Help me make a portable gin and tonic
May 27, 2008 1:54 AM   Subscribe

I'm planning on drinking during my university classes this summer. My beverage of choice is gin and tonic, and I'm looking for a way to prepare a few hours' worth without it being absolutely vile...

College is boring, so I'm planning on filling a SIGG water bottle with a watered down gin and tonic (I was thinking 3 parts tonic, 1 part gin) mixture to get me through the long, hot summer.

Basically, what I'm looking for is a way to make sure this concoction remains as palatable as possible. The water bottle can keep liquids cold for quite a while, and my classes only span a few hours, so I'm not too concerned about keeping it cool... I'm looking for any suggestions to ensure success, or warnings about why this plan might be disastrous.

Is there any reason why I shouldn't keep gin and tonic mixed together for a few hours? Should I throw a lime wedge in the bottle, or might some benefit be conferred by using lime juice? Any suggestions on what gin would work best for this? (I prefer Tanqueray or Beefeater, but am really not sophisticated enough to tell the difference.)

Thanks for any helpful tips and hints!
posted by incomple to Food & Drink (50 answers total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: If you'd like to ask your actual question next week without the ridiculously provocative framing, that would probably be okay. -- cortex

 
Are your classes really so terribly boring that you must drink for their duration? Though I really don't suggest bringing alcohol into your classes (many universities have explicit policies against the consumption of alcohol within the classroom setting; you may want to check your university's handbook before actually doing this so that you're fully aware of the consequences if you're caught in the act), I will suggest the perfect summer gin: Hendrick's. It has a subtle bouquet (the gin itself is infused with roses and cucumbers), and is simply glorious poured over ice with tonic water and a few slices of cucumber. It goes marvelously well with lime, too. I've never had a more refreshing cocktail in my life. Perfect for hot summer nights, though maybe not so for tedious classes.
posted by numinous at 2:20 AM on May 27, 2008 [2 favorites]


....or warnings about why this plan might be disastrous.

Uh, doesn't your University have some sort of policy concerning the consumption of alcohol in class? I bet they do.

This is not a good idea. And it's pretty tacky.

Also gin is not a good choice. It has a very distinguishable smell that can be picked up easily by those passing by or sitting next to you and then you'll get busted. Seriously, I think you can possibly drink some tea and wait a few hours before getting your drink on. If not, you have more important problems than this.
posted by chillmost at 2:21 AM on May 27, 2008 [3 favorites]


Also kinda wondering why you are ponying up a fortune to attend university, only to drink your way through class.

Take the summer off.
posted by mazienh at 2:35 AM on May 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Um, did anyone see the tags?

OP, have you read through the alcohol posts on the green? There are people farther down the road than you who wish they weren't there. You don't need gin or anything else to survive school or whatever life brings you - you are fully capable of facing anything. It's also okay to talk to a therapist about these things - nothing wrong with getting help. We all need help sometimes.

I wish you the best of luck and know you'll come out just fine. Take care of yourself. Treat yourself the way you would a significant other. That's some of the best advice I've gotten. Would you want to get your SO drunk all the time, knowing the health risks? Then don't do it to yourself. Good luck.
posted by frumious bandersnatch at 2:35 AM on May 27, 2008


Apparently chillmost is the resident nanny/mother of AskMe.

That said, I tend to agree that this is sort of a silly idea. Everyone knows that academics and depressants aren't where it's at, it's academics and stimulants. If you really want to become the master of tedium you need to learn to love it for its own sake--get your hands on some adderall or get a big thermos and drink heaps of coffee all day long. Instead of putting yourself to sleep with gin, learn to love what might otherwise bore you to tears!
posted by nonmerci at 2:38 AM on May 27, 2008


Oh, and come on you guys--even if I didn't know the OP (full disclaimer: ex-boyfriend), this is so clearly a joke post that it's astonishing we are taking it seriously. Alcoholics don't make AskMe posts with "cryforhelp" helpfully noted in the tags! Actually, NO ONE does!
posted by nonmerci at 2:40 AM on May 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


First, to answer the question without being judgmental: depending on how blatant you can be (how large the classroom/lecture hall is, I guess), I would keep the tonic in a thermos that can be tightly sealed and only open it to mix the tonic with the gin, which I would keep in a regular plastic soda bottle or something. I would squeeze some fresh lime juice directly into the gin before putting it in the plastic bottle, at home. I would then mix the two as required, in class, keeping the tonic in the thermos tightly sealed to ensure carbonation.

That said, I wouldn't actually do this, except as a lark sometime. I did it, with scotch, once or twice way back in my own university days, in fact. Still, though. Do as I say, not as I did. Drinking is for drinkin' time, studying is for study time. Keep the two well-separated, and you will live to be healthy, wealthy and wise.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:41 AM on May 27, 2008


might some benefit be conferred by using lime juice?

Yes. 2 oz/6 cl gin + juice of 1/2 lime, shaken together vigorously with lots of ice. Strain into a 14 oz chimney glass 2/3 full of crushed ice, top with tonic and finish by snapping a twist of fresh lime over the surface to express its oils. Serve with a straw. Or, you know, adjust quantities to suit your thermos.

And yes, shaking your gin vigorously will impart a somewhat milky appearance. It will, however, taste much better. I would just use Seagrams, as I don't think Hendrick's stands up to tonic and lime well enough to make it worthwhile. Disclaimer: I do not care for Hendrick's under any circumstances, being more of a Plymouth man.

You also want to drink the thing fairly immediately, when it's still laughing at you, as Harry Craddock would have it. I doubt that your SIGG will retain enough of the tonic's effervescence, or sufficiently prevent the lime's oxidation, to keep your G&T chuckling for hours on end. Then again, you are kidding, right?
posted by mumkin at 2:55 AM on May 27, 2008


Two years ago you were worried about spending the college application fee. You must have really struck it rich since. If college is so boring to you, spend your tuition to help some underprivileged kid get the chance to learn, rather than pissing away your opportunity. You will feel a lot better for it than sitting in class drunk.
posted by netbros at 2:59 AM on May 27, 2008


Are your classes really so terribly boring that you must drink for their duration?

Yes.

Also kinda wondering why you are ponying up a fortune to attend university, only to drink your way through class.

I'm an English major.

Uh, doesn't your University have some sort of policy concerning the consumption of alcohol in class? I bet they do.

Thanks, dad.

Anyway, stavrosthewonderchicken, I agree that that would be the best course of action. It's work intensive, though, and mixing the drink in class is a wee conspicuous.

And thanks for noting that the "alcoholism" and "cryforhelp" tags are a joke, nonmerci, hough I'm sure someone will come along any minute to point out that if I was trying to be funny I failed (because there's nothing funny about alcoholism or drinking in class, and also, stand up straight).

But to make things clear, the post wasn't a joke. I really want to find out how to sip a tasty gin and tonic throughout my classes this summer.
posted by incomple at 3:00 AM on May 27, 2008


Yes, netbros, I have struck it rich since 2006. I can afford both an education at an accredited public university and gin, and really see no need to choose between the two.

And thank you, mumkin, for the fantastic advice.
posted by incomple at 3:06 AM on May 27, 2008


or warnings about why this plan might be disastrous.

Other students may find it distracting. While you may find it boring, there are others in the class, so out of respect for them, perhaps avoid doing this.

Much like this post has a good chance of winding up in MetaTalk, remember that it's not always about you and that are times to put the group ahead of your own selfish wants/desires.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:14 AM on May 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


A gin and tonic will taste vile if you don't finish it within an hour of mixing; flat tonic is no good. If you must carry your booze with you throughout the day, acquire a taste for neat scotch, bourbon, or brandy; that stuff actually tastes better when warm.
posted by Daily Alice at 3:15 AM on May 27, 2008


Seconding Nonmerci - sake is a much more stimulating option for drinking in class.
posted by jimbaud at 3:24 AM on May 27, 2008


This is exactly the sort of engineering challenge I needed to perk me up today.

I think you'd have to give up on the carbonation if you wanted to make a portable G&T-ish drink that could pass for some non-alcoholic beverage. You could keep a decent amount of fizz in it by just making the drink in a tonic bottle that's had an appropriate amount of liquid poured out of it, but keeping that bottle cold would be a challenge. Personally, I think I'd prefer cold flat G&T from a Thermos bottle over warm fizzy G&T from a tonic-water bottle. Your mileage may vary.

It occurs to me, however, that you could make an excellent fizzy-G&T dispenser out of a common (well, among civilised people, anyway) soda syphon. Fill the syphon to the line with the beverage, crack a CO2 bulb into it, and your pressurised high-fizz dispenser is ready.

The larger glass type of syphon with the metal mesh around the bottle would also probably stay cold for a decent length of time, if chilled in the fridge overnight.
posted by dansdata at 3:24 AM on May 27, 2008


True enough, Brandon Blatcher. That is the only real argument against it, as far as I'm concerned.

I agree with the "flat tonic" sentiment, Daily Alice, though I'm hoping the airtight seal on the water bottle will retain most of the carbonation, therefore obviating the need to switch to any of the smellier, browner alcohols. Or I may just change gears, and decide to invent the thermos gimlet.

I have a feeling I'll be inventing a lot of stupid shit this summer.
posted by incomple at 3:28 AM on May 27, 2008


Dude, I'm telling you--stimulants are the way to go on this one. If you get a little tipsy you'll just be more obnoxious and talkative than usual, but if you're high on stimulants, you'll be obnoxious and talkative in that smart, pretentious way--the kind where you start an argument and represent its myriad sides all within the confines of one hand-raise. That said, if these are big lecture-hall type classes I guess it doesn't matter. But I think you'd be more liable to put yourself to sleep.

Also, good to know the "sadness" tag is still serious. ;)

Though I will say the joke tags are kind of in poor taste, though knowing you I imagine it's more of a self-deprecating thing ("I am an alcoholic because I want to drink during class") as opposed to something juvenile/mean-spirited ("LOL Alcoholics!").

Lasly, I've been high in class before, another kind of depressant with obviously far more exciting affects, and I didn't think it was very fun. That could have been coupled with the feelings of paranoia and the fact that it was kind of a small class, but I don't know, I don't think it's worth it, personally. Much rather bring a 24 oz. black coffee in with me.

Oh oh! Okay, so in high school I knew people that brought alcohol in to school and drank it in front of teachers. The key is a bottle of some liquid, like iced tea or orange juice, that is filled with that SAME liquid and then the alcohol of choice. Skip this fancy gin-and-tonic shit, go clandestine. I'd also suggest vodka because it's harder to detect unless someone grabs your drink and takes a serious whiff.
posted by nonmerci at 3:29 AM on May 27, 2008


This is the way to go. Keep your cans in a cooling device, do you know what I mean if I say esky? And then just use a cooler, um a outside wrapping sometimes made of styrofoam - you call it a sleeve right? Yeah, cold cans (not quite frozen) and a sleeve. Psssshhhht! And say, oh, but it's just soda.

'Sif.
posted by b33j at 3:40 AM on May 27, 2008


Where have you been all my life, dansdata? $62.99 isn't bad at all, though I feel this would be more appropriate for a picnic than a classroom setting. I also agree that I would prefer a cold and flat beverage over a warm and fizzy one.

nonmerci: If you get a little tipsy you'll just be more obnoxious and talkative than usual, but if you're high on stimulants, you'll be obnoxious and talkative in that smart, pretentious way

I don't know, I've often been told that I "perform" best with two drinks under my belt. I'm much more emotionally logical and empathetic, I'm definitely more opinionated and humorous (which is a good thing, in my case, as I can be a bit of a cold fish), and I generally exhibit a much more sunny personality. I'm like a flower that only blooms under the haze of alcohol. Also, after dealing with a tricky dexedrine habit, I really hate stimulants (so much that I've even cut my caffeine intake 100% for the past year or so).

And as far as being clandestine, I'm not really looking to fool anyone. I just don't want to be like "Hey, look, I'm the guy drinking in class!" This is from my university's manual: The unlawful possession, use or distribution of alcohol by students or employees on University/college property or as part of any University/college activities is prohibited. As I'm well past the legal drinking age, I'm totally in the clear.
posted by incomple at 3:45 AM on May 27, 2008


Gin is pretty smelly, really. If you want inconspicuous alcohol in class, mix vodka with whatever you want - orange juice is a pretty good choice, as it doesn't have any carbonation to lose and should stand up well to a few hours kept cold. I also knew people who did this in high school.

Also, to reduce people hating you, I would fix the tags and explain why you feel the need to attend class but not to actually pay attention.
posted by jacalata at 3:46 AM on May 27, 2008


Amazing, b33j! But drinking gin and tonic out of a can seems like the basis for a dare, rather than a real solution. All the same, I'm curious...
posted by incomple at 3:47 AM on May 27, 2008


I don't think that university guideline implies that it's "unlawful use" in the sense that you need to be of age. I think the "unlawful" stops at possession, because why would employees be included? How many under-21 employees are there at a university? The wording is a little ambiguous but I wouldn't use that as proof that this isn't illegal. Something tells me it is.

To address jacalata, I don't think drinking a weak mixed drink over the course of several hours negates the abillity to pay attention. The OP isn't asking 'How can I get wasted in this shitty class I hate?' but rather 'How can I escape boredom by enjoying a drink on the side?'

Let's not make the intellectually dishonest argument that all students are fixed on each class with the fullness of their being, or that if they are, they aren't using some kind of drug to help them achieve this.
posted by nonmerci at 3:52 AM on May 27, 2008


You're right, jacalata. I removed some of the more ambiguous tags, while leaving those that were of some utility (and those that were obviously joking). I probably should explain why I feel the need to attend class but not to actually pay attention, but really don't feel like I have to. I don't feel like this question warrants any sort of moral evaluation on the part of the peanut gallery.

The judgmental comments here have actually shocked me—You'd think I asked how to commit academic fraud or something. The fact that some of the most positive and supportive comments have come from my fucking ex-girlfriend is very telling.
posted by incomple at 3:55 AM on May 27, 2008


3:1 is way too strong for a gin and tonic. For some strange reason a weakish G&T is fine (40ml with ice, topped up with tonic in a standard highball glass), neat gin is fantastic, strong G&T is bleugh. Also, definitely lemon rather than lime. Not a big fan of Tom Collins variations here. Bombay Sapphire is a cracking gin, but a little wasted in a G&T - take it neat if you're going to that.

Don't forget - gin makes a man mean. Cheers!
posted by bifter at 3:59 AM on May 27, 2008


Is it too strong, bifter? I thought the ratio is normally 2 parts gin, 3 parts tonic, or even 50/50. I'll have to experiment, I think, as I'm looking for a pretty weak gin and tonic, one that I can sip casually throughout class without exhibiting any noticeable effects (it'll help cut down on the gin odor, too).

Anyway, I agree on Bombay Sapphire, but I'm lumping it into the same category as Hendrick's for my purposes: Too expensive to waste on what will inevitably be a mediocre drink.
posted by incomple at 4:05 AM on May 27, 2008


The judgmental comments here have actually shocked me—You'd think I asked how to commit academic fraud or something.

Perhaps that's an indication of how offensive this act would be to others? I realize you might not care what others think, but do you really want to offend your fellow English majors and/or your teacher?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:15 AM on May 27, 2008


The fact that some of the most positive and supportive comments have come from my fucking ex-girlfriend is very telling.

Very telling indeed, but perhaps not of what you think. You sure she has your best interests in mind there, champ?
posted by dersins at 4:27 AM on May 27, 2008


I attended college as an adult student, paid my own way through, and started school with a keen understanding of the cubicle hell that school was saving me from. I was in school because I wanted to learn. If I had been in one of your summer classes, working my ass off to do a 40-hour work week and also attend college while you were sitting in class getting your drink on, it would have pissed me off something awful. I probably wouldn't have turned you in, but I would have found it the behavior of an overpriveleged, immature kid who didn't know how good he/she had it.

Maybe that's not a warning of why this plan might be disastrous, but it is a warning that people might think you're a jerk -- although this thread, thus far, might have tipped you off to that.
posted by jennyjenny at 4:30 AM on May 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm a little surprised by the judgements as well. I had some wine stashed in the fire hose cupboard when I was an undergrad (now that I'm a post grad, I just keep a bottle of port on the desk). It was great for those isolated afternoons when I needed to work for a few hours- a glass of wine would keep me happily at the desk.

As for the practicalities of your situation, how about buying a six pack of those little (~375mL) bottles of tonic water? They just sell them at the supermarket here. It's pricer than buying a larger bottle, but the advantage is that you wont be wasting it or letting it go flat. Bring one or two of those, and your gin, and you're laughing.

I don't think drinking a G&T is offensive to either your classmates or your teacher. When I had the wine out, my lecturer asked for a glass and I was happy to oblige. This is assuming, of course, that you're just imbibing in a glass or two along the way, not polishing off half a bottle each lecture.
posted by twirlypen at 4:32 AM on May 27, 2008


Following up from Dandata's suggestion, ISI also make a thermo whip, its intended for making whipper cream using N20 cartridges, but their C20 cartridges also fit, apparently*. According to the manufacturers claims these can keep the contents cold for up to 8 hours.

It's not going to be in anyway inconspicuous however, and you might have problems getting it not a glass/receptacle with the pressure.

*I've only ever used mine with N20, but people on a molecualr gastronomy list I subscribe to have used theirs to carbonate fruit.
posted by tallus at 4:33 AM on May 27, 2008


Very telling indeed, but perhaps not of what you think. You sure she has your best interests in mind there, champ?
posted by dersins at 1:27 PM on May 27 [+] [!]


Uhh, call me crazy, but I think the OP has sufficient mental faculties to indulge in a little alcohol every now and again without the excessive hand-wringing that's run rampant in this thread. But you're right, it's probably all a conspiracy to ensure he doesn't achieve his B.A. That'll show him for all of those annoying fights we had over three years ago!
posted by nonmerci at 4:38 AM on May 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Also, jennyjenny--are you aware of how most English classes work? No offense to the OP, but he goes to a pretty run-of-the-mill school in addition to working full-time in NYC. This isn't a question of overprivilege, and I'll just hearken back to the same argument I made previously: are you honestly telling me that anyone who uses a substance to get through academia is "overprivileged" and "immature"? Are you really making a statement that fatuous? The OP isn't asking the best way to get drunk in class--we're talking about one weak drink over the course of several hours.

This thread is ridiculous. I'm glad the most self-righteous of MeFites have crawled out of the woodwork to post their indignation at an adult's potential consumption of alcohol.
posted by nonmerci at 4:42 AM on May 27, 2008


jennyjenny, I, too, am an adult student (as much as being in one's mid-20s counts as adulthood) who is paying his own way through school. I was raised by two working class parents in an industry-blighted crime-ridden urban hellhole. I am anything but an "overprivileged kid."

But for the moment, let's ignore that your offensive, insulting assumptions (even if they are absolutely and totally incorrect). How would someone quietly drinking out of a water bottle affect your ability to learn, or to merely enjoy a class? Do you think I'm going to be showing up to class in a toga, itching to play beer pong, challenging people to leg wrestling contests?

What repercussions could this decision possibly have on my fellow students?
posted by incomple at 4:44 AM on May 27, 2008


This is great; I'm so glad to have a nice new batch of recipes for mind-numbing drinks to help me weather the chore of sex with my S.O. (He found college "boring" too).
posted by skyper at 5:00 AM on May 27, 2008


Wow, skyper. My post was just kind of gloomy in an immature way, but your comment is actually bleak. Well done!
posted by incomple at 5:02 AM on May 27, 2008 [2 favorites]


warnings about why this plan might be disastrous

Do you plan to do a lot of talking in class? If so, this is possibly a very inconsiderate plan. I used to work with a woman who drank g&t all day at work. Her breath was so awful that I couldn't stand being near her. In a conference room setting, she didn't even have to speak, just her breath from breathing made the entire meeting intolerable. Alcohol on the breath is one thing, but g&thas a distinctive odor that makes it downright vile. I don't know if that was due to the g or the t, or just the quantity of g&t, but ick. If you are in smaller classes and plan to be a frequent participant in discussion, you might be as big a distraction as some guy with rancid, permeating BO.

This same co-worker (she was actually a VP) could handle her alcohol and was a long-time drinker, but one random day she puked all over the reception area. It was revolting, and a year later, the reception area still had a slight alcohol puke odor. Make sure this doesn't happen to you.
posted by necessitas at 5:15 AM on May 27, 2008 [2 favorites]


Should I throw a lime wedge in the bottle...

Just to address this little detail: definitely go with the lime wedge. The essential oils in the skin are part of what you want to add to your drink (although no matter what you do this will not be the best G&T ever after sitting around for a few hours). If you have a break at some time you might consider a discrete cache of bartending supplies somewhere so that you can mix a fresh one every now and then.

As for all the nannies in the thread, incomple is almost certainly not the first college student to attend class under the influence of some mind altering substance. It just appears he is trying to do it with a little panache.
posted by TedW at 5:18 AM on May 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


necessitas, this is definitely one of my biggest concerns. I really don't want to draw any attention to myself. It's unfortunate that I loathe the taste of vodka, because that would be the way to go. But hopefully, given that this will be quite watered down, I won't be much smellier than I would've been already. Time will tell.
posted by incomple at 5:32 AM on May 27, 2008


When I was in undergrad I would celebrate any momentous occasion with the hauling of a Nalgene bottle filled with rum and coke. Hell, I even had a special Nalgene dedicated to the consumption of alcohol while in class. Oh, and my birthday? Don't even get me started talking about the blatant bringing-of-champagne-bottle-to-class.

If I were you, I'd invest in some of these: Ice Stick Molds which would allow a small amount of water into your drink, but offer the ability to extend the chilling time without the hassle of shoving ice cubes into the mouth of the Sigg.

Also, interesting to note, if you are a drinking smoker, it is very hard to not think of excuses to skip outside for a cigarette every 20-30 minutes while sipping on a fine, fine bevvy, so bring lots of chewing gum, or tell your professor you have a bladder problem.
posted by banannafish at 5:32 AM on May 27, 2008


The Sigg bottle is fine for water, but if you fill it with any sticky sugary substance, it will be a real bitch to clean. You'd be better off with a Nalgene bottle or something else with a wider neck. As several people said before, gin is very smelly – you'll totally get busted that way. Better to stick with vodka. Tonic will go flat and nasty when it gets warm. I'd start by filling the bottle with as many ice cubes that will fit. Next add vodka, fresh lemon or lime juice (at least three or four) and simple syrup. Throw in at least one of the squeezed lemon/limes. This is important, as it will impart some of the 'bite' that you are looking for from the tonic. Experiment with the proportions and enjoy.
posted by Etaoin Shrdlu at 5:38 AM on May 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Three parts tonic is a lot of tonic and it's got a good number of calories, do you worry about consuming that many during the day? Plus it's not going to taste all that great if it's that watered down. Why not have a decent g&t after class. Or before class. But then, if your class is held in one of those giant lecture halls and not a small classroom, may as well not water your drink down.

And yeah, English department and booze go hand in hand. It could be worse, at my school, philosophy and weed also went together for a fair number of people.

Then again.. reading your comment to the effect that you feel you always do better after two drinks and become a more agreeable person, that is something to be concerned about, especially if you previously had a dex habit. Is that the real reason you are going to drink during the day? Is this a path you want to go down? What happens if you find it goes really well and then you're having two drinks to get through a work day, or another class, or simply to feel like you're acting normal? Just saying.
posted by citron at 5:50 AM on May 27, 2008


hey incomple,

I know how effing lousy the sumer classes are there. (Hell, I know how awful the regular session classes can be). They stretch for a long amount of time and the rooms can be miserable. But please, man, bring another activity. I know you sober and tipsy, and really, the sober version is plenty sociable, funny, and opinionated.

I don't know of people that were punished for discretely drinking at our school, but I do know people who have had to drop out. If you insist on doing this, (and really, I think it'd be much preferable to do it before class or right after with some other poor soul that just sat through the same class) please make sure it's an alcohol that doesn't reek and that you don't get too near to the prof. You don't want to have to get dragged into a discussion with them about why you feel the need to liquor yourself up for their lessons.
posted by piratebowling at 5:51 AM on May 27, 2008


I worried about that myself, citron, but I don't generally have an addictive personality. I find it difficult to form casual, everyday habits, much less pricey, sexy addictions. I don't drink very much otherwise, so this isn't a vehicle for some lurking problem—Merely a way to alleviate the boredom of my summer classes, which run 3x longer as a normal class.

But I think you're right, piratebowling. I think everyone is right. I guess I'll just have to drink after class like everyone else. Thank you for the kind words about my sober self.
posted by incomple at 6:00 AM on May 27, 2008


I....errrrr....some guy I know......had much success years ago with good ol' vodka and OJ in a similar situation. I used to be revolted by vodka, until I bought some of moderately high quality (or I guess you could always use a brita pitcher and cheap stuff for the same effect) and mixed with high quality OJ. It is a fantastic summer drink, and no horrible (and distinctive) smell. Hooray!

Also, contrary to the moralizing that is going on in this thread, I think you could make a reasonable argument that inappropriate drinking is (at least for some) intertwined--and perhaps vitally so--with being a writer. It certainly has been part of the lives of many of the most important writers of our time: F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Herman Melville, Jack London, Truman Capote, William Faulkner, Edgar Allen Poe, and Sinclair Lewis, to name a few, were all well known for their love of the sauce. Shoot, according to this book, Pulitzer Prize winner Anne Sexton was well known for carrying a thermos of martinis with her at all times.

So, in conclusion, I'm not arguing that drinking in class is the smartest thing to do, and it probably will do nothing positive for the quality of your writing. However, should you choose to do so, you will certainly not be the first. Just stay away from booze like bourbon, scotch, and gin, as the distinctive odor is more likely to bother your classmates. Once you win that first Pulitzer, however, feel free to drink whatever you want.
posted by jtfowl0 at 6:03 AM on May 27, 2008


gin & tonic smells like alcohol. I would go for something that doesn't smell like you're an alchi- special fruit punches with alcohol that you'd have at parties always seem to do the trick.

Also, Sobe does a terrific job of covering smells.
posted by jmd82 at 6:14 AM on May 27, 2008


I agree with everyone who says gin has too distinct an odor to make it a good choice here. I think vodka and OJ would be perfect. No matter what drink you choose, you should keep it cold with something that won't water the drink down as it melts. So either reusuable ice cubes, or make ice out of some part of your drink and use that (e.g. make OJ ice cubes for your screwdriver).
posted by robinpME at 6:17 AM on May 27, 2008


If it hadn't been for the fact I had to drive to my college, I'm sure I would have drank in class too at some point.

That said for clandestine drinking I liked vodka in Gatorade. Not the most mature taste, but the Gatorade seemed to do a good job covering up some of the vodka's smell. Just drink some and top off with vodka.

There were guys in my high school who would bring mouthwash to class and drink it in an attempt to get drunk. Ugh.
posted by yellowlightman at 6:18 AM on May 27, 2008


Do you really think you're a better person after two drinks?

Anyway, if you can't handle vodka, and want something interesting, try very cold chartreuse with some non-melting ice cubes (i.e. plastic). It's a much more interesting drink than gin and will be less obviously identifiable on your breath/person. You can mix it with tonic, but go easy on the tonic & avoid citrus. You can also try whisky or irish creme in coffee--yum, and a bit more class-appropriate.

How would someone quietly drinking out of a water bottle affect your ability to learn, or to merely enjoy a class?...What repercussions could this decision possibly have on my fellow students?

I do know what English classes are like, and I do know what three-plus hour classes are like, as I took them throughout undergrad. I have encountered students who had been drinking/smoking up/coking in/around class, and they were never as subtle as they thought they were.

The professors noticed, it pissed them off and distracted them. I noticed. As much as I don't want to hear some blowhard talk about the pit in Titus, I REALLY don't want to hear some tipsy blowhard talk about the pit in Titus. It's insulting to me that I should have to sit through, and pretend to respect, commentary and "participation" from someone who obviously does not give a shit about me or my time. Whether or not this applies to your particular plans, I don't know.
posted by sondrialiac at 6:20 AM on May 27, 2008


Not to be snarky or anything, but maybe quit school and do something that would be more interesting and engaging for you - fun job, long vacation, et. You'd save money on tuition AND booze. That way, you could booze it up on the weekends with your friends and really enjoy it. It seems like a waste of time and money if you find college so boring. And maybe a smidge disrespectful to your professors and classmates. Not entirely related to your initial question, but my two (if a bit snarky) cents.

However, to add to jtfow10, Anne Sexton was an unbelievable poet whose prose is spectacular and she was quite the lush, so in the long run, this might be a good move. She did commit suicide, though. Oh well.
posted by cachondeo45 at 6:20 AM on May 27, 2008


Oh, and if you really need to escape boredom, try writing something interesting in longhand. It looks like you're taking notes. Just try to pay some attention to the thread of the class. I do poetry, but you could try something else.
posted by sondrialiac at 6:23 AM on May 27, 2008


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