Klaus is insane and kind of a dick
June 13, 2006 5:52 PM   Subscribe

Why does our cat try to cover our heads like litter when we sleep? Does our cat think we're filthy?!? I'm a little insulted...

A brief background of Klaus: he is Balinese (3/4 siamese and 1/4 angora specifically), and has never been outdoors. He is crazy, demanding, and overly affectionate. Many people have called him a dick. Also:

*OCD: He is very particular about the litter box: our other cat doesn't get the whole covering the poop thing, so Klaus will go in there and cover it for him, spending ten minutes to make sure the offending waste is buried forever.

*Rage Issues: If he's not sleeping, he'll want you to pet him constantly or talk to him or throw toys for him; if you do not do these things, he will climb up on your chest and yell in your face. If you push him off, he will run around the house in a rage, screaming horrible things.

*Food issues: He's not very interested in food usually, though when he is, he wolfs it down.

So the question is, basically, what does it mean when he
(a) covers up his food like it's litter
(he did this only when I kept putting the bowl in front of him)

(b)cover up my husband's sleeping head like it's litter
(my husband's head is clean, as were the sheets)

Your thoughts and experiences? There's nothing wrong with him, and we love his insane behavior; I'm just wondering what drives this little bat devil monkey thing.
posted by ibeji to Pets & Animals (22 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
My family's cat "buried" his food dish when he didn't approve of the particular food being served.
posted by lemuria at 6:17 PM on June 13, 2006

My cats try to cover their food when they don't particularly like it. Can't help you with the other behavior.
posted by puke & cry at 6:18 PM on June 13, 2006

Squeaky, who in my experience is not quite the equal of Klaus, but is insane, sometimes covers things that seem pretty innocuous. In fact, I seem to recall that she has simply covered an offensive bare spot on the floor a time or two... She also gives the flemen response for imaginary spots of the floor as well. I imagine you've already eliminated the possibility that Mr. Ibeji (ha!) has switched his shampoo or something. One other thought - things we eat supposedly expire at times through the skin (i.e. garlic). Maybe something eaten was giving off a bad sub-human-detectabe vibe? I, of course, can give no explanation for Klaus himself.
posted by Slothrop at 6:28 PM on June 13, 2006

Is Klaus more attached to you than he is to your husband? Does he seem to feel (rightly or wrongly) that you ignore him "in favor of" Mr. ibeji? Or the other way around, I suppose -- he might feel like if he covers your husband up with metaphorical litter, you will love him as much as you love Mr. ibeji, and he will live in pampered bliss for ever and ever, amen.

Otherwise, he is probably just really, really neurotic. According to the internets,
If you do have a time consuming job, you should consider adding a second Balinese to the household or you will have a depressed and mopey or neurotic and hyperactive cat on your hands.
So maybe it's the other cat that doesn't understand Klaus, and Klaus needs a better friend. In any case, it is apparent that Klaus has needs. Specific ones. Perhaps you should teach him to write. It may be hard with no thumbs, but he seems like the type to be highly motivated.
posted by Medieval Maven at 6:35 PM on June 13, 2006

You need a third cat. Name him Gustaf.

Otherwise, MM is right ... you will remain his only real source of companionship. The other cat just doesn't listen like you do. And if nothing else, having a sympatico cat to chase around the house during the day will make Klaus a bit less wound up and ready to go when you get home.
posted by grabbingsand at 6:40 PM on June 13, 2006

Cats do weird shit. They probably hold the same opinion of us.
posted by birdherder at 6:41 PM on June 13, 2006 [1 favorite]

Mr. (ahem) Ibeji here.
Not a new shampoo or (afaik) any spicy foods.
I would say that Klaus loves me AT LEAST as he loves ibeji (well, of course I would).

My theory? Klaus, you see... is a dick. I love him plenty, but he's a total dick, and was simply proving his super-dickery to me - and now, to the INTERNETS.
posted by sluggo at 7:02 PM on June 13, 2006

Not so crazy, dogs do similar things. I liked the answer 'Maybe she thinks it's a big flesh covered poo' not that I'm suggesting...:-)
posted by tellurian at 7:13 PM on June 13, 2006

Best answer: Wittgenstein: "If lions could talk, we still wouldn't be able to understand them."
posted by StickyCarpet at 7:26 PM on June 13, 2006 [1 favorite]

(a) why does he try to cover up his food

In the wild, cats often bury their food remains (as well as their feces) as a protective measure so their enemies can't track them.

(b)why does he cover up my husband's sleeping head like it's litter

Is his cat box clean? Maybe he hates his litter box and/or the type of litter being used. As a result, he's trying to tell you something. If you google a bit, this issue comes up often. It doesn't cost much to get him a different box and try a different kind of litter. Or maybe he would like his own box?

...overly affectionate? Most cats I've known like to sit on people's laps and like attention. Our siamese cat always liked a lot of attention. Hey, cats are just like people and need some love. Are you paying enough attention to your cat?
posted by bim at 7:29 PM on June 13, 2006

For what it's worth my cat, Tipper, does the same thing with her food. She also does it to my morning coffee and various other food stuffs around the apartment.
posted by michswiss at 7:39 PM on June 13, 2006

Maybe he doesn't like the sound of your husband's breathing. Just guessing. I don't speak cat.
posted by moonshine at 7:40 PM on June 13, 2006

Best answer: He's telling you that he wants you and your husband dead, so he can eat the corpses.
posted by cellphone at 9:02 PM on June 13, 2006 [5 favorites]

Oh yes indeed, one of my cats is a male, he is a dick,* and I love him madly. Here's a guess: this is a form of play aggression, not poop-related behavior. Something was in bed with you all - a bug, or even just your own hair -- something he wanted to hunt or eat. Once he had it, he set to burying. You both woke, laughed, gave him lots of rewarding hugs and kisses for amusing you so, and now he knows he can wake you and get stroked for it. Dickish (erm, "highly attention-seeking") cats develop strange little fetishes all the time in their quest for your focus, so I think if you want him to stop, you have to feign death -- no moving, no talking, no laughing.

I also agree with those who say he may need a more hyper friend or lots of additional play time -- exhausting, hunting, stalking play time. If that doesn't work, call this lady, I guess. God, I'd love to have access to her voicemail.

*When we are noisy, he humps his pet sock: that is, he drags his little sock toy out where we can see him and gives it the hip-humping business like a slightly less furry version of Ron Jeremy until we lose it and shut up. Yes, he is neutered, but since he's 100% dick, it doesn't matter. I'd like to see someone explain that.
posted by melissa may at 9:03 PM on June 13, 2006

is the head-burying in any way like head-sitting? our needy cat has adopted the wee-hours habit of seating herself on my pillow at night such that she is placing much or her weight on the top of my head. I kinda like it, as it keeps my head warm, and has added a nickname to my feline repartee: "Hat."
posted by mwhybark at 9:33 PM on June 13, 2006 [1 favorite]

He's bored and wants to go outside?
posted by A189Nut at 12:49 AM on June 14, 2006

I doubt this will be helpful, but it makes me want to share.

When my girlfriend and I are having sex, my dog will curl up next to the bed and lick his crotch. No, "lick" doesn't describe it. He slurps and snorts like a pig, digging his snout frantically into his gonads.

Is it a boast? A cry for attention? In the end, all I can conclude is that animals are at least as fucked up as people.
posted by bjrubble at 1:15 AM on June 14, 2006 [2 favorites]

Several of the cats I've owned over the past ten years or so have covered up their food with nearby newspaper to save it for later. So I'm pretty much in agreement with what cellphone said. When in doubt, assume they want you dead.
posted by saturnine at 3:08 AM on June 14, 2006

Do you shower in the morning or at night? My cat covers ALL smells offensive to her, including her own puke, smelly socks, etc.

Maybe he thinks you stink?

P.S. LOVE the description of the RAGE issues!
posted by agregoli at 7:10 AM on June 14, 2006

My family's cat "buried" his food dish when he didn't approve of the particular food being served.

Are you sure? Did he not eat it afterwards? I've read that cats "bury" their food because they are trying to hide it from predators.
posted by agregoli at 7:11 AM on June 14, 2006

Slightly off-topic but may tickle the funny bone:

posted by radioamy at 8:02 AM on June 14, 2006 [4 favorites]

Oooh thanks, radioamy. That's fabulous.

I have had cats that were distinctly ill at ease about dairy products, and have seen gagging and dish-burying with cereal bowls and ice cream leftovers. Any chance there is some kind of goat milk product in Spouse Ibeji's hair/face?
posted by fish tick at 8:24 AM on June 14, 2006

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