Oh WOW this will be bad!
September 29, 2006 12:39 PM   Subscribe

Today I find myself in a precarious situation. I am a college student who happens to live in a four bedroom apartment with two other guys; however, I have discoverd that one of my roommates is flying his internet girlfriend in from Alaska on Saturday morning so that they can live together (The story gets better/worse - they developed their relationship through playing Warcraft).

I am usually open minded about siuations similar to this, but I have some deep reservations over the matter. I first met David when he moved into the apartment, as he was a friend of my other roommate. Since I've been living in the apartment, I've noticed that David spends almost his entire day and night playing Warcraft. He rarely makes it to any of his classes, mostly due to the fact that he is too tired from playing Warcraft. David also tends to have some problems with remembering personal hygiene when he gets caught up with playing Warcraft (my other roommate has tried several times to get the game's administrators to message David and tell him he needs to take a shower; however, this plea for help has been ignored). Although we could have just came in his room and confronted him there, actually getting through to him would be a problem because he is so entrenched in leading his guild in search of new armor.

Apparently David and this girl from Alaska have been having phone conversations for eight hours at a time (from what I've heard). I don't know of anyone in a relationship who talks for eight hours straight. At least this is just talk, but the big shocker will come when David (and his roommates) actually meets this girl for the first time. For one thing, David has never met the girl in person - only seen pictures. David seems to, from what I have heard disregard the possibility that she may not be who he thinks. I could accept this if she was just staying over to visit and meet, but they have decided to live together - as if they were in a long term committed relationship before. Like I said, this can't end well. The reason I say "from what I've heard," is because David has not actually talked to me about this (and it is Friday). I was at the Campus Union and I saw my other roommate who brought the matter to my attention. David informed him Thursday night that this girl would be arriving in Omaha on Saturday morning.

David told my roommate that they would pay extra for electricity (apparently they will be playing Warcraft at the same time), but he didn't mention anything about paying additional money for the rent and gas bill. Of course my other roommate did not inform David that this girl, if she is to live with us, she will be required to chip in on the costs. David thinks that she will just live in his room 24/7 and not use the bathroom, kitchen, living room, or any other part of the apartment. Something tells me that this girl doesn't have much money, especially considering the fact that she's 19, plays Warcraft all the time, and had David pay $300 for a one-way ticket to Nebraska. Once she is here though, how exactly will me and my other roommate get rid of her if she or David doesn't pay? I am afraid that David thinks he is pulling a fast one by talking to my other roommate because he knew there wouldn't be any inconvenient questions. My other roommate is tends to avoid confrontation whereas I tend to seek it. Unfortunately I don't think that I will be able to confront him before she arrives due to school related projects and general homework. I think he may have even already left for Omaha by now.

While me and my other roommate worry about David, I can't help but also be concerned for the girl and what she might experience living with David. If there is any good which can come from this, David will shave and take showers regularly. But if he doesn't and she is stranded here, what happens then? Would David be willing to pay for her to be sent back? What she stays around when the love falls apart (may I remind readers that this could happen the first time they meet). My other roommate has his own concerns, mainly the fact that his room is next to David's and has walls which are no so thick. I wish we could send this girl back, and talk some sense into David, but this doesn't seem to be the case in the slightest regard. Maybe this will work out for everyone, but there are many more reasons this will turn out for the worse than the better.
posted by j-urb to Human Relations (92 answers total) 66 users marked this as a favorite
Response by poster: ***Where does she stay when the love falls apart? (may I remind readers that this could happen the first time they meet).
posted by j-urb at 12:42 PM on September 29, 2006

You probably need to look into finding a new place to live. Check craigslist. I don't know what your lease situation is, but I think living with two hygenically unsound folks doesn't sound like the most pleasant of ideas. David might need help for internet addiction.
posted by matkline at 12:43 PM on September 29, 2006

i don't think you have anything to worry about. i bet david has been scammed, and there will be no 'girlfriend' flying in from alaska. (but i bet she says she needs more money to make the next flight!)
posted by lester's sock puppet at 12:44 PM on September 29, 2006

I wouldn't worry too much. It sounds like your roomate just got taken for a $300.00 ride.
posted by Gungho at 12:44 PM on September 29, 2006

You need to step back a little here.

1. You don't really have any obligation to this woman. Don't get caught up worrying about what will happen to her. She's an adult, she's making her own choices, they don't really have anything to do with you. Don't get roped into them.

2. Your roommate is being irresponsible in moving someone into his room without consulting everyone else. You all need to sit down (even if it's after she's arrived) and talk this through to a conclusion. You agreed to one set of circumstances when you moved in, and one of you can't just unilaterally significantly change those circumstances and not be willing to re-negotiate terms.

3. If that discussion goes badly, move out. It's not worth continued drama.

It sounds like you want to help him, and be a good person, and those are good things, but it does no one any good if you're resentful or in the middle of all this (potential) drama. It'll just add flames to the fire.
posted by occhiblu at 12:48 PM on September 29, 2006 [1 favorite]

It sounds like despite saying you're willing to seek confrontation, your behavior belies this. You could go in and confront him directly about hygiene - but you don't. You could go and confront him about this crazy impending situation - but you're too busy.

Stop making excuses. This is a disaster waiting to happen.
You need to confront David, and tell him that you are not okay with this situation, because you were not even asked before he extended the offer. Talk to the other roomie and decide how many days is okay for an out-of-state visitor. After that, she needs to get a hotel or go home.

And start looking for a new apartment - your roomie is complicit in the foot-dragging that's led to this. I don't think David's going to be happy when you (solo or with the roomie) put the kibosh on his plans.
posted by canine epigram at 12:48 PM on September 29, 2006

If she's REAL: Most leases do *not* allow parties not actually on it to live full-time in the house. What does your lease say? Because I assume your landlord wouldn't be happy about this. There's one way to deal with the situation---call her up.
posted by changeling at 12:48 PM on September 29, 2006

Maybe this will work out for everyone, but then again, maybe you could approach David on your own volition and take charge of the situation. It has nothing to do with whether you think the relationship lasts or your sense of the entertainment value of an online videogame. Who moves in new roommates without consulting the existing ones?
posted by rhizome at 12:50 PM on September 29, 2006

Some of this is troubling for your friend, but not-your-business in that weird sort of "Well, it's his funeral" way.

But some of this certainly is your deal.

New roommates in the apartment pay rent. That's it. You don't "spring" a new roommate on people. Even if they're sharing the bedroom, maybe she doesn't pay 1/5, but there's something additional (water, bathroom, kitchen, whatever).

Also, even if they had known each other for 10 years and were married and stable and everything is wonderful, no one else signed up to room with a couple. (I'm assuming there are no girl roommates right now.) Living with friends vs. living with a couple is a different deal that very few people would want to sign up for. The WOW roommate should at least clear it with you.

On the relationship front, nothing you say to him is gonna logic him out of it. I had a friend in the same situation ('cept it was a MUD, 'cause I'm old). She moved in, despite everyone's worries. They had a semi-stable and semi-good relationship for a year before it crashed and burned into a horrific mess. People in college make relationship mistakes and nothing you can say is going to change that. If he's a friend, tell him what you think once. Once she's there, don't give him crap. And if it crashes and burns, don't do the "I told you so."

And if he's not a friend, it's not your business except for the unauthorized roommate situation. Deal with just that.
posted by Gucky at 12:50 PM on September 29, 2006 [1 favorite]

At least you have another roommate so you can gang up on him if need be. I'm going to assume he wasn't scammed for the time being:

Give them, at max two weeks. That's standard "old friend from out of town coming into to visit" time frame. Spell this out to him. Tell him after two weeks she cannot be living with you any longer, even if she pays. Why? Because two antisocial kids who haven't presumably had a relationship before and are apparently immature are going to be a pain in the ass.
posted by geoff. at 12:54 PM on September 29, 2006

Please blog this in all its hilarious detail! This could make you famous!

Also, since you love confrontation, please confront. At least demand money for bills. It's not really your problem if they don't bathe or leave the house, but she can't be living off you free.

And, once again, I'd really like to hear how this turns out. Do the internet a favor and post updates.
posted by thirteenkiller at 12:56 PM on September 29, 2006 [4 favorites]

I think that this is going to fall apart rather quickly, and David might be in for a big life lesson that might shock him out of his computer addict ways. I'd plan on moving eventually, but if you've been able to put up with him for now you'll probably only have to tolerate it being worse, and the presence of this random female, for a week or two.

Getting along well online, or even on the phone, is no guarantee there will be any personal chemistry. The normal way to do this sort of thing would be for her to visit, stay a day or two nearby (NOT in his room), and see how things go. He's staking a lot on the idea that this is capital-L love (one way ticket? oh boy) and has probably decided she's nearly perfect. There's going to be a mutual letdown on both sides, I would bet.

Please feel free to come back to this thread and update us, though. Based on the experiences a few friends have had, I predict there will be a crazy fight or awkwardness followed by much financial fretting about how she's going to pay for anything, let alone a ticket home.

So is David's current life sustainable without a woman there, by your estimation?

P.S. This is most likely chatfilter since you really only ask how to get rid of her... trust me, the situation will likely resolve itself.
posted by mikeh at 12:56 PM on September 29, 2006

Where does she stay when the love falls apart?

Would somebody please page the guy who wrote that "Matthew Chen is Spamming" and "Matthowie's Community weblog" and let him know we have another song waiting to be written?

Personally, I think having a roommate who never comes out of his room would be an ideal living situation.

This is pretty simple. She pays her share (or he pays it for her) or she cannot stay there.
posted by bondcliff at 12:58 PM on September 29, 2006

Oh and a bit about the inevitable flight home. Personally I would show some mercy and try to get the other roommate to help pony up the return flight money. David may be all pissy and not wanting to pay but you definitely will want this mess out of your life. Trust me $300 split in two is not the cost of the drama.
posted by geoff. at 12:59 PM on September 29, 2006

You might want to consider visiting your student health center and talking to one of the mental health conselors with your concerns about David's well-being. It sounds like he's having some serious problems that might be related to depression and an internet addiction. Since he's a student too, maybe they can offer some help to him?
posted by jasper411 at 12:59 PM on September 29, 2006 [1 favorite]

You never mentioned anything about moving out yourself. It doesn't sound like either of your roomates are extremely close friends and rather than get involved in a situation that you seem to want to avoid in the first place, why not just move out?

Of course, you could just wait and watch David get scammed. Maybe when he gets back from Omaha he might want to step away from the WoW world for a little while.
posted by purephase at 1:01 PM on September 29, 2006

Response by poster: Im am friends with Roommate #3 who is friends with David. We all signed the lease in August, so we have a ways to go. Moving and finding another apartment in the middle of a semester would be pretty rough though. I regret not talking to him about not showering, but that isn't indicative of how I behave (and for today, I have LSAT to study plus 4 long papers that are due next week). Thanks for all the advice so far...
posted by j-urb at 1:06 PM on September 29, 2006

I would say relax, don't worry about anything for now.

There's a rather good chance that this girl doesn't show up. If that happens, you're in the clear and you get to be privately amused at your roommate.

If she does show up, there's a rather good chance that she and he have a giant flameout, she goes home to Alaska, and you get to be privately amused at your roommate.

If she does show up and turns out to be decent, she might turn him into a decent roommate who actually attends classes, etc. She might be fun to be around. Then you get to be happy for your roommate.

And finally, she might show up and be a fat lazy slob who sits around your apartment eating your food all day and never showering. That would be bad.

You don't know which of the above will happen, but there are many "good" outcomes and only one bad one. Relax for now, wait and see, and if the bad one comes to be, write another question here titled "How do I get rid of my roommate's girlfriend?"

(Do come back and post in this thread on Saturday, telling us whether the girlfriend actually showed up.)
posted by jellicle at 1:07 PM on September 29, 2006

Response by poster: If this is a scam, I would be pretty thrilled.
posted by j-urb at 1:07 PM on September 29, 2006 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: I will of course keep people posted and let everyone know how this turns out (considering tomorrow is the big day).
posted by j-urb at 1:08 PM on September 29, 2006

jellicle has it. The chances of the first two scenarios are pretty high (believe me, I have known numerous internet couples who have ended up with #2), and if either of the second two happen, you can easily kick them out for not ponying up their share of the rent and utilities. Lay down the law and explain that couples in an apartment don't get a break - 4 people = each one pays 1/4 (or whatever y'all worked out at the beginning).
posted by muddgirl at 1:14 PM on September 29, 2006

There's another aspect of this to consider. A person who nobody really knows anything about is coming to live with you. She could easily be a 16 year old runaway (explains the need for subsidized transport, but still having internet access/WOW). Alternately she could be a deranged psychopath travelling from state to state killing WOW rivals. I'd a) keep my room locked, and b) call nebraska PDs afer a couple of days asking about runaways.
posted by UESMark at 1:18 PM on September 29, 2006 [1 favorite]

Because you're studying for the LSATs, I'm assuming you're a senior/close to graduating.
I second the school's counseling center. It may be useful for you to maintain your grip on things happening outside your control, including (but not limited to) the new roommate situation.
Good luck!
posted by lilithim at 1:20 PM on September 29, 2006

What's the question, again? I read a long story and a whole bunch questions. Can you boil it down into an answerable question?

My response is horror that your roommate is bringing someone else in to live with you. In your shoes, I'd be thinking, "Wait?!? I agreed to live with four people -- not FIVE!" I would immediately confront my roommate and tell him it's not acceptable.

But that's me. Is your agreement with your roommates one that allows them to bring outsiders into the house to LIVE?
posted by grumblebee at 1:20 PM on September 29, 2006

The personal stuff is none of your business. The money end is. Focus on that. He will be much cleaner.

Call the landlord if there is a problem.
posted by Ironmouth at 1:22 PM on September 29, 2006

I'd add my voice to the legal aspect of this - I presume you're renting non-campus housing. You can't just add another person like that. If she shows up, wait it out just a few days, and then go to your leasing agency. (We got a nasty form letter in our door just the other day about extra/non-registered occupants/pets, even though neither situation applies to us.)
posted by cobaltnine at 1:26 PM on September 29, 2006

If she does show up check her ID. My 18 year old roomate in college moved a guy into the house and it turned out he was a 15 year old runaway.

That and kick gameboy's ass out and get a new roommate.
posted by fshgrl at 1:28 PM on September 29, 2006

I'm not a lawyer but lived with tons of roommates throughout the years.

Who's name is on the lease? Is everyone on the lease? Or just you?

(Finger's Crossed) Hopefully you have everything in writing, but if you're on the lease alone and have written agreements, then you're in charge. You can simply point out the legal agreement that the sublease or any agreement is for him only.

Quite frankly, this sounds rather undesirable to me and I'd give him two months notice for HIM to move out (not you!!) (Unless his name is on the lease in which case I'd give notice and start looking, but it doesn't sound like he's in a situation to be on the lease).

I totally agree with this previous statement:

1. You don't really have any obligation to this woman. Don't get caught up worrying about what will happen to her. She's an adult, she's making her own choices, they don't really have anything to do with you. Don't get roped into them.

2. Your roommate is being irresponsible in moving someone into his room without consulting everyone else. You all need to sit down (even if it's after she's arrived) and talk this through to a conclusion. You agreed to one set of circumstances when you moved in, and one of you can't just unilaterally significantly change those circumstances and not be willing to re-negotiate terms.

You didn't sign onto his sharing his room with anyone, you didn't sign on for the impending drama - and living with a couple is difficult. I know, I was once that couple.

... and if someone moves in, they pay rent. You're not being a 'bad guy' if this bad roommate is trying to take advantage of you or fleece you - and that's what he's doing. Personally, I couldn't care less about his habits unless he's attracting bugs, making common rooms a mess or not paying his bills/rent, but bring in a new person is a major NO-NO. His relationships have nothing to do with you, and it's a bad idea to not nip this in the bud - immediately!
posted by eatdonuts at 1:31 PM on September 29, 2006 [1 favorite]

You need to meet this head on RIGHT NOW. Put whatever kind of good/bad relationship you have with David aside and treat this as a business matter.

1. Decide if you would be comfortable with another roommate at all.
2. Get your roommates together and lay down rules and conditions, such as how long she can stay before she becomes a rent-and-utilities-paying roommate, how much her portion will be, if she gets keys, etc. Be prepared to compromise but be firm and don't let David try to sneak out of what you want.
3. When the mystery girl arrives, have another meeting including her and lay down all the rules decided in #2.
posted by junesix at 1:43 PM on September 29, 2006

Just /gquit and find a new place to live. Sure its not fair but it sounds like both your roommates are irresonsible and this is just the icing on the cake. Trust me its going to feel like you're living with 3 teenage children soon enough. No jobs, no work. no prospect, and addicted to games. I'd just go before it gets worse. Of course this is pessamistic advice, there are probalby lots of people out there who could work this out, shape up David, help Tiffany with the groceries, etc but not me. Life is difficult enough without raising "roomate children."
posted by damn dirty ape at 1:52 PM on September 29, 2006

xmutex: Jesus, how does World of Warcraft do this to people?

A number of gaming blogs have discussed this but short answer is Blizzard did a superb job at making an easy-to-play yet highly addictive game. WOW's ability to turn people into zombies is no accident and Blizzard has publicly acknowledged this. On the loading screen, game tips are displayed and one of them goes so far as to suggest going outside into the real world every once in a while. WOW has a very low learning curve/barrier-to-entry and player advancement also occurs relatively quickly (compared to other MMORPGs) which mimics getting repeated shots of a "high." Game objectives are designed in ways to encourage cooperative play, which in turn facilitates informal (friends) and formal social constructs (guilds). Once that's built up, it's the same as any another immersive social community a la MySpace.
posted by junesix at 2:09 PM on September 29, 2006

Either find a way to get out of there or put you foot down right away. Do not wait unti she has been there for a while (assuming she is real, or that she shows up) before bringing it up, let him know right away that if she is staying it will only be temporarily and that he is going to pay for her. If he does not like that then he can leave.

Also please blog this whole ordeal, you know so that we can give you helpful advice...
posted by BobbyDigital at 2:17 PM on September 29, 2006

I'd just like to affirm a couple pieces of advice:

- School counselor. Girl or not, this guy isn't going to class because of an addiction. He needs help, badly.

- Absolutely ask to see ID from this person. You don't want to get involved with minors.

- If she walks in your floor, sits in your chair, and poops in your toilet, she pays rent.

- Blog.

Though my sneaking suspicion is that she's not coming.
posted by mkultra at 2:21 PM on September 29, 2006

Definitely update us.

I think if I was you I would either try to get this hurf durf butter eater loser out or get out myself. There comes a point where people show themselves to be not worthy of the respect or proper treatment you generally give to others. I think playing WOW all day every day and inviting others of that kind to live with you counts.

And really hope this shows up somewhere as "The Time I Pretended To Be A Girl and Took Some Loser For $300."
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 2:27 PM on September 29, 2006

Well, maybe you could give it a chance. I have 3 guy friends who share an apartment. When one of their girlfriends unofficially became the "4th roommate", she did things like baked them all cookies and cleaned the apartment for them (because the 3 college guys didn't clean it themselves, of course).

This probably won't happen, and she'll probably wind up killing you all in your sleep and stealing your wallets, but there's maybe a 1% chance that things could wind up better with the girl around.

Dying to hear the exciting conclusion either way. Good luck!
posted by tastybrains at 2:29 PM on September 29, 2006

How long has this guy been blowing off class? Two friends of mine pulled this for one semester before getting thrown out on their keisters.

It was a small school, but still...
posted by 4ster at 2:30 PM on September 29, 2006

When I was in college (seven guys in the house already), a couple of my roommates invited a guy to sleep on our couch for a few nights. Which turned into a month. He had a fucking Labrador with him. It was both the stupidest and, in retrospect only, funniest month of my life.

If the girl is real, then I vote for you to blog.
posted by Bookhouse at 2:32 PM on September 29, 2006

Either you and the sane roommate decide to tell David that this is bullshit and he needs to move out or you should move out yourself.

This girl isn't your problem and you owe her nothing. And David has incredible chutzpah to think that he can move someone in without discussing it with you guys.

Get rid of the dirtball. He stinks and he's got more than a few loose screws IMHO.
posted by bim at 2:36 PM on September 29, 2006

1. Check the lease. Determine whether this is allowed.

2. Call a house meeting. If it is allowed on the lease and you are comfortable with the girl staying here, say she needs to pay an equal share of rent, electricity, water bills, food, etc. If not, tell David this shit is not happening.

If things get messy, call your landlord. S/he will hopefully ensure David toes the line.
posted by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on September 29, 2006

And may I nth that this is indeed an awesome situation and frequent updates are a must.
posted by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on September 29, 2006

Indeed. I have all sorts of drinking to do tonight, and more of it to do tomorrow (ah, law school...) but I'll definately be checking for updates.

Fight the good fight.
posted by craven_morhead at 3:07 PM on September 29, 2006

I know you're busy with work, but house meeting, NOW. If not now, immediately after the lovebirds return from the airport. Lay down the law. Cite the lease as necessary to support your points. If they seem likely to try to screw with you and/or ignore the lease, call the landlord. And yes, check her ID. If she got on an airplane, she has to have one. If she doesn't, call the cops ASAP.

Personality issues aside, since your name is (presumably) on the lease, you have some degree of liability for crazy shit that happens in your house, so getting it sorted, or turning it in to the landlord as soon as possible, is self-preservation on your part.
posted by Alterscape at 3:31 PM on September 29, 2006

And yes, whatever happens, blog this. Instant celebrity!
posted by Alterscape at 3:32 PM on September 29, 2006

If Mom & Dad are paying David's tuition and/or rent, I suspect this WoW lifestyle will likely get shut-down when this semester's grades get sent home.
posted by ericb at 3:46 PM on September 29, 2006

You've gotten plenty of good advice, but I'd like to specifically recommend that you get a doorknob that locks by key. It is really not to hard to install one as long as your doors are relatively normal. When I had roommates, I bought one and popped it in on my bedroom door the first or second day, with just a screwdriver. I'd also give an extra key to a neutral (non-roommate) third party. Aside from getting screwed on the bills, it'd be even worse to come back one day and find all your CDs, movies, cash, TVs, laptops, iPods, and etc. missing.

Oh, and you MUST fire up Blogger tonight, and post it in MeFi Projects ASAP. This is the kind of thing that requires daily updates.
posted by MrZero at 3:52 PM on September 29, 2006

Good idea, MrZero! You also might want to consider getting something like security locks for your windows, if you don't have some already. No need to get paranoid - this is just good common sense.
posted by muddgirl at 3:58 PM on September 29, 2006

If she's cute and friendly and gets along with all you guys without setting one against the the other, and if she's not inordinately expensive, I think you guys should keep her around.
posted by davy at 4:19 PM on September 29, 2006

If she shows up and she's not cute or particularly domestic, then all you have to do is call the landlord. If she's not on the lease, she can't stay there long-term.

Be sure to snap a pic of her expression when she first sees him for your blog.
posted by Mr. Gunn at 6:16 PM on September 29, 2006

I anxiously await your blog's URL and all the details you wish to share. :-)

One thing I haven't seen mentioned though - if she's 'moving' from Alaska via airplane on a ticket that was purchased for her - and they intend to both play WoW - where will her PC come from? Is she showing up at the airport with a duffel bag in one arm and her PC boxed up in another?

And honestly - even at 19, you would question the mental stability of someone who would move that far away from home, with no money, no means of support and no means of returning home, to live with someone you've only met on the internet.

Meeting up with someone you met on WoW/Internet is one thing. Crossing a continent penniless to move in with someone is kinda creepy/scary.
posted by MarkLark at 6:20 PM on September 29, 2006

Bah, how bad can it be? You're in college, and focusing on your grades. I'd wait to see how things turn out after two weeks, if things are bad then you have legal recourse. Otherwise I wouldn't worry too much, the chances of the two of them being to live together in 1 room for more than 2 weeks is close to nil.
posted by Vindaloo at 6:36 PM on September 29, 2006

FWIW, I know someone who moved directly from internet relationship 3000 miles away to live with someone. They met over MUDs but same diff, right?

Just saying this could very well be real. I would recc you move out though, as well. Living with crazy people just sucks.
posted by shownomercy at 7:40 PM on September 29, 2006

"Alternately she could be a deranged psychopath travelling from state to state killing WOW rivals. "

This is the funniest thread I have read on here in years. This had better not be viral marketing or I'm putting on my giant clown shoes and coming down there.
posted by craniac at 7:57 PM on September 29, 2006

Not sure what business any of this is to you except money/contractual issues and maybe the lack of showering.
posted by melt away at 8:06 PM on September 29, 2006

ok. i think you need to move in on her. your roommate's a loser, and she'll probably want to dump him in a day or two, anyway. if she's smart enough to get out of aalasky, you have a winner.
posted by lester's sock puppet at 8:23 PM on September 29, 2006

duh. *alaska*
posted by lester's sock puppet at 8:23 PM on September 29, 2006

Not just a blog. PICTURES. We need pictures.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:20 PM on September 29, 2006

Response by poster: Yeah, but at least in that case the police can take her back. :)
posted by j-urb at 11:29 PM on September 29, 2006

Hey j-urb, since your roommate Chris spends all his time on the internets, aren't you even remotely worried that he'll find this thread, and then your blog, and then he and his crazy runaway girlfriend will chop you up and use your organs to bait their bear traps?
posted by dersins at 11:53 PM on September 29, 2006

My instinct is that this is not a scam on her part, but I do agree with the people who are worried about the safety of (at least) your possessions and (possibly) your person. I think an excellent first step would be a good locking doorknob for your room (also remembering that any internet addict worth his/her salt can easily find lock-picking instructions), and an excellent second step would be a good long think about what options you have to go live with more stable, adult roommates ASAP.
posted by lorimer at 12:16 AM on September 30, 2006

You know, I realize I should be saying "what options you have for getting David out" rather than implying it's your responsibility to get up & leave. (You and Alex are the responsible adults who should be allowed to stay, obviously.)
posted by lorimer at 12:22 AM on September 30, 2006

I predict (especially given the blog and the inherent interestingness of the subject matter, for so many reasons) that this may get big FAST.

I can imagine you might be frustrated, disoriented and angry, but also excited in that strange way that comes from something big about to happen that could be any mix of ridiculous, funny, horrible, happy, tragic, etc. -- and perhaps about to happen with quite an audience. I hope you can take a breath before you put up each blog entry and think about what you want to make this into, because in a certain way you're in control (in that a whole hell of a lot of people may start listening into this story, and you get to present it from your perspective and choose how much exposure is involved, on all levels).

Remember: the internet remembers everything...
posted by allterrainbrain at 12:42 AM on September 30, 2006 [2 favorites]

And for god's sakes do something about the fact that the OTHER blog listed in your blogger profile has your real name on it.

No, I'm not going to link to it.
posted by dersins at 12:49 AM on September 30, 2006

Back for another thought: if you won't consider the privacy issues here in human/ethical terms, try considering them in legal terms. For a guy who's considering law school, you're already being surprisingly reckless here (both in that you're forgetting how litigious people can be and in that encouraging this to explode would not be good for your future, whether or not you go into law).

If your real name is or was on a connected blog, and if this entire situation is real (which I think it is), I expect anyone can find out a full name & contact info for "David" just from what you've already put up.

Regardless of whether, legally, this is invasion of privacy, defamation, slander, harrassment, or any combo of those... is he the suin' type?? (Or are his parents, for that matter? It really sounds like both he and this girlfriend may not be functional adults even if they're legally of age. THINK OF THE CHILDREN!! But seriously.. think of the children.)
posted by allterrainbrain at 2:19 AM on September 30, 2006

posted by torpark at 7:45 AM on September 30, 2006

1. Your roomate can play WoW as much as he likes as long as he pays the rent and bills. Get over it.
2. Your roomate can meet people that he has had relationships with online. Get over it.
3. We're only hearing one side of the story here and it's smelling of a nosey and paranoid person.
4. Just tell Chris that you guys don't want a new roomate that you haven't met.

posted by melt away at 8:40 AM on September 30, 2006 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: On the other blog I had posted sort of "academic assignments." I did not realize that both blogs were connected since I am sort of new to blogspot. This is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. The first thing I am going to do when he gets back is have big talk with him regardless of who shows up.

4. Just tell Chris that you guys don't want a new roomate that you haven't met.

But he's flying her in from Alaska. It's sort of like Iraq where you touch it you keep it. How do we send her back?!
posted by j-urb at 8:52 AM on September 30, 2006

he's david here. he's chris there.
posted by quonsar at 8:53 AM on September 30, 2006

she'll turn out to be xteraco's sister.
posted by quonsar at 8:55 AM on September 30, 2006 [5 favorites]

1. Your roomate can play WoW as much as he likes as long as he pays the rent and bills. Get over it.
2. Your roomate can meet people that he has had relationships with online. Get over it.
3. We're only hearing one side of the story here and it's smelling of a nosey and paranoid person.
4. Just tell Chris that you guys don't want a new roomate that you haven't met.


Let me guess, you're another WoW addict? :)

While you're right that this is only one side of the story, I find it extremely hard to believe that there's any way to construe this situation as anything but messed up. And I say this as someone who currently plays a lot of WoW, and is living with/engaged to someone I met on an online game-related messageboard.

There's having fun playing games, and meeting people online; then there's totally neglecting real life for said games, and hooking up a known runaway with a one-way plane ticket, expecting to board them in a shared apartment without informing the other people beforehand.
posted by cyrusdogstar at 9:15 AM on September 30, 2006

HA! I was just reading his blog and the last entry mentioned," I hear the door".

I hit refresh and:


Time for a house meeting..."

Thanks for the laffs j-urb. Good luck at law school.
posted by Rock Steady at 9:17 AM on September 30, 2006

Moral of the story: make sure you somehow get laid before you pay for the non-refundable one-way ticket.
posted by Justinian at 9:24 AM on September 30, 2006

Ah, the timeless drama of internet scams. This thread is beautiful!
posted by synaesthetichaze at 11:20 AM on September 30, 2006

I'm adding j-urb's blog to my rss feed as we speak. Congrats, dude. Sometimes, problems solve themselves.

Maybe David should call the school's mental health office and make an appointment. That boy's got problems.
posted by bim at 12:00 PM on September 30, 2006

I'd recommend keeping this blog up, even if the whole thing has blown over. I am going to bet that you will have several awesome tales about this kid over the next year, and I also just bookmarked your blog.
posted by MrZero at 12:45 PM on September 30, 2006

Smells like Loneygirl15 in here.
posted by damn dirty ape at 1:47 PM on September 30, 2006

Sock puppet wins by a nose.
posted by Gungho at 2:27 PM on September 30, 2006

Yeah, this seems rather fake. If not, why are you posting their private crap on a blog anyway? Did they ask you to? Why don't you mind your own business.
posted by delmoi at 4:07 PM on September 30, 2006

Who got scammed Me, David or Chris. I smell a rat.
posted by Gungho at 5:04 PM on September 30, 2006

Well, that was a waste of everybody's time.
posted by nowonmai at 9:15 AM on October 1, 2006

"Crossing a continent penniless to move in with someone is kinda creepy/scary."

Let me guess: most of y'all who think this are under 25, American, white, suburban-raised, overprotected, with a fear-based repertoire. If more people in the 1600-1700s were like you all North America would still be Indian territory.

I don't see anything "creepy/scary" -- I see two people doing something brave that might or might not work out.

Tell me, is hitchhiking also "creepy/scary"? Just think, two total strangers in a car together!
posted by davy at 9:24 AM on October 1, 2006

With that extra meta-post that draws attention to the thread again this feels extra viral-ly.
posted by dabitch at 2:00 PM on October 1, 2006

With that extra meta-post that draws attention to the thread again this feels extra viral-ly.

Yeah, and now there's a post in Projects about the blog, too.
posted by Keane at 3:57 PM on October 1, 2006

109 users marked a scam as a favorite. Perhaps MeFi is given too much credit as being an intelligent community. Or people of any intelligence love the smell of a good drama. No wonder more and more TV shows focus on the hour length drama series.
posted by SeizeTheDay at 9:02 PM on October 1, 2006

So what is this? A scam about a scam?

Somewhere else in the Internet, j-urb is posting about how he is scamming Metafilter with this story about a scam... and those posts are in some way a scam as well, and somewhere there is a ring of people sitting at their computers laughing at us. But they are also being scammed.... OH MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF SCAMS!!!
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 9:09 PM on October 1, 2006 [2 favorites]

So what is this? A scam about a scam?

Dude, who fucking cares? It's entertaining. That's all I ask from the internet. If you ask more of it, you're making a terrible error.
posted by dersins at 10:53 PM on October 1, 2006 [2 favorites]

So has the mefi detective squad figured out if this is real yet?
posted by craniac at 7:05 AM on October 2, 2006

that's lester's sock puppet, mind you. and i've certainly done a bit of hitchhiking, too.
posted by lester's sock puppet at 7:35 AM on October 2, 2006

It's not very entertaining at the moment, since j-urb hasn't updated the blog or here since leaving us all hanging on the 30th. Though he posted to MeFi Projects on the 1st, which mystifies me. What's the point?
posted by litlnemo at 4:29 PM on October 4, 2006

Heh, and now the whole blog is gone.
posted by litlnemo at 2:37 PM on October 22, 2006

Well this was dissapointing.... and I was way off base. Not a WoW addict, by the way . Can't stand it or other MMOs.
posted by melt away at 6:47 AM on October 30, 2006

Response by poster: Hi. Well looks like I should explain something. It is real, I just don't want to talk about it or deal with it anymore in the context of a blog. I was just looking for advice on the situation. Someone suggested I start a blog and I did. Bad call. The best thing for everyone is to let it go. I mean look, I don't want to be known as 'the guy who has a retarded roommate.' There's a lot of other things I would much rather be known for than that. Ok, some people are disappointed, you know what, there are plenty of things in this world which are way more important issues than a spoiled kid from the suburbs who has no social skills and is addicted to the Internet. I hope you all can respect what I am saying whether or not you agree. The lives of my roommate(s) are pretty insignificant. I know its fun to make fun of other peoples problems, and maybe I'm a hypocrite, but those two aren't the ones we should be worrying about. If you have any questions just ask them, any personal attacks just say them, but I'm not doing the blog again. Lesson learned.
posted by j-urb at 7:41 PM on November 4, 2006

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