January 22, 2008 4:12 AM   Subscribe

Pot-smoking etiquette: when someone smokes you out, how long are you obligated to hang out with them?

I like to be alone with my thoughts and music when I smoke. I always feel pressure to stay and entertain the company responsible for my altered state. What's a good cue to mark my escape?
posted by Christ, what an asshole to Human Relations (17 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
1.5 sitcoms or when the chips are gone, whichever comes first. But for real, like 30-40 minutes.

When I smoked and wanted to leave I'd always casually mention I had to be somewhere at a certain time and leave when I wanted. But, I haven't smoked in years and had actually forgotten about this aspect of getting high. Man, I can't believe I'm getting old, bummer.
posted by milarepa at 4:29 AM on January 22, 2008

I think a lot of it depends on the situation. I understand your wish to be alone with your thoughts, I'm definitely the same way, but I've known the type who 1) smoke a lot of people out, 2) think of it as a social drug, and 3) would have ill feelings towards a person leaving shortly after getting high. I hate to say it, but there's no etiquette, it's all unique social dynamics. If there's nine or ten zoned out people in the room passing bowl after bowl, go in, take a hit or two, and make it clear that you're stopping in the hang out (not just to smoke) for twenty minutes on the way to something else. If it's a small group, it will be a lot more difficult, and I think better advice would be to learn how to negotiate your high in company. For instance if you're in a group of people playing video games, as I would so often find myself while high in college, just look at the screen like everyone else is, and let the pot-thoughts go. Learn to enjoy the high and understand your reactions to the social dynamic. Isn't that what it's all about? A little more self awareness perhaps? Just remember, and you probably know this, that the worst thing you can do is get paranoid about everyone else's perception of you. What a horrible waste of time.
posted by farishta at 5:00 AM on January 22, 2008

Sorry for coming off as so flippant, let me rephrase. If you like being alone after you smoke, why not just smoke alone in the first place?

To answer your question, though, at least 30 minutes. Otherwise you'll be that guy who smokes someone else's pot and immediately cuts out. Or, let them know beforehand that you're not going to stick around, so it won't seem weird if you leave abruptly.
posted by emd3737 at 5:02 AM on January 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

I'm going to echo emd3737 here, if you like been alone when your smoking, the best thing to do is smoke alone. Problem solved.

Beyond that though, it totally depends on your social situation - What one person sees as a friend going to get some much needed head space another person sees as some guy mooching off his weed and leaving.

The best solution among friends would be to hang out for a good while, and around the time your leaving ask if it's okay to have a smoke for the road so it's clear what your intentions are.
posted by paulfreeman at 6:14 AM on January 22, 2008

You don't need to "be entertaining", that's for certain. It's just rude to smoke and dip out, unless you're college roomies and it's a regular wake and bake or some such nonsense.

What's a good cue to mark my escape?

Stand up, say bye, thanks, hug/handshake and/or wave/smile?

Well, do you tip prostitutes?

bulletproof lulz
posted by prostyle at 6:43 AM on January 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'll echo what the others have said about smoking alone. Is there a reason you can't get your own weed? Otherwise 30 to 40 minutes sounds reasonable, just make sure they don't start feeling like you're mooching their weed, or are only friends with them because they're holding. In other words, buy some weed and smoke them out sometimes; go over to their house, smoke them out for a while, then go off to do your own thing.
posted by Koko at 6:47 AM on January 22, 2008

Whenever I smoke alone, I prefer to be by myself.

Seriously, the whole point of smoking with people is to be sociable. Or find those rare friends who also like to sit quietly and listen to music and chill and get a headphone splitter box.
posted by fourcheesemac at 6:50 AM on January 22, 2008

Because otherwise, you are mooching. No way around it.
posted by fourcheesemac at 6:50 AM on January 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

I think the worst thing about this question is you're generally high when you are thinking about it, and said paranoia will make you think WAY too much about it. Anyway, that was my experience. I found I was better just smoking alone.
posted by iamck at 6:51 AM on January 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

Of course I am speaking in a purely hypothetical sense, trying to imagine myself in the situation of one of you young kids these days. But *as I recall* my college days, I think 30-40 mins is on the low side if you have to quantify it. Does it not depend on the quality of the smoking materials? I'd say, until the buzz subsides. But what would I know?
posted by fourcheesemac at 6:53 AM on January 22, 2008

I think 30-40 mins is on the low side if you have to quantify it. Does it not depend on the quality of the smoking materials?

Smoked duration plateaus at 15-30 and starts to trend down at 45, assuming a high tolerance.
posted by prostyle at 7:08 AM on January 22, 2008

nice link, prostyle, but they do say:
Erowid's effects information is a summary of data gathered from users, research, and other resources. This information is intended to describe the range of effects people report experiencing. Effects may vary dramatically from one person to another or one experience to another based on a variety of factors such as body chemistry, age, gender, physical health, dose, form of material, etc.
As I recall from my youth, the half life between "I can't move anyway" catatonia and "Whoa, hit rewind and play that last guitar solo again man!" and thence to "gotta split, dude" can vary from 5 minutes to well over a couple of hours, so "trending down" is relative to context.

Of course you could tell your friends "my THC level is now trending down, I must bid you adieu." Just make sure you have calculated time, distance, and weather conditions into the next leg of your journey in life.
posted by fourcheesemac at 7:36 AM on January 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

It really depends on whether these people are your friends and you reciprocate in kind regularly. Or if you are the sort of person who will smoke with them when they have pot and when you have it you feel you need to smoke alone to have whatever mystical experience you think it gives you. If it is the latter then you are a mooch, and you shouldn't even be wasting their pot, thats all their is too it. Obviously they view this activity differently from you which is fine, but if you are not comfortable with their rules dont play thier game. Also just because you are there doesnt mean you need to participate, there is nothing preventing you form zoning out.
posted by BobbyDigital at 7:45 AM on January 22, 2008

Perhaps if you are worried about leaving to quickly.... before smoking up you could just say something like: "I'd love to relax and enjoy for a minute, but I cant stay to long" (or something to that effect)

In all the situations I've ever been in like that.... as long as you are genuine and say something like "I really appreciate you guys smoking me up, but I have to _________ (jet to a friends house, go pickup a friend, wash my hair, something)"...

... in most cases I would hope the hosts will be understanding. Being smoked up is not about "how long you stay".. its about having a good time enjoying a smoke together. I've only rarely seen stoners get bent out of shape for me leaving to quickly, and that had nothing to do with the weed, and everything to do with the fact that they were just high strung personality types. (they did that in every situation, sober or not) Choose the people you hang out with wisely.
posted by jmnugent at 8:32 AM on January 22, 2008

If you don't like being around people when you're high, you should just buy your own weed and smoke out by yourself.
posted by Afroblanco at 9:27 AM on January 22, 2008

Just make sure to return the smoke favor now and then, or you're just mooching... :)
posted by anthill at 11:50 AM on January 22, 2008

Apparently I said something in my comment above that prostyle took as an insult, though I can't figure out quite why. None was intended. I was trying to be funny about the use of biochemistry to answer a social question.

But I do offer my sincere apologies for any insinuation about prostyle that I may have inadvertently made. I still can't figure out what it is, but whatever.

Now back to my Cheech and Chong youtube videos.
posted by fourcheesemac at 1:04 PM on January 22, 2008

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