What can an old lady call her man?
October 24, 2006 5:24 PM   Subscribe

If I'm his old lady, does that make him my old man?

I recently got married, and since I don't enjoy pet names such as "sweetie pie" or "honeybun," I've encouraged my husband to refer to me as his "old lady" since that's hilarious. But what do I call him in return? The urban dictionary suggests that "old man" is an appropriate term, but I just can't call him my "old man" since that term is, in my mind, reserved for my dad.

So what say you, hive mind? What can an old lady call her man? Extra points for nicknames that could come out of the mouth of a biker or trucker.
posted by christinetheslp to Human Relations (50 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
I think Joni Mitchell would disagree:
Late last night
I heard the screen door slam
And a big yellow taxi
Took away my old man
posted by grouse at 5:26 PM on October 24, 2006

Dude, she's not denying it can mean that, she's looking for a different term. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be anything with quite the same combination of panache and hilarity; there's studmuffin, of course, but that doesn't exactly say "husband." I'm afraid hubby and other half are the only terms that come to mind.
posted by languagehat at 5:42 PM on October 24, 2006

I always thought Joni Mitchell was singing that about her father....
posted by gergtreble at 5:42 PM on October 24, 2006

"Old boy". Rather different from "good old boy".
posted by notsnot at 5:44 PM on October 24, 2006

Joni Mitchell has a song called My Old Man. I always thought it was creepy, too.

Here's what thesaurus.com suggests:

bedmate, benedict, bridegroom, buffalo, consort, cuckold, groom, head, helpmate, hubby, main man, man, mate, mister, monogamist, monogynist, old man, other half, polygamist, polygynist, spouse

If all else fails, you could always call him your boo.
posted by granted at 5:45 PM on October 24, 2006

You could also take inspiration from Jean Teasdale and call him "Hubby Rick" (or subsitute his own name, if you wish)
posted by granted at 5:49 PM on October 24, 2006

there's always the gender neutral 'ball and chain'
posted by noloveforned at 5:53 PM on October 24, 2006

Best answer: old fucker?

old bear? (i.e, what kinda animal is he?)

old dude?

old trick?


the warden?

shit kicker?

old yeller?

old baller?

mr fixit?

dirty ol bastard?


doctor funk?

that old stud?

my anchor?

ol hounddog?

Mutt? Jeff?

My ride?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:59 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

Do not call him your "cuckold," ever, unless you want him to file for divorce.

How about biker names, or uber masculine names? Buster, Duke, King, Prince, Jake, Adam, Abe, Able, Atlas, Long John, Tuck, amigo, comrade, Hoss, Brutus, Bluto, Casey, ...........

or one I was never called, but liked, 'cause it had a cool abbreviation: Top Cat (TC)
posted by paulsc at 6:00 PM on October 24, 2006

Best answer: I'm on granted's side. "Hubby ____" is what's commonly used by the trucker branch of my family. Or simply "my hubby."

But you must say it with an accent, almost like MahHuuuuuh-bee.
posted by dogwalker at 6:02 PM on October 24, 2006

Boy Toy? Sure, you'll never hear it from a trucker or biker.

But it seems to have the same amount of irreverence.
posted by Cog at 6:05 PM on October 24, 2006

I call my fiance "Chief."
posted by chiababe at 6:05 PM on October 24, 2006

Have you seen this thread? There's some great stuff there that might work for you.
posted by hot soup girl at 6:06 PM on October 24, 2006

Significant Otter. Or just "otter". ("Sure, I'd love to. Have to ask the Otter if we have any plans I don't know about, though.")

No, it doesn't inherently imply "husband", but "old lady" doesn't inherently imply "wife", either.
posted by Meep! Eek! at 6:08 PM on October 24, 2006 [2 favorites]

"The meal ticket."
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:09 PM on October 24, 2006

Why don't you drop the old and call him your man? You'll need to throw some attitude in to pull it off.
posted by rdr at 6:11 PM on October 24, 2006

"Old man" definitely means dad. I would avoid using towards your studmuffin.
posted by arcticwoman at 6:16 PM on October 24, 2006

Best answer: Yiddish comes to your rescue, since it's such a good language for forming earthy expressions. Consider calling your man alter kocker (literally "old shitter"). In your case, it would be a good equivalent to "old lady," since it's obviously meant in jest, and isn't considered mean-spirited.
posted by rob511 at 6:23 PM on October 24, 2006

Elephant Cock. Nothing else will ever do him justice.
posted by Ufez Jones at 6:30 PM on October 24, 2006

Captain. Nothing says love and mutual understanding more than a sarcastic "aye aye, Capt'n" every once in a while. Bossman has similar potential for snark.

But my personal favorite, from the previous AskMe linked above, is Toots.
posted by chrominance at 6:37 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

My Lover. My Domestic Partner. Dearest. My Escort. The Kid. And in tribute to 6 Feet Under, Your Fuck Puppet.
posted by visual mechanic at 6:45 PM on October 24, 2006

We refer to my husband as "The Baron" sometimes.
posted by Biblio at 6:45 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

If you're his "old lady", that implies you are older than he is. So he should be your "young man".
posted by Hogshead at 7:02 PM on October 24, 2006

Your Baby Daddy. Bonus points if you're childless and intend to remain so.
posted by oats at 7:20 PM on October 24, 2006

Your Bitter Half
posted by Joseph Gurl at 8:02 PM on October 24, 2006

Your "first husband".
posted by mendel at 8:07 PM on October 24, 2006 [3 favorites]

Back in the late '60s/ early '70s (when Joni wrote those songs), "old man" and "old lady" were the preferred spousal terms for those of us who were too hip to say "husband and "wife".
posted by timeistight at 8:10 PM on October 24, 2006

Hows about "Consort" . Like Queen Victoria, her hubby was not the King, he was her Consort...(Few notches lower on the social scale)
posted by JujuB at 8:39 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

Do you plan on having kids ever? Sperm Donor.

Old bastard.

Old fart.

Mr. (or Mrs.) your maiden name

Mr. (or Mrs.) Your first name and maiden name (I like this one much better cause it much better illustrates the ridiculousness of our traditional name-changing conventions)

Dammit his name. But replace dammit with your prefered curse word to insert in front of someones name when you are yelling at them.
posted by gauchodaspampas at 8:57 PM on October 24, 2006

Old lady. As in: "I'd like you to meet John. He's my old lady."
posted by bodega at 9:21 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

I like "my mister." It sounds very Peggy Lee to me.
posted by Brittanie at 9:34 PM on October 24, 2006

Is "old man" meaning dad, versus male partner, a regional thing? It would never, ever, occur to me to refer to my dad as "my old man," or that it would sound creepy to someone else that I referred to my spouse that way. (I've lived in SoCal, Toronto, the American Southeast, and Alaska for significant amounts of time, but I'm not sure I've ever heard "old man" used conventionally anywhere I've lived to mean either one's father or one's significant male other--I use it occasionally and only to mean the latter).

Playfully, the hubby and I also refer to each other as "Ma" and "Pa"--we have two kids, but none (biologically, I mean) in common)--it's more a matter of old-time kitsch mixed with an acknowledgment of our household status. ("Well, I don't know. What do you think, Pa?" works equally well whether the question is the familial, "Can we have dinner Mom/Dad/Cricket/Cricketspouse?" or a friendly invitation a la "We're having a Hallowe'en party, would you guys like to go?")
posted by Cricket at 12:04 AM on October 25, 2006

In the midwest, in the 60's, kids refered to parents as 'old man' and 'old lady', but most especially the former. My mind refuses to focus, but I know at least one popular song used it this way. This sentence was quite common: "If my old man finds out, he'll kick my ass!"

That isn't to say that the terms aren't also used towards one's partner/spouse. Funny enough, I am much more used to hearing a wife called the 'old lady' than the other way around, for whatever reason.
posted by Goofyy at 12:33 AM on October 25, 2006

all this talk of old men reminds me of a song...

"Oh my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat

Next time you see a dustman
Looking all pale and sad
Don't kick him in the dustbin
It might me my old dad"
posted by twistedonion at 2:02 AM on October 25, 2006



The Man
posted by Meatbomb at 4:32 AM on October 25, 2006

I've heard "old man" to mean either father or husband here in the UK- normally father, however. I don't think I've ever heard someone being called "old lady", unless it was in response to being called "old man".

I vote for him, with appropriate inflection.
posted by flameproof at 4:38 AM on October 25, 2006

I am partial to The Boy. But that may not work for you, in which case I would second The Otter. Also, I've known "old man" to refer to both father & husband.
posted by dame at 6:09 AM on October 25, 2006

Sugar daddy.
posted by jedicus at 6:39 AM on October 25, 2006

Being the "The Old Man" in question, I'm partial to "elephant cock" or "co-cat keeper" mostly because 1) it's appropriate 2) it reminds me of trapper keepers, which make me nostalgic for the car one I had in fifth grade.

Beast Master would be good too.
posted by drezdn at 6:41 AM on October 25, 2006

"Piece of ass"?
posted by orange swan at 6:46 AM on October 25, 2006

His Nibs.
posted by orange swan at 6:48 AM on October 25, 2006

These may be too subservient, but... His Lordship. His Highness. Master (best said in a grovelling Igor-type tone, or sprightly I Dream of Jeannie-like tone. ). Sir. His High and Mightiness (this is what George Washington wanted to be called). His Grace.
posted by orange swan at 6:54 AM on October 25, 2006


The Inamorato.
posted by goo at 7:42 AM on October 25, 2006

Old lady and Old man are pretty well known 60's expressions, I have to say. For me they're hilarious expressions because they're outdated and remind me of old bikers, which up until this moment I never realised that I found amusing.
posted by ob at 8:11 AM on October 25, 2006

"The Mister"
"He Who Must Not Be Named"
"That Guy"
posted by ChromeDome at 3:40 PM on October 25, 2006

posted by Meatbomb at 9:38 AM on October 26, 2006

"Sugar Tits"?
posted by hatchetjack at 2:10 PM on October 26, 2006

This thread really needs a best answer.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:27 PM on October 26, 2006

I could never dream of appropriating this for myself because it would be like plagiarism, I know of one personage who refers to her now-husband as "the Bandit."

Somehow it's perfect. So perfect I wish I'd thought it up. *jealous*
posted by dorothy humbird at 5:50 PM on October 31, 2006

Personally, I'd prefer Captain Awesome.
posted by drezdn at 10:04 AM on November 2, 2006

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