A Savings Bond That Pays Off In Ameros Would Be Perfect, But What Else Is There?
February 23, 2008 4:16 PM   Subscribe

My friends just had their first baby. Hooray! I'd like to send a baby gift, but would like it to be thematically consistent with my shower gift. Naturally, there's a catch. I'll explain...

So, my friend is a half mile off the left/right political continuum, with regards to stuff like the Council for Foreign Relations, the Bilderbergs, the NAFTA Superhighway and the New World Order. As a result, for a shower gift I sent one of these, which I'd back up with sister bears from KBR and Halliburton, should there be logo merchandise of this sort available online. He was amused, I was amused, and it was probably the most thoroughly thought-out gift I gave in 2007.

Well, his wife brought the little girl into the world yesterday, and I'd like to try and find something to give them as a gift that is as much an acknowledgment of his political beliefs as it is useful and thoughtful.

In other words, is there a thoughtful gift in the $100 range (+/- $50) that I can give that's less snarky, more useful, and on the same theme as a Blackwater bear?

Some details:

They aren't really in need of anything traditionally given on this occasion, they aren't "green" or "carbon conscious" so environmentally friendly isn't the right theme, I'm a thousand miles away and can't deliver it personally, and they live fairly remotely so the options for services as opposed to goods are pretty limited.

Any thoughts?
posted by peacecorn to Shopping (10 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Best answer: Gold.
posted by probablysteve at 4:38 PM on February 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

Or, as a substitute for the real stuff, VGPMX.
posted by probablysteve at 4:46 PM on February 23, 2008

Do they make little faraday cages sized for baby so that the Illuminati can't get her with their orbital mind control satellites?

Maybe a little tinfoil (but baby safe) hat?
posted by Doctor Suarez at 6:07 PM on February 23, 2008

Not for the baby, but your friend should have a copy of Illuminati the card game. Seriously, he will find it hilarious if he's into this stuff at all.

About the baby gift -- if you can arrange to have food sent to them, I bet they will love it. Ditto maid service, anytime from 2 weeks from now to 6 months.

I usually send copy of The Poo Bomb to my friends with that sense of humor.

You could also send a little alien baby.
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:29 PM on February 23, 2008

Oops - missed your "remote, no services" disclaimer.

How about a set of onesies in various sizes with related slogans on them? I think a onesie that said "Gnome of Zurich" would be pretty rad. I'm surprised to find there isn't one readily available online, though. Maybe you could get some blanks and fabric paint?
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:37 PM on February 23, 2008

Response by poster: Actually, The Light Fantastic, gold is a terrific answer. I'm really not trying to be clever here, so legitimate suggestions like probablysteve's are better than high horse answers.

To be clear, I was going to send cash if I didn't get a great idea from this effort. I'm not that much of a jerk, so save it for another question where someone doesn't specifically state in the question that they're looking for a useful suggestion.
posted by peacecorn at 8:07 PM on February 23, 2008

Send an Amazon gift card. Its where I buy all our diapers. Better yet just send them a few couple of the big boxes of diapers. They cost about 43 bucks each. Just send a size 2. Depending on the size of the baby he/she may have already grown out of the NB(new born) and they usually don't stay in size 1 for long.

I would suggest you send Pampers. I have 3.6 girls and have tried all the major brands with each one. I find Pampers is the best followed by Luvs. Contrary to popular belief and marketing, Huggies in my opinion, is a distant 3rd.
posted by Roundball at 8:28 PM on February 23, 2008

ALthough it pains me to be of aid to anyone who finds KBR anything but loathsome, your friend really need more onesies than either you or they will believe. Same goes for pajamas. Babies get poop everywhere.
posted by Sara Anne at 8:45 PM on February 23, 2008

I took it from the post that the friend does find KBR loathsome. I think that's the intended joke. Maybe I'm misinterpreting?
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:30 PM on February 23, 2008

Nthing gold, a nestegg against inevitable global financial collapse. A $50 gold coin and $50 worth of onesies and sleepers would be awesome.

Diapers are, IMO (7 kids raised from infancy) a horrible baby gift unless you know the type of diaper the family prefers ahead of time. And even then, probably not, because those needs can change.
posted by Dreama at 5:36 AM on February 24, 2008

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