Moving to Fall in Love

August 10, 2004 4:10 PM

I am 30 years old and have been living in beautiful Bermuda for 4 years. I work as a computer analyst, have a good amount of money saved, and I am entirely single. Problem is, I am now ready to settle down, but a small island like this doesn't lend itself very well to meeting compatible single women who aren't tourists. If I was in love, I would stay in Bermuda as long as immigration laws would let me. I have been thinking about moving somewhere in which I can sustain my outstanding lifestyle ( think laid back, friendly people, beautiful landscape, great money ), while at the sametime increasing the likelihood of meeting / getting to know that special someone ( think hot, smart, down-to-earth, worldly ). I consider the world my oyster. I like small towns and big cities alike. Where should I consider living?
posted by jasondigitized to Travel & Transportation (22 answers total)

I know a guy who used to live in Bermuda doing system admin and coding, he now lives in Canada, works remotely now and then for maintenance purposes, and thanks to the currency conversion makes a metric shitload of cash doing it.

My only question is why he decided to leave a sub-tropical paradise and come live in Atlantic Canada :)
posted by Space Coyote at 4:22 PM on August 10, 2004

Uhm, I dunno, but can I have your job when you leave?
posted by cmonkey at 4:54 PM on August 10, 2004

I. Hate. You.

Not really, of course. Just goes to show that there's more to life than kicking back on the beach. Thing is, I don't think you'll be able to find a place that meets all of your criteria. If such a place existed, we'd all be living there!
posted by aladfar at 5:07 PM on August 10, 2004

Scarville, Iowa
posted by angry modem at 5:23 PM on August 10, 2004

Americans, we can have our cake... and eat it too!
posted by geoff. at 5:28 PM on August 10, 2004

I kinda laughed when I saw the post. A girlfriend of mine is working in Bermuda. She once told us if we wanted husbands we should show up, as there were more than a few guys in your position. It surprised me to hear it, but she said most women there were either tourists or gold-diggers.

It doesn't sound like you have to leave the island, necessarily. "Bermuda has scheduled commercial flights to and is less than two hours from Boston's Logan (BOS); Charlotte/Douglas, NC; New York (JFK); NYC Newark (EWR); New York - La Guardia (LGA); Philadelphia, PA (PHL) and Washington DC (DCA)...."

Spend the weekends wife-hunting on the mainland, is what I'm saying, cause you'll have a hard time finding somewhere that meets all your requirements.
posted by Salmonberry at 5:49 PM on August 10, 2004

I think Key West has a fairly high ratio of locals to tourists.
posted by PrinceValium at 6:24 PM on August 10, 2004

Keep your property in bermuda, and buy a home on the mainland. Get into the scene, if you are in great physical shape excellent but if not hit a gym for 6 months. You'll do great.

And I. Hate. You. Too.
posted by Keyser Soze at 7:00 PM on August 10, 2004

Can't recommend Hawaii highly enough--tremendous weather, really great people, lots of local folks and other long-term residents (and it's also where I happened to meet my wife, myself).

Cost of living is probably a bit higher than Bermuda, but since the economy's cooled off from the 90s craziness, it's definitely livable. The labor market's not huge, so it'd be great to be able to line up a gig before you head out, but Honolulu's a legitimate city, with a good demand for tech skills--even if you just went there to see what's available, you'd probably do OK.

There are a lot of places further afield, like Thailand, but your odds of finding a real job there are a lot less certain. Still, if you've got some cushion, now's definitely the time to throw some caution to the wind. What about just heading out one direction or the other around the world, and seeing what happens? Maybe you find a great gig, maybe you find a great place to hang out for a year or two, maybe you meet the right gal? End up married and living in Australia, for all you know?
posted by LairBob at 7:10 PM on August 10, 2004

Singapore. It'd fit the bill perfectly.
posted by LukeyBoy at 8:25 PM on August 10, 2004

Or, if assertive women are your bag, pick your favorite major city in Texas.

Really? Women in Texas are assertive, and but the pace of life is generally laid-back and the economy is good? I'm in sort-of the same place as jasondigitized, so I'm interested in the answers as well.
posted by gd779 at 9:49 PM on August 10, 2004

San Francisco has a notoriously high ratio of straight single women to straight single men.
posted by msacheson at 10:54 PM on August 10, 2004

it really depends on what you're looking for in San Francisco. Although there seem to be a ton of successful, single, and smart women in the 25ish-35ish age bracket.

it's just not a college town, youngins.

oh, but san francisco is absolutely lovely. I'd recommend for absolutely anyone to live there for a spell, particularly if you like good weather (that's right, good weather -- fog in the summer, sparse rain in the winter: never hotter than 80 degrees, and usually around 60-70. Just like things should be.)
posted by fishfucker at 12:36 AM on August 11, 2004

Isn't SF also horribly expensive to live in? Taxes, cost of living, etc.?
posted by madman at 1:13 AM on August 11, 2004

yes.
posted by fishfucker at 3:58 AM on August 11, 2004

do you speak spanish (or portuguese)? even if not, you could learn - come to s america... it's not fair (and can cut both ways), but a gringo here is often considered "attractive" for various reasons (mainly class/financial-based). chile traditionally has terrible working hours, but, again, as a gringo you can perhaps negotiate around that, especially if you're self employed (and self-employment in chile is very easy - in fact, it's the "default" method of employment). one possible drawback is that the gender roles are typically more traditional than the norm in europe (and, i guess, n america), but from the wording of your post maybe that's not a problem either (no criticism intended - i guess it was a difficult post to phrase anyway :o)
posted by andrew cooke at 6:06 AM on August 11, 2004

As a resident of a major city in Texas I have got to say only move here if you really really like sprawl and all that it implies. Dallas, for example, has a couple of expensive New Urbanist neighborhoods but is basically solid sprawl; some of it's just older than others. And then there's the weather and smog. I would consider moving here from Bermuda or Hawaii a suicidally depressing downgrade. On the other hand, it's cheaper than SF!
posted by furiousthought at 7:09 AM on August 11, 2004

Isn't SF also horribly expensive to live in?

Anywhere worth living is horribly expensive.
posted by Mars Saxman at 8:25 AM on August 11, 2004

Wait right there. I'm flying down tonight. ;)
posted by ScarletSpectrum at 8:48 AM on August 11, 2004

I second the "keep your property and job in bermuda and head to the mainland for the occasional weekend" thing. If you can make friends or get in touch with someone on the mainland and get invited to parties where you can meet women, even better.

This may sound odd, but I and others have had incredible success with online dating sites. It could allow you to pre-screen and set up dates. Guys I know who work for airlines or used to work for airlines and got the "fly standby for free" benefit always seemed to floor women when they said, "I'll fly in for the weekend to see you."
posted by SpecialK at 9:12 AM on August 11, 2004

Really? Women in Texas are assertive, and but the pace of life is generally laid-back and the economy is good?
Never dated "my mother" until I moved here. Texas woman are great - the test is if they have healthy multiple friendships.
posted by thomcatspike at 10:45 AM on August 11, 2004

Texas women...
posted by thomcatspike at 10:46 AM on August 11, 2004