Unwanted iPod vs. Happy Girlfriend

January 7, 2007 3:53 AM

My girlfriend gave me an iPod Nano for Christmas but I was going to ask for a iPod 60GB for my birthday. What can I do?

My girlfriend, who is a student, spent a relatively large amount of her own money on an iPod nano (2GB) for me, which of course was very touching and generous of her.
BUT I was going to ask for, for my birthday (in February) an iPod 60GB, as I have a huge amount of music which I want to carry around with me.

She, in the meantime, has admired my iPod Nano and expressed a desire to have one herself. I'm really pleased with my nano but it just doesn't quite fit my 'needs'! But then if I said that she would feel, understandably, feel disappointed that she put in the money and effort for nothing.

How do I have my cake and eat it, i.e. get an iPod 60GB without offending her?

Thanks for your time.

posted by anonymous to Human Relations (34 answers total)

Pay for half your birthday present and give her the nano ?
posted by XiBe at 4:00 AM on January 7, 2007

Tell her you love the iPod so much you want to put all your music on it, so you asked for the larger one for your birthday. Then, give her the Nano, since she admired it. You can stress how much her gift showed you how much you enjoy having an iPod.
posted by hankbear at 4:04 AM on January 7, 2007

I assume you're buying yourself the present, or are you expecting it from your parents or someone? It's easy: just get the gift from your parents and then be pleasantly surprised that they got you one, and give the nano to your girlfriend.

Otherwise, there's no shame and I cannot imagine much damage done if after a month or so you say "gosh, this is awesome, but I'm going to buy myself a bigger ipod, who knew I had so much music? Do you want the nano?"

Seems pretty straightforward to me. Fortunately, my wife and I have a long-standing agreement that we all appreciate any gift but if it's the wrong one, it's not a sign of lack of love or appreciation if we exchange it for what we really wanted.
posted by maxwelton at 4:25 AM on January 7, 2007 [1 favorite]

Added: pleasantly surprised as in "gosh, I thought my parents knew I had an iPod!"
posted by maxwelton at 4:26 AM on January 7, 2007 [1 favorite]

Tell her? I mean, if you two can't work through this "problem", how are you going to handle a real crisis? This seems like basic communication to me.
posted by Jesco at 4:55 AM on January 7, 2007

Tell her and then go down on her. Twice.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:27 AM on January 7, 2007 [6 favorites]

Jesco writes "I mean, if you two can't work through this 'problem', how are you going to handle a real crisis?"

I dunno, sometimes these little things are much harder to approach and deal with than the big ones.

I second maxwelton: get the iPod from whomever (not your GF) for your birthday, and then give her the nano. She's happy, you're happy, and whoever gave you the gift is happy.
posted by Bugbread at 6:07 AM on January 7, 2007

I'd go with what maxwelton said.

But if you feel like communication might be an issue between the two of you, maybe work on that, too (per Jesco). Done.
posted by Alt F4 at 6:17 AM on January 7, 2007

We've always been a multiple ipod household - helpful, since the damn things keep conking out on us. Why not use the Nano for workouts or the car, and use it to store your (and your girlfriend's) favorite songs?

Then, when it's her birthday, give her her own Nano. Don't regift the one she gave you. Ouch.
posted by bibliowench at 7:35 AM on January 7, 2007

I have a 40Gb, but I'm starting to want a Nano for times when I don't want to lug the big one around. So I'm with bibliowench -- keep them both.

(I'm assuming, as are others in this thread, that you are not expecting the 60Gb birthday gift from your girlfriend. You're not, right? Because it would be ultra-uncool to tell her that the expensive gift she gave you for Xmas wasn't quite right, and would she please give you an even more expensive gift for your birthday.)
posted by ottereroticist at 8:22 AM on January 7, 2007

Wait-- did you open the package and use the Nano, or can she still return it? If it's returnable, great! Let her know you're expecting another IPod from your parents and give her the chance to make you happy.

If you went nuts and opened the package, why open something you knew you didn't want? If you didn't tell her immediately that you didn't want the Nano, then it's hurtful to replace it so soon afterwards. If you opened and used it, you lost your chance to end this gracefully. If that's the case, I think it would be best to not ask your parents for an IPod this year.
posted by Gable Oak at 8:35 AM on January 7, 2007

The OBVIOUS solution is to send me the nano and tell her you lost it. That way I could have two iPods, one for working out and one for regular use. Oh wait...
posted by matty at 9:11 AM on January 7, 2007

I agree with the others who say this shouldn't be a problem. On numerous occasions my wife and I have given each other something that wasn't quite right, and feelings were never hurt by us saying so. (For example, the gold earrings I gave her this Christmas --- she's taking them back because the clasp on them isn't the kind she likes!)

The obvious, and easy, solution has already been said --- give her the Nano and get yourself the 60GB.

I don't think the fact that you opened the Nano should really matter. Does your girlfriend really care that much about opening the cellophane?
posted by jayder at 9:20 AM on January 7, 2007

Mrs. Tacos bought me a nano for Christmas, despite the fact that I have a brand new 60GB video ipod, and specifically noted that I wouldn't buy myself a nano.

Man, the thing is great :-) It is so much better for work-outs and what not. So now I have two iPods, and she has one, and life is good.

If you don't work out, or have no other use for a nano, then just go talk to her. If you stay together, you will learn to talk about much bigger (and smaller) things than this.
posted by Tacos Are Pretty Great at 9:46 AM on January 7, 2007

I disagree with most people. Don't get the 60GB -- your gf give you a thoughtful gift; you should use it and keep it.

I can't imagine that it's so hard for you to chnage the music on the Nano every month or so.

The fact that it's a gift from your gf makes "suffering" through the "hardship" of only owning a nano a no-brainer.
posted by modernnomad at 10:42 AM on January 7, 2007

Tell her? I mean, if you two can't work through this "problem", how are you going to handle a real crisis? This seems like basic communication to me.

i was just about to say that.

your gf give you a thoughtful gift; you should use it and keep it.

it's not a thoughtful gift if it's not what he needs - it's just an expensive one.
posted by ascullion at 11:06 AM on January 7, 2007

it's not a thoughtful gift if it's not what he needs - it's just an expensive one.

No one needs an ipod of any size. He clearly wanted a music player; she bought him this best one she could afford (or so it seems). This seems generous and thoughtful.
posted by modernnomad at 11:26 AM on January 7, 2007

I agree with modernnomad. Keep the nano and just wait until the new iPods come out.
posted by Number27 at 11:44 AM on January 7, 2007

I can't imagine that it's so hard for you to chnage the music on the Nano every month or so.

I'm fascinated by the different ways people relate to their music collections. My wife LOVES her 20GB iPod, but it will take her a million years to fill it. Still, it holds what is -- to her -- a really huge selection of songs.

I on the other hand, continually fret because my 60GB ipod isn't big enough. I listen to stuff pretty much all day, every day (I listen while I work, during my commute, and also, since I'm an insomniac, often well into the night.) Even though my 60GB player is almost full, I pretty much listen to everything on it. And I never know what I want to listen to until a few seconds before I start listening to it.

Obviously, people like me don't NEED an iPod. But I'll unashamedly admit that no machine -- ever -- has given me as much pleasure and changed my life as much as mine has.

What did I do back before iPods. I was one of those geeks who carried around 100 cassette tapes in a backpack and went nuts before a long vacation, trying to figure out which tapes to bring and which to leave behind.

I've heard so many people say things like, "Why on Earth would anyone need a 60GB iPod? How much music can anyone possibly listen to?" I don't think such people are deluded or nuts. I just think that people's relationship to their music is so powerful that it's hard for them to imagine that other people relate differently.

To answer the question: I agree that honesty is the best policy. Thank her for the lovely gift and then admit what you really want. If that doesn't work for you, wait a couple of months and then tell her that you love the nano so much that you want to upgrade to an even better model. And that you'd like to give the nano to her.
posted by grumblebee at 12:04 PM on January 7, 2007 [1 favorite]

Suck it up. Best thing to do. Wait a year before upgrading.
posted by Ironmouth at 12:38 PM on January 7, 2007

keep the nano and use it for working out. praise its usefulness often. the flash drive means it doesn't skip, and it's lighter so it's easier to run with. you don't run? give your girlfriend the gift of you in better shape, ie, start running.

don't give her the nano. don't get rid of the nano. both of those strategies would hurt my feelings if i was the giftgiver, in which case i would never tell you or even myself because that's childish, but i would still be secretly hurt. keep the nano because it's useful and love it because it was a thoughtful gift.
posted by twistofrhyme at 1:17 PM on January 7, 2007

and also, buy her a nano for valentine's day. 2gb. in red.
posted by twistofrhyme at 1:17 PM on January 7, 2007

Having two iPods is great. You can use the nano for working out- anything bigger than that is clumsy for the gym, - and for everything else you'd have the 60 gig.

You can't get rid of her gift or re-gift it to her without hurting her feelings, unless she's very unusual.

Thank her and use her gift. If you end up using the 60 gig more after you receive it for your birthday that is less likely to cause hurt feelings than if you immediately declared her gift not what you wanted. I assume you are not going to ask her for the 60 gig for your birthday, since you mentioned she has a restricted income.
posted by winna at 1:28 PM on January 7, 2007

Twistofrhyme, the red Nano only comes in 4GB or 8GB. Apple store
posted by IndigoRain at 2:16 PM on January 7, 2007

I agree with those who say that you shouldn't get rid of it or get a new ipod. You won't do it without hurting her feelings. 2GB is about 24hours of audio at normal encoding rates; if you listen to your ipod 50% of your life (and still have ears) it won't be that big a deal to change the songs loaded on it every 2 days. I think the best thing to do would be to wait a few years -- the technology will all be fancier anyways (and even the girlfriend might be), so there will be no harm in upgrading then.

Even though my 60GB player is almost full, I pretty much listen to everything on it.

I only have about 10GB of music on my computer right now, but itunes is telling me that that is 5 days of audio. So a full 60GB ipod is around 30 days of continuous audio. So maybe you do listen to everything on it, but the lower bound is that you do that no more than once a month. Just sayin'.
posted by advil at 2:51 PM on January 7, 2007

the technology will all be fancier anyways (and even the girlfriend might be)

er...different...the girlfriend might be different (or fancier, who knows).
posted by advil at 2:52 PM on January 7, 2007 [1 favorite]

You might as well find out now if she's a practical girl or one of those people who freak out at symbolism. That is, unless you want it for the gym, give it to her when you get the new one.
posted by dame at 3:10 PM on January 7, 2007

Tell gf that your mom got you a 60G iPod for your bday already (your bro or sis told you) and you don't want to hurt mom's feelings.....
posted by onepapertiger at 5:46 PM on January 7, 2007

I think the issue here is that it's not like she got a slightly-wrong gift; it's going to come across as if she didn't get an expensive enough gift. Gold earrings that aren't quite right is a different situation from a gadget that's not-ideal simply because it's not the more expensive version.

I agree that you should keep the one she got you, and be glad you have such a generous girlfriend. If after using the Nano for a year or so, you decide you still want a bigger one, you can ask for it then.
posted by occhiblu at 6:10 PM on January 7, 2007

I would keep the nano, and use it. I've used a 60GB iPod, and even though the Video feature was awesome, nothing beats the portability of the nano.

Also, the Apple Store doesn't sell 60GB iPod's anymore. 30GB and 80GB, so if you're insistent on having a 60GB, might want to look elsewhere.

Keep the nano, and let her see you actually using it. And hope she doesn't know your username on metafilter =)
posted by jasmeet at 8:45 PM on January 7, 2007

i said before to buy her a red 2gb for valentine's day. indigorain correctly points out that red 2gbs don't exist. so get her a pink one then. but make sure it's a 2gb. ie, don't buy her a more expensive version of the exact same thing she bought you.

my rationale is this: your mom is gonna get you a 60gb ipod, awesome. an ipod and a nano have different functions, and your nano is sentimental. so you should keep and use both. the fact that nanos are flash-drive (ie, good for high-impact activities) is an ideal justification for this.

your girlfriend wants a nano and she is a nice lady. she deserves a nano. so buy her a nano for valentine's day. please please don't re-gift the special gift that she could barely afford to buy you in the first place but she did because she loves you and then you just give it back because someone else got you the more expensive one two months later. that would be awful. instead, please buy her her own nano, in a different colour. and buy the SAME SIZE nano (ie, 2gb) so you're not outdoing her gift to you. and rhapsodize honestly about how great the 2gb nano is. that's the nice way.
posted by twistofrhyme at 9:11 PM on January 7, 2007

2gb Nanos only come in silver.

That could change, given Macworld starts tomorrow, but for the time being, a pink/red one is 4 gigs or bust.
posted by heeeraldo at 11:05 PM on January 7, 2007

I would wait until Macworld happens. They're about to announce some new stuff, so prices may drop more.

But give her the nano, and ask for the 60/80 gig for your bday. You could even do something nice like prefill the iPod with songs for her. Let her know it's not that you don't appreciate her gesture, but you might get more use out of the bigger model.

Otherwise use both. I use my 8gb nano for the gym and on the go. My 80 gig is reserved for car use and long trips mostly.
posted by PetiePal at 8:56 AM on January 8, 2007

If I were you, I'd just keep the nano and forget about the ipod.

You can't get everything in life, and I just don't see a way you can get rid of the nano without offending her. Is it worth it?

Besides, there's no reason why you can't keep your music on a laptop, and switch it into you Nano periodically.

How much music can you possibly go through in a day? Then again, I'm not much of a music person, so I don't know.
posted by BeaverTerror at 4:22 AM on May 21, 2007