Will you help me make summer plans?
April 13, 2007 5:35 PM Subscribe
What can I do with myself for two weeks in July? My son and his father will be traveling to England with the kid's choir, and I'll be home in Fairfield County, Connecticut (about 45 minutes by commuter train from NYC), probably feeling horribly lonely.
My son is 10, and I've never in his life been apart for him for even nearly this long. And he'll be on another continent! His father is my best friend, and while we're not a couple anymore, we do share the house and raise the child together, and I quite enjoy his company. I'll miss him dearly, too.
I've recently quit my career in graphic design to return to school to become a nurse. This summer, I'll likely take one class, but the rest of my time will be freeeeeee -- or free-ish, as before and after the England trip, I'll be doing kid things with the kid over his summer break.
Nothing's going to make me miss the boys any less, I'm sure, but I don't think I want to stay home alone for two weeks. For one, that's scary, and for two, that's a missed opportunity to... uh, do what?
What would you do? Travel somewhere by yourself? Hold a two-week-long slumber party? Drive around and make the long-distance friend circuit? What the heck might I do?
Thank yooou!
My son is 10, and I've never in his life been apart for him for even nearly this long. And he'll be on another continent! His father is my best friend, and while we're not a couple anymore, we do share the house and raise the child together, and I quite enjoy his company. I'll miss him dearly, too.
I've recently quit my career in graphic design to return to school to become a nurse. This summer, I'll likely take one class, but the rest of my time will be freeeeeee -- or free-ish, as before and after the England trip, I'll be doing kid things with the kid over his summer break.
Nothing's going to make me miss the boys any less, I'm sure, but I don't think I want to stay home alone for two weeks. For one, that's scary, and for two, that's a missed opportunity to... uh, do what?
What would you do? Travel somewhere by yourself? Hold a two-week-long slumber party? Drive around and make the long-distance friend circuit? What the heck might I do?
Thank yooou!
If I had two weeks free and clear, I'd absolutely take a trip (I enjoy travelling on my own). Depending on your budget, it could be anything ranging from a regional roadtrip to flying somewhere halfway around the world (though July is, of course, high season for whole chunks of the globe, so you'd have to decide and plan quickly for any major destinations! Alternatively, if you don't mind less than perfect weather, you could fly somewhere like New Zealand or Australia on the off-season -- it'll be winter, but as long as you don't have your heart set on going to beaches every day, there's still plenty to see and enjoy).
But as you say, you're also less than an hour from NYC. So if taking a full two-week vacation isn't possible, why not take a series of day-vacations into the city? Personally, I'd be over the moon to have that kind of free time just for museums -- I could easily kill a week going to MoMA, the Met, and the Whitney alone. And of course there's literally no end to your choice of restaurants, theater, dance, ballet, film, etc. Call some friends and make some dates!
posted by scody at 5:54 PM on April 13, 2007
But as you say, you're also less than an hour from NYC. So if taking a full two-week vacation isn't possible, why not take a series of day-vacations into the city? Personally, I'd be over the moon to have that kind of free time just for museums -- I could easily kill a week going to MoMA, the Met, and the Whitney alone. And of course there's literally no end to your choice of restaurants, theater, dance, ballet, film, etc. Call some friends and make some dates!
posted by scody at 5:54 PM on April 13, 2007
Do you have a fulfilling and creative project that you could really get into at home during that period? If not, getting out of the house and out of town will be the best thing to do. I second visiting friends and family as a good plan. I suggest leaving for your "tour" at the same time as they do and staying on the road for as long as they're gone. Day trips to NY museums and cultural events would also be brilliant; but if it doesn't feel exotic enough (since NY is so close), leave it for later as something to do with a friend.
posted by amusem at 7:03 PM on April 13, 2007
posted by amusem at 7:03 PM on April 13, 2007
Best answer: You mention that you're going back to school for a nursing degree after a career in graphic design. If you're anything like me, that means that you'll be spending a lot of time during your early semesters studying things you haven't dealt with since high school. You're going to be busy.
I see two all-consuming fortnights for you.
A: Spend those two weeks learning how to streamline your life. Learn about once-a-month cooking, high-level study and time-managment skills and speed-cleaning. Any grad student who has a handle on that stuff is a happy grad student indeed.
B: Imagine a Thursday in the middle of the third semester, when you're swamped with work and stress and would like to buy your son and his dad a one-way ticket to the moon. On that Thursday, what do you think you'd rather be doing? Do *that* for two whole weeks. Would you imagine slipping out the front door with nothing but a packed lunch, a road map and a tire patch kit and riding your bike from hostel to hostel until you were ready to come back to real life? Would you place land-mines in front of the bathroom door and hole up in the tub with some bath salts, a loofah and a copy of Gravity's Rainbow and refuse to come out until your fingers were too pruney to turn the pages? Would you run away and join an Ashram? An unlimited class-card at your local yoga place might help you to approximate this.
Living with people, even with people you love, involves compromises. I'd start making a big list of things that make the boys say "ew" when you do them. I know that I have. When my partner travels out of town, I make all of the dishes that he can't even stand the smell of, rent piles of DVDs that would send him running out of the living room and play music that I love, but he hates, at top volume. If they're terribly tolerant sorts, imagine some of the less understanding roommates you've ever had.
Alternatively, if you're someone who really hates being alone, you can visit family or friends, or find a few trashy but compulsively readable books.
You haven't had a good, solid bit of alone-time in at least 11 years! (Alone time doesn't count if there's someone inside of you who kicks your belly and makes you vomit at inopportune moments.) In every one of those last 11 years, there must have been one day when you had the 'flu, were insanely busy or just wanted some down-time, but you just didn't get it. And now, you're getting each of these eleven days all at once, plus three bonus days.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 8:07 PM on April 13, 2007
I see two all-consuming fortnights for you.
A: Spend those two weeks learning how to streamline your life. Learn about once-a-month cooking, high-level study and time-managment skills and speed-cleaning. Any grad student who has a handle on that stuff is a happy grad student indeed.
B: Imagine a Thursday in the middle of the third semester, when you're swamped with work and stress and would like to buy your son and his dad a one-way ticket to the moon. On that Thursday, what do you think you'd rather be doing? Do *that* for two whole weeks. Would you imagine slipping out the front door with nothing but a packed lunch, a road map and a tire patch kit and riding your bike from hostel to hostel until you were ready to come back to real life? Would you place land-mines in front of the bathroom door and hole up in the tub with some bath salts, a loofah and a copy of Gravity's Rainbow and refuse to come out until your fingers were too pruney to turn the pages? Would you run away and join an Ashram? An unlimited class-card at your local yoga place might help you to approximate this.
Living with people, even with people you love, involves compromises. I'd start making a big list of things that make the boys say "ew" when you do them. I know that I have. When my partner travels out of town, I make all of the dishes that he can't even stand the smell of, rent piles of DVDs that would send him running out of the living room and play music that I love, but he hates, at top volume. If they're terribly tolerant sorts, imagine some of the less understanding roommates you've ever had.
Alternatively, if you're someone who really hates being alone, you can visit family or friends, or find a few trashy but compulsively readable books.
You haven't had a good, solid bit of alone-time in at least 11 years! (Alone time doesn't count if there's someone inside of you who kicks your belly and makes you vomit at inopportune moments.) In every one of those last 11 years, there must have been one day when you had the 'flu, were insanely busy or just wanted some down-time, but you just didn't get it. And now, you're getting each of these eleven days all at once, plus three bonus days.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 8:07 PM on April 13, 2007
I have a similar situation with my summers, only that I send my kids (about the same age as your son) off with their dad for a month or so to a different state to see their half-siblings. This summer, we're going to basically reverse the visitation schedule somewhat, and it's definitely going to be challenging for me. I remember the first summer that they were away for longer than I'd ever dealt with and how I was pleasantly surprised, once I got over the initial worries. (Disclaimer: I've been used to sending them off every other weekend and for time in the summer since 2000. I do still hear "phantom kid" noises occasionally when their gone for more than that, though, so I don't think I've gotten too jaded.)
The suggestions above are excellent and are things I tend to do when the kids are away. Do some traveling that you normally wouldn't. Concentrate on a project that you need time and quiet for. Spend some quality time with friends and family without your boys around. Schedule a massage or a spa day. Basically, I look at it as the ultimate ME time when I don't have to be a caregiver to anyone else. It can be very rejuvenating if you go at it with a good attitude. And maybe, since you're pretty close, initiate a meetup in NYC and get to know some interesting MeFites.
Also, it helps to have some regular phone and/or online contact. It lets you know they're doing well and keeps the worries at bay.
Yet one more word of advice: If you keep a growth chart, measure him before he leaves. The way kids that age grow like weeds, you'll likely both be amazed when he gets back.
On preview, freshwater_pr0n's advice is right on, too!
posted by lilywing13 at 8:14 PM on April 13, 2007
The suggestions above are excellent and are things I tend to do when the kids are away. Do some traveling that you normally wouldn't. Concentrate on a project that you need time and quiet for. Spend some quality time with friends and family without your boys around. Schedule a massage or a spa day. Basically, I look at it as the ultimate ME time when I don't have to be a caregiver to anyone else. It can be very rejuvenating if you go at it with a good attitude. And maybe, since you're pretty close, initiate a meetup in NYC and get to know some interesting MeFites.
Also, it helps to have some regular phone and/or online contact. It lets you know they're doing well and keeps the worries at bay.
Yet one more word of advice: If you keep a growth chart, measure him before he leaves. The way kids that age grow like weeds, you'll likely both be amazed when he gets back.
On preview, freshwater_pr0n's advice is right on, too!
posted by lilywing13 at 8:14 PM on April 13, 2007
There are a ton of historic sites in Fairfield County (I'm from Fairfield). My fiance and I have been talking about visiting the historical society and learning more about the history of the area and specifically what happened during the revolutionary war. (But we're both intersted in that sort of thing).
Also, this would be a terrific time to plan a home improvement or crafty project. I tend to get super absorbed in that type of project, and it may help to have some distraction while your family is out of town.
That being said, it is also a unique opportunity to visit out-of-town friends and family. That may be your most distracting option.
posted by elvissa at 9:18 PM on April 13, 2007
Also, this would be a terrific time to plan a home improvement or crafty project. I tend to get super absorbed in that type of project, and it may help to have some distraction while your family is out of town.
That being said, it is also a unique opportunity to visit out-of-town friends and family. That may be your most distracting option.
posted by elvissa at 9:18 PM on April 13, 2007
Response by poster: Wow, you guys sure are wonderful. Lots of food for thought, here. As I have two weeks, I'll probably put several of these ideas into play.
Oh, and as for romance? Eeee! No, I have not been lonely, but I've just ended a long-term relationship, and since I don't want to make anyone the rebound woman (I'm gay), I'm going to steer clear of that arena for a bit.
Thank you all, so much, for sharing your thoughts.
posted by houseofdanie at 10:16 AM on April 16, 2007
Oh, and as for romance? Eeee! No, I have not been lonely, but I've just ended a long-term relationship, and since I don't want to make anyone the rebound woman (I'm gay), I'm going to steer clear of that arena for a bit.
Thank you all, so much, for sharing your thoughts.
posted by houseofdanie at 10:16 AM on April 16, 2007
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posted by caddis at 5:41 PM on April 13, 2007