Help me deal with my sweetie's depression!
July 3, 2008 6:39 AM   Subscribe

Suggestions for books etc for someone living with a romantic partner who has severe depression and ADD?

My sweetie has been suffering from debilitating depression. At its worst, a few months ago, it resulted in my sweetie getting fired due to "job abandonment" because the depression was bad enough that even getting to work, or even getting out of bed, was too much to bear. Besides the depression, she has also been diagnosed with ADD. She's seeing a therapist and working with a meds-doc on finding the optimal psychopharmaceutical cocktail. So, professionals are on the case and things are improving. But it's a *really* long haul. (Which makes sense -- it took almost two years of worsening depression to hit bottom and start on the way up, so I expect it'll take a while for things to get back to "normal.") And I'm also seeing a therapist (both for this and for my own reasons).

Enough context, however. A question for mefites who've lived with someone with really severe depression: Are there any books that helped you in dealing with having a depressed partner? Other things?

For non-public replies, I've set up an email account as

Thank you, hive mind!
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (4 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Heather Armstrong has been very public about her battles with depression. She really put what I was going through into words that I could not form myself. It's not really aimed at helping you specifically, but it might clear up some lingering questions you have. This is her husband's take on the situation. You might find some answers there.

I'll point my partner in the direction of this question. He's put up with me for years and still wants to marry me, so he might have something helpful to add.
posted by giraffe at 7:14 AM on July 3, 2008

I don't have any recommendations for books about depression, but I can heartily recommend anything written by Edward Hallowell (the Distraction series).
posted by cooker girl at 7:15 AM on July 3, 2008

Aww honey. I've been in your sweetie's shoes. Nearly wrecked our relationship. Hugs to the both of you.

I'll point my boy to this thread, but there are plenty of resources, including books, at the Black Dog Institute.
posted by divabat at 7:17 AM on July 3, 2008

Sorry to hear abut your troubles.

I've been in a somewhat similar situation, albeit not as extreme as yours. I've found that there's no magic cure, it's a case of doing what helps. And making sure you help yourself as well.

Company and support are two of the most important things you can do. Books can help you to do that. There was a "Big Issue" issue that had a number of articles by people suffering depression, it helped me to understand more about it.

Also, you might see the "Black Dog" referred to. While it is a good analogy at a simple level, I've found it's best not to try to look at things through analogies. Because nothing is really like depression except depression.

Sorry I don't have to many book recommendations. I have looked at some, but haven't really found anything I would recommend.
All the best.
posted by cofie at 3:03 PM on July 3, 2008

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