Do I need to share my breakable toys?
May 29, 2006 10:19 AM Subscribe
Should I let other people use expensive and easily breakable pieces of portable electronics I have like a camera or Palm? Especially if I rely on them like the latter?
If not, is there a polite way to decline letting someone else play with the device? I ask because a friend recently was using one of these devices and then it stopped working soon after. I did not witness any obvious mistreatment of the device, but it might not have been obvious (and surely would have been unintentional).
I'd like to avoid breakage but I'd also like to avoid looking like an ass. If it weren't for these items' demonstrated past fragility I wouldn't even be thinking about this.
If not, is there a polite way to decline letting someone else play with the device? I ask because a friend recently was using one of these devices and then it stopped working soon after. I did not witness any obvious mistreatment of the device, but it might not have been obvious (and surely would have been unintentional).
I'd like to avoid breakage but I'd also like to avoid looking like an ass. If it weren't for these items' demonstrated past fragility I wouldn't even be thinking about this.
Are we talking about playing with it in your presence, or borrowing it to play with?
If the former—you can over-explain your own cautiousness and characterize it as a known quirk, perhaps. Some folks might think you're being a jerk, but, frankly, it's your expensive gadget and you rely on it.
If it's the latter—they want to abscond with it—simply and politely say no.
posted by cortex at 10:37 AM on May 29, 2006
If the former—you can over-explain your own cautiousness and characterize it as a known quirk, perhaps. Some folks might think you're being a jerk, but, frankly, it's your expensive gadget and you rely on it.
If it's the latter—they want to abscond with it—simply and politely say no.
posted by cortex at 10:37 AM on May 29, 2006
The real answer to this question is "don't rely on expensive gadgets". Always have backups and a Plan B.
posted by reklaw at 10:41 AM on May 29, 2006
posted by reklaw at 10:41 AM on May 29, 2006
I've been on both sides of this and realized there are very few ways to not come across as an ass after someone has asked you. A denial, even a polite one, is a way of saying: I don't trust you.
For friends, you can either be fatalistic or you can be straight with them "Dude, I dont want your grubby hands on it..."
For strangers, the excuse I've most often heard/used is "Do you mind? The battery is just about to die and I really need to use it in a bit. Thanks and Sorry."
posted by vacapinta at 10:48 AM on May 29, 2006
For friends, you can either be fatalistic or you can be straight with them "Dude, I dont want your grubby hands on it..."
For strangers, the excuse I've most often heard/used is "Do you mind? The battery is just about to die and I really need to use it in a bit. Thanks and Sorry."
posted by vacapinta at 10:48 AM on May 29, 2006
Letting someone examine it while you're in the same room? like, you're showing it off? Then yes, otherwise just don't mention it or bring it out.
Lending:
the easy one first - the Palm. if you're like me, it has my names & addresses, notes, etc. it's personal, like a wallet. So, no.
Camera - if you rely on it for business, then no, you don't lend it.
Otherwise, if you don't have reasonable confidence in your friend, then no; ditto if they don't explicitly acknowledge that if they break or lose the thing, they're on the hook.
Beyond that, I guess it's a combination of your instinct, your relationship with the friend, and your comfort zone with the risk.
It is OK to say no; don't feel pressured into doing what makes you uncomfortable.
posted by Artful Codger at 10:59 AM on May 29, 2006
Lending:
the easy one first - the Palm. if you're like me, it has my names & addresses, notes, etc. it's personal, like a wallet. So, no.
Camera - if you rely on it for business, then no, you don't lend it.
Otherwise, if you don't have reasonable confidence in your friend, then no; ditto if they don't explicitly acknowledge that if they break or lose the thing, they're on the hook.
Beyond that, I guess it's a combination of your instinct, your relationship with the friend, and your comfort zone with the risk.
It is OK to say no; don't feel pressured into doing what makes you uncomfortable.
posted by Artful Codger at 10:59 AM on May 29, 2006
Just be straight up.
"Can I play with your shiny expensive toy?"
"No. It's mine, and I need it."
"Can I just look at it?"
"No. We'd both feel very bad if you broke it."
No need to be apologetic, it is your property.
posted by Meatbomb at 11:05 AM on May 29, 2006
"Can I play with your shiny expensive toy?"
"No. It's mine, and I need it."
"Can I just look at it?"
"No. We'd both feel very bad if you broke it."
No need to be apologetic, it is your property.
posted by Meatbomb at 11:05 AM on May 29, 2006
I have ceased to borrow my camera to anyone, even in my presence. They can look at it, fine, but they can't take pictures.
Why?
Because not only does it put the camera at risk, it also obliges me to develop the RAW files, reduce them to an email-able format, and send them on. And often people demand the images (usually just of people drinking in a bar or something) the very next day. I really really dislike that kind of pressure (and that kind of photograph) and so no longer let it happen.
When they ask for the camera I usually just say "I don't borrow my camera, sorry.". Everyone so far has been fine with it, initial sour face notwithstanding. And I've never been asked a second time.
posted by fake at 11:10 AM on May 29, 2006
Why?
Because not only does it put the camera at risk, it also obliges me to develop the RAW files, reduce them to an email-able format, and send them on. And often people demand the images (usually just of people drinking in a bar or something) the very next day. I really really dislike that kind of pressure (and that kind of photograph) and so no longer let it happen.
When they ask for the camera I usually just say "I don't borrow my camera, sorry.". Everyone so far has been fine with it, initial sour face notwithstanding. And I've never been asked a second time.
posted by fake at 11:10 AM on May 29, 2006
Generally no, I guess, especially if it would go out of my sight. I don't mind being thought an ass; it's made up for by the fact that I still have all my gadgets, and they all still work.
posted by carter at 11:14 AM on May 29, 2006
posted by carter at 11:14 AM on May 29, 2006
Or you could *really* be an ass and quote Shakespeare; "Neither a lender nor a borrower be"
Depends what mood I'm in and what my four-year-old is after.
posted by DrtyBlvd at 11:15 AM on May 29, 2006
Depends what mood I'm in and what my four-year-old is after.
posted by DrtyBlvd at 11:15 AM on May 29, 2006
it also obliges me to develop the RAW files, reduce them to an email-able format, and send them on. And often people demand the images (usually just of people drinking in a bar or something) the very next day.
Oh, this one is easy. Just put it off until never. If they ask, say you'll get around to it. One day. Just as soon as you can.
Personal opinion, I think you'd be an ass for not letting someone play with something in your sight, with the only exceptions being vehicles, firearms, works of art, and if the requester is exceedingly young or immature. If it's something delicate/important/personal, I'd be sure to look over their shoulder and keep a close eye on it.
That said, a courteous person would probably never ask in such a way that would make you feel like an ass for refusing, so I guess it doesn't much matter.
Lending something for longer term use, you are absolutely within your right to refuse for any reason.
posted by trevyn at 11:34 AM on May 29, 2006
Oh, this one is easy. Just put it off until never. If they ask, say you'll get around to it. One day. Just as soon as you can.
Personal opinion, I think you'd be an ass for not letting someone play with something in your sight, with the only exceptions being vehicles, firearms, works of art, and if the requester is exceedingly young or immature. If it's something delicate/important/personal, I'd be sure to look over their shoulder and keep a close eye on it.
That said, a courteous person would probably never ask in such a way that would make you feel like an ass for refusing, so I guess it doesn't much matter.
Lending something for longer term use, you are absolutely within your right to refuse for any reason.
posted by trevyn at 11:34 AM on May 29, 2006
I wouldn't ask to borrow someone's Palm Pilot -- what's that about? Isn't that like borrowing someone's toothbrush?
In fact, I can't see very many situations where I'd borrow any electronic device from a friend -- I would be worried about it getting dinged, scratched, broken, or stolen while in my care. That seems to be such an obvious concern for any conscientious person that you couldn't be an ass in this.
Nevermind electronics -- my dearest friend (12+ years) won't let me borrow a CD.
Is this something I tease her about?
Yes.
Is she an ass?
No, it's her stuff. How could she be an ass?
Just say no, Grouse.
posted by Methylviolet at 11:42 AM on May 29, 2006
In fact, I can't see very many situations where I'd borrow any electronic device from a friend -- I would be worried about it getting dinged, scratched, broken, or stolen while in my care. That seems to be such an obvious concern for any conscientious person that you couldn't be an ass in this.
Nevermind electronics -- my dearest friend (12+ years) won't let me borrow a CD.
Is this something I tease her about?
Yes.
Is she an ass?
No, it's her stuff. How could she be an ass?
Just say no, Grouse.
posted by Methylviolet at 11:42 AM on May 29, 2006
You could make something up about insurance.
Or get insurance, and then have it not be made up.
posted by dmd at 12:14 PM on May 29, 2006
Or get insurance, and then have it not be made up.
posted by dmd at 12:14 PM on May 29, 2006
Tell him that it is owned by the company you work for, and that company policy does not allow anyone but you to operate it.
posted by yclipse at 12:28 PM on May 29, 2006
posted by yclipse at 12:28 PM on May 29, 2006
I use the wallet/personal information excuse regarding my pocketpc, and usually don't get any complaints.
There shouldn't be an issue with just saying no to people about this. It's a capitalist world, if they want one, there are plently of people out there willing to sell one to them. (whatever it is)
posted by tiamat at 12:58 PM on May 29, 2006
There shouldn't be an issue with just saying no to people about this. It's a capitalist world, if they want one, there are plently of people out there willing to sell one to them. (whatever it is)
posted by tiamat at 12:58 PM on May 29, 2006
Tell him that it is owned by the company you work for, and that company policy does not allow anyone but you to operate it.
That would make you sound like a tool. Just say no and put it away.
posted by martinX's bellbottoms at 1:33 PM on May 29, 2006
That would make you sound like a tool. Just say no and put it away.
posted by martinX's bellbottoms at 1:33 PM on May 29, 2006
Let them borrow your stuff. They'll pay for it if they break it. If they don't just let it slide, they're your friends.
posted by nomad at 7:42 PM on May 29, 2006
posted by nomad at 7:42 PM on May 29, 2006
These are situations in which it pays to have a few little verbal "hooks" as well as a look that will end a particular thread of conversation cold.
posted by Dreama at 8:00 PM on May 29, 2006
Bystander: Oooh, camera! Shiny! Can I take a picture with it? Can I, can I, can I?The "had to make it a practice" is a hook that infers prior bad experiences, lending an air of sympathy to your position. The look seals the deal. Work on it in a mirror if you need to.
Dreama: I'm sorry, I've had to make it a practice not to allow others to use my camera. *look*
posted by Dreama at 8:00 PM on May 29, 2006
smackfu - borrow and loan/lend are covered by only one word in swedish - lånar.
posted by j at 11:01 PM on May 29, 2006
posted by j at 11:01 PM on May 29, 2006
Oh, this one is easy. Just put it off until never. If they ask, say you'll get around to it. One day. Just as soon as you can.
I see what you're saying, but my opinion is that it's much better to say no in the first place.
posted by fake at 11:19 PM on May 29, 2006
I see what you're saying, but my opinion is that it's much better to say no in the first place.
posted by fake at 11:19 PM on May 29, 2006
smackfu: In NYC vacinity I encountered many who used 'borrow' in place of 'lend'. They also confused 'take' and 'bring'. (example from Brooklyn-Italian family. I have no idea how widespread this is)
grouse: "No, because if you broke it, I'd have to hurt you."
posted by Goofyy at 2:22 AM on May 30, 2006
grouse: "No, because if you broke it, I'd have to hurt you."
posted by Goofyy at 2:22 AM on May 30, 2006
« Older Does the Apple iTunes mother ship remember what... | what could I be when I grow up? Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by gfrobe at 10:30 AM on May 29, 2006