Help me deal with small penises.
June 28, 2006 7:24 PM   Subscribe

How does one deal with small penises?

Most of the men I sleep with have fairly big penises, so I know how to deal with them for the most part, but a few months ago I encountered my first small one (guesstimate he was about 4" length and circumference, so we're not in micropenis territory) and had no idea what to do. Even average-sized guys find me tight and need to use lube sometimes, but him I could barely feel inside me in either missionary or cowgirl, so we didn't have much fun. What, if anything, could I have done to have make it enjoyable for the both of us? I think being good in bed is about knowing how to please your partner while also pleasing yourself, and so it really sucked to find myself in a situation where I didn't know how to do either. Techniques, positions and other tips please!
posted by anonymous to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (16 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

Angles, and positions that keep your legs together. You'd think by now he had that down... :-P

Basically, you want to put him and yourself in a position where you can squeeze with your thighs (to feel him better) and he has to enter you from an angle so that he's stimulating at least one side of the labia.
posted by SpecialK at 7:27 PM on June 28, 2006

(disclaimer: I'm average sized, but I've been with a few plus sized girlfriends that were plus sized in that area as well. Had to keep a few tricks up my sleeve. It's never, ever the size or girth that counts, it's how you use it...)
posted by SpecialK at 7:28 PM on June 28, 2006

I must note that being "plus sized" has no direct correlation with vagina size.

One thing about smaller penises is that they make it easy to give long intense blowjobs.
posted by kimdog at 7:48 PM on June 28, 2006

posted by cosmicbandito at 7:52 PM on June 28, 2006

kimdog - I agree, it doesn't. In one or two cases it did. I've had just the opposite as well. (/me needs fingers, toes, and ears to count the notches in the bedpost...)
posted by SpecialK at 8:20 PM on June 28, 2006

posted by cosmicbandito at 7:52 PM PST on June 28

Our concise criminal comrade has the answer. If you have any inclination toward enjoying anal sex, this is a great opportunity to indulge in it. The anus is tighter than any vagina.
posted by pornucopia at 8:25 PM on June 28, 2006

Have him try a cockring, too; it can help.
posted by mediareport at 9:05 PM on June 28, 2006

anal might be less fun for her, though.
posted by sweetkid at 9:24 PM on June 28, 2006

Perhaps think about positions that more easily enable external stimulation?
posted by theantikitty at 9:46 PM on June 28, 2006

Try strengthening your vaginal muscles with kegel excercises. I dated a woman who found me to be a bit smaller than her previous lover, and we ran in to similar issues. I got her to try kegels, and it made both of us quite happy. (Have him get on the kegel train too - I've been doing them for years, and from what I understand, they let me do some funky (good) things :)
posted by zerokey at 10:05 PM on June 28, 2006

In my experience, these work well:

Second Posture of the Perfumed Garden
Fourth Posture of the Perfumed Garden
Seventh Posture of the Perfumed Garden

I especially like the seventh. Don't ask me where these names came from.
posted by randomstriker at 11:06 PM on June 28, 2006

Re: 2nd posture of the perfumed garden:

"If you don't have a short penis you might want to get your girlfriend an air bag for her cervix! Get ready to drill for oil."

That's so true. Guys, be aware that you should never try this position if you're average and she's smaller than average, or if you're larger than average. Let *her* suggest this one if she likes it.
posted by SpecialK at 1:20 AM on June 29, 2006

Must penetration be the centrepiece? Fellatio is likely to make him very happy, and if he's smaller, it should be less onerous for you. For that matter, must everything be mutual? Do something for him, and then hooray! he can do something for you. Perhaps if you set up a trade, he will ask you for what really really works for him (if he knows what it is). Turn and turn about is good - it's nice to be focussed on.

If he's conscious of being small, I can see this going several ways, but possibly you could be really the best he's ever had by being really blunt, and embarking on a mutual search for the most rewarding sensation ever. If you remain together, this will be what seals it. If not, you will have given him a bag of things to do with other women, and he and they ought to thank you for it.

Do you do drugs? Many things, but particularly marijuana, enhance sensitivity to subtle sensations. And being stoned, you might both be more relaxed about talking this through, and about fooling around to find something you like.

On a meta note, I can't see many men wanting to front up about having a small penis - this is one of those questions where anonymous replies would really help.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 1:38 AM on June 29, 2006

I had a boyfriend who had a very small penis. Having Googled 'micropenis', I'm not sure it qualifies as a micro, compared with the pictures Google brings up, because when fully erect it was probably 3.5 inches long, and of normal girth. But it was small in terms of length, in my experience.

My boyfriend had absolutely no hangups whatsoever about it, he had total body confidence. It wasn't an issue for him, but he did take a lot of care to pleasure me through foreplay before we had intercourse. I never had any issues about 'feeling' him inside because of the girth.

From my point of view, it's the first time I've really loved giving a man oral sex because I never felt I was going to gag.

I also once dated a man who had a massive penis, honest to god, it was like a toddler's arm, and, after the initial 'wow, look at that!' it was something of a turnoff.

Given the choice, I would choose smaller over huge any day.
posted by essexjan at 10:38 AM on June 29, 2006

I nth the 'second posture of the perfumed garden'.

Kegels are also good.

Avoid standard missionary, doggie style, and from the side.
posted by misanthropicsarah at 1:24 PM on June 29, 2006

If he's flexible enough, you might try having him sit up underneath you (so that you end up face-to-face, with your legs around his back). That worked well for a former boyfriend of mine, many years ago.
posted by dilettante at 2:07 PM on June 29, 2006

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