Five or Secret Seven, but I could be wrong.
What would you read instead of Knausgaard?
It's not that I have any particular issue with him; the excerpts that I've read seem taking enough that I'd probably read one of the books if I happened to have a copy. It's just that whenever people - as in this post on the blue - talk about what they're reading instead, that sounds so much more interesting. [more inside]
Android phone for hiking
Can you recommend an Android phone that works on Verizon for hiking and backpacking use? [more inside]
How to respond to family teasing?
What are possibly responses to family teasing? I'm seeking both adult responses and responses on behalf of a child. [more inside]
Fios Quantum Gateway Modem
What's the right way to buy my own Fios Quantum Gateway Modem? [more inside]
Ways to be treated more respectfully?
I've just gotten off the phone with someone - two someones in fact - who spoke abominably to me. This happens to me a lot even though I am in a respected position! What can I *do* to encourage people to speak to me respectfully? [more inside]
Please tell me about your post-lumbar puncture experiences.
I had a lumbar puncture on Monday (11/19), and my recovery has been . . . not great. Headaches, nausea, weakness and fatigue, clumsiness and foggy thinking, and just generally wanting to lay in bed forever. When does this end? [more inside]
When I grow up I want to be the Studs Terkel of menopause.
Help me develop the concept for an AD-FREE podcast where people talk about what it's like to grow older ... physically, mentally, emotionally. [more inside]
I can go for that?
No matter what I watch on YouTube, "I Can't Go For That" is always the "up next" video! Why? I mean, I love Hall and Oates as much as the next guy, and the video certainly inspires some blazer/shoulder pad longing, but I haven't watched it a zillion times or anything.
I'm finding this hilarious and wondering why YouTube/Google/The Internet has decided that this song is the nexus of my internet experience. Any thoughts?
November 22
I want to sample perfumes that showcase a particular note.
I like perfume samples. I want to buy samplers that showcase specific notes. Who will curate and send these to me? [more inside]
Aftereffects of getting Implanon removed?
After under a year of being on Implanon, it turns out that it really doesn't work for me so I'm getting it removed. What can I expect (especially moodwise) afterwards? [more inside]
Barkbox
I'm interested in barkbox but I'm finding it hard to find non-sponsored reviews. If you've tried it, I'd like to know why it did or didn't work for you. I'm aware of review sites for subscription boxes, but I'm looking for additional opinions.
Did I scare him away or is it genuinely just because of his travelling
So this guy (30) and I (25F) had known each other at work at Uni (he's staff and I was postgrad student) for over a year but never really properly talked to each other, until at some event at Uni ( I don't work there anymore as I finished a year ago) we were talking for quite a bit. And I could tell there was a mutual attraction between us. A few days later I friended him on FB and we started texting daily. The texting was a bit intense with him sending all the lengthy messages and asking all the questions, and I mirrored him doing the same. He even bought me 16 big blocks of chocolates after I joked about it... [more inside]
Can ozone remove odors from wool?
I had a bunch of clothes that I stored with a dry cleaner over the summer and they came back with a weird chemical odor that doesn't go away with airing out. (They cleaned a second time and odor is still there--must just be their process).
I've used ozone generators in the past to clean odors from walls and wondered if anyone had experience using this method to remove odor from wool (which seems notoriously hard to rid).
How Can I Make This Shirt Softer?
I have a favorite Dickies brand shirt (just like the one in the link) that is embroidered with my name and a logo. I love this shirt, but its too stiff to wear comfortably. Is there a quick way to soften this shirt without damaging the embroidered parts? Any ideas appreciated. Thanks!
Walking away from Brexit?
At the start of Brexit, some commentators pointed out that at any point during the two year transition period, the UK could simply walk away from Brexit, and the UK would stay in Europe. What happened to this idea - is it still legally (if not politically) viable?
To where do your babies trot-trot?
My family is doing the trot-trot rhyme with my neice at our Thanksgiving party, the one that starts, "Trot-trot to Boston, trot-trot to Lynn…" Do people not from Massachusetts do this? If so, do you trot-trot to other towns? [more inside]
How can I save popcorn kernels for a LONG time?
I received a wonderful amish popcorn kernel variety pack. [more inside]
Coping with narcissistic houseguest
My mother isn't abusive anymore now that she has little power to wield, but used to be emotionally abusive. She's staying with me for over a week to visit my child. I'm doing well coping with multiple areas of my life and don't want to lose my progress. Tips for compartmentalizing and such appreciated! [more inside]
TV Recaps
What is a good replacement for the TV episode recaps on AV Club? I still try to read AV Club but the continued degradation of the website makes it really hard. [more inside]
I do not consent to these dreams!
I am currently living a committedly celibate and chaste lifestyle. In retaliation, my body has begun subjecting me to extraordinarily sexual and sensual dreams. This needs to stop. [more inside]
This person was 98% wrong for me, so why am I sad they're gone?
I recently attempted to casually date someone, but kept pumping the brakes because of what seemed like boundary-pushing, as well as significant asymmetries in interest levels, values, and lifestyles. Then we slept together and it blew my mind, but I didn’t accede to his request for another date right away because he still seemed too keen. Now he appears to have stomped off in frustration, and I feel sad and doubtful. Am I thinking with my privates and romanticizing a loose cannon with whom I had extremely limited compatibility, or did I mess up because I’m an anxious spoilsport? [more inside]
ISO replacement sweatshirt -- Toronto edition
Friend's mom has a sweatshirt she loves. Sweatshirt is old and kind of falling apart. We're looking for a replacement. [more inside]
WTF candied pecans
Keep f*ing up candied pecans... help me [more inside]
Letter from ICE addressed to my apartment (not to me)
I received a letter from ICE “Enforcement & Removal Operation” addressed to someone I don’t know at my new apartment. (I just moved.) I have not opened it because it’s not addressed to me. [more inside]
Things to do near BWI today
My flight from BWI to SFO was delayed 24 hrs due to mechanical difficulties. I am near BWI and looking for stuff to do today. [more inside]
Advice on recovering from (mild?) pneumonia
I had pneumonia for a while. I think not too bad as pneumonia goes. I seem to be recovering. I’ve heard stories about people having weeks, or months, of fatigue after this illness, and needing tons of rest. I’m not sure if that’ll happen to me, but it worries me. I’ve been advised (by online sources, and my doctor) to not push too hard. But I’m not sure what that means. I’m curious what I might expect, and what I should do, as I recover, and how to ease back into regular life. [more inside]
Use real phone as a softphone
The office where I work has been remodeled into an open office plan. They've taken away our physical telephones so we have to use softphones, run through our computers. I have a headset for conference calls. Can I get a real phone and connect it to my computer to use as a softphone for regular calls? [more inside]
Looking for a PS1 game. It involved setting traps.
I'm looking for a PS1 fantasy game. It was part of a series (I played the third entry). It was a fantasy game that involved setting traps, then admitting enemies in order for them to be defeated by the traps. I wish I could remember more than that.
clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right
Since my dad died, I have been given responsibility for handling a lot of family financial and other administrative affairs, and I am feeling overwhelmed with having to balance my responsibilities to my family with my responsibilities to my work. I'm sure other people manage this - how do you, without letting it all get to you? [more inside]
Green card re-entry to the US - just under, or just over six months?
I'm a green card holder with a job in the US. I've been overseas on sabbatical for the last five months and am now planning my return trip. Originally I intended to re-enter the US on the 180th day after I left, to avoid having to 'apply for re-admission' (i.e. be interviewed at the border and potentially get my passport endorsed).* Now I see on the internet that some people already get hit with this at 5 months 28 days or so. Does anyone have any experience of this? [more inside]
Where could I order small amounts of canvas hats and shoes on a budget?
I'm dipping my toes into the idea of selling hand-drawn things at markets and am wondering where would be best source for canvas shoes of varying sizes and hats for as cheap as possible without being hideously ugly?
I'm based in Australia.
November 21
learning to wake up during the night to care for infants?
I'm hoping to have a child soon, and expect to need to wake up during the night to care for it. Unfortunately, I can sleep through just about any noise. I have slept through parties, my alarm clock for an hour until it gave up and turned itself off, a fire alarm, and a trumpeter playing reveille at the foot of my bed. If you are similarly dead to the world, how were you able to learn to notice an infant crying? [more inside]
How to deal - when family member did the worst thing
A family member killed someone last weekend. Drugs were almost certainly involved, and it sounds like it happened during a fight, so I’m not sure what the charges will end up being. It still is horrifying. If you have resources for family members who have been in this situation, I would really appreciate them, particularly free or very low-cost and low-barrier resources. Even like a website or online group would be useful. Thanks.
What kind of dancing is this and how do I learn it?
What kind of dancing is this in Pharrell Williams's "Happiness" music video starting at 2:32? (only 4 seconds) It looks cool. How do I learn how to dance like that?!
Seeking fun constructive party diversion for kids/adults
Say you were having a party where there were plenty of introverts, some kids (over the age of 8), and creative people who maybe wanted a break from standing around talking. There was some kind of really interesting three dimensional thing(s) being built by people of varying skill levels in the corner of the room, that functioned in some humorous/cool way when "activated." There are not many rules or tough instructions. What is this thing?
Gift ideas for my dad.
I drew my dad for our Christmas gift exchange. Help??? [more inside]
How do people display their cards?
Be it holidays or birthdays or other event, I love getting cards and need a better way to display them. They stay up forever in my abode, but the bulletin board is....boring. [more inside]
Seemingly Simple Sock Search
I'm looking for something that seems like it would be easy to find: a pair of cotton athletic socks in a variety of solid colors. American Apparel sold a nice pair about a decade ago, but no longer. And nobody else does, either, it would seem. [more inside]
Is my neighbor being too noisy? Not sure if I am being unreasonable?
My neighbor has outdoor speakers and television....it’s so loud and driving me crazy. Parties every weekend, shouting and yelling. It’s like living next to a frat house at times. Please see extended explanation..... [more inside]
How to Cook a Small Turkey
Tomorrow I am roasting a turkey for only the second time in my life. It is a whole Swedish turkey that is only 8.26 pounds. That is the perfect size for my family, but all the recipes I have found online seem to be for turkeys that are twice as large. How do I make this edible? [more inside]
How do I accept money or gifts online while anonymous?
I will be receiving money transfers online, and I want to keep my identity a secret. What payment services allow me to remain anonymous from funders? Also, will providing an Amazon wishlist to them be securely anonymous? Bonus: what options let me be anonymous from the payment processor itself?
Settling in on Crone Island
I'm settling into being single for the long haul and mostly pretty comfortable about it but some things seem to be a lot harder solo. Any tips and good advice for building a sweet life on Crone Island? [more inside]
You put the rabbit in the hat...
I'm an American citizen nearing the end of a several-months-long stay in Switzerland. For reasons too peculiar yet banal to go into, I have about $5000 worth of Swiss francs in cash. I don't have a bank account in Switzerland (it's complicated for Americans, so functionally isn't an option), and I don't anticipate coming back in the near future. What's the best way to take my pile of francs and turn it into USD, prioritizing exchange rate over speed? [more inside]
Bulk phone case order
I would like to obtain 32 cases for a moto e4 (USA version). This is the 5 inch screen, not the 5.5. Finding this on Amazon was harder than anticipated.
Requirements:
-ideally all the same
-ideally an unpopular color like yellow or gross green or something
-ideally cheap, like less than $4 per case.
Any resources would be appreciated.
Is there a professional resource for navigating life with cancer?
I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma two years ago, and so far my treatment has gone well, but now that the immediacy of treatment and recovery have passed, I am a little lost about how to structure my life to deal with the uncertainty of the years that I have left. I am 49, which is young for this type of cancer. I am also single, with part-time custody of two grade-school children, and no other family support. There is a good chance I'll live another ten years or more but there is also a chance I'll relapse much sooner, and I feel like I have to prepare both for my death and a radically different life at the same time. I want to find a professional resource that I can sit down with and discuss my situation and help me make plans for the future. [more inside]
Good karaoke pubs in Toronto
Looking to host a pub night with karaoke somewhere in the downtown Toronto area. Hope me please. [more inside]
Recommend some feel-good Sunday Netflix films
I'd like to start a Sunday afternoon streaming movie tradition to get me through this cold winter, and I'm looking for recommendations that can be streamed on Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime. But they must be fun, feel-good films or at least have happy endings. [more inside]
Holiday Recruiter Job info Etiquette
Hi, AskMe. As per this previous question, I'm being considered for a role at a managed service company. I had a panel interview Wednesday, which I apparently passed with flying colors, at least according to the recruiter. I was told to expect feedback from the client's senior management by early next week. Is it horrible etiquette to follow up at this point in hopes of a definite answer before the holiday? [more inside]
I love beer. But seems I cannot drink it!
I love beer. But seems I cannot drink it! My system cannot take carbonation. (irritable B.D.) I am wondering if there might be a way around this. Not likely?
Easiest scenarios for sending parcels between countries
Given the following countries, is it easier for individuals to send parcels between any particular combination of them? The countries are UK, US, Australia, and Canada. An example of the kind of info I'm looking for is something like "It's much easier to ship between __ and __ because they are both in the Commonwealth" or "It's easier to ship from the __ to anywhere else because (reason I'm not aware of)" or "Don't make people ship between __ and __ because it will basically never happen". Thank you! [more inside]
How do you sell stuff online?
I've put ads up for some used items. There's a lot of interest in a few of them. How do I manage replies? [more inside]
Mid 90’s robot noir comic?
I’m looking for the title of a comic that probably came out about 1993-1996. It was a noir satire (?) in which the main character was a private detective, but also a robot. I think it was called some combination of The [colour] [flower], like “The White Dahlia” or “The Black Lily”. [more inside]
Bathroom Cross stich phrasing rhyme
I want to get my friend a cross stitch for her bathroom that lets guests know you flush up for poo and down for pee. She wants something that maybe rhymes or sounds cuter than that. Any ideas for how i should phrase it ?
Some questions for other widows or those who lost a partner
I want to keep this short and sweet because there is way too much to explain but the point is hoping to solicit advice.
A little background -
I'm in my mid-30s and my husband passed away in April this year after seven months of battling cancer. We had not even been married a year when he got his diagnosis and in total we had three wonderful years together. I have a really amazing network of people who have helped me through everything from listening to me to taking me to do things to helping with the Estate and never did seek counseling.
Question to anyone out there that has been through this or can offer some advice, questions below the fold. [more inside]
CoveredCA gave my number away
I recently used CoveredCA, apparently the official California ACA Healthcare Exchange, to try to get insurance. I've not given my number to anyone else. I now get 20+ calls a day from various insurance brokers. Neither CoveredCA nor the Healthcare Commissioner's office says they can do anything about this. Has anyone else had issues like this trying to use the ACA? Who should I contact to complain, even if I can't make it stop? [more inside]
Is it possible to freeze my iPad screen?
Want to trace pictures from my iPad, but touchscreen moves around... [more inside]
How to prevent and/or cure "sleep dent" in hair
I wash my hair every other day. On the second day, I always, always wake up with a "dent" in my hair (like a part gone wrong) on the back of the crown of my head, which is odd because I sleep on my side, but whatever. The only thing that cures it is to entirely wash and dry my hair again. Simply wetting and drying that portion never works. But maybe you know something I don't? How can I either prevent this or fix it? Would a silk pillowcase help?
Is this thrift store print just a remake?
I bought a framed Escher drawing a few weeks ago at a thrift store for $5 as a decoration for my hallway.
After taking another look at it over the weekend, I'm sort of curious if it has any monetary value and its origins. What should I do next and can you confirm my cynicism that it's just worth the paper it was printing on? [more inside]
"lord! he looks like a strained hair in a can!"
In Georgette Heyer's The Toll-Gate (1954), someone very beat-up is referred to as looking "like a strained hair in a can." I think I understand the meaning from context, but I'd also like to understand the reference. [more inside]
A TV with an interface that doesn't suck
I'm looking to buy a 55-65 inch TV, and I have some specific things I'm interested in that don't seem to be easily searchable. [more inside]
Fiction with unsympathetic protagonists
I'm looking for examples of compelling, engaging stories (including films, novels, television shows, video games, etc.) featuring completely unsympathetic protagonists -- individuals who are loathsome, annoying, disgusting. This excludes people who at first glance might be bad but who you end up actually rooting for, like Dexter, but rather main characters who are totally repulsive and yet at the center of an engrossing story.
Thanks in advance! :)
Good ways to cram German
I’m applying for a job which will require my German language skills and if I get an interview it may be in German. I haven’t practiced much German for the last 10 years so I need to start brushing up now. Any ideas how I can do this? Recommendations for books music films or TV shows that could help? Bonus points if you can tell me how to learn the kind of jargon I’ll need to sell myself in an interview!!
On the market for a Task Manager app
I'm in the market for a task manager app. I've tried paper solutions (bullet journaling), and it doesn't suit me for task managing. I'm currently using Google Tasks because it was readily available, but it is simplistic to the point of uselessness, for me. I've googled around, but there are way too many choices! Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
Just learned my parent was a molester. Now what? (TW: sexual abuse)
I am in my mid 50s. My parents have been dead since the 1990s. I was recently told by someone I love and trust that one of my parents molested them as a small child for a period spanning many years. I believe them. [more inside]
Cool arty jewelry shops in Portland?
My 2 favorite pairs of earrings recently broke, and I feel naked without them. I'll be in Portland for a few days, and figure it's a good place to shop for cool jewelry. Any recommendations? I tend to prefer silver or mixed-metal earrings that are simple but interesting. More funky and industrial than gothy or fancy. My previous favorites were from an art gallery in Berkeley that sold local jewelers' work, is there something like that here?
November 20
A story within a story within a story...
What are some films that use the narrative device of a story within a story -- plus one more level -- WITHIN a story? Verbalized accounts where we don't actually watch the story play out, do not count. Extended flashbacks or dramatized stories are fine. Examples below. [more inside]
Help me transition from civil litigation to corporate
I'm a paralegal at a large law firm in Chicago. I've been with the same firm for over ten years and I would like to find paralegal work that doesn't require me to keep track of billable hours. [more inside]
Weird work schedule + extra roommate = drinking and weight gain
I find myself in a long, slow (but steady) descent into drinking too much, eating too much, avoiding exercise, and being pretty depressed much of the time. I think there are many reasons this began, but I think my work schedule (ten hour shifts, mostly nights), my long term house guest, and financial problems are making it harder than usual for me to pull myself together. I'm looking for books/articles/resources/suggestions/tips/etc. to help me move in the direction I want to go (less drinking, less sadness, more health). [more inside]
Holiday cards for Jews from a gentile
Hanukkah etiquette for gentiles [more inside]
Epson ES-400 scanner not working on Windows 10, works on W7
His Epson ES-400 scanner (scans multiple pages) works on his Windows 7 computer but will not work on his new Windows 10 Dell computer. Now I tried it on my Windows 10 computer and it works! ?!? [more inside]
An estate battle, a manipulator, and me (legal advice needed)
Despite past history of aggression, domestic violence, and manipulation, a borderline narcissist sibling (let's call him Zee) managed to convince me to work with him to try to sell the estate of a deceased parent several years ago.
After finally telling him I don't want to be involved anymore, Zee tells me that to get me off the negotiations, he'll need my state ID. Oh, and, he and I might still be sued if the sale of the house doesn't go through.
I'm in my twenties, several states away, with a full-time job, student loan debt, and a medical illness. I have no idea what to do and I'm scared. If you have any advice, I need it. Bad. [more inside]
How does someone build a rich, connected, creative life?
What are your secrets to embracing life and living fully in the short time we have? [more inside]
Lost iPhone with (possibly) no "find my iphone" enabled - what to do?
Tonight I seem to have lost my iphone on a public trail within the last few hours. It rings so it's still on, but I have retraced my steps entirely and can't find it. I don't think I turned "Find my iPhone" on. What can I do? More inside. [more inside]
Analysis of the fate of the "Great Slate"?
I was intrigued by the "Great Slate" tech effort to raise money for candidates the DCCC didn't fund. But only 1 of the 13 candidates on the slate won their elections. As 2020 approaches, I'm trying to figure out how to invest my political resources, both dollars and hours. Has there been any expert analysis/critique of why the "Great Slate" failed? Conversely, is there evidence that Sister District, another grassroots group pairing blue-staters with purple enclaves, was more effective? [more inside]
Seasonal Antidote
The Christmocalypse is approaching and, due to some last minute shit, I am Not Dealing At All. My usual antidote to this sort of mood is to bury myself in a game and I'd like some suggestions as to what I should escape into next. [more inside]
Easy/Free Graphic Design Software for PC? (Text-Only Logo)
So, I'm playing around trying to make a logo for a new business. [more inside]
Can we just have this person's car towed?
YANML, however: My girlfriend's roommate made felony criminal threats against her. He's in jail right now. He's also in her parking spot - should she have his car towed? [more inside]
Door Identification
What's the best, online, basic Yoga experience?
What's the best online Yoga learning tool? I'm not against paying money for a class or a series of courses, but a quick google brings up eleven thousand options and I'm looking for a vouch! More deets inside. [more inside]
More music like this?: womp womp edition
I'm in love with the "womp womp" sounds starting at :31 in this remix. Is there a genre that encompasses this song? Any other specific songs y'all would recommend if that's my favorite part of this song? [more inside]
What does this say? Deciphering Historical Handwriting
I am researching a genealogical dead end in my family and recently found a death record with the names of the parents of the person I'm stuck at. Exciting! ... But I can't read the names. [more inside]
Battery heated vest recommendations
I'm looking to give a battery heated vest as a gift this holiday season, but finding it difficult to locate the perfect match. Ideal product would be a women's fit extra small with a not-too-bulky battery and layer well with other clothing. [more inside]
Vendor beware
A local merchant had been selling my art and gifts in her shop on commission. Then she suddenly moved and downsized without telling me. I've been having a really hard time getting my merch back, and now she's blocked my number. How should I proceed to get my things back or be compensated for them? [more inside]
How to make international teams feel close
Have you worked within an international team in a business sense? Did you feel emotionally close and friendly with them? Tell me how you made that happen. [more inside]
Is there a Persian Percy Jackson?
My 8-year-old loves Greek and Norse mythology, and contemporary fiction based on them. What books might she like that engage with non-Western mythologies? [more inside]
What do businesses do when purchasing from bots? Hope me accountants!
Our accounting department always expects to get a W-9 for any new vendor and gets very bristly if this is not provided. This causes a lot of delays when the vendor is an automated web site (e.g. providing a software license key) and there are almost no humans involved (or contact emails are scarce). What is the modern way to purchase things quickly in an IRS-compliant way from nearly virtual companies without weeklong delays? (This is for a US-based business, some of the purchases could be international.) [more inside]
'They' changed my lined paper. Recommendation needed
For years and years I have kept work notes on pads of lined paper. These are supplied to me by the office, I don't purchase them myself. The past few months, something has changed with the quality of the...adhesive isn't quite the right word, but the rubbery stuff at the top that holds the papers together. Now, when I fold pages back to get to the next page, the used pages fall off after a few days. This never used to happen. I've tried both office provided options available to me yellow pads and white pads (all from a big box stationary / office supply place), and they both have this fault. [more inside]
Should I drink it? Pet and/or Carnation evaporated milk version.
Evaporated milk adds so much to coffee, esp coffee with chicory. I had a hot cup ready to go 12 hours ago, set it down "over there" and over there it sat. I threw it down the drain a few minutes ago; I wanted to drink it but didn't, and won't, not without The Official MetaFilter Seal Of Should I Drink It Or Not approval. [more inside]
Wonky and Political Podcasts About How Society Works
I love wonky and political podcasts that have experts come on to analyze current social/political events and trends from the perspective of their expertise. And every time I find myself running a little dry of new episodes like that to listen to, I get tipped off to another fascinating podcast by you find folks on the Blue. So would you please do me a favor and turn this thread into a treasure trove of cool things for me to listen to over Thanksgiving? [more inside]
What does a parent need to know about XBox?
My teen-age son wants to buy an XBox. What does it really cost (console + games + subscriptions +??)? And what do I need to know about it, as a parent? We don't own any consoles now, besides the RetroPi I put together. [more inside]
best way to buy off contract iphone?
I would like to buy a new iphone 8 or maybe XR or pixel 3, but I am not on a major carrier and do not wish to be on one. All the black Friday specials appear to be for new or renewed activation on one of the four major carriers (in the U.S.). Am I missing anything? [more inside]
The history of TinyLetter?
I am writing something which requires a bit of information about the digital newsletter platform, TinyLetter. I'm really after fairly basic stuff: who made it and when, when it was bought by MailChimp, perhaps a couple of sources/citations which help me understand when it became popular. [more inside]
Signals to Boost
Who or what do you link to rather than bothering to respond to something wrong on the internet yourself? Please recommend compelling online commentators. [more inside]
Low Carb High Fat Veggie-centered Recipes?
After the success of this question, I'm turning to the green to look for veggie-centered low carb dishes that can be made and eaten as leftovers for a few days. [more inside]
Should I cut my losses or give friendship a chance?
I hung out with a guy from a dating app a couple of times over the past week. He was kind of hot and cold. Almost immediately after we hooked up for a second time he said he thought we should just be friends because of a recent break up has left him all over the place. At first I was okay with how things went but upon reflection I'm kind of upset and feel a bit used. Is this reasonable? Should I give him the benefit of the doubt? More inside. [more inside]
Need new tires for my sedan. Know almost nothing about tires. Help!
I'm replacing all 4 of my Michelin Defender tires (215/55R17 94T) on a 2007 Lexus ES350 sedan. I've had the tires several years (also probably didn't rotate them often enough) so they're due for a change out.
At about $150 a tire, I can replace them with the same model. I live in Atlanta, so I'm only dealing with rain and maybe ice on occasion. I drive about 5-8k miles a year in this car.
Should I stick with these same tires or is there a better alternative in this price range? Thanks!
I miss Favstar. Do you know if there is something similar?
I used to go to twitter hit parade,Favstar for daily laughs. It's gone and I miss it.
Any hivers here know of a similar site that's replaced it?
things to do in Philadelphia
I would like to visit Philadelphia. But I have no plan; help me make one! Difficulty level: Thanksgiving-adjacent. [more inside]
Can I store my refrigerator in an unheated space in the winter?
I have a refrigerator that I don't need to use right now. It's only about 2 years old so I would like to keep it for when I move out of this rental. Right now it is in an unheated and uninsulated storage shed attached to my carport. I live in Maine. Is it going to survive the winter? [more inside]
ISO this very specific earring
I have 3 of this earring, and I want to find a place to buy more pairs of it. I got it in Forever 21 in 2010. The main part of the star is plastic faceted like a gem. There's metal on the back that makes it reflect like and look all sparkly. [more inside]
Save my bacon! Or don't!
Fletcher's bacon from Costco, been in the fridge since we bought it, never frozen. Two weeks or so past it's use by / freeze by date. Looks fine, smells fine, fwiw and I know that's not definitive. What say you, Metafilter, bake it up today or toss it? (I tend to eat stuff like this which is why I felt I'd better ask what others thought.)
Hi, how do I make the Peter Principle happen to me?
How do I get my employer(s) to stop promoting people to management because they aren’t very good at individual contribution? [more inside]
I've found security holes in a cloud service. Now what?
With the best of intentions I reverse-engineered a cloud service's API and found it extraordinarily poorly secured. I would like to do the ethical thing and, if possible, not end up prosecuted. [more inside]
November 19
Hand and Arm Protection For Working in Meat Lockers
I am working in a butcher shop and am looking for protective and warm covers/mittens for forearms and hands. First thought were cycling gloves. Fingers need to remain open. Any suggestion upper Midwestern MeFites?
Uvula, I hardly knew ya.
I’m 10 days post-tonsillectomy, and am generally recovering well. However, my uvula is still pretty swollen, and I’m not sure if I should be concerned. [more inside]
Thanksgiving for Two
So I’ve gone from “all my friends are out of town I’ll do nothing “ to “oh hey cooking all day will keep me distracted!” So whose got thanksgiving for two recipes? We’re thinking turkey breast, stuffing, one appetizer, one side. Fussy and or distraction providing recipes a plus. Novel approaches like a turkey curry encouraged. Less prep work the better, all day-of. Minor condition, he doesn’t like stuffing with bread in it.
Boyfriend of 8 years possibly hinting at marriage
My boyfriend of 8 years seems to be hinting at marriage. Should I wait in the next couple of months to bring up the topic of marriage again? [more inside]
Sci fi as self care
I want sci fi or fantasy novels that are like a big, warm hug. Ideas? [more inside]
Expanding academic job search to EU
I'm applying for jobs teaching CS, want to broaden my search to include EU countries, not sure if I'm going about it right. [more inside]
My Mitsubishi remote doesn't let me set it as a thermostat.
We have a relatively new single zone Mitsubishi heat pump. It has the normal wall mounted wireless thermostat. I just bought and connected a wireless controller. I know it's connected because a change on either controller is reflected on the other. According to the manual, I should be able to choose to use either controller's thermostat but this option is not available on the remote. Does anyone know why this might be? Or where I could even go to ask this question?
Very specific purse request
Looking for a small purse/wallet with a long adjustable strap. Must be big enough for a normal sized phone and a set of keys, maybe 7” wide? Bonus if it has a clear ID slot. This is for my tween daughter so nothing too pricey. Thanks!
Silver is also very nice and should be something to be proud of
I’m in a newish relationship. My partner admitted I’m not the best lover they’ve had. I am having some feelings. How do I deal? [more inside]
Phase/word for "really looking forward to"?
You're really, really looking forward to something. Is there a single word (any language) or phase you'd use to communicate this?
How to handle a friend's unhealthy eating/exercising obsession?
A friend is struggling with feeling she's fat, is doing some extreme dieting things and has a history of binging and purging. I'm looking for some tips for dealing [more inside]
Ideas for learning musical instruments as a family?
I'm interested in encouraging regular playing with my family. Here's the rundown: my 4th grader is learning flute but struggling. Wife grew up playing piano but hasn't for many years. I played trumpet thru high school & college, but haven't picked it up for a loooong time. I also made a stab at acoustic guitar but didn't stick with it. I think we'd all be more motivated if we were working together on pieces. Musical MeFites, help me with ideas on what (music/instruments/iOS technology) could get us up and enjoying playing together fast.
Tread replacement for favorite shoes
My favorite pair of shoes can’t handle the amount of walking I do, and the tread on the soles wear out super quick. Instead of buying a new pair of shoes (the top of the shoes are still in perfect condition), I’m Looking for a way to rebuild the tread. There has to be an industrial glue/caulk/construction adhesive/boat anti-slip paint I can apply to the bottom of the worn out sole/tread to give me another few weeks/months of walking, right?
I’m thinking something that chemically bonds to the existing sole. Doesn’t have to be pretty, I can use some chopsticks to make a few horizontal lines to serve as treads :-)
Any thoughts?
For eloquent nerds, please
Mosquito A bites you and injects a nasty virus into your system. After the acute infectious period subsides, you are left with antigens which (hooray!) confer immunity upon you for that particular virus in the future. Is this the end of the matter? [more inside]
Talking with recruiters for the first time but not actively job-seeking
How do you talk to recruiters when you have a job you like, but want to keep your options open? [more inside]
Feminist adventure and action movies
What are some feminist action/adventure/heist/exciting movies for me to watch at the gym? Minimal torture preferred. Streaming somewhere a plus. [more inside]
Are there resources to find environmental internships for teenagers?
My son is in high school and beginning to look for a summer internship loosely related to the environment or doing work in the woods. The location needs to be in the Boston metropolitan region (and outskirts) and he's struggling to figure out where to start. Is there any central location (i.e. website) to help track down these sort of internships? Again, geography is an issue: looking for something in about a 20 mile radius of the Boston area. [more inside]
After the Flood (journals edition)
How do I save water-damaged journals? [more inside]
Yummy Dessert, Instant Pot Edition
What are your favorite desserts to make in the IP? I'm looking for tried and true recipes, otherwise I'd just Google it. Thank you!!
How to help my (male) child with long hair?
My 10yo boy has long hair (mid back, has had it for two years). He is very comfortable as a boy, he just likes long hair. Recently, he's been asking to wear a face balaclava, and when pressed, he broke down and cried and said it's because he's tired of people commenting on his hair all the time. How do I help him deal with other people? [more inside]
New Year's Eve in Santa Fe
Two thirtysomething women will be in Santa Fe for New Year's Eve. What should we do to ring in 2019? We'll be in town for three nights, including New Year's Eve. Our other plans for the trip include a lot of eating, a little drinking, walking around, art, Meow Wolf, and on the way home, Ojo Caliente. Any and all recommendations are welcome, but specifically, I'm trying to figure out where we should spend the evening of New Year's Eve. [more inside]
Earliest date to travel through Rockies snow-free
We'd like to drive from Toronto to LA and back as early as reasonably possible next year. To LA through Canada and back to Toronto via Arizona (Grand Canyon), Utah, Colorado, Nebraska, etc. But we don't want to die on a lonely Colorado mountain in a snow storm.
What's the earliest time of year we could reasonably expect to be snow-free on each of these routes? [more inside]
Help identifying electrical connector
Hello.
I have an electrical device, the power connector of which I’m trying to identify. [more inside]
I hate the new Gmail
After being happy with Gmail for a long time, the forced switch to “new Gmail” hasn't gone well. In short: it sucks and it’s full of bugs. It loads slowly, it reloads on its own for no reason while I’m in the middle of doing something and it keeps having me send attachments back to people who just sent them to me when I reply, which is embarrassing. On Twitter, people are asking to revert to old “classic” Gmail but Gmail’s response is that a switch isn’t possible. Well, I’m making my own switch... [more inside]
How do spacey millennials save for retirement?
Hello! I have a couple thousand in an old 401k at a company I no longer work at. I'd like to roll it into....something, where I can keep track of it, and be able to add additional amounts from my paychecks. My current employers do not offer retirement benefits, but I'm finally making enough that I can and should be saving for retirement. [more inside]
Mac woes
This seems like a simple thing but I can't find the answer online, so I'm relying on the collective wisdom of y'all. Please help - should be a simple one! My macmail keeps sending emails as if they are coming from one account when I wanted to send them from another account. In the macmail app it looks like it's been sent by the correct account, but in people's inboxes it's a different story. This is really messing with my conversational threads and bad for client management.
More detail inside... [more inside]
Tell me about personal air purifiers (no, I'm not in California)
There's been much discussion of personal air purifiers on a cancer support board I participate in. I'd really love some insight and links from MeFites. The most recent related discussion I found on AskMe was in 2015, and it seems like things may have changed since then - apologies if I've missed something. [more inside]
Can you help me see the Northern Lights this Christmas?
Can you help me find a good, all-inclusive hotel + flight package so I can enjoy the Northern Lights for the holidays this year? [more inside]
What is THE best travel laptop purse/backpack?
I've got a new job that requires travel every week. I need a laptop purse/bag that can be my home office on the road. I typically travel M-Th every week and need to carry everything with me at the end of every day. It needs to be durable for flights, remote office travel, and my general abuse. [more inside]
Is this website legit?
In an attempt to be cautious, I’m turning to Metafilter to assess the credibility of this retailer based in Australia. Please, only answer if you have experience in this area. Thank you very much.
Searching for a specific cookie recipe
When I was a kid (late 80s/early 90s), we made a cookie from a book called something like "Cookies" that I would love to recreate. The finished cookies were decorated to look like peaches even though they did not contain peaches nor have any peach flavor. Help me indulge my cookie nostalgia? [more inside]
Why do our friends always try to convince us to be just like them?
My spouse and I have been pretty close friends with a couple for the last 6 years. We have kids the same age. They are constantly, constantly trying to convince us to do what they do, travel where they travel, buy what they buy. I have been trying to figure out this behavior for as long as I've known them and I need to get closer to understanding it or my head will explode. [more inside]
Get a feed of most retweeted tweets from a list within a timeframe?
Is there a way to get a feed of the most retweeted tweets from a public list over a specific timeframe? [more inside]
Pre-teen Angst?
My 11 year old daughter is currently participating in an art class at our local museum, and the parents were invited for an open house for the first semester this weekend. They were working on their projects, and had their notebooks with them. On one of the pages of her notebook was a list of personal characteristics that she created, and none of them were terribly positive, and one is still bothering me today. [more inside]
How to discuss an upcoming job search with my boss?
Well, I'll be finishing the grad program I'm in a bit earlier than expected due to some departmental changes. I should be excited, but finishing the program earlier than I had planned is making me quite nervous because I'll have to be job searching earlier than expected. I'm going to be looking for work in a pretty competitive/difficult field (libraries) and I anticipate that my job search will take a bit of time. How can I approach my upcoming job search? Should I even tell him? [more inside]
A comfortable story in which the world doesn’t end
Recommend me a novel in which the stakes are low. [more inside]
November 18
Confront in law or not confront
My overall decent relationship with SIL is souring through a few grudges. Trying to decide if worth bringing them up to clear air, or just continue swallowing resentment and moving on. [more inside]
How do I ask for better feedback on an essay?
I got dinked on my essay on the technicality that it assumed too much background knowledge, making my argument too complex to follow. I had 1500 words to argue whether a thought experiment went one way or another, and I went one way, heavily citing as I did, with the logical extensions and ideas we'd been studying to go oh hey, this definition extended becomes dependent on that so blah blah - it was dense and logical. [more inside]
Seeking waterproof very warm winter coat
I lost my coat and want to invest in a long-term, quality, replacement.
If the two qualities are not inherently contradictory, I want it to be both very warm and truly waterproof. [more inside]
I want my stuff back!!!
What is the most affordable yet reliable way to get a box (or 2) of random things from Virginia USA to Melbourne Australia? [more inside]
Should I go to counseling with my mother?
Two-part question:
1) Would it be beneficial to see a therapist with my mother in attempt to rebuild our relationship? I stopped speaking to her over a year ago and have been much happier since, but my other family members won't stop arguing with me over the decision.
2) What things should I look for in a therapist in this situation? [more inside]
Where can I get good non obvious sci fi themed clothing?
Where, other than thinkgeek, could I find non obvious non crappy sci-fi clothing? For example this cool nostromo hoodie. [more inside]
Best audiobooks for anxiety disorder
After a bit of a perfect storm of physical health events happening at the same time I was weaning off an SNRI after 20+ years (see previous question), I'm in the middle of a bit of a relapse of a moderate-to-severe anxiety disorder and looking to augment my current coping and healing strategies with some audiobooks, specifically around accepting and releasing worrying thoughts and sensations that create spirals of anxiety over days and weeks. Whatcha got? [more inside]
Should I go to Kerala, India, if I don't want a beach holiday?
We're traveling to India in a few weeks. We're splitting time on the trip between big cities and then hopefully something different. We don't want to spend a vacation on a beach. Is Kerala a good destination? If not, where should we consider? [more inside]
More twilight doowop like this please
I have loved The Flamingos - I Only Have Eyes For You for as long as I can remember. Tonight listening to WFMU I heard Anyone Who Knows What Love Is (Will Understand) by Irma Thomas. I had no idea that there was more than one song with the feel of I Only Have Eyes For You. There are two! Are there more? Is this a sub-genre that I've somehow managed to remain criminally unaware of? What old spooky, dreamy, delicious soul/doowop songs similar to these have you all been keeping from me?
My Dog died 20 hours after Surgery
Hi,
A couple of weeks ago my 7.8 yo black lab died 20 hours after a benign ( results received and confirmed ) mass was removed with his spleen. The vets were not sure how he died. I’ll expalin timeline below. [more inside]
Allergic traveller in Malaysia.
I am allergic to all nuts, as well as peanuts. I am allergic to sesame seeds and fish. (I am not allergic to shellfish). I am NOT allergic to their smell or even minimal contact, but I must not ingest these foods. I carry 2 epipens with me at all times, but obviously I don’t want to deal with super-high stress at every meal. Can I travel in Malaysia easily, and without feeling every single meal is problematic? I can get a card describing my allergies in Malay. Thanks
Will these brussels sprouts keep until turkey day?
I’ve never had to store fresh brussels sprouts for longer than a day before... [more inside]
Can you make “mead” from fruit syrup?
I have a largish amount of green plum syrup left over from making maesil-ju (Korean plum liqueur) and I’m wondering if I can ferment it into something like mead? [more inside]
$$ for teens in the modern age?
Parents of Metafilter: how do you give your teenager money when they're going out with friends? I know there's some way to have a limited credit card or debit card situation, so I'm not always scrambling for cash. I'm talking small amounts -- $20 or $30 max, frequently less. Something that I can load/reload when I want to, but that has some sort of controls so teen doesn't go wild. [more inside]
Hong Kong - easy hike, easy access from Kowloon?
A colleague and I are taking some students to Hong Kong over our university's December break, and some of the group is interested in organizing a hike. Our schedule is pretty full and I'm not sure everyone is up for a long, strenuous, or technical hike, so I'm reaching out for recommendations that are (1) friendly for casual hikers, and (2) relatively easy access from the MTR. [more inside]
streaming tv experts - how do I get the sunday game?
Wise metafites - My father is visiting from back east and I'm trying to get the Steelers game (on CBS) on our TV for him. We have a relatively new (2 yrs old) smart TV, but no TV services beyond netflix and prime. Can someone help me figure out how to do this? [more inside]
References to articles about how the US media covers antisemitism?
Asking for a friend, who is looking for scholarly articles about how the US media covers anti-Semitism as a broad issue and/or any individual anti-Semitic incidents. [more inside]
Your Puerto Rico recommendations please!
I'll be in Puerto Rico just after Thanksgiving and have slacked on planning. I'm looking for activity and food recommendations. Can you help? [more inside]
Nasi lemak-themed Thanksgiving potluck dinner. Help.
I am going to a Thanksgiving potluck dinner. I have just been informed that said potluck is nasi lemak-themed. (Nasi lemak = coconut rice.) I have also been asked to bring a vegetable dish. What vegetable dish can I bring that goes well with coconut rice? [more inside]
Family-friendly hotel/resort in Miami
Our family (two parents, one nearly-2-year-old) wants to plan a relaxing week-long Miami vacation in late January or early February. We're looking for recommendations of low-key baby-friendly hotels or resorts to stay at, where we can have a decent trip just hanging near the hotel with our kid. [more inside]
eBay seller can’t use PayPal until next year. Why?
So I committed to buy an item on eBay, went to pay, and it says the seller doesn’t accept PayPal. Additionally, a pop up window says they will be allowed to set it up next year. Two questions:
1.) How do I cancel, as I don’t want set something different up for a $8 item.
2.) Curiosity. What is this about. It seems so odd.
La doctora te verá ahora?
I'm a senior medical student interested in working with underserved populations. In my current city, I've been able to do that almost entirely in English. Where I am likely to move next year for residency training, this will be almost impossible to do without speaking Spanish. How can I best use the next seven months to improve my speaking and comprehension? [more inside]
How do you convert philosophical ideas into fiction?
I've always been very impressed by breakdowns of stories in various media, and how different philosophical views are explored in them by way of characters and plot. How can I integrate such depth of thought into my own fiction writing? [more inside]
Looking for advice on planning two trips to Japan to study Japanese
Lots of snowflake details within, but the long and short is that in 2020 (!) I'd like to go to Japan twice, 1-2 months in the winter, 2-4 months in the summer, with the main goal of improving my spoken Japanese. I'm looking for advice for various aspects of this. [more inside]
DocumentaryFilter: Robots and People
Hi! I'm looking for recent documentaries exploring the interactions between humans and 'new' or 'disruptive' technologies. [more inside]
Detective mysteries like Ian Rutledge and Bess Crawford
Looking for more Detective mysteries like Ian Rutledge and Bess Crawford or Leaphorn and Chee. [more inside]
Need to work out a workplace situation
There is a recurring theme in some of my interactions at work that I am looking for ways to improve. [more inside]
November 17
What exactly was my car's tire pressure monitor doing?
I recently had to add some air to my tires due to cold weather. Afterwards, I had to "reset" the TPMS, and then drive around for a while while a progress bar ticked from 0 to 99 percent. In as much detail as possible, what was my car (and its computer) actually doing during this time? [more inside]
Help for wrist/tendon pain when playing guitar
I play piano, and am trying to learn guitar. When playing even for a few minutes, I have wrist and tendon pain in my left (fretting) hand. What should I do? [more inside]
Facebook Book
I want to shut down my Facebook account, but I have a lot of photos and memories from the past 10+ years in there. Is there a company that would let me download the data and turn it into a journal-like book?
Seeking obscure out-of-print O'Reilly Perl code example
I recall coming across a Perl coding example perhaps 15-25 years ago in one of the O'Reilly Perl books, and 'm hoping a graybeard or book collector can help. [more inside]
Minimum necessary repairs after water damage
We had a leak that flooded the carpet in one bedroom. Landlord sent someone to vacuum up the water after the plumber repaired the leak. Then someone to repair the drywall and paint. The latter person used a moisture meter to check for mold. The carpet has not been replaced and was not pulled up to check underneath it when this happened, but the individual doing that work seemed to be knowledgeable. I have questions. [more inside]
Why won't Google Maps save my map?
I have made a map with four points on it, and I can't find how to save it. I can preview the directions, but when I click out of that, the map has disappeared. I make it all over again, and when I click out, it's gone. This is on an iPhone. [more inside]
Graphic design for the cockeyed
Would you look at my webpage layouts, and tell me what's wrong with my eye -- and how to fix it? That is, why is most of my design work shitty, and how do I get good? [more inside]
what does "home" mean?
I'm looking for things to read on the concept of home -- what makes for feeling that one is at home, how people identify places as their homes, psychology behind it, what meaning people ascribe to it, how people feel at home in transient situations, etc. Non-fiction, books, articles, fiction -- anything!
Bermuda musts
I will be taking a pretty short notice solo trip to Bermuda to celebrate landing (and keeping) my new job. [more inside]
Leaving 30 day silicon hydrogel contacts on overnight
I know you are not my optometrist.
Pretty much my question- is it safe ( the manufacturer says 6nights 7 days is ok) my optometrist office says take them out nightly. I really hate looking for my glasses to go pee at night or reading with them before going to sleep.
Thanks in advance p.
Enough acoustic theory (or is it really like brain surgery?)
I want to understand some acoustic theory to design solutions for outdoor noise (or at least communicate better with acoustic engineers). I know of software for this but want to know just enough of the nuts and bolts. There's lots of info available but I don't want all of it and don't know where to start. [more inside]
Free video editing software for students
Hi Folks, I'm looking for some free video editing software apps for high school students. They will be creating an interview-style news report and will need to stitch together the questions and answers they create. I need something compatible with both Android and IOS. All of the students have smart phones. One may be using a laptop. I saw some previous questions, but they were over 4 years old. Many thanks on behalf of a colleague!
How do I settle down when I have nothing to settle "on"?
How do I know when I'm ready to "settle down"? Can a single person "settle down"? This question is specifically about getting a dog and furniture, and more existentially about a person's reasons for and ability to make long-term plans. [more inside]
Help with Lucida Sans Typewriter errors in OS X High Sierra terminal?
For over a decade I have been using Lucida Sans Typewriter (LST) as the terminal font in Mac OS X and now all other fonts look weird to me. I recently upgraded to High Sierra and when I try to change the terminal font, LST looks entirely messed up. It has additional spaces between each character and the characters don't seem to be LST, but perhaps Monaco? I'm at a loss as to how to get it to work. Any suggestions? [more inside]
Recommendations for science podcasts?
I’m looking for recommendations for science podcasts that are not wildly inappropriate for a 10-year-old. She especially requests paleontology, geology, biology, archaeology, and the 13-year-old wonders about forensic anthropology.
I wasn't framed, but I want to be!
Point me to websites for custom frames for odd-sized artwork. [more inside]
Hobby illustrator/ video editor - worth investing into MAC?
Hi guys, I own a windows PC and got inspired by temporary trying out the Adobe software. I learned how to handle it on a basic level and would like to continue doing so, yet, honestly...600 dollars a year sounds like a lot of money. Since I have a non-related full time job, would you consider it worth it investing into Apple and their equivalents on the long run or paying for the Adobe subscription?
Thank you a lot for being helpful!
Looking for basic men's black business shoes
So I've been buying and wearing Nunn Bush Men's Eddy Oxfords for years because they hit the sweet spot between looking reasonably businessy and comfortable but in recent years they've changed quality and the last two that I've bought have been garbage. What should I replace them with? I just want a simple black pair of oxfords that won't hurt my feet and will last more than six months.
Seeking a recipe for pecan pie that is chewy/not at all jiggly
It seems to me there are two kinds of pecan pie. I like one and not the other, and I'm looking for recipes. [more inside]
ISO warm clothing for many purposes
The difficulty level here is, I seem to have zero circulation in my hands and feet. I need gloves, socks, slippers and PJs that will keep me warm.
Most gloves and socks seem to operate on the assumption that they can use heat trapped from your hands and feet to keep you warm. But since my fingers and toes don't generate heat of their own, ever, none of those gloves and socks will work for me. Help me find some? [more inside]
Please help me plan a productive and relaxing staycation.
I have the opportunity to take some time off from work between 12/14-1/2, which amounts to 19 consecutive days off. This will be the longest “staycation” I think I have ever taken. I live in Southern California, so it’s likely the weather will be fine (probably high 60s during the day). Aside from a couple of day or quick overnight trips, I don’t want to travel. How can I make the most of this time, by being productive, but also allowing myself to feel refreshed and ready to work in January (I’ve been feeling a bit burned out lately). [more inside]
In search of quality, reasonably-priced men's long johns.
I need to get myself a few more sets of long johns, but I'm having trouble finding a quality set that's in my price range. Any recommendations? [more inside]
Indestructible vacuum cleaner needed
Sing to me, o muses of MeFi, tales of a vacuum cleaner than can handle kid debris and multiple family members with long hair - and not crap out. [more inside]
Need N99 face masks for family in CA
I'm traveling to Oakland to see family over Thanksgiving. I want to either bring or ship N99 face masks to distribute because the smoke is so bad. [more inside]
Non-gendered word for "princessy"?
I'm looking for words or phrases that convey the same or similar meaning to "princessy," in the sense of an adult who acts like they are too delicate or special to have to do drudge work and thinks others should do it for them, that is not gendered.
Silver lining: my gut was right.
This is me. My husband is cheating on me. I'm isolated, financially dependent upon him, and have no idea what to do next. [more inside]
TablemannersFilter
Have things changed about when/how/whether to teach children how to hold a fork? [more inside]
November 16
Time travellers posting...
I was chatting with a friend tonight and brought up a story I had seen online. It was a snapshot of a time traveler online community with them discussing online what they were doing and what was going on. [more inside]
Two eccentric ladies in Munich
So my mom and I will be spending next week in Munich. What do we want to do? I've browsed helpful earlier questions, but there are some specifics of our interests below the fold. [more inside]
Best option for getting a book to New Zealand
I planned on shipping an inexpensive, out-of-print book to New Zealand, but a $4 book would cost $40 USD to send from the US to NZ. Is there a better way? [more inside]
Macbook: Weird Electrical Vibration When Charging
I just bought a new Macbook Pro, and have spent the day setting it up. I just started charging it, and have noticed a weird, tingly sensation when I brush my fingers across the top of the lid and on the metal surrounding the keyboard. Sort of like static electricity? [more inside]
What New Apple product to get for Graphic Design?
What current or near future apple product (laptop or iMac) is a good choice to get for someone into graphic design? I'm looking for something near professional level, and definitely something where the screen is a good size and you can see what you're working on. I'd love to hear from anyone, and extra points if you do professional graphic design work (and feel free to link to your work). Thank you.
Biggest Dogs?
Every city I visit seems to have a lot of commercials from a single law firm. Should I assume that the attorneys that can afford to air a lot of commercials get the biggest settlements or take the most cases? Contacting the Bar Association can seem hit or miss since they don't toot any one firm's' horn. If someone brags on themselves with a lot of ads, are they necessarily more successful?
I guess I'll just get a frozen turkey dinner then...
I feel like I'm being abandoned for Thanksgiving and I need help coping. [more inside]
T'was The Night Before Christmas, And On My Bookshelf....
Every year I treat myself to a book about Christmas, as a hat-tip to a tradition one of my aunts had. What are some good lesser-known ones you've seen? (Assume that the Grinch/Polar Express/T'was-The-Night-before-Christmas/Rudolph stories are covered.) [more inside]
Should I take the job or stay where I am? - offer
I'm finding it hard to weigh up the pros and cons of staying where I am now or making a move. Opinions appreciated! [more inside]
How to apologize when you don't believe you're wrong
Silly drama inside [more inside]
The tracks of her tears
Our sweet 9 year old girl Tootie has, in the year-plus we've had her, developed significant tear-staining. It's pretty obvious on white fur. I am absolutely flummoxed about how to stop this. Halp? [more inside]
Tall, Korean(?) Mystery appliance
What is the tall, white thing in the corner of this room?
what if spachcocked but big?
How do you spachcock a big-ass turkey in a regular-ass oven? [more inside]
Seeking effective taglines for a membership campaign
I'm the owner of an old-fashioned, independent movie theater -- much loved, but financially struggling. We're launching a membership campaign, and I'm looking for effective taglines. [more inside]
What's worth getting for around 5000 yen?
My birthday is coming up and my in-laws are asking what I want. I don't really want anything but they have to send something. What would you want to get in the 5000 yen range? [more inside]
Fun dinner destinations in Chicago
I'll be heading with a friend to Chicago on 12/1 for a concert. I'd like to go someplace fun and unique for dinner before the show. I would rather not spend more than about $100 for the two of us. [more inside]
How cheap is too cheap for contact lenses?
Looking at the various online contact lens shops, prices vary widely. I, of course, would like to pay less. If I'm buying my prescribed brand of corrective lenses, and not some halloween cat eye thing, how worried should I be about counterfeit or other dangerous/unapproved products? Can I order from the cheapest place, and if not, how do I determine which vendors are selling legit lenses?
The Superior of Lake Superior
I'm working out a tentative road trip to travel around the perimeter of Lake Superior for hiking and car camping this June. What are your favorite places specifically between Sault Ste Marie and Duluth via 17 and 61? I am also very open to places I can get to by ferry.
Recommend me a swing city to live in!
After graduating from college in 2017 I ended up living in Taipei for a year. It's been great, but now I'm just about ready to return to the US and find somewhere to settle down. I would like to do this in a swing state. More details inside! [more inside]
Cats meds without a prescription?
Is it possible, in the world of online pharmacies, for me to get my cat's Prednisolone without a vet's prescription? [more inside]
Best blood glucose tracker for iPhone (preferably w/no subscription)?
For the past 12 months, I've been entering daily blood glucose numbers into an iPhone app, but I need to find a new one. What are the best options if I have a preference for paid apps vs free-with-ads or subscription-based ones? [more inside]
Share with me the cooking videos of your people
My kitchen is currently under construction and as some sort of demented coping mechanism, I am watching copious amounts of cooking videos on YouTube. Specifically right now Chinese cooking videos. I would like to branch out. [more inside]
Best Catalogs, esp. Museum Shops
I like catalog shopping, especially museum stores with arty gifts and cool jewelry. And the sort of catalogs whose list you get on because you're a PBS donor. I know about Novica, Metropolitan, Art Inst. Chicago, Smithsonian, Wireless, Signals, MuseumStore, others, but maybe you have some cool favorites.
Architect vs Design/Build for home extension/remodel and cottage
We are interviewing firms to design our home extension/remodel and backyard cottage. We have narrowed our short list down to two - a design/build firm and a traditional architect that makes plans to be bid out by contractors. How to decide between the two? [more inside]
lunch this weekend in Coney Island
I'm doing a Turkey Trot in Coney Island this weekend with some friends. The race is on the boardwalk, and last time we did it we had lunch at some diner right there, I think maybe it was Tom's. Where else could we go around there for lunch this time of year? It needs to be walking distance (the race starts right around the Parachute Jump if that helps). We are pretty adventurous eaters, though a couple of us are vegetarians. Some good Russian food maybe? Thanks!
Crash course on managed services/SaaS sales
A few years back, you nice people helped me get quickly up to speed on information security concepts. It worked and I totally got the job. Now I'm ready to move on to another job, but it will require additional research. This time, I need to get a quick overview of managed services/SaaS in the context of sales. What resources can you recommend?
Another "help me sleep" question
I struggle with insomnia, and am seeking advice. [more inside]
Looking for the book/toy equivalent of quirky youtube videos
Looking for Xmas presents for my two kids and hoping to find something they will find cool and will surprise them. [more inside]
Legal advice need for dealing with the funeral/estate of a friend
My partner and I have taken on responsibility for arranging the funeral of a family friend. We have some questions about some of the practical considerations of handling this and about the deceased’s personal possessions. UK advice sought, England & Wales specifically. YANAL, TINLA etc understood – I have been given a very small bit of free advice by a solicitor but am unable to pay for legal advice. N.b. I have used the term probate where I believe that letters of administration might sometimes be the correct legal term, please assume I am referring to one or both. [more inside]
The technicalities of dirty talk in an LDR
I'm in a long-distance relationship and I'm uneasy about mixing my dirty chats, videos, pictures, etc with my "everyday" Google account, where so much of my identifiable life already lives. I'm looking for well-designed Mac and/or Android apps I can use to silo this sort of sensitive data. Should be encryptable and require a separate password (or, ideally, fingerprint authentication) to open the app itself. [more inside]
ISO the very best chocolate-covered cherries
Chocolate-covered cherries have been a winter holiday time tradition in my family, but I've become too much of a chocolate snob to be able to enjoy the ones from the drugstore. What are the very best chocolate-covered cherries I can buy online? Can be cordials (with a syrupy liquid) or not, but must involve whole cherries (not dried).
One couple, two dogs, fun/unusual Thanksgiving near the Oregon coast?
Partner and I just decided we'd like to spend Thanksgiving at the Oregon coast. We have two midsize dogs. Where should we stay? Airbnb pickins are reasonable but I'm curious about other/interesting options. Some details and bonus wishes under the cut. [more inside]
November 15
Save my Overcooked Tenderloin!
So I dry-rubbed and seasoned two pork tenderloins (about 1 lb each), and roasted them for dinner. My intention was to eat one tonight and save the other for tomorrow. Unfortunately I overcooked them a bit. They came out around 160 degrees, which isn't horrible, but not ideal. What can I do with the 2nd tenderloin for dinner tomorrow? Hope me! [more inside]
Help navigating work issues when planning to go on short term disability
I'm planning to take short term disability leave at work to help manage some mental illness and need help with how to inform my boss and understanding how it will impact a possible future job offer. [more inside]
Best books about obsessing over a goal to succeed?
I read "Be Obsessed or Be Average" by Grant Cardone a few months ago...and re-read it and re-read. I'm eager to dig into the subject.
Does anyone have any other books (preferred), articles, or any other materials they would recommend that delve into the idea of obsessing about a goal to accomplish it? [more inside]
Is it safe to put the front of a treadmill up on weight plates?
Recently the incline mechanism on our 13-year-old Pacemaster ProElite treadmill broke, so we put the front on 25lb. weights. It is now at a 5% grade. Is that safe? [more inside]
National Parks! Where? How?
I have a 4th grader so we can go to US National Parks for free this year. Where to go? [more inside]
What sort of tradesperson do I call about a cracked ceiling?
This crack has turned up in our ceiling. I don't think it's water damage. I think it's probably a combination of the ceiling originally being installed by dodgy DIYers who didn't know what they were doing (judging from the rest of the house), and extreme heat maybe causing warping. It is upstairs, a room that gets full sun in summer, and it easily gets past 40 C most days in there.
What tradesperson do I need who will not only fix the problem, but maybe advise on whether there's a bigger underlying issue and what to do about it? This is in Australia. [more inside]
Why does my male coworker act hot and cold towards me?
Things are awkward between me and my coworker- and I don't know what to do.
A few special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
$5 or less quirky tokens of affections
I recently sent an age ham to my sister-in-law to wish her good luck as she starts college. What other unique, quirky little things can I send friends and family to let them know I'm thinking of them, for $5 or under? [more inside]
What are the chances of a second referendum on Brexit?
Formally or informally, is there any handicapping or odds-making going on about the likelihood of a second referendum? By formally I mean are Ladbrokes, William Hill etc doing any “Brexit bookmaking” and taking bets? (FWIW, I’m not interested in betting per se, rather the degree to which betting odds may reflect national sentiment). And by informally, is any consensus emerging from tabloids, broadsheets, the BBC, conversations around the watercooler or down at the pub?
How do I get saucier?
I need new vegan sauce ideas and recipes to go with the relatively blank canvas of veggies, proteins, and grains. Help me make dinner easy and delicious. [more inside]
oldest acceptable iPad (for some music applications)
I'm a Windoze and Android user and would like to pick up an older iPad for a few apps that are only available in iOS and mostly to explore iOS apps. Mostly this is for Garageband with use of a MIDI controller, and my needs are very minimal- i'm just playing around to learn a bit about DAWs on tablets rather than really making serious music.
What's the oldest sorta-acceptable iPad generation you'd recommend in my case? [more inside]
How do you decide between 2 job offers?
I've just been offered 2 job promotions at my current place of work and i've also been given the opportunity to go for another one. I don't know how to make the right decision. [more inside]
What certificates could my cat get?
I would like to procure certificates for my cat, to show his qualifications, skills and interests in many areas. What can you suggest? Upper limit is probably about £15-£20. [more inside]
Sleep, Benadryl, Alzheimers, And A Lack of Sleep At Night
From 2010 to 2016, I took one Benadry a night to help me sleep.
Then I got freaked out by the report that stated that Benadryl, and other drugs, might contribute to a greater chance of Alzheimers.
I stopped taking Benadryl.
And now I can't sleep.
Let's discuss a few things, shall we? [more inside]
UX research that doesn't involve screens
I'm a UX researcher and I love what I do. However, I don't particularly enjoy building software experiences, especially for capitalist purposes. What sorts of careers or roles might I like that put my skills to good use for a worthy cause, and don't primarily involve designing for screens? [more inside]
Public radio pledge drive challenge fails
For the "need 50 callers by the end of the hour to unlock this $5,000 dollar challenge" type of fundraisers, what happens to the gift if not enough callers call in by the deadline? Does the donor typically keep the money and donate it to another cause? Donate it to the radio station anyways?
Two Furminators for two cat hair lengths?
I have two little shed-monsters, a medium-haired and a short-haired cat. Should I get two Furminators for the two hair lengths, or will one work for both? If one, which one? I can easily afford to get two if that's the best option. Thank you!
Will a new furnace be quiter then a 30 year old furnace?
Will a new furnace be quiter then a 30 year old furnace? [more inside]
Alternatives to Instagram
I am ditching my Facebook this weekend, and because of Associated Evil(c) with Instagram, am looking to ditch that too. However, I love Instagram! I like seeing my friends and family posting photos, and I enjoy sharing my own, and while I use real cameras often, posting a quick photo on the street from my phone is fun. I want to keep doing that. [more inside]
What to use to care for my skin?
Seeking recommendations on products that will help take care of my skin, especially on my face and collarbone area. [more inside]
Presents For Sewers (People Who Sew)
My wife has recently gotten back into sewing her own clothes in a big way, making shirts, sweatshirts, skirts and the like. They're pretty amazing. She's got a very nice Bernina machine, and I expect her scissors and other basic accessories are good. I'd like to get her something(s) that will help her keep at it and get even better, make some interesting things, and so on. [more inside]
Tech Types, tell me about work for a "managed service," company?
I've been interviewed and am moving through the hiring process for a "managed service," IT company. They seem to have fingers in a lot of pies, cloud computing, eCommerce, QA, which is my department, etc. Can anybody with more experience tell me what it's like working for an org like this? [more inside]
This sure ain't helping with the moving stress
I booked third-party movers through the U-Haul website to load/unload my moving truck this coming Saturday. They were supposed to call to confirm/provide more details within 24 hours: they haven't. I haven't been able to get in touch with them at all since I booked. Is it panic time? Looking for advice on next steps and much needed perspective, because it's starting to feel like panic time. [more inside]
Is the Oscar Center medical office in Brooklyn a viable business?
I'm considering switching to Oscar Center for primary care, but I'm worried that they're an unviable experiment (like their predecessor, Freelancers Medical, which I really liked until they cancelled) and will be shut down soon. Is there any way to tell how dedicated Oscar Insurance is to keeping them going?
Email client with very customizable inbox view?
I just switched from Gmail's webapp to Spark as a desktop email client but it appears to be impossible to customize the smart inbox view as much as I want to. Are there other alternatives that do this better on a Mac? [more inside]
Looking for a snowflakey Android camera app
I recently made the switch from iOS to Android, and I've been generally happy with it so far, but there is one important bit of my workflow that I can't seem to replicate. On iOS I used Bento Cam to take photos of a weekly work event that would 1) not get intermingled with all the other photos in my Camera Roll and 2) magically sync with a designated Dropbox folder. Bento Cam is not available on Android (and no longer in development), and I can't seem to find a suitable replacement. Any ideas? [more inside]
Looking to confess my sins, cry a little, and then feel better.
I really want to make confession but don't have a regular church anymore. Where can I drop in and not feel uncomfortable? In NYC. [more inside]
How do you deal with assholes when you can't kick them out?
Say you work in an organization that provides a vital service and for that or some other reason really can't outright ban problem clients/customers/patients. What does your organization do when people are wildly abusive and inappropriate towards staff or each other? [more inside]
November 14
Exposing mafeasence through the media
What is the overall success of people who have gone to "On Your Side" or consumer "Troubleshooter" type investigative news units within TV stations? Do those with situations the station considers legitimate enough to broadcast get resolution? [more inside]
TV Recommendations for the Easily Distracted
Looking for TV show recommendations that are either really engaging right off the bat or really short (think either mini-serial or only has 1-2 seasons released to date). Something I can binge watch.
I like drama, period drama, true-crime series, thrillers, Nordic noir, and also comedy and comedy-drama. But I do not have the time or inclination or attention span to watch something that requires a lot of time or attention investment, so nothing where I have to catch up on more than 3 seasons (i.e. Orange is the New Black, Wentworth) or that requires a lot of time to build up the story arc or jokes (i.e. Arrested Development). So really, I'm looking for something I can binge watch in a weekend, like a mini-series or a one to two season drama. [more inside]
I want to read novels again
I used to love reading, and pre-family, read over a hundred books a year. In the past three years I’ve read mostly non-fiction, much of it regarding pregnancy, babies etc. I want to read novels again and don’t know where to start. [more inside]
It's NOT Aliens
On a recent flight from Phoenix to Detroit, I saw an unusual phenomenon on the ground. Can the sleuths of Metafilter tell me what it was? [more inside]
The Softest, Coziest, Mid-Weight Hoodie in the Known World
I'm on the hunt for a mid-weight hoodie or sweatshirt that will make me feel like I am wrapped in warm, fuzzy clouds made of fluffy kittens this winter. Fussy requirements below the cut! [more inside]
Help me with the logistics of an interstate move
It looks like my husband and I are going to be moving from Albuquerque, New Mexico to San Francisco in a little less than a couple months. Neither of us have ever really moved. (Our only move was from a small apartment shortly after college to the house we own now, and that was ten years ago.) How does moving work? [more inside]
Coping with performance review issues
My boss wanted to give me the maximum. Upper management basically wouldn't allow it, so the compromise is "satisfactory." I'm a high performer and I'm taking this harder than I should. [more inside]
Chimpanzee shock experiment photo montage
I'm looking for an image that was burned into my memory, but I can't find it. I think it may have been a Life magazine cover, or photo accompanying an article about the experiment. This was likely decades ago, maybe as far back as the 60s. There is a chimpanzee (I think not a monkey) looking directly into the camera. [more inside]
Am I jumping the gun/quit happy?
New job, day 2, strange (?) team/boss behavior that made me feel uncomfortable. [more inside]
How do I disassemble this builders level transit?
I have an old David White level transit labeled as a Meridian LT6-900 (although the manual that comes with it says it is a Meridian 8830, which is what the level looks like). The focus knob suddenly will not turn. [more inside]
Help Me Make MOAR Pudding
Hi - My son loves this recipe for hot fudge pudding cake. However, he (and I) would like just a little more pudding. What should I tweak to achieve that? More of the brown sugar/water ratios? More butter? (although the butter just goes in the batter and not the pour over ingredients) Thanks in advance for your help!!
Moving from the US to Argentina
I will be moving from the mid-Atlantic US to Buenos Aires in June/July 2019. I'd love to hear your advice, both general and specific! [more inside]
GiftFilter: Office Secret Santa Edition
Certainly not a new question on the Green, but perhaps one worth revisiting for 2018—my office just drew our Secret Santas, and I got the SVP who has, and has done, everything their heart desires. We have an unenforced $25 cap, and a rule that all gifts should be used up by the end of the next year (i.e., no 'stuff'.) I'm interested in your ideas for this Secret Santa, as well as all similar gift exchanges.
Ways to treat myself for better sleep and earlier mornings
I have developed a taste for getting up early, but I need a nudge or two to stick with it. How can I make sleeping early and waking up early more luxurious? [more inside]
Help me throw money at the problem of unmotivated mornings
I don't strictly need a shower first thing in the morning since I work from home, but I want to so I'm not feeling gross and desperate for one at 3pm. Solution: I love having new products and everyday luxuries to look forward to. Help suggest more products that I can buy this winter to give me a little consumerist thrill to propel me into taking a shower when I wake up. [more inside]
What's the cheapest way to ship an empty suitcase from Sweden?
I bought a brand new suitcase for 600 bucks. Aluminum. Because I had important stuff in it that I didn't want crushed. On the inaugural flight to Sweden the airline lost it for a week. Good news? My stuff is fine. Bad? They crunched the wheel and handle. So I need to send it back from Sweden to Davis CA for repair. (nope, nowhere closer) So if I don't care how long it takes, what's the cheapest way to do it?
Early to bed, Early to rise ...
How do I become more productive in the mornings? [more inside]
Cast Iron Christmas
My other brother wants a cast iron cook book. The best cast iron cookbook. Emphasis on versatility, technique, and convenience. I'm picturing a cookbook that tells you how to sear a perfect steak rather than something that has one recipe for steak au poivre in mushroom cream sauce that takes 10 specialized ingredients and takes 3 hours to complete.
Great pictures is a bonus.
Are you receiving an extraordinary volume of catalogs?
Are you receiving an extraordinary volume of catalogs in the run-up to the holiday season? We seem to be. [more inside]
Travel friendly beard trimmer
Can anyone recommend a portable and reliable beard trimmer? [more inside]
Examples of a phone call response time policy
Can any of you provide examples of a policy for standard response time to telephone calls? [more inside]
Eclair flavor combos - Thanksgiving edition
Since the green gave me some fantastic flavor combinations in a similar previous question, I am now requesting suggestions on flavors for eclairs to serve at Thanksgiving. [more inside]
Does Contoura Lasik remove more corneal tissue than regular Lasik?
I’m interested in Contoura Topography Guided Lasik. I went for a consult and was told my eyes are better off with regular Lasik because of the thickness of my corneas, that Contoura removes more tissue than regular Lasik, & they only use Contoura for iris registration. The tech insinuated they're not too experienced w/Contoura and have had mixed results. Does Contoura Topography Guided Lasik really remove more corneal tissue than regular Lasik or was that perhaps an excuse? I am not able to find anywhere online that says that. [more inside]
In this case I DON'T actually want chicken pudding
My cat is old and sick and she really likes eating chicken paté blended up until smooth. Only thing is this comes out of the fridge like pudding and she doesn't like that as much. Do you think there's anyway of making and storing this in advance that will keep it liquid, or is it just what it is? [more inside]
How to create a (murder?) mystery diorama
I want to create a diorama that portrays a mystery scene that can be solved with some intro information given and by examining the evidence provided in the diorama. [more inside]
Is it possible to retain my 32-bit iOS apps?
I have an iPad that I’ve resisted updating (iOS 10) because I don’t want to lose some 32-bit apps that no longer exist in the App Store. I also have an iPhone that is fully updated (iOS 12). After updating the phone, I have found that the two have iCloud communication issues (on the tablet I get “locked” out of certain documents, can’t see tabs open on the phone, etc.). What can I do to resolve this situation? [more inside]
The perfect way to work from the couch
Dr. Advicepig, like most physicians, brings a lot of work home with her and I'd love to create an awesome setup for working from the couch with a second display. Typically, she is seated with her feet on the couch and back against the arm of the couch with one to three cats on her legs and a laptop computer perched on the back of the couch. (cat tax, actually my legs). What can I do to make a super awesome setup as a gift?
capture app's network traffic in Android?
I want to see, in detail, the http requests an Android app makes and, ideally, the responses. [more inside]
What makeup product am I looking for?
Acne-prone makeup-wearing people of Metafilter: What product can I buy that 1) won't break me out, 2) is extremely sheer and will help even out dry middle-aged skin without making it look even more haggard and unevenly textured like basically everything I've ever tried, and 3) is available at Ulta, Wal-Mart, Rite Aid, or Walgreens?
gift of NYC experience for foreign fan of city or ... a cool NYC poster
I have a friend in Germany who is a big fan of New York City, and who has been there many times. I'd like to get her an "experience" present that she can use next time she's there. See inside for the main complication, and the fallback idea ... [more inside]
Sins of Our Fathers
I'm having trouble with my feelings towards my parents and am wondering how to proceed. My relationship with them is very strained. [more inside]
Small, light Christmas presents for children
Normally, I mail my grandkids their Christmas presents before I fly in, but this year, we're all meeting in a city where none of us live. Consequently, I'm looking for small, light Christmas presents I can stick in my suitcase. Snowflakes below the fold. [more inside]
USPS Package Returned to Sender, Seller not Responding
I ordered an item from an online store that I've bought from before. I entered my shipping address as my box at a local UPS store, where I get all of my packages delivered, and I entered the address correctly. The online store mailed the package through USPS with tracking. On October 22nd it was marked as "Delivered to Agent" and then on October 24th it was changed to"Return to Sender Processed" and still has that status. I have contacted the store I bought this from twice via email but haven't gotten any response. I'm not really sure what my next steps should be. [more inside]
kaiten-zushi
Is there an open, decent conveyor belt sushi restaurant in NYC? [more inside]
Do I have a right to complain about unannounced water quality testing?
For the past three years, a man in navy blue service clothes has set off my security cameras every few months in order to conduct (what I assume is) water quality testing at my house. My home has been broken into before, so these unannounced (but probably perfectly legitimate) visits ramp up my anxiety and distract me while I'm at work. I'd like to require the water company to pre-warn me about these visits for my own sanity. Is this asking too much? [more inside]
Love in the Age of a Thesis Submission
How can I prevent a new relationship from being stillborn when grad school gets in the way? [more inside]
help me fix myself
I feel there are some areas of my life where my learned modes of behaviour, ways of thought etc are holding me back from achieving what I would like. What's the best way to go about seeking help for this sort of thing? Self-help books? Therapy (and if so, what sort)? Life coaching? More details below the fold. [more inside]
A photo printer that actually works—does this magical unicorn exist?
Please recommend me a photo printer that isn't a frustrating hunk of ink-sucking plastic garbage. [more inside]
Applying for disability while "working"
I am currently applying for disability due to intractable, years-long depression which has more or less cost me my previous two jobs. I am currently employed for one hour per week, most likely due to perceived incompetence; makes sense to me, since I am seemingly unable to keep myself together for more than a few months at a time before falling apart and descending into a spiral of self-loathing. I do not want to quit the job since at least it is padding my resume while I adjust my meds and try to figure things out. How do I navigate the questions related to my job on the disability application? [more inside]
What to bring to my daughter's school's Thanksgiving potluck?
What dish should I bring to my daughter's school's Thanksgiving potluck for the teachers? [more inside]
I wish to articulate my availability as a chronically disabled person.
I wish to articulate my apparent random availability as a chronically disabled person in a professional way. [more inside]
Looking for a medieval legend about Jesus!
There is presumably a "medieval European legend of how Christ was chased by his enemies. In that story, Jesus blessed the animals who helped him and cursed those who hindered him as he fled from his persecutors." I think that, from his helping and cursing, those animals came to have some of their defining characteristics. Does anyone know of this legend???
November 13
Seeing more of Facebook
I do not have a Facebook account and I'm not going to get one. Is there a way to get rid of the giant block of screen space at the bottom of other people's public Facebook pages that takes up a third of the height, the block that says "See more of (person) on Facebook" and two buttons saying "login" or "create new account"? Really makes the pages obnoxious especially when they are for businesses. Ghostery and it's adblock, and Adblock plus, don't block it.
Studying creative writing in a non English-speaking country
It sounds stupid and counter-intuitive but I'm wondering—for a friend—whether there might just be high-quality courses in writing (in English!) in non-English speaking countries in South America or Europe (France or Spain for example).
Vitamin D dose for SAD?
Seems like this should be easy to google up but it isn't. What's the recommended dose of...I think it's D3? Is it D3? for seasonal affective disorder? [more inside]
How can I chill and accept the slight grossness of my human loved ones?
Ever since I was kid, I've been very easily irritated by the physical habits of other people I'm close to and whom I actually love very much - my mom eating with her mouth open, my dad making a mess in the bathroom, my partner not washing his hands before he prepares a meal, my brother sneezing into his hand, my best friend clearing her throat because she has a cold. [more inside]
Beach vacation advice
Beach vacation in January wanted. I want to go to the beach in early January with my family- two adults, three kids (6, 4, 1 year old). I have a particular vision and I need advice on where to find it and whether my idea is actually going to be relaxing. [more inside]
odd ball
Please Show me any weird tennis paraphernalia you know of on the internet, like this.
USB-C — the C is for confounding
I use a 2018 MacBook Pro and a two-year-old Android phone, both of which have USB-C ports. I’d like to buy a rather short (about 1ft / 30cm) cable that will allow the phone to charge rapidly when connected to the MacBook and also to transfer files and tether (the HoRNDIS driver installed on the MacBook allows tethering to Android). I’ve tried a few different USB-C cables to connect the two and have gotten different results, none of which is exactly what I’m looking for. [more inside]
What to do about this friendship?
I have a friend i don't really feel comfortable spending time with much anymore. Is this worth trying to "fix" or should I just let the friendship go? [more inside]
GDPR-free (no ads, no cookies) web host?
I want to pay and get a simple web host that doesn't run ads so doesn't need to track visitors. [more inside]
How to Survey Some Customers?
My partner asked me if I had any ideas about best practices/resources in direct consumer research (surveys) and I was all ... create a questionnaire on SurveyMonkey? Surely there must better and more robust solutions for pros with a (limited) budget? Where do marketing people go when they want to survey their customers? [more inside]
Anyone hear this song?
This is a long shot, but on CBC Radio One's C'est Formidable! show last Saturday night, there was a great song by a band from Cote d'Ivoire (90% sure it was Magic System). I missed hearing the title. Anyone else here happen to hear it? Alternately, is there a way to hear archived broadcasts? I saw nothing promising on the CBC site. [more inside]
Change management articles/resources/tips for non-profits
I'm chair of the board of a non-profit that is going through a lot of change. We need a strategy that will address the needs of both staff and volunteers, but most of the resources I can find seem to be very corporate focussed. We're probably going to end up hiring a consultant to guide us through the process, but in the meantime, please point me towards any articles/websites etc that you have found useful. Tips/things to watch out for based on personal experience also most welcome.
Plumbing Question
My daughter just put a bath crayon down the bath drain. What should I do? [more inside]
Business umbrella support in Portland, Oregon?
I have a friend who is an outstanding house cleaner. She works for an agency who pay her pitifully but she knows she can do better because her clients tell her what they are paying the agency to have her clean their homes. Her problem is she can’t manage a business on her own. I am looking for a service who can manage the invoicing, billing, and business support for a sole practitioner in Oregon. Not software! Any leads? Thanks in advance.
Please devise a punchline to this joke.
Why did the three legged goth go for a swim? [more inside]
Should I lie about my appointment and the results - temporarily
I am back 5 years later with another relationship question.
I had an OB/GYN appointment today where they found what may be ovarian cancer. The doc can't be sure whether this is accurate or not without running a blood test (results should be available tomorrow). I am waffling back and forth about whether to tell my husband about what news I got. I don't want to create a cancer scare when it may turn out that I just need to have surgery to remove an ovary. (I get that this isn't like getting stitches either [more inside]
Which episode of Homeland is this?
Some scenes from the television show Homeland were filmed where I work. I have never seen the show, but would like to see this particular episode, so I need your help. [more inside]
Minneapolis-St. Paul in the Winter
It looks like I am going to be visiting family in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area sometime in the next few months, and I want to make sure my hosts don't have to figure out all entertainment/experiences on their own.
What should I do/see in the Twin Cities in winter? I'll check out some guide books, but I'd love some personal recommendations. And if there's something I should definitely skip, I'd like to hear about that as well. [more inside]
Help me disarm through humor
Have a work situation where the customer is ANGRY; what is your best humorous and or kind ways to de-escalate? Working with a tough crowd here: community college freshman [more inside]
Sorry Not Sorry
I am running my team meeting next week, and I need to come up with a group/team-building exercise related to Brene Brown's BRAVING concept. Recently, my all-female team has been discussing how women tend to apologize too much, so I'd love to come up with an activity related to exploring and changing that dynamic. Any ideas? [more inside]
How can a nonprofit set up recurring donations on PayPal?
I give money to a tiny local charity. They used to be able to set up recurring donations on PayPal, but somehow have forgotten how to do so, and now I have to give manually each month, which causes logistical problems for me. I know that recurring PayPal donations are still technically possible because I see new initiatives from other nonprofits that have them. Do you know how I can make this happen for my tiny local charity?
how can I improve my shipping skill set
I've taken on the shipping master role within my company. What resources can I find to get better at this? [more inside]
Best way to get fresh air?
I'm in the Bay Area, where the smoke from wildfires may continue to make the air outside unhealthy for an indefinite amount of time. I live in a tiny studio apartment that was recently built (a freestanding cottage) and is extremely airtight, which is good for keeping smoke out, but I'm wondering about fresh air. [more inside]
paper cuts, paper hearts
I'd like to get a stack of 50 thin, "cahier" style notebooks cut to size. I've seen this done with a hydraulic machine, but I have no idea where to look for such a service in brooklyn/ nyc! [more inside]
Japanese Detective Show shown in the 90's?
I used to watch a live-action Japanese detective show subtitled in English, and I've been unable to find out what it was. [more inside]
Strength exercises for someone out of shape to compliment Couch to 5k
I am trying to improve my body and my relationship with it by running three times a week, and I'd also like to be strong. What is a good strength routine/workout I can do at home to compliment running that won't make me feel so badly about myself that I stop doing it? I'd be especially interested in weightlifting but I don't want to join a gym so that might be out. [more inside]
Young video artist who films friends?
A couple of years ago I saw a video that a young artist had made. It was of his (I think the artist was a he) friends partying in a park or the bush, at night, and then hiding and running from the police when they came. I’m pretty sure the artist was from the USA, possibly Texas, and was very young (late teens or early 20s). I think I saw the video at the National Gallery in Ottawa, but it is possible I’m mistaken on that. I remember reading that the artist is mostly known for videos of his friends. Does anyone have any idea who this could be?
Tell me about Kindles (or other non-Nook E-Ink e-readers)
I am interested in obtaining an E-Ink e-reader. I currently do my e-reading on an iPad Mini, upon which I have the Kindle app and Books. People tell me that e-Ink is the way to go, but it's hard to find the information I want. Everything is all "do this online! use the cloud!", but I don't want to. I want to read books offline. I want to transfer books onto the device offline. [more inside]
Long term benefits of weight loss and less booze
I think stats like this are compelling: "3 years after the last cigarette: The risk of heart attack and stroke approaches that of someone who has never smoked." (Link). But I can't find similar statements for things like weight loss or reducing alcohol intake. Are those kind of stats out there? [more inside]
My dog has separation anxiety with a twist
My mixed-breed Laika has gotten over her separation anxiety and now I can leave her alone at the house. However, sometimes a dog nanny or a friend comes while I'm at work to take her out if I'm staying longer. She does not tolerate this and barks and howls from the moment the dog nanny leaves until I'm back. How to cope? [more inside]
Track played yesterday on npr- now desperately seeking...
I must have badly mangled the information I thought I heard on NY npr yesterday when someone - I had the impression it was a regular music host - was raving about this debut artist and his brilliant track. It was played once & it was magnificent - a solo male singer, the song was about begging a child not to grow up too fast? Does this ring any bells?
Best freight-shipping service from Netherlands to USA?
I’m considering ordering a cargo bike from a vendor in Amsterdam and having it shipped to the US, but I’m at a loss for which company to contract for the shipping.
Anyone have any experience with a shipping service they like? [more inside]
Get me excited about New Zealand's North Island
I will be going to New Zealand in January and will be visiting Auckland, Whangarei, Bay of Islands and the area around Rotorua. Recommend me things to see/do? [more inside]
November 12
Forest Fire Smoke Protection
Where are good sources to learn about smoke, that aren't just ads for masks?
Do you have any opinions to share about types of masks, or indoor air filters?
How similar is smog (say, in Beijing) and smoke from a forest fire? [more inside]
Best cheap earbud+microphone for iPhone?
I lost my iPhone earbuds (older phone, with a headset jack). Hoping for an Amazon replacement under $25. I mostly use it for talking on the phone while walking.
I need a good microphone that doesn't make scratchy noises, and simple design that I can scrunch into my pocket. I don't need great music quality, or fancy bluetooth type features.
What should I buy?
Thanks!
Potty training: alternatives to "Oh Crap"?
The only book on potty training I'm familiar with is Jamie Glowacki's "Oh Crap! Potty Training". Are there other books/resources I should read? [more inside]
Women: Should I keep watching BoJack Horseman?
Female fans of the show: I'm in the middle of season one, and it touched a raw nerve. Suddenly it's not funny anymore. Will it get better? [more inside]
How to deal with complaints from co-workers?
I started a new job over six months ago and I really like it! So much in fact that I actually somewhat look forward to going to it, as much as one can look forward to going to work in the morning. I've been doing really well, receiving good feedback and feeling confident in my abilities, until I received a negative email from management outlining complaints from others and it has been causing me distress and I don't know how to deal with it. [more inside]
How should I begin selling my underwear in NYC?
I am a gay man in NYC, and I would like to begin selling my used underwear to other men to make some extra money. What are the best places/ways to do this? [more inside]
I need to get to Word documents on personal laptop; work copy is expired
This is probably ragingly simple, but I lost Microsoft/Office 365 when my job was eliminated. [more inside]
Looking for ways to display charitable gift donations
My husband and I are done with buying physical holiday gifts for our large families, and are actively opting out of it, their judgment be damned. We would like to make donations in their names to some awesome charities, but this will probably go over better if we can somehow format this into a letter or gift packet, or something else they can touch. Please suggest charities that already do this, or ways I can do this myself without too much emotional/physical labor! [more inside]
Summer camp venue rentals: please hope me
The venue we've been doing summer camp at forever is suddenly closing so we need a new venue. Outside of American Camp Association and The Camp Channel, where should we be looking? Details inside. [more inside]
healing words, absolving words, which words, and does it matter
My father responded to my request to end our communication with a pithy, sweet response. I don't think he's going to do the difficult work of an apology ever, despite his benign acknowledgment. How do I deal with this? [more inside]
Anyone tried a Candle of the Month subscription?
I'm thinking of giving a loved one a Candle of the Month subscription as a birthday gift. Have any of you tried one of these candle subscriptions? Were/Are they good? [more inside]
Help Me Plan an Ecuador Rainforest Trip for 2-4 days this December!
My husband and I are heading to Ecuador for the holidays this year, and want to explore the Amazon rainforest in an adventurous/physical activity-centric manner. We want to do it for 2-4 days, without much luxury and without 'extras' like "learn to use a blowgun" type of activities. Can you help? [more inside]
Good novel to push the boundaries for an orthodox Bat Mitzvah girl?
I'm looking for a good book gift for an orthodox Bat Mizvah girl that will open up her world a little bit without incurring the wrath of her parents. [more inside]
Cat-safe moth treatment that isn't moth-safe as well
I have some nice woolen jumpers, and some needle felted dolls I made. The jumpers keep getting infested with moths, and now I've seen suspicious signs on the dolls. Cedar blocks have done absolutely nothing to help this. I also have a cat whom I love to absolute bits. His name is Levinas and if anything happened to him I'd never get over it. Almost all things that actually kill moths seem to be highly toxic to cats. What can I do? [more inside]
Recommendations for curly hair stylist
I'm looking for a curly hair stylist near the Seaport district (Fort Point) in Boston or in Newburyport, MA. I used to go to Judy Jetson in Cambridge, but I moved and it's a pain to get to Cambridge these days.
My hair's between a 2b and 2c.
Tucson at Christmas with the family dog
My wife, two teen daughters and our dog are escaping Seattle this Christmas to (hopefully) enjoy some sunshine and short sleeve weather. We enjoy walking neighborhoods and hiking and hope to spend lots of time outside. I know the National Parks restrict dogs on trails- where can we go where Fido won’t be a problem? [more inside]
14 hour layover in Frankfurt on Dec. 23: realistic day trip ideas?
What are some ideas for day trips near Frankfurt I could take? Will things be open on Dec. 23? It is also a Sunday. More details below. [more inside]
Late notice Buenos Aires tours?
I'm taking all of December off, and one of the things I'd like to do is travel a bit. After some deliberation I think I'm interested in a trip to Buenos Aires. I'm looking for any specific recommendations for reputable and enjoyable tour groups/companies. I'm 40, non-spanish speaking, and would be travelling alone.
En-Chino Man
Good news! After a year of daily exercise I've lost 30 pounds. Bad news! None of my clothes fit anymore. Worse news: I don't know what size I even am, because of the scourge of vanity sizing. Help? I need new chinos, and I am a unique snowflake, just like everyone else. [more inside]
Can you estimate the replacement cost of my house?
I know I can pay someone to do an assessment. What I'm wondering is, can anyone on here look at the details of my house and give me a reliable ballpark figure for a total rebuild? [more inside]
I just don't know how to socialise! And my life sucks because of it!
Help! I just do not know or understand how to socialise to an acceptable level. I need tips and advice on to how to begin to get better at doing this. [more inside]
Was it low-key transphobia or nah?
I need some help checking in on something that just happened at the gym in the locker room. [more inside]
Memorable experiences in the Twin Cities
I would love to get some suggestions for memorable experiences I could arrange for my wife for a couple of hundred bucks in or near Minneapolis this winter. [more inside]
looking for 1980's sci-fi short story about deadly air pollution
I'm reading (pirated? on Youtube anyway) audiobooks in Russian, and came upon an American story (translated into Russian) which I can't seem to find with a Google search. I'd like to find it in English. Author is William Powers and they title the story something like "Nothing To Breathe". [more inside]
HVAC MeFites, please hope me
Can I adjust how often my heat pump goes into defrost mode? [more inside]
List-maker, list-maker, make me a list
I'm looking for a way to maintain an online holiday wish list for my kid to share with family. We used to use Amazon, but the only way to add products from non-Amazon websites is to install the invasive Amazon Assistant plugin which I don't want to do, so I'm looking for other options. [more inside]
[RecipeFilter] Like muffins, but not as crumbly
I'm looking for breakfast food/snack that is flour-based, with apples (I have a lot of apples to use up), easy to prepare in advance (the night before) that would be less crumbly than muffins. More like pancakes or bread in texture. [more inside]
Is/can a cinnamon roll also/also be a donut?
Three friends have been arguing this out, to no firm conclusion. The strongest argument against is that a cinnamon roll is (usually) baked and a donut is (usually) fried. But there are exceptions, as well as crossover versions [1][2][3]. To complicate, cinnamon rolls can be made from donut dough. Can they be the same, or not (either logically, or using empirical evidence)? Assume donut (US) = doughnut (UK).
Pinpoint accurate touchscreen friendly winter gloves
Can anyone recommend pinpoint accurate, touchscreen friendly winter gloves? The current pair I have from Northface are too “bulky” and can end up registering my finger/touch anywhere within the half inch of surface area under my finger tip (makes typing impossible). Also, looking for something that will keep my hands warm in the cold air but not make them sweat. Any recommendations that have worked well for you?
When to talk to teens about divorce when moving apart may take months?
When to tell our teenage kids about an impending divorce? As soon as possible, even though the practical arrangements for moving apart might still take several months? Or should we wait until we have a concrete plan and a clear timeline? [more inside]
November 11
what travel tv show , shown in Seattle, went to Amritsar
A few months ago in Seattle I saw a travel television show ( probably on KCTS). I'd like to watch it again but my google skills are not good enough for me to identify it. The host was a man, perhaps in his mid 30's. Part of the show involved a train journey to Amritsar, India. In Amritsar, he visited the Golden Temple among other sites.
Can anyone tell me what show this was? Thanks.
Mixed signals - is he just shy or just not into me - how to proceed?
Been seeing a new boy who has treated me like a queen but is suddenly withdrawing? Is he shy or avoiding me? How do I proceed with this? [more inside]
Why is my dog sore?
My wife and I have a dog, a 90 lb Labrador named Miles. He is a good boy. Sometimes he gets sore, and I want to understand why, and how I can help. [more inside]
Can I eat it? plate of beans edition
What is there to know about beans, chickpeas, lentils, etc., sprouting, and food safety? Ever since I read about how pinto beans contain a toxin that only breaks down if you cook them at high enough temps, I've been wondering if there's more I'm missing and kinda paranoid about beans. In particular, can I eat these chickpeas that sprouted while soaking them, even if I'm pregnant? [more inside]
Help Finding Artist / Graphic Designer to Commission Kellar-Style Print
I am hoping to commission a poster in the style of Kellar the Magician posters (like these!) for my ex-magician non-ex-boyfriend. (Feel free to leave your magician jokes in the comments). The problem is that I don't know any artists, and my Googling is failing me! Do you know anyone who would be able to handle this? [more inside]
Fair Housing Act & Re-Zoning
Can the FHA be used to stop a re-zoning effort? As I read it, It has two main goals: "Ending housing discrimination", and "Promoting diverse, inclusive communities" Can these ends, or any others in the Act, leverage against efforts to rezone a poor neighborhood?
Green Lanterns (but not THAT green lantern)
This weekend I watched Frozen and Tangled with my two kids. Mrs Naib explained to me the fan theory that Elsa and Rapunzel are cousins, which I can accept, but the thing that struck me as really joining the two movies are these green lanterns everyone has. [more inside]
Is this level of expectation from work normal?
I work at a smallish (~50 people) manufacturing facility in a professional level job. (In the South in the US.) I’ve been here for almost 10 years and this was my first job out of college so I don’t really have much to compare it to.
I’m trying to figure out if the work expectations are normal or unusual. Due to them, plus a few other factors, I’m looking for another job, and I am concerned about jumping from the frying pan into the fire. [more inside]
Help me choose a graduate program
My boss is encouraging me to get a master’s degree. I am drawn to something data-oriented. The options I am considering are geography, statistics, or epidemiology. I expect to talk this over with my boss, but I welcome your insight. Wall of text inside. [more inside]
Easy-glide curtain advice?
I want to make a big curtain that glides smoothly and easily. What hooks/rings/rods/tracks/other hardware will let me achieve that with a heavy curtain? I can mount it on the wall or the ceiling. [more inside]
Not that kind of experimenting.
Are there any other "experimental colleges" similar to UC Santa Barbara's College of Creative Studies, where undergrads pursue a self-directed, accelerated course of study, work closely with faculty, and do original research? Alternatively, are there any post-bacc or master's programs that would be similar in culture?
My grandma has anxiety about me travelling
I'm going on an international trip in April, for a period of 1-3 months, depending on how much money I can save by then. I'm from the US and going to South Korea and Japan. I plan to travel around these countries by myself and stay in hostels. I'm a 20 something woman. I live in a big city already, so I've developed street smarts.
But my grandma's very anxious about me travelling and I don't know how to make her feel less worried. [more inside]
Fingernail etiquette - what do you do?
Do you clip your fingernails or bite them or tear them? Where? Would you consider it weird to e.g. clip off a hangnail at work? [more inside]
I'd like to see my art in that magazine/newspaper
How do artists get their art published for articles and such? [more inside]
"Swedishly" correct
I know this isn't Swedishly correct, but how wrong is it? Or how weird to use this word this way? [more inside]
Coping when your spouse has a pain in the neck,NHS style
Reaching out to Mefi for support and advice - my wife is becoming increasingly disabled from neck pain (struggles to walk, dress herself, drive, still sort of works but barely, is spaced out from three different painkillers) and this is taking a massive toll on her obviously but I am struggling too. Words of wisdom are appreciated! [more inside]
Help Me Fix an Incorrect Saved Username on an Okta Login Page in Chrome
This is a small problem, but I've run into it every time I log in to any system at work for the past 18 months, and at this point it threatens to last for all eternity. When the Okta login screen appears, the username field is pre-populated with an incorrect email. How do I fix or remove the pre-populated value outline in red on the screencap? Worth noting Chrome does have the correct autofill value saved (with associated password.)
Meal planning for a toddler with allergies
Looking for ideas for how busy parents can feed a toddler (and themselves). Difficulty level: allergies. [more inside]
I'm one of those pesky "sensitive groups."
I live in San Francisco. What else can this asthmatic do with unhealthy air quality from the Camp Fire? [more inside]
Trying to remember the name of a children's book
Trying to remember the name of a children's book I read in elementary school. It's in the category of Danny Dunn and Encyclopedia Brown. It's about a group of boys, one of whom, Oliver, is an inventor. He's come up with an energy source he calls DAVY power, which is used to power numerous devices and inventions, large and small. More details below. [more inside]
Talk to me about switching to an electric water heater
We need a new water heater, and are considering a switch from natural gas to electric. What do we need to know? [more inside]
Should I buy a sealed Nexus 7?
I'm looking for a small device that I can use exclusively for writing (paired with a bluetooth keyboard). I know someone selling a brand new, sealed Google Nexus 7 (2nd Gen), a device with a form factor I love (used to have one). Will this older device (running Android 6, I believe), experience lag or any other issues when paired with a bluetooth keyboard? Both have Bluetooth 4.
Can I get some resources on the retail apocalypse?
Do any of you know about good articles and books about the decline of US brick and mortar fashion retailers in what appears to be an otherwise thriving economic landscape? I periodically see the "what" in the news, but I want more information about what economists and industry people think about the "how" and the "why" of it. If anyone has any information about the decline of the suburban mall that addresses closure of the stores therein and not just a shift in presentation to open air markets, that would be good too.
Considering Quitting or Using Less Marijuana .... Have Some Questions
I have been smoking nightly and would like to taper down or quit, for numerous reasons and I have some questions [more inside]
raising children to speak the minority language of only one parent?
I'm in NYC. I would like my children to learn Mandarin, but my wife does not speak it at all and I speak it only poorly. We don't regularly socialize with people who speak Mandarin except my family. What are the minimal lifestyle changes we need to make in order to give our kids a good shot at learning Mandarin? Complications inside. [more inside]
Milan after dark
I will be visiting Milan in December for work. I'll be pretty busy during the days, but should have my evenings free. This will be my first time in Milan -- help me make the most of it! [more inside]
How do I handle noise disturbance from elderly tenants? (MA)
I'm managing a duplex in Massachusetts. I'm not affiliated with any sort of property management company, just doing this as a favor. The tenants one apartment are elderly and disabled. We installed railings for them, they're in contact with their grandkids, and they have aides and probably nurses who regularly come to their home. The problem is, one of them has started screaming and crying during the night. The other tenants had to move their bedroom, and they can still hear the sound clearly in the bathroom. I asked if the elderly tenants could address the disturbance issue, and it's improved a little, but it's still going on. The owners and I are working together on how to best resolve this. What do we do? [more inside]
Madame Ovary, c'est moi
I have what's probably an ovarian cyst and it's pretty darn unpleasant. I'll be scheduling follow-ups with my OB-GYN, but in the meantime, I'd appreciate help puzzling out my latest symptoms. [more inside]
How Well Do You Know Cucurbitaceae?
In peeling a butternut squash, I found this pattern right under the skin. This is cool - it looks a lot like the lines on delicata that show on the exterior. Are these lines related? What are they for? Why are they under the skin on butternut and show through the skin on delicata?
November 10
Residential alcohol treatment facilities: please hope us pick
My wife is planning on entering a residential program for alcohol recovery in January. It turns out that finding the right facility is a nontrivial task. We found two locations that may work; are you familiar with The Haven at Pismo or Chapters Capistrano? Can you give us other recommendations or general advice? More info is inside. [more inside]
Your best kids audiobooks
What are the outstanding audiobooks for kids that you’ve read? My guys are 6 and 8 and really dig the stuff with multiple cast members. I’m looking either for the modern humor stuff like Origami Yoda or excellent renditions of the classics. Not stuff that’s too snarky. Not podcasts.
How do you bilingual?
Bilingual families, how do you ensure that both languages are getting a fair shake in your house? [more inside]
Best actual wood floors?
We are buying a home and want to replace roughly 800-1,000 sf of carpet with hardwood. One kid, no pets. REALLY prefer real wood. Do you have any recommended products or tips? [more inside]
Just now discovering The Essex Green and the Minders, so....
I am a massive fan of this kind of retro-pop goodness. Not so big on the rest of the Elephant 6 crew (except for early Of Montreal), and I've already been down the Belle & Sebastian road.
Let me know what else I'm missing out on! [more inside]
Resources to Unlearn Things
My New Years Resolution for 2018 involves the idea of "unlearning" a lot of harmful paradigms, traditions, dynamics, etc, that I was exposed to while growing up in WASP-y, middle class, capitalist, patriarchal America. I'm looking for any recommendations of books, articles, movies, shows, and any other material that might help challenge my perspectives or introduce me to new and better ways of thinking/being in this world. Have you ever come across something that totally changed your perspective or made you rethink everything you've known about a specific domain? Send it my way! [more inside]
Learning boring stuff for an interview
I have a very important interview coming up and need to read, and retain, a lot of dull corporate-speak and buzzwords before it. What’s the best way to do this? [more inside]
Putting Variables inside quotes in JavaScript
With a piece of Javascript like this:
form.vals({"prizePot":"830"});
How would I write it if I wanted to replace 830 with a variable named newPrizePot?
Super soft men’s long sleeve collared button down shirt
I’m looking for super soft and comfortable men’s button down collared long sleeve shirts that I can wear without an undershirt. I work in a semi casual office (some folks wear dress pants with their long sleeve button down shirts, some wear jeans, I can do either). Thank you in advance!
I want to be notified of any good sales, anywhere, on a particular thing
I want a particular brand of air fryer. I anticipate that this thing will go on some site's Black Friday sale. Maybe more than one site. I want to be notified as soon as the sale price gets announced, on any site.
I already use Honey to get notified of price drops on Amazon. I want a service that will keep me apprised of whenever this thing goes on sale anywhere else.
Is there a site/service that does this?
Power yoga with glaucoma?
I love following along to power yoga videos but don't see a way forward without being able to do poses that involve any degree of inversion. [more inside]
Snowbird cities
I have the opportunity to be a snowbird this winter for a few months, as I'll be working remotely. I'm looking for cities that are reasonably warm in the United States with a low cost of living where I can reside for a few months. [more inside]
Must Exhaust All Possibilities Before Resorting to Trash
I'm spoiled by living in Seattle where I can recycle or compost a lot of stuff, but every so often I come up with an item that stumps me. I have a lot of old pinback buttons (campaign buttons). A lot. And while the city says to just throw them in the garbage, I would really like to find an alternative. I'm happy to mail them to a facility that accepts them, but I can't find one.
Does anyone if there is a company or organization that will take them and recycle them? I'm also happy to donate to a place that would upcycle them.
Ctrl+V the rainbow
Where can I buy medium priced solid colored keyboards? [more inside]
Midlife and Sex! Sex! Sex!
Preoccupied with sex and crushes and wanting to be attractive to others. How to move on? [more inside]
How to have a good weekend
Work has been busy/more chaotic than usual, and I'm having trouble disconnecting/relaxing on the weekends. What are your tips for having a good weekend, especially one where you feel like you've had a chance to decompress and feel rejuvenated entering into the new week? [more inside]
Web content about sex and stuff
Looking to beef up my RSS feed with good stuff about sex and sexuality. What are the best, most reliable sources of content out there? [more inside]
Yet another budget app question
Looking for an extremely lightweight shared budget app. [more inside]
Can You Hear Me Now?! (Google Hangouts + iPhone Edition)
When I receive phone calls to my Google Voice number via Google Hangouts, I cannot hear the caller, nor can they hear me. I have no problems with outbound calls. Help? [more inside]
Interesting space to day-host 100-150 preteen astronauts in Atlanta?
Location to stage an Space STEAM Day event for middle-grade students in Atlanta in March? [more inside]
San Diego Camp Fire Threat?
I’m supposed to leave tomorrow for a five-day conference in San Diego. Should I be concerned about the Camp Fire spreading that far? I’ve found information about elevated fire risk generally due to weather conditions, and can’t decide whether to cancel.
What should be on my Work From Home shopping list?
Upcoming changes mean I will likely be able to work from home 1-2 days per week. I need to set up an office space here, and have basically nothing. I know I will need a desk, chair at least 2 monitors, a laptop dock (for my work computer), and keyboard/mouse etc. What am I forgetting?
Recording a spoken word performance
Later today, I'm doing a reading/performance for the first time in years. What's the best way to record it? [more inside]
Repeating Google Cal events that only appear a few days in advance
I use Google calendar and would like to have certain things (like "work out") on my calendar every day, so that each day I can just change the time to when I'm going to do them rather than create a new event every day. But I want these items to only show a week in advance so I don't look at my long range calendar it doesn't look filled up. I'm pretty sure there's no way to do this within Google Calendar itself, but I imagine there must be some hack or third-party solution (like IFTTT) that I could use. [more inside]
What TV should I buy under £350?
I have never bought a TV before. Now I want to buy a TV for less than £350, hopefully taking advantage of the sales. I'm in the UK. Cheaper is better, but not vital. Sound quality is important. I would like something with Wi-Fi and the best possible "smart" features I can get, both in terms of interface and services. Screen dimensions are not particularly important. I'm getting very confused between brands and reviews, so your guidance would be greatly appreciated.
Getting fired, no savings - should I take this unexciting job?
Pretty sure I'm getting fired in early December. I don't have any savings, and just got a job offer for something I'm not super excited about, but will definitely pay the bills and allow me to save while I live at home. MeFites, what's the play here? [more inside]
November 9
Easy way to collate shippers on Amazon?
I have a list of 13 books. I want to buy them in the cheapest manner possible. Hence, Amazon. But the cheapest prices are with 12 different shippers, about half of which charge shipping. Is there an easy way to find the cheapest prices at the same sellers to save on shipping? Or does it have to be painstaking cross-checking between multiple browser windows?
What is the weirdest, most obscure national organization you know of
that's better than "National Association of Parliamentarians"? [more inside]
We'll frolic and play the Mediterranean way...
I will have the opportunity to be in the eastern Mediterranean region of Europe in early January and am looking for recommendations for some of the best places to spend a very low-key holiday during the winter season. Details inside. [more inside]
How do you handle nervous social laughers?
I work in a small agency. Several people I work with have a habit I've never known how to deal with: social laughter, and I really need to know how to cope. Examples within: [more inside]
Help Me Address My Dog's Separation Anxiety
We just adopted a dog! Hooray! We adore her. However, she has separation anxiety. Have you successfully treated your dog's separation anxiety? I'd love to hear your story. Details within. [more inside]
Help me find something funny to watch in about three hours?
Some friends and I are getting away from various stresses by making dinner and watching something together tonight. We need something funny to watch that's available right now on Netflix or Hulu. My mind is blank because I have gloomier taste in media. Help? [more inside]
How do I Branston Pickle?
Having lately discovered the joys of Marmite, I became interested in trying that other seminally British condiment, Branston Pickle. I have obtained a jar. Now what do I do with it? [more inside]
Your favorite recent streaming documentaries?
Looking for people-focused documentaries made within the last five to ten years or so, available on streaming video--ideally inspiring, uplifting, or (non-violently) mysterious, please! [more inside]
Why would we trust Trump's tax returns?
If Trump did release his taxes, or if they got leaked: do we have any reason to think there's incriminating information on them, other than that he's not already releasing them? Why wouldn't his tax forms be bullcrap? Surely his accountants have ways to make him look squeaky clean, especially if they're not hindered by the truth?
Barristas, Hope Me! How should I ask for a cappuccino in the US?
Ordering a cappuccino on the east coast of the US often results in delivery of a large mug with a small/medium-sized latte with a thin layer of foam on the top. What I really want is a double shot of espresso, with the same amount of hot milk on top, and some foam on top of that; and that's what I often ask for. For some reason, when I explain this, people can get upset, and give me the medium-sized latte. What am I doing wrong? How can I ask for a cappuccino and get what I want? Cheers!
What to do with Balsamic Vinegar?
We got this gift of balsamic vinegar sent from Italy. What should we do with it? Any suggestions simple or involved are appreciated!
Best way to speed up my MacBook Air?
My relatively new MacBook Air is super-slow when I'm operating ... the way I usually operate. What's the best next step? Add RAM (if that's a possibility), upgrade my OS, buy a more powerful laptop? [more inside]
Help me prepare for eventual external trackpad death
My Logitech Touchpad T650 will eventually die. It has been EOL'd, and I've been unable to find a similar replacement. Help! [more inside]
Where around Boston can I get my Nikon lens repaired?
I have a Nikon 10-24mm f/3.5-4.5G that I bought back in 2012 that has come apart after some rough handling in a backpack. Any recommendations for a good place to get this assessed/repaired in or around Boston?
Have you seen Useless Edison?
I read this article in the Washington Post and want to try to find some of this guy's videos for my 10 yo son who loves Simone Giertz and went to a chinese immersion school for five years but is now home-schooling. I tried googling, downloading Kwai and searching in english, and emailing the author of the piece, but so far no luck. Please help me help my son avoid becoming another monolingual American (like me...). Thanks!
File Under: what have I gotten myself into, synthesizer edition
I've been asked to play a synth in an indie pop band. I grew up playing classical piano and am still competent with a keyboard, but I don't know how it works with being a keyboard player in a band (composed of guitar, bass, drums). I need ... a book or website? examples of bands I could listen to? Some kind of instruction or guidance. [more inside]
Elevation change of Logan Pass in Glacier National Park 1977-2018
My parents visited Glacier National Park when they were dating in 1977, and my dad took a picture of the Continental Divide sign in Logan Pass. This past summer, they went back, and he took another picture of the same sign. In the intervening 41 years, the elevation listed on the sign decreased by 8 meters. Is there an explanation for this change?
Why does my brake warning light come on at corners?
The brake warning light on my car comes on when I go round left hand corners and I have no idea why. Difficulty : It's a 90s Toyota with ABS and OBD1. Yes, one. [more inside]
Lee Scratch Perry track 'The Queen Can't Shit'
I remember hearing the story that, on hearing a rumour that the Queen Mother wore a colostomy bag legend Lee Scratch Perry was moved to record a song called "The Queen Can't Shit". Not only can I not find that mythical track, but only one website I can find mentions the tale.
Is there any truth in this wonderful story? And if so, where can I hear the track?
How to interview for a job when you know it's not really the right fit?
How to interview for a job when you know it's probably not the right fit? [more inside]
Blue, white, and red. No. Red, blue, and white. No...
My coworker stumped me so I'm asking you. Why is the phrase always "Red, white, and blue"? If you say it in any other order, it sounds bizarre. Why is that? Is there an original source that went viral back in the olden days and now we're just used to it? Or is it a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife situation, and if so, what is the name of the rule in play?
Calibre/Ebooks Organization, How do you Organize?
I have a massive ebook collection from multiple platforms (3000+). I currently use Calibre to store them, but it's impossible to sort through unless I know the exact title. How do you people organize efficiently? [more inside]
NJ Transit the day before Thanksgiving
I'm considering making a day trip to New York to see a matinee the day before Thanksgiving. How crowded will the NJ Transit northeast corridor line to/from Hamilton NJ be? Will I be able to find a seat? I will of course do my best to avoid rush hour, but I've been worried it might be super busy leaving New York in the evening if everybody is trying to go visit their families in NJ.
The Insurance My Car Needs, The Insurance My Car Deserves
I have a 2007 Toyota Prius. Is it still financially worthwhile for me to have comprehensive insurance for it? [more inside]
Lightweight fall/spring jacket, for petites?
I need a new fall jacket, and I can't seem to find one. This is for DC weather, so think damp 40 to 50 degrees, with windy days on occasion. I work in a formal office, so I want one that can go with dresses and skirts (a trench, maybe?). Must be petite. [more inside]
Where does “WPA style” fit in art history?
What was the relationship (if any) between the “WPA style” used to promote the US’s National Parks in the 1940s, and other artistic movements like shin-hanga in Japan? Was there any influence - in either direction - between the posters and Yoshida Hiroshi’s work, especially his own prints of National Parks?
What other clubs/hobbies have a community like CrossFit?
I'm considering trying CrossFit but I'm not sure the actual programming is my thing. But I'm really drawn to what I've heard about the community aspect of CrossFit.
Supposing I decide not to go to CrossFit, what other hobbies/clubs/venues/etc. should I try to find that camaraderie? [more inside]
You see this egg? You see this egg?
What can I do tonight (ie in the next few hours) with up to 6 eggs, two flour tortillas, green onions, and unspecified other ingredients purchasable at the supermarket? [more inside]
November 8
Resources for math refresher?
I plan to take an introductory statistics course in the spring. But first I need to take a placement test, and my math is rusty. [more inside]
Lateral Hostility?
I read an article in a magazine about bullying or about hostile work environments a couple months ago. The magazine may have been Psychology Today. It talked about how when the hostility comes from the top of an organization, it makes its way down to the lowest level and causes the people on this level to 'fight' amongst themselves, calling it lateral or horizontal hostility or something like that. Do you happen to know the article I'm talking about? [more inside]
Should I start keeping chickens?
I live in the suburbs. I have a large yard where previous owners had a chicken coop but they tore it down when selling the house. We live in a climate where it gets very hot in the summer and very cold in the winter. I am interested in having chickens for the eggs, and to help show my young son where his food comes from. [more inside]
Cooking classes for the single middle aged man?
I know it's not much, but I can cook pasta, grill chicken breast, make scrambled eggs, etc. I'd like to start cooking at home more often and eating a bit healthier to save on money and get in better shape. Is there a good place in Denver to take not too expensive cooking classes for a single middle aged guy that would help me go from beginner to intermediate level skills? Thanks!
Huge Hunk of Meat
I work in a residential facility for women, and we get a lot of donated food. Our most recent haul includes a 17.5 pound whole, boneless beef sirloin. It's just a huge slab of cow - it retailed for $116, for crying out loud. How on earth do we cook this thing? [more inside]
Not tired of life, ergo not tired of London
The future Ms. Ubiquity and I will be vacationing in London from Boxing Day through New Year's Day. We both know the city well, and would be happy to spend the time revisiting the British Museum, the V&A, the Tates, Westminster, the Palace and the Parks, etc., by day and the theatres by night. But what is there new or unusual that we might not have seen? [more inside]
NY/NJ travel: turbo wedding hygiene edition
Mr. Armeowda and I are flying into New York for a wedding in mid-December. His obligations the day before will not allow for an early departure, ergo: red-eye! We’ll leave late the night before, and touch down at JFK around 6 AM the day of the wedding. We’ll need to reach Metuchen by high noon. Complication: somewhere in there, we want a chance to shower, primp, and change clothes. Is this doable? [more inside]
Is a contract requiring free work illegal?
My union negotiated a contract that requires some employees - not all - to be required or potentially be required to work for free. The union says since it's the contract there's nothing to be done. I say it's a violation of Federal law, which trumps the contract. Who's right, or is there an additional factor I'm overlooking? [more inside]
Environmental justice quote?
I'm trying to find a particular quote about environmental justice (or even better, the original video), only I can't remember who said it and what the precise quote was. [more inside]
Return of my problematic cat/roommate situation
My cat has stopped pooping on my roommate's stuff! But my roommate is still understandably angry. Is there anything more I can do? [more inside]
Ideas for increasing player spending at a Pub Quiz?
What bells and whistles can I add to a standard Pub Quiz format to encourage the players to spend more money? [more inside]
Dithering between a new Kindle Paperwhite and a Kobo Clara HD
I want to replace my old 5th gen Kindle, but I'm pretty meh on the new Paperwhite. I really like the look of the Kobo Clara HD but am hesitating because the software side seems clunkier. If you have a Kobo, tell me about how you get your books to your device! [more inside]
Christmas Gift *Theme* Ideas
My husband and I want to start a tradition between ourselves of creative gift-giving for Christmas.
We like the idea of having a theme or prompt to adhere to, and changing it every year, so I want to compile a list we can draw from randomly, and I am looking for ideas! [more inside]
I suck at car, halp.
I keep draining the battery on my car (2015 Subaru Forester) because my daughter or me leave the interior lights on at the end of the day. How can I make this stop? I never notice they are on and never think to check. I can't be the only absentminded, unobservant person to have this problem. Help me. [more inside]
Socks for people with calves
I am in search of socks - regular and fuzzy - for people with non-toothpick calves. I have tried a bunch of brands and they all eat into my legs like nobody's business. Especially the ones with bands around the top - I find them unwearable. The three main categories I am interested are: plain black trouser socks for work; fun socks; and soft fuzzy slipper socks. I am 100% certain that I do not have the largest or the most delicate calves on metafilter, so fellow calf-having people, WTF do you put on your feet??? [more inside]
The days roll alone, one the same as the next...
You have a 12 year old boy who is in public school and doesn't do sports. Can you tell me what his day looks like from the time school lets out until bedtime? [more inside]
Please translate this from the Irish
Please translate this from the Irish. We believe it's my grandfather's service record from the Irish armed forces after WWII. It'd be nice to know the actual wording. [more inside]
Head clearing retreat needed ASAP!
Hive mind take me away! I need a 2-3 day retreat within 3 hours drive of Western Mass that I can go to in the upcoming weeks. Requirements/details below the fold. [more inside]
What can we do about a specialist doctor who is constantly late?
My father is seeing a neurologist in Toronto for botox injections for dystonia. The specialist was highly recommended by his doctor and we've seen him 3 times so far and he's been consistently over an hour late every time for all the people waiting for him. [more inside]
Name this puppy - scruffy edition
I'm 90% sure I'm adopting this little dandelion head tomorrow. He is going to need a name. My other dog is named Rooney and as you can see they are long lost cousins.
Looking forward to your ideas!
What exactly does "Women and Femmes" mean?
Here's a link to an article talking about how people expect emotional labor from women and femmes. The article isn't important in itself, it's just illustrating the usage, which I've seen off and on over the past two? three? years, but which I haven't seen a precise definition for.
Specifically, who are 'femmes' as distinct from women? My theory is that it's everyone whose gender identity is somewhere on the feminine side of the spectrum but who doesn't identify as a woman, but I've asked a bunch of people I know who are generally up on this sort of language, and I haven't found anyone who's sure about how it's being used.
Coat repair!
Where should I go to fix a zipper on a heavy-duty winter coat? [more inside]
Pressure & (sometimes) pain behind the kneecap
My right knee has been feeling weird for the last week or so and I don't know what my first port of call for doing something about it should be. [more inside]
Yet another "can I eat this?"...
I bought some expensive smoked salmon, opened it on Saturday, and it's been in the fridge since then. Also some goats cheese. [more inside]
Mystery Rash
I woke up this morning with a small patch of tiny raised colourless bumps on the back of one wrist. It's very localised, there's no redness, and it's itchy but not terribly so. The bumps look like they could be tiny blisters, about the size of a pinhead, but I'm not sure if they're fluid-filled or not.
What does that sound like? Dr Google hasn't been very helpful. [more inside]
November 7
Is there any way to record macros in PowerPoint 2016?
I love VBA macros, and am deeply frustrated by the lack of a macro recorder in PowerPoint. This is primarily because, even though it can still run macros, I often don't know the names of the commands or objects I want to manipulate, and I've found it much easier (in Excel, for example) to record it and see what it does as opposed to digging through piles of documentation. Are there any add-ins which replicate the functionality, or alternate solutions?
Linkback checker for sites I don't own
My boss has asked me to find out (as best I can) how many times a particular page on a website (3 separate sites) has been linked to, tweeted or shared. [more inside]
Zika Virus in Brazil: Still Unsafe for Pregnant Women?
We just found out that my wife is pregnant! Yay! The tricky part: She has a work trip to Rio coming up next week (the trip has been scheduled for awhile now). We’re not sure if she should cancel (which would cause a non-trivial amount of issues for her company) or forge ahead and be careful to avoid mosquito bites! Any advice? [more inside]
Mindfulness without the woo?
I am trying to cope with a personal situation that cannot be changed any time soon (possibly never?) and find myself getting really angry about other things in my life. It's like having a very very short fuse -- things that I would normally laugh or roll my eyes at, now make me want to punch a wall. I think this is a reaction to my feeling so powerless about the personal situation. Mindfulness/meditation isn't helping. What will? [more inside]
Mac recommendations for a Mac luddite
I want to purchase a Mac for Christmas but have zero familiarity with the lineup beyond pure hardware specs. Advice please! [more inside]
Migraine? Dehydration? Brain cancer?
Monday, working at a warehouse, I did a new job and sweated a lot. I drank a good bit of water- at least 6 32 oz, maybe up to10. It probably wasn't enough, I felt thirsty a few times throughout the day. Now, Tuesday and Wednesday I've felt moderately nauseated, very headachy, thirsty, tired. Am I dying? [more inside]
In what order do I change my name and gender on ID documents?
What's the best order to change my identity documents and gender marker?
(Difficulty level: I live in Oregon where changing legal name/gender and state ID is super easy, but my birth certificate is from a state where I need to have gender affirmation surgery first. Details inside.) [more inside]
Where to move in Jersey City
So my husband and I want to move to Jersey City from one of the boroughs of New York City. The last time I was in JC was, oh, 1991 or so. We have no idea where to look. Halp please. [more inside]
How to be a modern stoner
Weed is legal in Canada! And I have so many questions. Stoners of AskMe, help me out with the basics here. [more inside]
What's the latest on how to best fight suppression of POC votes?
Since this 2016 post, what are some of the best ways to contribute to fight voter suppression in purple districts with significant populations of people of color? [more inside]
How to find micro blogs and podcasts?
I love reading and listening to blogs and podcasts but I'm only familiar with the big ones. Are there aggregators I can use to specifically sort by size/reach to find the little blogs and podcasts that deserve some love? [more inside]
men's colder weather casual style question. beanie/scarf edition
go with a matchy-matchy color and texture? one or both different? [more inside]
What is the opposite of an Ice Breaker?
What are some fun conversation starters that you've had with your very good friends who you know very well? [more inside]
Relationship Issue: Is it Me?
My boyfriend is condescending and egotistical and things he says and does makes me cringe... yet, he loves me and treats me well and makes me, for the most part, happy. Is it me that has the issue, other people, or him? I'm embarrassed of him at times, but other times, he makes things so much better. What is wrong here? [more inside]
Best Practices for Cooking and Cocktails and Copyright?
I'm a graphic designer working on a cookbook/activity book with a client/friend that I've worked with several times before, and I'm trying to figure out how copyright law may affect this project and what the best style of attribution may be. [more inside]
Toronto: buying household stuff in no packaging/reduced packaging?
I am trying to reduce my plastic usage but realised that my family goes through a lot of single-use plastic bottles and containers for food, cleaners, etc.
I know many places where I can get peanut butter and other food in bulk, but is there somewhere in Toronto that sells household cleaners in bulk or reduced packaging? [more inside]
What's a practical way of managing batteries for cordless tools?
I'm in the market for a basic, battery powered drill/impact driver combo but it seems that every manufacturer has their own battery system. I have a 20 year old Makita drill that functionally fine, but the batteries no longer hold the charge. I also have a battery powered Hoover vacuum. I already have 2 chargers, and I'm reluctant to introduce another battery system (like DeWalt, maybe). Is anyone making adapters or something or should I just bite the bullet and deal with 5 chargers?
I'm sorry for your loss.
What is the history of this phrase? I noticed it first on crime dramas. It is an efficient way for professionals to say something with condolences without being overly invested in victim grief. But I've noticed many people in the insurance, rehab, funeral and medical community using it. [more inside]
What do I need to know to swing?
Someone has offered us their (amazing looking) swing set. We need to dissemble said swing set, load it into a truck, get it home, and reassemble it. How? [more inside]
the secret to closing this vintage laundry bag?
When was the last time the Texas congressional delegation was this Blue?
Democrats picked up several congressional seats in Texas, making the next congressional delegation from Texas noticeably bluer than the current one. When was the last time Texas sent this many Democrats to the House of Representatives? (Secondary question: is there an easy way to figure this out?)
Beto and Ted
Is there an action somewhere to verify that Ted Cruz really won? [more inside]
Which laptop should I buy?
I am looking for an affordable laptop (around $1000 CAD). I normally work with Chrome and Firefox running with 5-10 tabs each, using online platforms that play video and let me add text etc. [more inside]
How much should I worry: High blood pressure
I am a 60+ female who takes Ritalin for ADHD. As part of that, I see a nurse periodically to answer questions and get my blood pressure taken. Today I asked if the nurse would mind taking my blood pressure in both arms because I had read in the Harvard medical newsletter that potential problems can show up by a difference in the arms. [more inside]
Still in shock after rude comments at loved one's funeral
Recently, a very close relative of mine passed away after a lengthy illness. Lots of family and friends showed up to the wake and funeral, and my relative was known for being very generous to family, friends, and charities alike. The vast majority of people there were respectful and understanding of what we were going through. I was very sad, to say the least, but I was able to stay calm through the wake. But there was one relative... [more inside]
I'd like to do it, but I'd like the money...
How do I handle this salary discussion situation? Have you been in this situation? How did it go?
Based on some market research, I'm probably around underpaid around 25%. At the same time, I've been asked to get in a role which is not my first choice, but is still pretty good. I just got told by the client that without me in the role they are not sure what they will do. I'd like to use this as leverage to get to the market rate. Some details insde: [more inside]
Waiting until 33 to start a PhD: anecdotes, tips, advice, perspective
What was starting a PhD in your 30s like for you? Were there things you considered in preparation that proved to be especially useful for getting through it, especially in the time leading up to starting? [more inside]
Hyperlocal touring in Massachusetts
I'm planning a quick "tour" of New York City where I'd play five shows in the five boroughs over a five-day period. I would like to do a quick, hyperlocal tour in the Boston area that has a similar approach. What would be an equivalent tour in the Greater Boston area?
Things I'm thinking about:
- Seven Hills of Somerville
- Thirteen villages of Newton
RF Micro-switch
I would like to buy a switch for industrial applications which, when pressed, sends a radio signal to a receiver up to 50' away. This switch would be a small button, no larger than an inch or two in any dimension. I would attach it to a torch head of a TIG welder. The dimensions of the receiver would be less important. I'll explain more inside. [more inside]
Where to get a valid Windows 7 Home Premium product key?
I bought a copy of Windows 7 Home Premium from ebay and installed it on 4/8/2018, which has worked fine until a few weeks back (a month?), I'm now getting an invalid product key warning, with 2 days left to activate. [more inside]
A Cleaner Empire In Just Two Weeks....
I have decided to spend a two-week period upping both my housecleaning and self-care grooming game. Help me plan my attack. [more inside]
Cameras, printers and cameras that print: what's the best option?
My daughter has expressed a desire for a 'Polaroid camera' for Christmas. This technology must have moved on a great deal since the days of real Polaroids, but what are the options and does anyone have any commendations? [more inside]
Becoming a Psychotherapist: California vs Oregon vs Washington vs BC
I’m preparing to start a Master’s in Counseling Psychology, and looking at schools in San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, and Vancouver BC. Which of these has the best career prospects? Licensure, job opportunities... thanks in advance!
November 6
Sunscreen woes
At the start of the summer, I used a spray-on sunscreen that a guest had left behind. In true allergic style, the second time I used it, I broke out into a rash. I don't remember what the sunscreen was, and stupid, stupid me threw it away. [more inside]
Applying for Italian citizenship via jure sanguinis
I'm looking for companies that experienced folks would recommend. Going the DIY route is too time consuming and risky, so I'd like to hire an agency to provide some services. I think I can do most of the US research myself. Details after the jump. [more inside]
Why am I allergic to my clothes???
There are particular clothes I just got that are setting off my allergies and I can't figure out why. (I have an allergy test in the works, but I have to wait for the results.) [more inside]
Electric Dryer: Old Outlet for New Plugs
I just moved into an apartment that has a hookup for an electric clothes dryer. However, I've been told that the outlet, an old-style 3-prong (Pic1; Pic2) was made obsolete about 15 years ago in favor of a four-prong outlet. Three-prong dryers are not made anymore. I need help in solving this puzzle. [more inside]
what laptop should I buy?
Long time Apple user, now don't care but don't understand my other options. Seeking device mostly used for word processing, internet, movies, very light Steam gaming, reading Feedly, and playing music (can it link to my Sonos speaker?). I don't think I want to go Chromebook, but...? I want to buy used or refurbished for environment reasons but cheap also good. [more inside]
Quit playing' games with my heart... seriously, that's enough
I'm dealing with constant heart palpitations, after tests came back normal. What are my next steps? [more inside]
Oil Filter Filter
Y'all, is it insane to think that an angry person might have removed my oil filter because they hated that I am a lefty socialist? Or something? [more inside]
Mardis Gras Float Name
Heya. I need a good name for a Mardis Gras float. Obviously that's not till next year but submissions are due, time runs short, and we're still looking for a better name than
No Pride In Climate Change [more inside]
Programming for Business/MIS: Java or C++?
As part of finishing my degree (business with a concentration in management information systems), I'll be taking a programming class. My options are Java or C++ - what's the better way to go? [more inside]
“Not in a zoo, dad!”
The not_the_water family will be in New Orleans this weekend for a wedding and my 4.5-year-old has requested to see “real alligators in a real swamp.” Where do we go? [more inside]
What is the cheapest way to remotely monitor my dog?
What is the cheapest solution for (temporarily--like just for a couple of days) remotely monitoring my dog? What I already possess: a MacBook, an iPad, and an iPhone. Can I use some combination of these to watch him? If not, what cheapo thing can I buy to make this happen?
What should I do about a polling problem?
I noticed a problem with my polling place today. Essentially google and Apple map the wrong location, and across the street from the incorrect location is a different polling place that says “vote here”. It’s confusing and I’m concerned that people will lose their chance to vote, especially towards the time the polls close. [more inside]
Stimulants, blood sugar and endocrinology
I'm looking for high-quality (ideally: peer-reviewed, large cohort) information on the effects of amphetamine stimulants (eg Adderal) on blood glucose levels and insulin response. How does long-term prescription stimulant use affect blood glucose levels? [more inside]
Looking for your favorite letter/penpal organizations
I'm getting more into cursive handwriting and want to write letters for fun and handwriting practice. What are some good organizations/ways to find some letter recipients? [more inside]
Our mailman hates us... (subscription boxes...)
Do you subscribe to, or have you gifted, subscription boxes? Do you have a favorite? I'm looking for personal reviews and recommendations, not just a "top ten list of the best subscription boxes." I'm also delineating between something like FabFitFun versus something like Hello Fresh/Gwynnie Bee. [more inside]
What can I do with this old frozen beef? Can I give it to my cat?
Back when I was still in denial and walking around saying that I was going to start cooking more, I bought some beef. I never used it. What can I do with it? [more inside]
Egg white protein powder: recommendations for samples
As a whey-hater, and a vegan-plant-protein-hater, I'm anxious to try egg-based protein powder. But I don't want to buy a giant canister for $40. I want to buy a small canister for $10 or so. a) Am I likely to like it ok, and b) any sources for small sample type containers?
Thanksgiving weekend in Mojave National Preserve (or JTree?)
Heading to the Southern California desert over Thanksgiving weekend for some desert decompression, and trying to decide where to go and what to do. [more inside]
Help us find middle names for our twins.
Mr. Millipede and I are expecting boy-girl twins in February. We've got first names. We've got a last name. We are having an extraordinarily difficult time with middle names, and a long series of caveats/needs/preferences for said names. Up for the challenge? Please help. [more inside]
Remove Google search bar on android
My phone just updated and now there's a big google search bar at the bottom on my screen and I can't get rid of it. I'm on a Nokia 6.1, current Android version 9, latest patch 10/1/18. [more inside]
Will eat for peanuts
I just got the best peanut butter powder EVER. Into what should I mix it? Also, I adore peanut butter balls, so give me all your variations! My palate thanks you.
Help managing relationship with a violent family member
I need help making it clear to one family member that our decision to sever contact with another family member will not change. [more inside]
Alternatives to Publix in New Orleans?
Looking for an alternative to Publix for bakery and deli custom-ordered items. [more inside]
"Big board" midterm election display options?
Looking for an airport arrivals/departures-style display to follow tonight's election returns as they come in. [more inside]
Vacillation on Vocation Education
A friend of mine is looking into a mid-life career change and is interested in attending a trade school and learning a skilled trade. What's the best value for money in trade programs? [more inside]
Whatsapp when traveling?
I'm overseas and I bought a local SIM card which I am using. My current WhatsApp contacts still seem to be able to contact me. But if I want a new contact to be able to find me on WhatsApp, should I give them my Australian number or my current local number? [more inside]
Remodel Going Over Budget
A friend of mine's home remodel is going over budget. He had done a cash-out refi to fund the construction, but, now due to some cost overruns, he's getting a little short. What are some strategies for getting some more money to put towards the remodel? [more inside]
Masters degree worth it for career switch?
What is the feasibility of switching into a new (tech/engineering) career by getting a masters degree in it? How much does quality of school matter? Or is it kind of a waste of time? [more inside]
Guitars, Pedals, Kits, Oh My!
Looking for a Christmas present for my adult son who is a programmer and has some interest in electronics and guitars. Maybe a kit? [more inside]
Stats / BI / KPIs in an adverse environment
I'm looking for books, papers, blog posts or anything else that deals with measurement in an environment where the data sources are not simply biased, but actively try to deceive the observer.
Is there research into this? If so, what are the key terms to look for? Details, examples below the fold. [more inside]
“Politics = Personal” is eating away at my marriage
The election results of Nov 2016 were shocking for both me and my husband, but we’re dealing with things differently. I’m worried about him, which in turn makes me worry for us. [more inside]
Savings/Investment Advice for Young Cancer Survivor
Summary: I'm 33 with a ~60 percent chance of becoming terminal within 5-10 years. Saving for retirement doesn't make sense, but I'd like to set aside money for health emergencies and bucket list trips (and ideally have it gain interest). Best options? [more inside]
Hull painting scheme of SSBN-643 USS George Bancroft?
I'm building a model kit for my dad for Christmas of the boat he served on in the Navy. The kit is actually for the lead sub in the class, but it contains decals for the others. The instructions have four different paint scheme suggestions, with slight differences, and I'm not sure which one to use. [more inside]
Air routes where most passengers are connecting?
Just out of curiosity, are there any air routes where a high percentage of passengers will be connecting to another flight? Which routes is this common on?
November 5
Software you paid for or consider paying for?
What is your list of software worth paying for?
sometimes free alternatives are present, but I ask about software that you think it is a good value for money
Games not included
Windows, MAC, ios, Android whatever
any software type/category [more inside]
android exercise tracking application that can record complexes?
I'm looking for an exercise tracking application that (1) runs on Android, (2) doesn't request bizarre permissions (no location, no identity, no contacts, definitely no microphone), and (3) can record complexes, where a single rep is a sequence of several lifts (e.g., 1 snatch + 1 overhead squat, or 1 clean + 1 front squat + 1 jerk). Any ideas?
Resources for designing information-dense yet attractive presentations
I'm spending an increasing amount of time authoring presentations on information-dense presentations. Most of the templates that accommodate a lot of text have the aesthetic appeal of Khrushchyovka-style Soviet apartment buildings and the templates that have visual appeal are designed for the Steve Jobs style presentations where little of the message was on the screen in text format. Any suggestions on books/web sites/other resources that provide guidance on how to create modern but effective presentations when you need page after page of text? [more inside]
My borderline sister is destroying my relationship with our parents
How do I maintain a good relationship with my parents while minimizing contact with my BPD sister, who lives with them? [more inside]
I'm not very handy, but could I replace a broken side mirror?
My side mirror broke off today (I tried to enter my garage at a poor angle!) and I am pretty annoyed by this. I was looking around online and it appears that this type of repair is (apparently) much cheaper to do yourself. However, if I'm not a handy person... is it realistic for me to do this myself? [more inside]
Flu shot freakout!
Need tips for helping a 12 year old who is scared of needles successfully get vaccinated. [more inside]
I behaved super inappropriately with a friend while intoxicated
I behaved super inappropriately with a friend while intoxicated. How do I make amends? [more inside]
Inexplicable noise in old house
A bizarre, intermittent clicking noise has haunted one spot on the floor of the master bedroom of our newly purchased, 100-year-old house. Pest control, electrician, HVAC installer, home inspector have all come up empty. Help! Details inside. [more inside]
Why do locator maps on Wikipedia pages go blank when enlarged?
Locator maps on Wikipedia pages often have red dots, such as this one for Olduvai Gorge in Tanzania. But when you click on the map to enlarge it, the red dot is no longer shown. This happens on every map of this type that I've seen on Wikipedia, including cities, mountain peaks, and other places of interest. I see this happen in both Safari and Chrome. Why?
How to stop thinking about something I'm undecided on?
How do you stop thinking about something that is bothering you? For instance, let's say you are undecided about something in your life, whether it is a relationship, whether to stay at a job, etc. Whenever I have a problem like that, my mind will think about it from the moment I wake up, til I go to bed, and won't stop no matter what I'm doing, even when I try my hardest not to think about it. I've tried mindfulness in a sense of allowing the thoughts there and going about my day anyways, and I've tried distraction techniques. Sometimes the thing is something that I can't decide right then, and need more time to feel out, but the constant thinking about it depresses my mood. I'm wondering if anyone has some helpful tips.
What are some good short stories where the hero loses but also wins?
Looking for short tales where the main character is defeated after a valiant struggle but also wins in some other surprising way. I find these types of stories quite satisfying when done right!
fiction podcasts
What are your favorite fiction podcasts, or radio dramas I can easily download and access on my phone? [more inside]
Pleasurable Dining Out With Extensive Dietary Restrictions
I'm an enthusiastic omnivore living in a well-known food city. I enjoy dining out for relaxation, learning about new foods and cooking techniques, and celebrating special occasions and milestones. However, my girlfriend follows a very limited diet for health reasons. This makes dining out challenging and even if the food can be made according to her diet, the result is often not that interesting or tasty. Is there a way we can make eating out genuinely pleasurable for both of us, or do I resign myself to doing most of my restaurant dining alone or with friends? [more inside]
Indoor plants for a beginner
For the first time in a long time, I can have house plants: I finally have both sunny rooms and grown-up, sedate cats who won't try to eat and/or climb into them. I haven't had plants in a long long time, and have no idea where to start. [more inside]
Xmas present search: Antique photo mirror effect
I've seen these charming antique booklets with mirrored photos, just like this one: https://photos.app.goo.gl/XQe68JANszcxoNVn8
I'm trying to find a service where I can send/upload a photo and have them printed/treated like this.
Any tips?
Election night in Boise
I’m going to be in Boise for work, a thousand miles away from my Democratic Party neighborhood action team here in Wisconsin. Where should I go to hang out with fellow lefties as we refresh the megathread and Nytimes and watch the results roll in? [more inside]
All-inclusive tropical resort that doesn't suck?
I’m looking for a beach destination for a one-week honeymoon in mid-January. Ideally, we’d go someplace all-inclusive, and fancy enough that we feel pampered somewhat. However, all I know about all-inclusive places are from one-star reviews of cheap mega-resorts that constantly try to upsell you into buying into their vacation clubs. [more inside]
How can I watch election tv results streaming on the internet?
We don’t have a TV but would like to watch live U.S. coverage tomorrow night. Is there a streaming option for PBS, or any major broadcaster?
What was this asynchronous world conquest game I played in grade school?
In grade school (mid-90s) I distinctly remember playing an asynchronous turn-based strategy game that pitted ancient civilizations against one another for control of the world map. Did it actually exist outside of my class, and if so, what was it called? [more inside]
Dictionary of phrases you've heard before...
I'm looking for an online dictionary of idioms, cliches, proverbs, common metaphors, turns of phrase, famous quotations etc. So if I looked up the word hide, let's say, I might find "hidden agenda" or "hidden in plain sight" or "hide and seek" but maybe also idioms/cliches/proverbs etc. involving closely-related words like "secret" or "missing" or whatever. I would love something where I could look up a word appearing in any of these kinds of phrases, not to have to look up in 5 different dictionaries, but if you know a fabulous dictionary that covers just one, I guess I might have to settle.
Want to watch their faces light up when they unzip their presents
I have a bunch of teens and young adults on my Christmas list this year. One gift idea I'm mulling is to give them a thumb drive with a bunch of fun digital "stocking stuffers." Help me fill their digital stockings with Christmas morning delights. (basic requirements inside) [more inside]
protection order in a tight knit community
My friend has an order of protection against her ex since he beat her up. The arts/music/scene community is pretty tight in my town; is there a template for making sure he knows not to show up at common events, without engaging him more than necessary? Thanks in advance.
Workplace harassment by CEO -- Help me find article links to send to HR
My coworker has been documenting being harassed (some sexual comments, but mostly just inappropriate boundary issues) by her boss, the CEO, and told HR about it -- but now HR wants her to sit in a room with him and "talk it out." She absolutely doesn't want to do that. Is there any case study or link you can send with how wrong this is to ask her to do this? [more inside]
What's eating me?
Most of the past few nights I've gotten bug bites, apparently while sleeping. I washed all my bedding and inspected my furniture yesterday and I got another cluster of bites last night. I have a friend flying in to visit on Friday, and I want them not to be eaten. I want to not be eaten. Help. [more inside]
Help me fix my bad digital habits
I'm (finally) replacing my aged Macbook Air with a less aged Macbook Air. New computer, new slate, and I'd like to fix three bad habits of mine - hoarding cloud services, hoarding screenshots, and Too Many Text Files. More details below. [more inside]
Kitty troubles
I have 2 kitties - one that's 2 and one that's 6 months - and they used to be the best of friends. The older one treated the younger like her own kitten. But lately she's been hissing and swatting at him whenever he gets near? What is going on? How can I help?? [more inside]
How should I handle job requirements that weren't provided previously?
I just transferred to a new job within a new federal agency, in which the job application said "occasional" travel, but that "occasional" has changed to "substantial" in my eyes. I am so anxious about these requirements and that I will not be able to meet them, that I'm having a hard time focusing on learning my new job. How should I handle this both personally and professionally? [more inside]
What helped you directly face a fear?
I'm actively planning to do something terrifying (to me; probs not super scary to 99% of people, and quite safe and physically painless in reality). How do you actually make yourself do the scary thing in the moment? [more inside]
Is there some place I can access PhD dissertation abstracts?
My fictional character is a sociologist or anthropologist (or possibly historian). I am none of those things. In order to home in on her specialty, I'd like to peruse dissertation titles and abstracts. Is there some way for me, a non-academic, to do that?
Good bars in Philly for watching midterm results?
I'm looking for a bar in Philadelphia to watch midterm results tomorrow. Criteria: not too loud/boisterous, will be guaranteed to have midterm coverage on, no Republicans (it's Philly so pretty safe on this one but you never know.) I'm in South Philly so someplace local would be ideal but will travel (via public transit) if necessary. Any tips for me? I haven't had much luck searching online. Thanks in advance!
Intermittent lazy eye in toddler
My daughter (2.5) has an intermittent lazy eye. The eye doctor can't see it. Now what? [more inside]
Need some input for upgrading a video card
I'm looking for a new video card for my desktop. I'd like to keep it to $250 but if I absolutely have to I can push it to $270. Current stats are ~ CPU - Intel i7 4770 / RAM - 24.0GB DDR3 / Motherboard - ASUS Z87-PLUS / Graphics - GeForce GTX 660
Product recs just because
What's a product that you swear by and you would totally recommend to anyone? [more inside]
November 4
A bird in the hand is better than waiting for more rejections, right?!
Was finally and quite suddenly offered a job after months of looking. Not really the job I want, though, and in the place I want to be. Should I take it anyway? [more inside]
What do you do if your partner's friends don't like you?
I'm starting to suspect my boyfriend's friends don't like me and I'm not sure where to go with that. [more inside]
TV series that are origin stories for famous characters
What are some TV series that explore the coming of age/teenage origin story of a well-known fictional character, other than SMALLVILLE and YOUNG INDIANA JONES CHRONICLES? Thanks!
I have Vintage 50+ 8mm Porn Films From Late 60's and Early 70's.
I purchased this porn collection at an estate sale.
In the collection I found "Lovemaking", a film made by visionary video artist Stan Brakhage.
What is the best way to sell these reels? While the Brakhage film can be sold on Ebay. The vintage porn cannot.
Also, what other avenues are there where I can sell the Brakhage film?
What's the best way to last minute donate to support the Blue Wave?
I'm looking to donate about $50 tonight or tomorrow in support of the Democrats this election. I know it's pretty last minute--what's the most effective way to lend financial support at this juncture? My priority is for the Democrats to take back the House of Representatives. Thanks!
My friend's abuser in the tech industry, what to do?
My friend's abuser is active in tech spaces and they need help. Pronouns and names obscured for protection. [more inside]
I need an iPhone case that will hold several cards, BUT...
I currently have this one which is perfect in every way except one.
The case has room for 3 cards, it's got a nifty folding bit that you can use to angle it up, it's super-strong with great protection but not gigantic. [more inside]
If Cirque du Soleil adapted The Cyborg Manifesto
Help me find inspo pictures (especially around home decor/interior design) for this particular aesthetic: if Cirque du Soleil adapted The Cyborg Manifesto. [more inside]
What is this wooden object?
My husband and I found this wooden object in a drawer and vaguely remember that it had a purpose. Do any of you know what it is?
Cheap food in quantity + convenience
Hi! I'm trying to improve our family's food game by cooking big meals more often and using more vegetables. Thoughts? Advice? Recipes? [more inside]
Can you get by with just an Apple Watch these days?
Could you use an Apple Watch as your only device (phone calls, text messages, directions, email) now that they have GPS and cellular? Articles seem to say you can and you can’t. Anyone have one and do this?
Best revenge movies (or stories)
That’s what I’m looking for. I’ve already got Kill Bill (meh) and Old Boy (fuckin’ good) on the list. Special double bonus points if the characters have some depth, or if it’s a lady (or ladies) getting that revenge, especially if it is like...an extended, deliberate revenge campaign. I’m in a mood.
Get at me, vengeful MeFites!
Your strategies for following US midterm results, please...
UK-based MeFite here. If I want to get the most comprehensive midterm results coverage with reaction and informed commentary from both right and left, which combination of channels / sites should I be flicking through in my tabs? [more inside]
Things to think about
As soon as I start going to sleep (or waking up) my brain starts planning and ruminating on work stuff. I would like to give my brain something else to play with. I have plenty of external distractions but would like to gather suggestions of visualizations, thoughts etc that are basically mental fidget spinners. [more inside]
What do contractors know about my walls that I don't?
My house was built in 1950. It's a disaster every time I try to mount anything on a wall. Contractors come in and do it just fine. What am I missing? [more inside]
Please recommend me a digester/compost bin that produces compost fast
So... I've got a bog standard compost bin outside (a round one about 1m high and about 0.5m wide), but I've already filled it up in about six months (mainly with food waste [no meat or dairy], some grass cutting and some rodent bedding waste) and the stuff at the bottom is still only half to three quarters done. [more inside]
Childhood Book Filter
I’m looking for the title of a late 70s middle school library book! My school was in the Ohio Valley. It was a hardback book with a light/soft pink cover (no dust jacket), something about famous or notable women in history. It was a proper book, if that makes sense - not an oversized book, not a paperback. It wasn’t new. I feel like I remember Pocahontas, Madame Curie, Amelia Earhart, maybe Joan of Arc? - there were LOTS of others. Short chapters about their lives, might have had “women” in the title. There was a companion volume for “men” (blue cover, no dust jacket) that I never read. I checked it out of the library about 30 times - any suggestions?
Autonomous Cat Toys
I'm looking for some new cat toys. My ideal cat toy, for this use case, would be autonomous (turning on at random or specified intervals, or programmable) and would plug in so I don't have to constantly replace the batteries. I understand this may be difficult to find so things that are NEAR my ideal, but not ideal are okay ... but plug-in AND programmable/autonomous would be PERFECT. Ideas? Links? [more inside]
What kind of lamp do I need?
I’m interested in getting a grow light for a potted citrus tree I have that needs supplemental light when I bring it indoors. [more inside]
How to deal
How do you deal with a partner who has responsive desire? I’m tired of being the only one who intitiates. [more inside]
How do I get rid of the Microsoft Edge browser?
I bought a new computer with Windows 10, which unfortunately comes with the horrible Microsoft Edge browser. I think I've tried everything to uninstall or disable the browser but nothing works. Did anyone have the same problem? Did you manage to get rid of the browser somehow? I would like to install Chrome but Windows won't let me - everytime I try to install a different browser, it says I already have Microsoft Edge, "the safer, faster browser for Windows 10", and there's no "Install anyway" option. Help?
Is there a free "small appliance" repair database on the web?
A few months back I read an article about a movement in the US where people could bring their broken appliances into a shop and hobbyists would help fix them up (for free). My Google-Fu is failing me, is there a resource online that lists these places? [more inside]
Science books for the fantasy writer
Looking for books that cover science topics- geology, sociology, physics, whatever- in a way that's useful for fantasy writers' worldbuilding. [more inside]
Best Meditation For OCD
There are so many different meditations and apps out there. There was a link on Kelly Brogan's site with a meditation specifically for OCD, but the link is down. Does anyone know of a type of meditation that is particularly helpful for OCD?
Thank you in advance [more inside]
What is the value of political leaflets?
Do the people who send me political leaflets in the mail and hang them on my door actually think they will influence me? Have there been studies showing that they are effective? They go straight into my recycling bin without a glance. Thanks.
What is this houseplant?
My friend has this gorgeous houseplant but has no idea what it's called, she got it at a flea market. [more inside]
Wacom Intuous not recognized on MacBook Pro
I have an older Wacom Intuos tablet that is only sometimes recognized by my MacBook Pro. I think it's a connection problem, but I'm not sure. Has anyone else experienced this and found a solution? Or, found any information about the problem at all? [more inside]
Burnt Sienna Santa is making a list and dissidents will be punished
How dangerous is it to criticize a political regime using your real name? [more inside]
Pot-ential gift
For Christmas my mother-in-law is generously getting us a matching pot and pan set. We currently use a mishmash of terrible pots we hate where the lids don’t match, and we aren’t up to date on pot and pan technology so we don’t know what to tell her to get us. We like cooking, we like pots. We have a gas stove. What’s a great pot and pan set? We are In the USA.
Thoroughly explore the neighborhood: is there an app for that?
I'd like to to exhaustively explore some neighborhoods by walking down every street. I could print out a map and mark my progress by hand, but are there any iOS apps or other tools that could more effectively facilitate this? [more inside]
Non fiction nature books for 8 year old.
My niece is interested in crystals, minerals, animals and natural phenomena (the stranger the better). Could I get some recommendations for books (not nat geo for kids, she already has a subscription) that would be age appropriate? [more inside]
Are you a camel?
Is it normal to not pee first thing in the morning? Are you like this? If so, please explain! [more inside]
I’m 43. I had a stroke. I have questions.
My stroke did not affect me physically. The aphasia is manageable. But I’m unable to sustain high-level planning, attention, and step-building processes beyond an hour or so. I have to spend most of the day napping. Whether I will be able to go back to work is a question. My doctors are hopeful, but there’s no guarantees. [more inside]
Artists, how do you make peace with your day job?
I have to move from self-employment to a regular day job and I am having trouble dealing with it emotionally. [more inside]
November 3
rent vs buy
I am sick and tired of landlords but not sure I am ready to jump to home ownership. What is my next move? [more inside]
Family Ick
My cousin said creepy sexual things to me (then denied it), now we have to go to a funeral together. How do I get through this without punching him, making it awkward, or upsetting family members? [more inside]
A tattoo of a tattoo from Moby Dick
What might a tattoo of the narrator's tattoo of the whale's dimensions from Moby Dick might look like?! [more inside]
Driving one way from the U.S. to Mexico
I've got a) a carload of stuff that I need to get from San Antonio, Texas to Merida, Yucatan and b) a yen to drive down the gulf coast of Mexico. The complication is that I don't have a car and I don't want to buy one. If this was in a single country I'd just do a one way rental. I'm looking for suggestions.
Remove clothing dye from bathtub?
I let some newish black clothing dry on my shower curtain rod, and they dripped dye on to the bathtub which has now left resistant black and blueish stains. Any tips on getting it out? [more inside]
Firefox Private Browsing vs. FF Facebook Container
Which is better for using Facebook? Firefox Private Browsing with Tracking Protection, or Firefox Facebook Container? Generally I want to prevent Facebook from tracking me as I browse on the web. [more inside]
Looking for VBAC-Friendly Doctors or Midwives in Manhattan
My wife delivered our first baby via unplanned cesarean, but would ideally like to deliver our second baby vaginally. We are looking for recommendations for VBAC-friendly doctors or midwives in Manhattan who take insurance. MeMail fine if preferred! Thanks in advance.
Fighting fascism and building a movement
I am terrified about where the Trump administration is leading us and I want to build, or join, a movement to support democracy in the USA, even if it's just a leafletting or letter-writing campaign I do with my friends. Even if the Democrats win in Congress I believe we're going to have to be hypervigilant about not letting the white supremacist authoritarians hold and keep power. And I have some ideas. [more inside]
Best website for an outlier to fnd congenial housemates&secure dwelling?
I want to search for reasonably priced humble secure housing, likely a room, in a context that will make it easy to meet people in my area. I'd like to search by age, interests, genders, 'household philosophy' and honesty, but Craigslist doesnt make it easy. Where would be a site that would let me, or you, get this task completed quickly? There are better things to spend your life doing. [more inside]
Phone Interviews 101
How can I improve my phone interview technique? Seeking tips and advice. [more inside]
PS3 in 2018
What are some PS3 games you'd recommend that hold up well in 2018? (Hold up well, in this sense, being more about the story/game world/ideas raised than graphics/etc.) [more inside]
Name that Native Plant Evangelist Entity!
I want to grow /propagate a bunch of baby plants native to my area (North Carolina piedmont) and then give them away (free!) at swap meets or to anyone what may want them. I'll also set up a website with info and links to existing resources about growing native plants. I need a name to go along with these efforts, but all my ideas are failing me. Help! [more inside]
save my flicker photos
how can i save a photo stream collage from the site?
i am afraid of losing it. if i just save thhe link, that is no guarantee they shut down tomorrow
Making an investment plan for my family
My wife and I have been pretty good savers, but have not really given much thought to what to do with that money. Now we have a son [!] and I'm starting to realize that might have been foolish. I'm looking to make a plan so that we can spend as much time together as possible, as soon as possible. We are in Canada. [more inside]
How to New Year’s Eve in Memphis
Ms. Matter and I are considering Memphis for New Year’s Eve. This thread has good recommendations for midsummer. What end-of-year recommendations do you have for events, restaurants, concerts, surprises?
Hot water heater and wiring
I just removed an old (rusted) 30-gallon electric water heater and put a new heater in its place. However, this new model has the electric connections on top rather than in the front, and the wire is about a foot too short. [more inside]
Help me with this iCloud/iPhoto problem?
Oh gosh, why does Apple make iCloud so confusing? Help, please. Many, many details under the fold. [more inside]
Swimming for upper body strength.
Mr. Terrier bought me a membership to our local YMCA, which features two great swimming pools. I’ve been going every day since!
Anyway, I’m wondering: I hatehatehate to lift weights or do other kinds of sweat-inducing exercise. Can’t swimming take the place of lifting weights? [more inside]
Friend feeling trapped by husband's traumatic brain injury
I've got a close friend who is in an unfortunate situation. Her husband had a traumatic brain injury about 5 years ago. As a result he is disabled and can't work. He has some physical limitations but the primary issue is cognitive. He can't concentrate for extended periods and his personality has changed for the worse. [more inside]
Dippable appetizer
My sister has a themed appetizer competition every Thanksgiving. This year's theme is dippable.
We need at least 2 but probably 3 dishes. One of which can be made by a 10 year old.
Evaluation is on taste and presentation.
Setting aside a County Court Judgement, England
I had a judgment made against me for a debt, which I didn't know about until 2 weeks before the bailiffs turned up. I have applied to have the judgment set aside and will find out in the coming week whether that application has been successful. It's a small sum (big enough) and I will pay up if my application isn't allowed. In the meantime I'm looking for evidence to support my application. Basically in 2010 I was sold a phone that stopped working, I've been looking for reviews of the phone but can't find the right search terms to turn up anything at all about this 8 year old phone or the contract it was sold under. Can anyone help me with search terms, or with making the argument that I was sold an item that was not fit for purpose? [more inside]
What sort of help does my Mom need?
My mom is four months out recovering from knee replacement surgery and it is not going well. Her main issues is that she is still in a lot of pain and has not attained full extension.She is discouraged and losing hope and I don't know how to help her. [more inside]
Loose skin worries
I'm a 57/F. Three years ago I lost 30 pounds and had a dismaying amount of loose wrinkled skin on my abdomen. [more inside]
November 2
PBS Animation to You Really Got a Hold On Me
Aunt is trying to remember an animation for kids to Smokey Robinson's You Really Got a Hold on Me. Please help. [more inside]
What do I do with a 25 pound box of haddock fillets?
Its a whole lot of fish. I'm not exactly sure why I bought this, but in my mind they would be packaged up into smaller units that I could defrost individually. But no. It's a 25 pound rectangle of fish fillets partly frozen together. What do I do with it? [more inside]
Paris after dark
I will be visiting Paris in early December for work. I'll be pretty busy during the days, but should have my evenings free. I've been to Paris before and have seen most of the major sights, but looking for recommendations for unique sights that may be best seen after dark. [more inside]
How can I handle anxiety about an upcoming performance evaluation?
I'm feeling anxious about an upcoming performance evaluation at work because of a bad experience in the past and not sure how best to handle things. [more inside]
Spanish language comics for a 7-year old English-speaking girl
I would like to get my daughter some Spanish-language comics. Ideally this would be in the form of a subscription, with a new comic arriving monthly. I don't want Marvel-style action, or anime. Something more quirky or silly, maybe with animals or funny characters. It could be original-to-Spanish or something translated from English. Any suggestions? [more inside]
Family, holidays, and the #MarriottStrike
My family wants me to stay with them at a hotel where the staff is on strike, over the Thanksgiving holiday. Complication: They already paid for my room, and it's non-refundable. [more inside]
Was hoping for a new iMac model... Now what?
It's time to replace my wonderful 2010 15" MacBook Pro. I don't necessarily need portability, so I have been biding my time waiting for a new iMac model. These were last updated in mid-2017. I was hoping that Apple would have announced new iMacs at their October 30 event ... but they didn't. They did update the Mini. Is that my best option? [more inside]
ERA: what is it for
I am trying to understand the ERA (Equal Rights Amendment) and neither the internet nor my feminist sisters are particularly edifying. Can someone please explain, in simple terms, the practical implications of how women's rights will be advanced if the ERA is adopted at the state and Federal level? [more inside]
Seeking San Juan recommendations
My husband and I just booked flights for a 6-night vacation in Puerto Rico in early March. Now we need to figure out the rest of the logistics. We are flying in and out of San Juan so will likely look for hotels there, but it seems like there are a few distinct areas to choose from. Any recommendations? [more inside]
Bringin' home the bakin'
Please help me figure out what to bake this xmas (I like to plan early), given the following caveats -- mostly logistical, not dietary. [more inside]
What do I do with this drone?
This suddenly appeared in our fenced yard. I assume it flew in. Why couldn't it just fly back out? Any ideas about how to return it to its owner?
We are considering a move to Valencia Spain anyone have a comment?
We are a couple in our mid 60's and very young and happening at heart and body. We are tired of the US and its crummy politics and high cost of real estate and would like to move to Spain or Italy in two years. We both will still like to work, I am a chef and he is a builder, we can speak a little Spanish and would learn more of course. He is from Holland so we can legally move there. Anyone have any experience with moving to a foreign country as an older person and what it is like to make friends, fit into a new culture and learn a new way of life? [more inside]
US citizen abroad: best way to support democracy before the midterms?
I live in the UK & I've sent in my absentee ballot & have donated to various organizations & campaigns, but what -- if anything -- else can I do in these last few days from abroad to try & mobilize the vote/support non-Republican candidates to win? Do any of the texting-voters sites work with international phone numbers, or... ?
Risk management Christmas
My brother has asked for "Any book on decision making in high risk, complex environments (economics, military, emergency room...)" for Christmas.
He works in the outdoor/wilderness rescue/medicine/firstresponder field, so stuff geared to that would be cool.
He's looking for non-fiction, non-narrative sciencey sorts of books.
Assume I'm looking for like a 400-level book, not a 101 sort of book.
Any suggestions? I want to get him THE BEST.
Smooth feet without a trip to the ER?
I've been using a homemade scrub (literally olive oil + coarse salt) to tame the calluses on my feet (along with a pumice stone). I'm really happy with the results but my routine seems more hazardous/clunky than necessary. [more inside]
How do I summon a passion for marketing?
I’m great at applying myself to tasks that have definite answers or solutions. I’m great at applying myself to tasks that are creative and expressive, where the right answer is a matter of taste. But sales/marketing falls somewhere in the middle in a very stressful way. [more inside]
Communist memoirs sought
Recommend me memoirs by communists. I will also accept memoirs by socialists and by genuinely radical activists associated with other political movements. [more inside]
My hair hasn't been the same since I dyed
A couple months ago, I dyed my hair with a different color and brand than usual. My hair has been wrecked since then--my hair is limp and staticky and I lost my curl. I have two questions--how do I repair it? And would it be a bad idea to color it in this state (with different brand)? Here's a before/after pic. [more inside]
Time change -> Early Riser capable of working out
Help me harness the power of this weekend's time change to become an early riser! And bonus, help me do a 7-minute workout first thing in the morning. Need best practices for (1) using the change back to standard time to consistently wake up earlier and (2) working out first thing in the morning. [more inside]
Help me get my photos off of Flickr
With the news that Flickr is ending free accounts, I'd like to move my thousands of photos off the site before they disappear. I know Get Bulkr is frequently recommended; are there other options? (Much of the advice I've found is now outdated or appears to have been deprecated...)
Wedding Guest Seeks Blue Dazzler
I'm attending a wedding in one month and I need a dress. In blue. That fits my persnickety list of requirements. I also hate clothes shopping - help? [more inside]
Creating a Sharepoint site
I'd like to create a site on my company's Sharepoint account. The option to "Add Site" creates a link to [companyname].sharepoint.com/sites/RoadCrew. One of the IT guys told me the last time I created a site to do so in such a way that the link would be [companyname].sharepoint.com/RoadCrew. He said it would help maintain the integrity of our Sharepoint infrastructure. It had to do with permissions and such. That IT guy isn't around today. Any idea how I would go about creating the site his way?
Daycare has bedbugs
Daycare provider (in home) informed us she got bit, was confirmed as a bedbug by the property manager. Daycare provider was told there is no infestation. My child has been cosleeping in that room at times. I have not noticed any bites on him. She keeps the diaper bag in a different part of the house. What do I need to do or be worried about or watch for here? [more inside]
Looking for a recent urban fantasy short story collection.
Within the last couple of months I read a review of a collection that included a story of this woman who's gramma(?) had a suitcase(?) that she claimed had a fairy kingdom in it. I read some summaries of other stories in the book but other than thinking "that sounds great" I can't remember any details, though I am pretty sure the author was a woman. Any leads? Thanks!
Regular £ to $ payments please
I need to send $700 dollars to an American, every month. I'm in the UK. I am very forgetful and if I have to do the thing manually I *will* forget and it will be a stress. Please advise me on the best way to set this up. I would like to get a better exchange rate if at all possible, since the money is considerable, but if it comes to it I would rather pay slightly more and have a proper recurring payment. Among the options for setting up a recurring payment, I would like the cheapest. [more inside]
Dealing with rejection: socially awkward online friend edition
Long-term Friend A lives in the US; I live in the UK. We have a mutual friend (Friend B) who also lives in the UK. Friend A is coming to visit Friend B next month and hasn't told me or offered to meet up with me at all. How do I deal with this (potential) rejection? More details under the cut. [more inside]
November 1
Nonprofit radio station gets income from a commercially owned station?
I know non profits can have for profits arms that provide some funding. That depends a lot on how much Unrelated Business Income the IRS is willing to tolerate. [more inside]
Great sheets for sweaty sleepers
Assuming I'm willing to throw money at the issue, what sheets are best for sweaty sleepers? A brand that is on my podcasts, or what? Bonus, do wool pads work for reducing sweat?
Which city is best for starting a career/family/life these days?
Vancouver BC, Montreal, Seattle, Portland... or somewhere else? [more inside]
how many bedbugs = infestation?
How paranoid should I be about moving to a new place, some months after spotting a couple of bedbugs, with no sightings or evidence found since? Details inside. [more inside]
How can I close phantom credit card accounts on my credit report?
I recently pulled my US credit report. There's an American Express credit card listed that was opened in 2001 and is allegedly still open and in good standing. I vaguely remember opening an Amex around that time but I don't have it any more and I'm sure I closed it years ago. I don't have the full number (only the partial number listed on the credit report) - is there a way I can get Amex to close this account? Or is it likely just an error on the part of the credit report agency?
"The Favourite" dance move
How can I winterize my bathroom vanity?
My main bathroom is an addition that has three exterior walls. The whole bathroom is pretty poorly insulated, but the worst is the area of my vanity, which is in the corner against two of the exterior walls. How can I stop my poor toes from getting a blast of cold air whenever I stand at the sink? [more inside]
Soul-stirring books
Looking for soul stirring books, preferably with dark witchy protagonists [more inside]
How to prepare for wildfire smoke in Seattle?
I'm moving to Seattle soon and after this past summer, I'm concerned about air quality issues due to wildfires. What can I do to prepare myself? [more inside]
What cars should I be looking at?
I'm in the market to purchase a new car in the next six months. My whole life long I've had a string of (relatively) inexpensive, practical cars like a Honda Civic and a Honda Fit. I think it might be time to spend a bit more money to be a bit more comfortable. What should I be looking at? [more inside]
New supervisor, intense workload. Recommendations to manage?
My job has undergone some major changes this year, and I've been getting a more intense workload. I need recommendations on how to manage this, stand my ground, and work through it. [more inside]
Every day driver frying pan/skillet - Tri ply Vs carbon steel?
Now I'm I'm my mid '30s and starting to feel like I might one day start to approach being a proper grown-up, I've been gradually replacing my craptastic mix of either ancient teflon or pound-shop (dollar store, if you're a US-ian) quality stainless cookware.
Opinions online vary wildly so looking for a recommendation, with personal experience if possible.
Details below etc. [more inside]
Any hope of retrieving this vanished file?
I was almost done with a piece of writing that is urgently due to my editor when my computer froze. After the restart the file just...vanished. Ideas/advice? [more inside]
Artificial insemination of cows: arm in rectum - common?
The method of artificially inseminating cows in which the technician inserts their non-dominant arm into a cow's rectum in order to locate and manipulate the cervix through the rectum wall: is this common practice? That is, is this done with every single cow requiring artificial insemination? Or is the process generally automated (i.e. not requiring a human arm inside a cow's rectum)?
Banish the Towel Buildup
My husband’s towels have an awful waxy type buildup that I can’t seem to get rid of. Help?! I can’t keep buying new towels. [more inside]
Can I use very ripe pears in pie?
My neighbor gave me some gorgeous, ripe pears she picked at an orchard in the Yakima Valley. I would like to make pie, but it looks like many recipes call for underripe, firm, or medium firm pears for pie. The internet warns that ripe pears might become mush in pie. [more inside]
Cheapest place to buy women's construction/farm clothes in NYC?
I'll be heading to work on a farm for a week or two, starting next week. I have a few things that would work, but am realizing it'll be fairly cold-ish, so I'll need more functional and warm stuff. I'm looking for a cheap brick & mortar store in NYC. [more inside]
How to respond to request to give money to rich boss?
How should employees respond to a suggestion to pool together money for a superior? [more inside]
How to handle late/mismanaged payments for freelance work
I do freelance interpreting for a non-profit. Freelancers send in invoices and are supposed to get paid on the 15th of every month (for the previous month's hours). IN the last few months the checks are routinely late by about two weeks. There's no good explanation given. In the most recent paycheck, part of my payment was missing and when I asked I was told it would be in NEXT month's payment. The project managers handle the invoices and also give out interpreting assignments. I am afraid if I make a big stink by going to the director, the project managers won't continue to give me assignments. The work is very part time now because I am in school/internship full-time, but I like it, it keeps my skills fresh, and the extra money helps. Ideas on how to handle this?
Recruiters asking for my passport number. Why?
I've long been aware - and long had a workaround - for recruiting agencies asking for the last four digits of my SSN. (They want a "unique identifier" for each applicant, is how they explain it.) Today, a second recruiter asked me for standard information before submitting me for a job, but they also asked for my passport number. [more inside]
Consequences for accidentally poisoning our dogs
My 11 year old left her Halloween candy where the dogs could get it. The dogs ate the candy. What are the appropriate consequences for my child? [more inside]
Dog poop etiquette and logistics
Hello! I have some questions about when I’m walking my dog, Gatsby. Of course I pick up his poop, but sometimes it’s... softer than would be ideal. What’s the proper etiquette regarding cleaning it up? [more inside]
Teaching Certification in WA after lapse in MD
Years ago, in 1990, I was certified to teach grades 5-12 Social Studies in Maryland. Moving, different jobs in different states I let my certification lapse. I would like to substitute teach, potentially next year, and it looks like they want certified teachers. What do I need to do? [more inside]
Pop song within past 8 years female singer, repeats the line "courtesan"
What it says on the tin. What song is this? I thought it was a Lordes song but apparently not. Feel like I am going crazy.
"We are fucked in the following specific ways but probably no fuckeder"
I belong to a vulnerable far-left community where a lot of misinformation flies around about government policy. I'd like to do a better job of refuting that misinformation — and in particular, of saying "Here's why that policy change doesn't go as far as you fear it does." Among other things, I'm looking for media that will help teach me to do that on specific issues. My usual diet of NPR, the NYT, and occasional Snopes aren't really helping, for reasons discussed inside. [more inside]
omg pls vote k thx bye
I'll have some time in the days leading up to the election on Tuesday, November 6th to do some last-minute text message "canvassing" for Democrats. Which campaigns have easy-to-use platforms for texting voters? [more inside]
Couch cushion - can I repair it without sewing?
I have an old sectional fabric covered couch. Zippers on a couple of the seat cushions have broken and the cushions can no longer be zipped closed. Without replacing the zippers, is there anything I can do to keep these cushions closed ? I thought about using velcro, but I can’t overlap the fabric enough for that to work. I am hoping to get another year or so out of this couch which lives in the family room and is used regularly by large dogs and people. Thanks in advance!
Is there anything I can do about fumes coming into my apartment?
Renovations are being done downstairs, and I’ve experienced headaches and asthma symptoms because of it. I’m not sure what steps to take (if any). [more inside]
Give my modular ranch some character
My husband and I want to throw money at our house’s exterior to give it some character. Difficulty: modular ranch. Budget: $50,000. This is the House in question. I’d also like the architecture to fit better into our environment, which is coastal Maine. [more inside]
Partner: My Crush Wants to Speak with You About Their Intentions
My partner has a crush on someone, which has been difficult for me. Recently my partner revealed to the subject of her crush the difficulty I've been having with the situation, and now they've offered to speak with me about their intentions. Should I have this conversation with them? [more inside]