Am I OCD?
September 3, 2006 2:01 PM Subscribe
Do I have OCD or another disorder? Am I just weird? Tales of collecting and buying inside.
I've been terribly depressed lately. After a lot of thinking by myself and fighting with my SO I've determined that this is heavily due to my recent change from working stiff to student. When I had a job and money, I'd buy myself things to feel good. The bigger bargain the better. I love coupon code websites, eBay, sales, etc. I would easily buy 2-4 things a week.
Now that I am a student I can't do that because I have a loan cap and can only work 10 hours a week. I am jealous of people that can spend money because I know how it used to make me feel better. On my student budget I've treated myself to a smoothie or frappuccino once a week, but it doesn't do it for me. I need that good feeling I get from buying something.
What is hard: I purposely do not want to go out in public because it is hard for me to not walk in to stores and look at the sales rack. I've moved to an apartment not in walking distance of retail. I don't want to go out with new people because I fear that I won't be able to be frugal at dinner or drinks (one of my worst habits when I had a job). Staying in has become my activity of choice. This staying in does not please my SO, a very social non-student.
But then I started to think about other compulsions that I've had in life. Serious collecting as a child and teenager: book series, comics, clothing, figures, things related to a certain pop group.
As an adult my collecting habits have shifted to books (as a teen this even led to a shoplifting problem, but only for books - I love to read), housewares, cheap clothing, cheap shoes, music and dvds (fortunately the last two are virtually free with piracy, which makes the collecting much more extensive). I also buy lots of gifts for friends and family. My SO also collects books, clothing, shoes, music, DVDs and sporting goods. (Our house is a mess of stuff.)
I'm about 15k in debt from this and had a well-paying second job for the last 4 years from which 50% went to pay off the debt and 50% went to more spending, in two seperate accounts. I did not use my 9-5 job salary to go towards any of this purchasing, only living expenses and paying off of debt. I cut up all the credit cards 4 years ago as well. All of this paying off a debt has shrunk now that I am back in school. I only pay minimums now.
This all, I think, is complusive buying.
What the heck can I do about this and is it possible that I have OCD or another disorder for which I can get treatment for?
I've been terribly depressed lately. After a lot of thinking by myself and fighting with my SO I've determined that this is heavily due to my recent change from working stiff to student. When I had a job and money, I'd buy myself things to feel good. The bigger bargain the better. I love coupon code websites, eBay, sales, etc. I would easily buy 2-4 things a week.
Now that I am a student I can't do that because I have a loan cap and can only work 10 hours a week. I am jealous of people that can spend money because I know how it used to make me feel better. On my student budget I've treated myself to a smoothie or frappuccino once a week, but it doesn't do it for me. I need that good feeling I get from buying something.
What is hard: I purposely do not want to go out in public because it is hard for me to not walk in to stores and look at the sales rack. I've moved to an apartment not in walking distance of retail. I don't want to go out with new people because I fear that I won't be able to be frugal at dinner or drinks (one of my worst habits when I had a job). Staying in has become my activity of choice. This staying in does not please my SO, a very social non-student.
But then I started to think about other compulsions that I've had in life. Serious collecting as a child and teenager: book series, comics, clothing, figures, things related to a certain pop group.
As an adult my collecting habits have shifted to books (as a teen this even led to a shoplifting problem, but only for books - I love to read), housewares, cheap clothing, cheap shoes, music and dvds (fortunately the last two are virtually free with piracy, which makes the collecting much more extensive). I also buy lots of gifts for friends and family. My SO also collects books, clothing, shoes, music, DVDs and sporting goods. (Our house is a mess of stuff.)
I'm about 15k in debt from this and had a well-paying second job for the last 4 years from which 50% went to pay off the debt and 50% went to more spending, in two seperate accounts. I did not use my 9-5 job salary to go towards any of this purchasing, only living expenses and paying off of debt. I cut up all the credit cards 4 years ago as well. All of this paying off a debt has shrunk now that I am back in school. I only pay minimums now.
This all, I think, is complusive buying.
What the heck can I do about this and is it possible that I have OCD or another disorder for which I can get treatment for?
It sounds like you have a problem. You can seek professional help and/or a 12 step program (for example, Debtors Anonymous). One, the other, or both will probably give you relief. Highly recommended.
posted by MarshallPoe at 2:20 PM on September 3, 2006
posted by MarshallPoe at 2:20 PM on September 3, 2006
It sounds to me (and I am not a professional) like marketing has been successful. I think you are normal, even if in bit of a hole. Maybe try some self-help books that take you away from affluenza, I like The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama.
I think it's relatively easy for us to assume that any of our behaviours fall within a range that we can label as sick, which takes the responsibility away from us to be disciplined and choose new behaviours. Sometimes we do the wrong thing (wrong as in not helpful to us, not necessarily immmoral) and we want a really good excuse so we don't feel bad.
Of course, maybe you are bipolar, or OCD, or agoraphobic - it's impossible to diagnose over the internet (particularly seeing as IANAD) but how about trying for the other option first?
posted by b33j at 2:54 PM on September 3, 2006 [2 favorites]
I think it's relatively easy for us to assume that any of our behaviours fall within a range that we can label as sick, which takes the responsibility away from us to be disciplined and choose new behaviours. Sometimes we do the wrong thing (wrong as in not helpful to us, not necessarily immmoral) and we want a really good excuse so we don't feel bad.
Of course, maybe you are bipolar, or OCD, or agoraphobic - it's impossible to diagnose over the internet (particularly seeing as IANAD) but how about trying for the other option first?
posted by b33j at 2:54 PM on September 3, 2006 [2 favorites]
What the heck can I do about this and is it possible that I have OCD or another disorder for which I can get treatment for?
I doubt you have OCD because, from what you've described, you don't seem to be exhibiting general behaviour that would point to anything on that spectrum -- from what you say it's all about shopping/buying stuff, and you're not obsessing about anything else.
But you do have a problem, and it's one I'm sure you share with thousands of others the world over, so you're not alone. It's a big step to ask for help here; it shows that you recognise you have a problem that you want a fix -- but the best anyone here could tell you is to see a professional. So that's your next step.
posted by macdara at 2:57 PM on September 3, 2006
I doubt you have OCD because, from what you've described, you don't seem to be exhibiting general behaviour that would point to anything on that spectrum -- from what you say it's all about shopping/buying stuff, and you're not obsessing about anything else.
But you do have a problem, and it's one I'm sure you share with thousands of others the world over, so you're not alone. It's a big step to ask for help here; it shows that you recognise you have a problem that you want a fix -- but the best anyone here could tell you is to see a professional. So that's your next step.
posted by macdara at 2:57 PM on September 3, 2006
Like everyone else has said, IANAD, but yes, it appears possible that you have a problem that may require professional help to treat. Since you are in school, in addition to that, it may be a good idea to talk to your counselor. You don't want any of these problems to translate into trouble keeping up with school. If that does happen, your school counselor should be able to help you with some resources to get some extra help.
posted by gauchodaspampas at 3:15 PM on September 3, 2006
posted by gauchodaspampas at 3:15 PM on September 3, 2006
So you've collected mounds of stuff over the years while listening to the siren song of your Muse Acquisita. And suddenly your wants are unchanged while your means are reduced. Try reversing the cash outflow by directing that energy into auctioning off some of your spoils. (Sounds like you'll soon replace it anyway.)
The tides of eBay flow in two directions, after all.
posted by rob511 at 3:21 PM on September 3, 2006
The tides of eBay flow in two directions, after all.
posted by rob511 at 3:21 PM on September 3, 2006
It does not sound like OCD--you may have an anxiety or depressive disorder (who knows). I would try some of the practical suggestions offered so far--if ater 6-12 weeks the depression persists (or anxiety that can only be relieved by spending/buying) I would suggest professional help. If you are a full time student it might be available through the Univrsity. It does appear that something is missing in your life--perhaps a bit of self esteem and some self discipline--I am sure you know rationally that you can not spend/buy your way to contentment and you sure can't stabilize your relationships through unaffordable gifts, meals etc. Good luck
posted by rmhsinc at 3:22 PM on September 3, 2006
posted by rmhsinc at 3:22 PM on September 3, 2006
You sound more depressed and dissatisfied with your life than OCD about anything. If you were an obsessive shopper, you probably would have ruined your credit and relationship by now.
posted by lychee at 9:08 PM on September 3, 2006
posted by lychee at 9:08 PM on September 3, 2006
I used to compulsively buy things. I know it's harder for some people, but throwing out a lot of junk or giving away some things from your collection helps... it's nice to have some extra room. For example, I had a mini tea set collection of over 90 teasets! I had to tell my friends that my collection was permanently retired, because naturally that was my default gift... they'd add to my collection. I gave away some, not really as gifts for any occasion, and made sure not to give anyone the ones they'd given me. It gives them something to think of me by. Mind you, I've had these teasets for years and no one's been hurt by my getting rid of ones they'd given me... it was just too much.
Getting treated for my depression also helped me stop buying just to make myself feel better.
posted by IndigoRain at 8:04 AM on September 4, 2006
Getting treated for my depression also helped me stop buying just to make myself feel better.
posted by IndigoRain at 8:04 AM on September 4, 2006
The BBC has a show, Spendaholics which is entirely devoted to helping people just like you. Check out these tips. Maybe you'll find a way to watch the shows, it sounds like you're good at that kind of thing!
In my opinion, you are loaded down with physical and psychological junk. Clearing the physical junk helps to clear the psychological junk and is hugely rewarding; get a book on clutter clearing and worth through it, you'll feel a lot better. On top of that, you'll need to make a real effort to stop judging yourself and come to terms with any emotional baggage from the past that you're still dragging around. On Spendaholics, this quite often involves frank conversations with parents, but obviously every case will be different.
posted by teleskiving at 8:37 AM on September 4, 2006
In my opinion, you are loaded down with physical and psychological junk. Clearing the physical junk helps to clear the psychological junk and is hugely rewarding; get a book on clutter clearing and worth through it, you'll feel a lot better. On top of that, you'll need to make a real effort to stop judging yourself and come to terms with any emotional baggage from the past that you're still dragging around. On Spendaholics, this quite often involves frank conversations with parents, but obviously every case will be different.
posted by teleskiving at 8:37 AM on September 4, 2006
This thread is closed to new comments.
If you have to go out alone, take a very small amount of cash (coffee money) and no credit cards. When you go for a walk, take no money at all. Look without being able to buy. Train yourself to go out without buying anything.
posted by pracowity at 2:13 PM on September 3, 2006