Her face is fine; it doesn't need sandpapering.

November 7, 2006 10:54 PM

Well, this might be an odd one. The girl I am seeing has very delicate skin. I have stubble and it does quite a number on the skin on her chin. Is there anything we can do?

It isn't as though I intentionally have stubble; I shave before we see each other. But, after we've been kissing for a bit, it's obviously doing some damage to her skin. She's being very good-natured about it, but I wish there was a way that this could be avoided. Is there anything I can do? I mean, I shave right before I see her, but by the end of the night, there's a bit of sandpaper-y coarseness going on.

posted by synecdoche to Human Relations (14 answers total)

Either get a professional shave once a week or grow your beard a little bit. You can even actually just grow it to that "sexy stubble" length and put some product on it (I think even simply hair conditioner would work).
posted by Cochise at 10:58 PM on November 7, 2006

The Beard Community (?!) has an answer for you, natch.
posted by chickletworks at 11:03 PM on November 7, 2006 [1 favorite]

Do you use a blade, or electric? Get a brush, shave hot, and use a multi-track blade razor. You should not have enough stubble hours later to cause irritation if you are getting a close shave.
posted by caddis at 11:05 PM on November 7, 2006

Pay particular attention to the beard around your mouth, especially at the edges of your lips, the corners of your mouth and the front of your chin. Double shave these areas, or even counter shave (shave against the grain) if you can.

And don't kiss her so hard, especially early in the evening. Really. Ease up, and relax your lips. Let her deliver the pressure she's comfortable with having. Try "pouching" your lips outward a little at first contact, to offer her more lip surface, and a little less contact with the edges of your lips. Small differences in technique make a great deal of difference in the irritation she experiences.
posted by paulsc at 11:34 PM on November 7, 2006

Have you considered growing your beard and moustache? Long facial hair isn't as irritating as sandpaper-stubble.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 11:46 PM on November 7, 2006

"You can even actually just grow it to that "sexy stubble" length and put some product on it (I think even simply hair conditioner would work)."

This is what I've done when not wearing a full beard or similar.

Beyond growing it out, I can also vouch for the hair conditioner and coconut oil remedies recommended in the beard community FAQ. Both seem to work well and generally I use both.

When I shampoo/condition my hair I do all the hair on my head.
posted by Matt Oneiros at 12:47 AM on November 8, 2006

Aloe vera for her skin in a gel or cream? I use an aloe vera `sunburn relief' type gel as an aftershave and it really stops the irritation.
posted by tomble at 3:25 AM on November 8, 2006

All the remedies for you sound great, but she can also ease the symptoms by putting on a little moisturiser just before she/thetwoofyou go to bed. Also, second the you growing longer stubble idea.
posted by pollystark at 3:37 AM on November 8, 2006

Two of my fuzzy-faced friends use Beardsley products, their girlfriends swear by them.
posted by lia at 5:45 AM on November 8, 2006

If you shave with an electric razor and have stubble , it will hurt her face more. Is there any way you can shave right before you start kissing?

Also, make sure she is using moisturizer on her chin/face afterwards.
posted by mustcatchmooseandsquirrel at 7:07 AM on November 8, 2006

I used to have the same problem. Shave shot after a shower, making sure you use a face wash and/or conditioner on your whiskers.

Shave as close to before seeing her as possible. If your regular blades don't cut it consider switching to a Mercury old-time razor. They still make them and they give an amazingly close shave. It's the last stop before straight edge.
posted by PetiePal at 12:29 PM on November 8, 2006

This is odd? This happens to me with every guy I've ever dated. Nothing much ever helps besides moisturizing a lot and getting used to it. Her skin will probably get used to it. Or you'll stop making out so much. One of the two.
posted by ch1x0r at 4:52 PM on November 8, 2006

Response by poster: Thanks for the tips. I've a Schick Quattro, shave right out of the shower, hot, and as close before the date as I can, but I'll try the moisturizer stuff (and I'll give not shaving for a bit go).

ch1x0r, I thought it odd as II don't recall it happening with any other girl I've been with (at least not to this extent). Maybe my stubble's more wiry as I get older? I don't know. But hopefully her skin gets used to it before we stop making out so much. :)
posted by synecdoche at 5:33 PM on November 8, 2006

Good old pash-rash! Other than the comprehensive and excellent ideas already presented to you, might I suggest that you adjust your focus slightly? Kissing is nice on all sorts of other places too, you know...
posted by ninazer0 at 11:48 PM on November 8, 2006