Urgent Dog Situation: How do I get a dog to trust me, and quick?

November 14, 2007 10:04 PM

The dog I'm dog/house-sitting for will not leave the bedroom. Or come out from under the bed. He growls when I go down the hall in which he is residing. I cannot even get close enough to turn on the light. He has not peed, pooped, drank, or eaten for at least eight hours. When his owner called (four hours ago) I told her everything was great. I figured the pup would give up his game soon. But that was four hours ago...

What do I do? Short of calling the lady who hired me (it is late, and she is many hours away and would probably turn around and come back from the other end of the state?

P.S. I am a life-long dog person, and a pretty experienced dog-sitter. I have never experienced anything like this. What to do?

posted by mr. remy to Pets & Animals (16 answers total)

Put out some dinner, don't try to force him out and be as positive as you can, dogs (as you know) sense frustration, anger, annoyance and happiness. Maybe bring something of his owner's out into the living room. Be patient, don't freak out, if its a young pup, this is a scary new situation and he's trying to figure out what the heck is going on.
posted by fenriq at 10:08 PM on November 14, 2007

My guy did this the first time we left him with a dog sitter in our house instead of putting him in a kennel...Radar had met her but got freaked out when the "wrong" person came home. She just sat a few feet away and quietly talked to him and tossed treats to him and held his leash so that he realized she was going to take him out. It did take a while, but his bladder got the best of him and he let her put his leash on and then everything was fine.

I don't know if any of that will help :( Is there someone else in the area that hangs out with the owner and that the dog might know? It might help him figure out you are ok and you are supposed to be his boss for a bit.

reg
posted by legotech at 10:12 PM on November 14, 2007

The first night I left my dog in care of a sitter, she wouldn't come out of her cage the first night they came over. She's still alive. Dogs can go for a long time without moving; I would give it at least another day before calling the owner.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:13 PM on November 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

What kind of dog is it, i.e. mixed or purebred?
posted by invisible ink at 10:13 PM on November 14, 2007

Response by poster: This is an older dog, and I think there's some abuse in his history.

I've been sitting as calmly as possible watching television, laid out dinner, and sprinkled a hansel-and-gretel treat trail through the house to the front door. Is this weird?
posted by mr. remy at 10:15 PM on November 14, 2007

Sounds like you're doing everything right. The dog may never warm to you, but he's not going to starve.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:19 PM on November 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

Ahh, I'd misread and thought it was a puppy. I think an older dog might be harder to coax but keep cool, be reassuring without overbearing and you should, eventually, win him over.

I agree with legotech about trying to get a familiar face around him to reassure him that you're alright.
posted by fenriq at 10:20 PM on November 14, 2007

Best answer: What breed is he? I'm guessing something small? (not necessarily, but experience would lead me to such)

Lay some food and water out and walk away, even if they're not in the normal places he's not used to eating/drinking. Do you have to leash him up, or can he be trusted to go out in the yard alone? If the latter, just open the door and let him walk out there and do his thing.

If this a long term thing, laying on the floor and looking somewhat vulnerable with his favorite treats in hand may help bring down his defenses. Lay calmly, and let him check you out, then do affirmation with treats and let him gain your trust.

And, honestly, in such a situation, don't hesitate to call the owner. If she's paying you, you owe it to her to let her know her dog is in a potential state of dis-health. She's the best and first person to ask about it.

I've been a professional pet-sitter for nearly three years now and dealt with damn near any situation you could imagine. Feel free to e-mail.
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:24 PM on November 14, 2007

Response by poster: Thx, Ufez. I will call the owner if things have not improved by noon tomorrow: that will be 18 hours. I have moved the food / water bowls closer.

The dog is is an unfixed English Spaniel. Probably 7-8 years old. He can can go outside on his own -- but he has to pass by me. About twenty feet away. I hope this will be close-enough proximity to build some interest.
posted by mr. remy at 10:36 PM on November 14, 2007

Leave the house for a while. Put something on the dog door so you can tell if he's been outside while you were away. He doesn't really need to build any interest in you at all for you to dogsit him. If you can't leave the house, go into some other room and close the door.

If you were planning to sleep in that bedroom, you might need to make other plans. I was dogsitting recently, and the bed was the most guarded area by my charge.
posted by yohko at 11:12 PM on November 14, 2007

FFS freshwater, chill out. Anyone who actually cares about the welfare and happiness of dogs needs to be encouraged in that attitude. You, on the other hand, are a dipstick.

Mr Remy, sometimes dogs will do "unpredictable" things, because you haven't noticed yet why it is the dog is doing what he's doing. It's possible the dog's managed to hurt himself somehow in the time between the owner leaving and you arriving. Or got a huge fright from something just as you opened the door. Etc.

Of course in retrospect it would have been best to meet the dog and spend some time with him and get to the point where he comes when called before saying yea or nay. Live and learn. Anyway, here's what to do now. Is the yard fenced and secure? If so open the door and retreat to another room, ideally one where you can watch out the window. This will at least let him relieve himself. Try not to block his path to the door, food, water etc. Contrary to some opinions a dog will normally piss in the house before letting his bladder burst, so the worst likely thing that will happen is that you will be in for some carpet-cleaning.

Take a shower, and use the owners' soap and the owners' shampoo and if she wears perfume, suck up your gender identity maintenance and smear it on. If there's an unwashed shirt of the owners in the laundry basket dig some out and put 'em on. Sit quietly and watch TV. Put on whatever music the owners like. Put some treats near you. If he comes near you praise him. If there's a mutual friend well known to the dog, invite them over. Take it slow, make no sudden moves, reward curiosity.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 2:51 AM on November 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Mod note: a few comments removed - answers that are not answering the question go to metatalk, thanks
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 4:18 AM on November 15, 2007

First, don't feel bad. This happened the first time we left a dog sitter - a friend of ours with whom our dog was perfectly familiar - alone for a night. She wouldn't come out from under the couch. Oddly, biscuits didn't do it, but coaxing with a real meal did, and after a walk she was fine. I'm not sure how a "qualified" dog-sitter, whatever that is, would do a better job than what you're doing. Sounds like you're doing everything right. I wouldn't worry about it - leave food and water and go watch TV or something. He'll come out when he's ready, and he is not going to die or get sick from not eating for a few hours. If you think it would be okay with the owner, maybe try something super yummy, like some plain hamburger or something, on his food.
posted by walla at 6:45 AM on November 15, 2007

I would call earlier for some tips. It's dangerous for dogs and cats to go without food and water for too long - they can get liver imbalances, etc., especially if it's an older dog. The owners have a right to know that not everything is peachy keen.
posted by agregoli at 8:16 AM on November 15, 2007

Best answer: You need to leave the house for awhile. Leave out lots of goodies (treats, cooked burger meat, food, etc) and water. Put them close to his hiding area to lure him out and more farther away to hopefully keep him out. Turn the tv off so it's quiet and the dog can hear you're gone. Leave the interior doors open as the owner typically would. As yohko said, put something (hair, toothpick, etc) on the potty door, so you'll know if the dog ventured out. Then, simply Leave. Stay out at least a couple hours, but stay away from house.
When you return, first try to reach the bedroom door for his favorite hiding place and close it. Hopefully he won't be in there and you can block off this very possessive area before you end up in this situation again. When you come into house, don't stare at him or anything strange, don't make loud noises, try to keep things calm and ignore him. Your first movement should be toward that hiding place.

If you manage to at least confirm he's eaten some, or drank some (water splashes around bowl), then you'll know he's OK. He just needs you to leave. When you talk to the owner next, if he's come out and eaten/pottied, then casually mention he misses the owner and ask if there's anything you can do to make him feel at home more. Ask what she does when she comes in? Does she say 'Howdy Sally' everyday or some other greeting? Try to keep things low-key, don't sound freaked or panicked, and just ask if there's anything you can do win over this dog's heart. The owner will probably have some real good ideas. And, you can ask these things without panicking her.
If the dog still hasn't come out (evening after an entire evening/night alone), then I'm sorry to say but you'll need to ask owner about the next move. You shouldn't have lied to the owner in the first place, which I understand was wishful thinking, but still. If you do end up retracting your words, you can try to explain that the dog's simply not doing as well as you'd hope and you need advice. You can explain that yesterday the dog was acting standoffish as it might with any stranger, but things have progressively worsened. It's not wholly honest, sure, but at least it gets you to the final goal - advice for how to help this dog!

Another thing I might try (if the dog is still in the bedroom) is to sit in the bedroom with the dog. Across the room, against the wall, I don't believe the dog is going to run out and attack you. I could be wrong of course. Spaniels can be neurotic, imo, since they're so popular and so many poor quality breeders. A dog growling/barking at me wouldn't be enough for me to stop. I would be cautious, but I wouldn't stop in my tracks. Plus, there are different growls for "stay away" and "attack". If it were me, I might go into bedroom sit in the room with something super yummy and stinky, like canned dog food or a can of tuna or cheese or peanut butter. Just minding my own business (reading), but right in that dog's face with something stinky and yummy. You could also toss a nibble of cheddar under the bed that way. Not at the dog of course, but into it's protected area. Most dogs I know would keep growling for maybe 5 minutes and then just watch you to the point of disinterest and/or exhaustion. Remember to not stare.

Finally, as a lifelong dog person, you might be expecting some social time with the dog. I wouldn't. It sounds like it just needs basic needs met - refill bowls.

I do blame the owner a bit in this. If this dog has a poor history, the owner should have known and explained that to you. It sounds like the dog hasn't had any good socialization and suddenly is trapped with a stranger. A good owner would know their pet's issues and provide you more info such as "the dog has issues with men, if you have trouble, call Jane #". That may actually be a valid issue with this dog. Way too many "possibly abused" dogs have issues with males that they don't have with females. Some dogs have issues with bald men only, or men who wear hats, etc. My cocker, for example, has issues with black men mostly and sometimes any man. Milkbone treats are the key to her heart.

I'm the animal lover that my friends call on for all their pet needs when they leave town. I've housesit and petsit for cats, dogs, rodents, snakes, lizards, fish, rabbits, hedgehogs, squirrels, skunks, macaws, frogs, etc. I have had issues where I needed to call on the owners and I have had issues where I needed to call 3rd party for help.
posted by ick at 9:10 AM on November 15, 2007

Since my answer was removed, I will restate that I think giving him some space and taking a walk around the block might be adviseable.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:43 AM on November 15, 2007