So many names, so little time

August 19, 2008 2:22 PM

My recently married friend is having some doubts about her name change. If you or your spouse did a name change after you got married, could you offer some insights about her situation?

Here's her question in full:

I recently got married and just requested a new social security card with my married name. Now I'm having second thoughts about the way I chose to change it. I have four names - I added my husband's last name as my last name, and moved my maiden name to a second middle name. So, on my social security card, I'm now FirstName MiddleName MaidenName NewLastName. I'm worried about having two middle names, and concerned about problems it might cause on my driver's license, passport, etc. Professionally, I plan to go by FirstName MaidenName NewLastName. Socially, I plan to go by plan to go by FirstName NewLastName. (Kids, should they arrive, will be KidName NewLastName.) I'm trying to decide if I should simplify things and request another name change with Social Security after 30 days, making my maiden name my only middle name. I'm wondering if anyone has experience with two middle names, and if this has been an issue at all. I'd rather not chuck my original middle, as I like it, but I don't want to make things unnecessarily difficult for myself in the future.

If you have questions, I can follow up, or you can email her at [e-mail]. Thanks!

posted by donnagirl to Law & Government (13 answers total)

I have had two middle names my whole life (as have my three siblings) and it has presented exactly zero problems ever.

Often you will have to pick a single middle initial, but that's the extent of it that I've seen.
posted by toomuchpete at 2:30 PM on August 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

One of my good friends has something like this - only she thinks of it as FirstName MiddleName LastName OtherLastName. It comes across something like "Elizabeth Ann Crossley Peters" (though that's not it). The only problems she seems to experience are figuring out whether her records have been put under Crossley or Peters, and there seems to be no rhyme or reason as to that. It's important to her to keep the "Crossley" prominent because she has published under both maiden and married names.
posted by Miko at 2:33 PM on August 19, 2008

Best answer: I did exactly what your friend did as far as adding the name, using the same three names she does professionally and the other two socially. Exactly.

I wouldn't change a thing. The only time I EVER ran into a problem was when British Airways got confused as to whether I was filed under "F" or "C." I explained it, a manager nodded and waved me on.

I'd just suggest that, even though you kept your middle name, you use the maiden name initial as your "official" middle initial when asked for one. Makes it easier and if you ever run into someone who gets puzzled, it's simple to explain it to them.

I don't use the middle name I was born with very much (like, at all), but I like still having it, and am glad I didn't have to give it up.
posted by GaelFC at 2:43 PM on August 19, 2008

I went from First Middle Maiden to First Maiden Married, and dropped Middle. I dropped it mostly because I didn't much like my middle name. If you like your middle name, I say keep it, just make sure that people/forms/the government know that your Last Name = Married. You have two middle names, that's all.

If you want to use First Maiden Married professionally, I would still consider Married to be your last name. I think if you're pretty consistent on that, it will help.

Changing your name is never easy or flawless, but if you like all four names it shouldn't be too much trouble to keep them all.
posted by jay dee bee at 2:45 PM on August 19, 2008

I did the same thing as well, except professionally, I am FirstName MiddleName MaidenName. I've had no problems.
posted by leahwrenn at 2:46 PM on August 19, 2008

My wife had a similar situation. She had (has) two middle names.

When we married she initially changed her surname to mine, then she missed having it, so she went to a non-hyphenated compound surname, i.e. FirstName/ HerSurname HisSurname.

She dropped using her middle names altogether for documentation purposes, so while her childhood passport shows 4 names (FirstName/ Middle1 Middle2/ HerSurname) her current one shows three (FirstName/ HerSurname HisSurname). There never seemed to be any issues to dropping middle names from ID (I too have dropped using my middle name anywhere besides my passport & birth certificate).

She had to change her driver's license twice and didn't get any hassle about it. As long as she produced her marriage certificate each time no one seemed to have any issue with her changing to either my surname or a compound surname.

Hope that helps somehow.
posted by GuyZero at 2:48 PM on August 19, 2008

I;'ve two middle names since a couple of days after birth - long story. 99% of the time, two middle names causes no issues at all. In very rare cases, usually junk mail, they drop my 2nd middle initial on post. Which is handy, because it's a good way to spot junk mail. Sometimes I lose one or both middle names for convenience when dealing with very minor name things - email, for example.

I've never encountered any issues in any relation with government departments or form filling with two middle names - it's not that uncommon, really.

She'll encounter far more odd issues with changing her last name, with existing relationships with companies than she ever will from from having two middle names.
posted by ArkhanJG at 3:01 PM on August 19, 2008

Best answer: My sister the real estate paralegal would want me to tell you that if your friend buys a house, every single piece of documentation pertaining to the purchase should use the exact same version of your friend's name. It sounds like ideally here, that would be just Firstname Lastname.
posted by gnomeloaf at 3:32 PM on August 19, 2008

Though we're not American, but Canadian, my brother has had two middle names his whole life and never had a problem.

Well, other than that his two middle names were Harry Joseph, and I used to mock him viciously for that. But then, he called me nothing but 'brat' for years at a time, so he gets what he deserves.
posted by jacquilynne at 3:33 PM on August 19, 2008

I'm Firstname maidenname newname professionally, have all four names on my drivers license, go by firstname newname personally (except to my dad who calls me firstname middlename newname). Never had a problem, at all, except that occasionally someone hypphenates my name if they write it down from my driver's license.

I never changed my social security card -- the government (and payroll) think I'm Firstname middlename maidenname.
posted by dpx.mfx at 3:40 PM on August 19, 2008

When I got married, I (a man) hyphenated and went from

First Middle Middle Last

To

First Middle Middle Wife'sLast-Last

No problem with two middle names although some computer systems can't cope. That just means that they use the first middle name or first middle initial.
posted by idb at 3:50 PM on August 19, 2008

Response by poster: Hey, thanks to everyone! It was really helpful for my friend just to hear there were other people like her out there, and she's feeling a lot less stressed about her decision. Y'all are awesome!
posted by donnagirl at 6:45 AM on August 20, 2008

It's not terribly uncommon to use two middle initials. I work for an organization which publishes academic journals, so I see how thousands of people arrange their names.

Something like Mary A.N. O'Brien is not as uncommon as you might think. (Once I saw this convention used for the first time, I started seeing it everywhere. Note that it's also common to omit the space between the two initials.) It's even more common in predominately Catholic countries where some people sometimes elect to use their confirmation name as a second middle name, or just are given multiple middle names at birth.
posted by desuetude at 10:21 AM on August 20, 2008