Who do you tip for wedding services?
May 30, 2006 11:30 AM   Subscribe

Who are you supposed to tip for wedding services?

I'm just wondering..Like I know you are supposed to tip the Limo driver...who else? The photographer? The DJ? What is the general rule on this?
posted by Gooney to Society & Culture (7 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
See this similar thread for a couple of opinions
posted by darsh at 12:02 PM on May 30, 2006

General rule of thumb. If they are a professional being paid for their services then no tip. (Photographer, organist, florist, minister) If they are providing a service while working for an employer then tip. (Hairdresser, driver, bartender). Problems come when there are many people employed by one company like the caterer. I would think that tips should be included in the overall bill.
posted by Gungho at 12:26 PM on May 30, 2006

In the case of cater waiters, it makes sense to tip in a single lump, handed to the captain of the group. In this case, though, I would reserve tipping for above-average or outstanding service.

Naturally anyone who does something outstandingly above-and-beyond (e.g., assisting in the transportation of a drunken bridesmaid from the floor of the ladies' room to a hailed taxi) should be offered something generous in cash immediately, along with a very warm "thank you, you are a lifesaver."

If (say) the DJ does an incredible job and you are simply overjoyed with his spinning, then you can write a note of thanks and enclose a generous check as a bonus.
posted by La Cieca at 1:25 PM on May 30, 2006

I got married in Vegas, and it seemed like *everyone* wanted a tip. (That may have been more a Vegas thing than a wedding thing though.) We thought that since we were paying the chapel and explicitly selecting which "a la carte" options we wanted, everything would be covered. Yet as soon as we paid, the woman at the counter handed over an envelope for us to put money for the celebrant in. Then the man who was taking our (twelve) photographs intimated that we should tip him too. By that time, we'd just about exhausted what little cash we had on us. We decided to save our last $20 for the Elvis impersonator who was walking me down the aisle, which was great... except that the 80-year-old woman who played two songs on the organ actually did the "pointedly cough" thing to my husband. Unfortunately we had nothing to give her and she looked kinda pissed. So in my experience, every single person involved is looking for a tip and may be annoyed if you don't pony up.
posted by web-goddess at 1:49 PM on May 30, 2006

I'm getting married next weekend, and the country club where it's being held is charging 20% gratuity for their services (food, booze, etc). I've asked how we should tip others, i.e. dj, ceremony trio, photographer, and was told it's 'at my discretion. If you like them and you think they did a fantastic job, tip 'em.

Not sure if that answers your question, but this might help.
posted by savagecorp at 3:01 PM on May 30, 2006

I recommend tipping your musicians, particularly if they've been very helpful in accomodating special requests or have had to put up with less-than-ideal conditions (windy/outdoor settings, etc).
posted by purplefiber at 6:07 PM on May 30, 2006

I have been a pastor for 10 years, and I usualy am given $100 after a wedding by the groom or his family. The same is sometimes true for funerals.

If you get married in a church, there is often a fee structure for the use of the building, custodial fees, and (sometimes) the musician. If the musician is not included, a pretty good rule of thumb is to tip the musicians what you would tip (actually, it is called and honoraria) the clergy/officiant.

It may sound like a lot, but I know in my experience, there is are several hours of counseling, almost always in the evenings or weekends, which includes books and other materials which I don't charge the couples for. Also, there is driving to weddings if they are out of town, so I usually only come out a little ahead.

Having said all that, I never expect an honoraria, and today can't tell you (beyond the last wedding I did) who tipped me and who didn't.
posted by 4ster at 8:18 PM on May 30, 2006

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