All alone over the holidays
December 18, 2007 6:51 PM Subscribe
My family is off doing their own thing (my parents are off traveling in another part of the world and my sister is on vacation with her family), my friends are off home and I am all alone. What can I do to keep up my spirits over the holidays?
It's too late to make plans to visit my friends (airfare too expensive). I also don't have a big holiday budget so I can't do anything extravagant. I thought I would just road trip close by (I live in the bay area) and go camp somewhere but it's too cold for that. I'm all out of ideas.
I'm trying my best to avoid turning this into a pity party (and the weather this morning is certainly not helping)
It's weird being all alone for 3 weeks.
It's too late to make plans to visit my friends (airfare too expensive). I also don't have a big holiday budget so I can't do anything extravagant. I thought I would just road trip close by (I live in the bay area) and go camp somewhere but it's too cold for that. I'm all out of ideas.
I'm trying my best to avoid turning this into a pity party (and the weather this morning is certainly not helping)
It's weird being all alone for 3 weeks.
I would play a lot of video games and keep an eye out for a James Bond marathon on Spike (or whoever owns the catalog these days). Then on Christmas I would have Chinese food and go see a movie. But then, I'm Jewish and like video games and James Bond movies, so that's what I do pretty much every Christmas. If you still want to "do Christmas," this advice probably isn't very good, but if you're willing to try something else, you'll meet plenty of nice Jews at the Chinese restaurant.
posted by Partial Law at 7:07 PM on December 18, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by Partial Law at 7:07 PM on December 18, 2007 [1 favorite]
Anonymous doesn't say where they're located, which limits the suggestion options.... but really, loiseau and PL's suggestions actually sound very attractive to me. Christmas is a break from work, at least, and a break from friends and family isn't necessarily a bad thing.
posted by rokusan at 7:10 PM on December 18, 2007
posted by rokusan at 7:10 PM on December 18, 2007
Volunteer at a soup kitchen.
posted by rtha at 7:11 PM on December 18, 2007 [2 favorites]
posted by rtha at 7:11 PM on December 18, 2007 [2 favorites]
Anonymous mentions they live in the (san francisco) bay area, rokusan.
If you dont live in the city, come in using BART or whatever and explore, walking around in neighborhoods you havent explored before and sampling cheap but good food along the way. Bring a digital camera, find some unique hidden place in the city and then upload it to Guess Where SF.
Read those trashy (or good!) novels you've been wanting to read. Watch TV shows on openhulu. Write. Go to live shows or to any number of events happening daily.
posted by vacapinta at 7:19 PM on December 18, 2007
If you dont live in the city, come in using BART or whatever and explore, walking around in neighborhoods you havent explored before and sampling cheap but good food along the way. Bring a digital camera, find some unique hidden place in the city and then upload it to Guess Where SF.
Read those trashy (or good!) novels you've been wanting to read. Watch TV shows on openhulu. Write. Go to live shows or to any number of events happening daily.
posted by vacapinta at 7:19 PM on December 18, 2007
seconding rtha. call the local united way to see what's going on in your area. a local nursing home would also appreciate a visit, i'm sure.
alternatively (or additionally) it seems like a great time to get your shit together. i mean, scrub down your living space, clean out your closet and give old stuff to charity, splurge on a great haircut, organize your finances for tax time, go see all the random movies you want to see in the afternoons, teach yourself how to cook a few new dishes, and be a tourist in your own town--check out some places you've always wanted to go to.
posted by thinkingwoman at 7:25 PM on December 18, 2007 [1 favorite]
alternatively (or additionally) it seems like a great time to get your shit together. i mean, scrub down your living space, clean out your closet and give old stuff to charity, splurge on a great haircut, organize your finances for tax time, go see all the random movies you want to see in the afternoons, teach yourself how to cook a few new dishes, and be a tourist in your own town--check out some places you've always wanted to go to.
posted by thinkingwoman at 7:25 PM on December 18, 2007 [1 favorite]
rtha: Volunteer at a soup kitchen.
These sorts of places have a glut of volunteers with guilty consciences during the holidays. You'd be more helpful to volunteer year-round or at a time of year when there aren't a zillion people making up for their usual selfishness with their one solitary Christmas act of charity. (I know this sounds grinchy but it's true.)
posted by loiseau at 7:31 PM on December 18, 2007
These sorts of places have a glut of volunteers with guilty consciences during the holidays. You'd be more helpful to volunteer year-round or at a time of year when there aren't a zillion people making up for their usual selfishness with their one solitary Christmas act of charity. (I know this sounds grinchy but it's true.)
posted by loiseau at 7:31 PM on December 18, 2007
Email me if you like. I'll be up in Mendocino from the 23rd to the 26th, otherwise around.
Go to movies.
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 7:33 PM on December 18, 2007
Go to movies.
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 7:33 PM on December 18, 2007
You don't say where you are, so I can't give you any great local suggestions.
Check Meetin.org to see if there's anything fun going on with them. Most big cities have clusters with really, really cool people who just like to do stuff.
Take a long but do-able bike ride to the delightful Point Montara hostel, crash, and then ride back the next day.
If there's a Chinatown, go shopping! Chinatown doesn't stop for Christmas day.
And seriously, consider replying non-anonymously. Maybe you live near a Mefite who has room for a few orphans at their table for Christmas dinner.
Keep in mind that spending a miserable Christmas alone is a rite of passage. It happens. It doesn't mean that you're going to spend the rest of your life alone, and it doesn't mean that you're a loser. You'll live. Email's in profile, even, if you want more suggestions.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 7:35 PM on December 18, 2007
Check Meetin.org to see if there's anything fun going on with them. Most big cities have clusters with really, really cool people who just like to do stuff.
Take a long but do-able bike ride to the delightful Point Montara hostel, crash, and then ride back the next day.
If there's a Chinatown, go shopping! Chinatown doesn't stop for Christmas day.
And seriously, consider replying non-anonymously. Maybe you live near a Mefite who has room for a few orphans at their table for Christmas dinner.
Keep in mind that spending a miserable Christmas alone is a rite of passage. It happens. It doesn't mean that you're going to spend the rest of your life alone, and it doesn't mean that you're a loser. You'll live. Email's in profile, even, if you want more suggestions.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 7:35 PM on December 18, 2007
loiseau: I know, but from my reading it sounded like the poster was going to have several days or more to fill; lots of volunteers show up at soup kitchens on the day of the holiday, but there's a huge amount of prep and organizing and peeling of potatoes and packing of food boxes and whatnot that needs to happen in the days before.
I've spent some pretty nice Christmases alone - cooked myself some good meals, rented some good movies, gone on some good walks. It's more about attitude than what you actually do; if you can find a way to see the time as something to look forward to, you'll have a lovely, relaxed holiday no matter what you do.
re: "orphan dinner" as referenced by freshwater_pr0n - do it! Put yourself out there! We always have "orphans" at Thanksgiving, and I have been been on the receiving end as well. It's great! One of my favorite Christmases ever was spent with a collection of totally goofy, creative, wonderful poets, only two of whom I knew. It was wonderful.
posted by rtha at 8:01 PM on December 18, 2007
I've spent some pretty nice Christmases alone - cooked myself some good meals, rented some good movies, gone on some good walks. It's more about attitude than what you actually do; if you can find a way to see the time as something to look forward to, you'll have a lovely, relaxed holiday no matter what you do.
re: "orphan dinner" as referenced by freshwater_pr0n - do it! Put yourself out there! We always have "orphans" at Thanksgiving, and I have been been on the receiving end as well. It's great! One of my favorite Christmases ever was spent with a collection of totally goofy, creative, wonderful poets, only two of whom I knew. It was wonderful.
posted by rtha at 8:01 PM on December 18, 2007
There are quite a few MeFites in the Bay Area. Propose a meetup? Contact a few by MeMail and arrange something directly? Heck, contact me - I'll be in SF over the holidays and by myself for a good part of it.
posted by Quietgal at 8:11 PM on December 18, 2007
posted by Quietgal at 8:11 PM on December 18, 2007
I'll be spending Christmas alone as well, although I live in Japan where it is a huge evening of parties.
I plan to stay at home, clean out the apartment, reorganize things, and make some goals for the New Year. I want to get my papers in order.
Going to read some books I haven't had time for and write some things for myself. Planning on not doing Christmas-related activities unless I'm invited.
I welcome the isolation, but maybe that's just me. It's a rare time to get some good things done.
posted by fan_of_all_things_small at 8:40 PM on December 18, 2007
I plan to stay at home, clean out the apartment, reorganize things, and make some goals for the New Year. I want to get my papers in order.
Going to read some books I haven't had time for and write some things for myself. Planning on not doing Christmas-related activities unless I'm invited.
I welcome the isolation, but maybe that's just me. It's a rare time to get some good things done.
posted by fan_of_all_things_small at 8:40 PM on December 18, 2007
Good grief, what I'd give to have 3 weeks (THREE WEEKS!) on my own.
Hit up CraigsList or OKCupid for a "friends only" or whatever, even, and meet strangers.
Is there a franchise restaurant that you like? Try to hit up every one of them in your city and write a diary (or a blog) about it.
You didn't mention work; are you working or do you have 3 weeks of vacation (if you do, I hate your guts.)? If you're working, organize some work parties or events for anyone else who's still in town. If you're still in school, chances are that there are a bunch of other people in your classes who're in town - get to know them; academic contacts from years past (in the future) may turn out to be good business contacts.
Pick up a new skill - sign up for cooking classes, perhaps, and amaze your family and friends when they get back. If cooking's not your thing (or you're already a great cook), maybe poledancing classes.
Go get a makeover or change your hairstyle in a dramatic fashion.
As for volunteering; lots of guilty types do the soup kitchen thing. But what about the animals? The SPCA might need good volunteers to help take care of their animals while their regular volunteers are off somewhere else.
Candy-stripe! Lots of candy-stripers (er, people who volunteer at hospitals who go around and chat with the in-patients) are med-school wannabes. Lots of these kids want their Christmas holiday off (or are going home from uni). Go chat up lonely people who are stuck in hospital (contact your local hospital's volunteer department, they'll sort you out) - although this could be more depressing than cheering.
posted by porpoise at 9:37 PM on December 18, 2007
Hit up CraigsList or OKCupid for a "friends only" or whatever, even, and meet strangers.
Is there a franchise restaurant that you like? Try to hit up every one of them in your city and write a diary (or a blog) about it.
You didn't mention work; are you working or do you have 3 weeks of vacation (if you do, I hate your guts.)? If you're working, organize some work parties or events for anyone else who's still in town. If you're still in school, chances are that there are a bunch of other people in your classes who're in town - get to know them; academic contacts from years past (in the future) may turn out to be good business contacts.
Pick up a new skill - sign up for cooking classes, perhaps, and amaze your family and friends when they get back. If cooking's not your thing (or you're already a great cook), maybe poledancing classes.
Go get a makeover or change your hairstyle in a dramatic fashion.
As for volunteering; lots of guilty types do the soup kitchen thing. But what about the animals? The SPCA might need good volunteers to help take care of their animals while their regular volunteers are off somewhere else.
Candy-stripe! Lots of candy-stripers (er, people who volunteer at hospitals who go around and chat with the in-patients) are med-school wannabes. Lots of these kids want their Christmas holiday off (or are going home from uni). Go chat up lonely people who are stuck in hospital (contact your local hospital's volunteer department, they'll sort you out) - although this could be more depressing than cheering.
posted by porpoise at 9:37 PM on December 18, 2007
If you really have three weeks off with no work and obligations, you can probably go on a long road trip to see your friends. Three weeks is plenty of time to drive anywhere in the country. You get to travel, and you get to see your friends, no plane involved. I guess it could cost a lot in gas, so it may not be inside of your budget.
I assume you don't have a big project that you've always wanted to do, and that's why you're asking for suggestions, so here's some other shots in the dark:
- Drop in on a martial arts class. Judo and jiu-jitsu places usually welcome newcomers that want to try it out for the first time or observe the class. They tend to be open and inviting and do not pressure sell, especially the non-profit ones.
- Take up a MMOG, like World of Warcraft. Of course, this could have far-reaching consequences that go beyond the three weeks, but from what I've seen, it's a pretty good way to fill time.
- Pick up How to Cook Everything and make a new dish every day or every other day.
- Read through the Song of Ice and Fire series, starting with A Game of Thrones. Or any other long series of books that interests you, really.
- Download every episode of some TV series and watch them all.
posted by ignignokt at 11:29 PM on December 18, 2007
I assume you don't have a big project that you've always wanted to do, and that's why you're asking for suggestions, so here's some other shots in the dark:
- Drop in on a martial arts class. Judo and jiu-jitsu places usually welcome newcomers that want to try it out for the first time or observe the class. They tend to be open and inviting and do not pressure sell, especially the non-profit ones.
- Take up a MMOG, like World of Warcraft. Of course, this could have far-reaching consequences that go beyond the three weeks, but from what I've seen, it's a pretty good way to fill time.
- Pick up How to Cook Everything and make a new dish every day or every other day.
- Read through the Song of Ice and Fire series, starting with A Game of Thrones. Or any other long series of books that interests you, really.
- Download every episode of some TV series and watch them all.
posted by ignignokt at 11:29 PM on December 18, 2007
I'll be spending xmas alone in SF. I haven't really thought yet what I'll be doing. Feel free to PM me though.
posted by mahamandarava at 7:18 AM on December 19, 2007
posted by mahamandarava at 7:18 AM on December 19, 2007
dear anonymous:
if you're alone in sf on xmas, i would seriously recommend that you spend some time (and maybe even attend a service) at st. gregory's of nyssa. it's the most perfect church in the world, imho, and very suited for the crowd here on the green.
what's that, you say? you're a pagan? they LOVE pagans.
oh, it's been years since you even thought about god? you'd be surprised how many folks there will tell you something similar.
afraid to dance at some strange church? that's okay, they'll show you exactly what to do, and you'll be laughing and singing in no time. they may even tap into a keg donated from the anchor brewery across the way (but of course, no one will force you to drink).
seriously. think about it. (you know . . . it's crazy enough . . . it just might work!) because unless things have changed there quite a lot (and it doesn't look like they have), then NOBODY will try to proselytize, convert, baptize, or otherwise enforce any sort of spiritual dogma upon you. ixmas there is just a great spectacle to see and participate in, and you'll meet some very friendly folks there. they welcome everyone, seriously. truly ecumenical, and a great place to go when you're feeling a bit down.
how do i know? i took my wife there back when she was my fiancee. my wife, by the way, is still a dyed-in-the-wool buddhist, if such a person can be said to exist. she loved it. she misses it to this day.
. . . check it out . . . and maybe bring a friend from the green . . .
posted by deejay jaydee at 8:11 AM on December 19, 2007
if you're alone in sf on xmas, i would seriously recommend that you spend some time (and maybe even attend a service) at st. gregory's of nyssa. it's the most perfect church in the world, imho, and very suited for the crowd here on the green.
what's that, you say? you're a pagan? they LOVE pagans.
oh, it's been years since you even thought about god? you'd be surprised how many folks there will tell you something similar.
afraid to dance at some strange church? that's okay, they'll show you exactly what to do, and you'll be laughing and singing in no time. they may even tap into a keg donated from the anchor brewery across the way (but of course, no one will force you to drink).
seriously. think about it. (you know . . . it's crazy enough . . . it just might work!) because unless things have changed there quite a lot (and it doesn't look like they have), then NOBODY will try to proselytize, convert, baptize, or otherwise enforce any sort of spiritual dogma upon you. ixmas there is just a great spectacle to see and participate in, and you'll meet some very friendly folks there. they welcome everyone, seriously. truly ecumenical, and a great place to go when you're feeling a bit down.
how do i know? i took my wife there back when she was my fiancee. my wife, by the way, is still a dyed-in-the-wool buddhist, if such a person can be said to exist. she loved it. she misses it to this day.
. . . check it out . . . and maybe bring a friend from the green . . .
posted by deejay jaydee at 8:11 AM on December 19, 2007
In terms of volunteering, if you're a reasonably patient person and want something to do for a few hours or a few hours on a few occasions over the next few weeks, give a call to some local nursing homes and ask about visiting. There are always residents in nursing facilities who have no local family, and in a season when those around them are getting regular visits even from extended family, it can get terribly depressing for those who know there isn't anyone to come to see them. (Imagine how much worse it is, they can't leave to go see friends across town, or even to a movie or a mall.) You might be surprised how much you could gain from someone in that situation, and you'd bring a nice dose of happiness to their lives just by sitting and listening to them.
posted by Dreama at 9:15 AM on December 19, 2007
posted by Dreama at 9:15 AM on December 19, 2007
Admittedly, the calendar for the week of Christmas is empty, but the other two weeks your in town try one brick,, it's a volunteer organization with a social component -- there's always socializing after the volunteer event.
posted by bananafish at 12:40 PM on December 19, 2007
posted by bananafish at 12:40 PM on December 19, 2007
oh and the website for one brick is www.onebrick.org
posted by bananafish at 12:41 PM on December 19, 2007
posted by bananafish at 12:41 PM on December 19, 2007
I thought this article about singles and how they plan to spend the holidays was interesting. Perhaps you will find something in it that seems like a good idea.
Note: SF Gate.com, annoying pop-ups ahead.
posted by Lynsey at 1:18 PM on December 19, 2007
Note: SF Gate.com, annoying pop-ups ahead.
posted by Lynsey at 1:18 PM on December 19, 2007
rokusan: " Christmas is a break from work"
Except for those of us who will be working on Christmas... but that helps my loneliness.
Playing a good video game always keeps me busy.
posted by IndigoRain at 1:23 PM on December 19, 2007
Except for those of us who will be working on Christmas... but that helps my loneliness.
Playing a good video game always keeps me busy.
posted by IndigoRain at 1:23 PM on December 19, 2007
Don't you have any fun Jewish friends? Chinese food and a movie with people who aren't homesick or missing anyone or feeling angsty about Dec 25ths past is the way to go in these situations...
posted by availablelight at 5:50 PM on December 19, 2007
posted by availablelight at 5:50 PM on December 19, 2007
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by loiseau at 6:59 PM on December 18, 2007