Emotionally healthy breakup song?
May 1, 2007 10:42 AM Subscribe
Help me think of a song to illustrate the fifth stage of grief.
Some friends and I regularly produce small mixtapes/podcasts of music we're listening to. It generally has some sort of a theme ("music with foreign lyrics", "video game music covers", "songs to cheer me up", etc.), but is otherwise pretty free-form.
My latest idea is to do the Five Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Here's what I have so far:
Denial "Nothing better", The Postal Service ("just say how to make it right/and i swear I'll do my best to comply")
Anger "Yeah! Oh Yeah!", The Magnetic Fields ("-So it's over, you and I/Was my whole life just a lie?/-Yeah! Oh, yeah!")
Bargaining "It don't matter to the sun", Rosie Thomas ("So, what can I say? What can I do? I'm still in love. Why aren't you?")
Depression "Took you two years to win my heart", Final Fantasy ("they say heartbreak is good for the skin/but all that it's helped is my drinking"), or maybe "Invisible hands", Joseph Arthur ("Your photograph sits like a scar against my wall")
So here's my problem: there's no shortage of songs to illustrate any of the first four stages, but try though I may, I can't think of anything to illustrate Acceptance. I'm having trouble coming up with anything like "You're out of my life, and it's better for us both".
Has it been written? Does anyone ever make it to that final stage? Is acceptance something that can't be expressed through art?
Some friends and I regularly produce small mixtapes/podcasts of music we're listening to. It generally has some sort of a theme ("music with foreign lyrics", "video game music covers", "songs to cheer me up", etc.), but is otherwise pretty free-form.
My latest idea is to do the Five Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Here's what I have so far:
Denial "Nothing better", The Postal Service ("just say how to make it right/and i swear I'll do my best to comply")
Anger "Yeah! Oh Yeah!", The Magnetic Fields ("-So it's over, you and I/Was my whole life just a lie?/-Yeah! Oh, yeah!")
Bargaining "It don't matter to the sun", Rosie Thomas ("So, what can I say? What can I do? I'm still in love. Why aren't you?")
Depression "Took you two years to win my heart", Final Fantasy ("they say heartbreak is good for the skin/but all that it's helped is my drinking"), or maybe "Invisible hands", Joseph Arthur ("Your photograph sits like a scar against my wall")
So here's my problem: there's no shortage of songs to illustrate any of the first four stages, but try though I may, I can't think of anything to illustrate Acceptance. I'm having trouble coming up with anything like "You're out of my life, and it's better for us both".
Has it been written? Does anyone ever make it to that final stage? Is acceptance something that can't be expressed through art?
"Flowers on the Wall", the Statler Brothers ("So please don't give a thought to me, I'm really doin' fine / You can always find me here and havin' quite a time")
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:51 AM on May 1, 2007
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:51 AM on May 1, 2007
Oddly, a lot of country songs:
Jo Dee Messina -- I'm Alright
Travis Tritt -- It's A Great Day To Be Alive
posted by anaelith at 10:54 AM on May 1, 2007
Jo Dee Messina -- I'm Alright
Travis Tritt -- It's A Great Day To Be Alive
posted by anaelith at 10:54 AM on May 1, 2007
"I will always love you" by Dolly Parton. For gods sake, not the Whitney version.
If I
Should stay
I would only be in your way
So I'll go
But I know
I'll think of you every step of
the way
And I...
Will always
Love you, oohh
Will always
Love you
You
My darling you
Mmm-mm
Bittersweet
Memories
That is all I'm taking with me
So good-bye
Please don't cry
We both know I'm not what you
You need
posted by kimdog at 10:58 AM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite]
If I
Should stay
I would only be in your way
So I'll go
But I know
I'll think of you every step of
the way
And I...
Will always
Love you, oohh
Will always
Love you
You
My darling you
Mmm-mm
Bittersweet
Memories
That is all I'm taking with me
So good-bye
Please don't cry
We both know I'm not what you
You need
posted by kimdog at 10:58 AM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite]
It seems like there are tons of songs like that. "I Will Survive" comes to mind as an obvious example. "Let it Be" by The Beatles for more of an indirect approach. "My Family Tree" by John Vanderslice. Surely something from 69 Love Songs. Hell, I've written a song or two that expresses this sentiment.
posted by ludwig_van at 10:58 AM on May 1, 2007
posted by ludwig_van at 10:58 AM on May 1, 2007
Obligatory Metafilter Ben Folds link: Don't Change Your Plans.
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 10:59 AM on May 1, 2007
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 10:59 AM on May 1, 2007
Red Rubber Ball (I swear someone else did it first, but...)
posted by anaelith at 11:01 AM on May 1, 2007
posted by anaelith at 11:01 AM on May 1, 2007
Best answer: Here's one, hoping to contribute to it, Cade. The song is mine, but it's hosted in Metafilter Music and you can download it from there.
The lyrics are in Spanish (hope that's not a problem) but it says:
When you said "we'll be fine, don't worry"
I heard myself saying:
"Yes, we will, of course"
And I know we will
And for the very first time I also know
that today, or any other day
the sun will come
and find us perfectly fine, and apart from each other.
(and the lyrics sound better in Spanish, I swear)
posted by micayetoca at 11:03 AM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite]
The lyrics are in Spanish (hope that's not a problem) but it says:
When you said "we'll be fine, don't worry"
I heard myself saying:
"Yes, we will, of course"
And I know we will
And for the very first time I also know
that today, or any other day
the sun will come
and find us perfectly fine, and apart from each other.
(and the lyrics sound better in Spanish, I swear)
posted by micayetoca at 11:03 AM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite]
Also "Wake Up" by the Arcade Fire.
posted by ludwig_van at 11:03 AM on May 1, 2007
posted by ludwig_van at 11:03 AM on May 1, 2007
"Everyone Is Good" by the Roches.
"Wise Up" by Aimee Mann.
"The Gift" by Annie Lennox.
"I Get Along Without You Very Well" by Chet Baker.
"I Will See You In Far Off Places" by Morrissey.
"Stop Your Sobbing" by the Pretenders.
"Can't Cry Anymore" by Sheryl Crow.
"Shine" by Tracy Bonham.
"Drops of Jupiter" by Train.
"Harvest Festival" by XTC.
posted by Dizzy at 11:04 AM on May 1, 2007
"Wise Up" by Aimee Mann.
"The Gift" by Annie Lennox.
"I Get Along Without You Very Well" by Chet Baker.
"I Will See You In Far Off Places" by Morrissey.
"Stop Your Sobbing" by the Pretenders.
"Can't Cry Anymore" by Sheryl Crow.
"Shine" by Tracy Bonham.
"Drops of Jupiter" by Train.
"Harvest Festival" by XTC.
posted by Dizzy at 11:04 AM on May 1, 2007
"A Sorta Fairytale" by Tori Amos? It's all about acceptance, and perhaps the sadness that still accompanies said acceptance.
See the song's comments on SongMeanings, particularly magda1ena's on the first page:
"I think that this song is allowing yourself to be open to love - not just the kind of love that you read about in fairy tales but in real love - with all the disappointments, pain and joy that comes along with allowing another person into your innermost private self.
When you first fall in love with a person you have an idealized perception of who they are. As time goes on in a relationship there can be disappointments - you can never go back to the way it was when you first met them but you do have memories that you can call upon like passages in a book - these memories help keep you together and serve as reminders to why you fell in love in the first place. These memories help you to see the person you love as a whole and help you to move to the future together.
This song really struck a chord with me and is one of my favorites."
On the second page of comments there's this snippet from an interview with Tori Amos about the character in the song:
"'[Scarlet's] in love at that point,' she explained, 'and [the couple is] taking that classic trip up [Highway] 101 and [Highway] 1 on their way to San Francisco, and they cut off because they are having the trip of their life, and they go out West to the Southwest. And that's where the masks come down for them. Who they thought each other was is not who they really are.
'It's one of those things where it's not about not having enough love for each other, it's just that you don't know why you can't make it work. You don't know how you are losing each other and you're sitting right in front of each other in plain view, but you can't seem to make it work. And that's why it's a 'sort of' fairy tale, because she wasn't a princess.'"
posted by limeonaire at 11:11 AM on May 1, 2007
See the song's comments on SongMeanings, particularly magda1ena's on the first page:
"I think that this song is allowing yourself to be open to love - not just the kind of love that you read about in fairy tales but in real love - with all the disappointments, pain and joy that comes along with allowing another person into your innermost private self.
When you first fall in love with a person you have an idealized perception of who they are. As time goes on in a relationship there can be disappointments - you can never go back to the way it was when you first met them but you do have memories that you can call upon like passages in a book - these memories help keep you together and serve as reminders to why you fell in love in the first place. These memories help you to see the person you love as a whole and help you to move to the future together.
This song really struck a chord with me and is one of my favorites."
On the second page of comments there's this snippet from an interview with Tori Amos about the character in the song:
"'[Scarlet's] in love at that point,' she explained, 'and [the couple is] taking that classic trip up [Highway] 101 and [Highway] 1 on their way to San Francisco, and they cut off because they are having the trip of their life, and they go out West to the Southwest. And that's where the masks come down for them. Who they thought each other was is not who they really are.
'It's one of those things where it's not about not having enough love for each other, it's just that you don't know why you can't make it work. You don't know how you are losing each other and you're sitting right in front of each other in plain view, but you can't seem to make it work. And that's why it's a 'sort of' fairy tale, because she wasn't a princess.'"
posted by limeonaire at 11:11 AM on May 1, 2007
Isn't anybody going to mention "Don't Worry, Be Happy"? Good luck getting THAT out of your head.
posted by cosmicbandito at 11:12 AM on May 1, 2007
posted by cosmicbandito at 11:12 AM on May 1, 2007
Off topic:
puddleglum - isn't that the little half-froggie creature from Mary Norton's Are All the Giants Dead?
If so, awesome. If not, that's cool too.
posted by serazin at 11:14 AM on May 1, 2007
puddleglum - isn't that the little half-froggie creature from Mary Norton's Are All the Giants Dead?
If so, awesome. If not, that's cool too.
posted by serazin at 11:14 AM on May 1, 2007
The Format's (discussed previously) album Dog Problems, released last year, is a sort of concept album built around the progression of a doomed relationship. The last two tracks, "Inches and Falling" (chorus: "Yeah I'm doing all right") and "If Work Permits" (line: "I love being in love / I don't care what it does to me") are both acceptance/moving on songs.
posted by Kronoss at 11:18 AM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by Kronoss at 11:18 AM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite]
I'm not sure this completely counts, but clearly he's over these women... George Strait -- All My Exes. (And drat, now I'm singing it.... people are going to be looking at me funny.) (And drat this question for being fun and distracting me...heh.)
Simon & Garfunkel -- Only Living Boy In New York?
James Taylor -- Fire And Rain?
posted by anaelith at 11:20 AM on May 1, 2007
Simon & Garfunkel -- Only Living Boy In New York?
James Taylor -- Fire And Rain?
posted by anaelith at 11:20 AM on May 1, 2007
Don't exactly fit in with.. the style of music you have so far but the following come to mind. They're more specifically about "death grief", not "break up grief" though.
Easier by Kandi & Faith Evans
Together Again by Janet Jackson.
Also Mensch by Herbert Grönemeyer. It's in German but I thought I'd mention it anyway - translated lyrics.
posted by ClarissaWAM at 11:20 AM on May 1, 2007
Easier by Kandi & Faith Evans
Together Again by Janet Jackson.
Also Mensch by Herbert Grönemeyer. It's in German but I thought I'd mention it anyway - translated lyrics.
posted by ClarissaWAM at 11:20 AM on May 1, 2007
Best answer: Bob Dylan "don't think twice it's allright":
i'm not sayin' you treated me unkind
you coulda done better but i don't mind
you just sorta wasted my precious time
but don't think twice, it's allright
also, the Cranberries. I forget the name, might be daffodils:
i have decided to leave you forever
i have decided to start things from here
thunder and lightning won't change what i feel
and the daffodils look lovely today
i think they're both really pretty songs.
posted by lgyre at 11:22 AM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite]
i'm not sayin' you treated me unkind
you coulda done better but i don't mind
you just sorta wasted my precious time
but don't think twice, it's allright
also, the Cranberries. I forget the name, might be daffodils:
i have decided to leave you forever
i have decided to start things from here
thunder and lightning won't change what i feel
and the daffodils look lovely today
i think they're both really pretty songs.
posted by lgyre at 11:22 AM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite]
Best answer: No Guilt by the Waitresses is one of my favorites in this category --
Needed new posters, so I bought them
I know the cost of stamps now
The thirty-first is when I pay the phone bill
I told them I didn't even know anybody in Toronto
...
I've been reading more and looking up the hard words
I met people who can get me on the guest list
My parents said that they would help me
pay for grad school
You know I had never washed a sweater
I never knew when my hair was too long
I got the cab calls out of my hi-fi
I learned alot since you've been gone
I've done alot since you've been gone
I'm sorry but I don't feel awful
It wasn't the end of the world
I'm sorry I can't be helpless
It wasn't the end of the world
posted by xueexueg at 11:24 AM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite]
Needed new posters, so I bought them
I know the cost of stamps now
The thirty-first is when I pay the phone bill
I told them I didn't even know anybody in Toronto
...
I've been reading more and looking up the hard words
I met people who can get me on the guest list
My parents said that they would help me
pay for grad school
You know I had never washed a sweater
I never knew when my hair was too long
I got the cab calls out of my hi-fi
I learned alot since you've been gone
I've done alot since you've been gone
I'm sorry but I don't feel awful
It wasn't the end of the world
I'm sorry I can't be helpless
It wasn't the end of the world
posted by xueexueg at 11:24 AM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite]
"Cool" by Gwen Stefani
It's hard to remember how it felt before
Now I found the love of my life
Passes things, get more comfortable
Everything is going right
And after all the obstacles
It's good to see you now with someone else
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool
I know we're cool
We used to think it was impossible
Now you call me by my new last name
Memories seem like so long ago
Time always kills the pain
Remember Harbor Boulevard
The dreaming days where the mess was made
Look how all the kids have grown, oh
We have changed but we're still the same
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool
I know we're cool
Yeah, I know we're cool
And I'll be happy for you
If you can be happy for me
Circles and triangles
And now we're hanging out with your new girlfriend
So far from where we've been
I know we're cool
I know we're cool
C-cool, I know we're cool
I know we're cool
posted by inconsequentialist at 11:27 AM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite]
It's hard to remember how it felt before
Now I found the love of my life
Passes things, get more comfortable
Everything is going right
And after all the obstacles
It's good to see you now with someone else
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool
I know we're cool
We used to think it was impossible
Now you call me by my new last name
Memories seem like so long ago
Time always kills the pain
Remember Harbor Boulevard
The dreaming days where the mess was made
Look how all the kids have grown, oh
We have changed but we're still the same
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool
I know we're cool
Yeah, I know we're cool
And I'll be happy for you
If you can be happy for me
Circles and triangles
And now we're hanging out with your new girlfriend
So far from where we've been
I know we're cool
I know we're cool
C-cool, I know we're cool
I know we're cool
posted by inconsequentialist at 11:27 AM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite]
"I Understand It But I Don't Want It," and "(It's Gonna Be) Alright," by Ween.
posted by ibmcginty at 11:37 AM on May 1, 2007
posted by ibmcginty at 11:37 AM on May 1, 2007
That Gwen one is good, especially since anyone who follows pop music knows the history behind it all too well. In fact, you might be able to do a mix tape of all five stages with just songs about that one relationship.
I thought of:
"Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson, of course--the ultimate equalizer between the teeny-boppers and the indie scene kids.
"Unsent" by Alanis Morissette
I also thought of "I Can't Make You Love Me" by Bonnie Raitt, but that might be a little sad for acceptance. It's kind of straddling the line between depression and acceptance.
posted by lampoil at 11:43 AM on May 1, 2007
I thought of:
"Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson, of course--the ultimate equalizer between the teeny-boppers and the indie scene kids.
"Unsent" by Alanis Morissette
I also thought of "I Can't Make You Love Me" by Bonnie Raitt, but that might be a little sad for acceptance. It's kind of straddling the line between depression and acceptance.
posted by lampoil at 11:43 AM on May 1, 2007
"Little Miss Can't Be Wrong" goes from anger to acceptance.
"Margaritaville"'s ending on "but I know it's my own damn fault" appears to also show acceptance.
Dizzy, I find "Harvest Festival" hard to listen to because it's so beautifully sad, but I agree it's a good pick here.
I hadn't thought of that way before, but Sam Cooke's "Bring It On Home To Me" is a great example of bargaining.
posted by kimota at 11:45 AM on May 1, 2007
"Margaritaville"'s ending on "but I know it's my own damn fault" appears to also show acceptance.
Dizzy, I find "Harvest Festival" hard to listen to because it's so beautifully sad, but I agree it's a good pick here.
I hadn't thought of that way before, but Sam Cooke's "Bring It On Home To Me" is a great example of bargaining.
posted by kimota at 11:45 AM on May 1, 2007
Suzann Vega has a few of these. Gypsy, Calypso, and I'll Never Be Your Maggie May spring to mind.
Feel A Whole Lot Better - Tom Petty
A New England - Billy Bragg
posted by Jakey at 11:51 AM on May 1, 2007
Feel A Whole Lot Better - Tom Petty
A New England - Billy Bragg
posted by Jakey at 11:51 AM on May 1, 2007
How about...
"Nobody's Fault But Mine" - Led Zeppelin
"Ramble On" - Led Zeppelin
But my personal choice...
"That's The Way" - Led Zeppelin
I don't know how I'm gonna tell you
I can't play with you no more
I don't know how I'm gonna do what mama told me
My friend, the boy next door
I can't believe what people sayin'
"You gonna let your hair hang down
I'm satisfied to sit here working all day long
You're in the darker side of town"
And when I'm out, I see you walkin'
Why don't your eyes see me
And could it be you've found another game to play
What did mama say to me
"That's the way, oh, that's the way it oughta be-hee-hee"
Yeah, yeah
Mama said, "That's the way it oughta stay," yeah, yeah
O-ooh-hoo, hoo-hoo-ooh-ooh
And yesterday I saw you standing by the river
and weren't those tears that filled your eyes
and all the fish that lay in dirty water dyin'
had they gotcha hypnotized
And yesterday I saw you kissing tiny flowers
but all that lives is born to die
and so I say to you that nothing really matters
and all you do is stand and cry
I don't know what to say about it
when all your ears have turned away
but now's the time to look and look again at what you see
Is that the way it oughta stay
"That's the way, that's the way it oughta be-hee"
Whoa, don'tcha know, now
Mama said, mama said, "That's the way it's gonna stay," yeah
Uh, uh, uh, uh-uh-uh, uh, uh, uh, uh
Aaah
posted by MaHaGoN at 11:52 AM on May 1, 2007
"Nobody's Fault But Mine" - Led Zeppelin
"Ramble On" - Led Zeppelin
But my personal choice...
"That's The Way" - Led Zeppelin
I don't know how I'm gonna tell you
I can't play with you no more
I don't know how I'm gonna do what mama told me
My friend, the boy next door
I can't believe what people sayin'
"You gonna let your hair hang down
I'm satisfied to sit here working all day long
You're in the darker side of town"
And when I'm out, I see you walkin'
Why don't your eyes see me
And could it be you've found another game to play
What did mama say to me
"That's the way, oh, that's the way it oughta be-hee-hee"
Yeah, yeah
Mama said, "That's the way it oughta stay," yeah, yeah
O-ooh-hoo, hoo-hoo-ooh-ooh
And yesterday I saw you standing by the river
and weren't those tears that filled your eyes
and all the fish that lay in dirty water dyin'
had they gotcha hypnotized
And yesterday I saw you kissing tiny flowers
but all that lives is born to die
and so I say to you that nothing really matters
and all you do is stand and cry
I don't know what to say about it
when all your ears have turned away
but now's the time to look and look again at what you see
Is that the way it oughta stay
"That's the way, that's the way it oughta be-hee"
Whoa, don'tcha know, now
Mama said, mama said, "That's the way it's gonna stay," yeah
Uh, uh, uh, uh-uh-uh, uh, uh, uh, uh
Aaah
posted by MaHaGoN at 11:52 AM on May 1, 2007
Response by poster: Great answers so far - my brain just wasn't working. Incidentally, I'm not married to "Nothing better" as my denial song - anyone have a better idea for that [or a replacement for any of the others that is just too perfect to pass up]?
serazin - I haven't read Norton, but Amazon tells me it was written in 1975. If so, it was predated by 1953's The Silver Chair by CS Lewis - but yes, Puddleglum is a half-froggy thing.
posted by puddleglum at 11:53 AM on May 1, 2007
serazin - I haven't read Norton, but Amazon tells me it was written in 1975. If so, it was predated by 1953's The Silver Chair by CS Lewis - but yes, Puddleglum is a half-froggy thing.
posted by puddleglum at 11:53 AM on May 1, 2007
Stars' "Your Ex-Lover is Dead"
posted by Hot Like Your 12V Wire at 11:57 AM on May 1, 2007
posted by Hot Like Your 12V Wire at 11:57 AM on May 1, 2007
"A Different Drum" by Michael Nesmith of the Monkees (but mostly known by the Linda Ronstadt cover):
So good-bye I'll be leaving
I see no sense in this crying and grieving
We'll both live a lot longer
If you live without me
posted by lubujackson at 11:59 AM on May 1, 2007
So good-bye I'll be leaving
I see no sense in this crying and grieving
We'll both live a lot longer
If you live without me
posted by lubujackson at 11:59 AM on May 1, 2007
Ok, I just saw your post right below mine puddlegum, and... well I have yet another Zeppelin song that could be used for denial.
"Tangerine" - Led Zeppelin
One, two
One, two, three, four, one, two
Measuring a summer's day
I only find it slips away to gray
The hours, they bring me pain
Tangerine, tangerine, living reflection from a, from a dream
I was her love, she was my queen
and now a thousand years between
Thinking how it used to be
Does she still remember times like these
To think of us again, and I do
Tangerine, tangerine, living reflection from a dream
I was her love, she was my queen
and now a thousand years betwee-ee-ee-een
And yes, I could probably find a Zeppelin song for all of them... (I don't know whether to be proud of that, or to be ashamed)
posted by MaHaGoN at 12:00 PM on May 1, 2007
"Tangerine" - Led Zeppelin
One, two
One, two, three, four, one, two
Measuring a summer's day
I only find it slips away to gray
The hours, they bring me pain
Tangerine, tangerine, living reflection from a, from a dream
I was her love, she was my queen
and now a thousand years between
Thinking how it used to be
Does she still remember times like these
To think of us again, and I do
Tangerine, tangerine, living reflection from a dream
I was her love, she was my queen
and now a thousand years betwee-ee-ee-een
And yes, I could probably find a Zeppelin song for all of them... (I don't know whether to be proud of that, or to be ashamed)
posted by MaHaGoN at 12:00 PM on May 1, 2007
For 'Bargaining', I like 'Dry your eyes' by The Streets
And a thumbs up to New England, but the Kirsty McCall version is better, IMO.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:09 PM on May 1, 2007
And a thumbs up to New England, but the Kirsty McCall version is better, IMO.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:09 PM on May 1, 2007
Best answer: Seconding "Your Ex-Lover is Dead". About the most awesome song about this I know.
There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
posted by fuzzbean at 12:13 PM on May 1, 2007
There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
posted by fuzzbean at 12:13 PM on May 1, 2007
Oh yeah, Ex-Lover is Dead is a direct hit.
posted by ludwig_van at 12:19 PM on May 1, 2007
posted by ludwig_van at 12:19 PM on May 1, 2007
Seconding Kirsty MacColl.
Also: "Don't Shed a Tear," Paul Carrack.
posted by shallowcenter at 12:20 PM on May 1, 2007
Also: "Don't Shed a Tear," Paul Carrack.
posted by shallowcenter at 12:20 PM on May 1, 2007
I'm not sure if 2002 by Bob Schneider is acceptance or denial. It opens:
The year is two thousand & two
I'm doing exactly what I wanted to
Baby I don't even think about you anymore
Just thought I’d drop you a line
Let you know I was doing fine
Cause baby it's been a long long time
Since you walked out my door
And ends:
So I don't know where I’m gonna send this letter
I doubt things are ever going to get much better
It seems life's just one big whatever anyway
I just thought I’d drop you a line
Lie and say I was doing fine
Cause baby it's been a long long time
Since you walked out my door
posted by bookley at 12:26 PM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite]
The year is two thousand & two
I'm doing exactly what I wanted to
Baby I don't even think about you anymore
Just thought I’d drop you a line
Let you know I was doing fine
Cause baby it's been a long long time
Since you walked out my door
And ends:
So I don't know where I’m gonna send this letter
I doubt things are ever going to get much better
It seems life's just one big whatever anyway
I just thought I’d drop you a line
Lie and say I was doing fine
Cause baby it's been a long long time
Since you walked out my door
posted by bookley at 12:26 PM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite]
VNV Nation, Beloved (Acceptance)
Avril Lavigne (I know, I know), Together (Anger)
posted by fuzzbean at 12:33 PM on May 1, 2007
Avril Lavigne (I know, I know), Together (Anger)
posted by fuzzbean at 12:33 PM on May 1, 2007
Well, in the Gwen/Tony mix, Denial would of course be "Don't Speak."
posted by lampoil at 12:43 PM on May 1, 2007
posted by lampoil at 12:43 PM on May 1, 2007
Big Audio Dynamite II - Rush
Situation no win
Rush for a change of atmosphere
I cover the walls so I give in
Gotta get myself right out of here
And of all my friends
You've been the best to me
Soon will be the thing
When I will pay you handsomely
Broken hearts are hard to mend
You know I've had my share
But life just carries on
Even when I'm not there
posted by yeti at 12:44 PM on May 1, 2007
Situation no win
Rush for a change of atmosphere
I cover the walls so I give in
Gotta get myself right out of here
And of all my friends
You've been the best to me
Soon will be the thing
When I will pay you handsomely
Broken hearts are hard to mend
You know I've had my share
But life just carries on
Even when I'm not there
posted by yeti at 12:44 PM on May 1, 2007
That's exactly what I Don't Need You Now by The Mr. T Experience is about. (Well there's a little bitterness left in there, but still...) And it's a pretty little ditty to boot!
There was a time when I thought I would die.posted by team lowkey at 1:02 PM on May 1, 2007
Every time I thought of you I'd cry
and think myself into a state
and drink myself to sleep too late.
But what was pulling us and me apart
was only breaking in my broken heart:
now it's controlled again, on hold again,
and more broken in than it's ever been.
So I don't need you now.
I can't believe how I ever wondered how
I'd ever make it without you
thinking about you,
but I don't need you now.
I'm Alive - Jackson Browne
Hey look at the way I believed in you
And loved you all these years
Now you can fill a swimming pool with all my salty tears
If you'd have told me what was in your heart
Instead of all your lies
I thought that it would kill me
But I'm alive
Yeah, Im alive
Miserable - Lit
posted by plinth at 1:21 PM on May 1, 2007
Hey look at the way I believed in you
And loved you all these years
Now you can fill a swimming pool with all my salty tears
If you'd have told me what was in your heart
Instead of all your lies
I thought that it would kill me
But I'm alive
Yeah, Im alive
Miserable - Lit
posted by plinth at 1:21 PM on May 1, 2007
"Your Ex-Lover is Dead"! Yes! I couldn't remember the name of the song, but that is what I thought of the instant I read your question.
posted by Alison at 1:23 PM on May 1, 2007
posted by Alison at 1:23 PM on May 1, 2007
Response by poster: The Waitresses' "No Guilt" is new to me, but so, so good. Anyone know of a downloadable link, or better yet, a modern cover of this song?
posted by puddleglum at 1:39 PM on May 1, 2007
posted by puddleglum at 1:39 PM on May 1, 2007
You Can't Always Get What You Want by the Rolling Stones, although one might interpret the song as more grieving than acceptance.
"You get what you need..."
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:52 PM on May 1, 2007
"You get what you need..."
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:52 PM on May 1, 2007
Bif Naked's "I Love Myself Today":
I'm lookin' in the mirror and I like what I see:
I've lost the fear & the horror that's been eating at me
'Cause being with you is like a hangman's noose
I was living my life in dead man's shoes
I have to second "I Will Survive", too:
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no, not I!
Also, maybe not quite on, but Paul Mac's "Sound of Breaking Up" might fit, as well:
I'm tired of making up
Just take your keys and go
This is the sound of breaking up
posted by meghanmiller at 1:55 PM on May 1, 2007
I'm lookin' in the mirror and I like what I see:
I've lost the fear & the horror that's been eating at me
'Cause being with you is like a hangman's noose
I was living my life in dead man's shoes
I have to second "I Will Survive", too:
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no, not I!
Also, maybe not quite on, but Paul Mac's "Sound of Breaking Up" might fit, as well:
I'm tired of making up
Just take your keys and go
This is the sound of breaking up
posted by meghanmiller at 1:55 PM on May 1, 2007
Best answer: Oh! I actually did this same theme for a particularly bad breakup last year. It was very helpful, actually. Anyways, check out the mix! I hope you like it. Maybe you can mine it for some ideas... I'll tell you, at the time when I finished, I was like "This is the most PERFECT MIX EVER!!!!" With a little retrospect I would have done a few things differently. But I will say the process of making it was the most important thing. And I love the cover art, if I do say so myself. THAT was a labor of (Lost) Love.
posted by indiebass at 2:08 PM on May 1, 2007
posted by indiebass at 2:08 PM on May 1, 2007
The Beautiful South does a song, A Little Time, that goes throught the whole process. It's a duet, and ends with her moving on. It also has the same melodic feel as the other songs you've chosen.
posted by iamkimiam at 2:13 PM on May 1, 2007
posted by iamkimiam at 2:13 PM on May 1, 2007
(I forgot to list the songs in the "acceptance" category!) Here they are:
Alison Krauss - Down to the River To Pray
Eliot Smith - Somebody That I Used to Know
Belle & Sebastian - Seeing Other People
The Spinners - Ooh Child
Bob Marley - Everything's Going to be Alright
Jimmy Soul - If you Wanna be Happy
posted by indiebass at 2:18 PM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite]
Alison Krauss - Down to the River To Pray
Eliot Smith - Somebody That I Used to Know
Belle & Sebastian - Seeing Other People
The Spinners - Ooh Child
Bob Marley - Everything's Going to be Alright
Jimmy Soul - If you Wanna be Happy
posted by indiebass at 2:18 PM on May 1, 2007 [1 favorite]
Ooh! I thought of another Acceptance one. "I Used to Love Him" by Lauryn Hill. A little preachy, but I love it anyway:
Father you saved me and showed me that life
Was much more than being some foolish man's wife
Showed me that love was respect and devotion
Greater than planets deeper than oceans
My soul was weary but now it's replenished
Content because that part of my life is finished
I also thought of "So Good" by Destiny's Child. Heh.
I've often used "Ooh Child" to help me with stressful times, and I did think of it. But it seems more about hope and comfort than acceptance.
posted by lampoil at 2:22 PM on May 1, 2007
Father you saved me and showed me that life
Was much more than being some foolish man's wife
Showed me that love was respect and devotion
Greater than planets deeper than oceans
My soul was weary but now it's replenished
Content because that part of my life is finished
I also thought of "So Good" by Destiny's Child. Heh.
I've often used "Ooh Child" to help me with stressful times, and I did think of it. But it seems more about hope and comfort than acceptance.
posted by lampoil at 2:22 PM on May 1, 2007
Belle & Sebastian - Seeing Other People
I'd disagree. The title is ironic. "Seeing other people / at least that's what we say we are doing," and so forth.
posted by ludwig_van at 2:37 PM on May 1, 2007
I'd disagree. The title is ironic. "Seeing other people / at least that's what we say we are doing," and so forth.
posted by ludwig_van at 2:37 PM on May 1, 2007
Best answer: puddleglum: thanks for hunting down the recording -- my records are 3500 miles away and I wanted to hear it again. If you look in that page's source you can find the 'mediaURL' for the mp3 link (just up to the first &) which you could download directly (saving with a .mp3 extension). Or you can check your email in a few minutes.
posted by xueexueg at 2:46 PM on May 1, 2007
posted by xueexueg at 2:46 PM on May 1, 2007
Someone already posted Bif Naked's I Love Myself Today, but I think the main thrust of that one is in the refrain:
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
I'm cool, I'm calm
I'm gonna be okay!
However, when you listen to it, the actual delivery may be more along the lines of anger. (additional lyrics: You left me/ like a broken doll/ In pieces as I took the fall/ for you, you dumb chump!).
posted by timepiece at 2:49 PM on May 1, 2007
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
I'm cool, I'm calm
I'm gonna be okay!
However, when you listen to it, the actual delivery may be more along the lines of anger. (additional lyrics: You left me/ like a broken doll/ In pieces as I took the fall/ for you, you dumb chump!).
posted by timepiece at 2:49 PM on May 1, 2007
Extraordinary Machine by Fiona Apple
I seem to you to seek a new disaster every day
You deem me due to clean my view and be at piece and lay
I mean to prove I mean to move in my own way, and say,
I've been getting along for long before you came into the play
If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine
posted by Methylviolet at 3:06 PM on May 1, 2007
I seem to you to seek a new disaster every day
You deem me due to clean my view and be at piece and lay
I mean to prove I mean to move in my own way, and say,
I've been getting along for long before you came into the play
If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine
posted by Methylviolet at 3:06 PM on May 1, 2007
Don't know how "emotionally healthy" this is, but Annie Lennox's "No More I Love You" fits the resignation phase:
I used to be lunatic from the gracious days
I used to be woebegone and so restless nights
My aching heart would bleed for you to see
Oh but now...
(I don't find myself bouncing round whistling
and fortunes to make me cry)
No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me
No more "I love you's"
Changes are shifting outside the word
(The lover speaks about the monsters)
I used to have demons in my room at night
Desire,despair,desire,so many monsters
Oh but now...
(I don't find myself bouncing round whistling
and fortunes to make me cry)
No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me
No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me in silence
No more "I love you's"
Changes are shifting outside the word
They were being really crazy
They were on the come.
And you know what mammy?
Everybody was being really crazy.
Uh huh.
The monsters are crazy.
There are monsters outsides.
No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me
No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me in silence
No more "I love you's"
Changes are shifting outside the word
Outside the word
posted by paulsc at 3:31 PM on May 1, 2007
I used to be lunatic from the gracious days
I used to be woebegone and so restless nights
My aching heart would bleed for you to see
Oh but now...
(I don't find myself bouncing round whistling
and fortunes to make me cry)
No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me
No more "I love you's"
Changes are shifting outside the word
(The lover speaks about the monsters)
I used to have demons in my room at night
Desire,despair,desire,so many monsters
Oh but now...
(I don't find myself bouncing round whistling
and fortunes to make me cry)
No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me
No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me in silence
No more "I love you's"
Changes are shifting outside the word
They were being really crazy
They were on the come.
And you know what mammy?
Everybody was being really crazy.
Uh huh.
The monsters are crazy.
There are monsters outsides.
No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me
No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me in silence
No more "I love you's"
Changes are shifting outside the word
Outside the word
posted by paulsc at 3:31 PM on May 1, 2007
"I Used to Say I Love You" by Robyn Hitchcock.
Sample lyric:
I used to say I love you, it wasn't really true
I wanted to believe it and now I almost do
I used to say I love you, I said it as a threat
Or maybe as a promise to see what I could get
But my heart doesn't break anymore
No, my heart doesn't ache anymore
'Cause it just couldn't take anymore
And I've lost my illusions about you now
posted by ROTFL at 3:50 PM on May 1, 2007
Sample lyric:
I used to say I love you, it wasn't really true
I wanted to believe it and now I almost do
I used to say I love you, I said it as a threat
Or maybe as a promise to see what I could get
But my heart doesn't break anymore
No, my heart doesn't ache anymore
'Cause it just couldn't take anymore
And I've lost my illusions about you now
posted by ROTFL at 3:50 PM on May 1, 2007
Don't think twice it's alright was the first thing I thought of but for something more lively there's The Saw Doctor's - I used to love her
posted by TwoWordReview at 5:14 PM on May 1, 2007
posted by TwoWordReview at 5:14 PM on May 1, 2007
Easy to do this just with Lou Barlow songs
Denial: Willing to Wait ("When you see him again, Tell him everything that you told me, Tell him that I’m still your friend, And maybe you would like to see me again")
Anger: The Freed Pig ("Now you will be free, With no sick people tugging on your sleeve, Your big head has that more room to grow, A glory I will never know")
Bargaining: Willing to Wait could fit here too
Depression: Legendary Tragedy ("I knew i wanted more than you could give to me, I know there’ll come a day I understand, Until then i’ll be trying to solve a mystery, Wonder why i couldn’t make you stay")
Acceptance: Soul & Fire ("As you walk away, think of all the joy we shared, If you decide you need me, I'll be wondering if I care, Not there to soothe your soul, friend to tender friend, I think our love is coming to an end")
posted by loiseau at 5:24 PM on May 1, 2007
Denial: Willing to Wait ("When you see him again, Tell him everything that you told me, Tell him that I’m still your friend, And maybe you would like to see me again")
Anger: The Freed Pig ("Now you will be free, With no sick people tugging on your sleeve, Your big head has that more room to grow, A glory I will never know")
Bargaining: Willing to Wait could fit here too
Depression: Legendary Tragedy ("I knew i wanted more than you could give to me, I know there’ll come a day I understand, Until then i’ll be trying to solve a mystery, Wonder why i couldn’t make you stay")
Acceptance: Soul & Fire ("As you walk away, think of all the joy we shared, If you decide you need me, I'll be wondering if I care, Not there to soothe your soul, friend to tender friend, I think our love is coming to an end")
posted by loiseau at 5:24 PM on May 1, 2007
puddleglum, oh ya, I think I may remember that fromthe Silver Chair. I think Puddlegum (no second 'l') is in Are All the Giants Dead?.
posted by serazin at 9:44 PM on May 1, 2007
posted by serazin at 9:44 PM on May 1, 2007
The Cyrkle originally recorded "Red Rubber Ball," but it was written by Paul Simon (and, apparently, Bruce Woodley).
/Captain Technical
(as I'm known at work)
I came in to suggest "I Will Survive" but after seeing suggestions like "Red Rubber Ball," Kirsty MacColl, etc., I rescind that suggestion.
The Jackson Browne album mentioned above might or might not be good; I associate it very strongly with my first boyfriend, so I can't judge its objective quality. Might be worth checking out though.
What a fun project.
posted by librarina at 10:03 PM on May 1, 2007
/Captain Technical
(as I'm known at work)
I came in to suggest "I Will Survive" but after seeing suggestions like "Red Rubber Ball," Kirsty MacColl, etc., I rescind that suggestion.
The Jackson Browne album mentioned above might or might not be good; I associate it very strongly with my first boyfriend, so I can't judge its objective quality. Might be worth checking out though.
What a fun project.
posted by librarina at 10:03 PM on May 1, 2007
Bargaining: "Don't Leave Me This Way," Thelma Houston
Depression: "Crying," Roy Orbison
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:57 AM on May 2, 2007
Depression: "Crying," Roy Orbison
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:57 AM on May 2, 2007
Best answer: Roy Harper, "Francesca."
Hey, Francesca --
you gave me no warning.
Hey, Francesca --
tiptoes in the morning.
Thanks for leaving the sunshine.
Thanks for leaving me.
Thanks for being all mine.
Thanks for being free.
Hey, Francesca.
(Thanks to Sean and Jordan at Said the Gramophone for introducing me to this staggeringly beautiful song.)
posted by melissa may at 12:09 PM on May 2, 2007
Hey, Francesca --
you gave me no warning.
Hey, Francesca --
tiptoes in the morning.
Thanks for leaving the sunshine.
Thanks for leaving me.
Thanks for being all mine.
Thanks for being free.
Hey, Francesca.
(Thanks to Sean and Jordan at Said the Gramophone for introducing me to this staggeringly beautiful song.)
posted by melissa may at 12:09 PM on May 2, 2007
Oh, man -- how could I forget the perfect thing:
Days, by the Kinks:
Thank you for the days,
Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me.
I'm thinking of the days,
I won't forget a single day, believe me.
Days I'll remember all my life,
Days when you can't see wrong from right.
You took my life,
And then I knew that very soon you'd leave me,
But it's all right,
Now I'm not frightened of this world, believe me.
posted by Methylviolet at 4:33 PM on May 2, 2007
Days, by the Kinks:
Thank you for the days,
Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me.
I'm thinking of the days,
I won't forget a single day, believe me.
Days I'll remember all my life,
Days when you can't see wrong from right.
You took my life,
And then I knew that very soon you'd leave me,
But it's all right,
Now I'm not frightened of this world, believe me.
posted by Methylviolet at 4:33 PM on May 2, 2007
how about "sun is shining" by the dirtbombs. its a cross between denial and acceptance.
posted by lunachic at 6:11 PM on May 2, 2007
posted by lunachic at 6:11 PM on May 2, 2007
For anyone still looking, for the acceptance stage this is awesome.
But even better, - if you like Gladys Knight and the Pips (and who doesn't?) this is where it is at.
posted by Wilder at 8:18 AM on November 5, 2007
But even better, - if you like Gladys Knight and the Pips (and who doesn't?) this is where it is at.
posted by Wilder at 8:18 AM on November 5, 2007
And for a pop take, (a real cheesy one) is This is not real love from George Michael & Mutya Buena.
posted by Wilder at 8:31 AM on November 5, 2007
posted by Wilder at 8:31 AM on November 5, 2007
« Older What movie is bringing these badass looking... | How to make X11 applications show up in the Dock? Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by selfmedicating at 10:51 AM on May 1, 2007