Avoiding the medicalized pregnancy, Yorkshire edition
December 29, 2024 1:17 AM Subscribe
Please help me advise a friend as to solid, non-hysterical resources and practitioners for pregnancy in the Yorkshire, UK area.
A friend in Yorkshire just told me that he and his wife are expecting for the very first time.
I would like him and his wife to have an experience similar to what I had: a nurse / midwife practice in Arlington, MA that was just interventionist enough. For example, they suggested pitocin only when it became clear during the birth that my uterus was inactive. Other than that type of thing, they butted out and let the pregnancy and birth happen.
His immediate community is likely either to steer him to over-medicalized pregnancy or simply not to advise him at all.
Example of what I am NOT looking for: "What To Expect When You're Expecting." Medicalized / hypercontrolled pregnancy experience, Exhibit A.
Please recommend any or all sensible, compassionate:
* Books.
* Websites
* Podcasts
* Online communities
* Nurse / midwife practices (Yorkshire, UK based)
* OB/GYNs that are not overly interventionist (Yorkshire)
(I have already said to friend that I am just another person with an opinion.)
A friend in Yorkshire just told me that he and his wife are expecting for the very first time.
I would like him and his wife to have an experience similar to what I had: a nurse / midwife practice in Arlington, MA that was just interventionist enough. For example, they suggested pitocin only when it became clear during the birth that my uterus was inactive. Other than that type of thing, they butted out and let the pregnancy and birth happen.
His immediate community is likely either to steer him to over-medicalized pregnancy or simply not to advise him at all.
Example of what I am NOT looking for: "What To Expect When You're Expecting." Medicalized / hypercontrolled pregnancy experience, Exhibit A.
Please recommend any or all sensible, compassionate:
* Books.
* Websites
* Podcasts
* Online communities
* Nurse / midwife practices (Yorkshire, UK based)
* OB/GYNs that are not overly interventionist (Yorkshire)
(I have already said to friend that I am just another person with an opinion.)
Best answer: NHS care is midwife-led by default - first step is to tell your GP practice you're pregnant and you will be referred to the midwife. Most appointments will be local unless there is cause for concern. In general if you have an uncomplicated pregnancy you probably won't see a doctor at all. Unless you have the money to go private there may not be a lot of choice of provider, but it's possible to change GP practices (and therefore midwives, as they're typically attached to GP practices) unless you're in a tiny community.
posted by altolinguistic at 1:41 AM on December 29, 2024 [6 favorites]
posted by altolinguistic at 1:41 AM on December 29, 2024 [6 favorites]
Wait, what?
The only one who gets to decide ANY of that is the WIFE, based on what SHE decides she wants.
This comes across very much like "husband's buddy is going to tell husband how the wifey is going to carry and deliver her child".
posted by stormyteal at 1:52 AM on December 29, 2024 [60 favorites]
The only one who gets to decide ANY of that is the WIFE, based on what SHE decides she wants.
This comes across very much like "husband's buddy is going to tell husband how the wifey is going to carry and deliver her child".
posted by stormyteal at 1:52 AM on December 29, 2024 [60 favorites]
Best answer: If she has a low risk pregnancy then she will have midwife-led care on the NHS. She may have choices about where she delivers (depending on distance from hospitals and birthing centres) and she can self-refer to her preferred midwifery service. If she wants a planned c-section she ought to be able to get one. Epidurals are not available on demand, nor is consultant-led care.
The NHS itself has a good website covering pregnancy. She should also join her local NCT classes to meet other people in the same position.
posted by plonkee at 1:59 AM on December 29, 2024 [3 favorites]
The NHS itself has a good website covering pregnancy. She should also join her local NCT classes to meet other people in the same position.
posted by plonkee at 1:59 AM on December 29, 2024 [3 favorites]
Also, if she is British, her expectations about maternity care (particularly around choice) will be different to yours. If she is American she may need to adjust to the idea that her choices are quite bounded.
posted by plonkee at 2:00 AM on December 29, 2024 [7 favorites]
posted by plonkee at 2:00 AM on December 29, 2024 [7 favorites]
When I say consultant led care is not available, I mean on the NHS. There appears to be an obstetrician in Leeds who offers private antenatal care. That’s probably going to cost £5-6k? I don’t know whether any private delivery is available in Yorkshire. Maternity care is not covered by British private health insurance so it would be all out of pocket. Almost everyone gives birth using the NHS, even if they access private healthcare otherwise.
posted by plonkee at 2:10 AM on December 29, 2024
posted by plonkee at 2:10 AM on December 29, 2024
Best answer: It is far safer to give birth in the UK than in the US, for both mother and child, and it is safe to trust the system, the NHS. Your friend's wife will meet competent people and be able to make informed decisions about her pregnancy and delivery.
posted by mumimor at 2:55 AM on December 29, 2024 [6 favorites]
posted by mumimor at 2:55 AM on December 29, 2024 [6 favorites]
Best answer: Childbirth is a very sensitive and private matter.
I live in the US and both of my children were born at home. I’m very happy with the choice my birthing spouse made, with my support. Beyond her own pregnancies, she became politically active for increased legal and medical rights for midwifery and access to home- and birth-center births in our state. We both believe that pregnancy and childbirth are grossly over medicalized in the US, to the great harm of women and cost to the economy.
Even so, we never attempted to convince anyone we knew to adopt our birthing choices. It is too fraught a decision and the stakes of something going wrong are too high. People knew about our choices and we shared information when asked. But it was never ever a choice we tried to convince friends or family members to make. It’s too big a deal and not our business.
Fortunately, things are more sensible in the UK, so hopefully your friends will be in good shape. And even in the US most people are happy with their outcomes, which is the most important thing.
posted by Winnie the Proust at 3:06 AM on December 29, 2024 [5 favorites]
I live in the US and both of my children were born at home. I’m very happy with the choice my birthing spouse made, with my support. Beyond her own pregnancies, she became politically active for increased legal and medical rights for midwifery and access to home- and birth-center births in our state. We both believe that pregnancy and childbirth are grossly over medicalized in the US, to the great harm of women and cost to the economy.
Even so, we never attempted to convince anyone we knew to adopt our birthing choices. It is too fraught a decision and the stakes of something going wrong are too high. People knew about our choices and we shared information when asked. But it was never ever a choice we tried to convince friends or family members to make. It’s too big a deal and not our business.
Fortunately, things are more sensible in the UK, so hopefully your friends will be in good shape. And even in the US most people are happy with their outcomes, which is the most important thing.
posted by Winnie the Proust at 3:06 AM on December 29, 2024 [5 favorites]
Do you know the details of the pregnancy? If not, I would stay out of it. Non-interventionist is great if you do not happen to be high risk. Since it is their first pregnancy you do not nor do they have any idea if it is high risk or not.
Non-medicalised and non-interventionist can mean a lot of different things, but as someone who had HELLP in my first pregnancy at a time when non-medicalized here meant no diagnostic tests which might have caught the disaster before it nearly killed me, I would like to invite you to let them trust the system and butt out.
posted by frumiousb at 3:35 AM on December 29, 2024 [10 favorites]
Non-medicalised and non-interventionist can mean a lot of different things, but as someone who had HELLP in my first pregnancy at a time when non-medicalized here meant no diagnostic tests which might have caught the disaster before it nearly killed me, I would like to invite you to let them trust the system and butt out.
posted by frumiousb at 3:35 AM on December 29, 2024 [10 favorites]
Best answer: Lots of good advice here already. I would add that the vast, vast majority of resources and practitioners for pregnancy in Yorkshire are likely, by definition, to be solid and non-hysterical! To add in terms of localisation, it is a big area and divided into four counties, all of which will have their own frameworks. It's a two to three hour drive to cross the region. So their medical providers will be very much decided by who is nearby.
Do you mean their immediate friends and family are likely to advise them to over-medicalise or do nothing? There will be antenatal classes which will introduce them to a wide range of people in the same boat, these are great for both parents-to-be. Everyone I know has got a lot out of these including some lifelong friends. I would think local FB groups and specifically parent groups would also be a good place for them to find out more about local practitioners, in case some are more in sync with what they want than others, but in general with the NHS, it's less about choosing a practice and more about understanding how to advocate for what you want within the system, which is an excellent system and I have had many many friends give birth in West Yorkshire, all of which have been very happy with the process. In general I would say the NHS prefers less intervention whenever possible anyway.
I am sure you are just wanting to do they very best to help and support your friend and his wife but please remember that your post looks like you don't know that much about how different it is in the UK, and having them need to explain to you the colossal differences in approach between what they are experiencing locally and how it worked for you in the US might not be helpful unless either of them are from the US and need a sympathetic ear to work things out.
posted by tardigrade at 4:40 AM on December 29, 2024 [18 favorites]
Do you mean their immediate friends and family are likely to advise them to over-medicalise or do nothing? There will be antenatal classes which will introduce them to a wide range of people in the same boat, these are great for both parents-to-be. Everyone I know has got a lot out of these including some lifelong friends. I would think local FB groups and specifically parent groups would also be a good place for them to find out more about local practitioners, in case some are more in sync with what they want than others, but in general with the NHS, it's less about choosing a practice and more about understanding how to advocate for what you want within the system, which is an excellent system and I have had many many friends give birth in West Yorkshire, all of which have been very happy with the process. In general I would say the NHS prefers less intervention whenever possible anyway.
I am sure you are just wanting to do they very best to help and support your friend and his wife but please remember that your post looks like you don't know that much about how different it is in the UK, and having them need to explain to you the colossal differences in approach between what they are experiencing locally and how it worked for you in the US might not be helpful unless either of them are from the US and need a sympathetic ear to work things out.
posted by tardigrade at 4:40 AM on December 29, 2024 [18 favorites]
Has the wife asked you for your help here? If not, this is absolutely none of your business and she doesn't need your unsolicited advice.
posted by cgg at 7:03 AM on December 29, 2024 [16 favorites]
posted by cgg at 7:03 AM on December 29, 2024 [16 favorites]
Response by poster: Husband is a UK citizen born in Bangladesh, wife is a new arrival from Bangladesh who doesn't yet speak English. And they are orthodox Muslim. Both of these circumstances mean that hubs will be very involved in guiding wife to appropriate care.
posted by rabia.elizabeth at 8:28 AM on December 29, 2024
posted by rabia.elizabeth at 8:28 AM on December 29, 2024
If that is the case, the best thing you can offer is support for interpreting services for the wife, so she can understand her options and get the appropriate care. You can support her husband to explain to all medical professionals that they are required by law to provide an interpreter, and explain to his wife what her rights her.
posted by Toddles at 8:51 AM on December 29, 2024 [26 favorites]
posted by Toddles at 8:51 AM on December 29, 2024 [26 favorites]
Husband is a UK citizen born in Bangladesh, wife is a new arrival from Bangladesh who doesn't yet speak English. And they are orthodox Muslim.
Bangladeshi, orthodox Muslim women who don't yet speak English are not that unusual in many parts of Yorkshire and so she may find NHS services aimed at people exactly like her. North Yorkshire is a very large county, she may find more tailored help in her nearest urban area.
posted by plonkee at 9:08 AM on December 29, 2024 [5 favorites]
Bangladeshi, orthodox Muslim women who don't yet speak English are not that unusual in many parts of Yorkshire and so she may find NHS services aimed at people exactly like her. North Yorkshire is a very large county, she may find more tailored help in her nearest urban area.
posted by plonkee at 9:08 AM on December 29, 2024 [5 favorites]
One thing they probably already know but is worth checking, is that she's only entitled to free healthcare if she can demonstrate that she's living here legally. There's a surcharge for use of the NHS by people in the process of applying for a visa, but she should have already paid this as part of her visa application.
Then to access free medical services here all they need to do is visit their GP - and make sure she exercises her right to an interpreter.
From there she will get referred on to all the NHS services she needs. NHS care is all based around the NICE guidelines, which are regularly updated evidence-based standards of care. Please don't encourage her to be afraid of important interventions which may be needed extremely urgently if things go wrong, in order to avoid fatal outcomes for her or the baby!
If they live around Leeds/Bradford:
The key thing to do here is for the couple themselves to locate their local Bangladeshi community, which will be significant, and find some recent parents there to chat to. I'm guessing they already go to the local mosque, so they can ask around there. It's quite possible that there are local Bangladeshi doulas that she can chat with.
Medical providers should be extremely familiar with patients who are Muslim and/or don't speak English, and it's possible (not guaranteed) that they can find a Muslim GP if they'd prefer that.
posted by quacks like a duck at 9:26 AM on December 29, 2024 [7 favorites]
Then to access free medical services here all they need to do is visit their GP - and make sure she exercises her right to an interpreter.
From there she will get referred on to all the NHS services she needs. NHS care is all based around the NICE guidelines, which are regularly updated evidence-based standards of care. Please don't encourage her to be afraid of important interventions which may be needed extremely urgently if things go wrong, in order to avoid fatal outcomes for her or the baby!
If they live around Leeds/Bradford:
The key thing to do here is for the couple themselves to locate their local Bangladeshi community, which will be significant, and find some recent parents there to chat to. I'm guessing they already go to the local mosque, so they can ask around there. It's quite possible that there are local Bangladeshi doulas that she can chat with.
Medical providers should be extremely familiar with patients who are Muslim and/or don't speak English, and it's possible (not guaranteed) that they can find a Muslim GP if they'd prefer that.
posted by quacks like a duck at 9:26 AM on December 29, 2024 [7 favorites]
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posted by freethefeet at 1:35 AM on December 29, 2024 [11 favorites]