How to clean a hoarder house, and what to resell?
November 25, 2024 10:18 PM Subscribe
My elderly relative is a hoarder with an absolutely stuffed house. I'll be the one who cleans it and manages all the contents. What should I be planning?
Thankfully, it's a dry hoard with no mold, moisture, body fluids, pets, or vermin. But it's a large house, including basement and garage, all stuffed to the ceiling with a bargain bin shopping addiction: stockpiled pantry goods dating back to 1990, and thousands of cheap dollar store items, often loosely "organized" into stacked plastic tubs.
Quickly perusing the most recent layers of the hoard, and then hauling those items off to charity shops, food banks if safe to use, or straight into a dumpster, should be fairly easy. But lower down, back in the 1960s-70s-80s, the family's possessions were higher quality, and thus require more care to manage.
My main questions:
1. How to handle a HUGE amount of paper, some of it sensitive? She was a financial planner in one of those person-to-person companies, and a compulsive note taker. Two bedrooms are stuffed to the ceiling with 20 years of paper. The paperwork hoard is massive and it would take months to read through every pile, so... can we just pretend there was a fire and it was all lost beyond recovery? She's always been meticulous with submitting paperwork, so these are just her private notes and duplicates of paperwork that's already been officially filed. I'm hoping to let the company manage the client files on their end, and I'll just get a very fancy shredder and quietly destroy all her home files... please tell me that's ok?
2. Are there any valuable items I should keep an eye out for to resell? Down deep in the hoard, I know there's midcentury teak furniture, high-end 1970s stereo gear, and 1980s collectibles. I feel bad seeing beloved possessions trashed, so I'd like to resell the most valuable stuff (I have permission). Any tips for doing this efficiently and effectively?
3. How can I manage my own emotions and energy? I loved this house and the family who lived here. I can hire labour to help with for some parts, but I do want to do some of it myself. I guess I see it as a final gesture of care for the family and my past with them, rather than having professionals just chuck everything.
I've never done anything like this, and it's very intimidating. I'm grateful for any advice.
Thankfully, it's a dry hoard with no mold, moisture, body fluids, pets, or vermin. But it's a large house, including basement and garage, all stuffed to the ceiling with a bargain bin shopping addiction: stockpiled pantry goods dating back to 1990, and thousands of cheap dollar store items, often loosely "organized" into stacked plastic tubs.
Quickly perusing the most recent layers of the hoard, and then hauling those items off to charity shops, food banks if safe to use, or straight into a dumpster, should be fairly easy. But lower down, back in the 1960s-70s-80s, the family's possessions were higher quality, and thus require more care to manage.
My main questions:
1. How to handle a HUGE amount of paper, some of it sensitive? She was a financial planner in one of those person-to-person companies, and a compulsive note taker. Two bedrooms are stuffed to the ceiling with 20 years of paper. The paperwork hoard is massive and it would take months to read through every pile, so... can we just pretend there was a fire and it was all lost beyond recovery? She's always been meticulous with submitting paperwork, so these are just her private notes and duplicates of paperwork that's already been officially filed. I'm hoping to let the company manage the client files on their end, and I'll just get a very fancy shredder and quietly destroy all her home files... please tell me that's ok?
2. Are there any valuable items I should keep an eye out for to resell? Down deep in the hoard, I know there's midcentury teak furniture, high-end 1970s stereo gear, and 1980s collectibles. I feel bad seeing beloved possessions trashed, so I'd like to resell the most valuable stuff (I have permission). Any tips for doing this efficiently and effectively?
3. How can I manage my own emotions and energy? I loved this house and the family who lived here. I can hire labour to help with for some parts, but I do want to do some of it myself. I guess I see it as a final gesture of care for the family and my past with them, rather than having professionals just chuck everything.
I've never done anything like this, and it's very intimidating. I'm grateful for any advice.
First, wrt the papers, I would call a shredding truck to come and do it on site. I did that and it was a huge time saver. I loaded 8 large (new and the clean) garbage bins like you get from Waste Management. To sit and feed a shredder will take you a lot of time and mental effort. Edit :what TimHare said above.
I think when you get to the lower, likely more valuable level, take pictures of everything so that you have memories and so you can research value,. Also, can send around to relatives who may have insights into when and why purchased or who may want the item. I think if you accept that this is a longer ongoing project, it can relieve the pressure to get it done. I don't know how long you have to complete or how close you live, but put in x hours a day with a break every two hours for mental work.
When you get it down to a manageable size, call an estate liquidator to come in and assess the situation.
Good luck.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:47 PM on November 25 [3 favorites]
I think when you get to the lower, likely more valuable level, take pictures of everything so that you have memories and so you can research value,. Also, can send around to relatives who may have insights into when and why purchased or who may want the item. I think if you accept that this is a longer ongoing project, it can relieve the pressure to get it done. I don't know how long you have to complete or how close you live, but put in x hours a day with a break every two hours for mental work.
When you get it down to a manageable size, call an estate liquidator to come in and assess the situation.
Good luck.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:47 PM on November 25 [3 favorites]
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. If you can try to keep thinking of this as a final gesture of care for your family that’s beautiful (and honestly I’m kind of impressed with your grace and empathy)
About the papers, yes, you can shred them. Definitely get a shredding truck or use a shredding service as others have said. Don’t try to shred them yourself with a little office shredder. That would take forever and be very frustrating.
When I’ve been in your shoes I hired day laborers to haul the stuff around. For example, when you have obvious trash—old food, detritus etc—ask the folks who are helping you tobag the stuff and haul it to the dumpster (rent a dumpster). You make the decisions about what is trash, the folks helping you then haul it out. In that way you are involved but not exhausting yourself. You may find that it is extremely exhausting even with help. It’s an unpleasant combo of hard labor and dealing with hard emotions sometimes.
Once the papers and stuff that goes to the dumpster are gone, you should be able to see more clearly. It’s a great and very practical suggestion to take pictures of the important stuff to share with other relatives or to remember where the items are.
About selling the nice things, depending on your location it’s easiest to consign or sell directly to antique stores. You will not make much money, unless your relative had some very very valuable things. If you want to sell online or take your chances with apps like Offer Up etc you will make more $, but it will take a lot more time and effort from you. You may find that you will not be able to sell some things, because we are awash in stuff and many people live in small spaces. It’s ok to give things away (maybe thru Buy Nothing?) even if the item is valuable. An object is only worth what someone will pay for it, and sometimes that amount is $0.
About your emotions…don’t try to do this too fast, unless you have to if course. Give yourself breaks, remember to eat and hydrate regularly, and spend time away from the project. As the hoard diminishes and you start having to make decisions about items that are important to you or to your family, give yourself time to process. With you are grieving, it’s hard to make decisions about things which remind you of your loved one.
posted by LittleLadybug at 11:32 PM on November 25 [8 favorites]
About the papers, yes, you can shred them. Definitely get a shredding truck or use a shredding service as others have said. Don’t try to shred them yourself with a little office shredder. That would take forever and be very frustrating.
When I’ve been in your shoes I hired day laborers to haul the stuff around. For example, when you have obvious trash—old food, detritus etc—ask the folks who are helping you tobag the stuff and haul it to the dumpster (rent a dumpster). You make the decisions about what is trash, the folks helping you then haul it out. In that way you are involved but not exhausting yourself. You may find that it is extremely exhausting even with help. It’s an unpleasant combo of hard labor and dealing with hard emotions sometimes.
Once the papers and stuff that goes to the dumpster are gone, you should be able to see more clearly. It’s a great and very practical suggestion to take pictures of the important stuff to share with other relatives or to remember where the items are.
About selling the nice things, depending on your location it’s easiest to consign or sell directly to antique stores. You will not make much money, unless your relative had some very very valuable things. If you want to sell online or take your chances with apps like Offer Up etc you will make more $, but it will take a lot more time and effort from you. You may find that you will not be able to sell some things, because we are awash in stuff and many people live in small spaces. It’s ok to give things away (maybe thru Buy Nothing?) even if the item is valuable. An object is only worth what someone will pay for it, and sometimes that amount is $0.
About your emotions…don’t try to do this too fast, unless you have to if course. Give yourself breaks, remember to eat and hydrate regularly, and spend time away from the project. As the hoard diminishes and you start having to make decisions about items that are important to you or to your family, give yourself time to process. With you are grieving, it’s hard to make decisions about things which remind you of your loved one.
posted by LittleLadybug at 11:32 PM on November 25 [8 favorites]
Oh, about valuable items, you’ll have to decide how much time you have to devote to this project if you really want to get into reselling. The antique/vintage market is different depending on your location, so if you are serious about this the best way is to figure out what is selling in your area. What is collectible depends on who’s buying. The internet can help a little to tell you what might be valuable, but remember your local market might be very different.
posted by LittleLadybug at 11:42 PM on November 25 [1 favorite]
posted by LittleLadybug at 11:42 PM on November 25 [1 favorite]
I would definitely be prepared to get little to no monetary value out of anything you find. Having had experience with a dry hoard, there were mice and other issues that made many nice items unusable. It was really sad but luckily we didn’t expect much so at least we weren’t surprised.
I would also suggest asking family now if they can remember a few items they might want. Then think of a system for offering folks anything salvageable. I would not give folks a bunch of things to pick from unless you’re certain there will be no drama.
On top of the usual arguments about family possessions, hoarding disorders can run in families making these scenarios unusually fraught. In the situation I was involved in, much of the hoard ended up with a relative who took a bunch of stuff to add to their hoard (including lots of worthless stuff that should have been tossed). That behavior was generally very difficult to deal with. That relative also still resents everyone else who got anything at all and last I heard was not speaking to multiple people over it.
posted by knobknosher at 12:36 AM on November 26 [6 favorites]
I would also suggest asking family now if they can remember a few items they might want. Then think of a system for offering folks anything salvageable. I would not give folks a bunch of things to pick from unless you’re certain there will be no drama.
On top of the usual arguments about family possessions, hoarding disorders can run in families making these scenarios unusually fraught. In the situation I was involved in, much of the hoard ended up with a relative who took a bunch of stuff to add to their hoard (including lots of worthless stuff that should have been tossed). That behavior was generally very difficult to deal with. That relative also still resents everyone else who got anything at all and last I heard was not speaking to multiple people over it.
posted by knobknosher at 12:36 AM on November 26 [6 favorites]
Think of this as a project in stages.
Hire dumpster and labourers and clear certain categories of stuff to create space to move. To start, focus on the main floor of the premises. Things that are clearly not mid century teak furniture and the potentially confidential records. I would not dedicate too much time identifying food that is not expired. Looking at dates for hundreds and thousands of non perishable goods is a huge additional effort when you are trying to clear a whole house.
Once there is enough space to move the paper safely, get the shredding sorted, again, to create more space.
As you remove layers and create space, it will become apparent what is underneath. It may take several dumpsters before you get anywhere near the teak furniture. So take it one dumpster at a time.
If you want to, do a bit of research around what constitutes 1960-80s collectibles. I have been known to watch house clearing videos and most of the time there is precious little.
If at all possible, limit the number of 'family members' that get to insert themselves in the process. They all will have feelings and preferences and all will feel overwhelmed but will nevertheless have views...
posted by koahiatamadl at 12:54 AM on November 26 [4 favorites]
Hire dumpster and labourers and clear certain categories of stuff to create space to move. To start, focus on the main floor of the premises. Things that are clearly not mid century teak furniture and the potentially confidential records. I would not dedicate too much time identifying food that is not expired. Looking at dates for hundreds and thousands of non perishable goods is a huge additional effort when you are trying to clear a whole house.
Once there is enough space to move the paper safely, get the shredding sorted, again, to create more space.
As you remove layers and create space, it will become apparent what is underneath. It may take several dumpsters before you get anywhere near the teak furniture. So take it one dumpster at a time.
If you want to, do a bit of research around what constitutes 1960-80s collectibles. I have been known to watch house clearing videos and most of the time there is precious little.
If at all possible, limit the number of 'family members' that get to insert themselves in the process. They all will have feelings and preferences and all will feel overwhelmed but will nevertheless have views...
posted by koahiatamadl at 12:54 AM on November 26 [4 favorites]
Regarding the papers: How would anybody ever find anything in them? They are like an unindexed library, they can't be meaningfully searched. So even if someone was interested in any of the contents stored in there, he would not be able to get the information besides manually looking through everything in those two rooms of papers... Which will not happen.
So I say you can safely dispose of them.
posted by SweetLiesOfBokonon at 3:41 AM on November 26 [11 favorites]
So I say you can safely dispose of them.
posted by SweetLiesOfBokonon at 3:41 AM on November 26 [11 favorites]
Thankfully, it's a dry hoard with no mold, moisture, body fluids, pets, or vermin.
I can guarantee you that this will not be the actual case. The outer layers will be relatively fine, but there will almost definitely be bugs and vermin and their remains underneath. Bugs like spiders in particular love layers of undisturbed paper and cardboard. Rodents will make nests from paper shreds that are surprisingly stable and structurally complex. It’s a perfect environment for temperature regulation and since the house is old there will be plenty of ways the creatures will have achieved access over the years. Especially if the house has remained dry when there have been wet weather events and creatures have taken refuge in there.
So my advice to you is to prepare for that eventuality. You don’t want to be exhausted, having gone through the first few layers of the hoard and then get kicked when you’re down by a bunch of vermin. Once you find whatever roommates your relative has unknowingly had, stop for the day and acquire whatever protective gear will make it easier for you to manage, and come back fresh another day. And if by some chance I am wrong, or you get all the way through to the base level of hoard before encountering any creepy crawlies, you can be very pleased with your luck and use some of that to maintain motivation.
posted by Mizu at 4:54 AM on November 26 [14 favorites]
I can guarantee you that this will not be the actual case. The outer layers will be relatively fine, but there will almost definitely be bugs and vermin and their remains underneath. Bugs like spiders in particular love layers of undisturbed paper and cardboard. Rodents will make nests from paper shreds that are surprisingly stable and structurally complex. It’s a perfect environment for temperature regulation and since the house is old there will be plenty of ways the creatures will have achieved access over the years. Especially if the house has remained dry when there have been wet weather events and creatures have taken refuge in there.
So my advice to you is to prepare for that eventuality. You don’t want to be exhausted, having gone through the first few layers of the hoard and then get kicked when you’re down by a bunch of vermin. Once you find whatever roommates your relative has unknowingly had, stop for the day and acquire whatever protective gear will make it easier for you to manage, and come back fresh another day. And if by some chance I am wrong, or you get all the way through to the base level of hoard before encountering any creepy crawlies, you can be very pleased with your luck and use some of that to maintain motivation.
posted by Mizu at 4:54 AM on November 26 [14 favorites]
There are often community shred days offered by banks, take a couple boxfuls of older paper each time and follow it up with something fun -a pleasant walk, birdwatching, a local cup of coffee.
If you don’t have that, look up paper recyclers in your area. They often have a secure public drop off slot for shredding that can handle a box or two. If your relative is no longer employed by said company, there is likely a record retention policy that is well short of 20 years.
posted by childofTethys at 5:36 AM on November 26
If you don’t have that, look up paper recyclers in your area. They often have a secure public drop off slot for shredding that can handle a box or two. If your relative is no longer employed by said company, there is likely a record retention policy that is well short of 20 years.
posted by childofTethys at 5:36 AM on November 26
Sorry, I inadvertently deleted “could you see if you could get your relative started on the process when you spend time with them?, call/research the process for work-paper disposal?”
posted by childofTethys at 5:44 AM on November 26
posted by childofTethys at 5:44 AM on November 26
My dad hoarded stuff, mostly paper. For about 20 years, my sibs and I would periodically clear it out. (Now he’s got dementia, and I mostly structure his life, so what used to fill a home is now limited to a few entirely manageable piles.) The life drained out of me any time I tried to do it alone. Just fell bawling into a puddle of despair and overwhelm more than once. If you can get any help, paid or not, I highly recommend it.
Otherwise, yeah definitely move fast. Don’t get stuck on fine details or the meaning of what’s happening. Do gross sorting, big piles into bins. Have the windows open and decent lighting (bring lamps if you need to), and have some upbeat music going to distract you and give you energy. TAKE BREAKS. Get out of there and get a coffee every two hours. Nice lunch. Warm shower and a movie when you get home.
If you don’t have sibs or cousins to commiserate with (defragging is essential), look up children of hoarder support groups.
posted by cotton dress sock at 7:11 AM on November 26 [5 favorites]
Otherwise, yeah definitely move fast. Don’t get stuck on fine details or the meaning of what’s happening. Do gross sorting, big piles into bins. Have the windows open and decent lighting (bring lamps if you need to), and have some upbeat music going to distract you and give you energy. TAKE BREAKS. Get out of there and get a coffee every two hours. Nice lunch. Warm shower and a movie when you get home.
If you don’t have sibs or cousins to commiserate with (defragging is essential), look up children of hoarder support groups.
posted by cotton dress sock at 7:11 AM on November 26 [5 favorites]
For the paper: I would make sure that either I or whoever the executor is had filed the appropriate "she's deceased" paperwork and locked down her accounts that you know about, and then just dump all the paperwork in the dumpster / garbage bin / recycling as appropriate.
At that point, it would be difficult for any miscreants lurking about to do any significant damage to her estate. I would be utterly shocked if you, some random schmoe, owed either Great Aunt Tilly's employer or their clients any duty of care at all. So if they're not paying you for the time and costs it would take to shred stuff, fuck 'em.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 7:17 AM on November 26 [3 favorites]
At that point, it would be difficult for any miscreants lurking about to do any significant damage to her estate. I would be utterly shocked if you, some random schmoe, owed either Great Aunt Tilly's employer or their clients any duty of care at all. So if they're not paying you for the time and costs it would take to shred stuff, fuck 'em.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 7:17 AM on November 26 [3 favorites]
For the paper - my reading was that these two rooms are not her personal financial records (or at least not primarily) but her personal notes/copies of information from her job, i.e. may contain a lot of third party information. Hence the recommendation to get that shredded professionally because that is information that could be abused. If you are sure it's just her personal finances, locking down the estate may be enough.
posted by koahiatamadl at 8:33 AM on November 26 [2 favorites]
posted by koahiatamadl at 8:33 AM on November 26 [2 favorites]
You could feed all the paper into a bulk document scanner and then have a digital copy of it, which you could then search through, have AI summarize, etc.
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 8:58 AM on November 26
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 8:58 AM on November 26
Dollar store stuff - probably new in packaging - see if someone will buy it as a lot to sell at a flea market. Hire an antiques expert to go through and locate valuable items. An auctioneer will proceed to auction them for you. They may promise to handle a whole house sale, but may not follow through. This is just stuff, most with no value. Accept that some stuff will not be sold for its true value and just get it handled with the least environmental cost and time as possible. It's a huge task that can wear you down.
posted by theora55 at 9:01 AM on November 26
posted by theora55 at 9:01 AM on November 26
If I was faced with this, I would consider first if there's any likelihood for any of that paper to have some value and what cost it would take to find and extract it, presumably for sale or exchange. When you realize the amount of time it would take to find the value, then extract it, it quickly becomes not worth the effort. So, maybe 95% is simply waste paper to shred and remove as quickly as possible.
Of the remaining 5%, which is a considerable amount of stuff, how would you identify whether there is some remaining value from it. Images, photos, historical archives, newspaper clippings, letters....some of that is kind of interesting but leads down one form of memory hole or another. Who would actually want any of that or have a need for it. The more family members involved, the more people get into discussions of 'is that valuable or not'. Same rules apply, the actual value compared to the time you spend trying to preserve or maintain an archive means you should probably have a secondary sort for the 5% and 95% of that is also waste and should be shredded.
I would probably set up some kind of sorting algorithm: if damaged or contaminated: shred; if family significance - store temporarily and review after all else is gone; physical stuff follows the same pattern. Most of it is just useless in terms of value so best to simply give away, or store and have a final estate sale of whatever is left over.
posted by diode at 10:25 AM on November 26
Of the remaining 5%, which is a considerable amount of stuff, how would you identify whether there is some remaining value from it. Images, photos, historical archives, newspaper clippings, letters....some of that is kind of interesting but leads down one form of memory hole or another. Who would actually want any of that or have a need for it. The more family members involved, the more people get into discussions of 'is that valuable or not'. Same rules apply, the actual value compared to the time you spend trying to preserve or maintain an archive means you should probably have a secondary sort for the 5% and 95% of that is also waste and should be shredded.
I would probably set up some kind of sorting algorithm: if damaged or contaminated: shred; if family significance - store temporarily and review after all else is gone; physical stuff follows the same pattern. Most of it is just useless in terms of value so best to simply give away, or store and have a final estate sale of whatever is left over.
posted by diode at 10:25 AM on November 26
If people wanted documents they would have come for them already.
Shred it with peace of mind.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 10:46 AM on November 26 [4 favorites]
Shred it with peace of mind.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 10:46 AM on November 26 [4 favorites]
If you can quickly sort the personal papers out from the notes and things about clients, that is fine to shred or destroy all of the client files. It is not appropriate for her to have other people's sensitive information in her own home anyway. The employer should not be expecting to recover anything from a former employee. That is something you do before they leave or very soon after. I would bring it all somewhere to be shredded. That very fancy shredder will still take a long time to chew through 20 years of paperwork. You'll need to lubricate it, and your ears will be sick of the sound after the first day. Pay for one big chewfest or at least plan to start with one haul and see what is left for you to handle yourself.
Seconding that even a dry hoard can hold gross stuff. Be prepared and ruthless in throwing out things that are damaged. Those tubs might be great for donating to a food shelf or thrift store if they're clean.
If this was me, I would set aside one weekend a month or some regular time that is only me going through and making plans. Then you can have your emotions and deal with small things. If you want to sell things, find out who in your area sells collectables and maybe find out what they look for. Expect to be disappointed by their monetary offers. If you have a bunch of (unbroken, clean, even if not new) toys or home goods, maybe a local shelter would like them. Know where the thrift stores and pawn shops are. Keep an eye out for book sales looking for donations.
Once you have a load of things to go somewhere or be thrown out without sorting, that is when you enlist help. Pantry items should be thrown out unless they're utensils or dishes. Expect some random emotions to come up at some small item that evokes a memory. Maybe look into some regular therapy sessions during this time, or a buddy you can lean on.
posted by soelo at 10:55 AM on November 26
Seconding that even a dry hoard can hold gross stuff. Be prepared and ruthless in throwing out things that are damaged. Those tubs might be great for donating to a food shelf or thrift store if they're clean.
If this was me, I would set aside one weekend a month or some regular time that is only me going through and making plans. Then you can have your emotions and deal with small things. If you want to sell things, find out who in your area sells collectables and maybe find out what they look for. Expect to be disappointed by their monetary offers. If you have a bunch of (unbroken, clean, even if not new) toys or home goods, maybe a local shelter would like them. Know where the thrift stores and pawn shops are. Keep an eye out for book sales looking for donations.
Once you have a load of things to go somewhere or be thrown out without sorting, that is when you enlist help. Pantry items should be thrown out unless they're utensils or dishes. Expect some random emotions to come up at some small item that evokes a memory. Maybe look into some regular therapy sessions during this time, or a buddy you can lean on.
posted by soelo at 10:55 AM on November 26
One big question that I didn't see addressed is the cost element. We had a family friend who we were responsible for that was a hoarder and filled a house with piles about 5 feet high. We had to hire a service to clear out most of the stuff and it cost more than $10,000. It was a crew of 4 guys who spent a week there, literally using shovels to dig through the piles and filling and re-filling dumpsters with stuff. It was a 2-bedroom condo and they filled 14 dumpsters with stuff. In her case the money came from her estate, but if there's not money to pay for it I would think that has an impact on how you do it, if for no other reason that the cost won't be zero for disposal and so you might NEED some money just to offset labor and disposal costs.
Before we did anything, we walked through and identified any obviously valuable things that were accessible. They were concentrated in a couple of areas, but we fished out originals of her will, a bunch of financial paperwork that helped us locate accounts and investments, some envelopes of cash or gift cards that she was saving, and current electronics that were of some use. If the person lived in the house until the end, the tops of some piles would likely have current info that might be useful.
Like everyone above, I'd suggest a mobile shredding service for all the paper, and I would feel no compunction to try to review/sort/preserve any of that. If it has been in a pile in a backroom for this long, it is long past its document retention period.
For the dollar store junk, in theory you could get SOMETHING for it but the juice is not likely worth the squeeze because it will take you a long time to gather those things together and find a taker and arrange for either pickup or delivery. And dealing with that stuff in a deliberate way will take a lot of time and will interfere with the higher value stuff. So (assuming there is space) I would rent a dumpster and start just chucking junky items. If you have money and want it done right away, you can pay for someone to do that. If you have time or a limited budget, you can do it yourself bit by bit. And I'd define "junky items" broadly - that Chicago Bulls "three-peat" t-shirt and that Jar-Jar Binks Oreos tin are cool, and the eBay listings are rich, but there's a reason so many are unsold.
Along the way, if you encounter family photos or documents or jewelry, I'd set all of that aside to review with the family. Then I'd aim to get the house to a point where any little stuff has been removed and only larger items - furniture, appliances, electronics, etc. - are still there.
Once things are in reasonable shape, you can take stock of what's left and its condition and decide a course of action. If it turns out there is lots of great stuff, maybe you could arrange for an estate sale or auction at a neutral site and pay the auction company a cut to arrange that. If it's less than you thought, you could seek out either hobby buyers for each category or look for a consignment shop. If you have lots of time and patience and an ability to store it, you could go one-by-one on Facebook Marketplace or Craigslist or even eBay for smaller items.
What surprised me about the process is how much stuff it was. Of course you see it walking through the place (or in our case, sometimes crawling over the place), but the sheer volume was shocking as it came out. So we had to get it in our head that most of this stuff was literally just garbage. Even if it didn't look like it. Even if there was someone who could use a perfectly good can opener or a set of glassware or some costume jewelry, by virtue of its presence in a hoarder's home it was garbage. That was really hard but necessary.
As a final note, she had food and perishables and stuff that was long since rotted out and 30 years worth of hoarding and remarkably there was not a mouse or critter anywhere. So you may be lucky there.
Good luck, and be gentle with yourself. This stuff is really hard.
posted by AgentRocket at 10:59 AM on November 26 [8 favorites]
Before we did anything, we walked through and identified any obviously valuable things that were accessible. They were concentrated in a couple of areas, but we fished out originals of her will, a bunch of financial paperwork that helped us locate accounts and investments, some envelopes of cash or gift cards that she was saving, and current electronics that were of some use. If the person lived in the house until the end, the tops of some piles would likely have current info that might be useful.
Like everyone above, I'd suggest a mobile shredding service for all the paper, and I would feel no compunction to try to review/sort/preserve any of that. If it has been in a pile in a backroom for this long, it is long past its document retention period.
For the dollar store junk, in theory you could get SOMETHING for it but the juice is not likely worth the squeeze because it will take you a long time to gather those things together and find a taker and arrange for either pickup or delivery. And dealing with that stuff in a deliberate way will take a lot of time and will interfere with the higher value stuff. So (assuming there is space) I would rent a dumpster and start just chucking junky items. If you have money and want it done right away, you can pay for someone to do that. If you have time or a limited budget, you can do it yourself bit by bit. And I'd define "junky items" broadly - that Chicago Bulls "three-peat" t-shirt and that Jar-Jar Binks Oreos tin are cool, and the eBay listings are rich, but there's a reason so many are unsold.
Along the way, if you encounter family photos or documents or jewelry, I'd set all of that aside to review with the family. Then I'd aim to get the house to a point where any little stuff has been removed and only larger items - furniture, appliances, electronics, etc. - are still there.
Once things are in reasonable shape, you can take stock of what's left and its condition and decide a course of action. If it turns out there is lots of great stuff, maybe you could arrange for an estate sale or auction at a neutral site and pay the auction company a cut to arrange that. If it's less than you thought, you could seek out either hobby buyers for each category or look for a consignment shop. If you have lots of time and patience and an ability to store it, you could go one-by-one on Facebook Marketplace or Craigslist or even eBay for smaller items.
What surprised me about the process is how much stuff it was. Of course you see it walking through the place (or in our case, sometimes crawling over the place), but the sheer volume was shocking as it came out. So we had to get it in our head that most of this stuff was literally just garbage. Even if it didn't look like it. Even if there was someone who could use a perfectly good can opener or a set of glassware or some costume jewelry, by virtue of its presence in a hoarder's home it was garbage. That was really hard but necessary.
As a final note, she had food and perishables and stuff that was long since rotted out and 30 years worth of hoarding and remarkably there was not a mouse or critter anywhere. So you may be lucky there.
Good luck, and be gentle with yourself. This stuff is really hard.
posted by AgentRocket at 10:59 AM on November 26 [8 favorites]
Hire a company to come in and shred. You can either just let them have at it, or if you absolutely must look at it, assume that your relative really was organized enough to have some sort of sorting process, you could glance at the first page or two and then hand things off to the shredders. I wouldn't bother though. Most of it will be dreck. If there's something important, whoever is concerned at the other end contact you. They will have records and copies can be made.
The dollar store stuff--call a large storage place and ask who buys their abandoned storage lots commercially. They may or may not have anyone, but sometimes they will. Otherwise, a few pictures and general description on Craigslist with a 'make offer'. Or I suppose you could price it at ten cents on the dollar or negotiable. Make sure you mention non-smoking and clean, just cluttered. You will probably want to be there to supervise what they remove.
Again, pictures and description then ask your local food bank if they'd be willing to come in and sort and take it all. Only contact them if you think there might be enough useable food to make it worth their while.
You didn't mention other family that would want memorabilia. Hopefully there are none. If there's nothing that you passionately want, call an estate company to handle selling it and be done.
Most of it is just useless in terms of value...
This. Remember the sunk cost fallacy in terms of your time and effort. Other than the furniture and collectables and other items, what is the other stuff really worth? Is there a thousand dollars of dollar store plastic crap there? Plastic crap is just crap, and will end up in the trash eventually anyway. Could you sell it for $500? Highly doubtful. Is your time and mental effort worth trying to do something with it? Probably not. Give it away or just send it to the dump. It's OK to do that for your mental health.
Is there a thousand dollars of good food going to waste? Probably not. Again, give it away or send it to the dump. Put an ad on Craigslist and stress that you're giving away expired cans for pig or chicken food, and when they come to pick it up, you can mention that some of it is still in date. It's up to them what they do with that stuff.
Remember, you didn't set up the situation where there could be this kind of food waste. It's not on you if it all goes to the dump. If you offer it to the food bank and they decline it, then know that they didn't feel that it was that important. A group that provides food for others is willing to let this food go to the dump, and so should you.
If you can do any or all of this now before your relative actually passes, you won't be overwhelmed emotionally by grief and guilt. (You shouldn't feel guilty, but guilt comes along with the job anyway.)
posted by BlueHorse at 11:05 AM on November 26 [1 favorite]
The dollar store stuff--call a large storage place and ask who buys their abandoned storage lots commercially. They may or may not have anyone, but sometimes they will. Otherwise, a few pictures and general description on Craigslist with a 'make offer'. Or I suppose you could price it at ten cents on the dollar or negotiable. Make sure you mention non-smoking and clean, just cluttered. You will probably want to be there to supervise what they remove.
Again, pictures and description then ask your local food bank if they'd be willing to come in and sort and take it all. Only contact them if you think there might be enough useable food to make it worth their while.
You didn't mention other family that would want memorabilia. Hopefully there are none. If there's nothing that you passionately want, call an estate company to handle selling it and be done.
Most of it is just useless in terms of value...
This. Remember the sunk cost fallacy in terms of your time and effort. Other than the furniture and collectables and other items, what is the other stuff really worth? Is there a thousand dollars of dollar store plastic crap there? Plastic crap is just crap, and will end up in the trash eventually anyway. Could you sell it for $500? Highly doubtful. Is your time and mental effort worth trying to do something with it? Probably not. Give it away or just send it to the dump. It's OK to do that for your mental health.
Is there a thousand dollars of good food going to waste? Probably not. Again, give it away or send it to the dump. Put an ad on Craigslist and stress that you're giving away expired cans for pig or chicken food, and when they come to pick it up, you can mention that some of it is still in date. It's up to them what they do with that stuff.
Remember, you didn't set up the situation where there could be this kind of food waste. It's not on you if it all goes to the dump. If you offer it to the food bank and they decline it, then know that they didn't feel that it was that important. A group that provides food for others is willing to let this food go to the dump, and so should you.
If you can do any or all of this now before your relative actually passes, you won't be overwhelmed emotionally by grief and guilt. (You shouldn't feel guilty, but guilt comes along with the job anyway.)
posted by BlueHorse at 11:05 AM on November 26 [1 favorite]
My number-one tip is to remember as you empty the house is that the value of the house to you and your family is not necessarily solely financial; it is also the sum of your past memories and experiences there and the future possibilities it can offer you all. That is, the value of this house is incalculable, and thus it cannot be added to or subtracted from meaningfully through some hypothetically-attainable perfect way of dealing with — confronting, really — the objects it contains in the present.
Of course, you will come across a surprising amount of oddly emotional junk (the can opener you used with Grandma every Thanksgiving when you made pies together), as well as items you’d think would be sentimental but aren’t (379 photos of a wedding you attended at age 11, none of which you are in) and perhaps (fingers crossed) that perfectly preserved teak dining table, but the actual treasure here is that you have been given permission to liberate everyone from the relative’s stuff so you all can enjoy, or help others enjoy, what you and they bring to the home in your own lives alongside only the parts of the relative’s life you all want to keep — and in a cleaner, safer space than you can now.
The objects in the house are a barrier to this now, and of them, I think you and your family should keep what is meaningful to you and get rid of the rest in a way that does not cost you more money and time than you can afford to spend.
That said: while it’s not 100% clear to me what your legal or financial relationship is with this relative, if it is at all in the realm of possibility (or perhaps is just an unspoken assumption in the family) that the house itself could come into your possession or benefit you financially through a post-hoard-removal sale after this relative passes away, keeping the idea that it is the house itself that matters more than the vast majority of the stuff might really significantly impact both how you and the family plan to remove and process the hoard in terms of your workflow and timeframe, and also how you and the family identify and then budget your priorities for renovation and, crucially, the safety-system updating that will make the home either into one someone would want to buy or one you and the family can see yourselves wanting to spend time in.
Take the paper-filled bedrooms as an example. Let’s assume you decide to throw away all the paper without looking at it, and bring a dozen people over for a day and successfully empty both rooms after a few hours.
The removal of the paper, however, doesn’t mean there won’t be evidence of the paper left behind or that the work bringing the rooms to where you want them is done: paper is both heavy and dense, and literal tons of paper left unmoved for decades in a many-decades-old house will have absolutely left its mark in both visible and invisible ways.
You and the cleanout crew will probably immediately notice discoloration on the wallpaper or paint based on which bits received UV exposure through the windows, and you’ll also probably detect some smells you’ll want to eliminate. You will want to vacuum and maybe fumigate, too.
But there will also be emergent problems you’ll need to note down as you or, better, a professional home inspector inspect the rooms closely, because they could be evidence of deeper problems that need remediation or even immediate repair.
A non-exhaustive list of questions to ask as you assess these two bedrooms might be:
- Is the floor creaking or sagging? How has the carpet held up? What’s under it?
- How well do the doors and windows open? Do they need new fixtures?
- If the bedrooms have built-in closets, what are their shelves and doors like?
- Do the electrical outlets and light fixtures still work?
- How functional are the radiators, vents and ductwork?
- Are the bedrooms unusually cool or warm compared to other rooms? Is there a draft? Can you see cracks or gaps you didn’t know were there?
- Are any parts of the ceilings, walls or floors showing evidence of water damage? Can the source be traced to a particular place?
- Is it possible the rooms contain hazardous materials you’ll want to test for, like mold or lead? If so, what needs to happen to mediate those hazards?
And on the dustiest, grimiest days, you might find some peace if you let your mind wander a bit, imagining how you and the family might improve the post-paper bedrooms once they are made safe and clean and habitable:
- How well do these two bedrooms function as bedrooms based on how people live today, rather than how they lived at the time the house was built?
- What parts of these bedrooms always annoyed their inhabitants, annoy you and the family now, and could be dealt with simply either right away or in a larger renovation? These things might be invisible in an empty room, so might take some storytelling and research: Were the built-in closets always unable to fit the clothing of the person who slept there? Have there ever been enough outlets? Did someone sleeping there wake up when someone else flushed the toilet in the bathroom on the other side of the wall in the middle of the night? Why doesn’t the wifi ever seem strong enough in the bedroom on the left?
- What about these bedrooms is uniquely positive? If there is a wider renovation of the house planned, what don’t you want to lose in terms of the sentimental or period-specific architectural details you find most charming and evocative in these rooms? Do you have a particular love for the fancy crystal doorknob you loved twisting as a kid when you stayed over for a few weeks each summer? Is there something you always found reassuring in the solidity of the headboard? If so, find ways to keep those objects or integrate them into life at your own home.
- When you see elements of these bedrooms which bring up less-positive emotions and memories, might those things be desirable to others? Consider features of their storage, lighting, privacy, noise mitigation, temperature or airflow systems that other houses with bedrooms like these don’t really have anymore that future residents would find desirable in ways you and your family might not right now. Maybe the outlets are hilariously high on the wall; to a family with a toddler, perhaps that’s a bonus. The avocado-green wall-to-wall shag carpeting, tangerine-orange walls or, indeed, midcentury teak shelving may make you laugh as you uncover them and compare them to your own home, but there is someone out there who would love to fall asleep every night in 1973 and wouldn’t want you to greige-ify those pops of color and life. (This great piece by Kate Wagner in The Nation touches on some of this.)
Good luck! The house will feel so much more manageable the more you empty it, but the house will also begin to show you a long list of things you'll need to consider doing to make it feel like the home you remember.
posted by mdonley at 11:21 AM on November 26 [4 favorites]
Of course, you will come across a surprising amount of oddly emotional junk (the can opener you used with Grandma every Thanksgiving when you made pies together), as well as items you’d think would be sentimental but aren’t (379 photos of a wedding you attended at age 11, none of which you are in) and perhaps (fingers crossed) that perfectly preserved teak dining table, but the actual treasure here is that you have been given permission to liberate everyone from the relative’s stuff so you all can enjoy, or help others enjoy, what you and they bring to the home in your own lives alongside only the parts of the relative’s life you all want to keep — and in a cleaner, safer space than you can now.
The objects in the house are a barrier to this now, and of them, I think you and your family should keep what is meaningful to you and get rid of the rest in a way that does not cost you more money and time than you can afford to spend.
That said: while it’s not 100% clear to me what your legal or financial relationship is with this relative, if it is at all in the realm of possibility (or perhaps is just an unspoken assumption in the family) that the house itself could come into your possession or benefit you financially through a post-hoard-removal sale after this relative passes away, keeping the idea that it is the house itself that matters more than the vast majority of the stuff might really significantly impact both how you and the family plan to remove and process the hoard in terms of your workflow and timeframe, and also how you and the family identify and then budget your priorities for renovation and, crucially, the safety-system updating that will make the home either into one someone would want to buy or one you and the family can see yourselves wanting to spend time in.
Take the paper-filled bedrooms as an example. Let’s assume you decide to throw away all the paper without looking at it, and bring a dozen people over for a day and successfully empty both rooms after a few hours.
The removal of the paper, however, doesn’t mean there won’t be evidence of the paper left behind or that the work bringing the rooms to where you want them is done: paper is both heavy and dense, and literal tons of paper left unmoved for decades in a many-decades-old house will have absolutely left its mark in both visible and invisible ways.
You and the cleanout crew will probably immediately notice discoloration on the wallpaper or paint based on which bits received UV exposure through the windows, and you’ll also probably detect some smells you’ll want to eliminate. You will want to vacuum and maybe fumigate, too.
But there will also be emergent problems you’ll need to note down as you or, better, a professional home inspector inspect the rooms closely, because they could be evidence of deeper problems that need remediation or even immediate repair.
A non-exhaustive list of questions to ask as you assess these two bedrooms might be:
- Is the floor creaking or sagging? How has the carpet held up? What’s under it?
- How well do the doors and windows open? Do they need new fixtures?
- If the bedrooms have built-in closets, what are their shelves and doors like?
- Do the electrical outlets and light fixtures still work?
- How functional are the radiators, vents and ductwork?
- Are the bedrooms unusually cool or warm compared to other rooms? Is there a draft? Can you see cracks or gaps you didn’t know were there?
- Are any parts of the ceilings, walls or floors showing evidence of water damage? Can the source be traced to a particular place?
- Is it possible the rooms contain hazardous materials you’ll want to test for, like mold or lead? If so, what needs to happen to mediate those hazards?
And on the dustiest, grimiest days, you might find some peace if you let your mind wander a bit, imagining how you and the family might improve the post-paper bedrooms once they are made safe and clean and habitable:
- How well do these two bedrooms function as bedrooms based on how people live today, rather than how they lived at the time the house was built?
- What parts of these bedrooms always annoyed their inhabitants, annoy you and the family now, and could be dealt with simply either right away or in a larger renovation? These things might be invisible in an empty room, so might take some storytelling and research: Were the built-in closets always unable to fit the clothing of the person who slept there? Have there ever been enough outlets? Did someone sleeping there wake up when someone else flushed the toilet in the bathroom on the other side of the wall in the middle of the night? Why doesn’t the wifi ever seem strong enough in the bedroom on the left?
- What about these bedrooms is uniquely positive? If there is a wider renovation of the house planned, what don’t you want to lose in terms of the sentimental or period-specific architectural details you find most charming and evocative in these rooms? Do you have a particular love for the fancy crystal doorknob you loved twisting as a kid when you stayed over for a few weeks each summer? Is there something you always found reassuring in the solidity of the headboard? If so, find ways to keep those objects or integrate them into life at your own home.
- When you see elements of these bedrooms which bring up less-positive emotions and memories, might those things be desirable to others? Consider features of their storage, lighting, privacy, noise mitigation, temperature or airflow systems that other houses with bedrooms like these don’t really have anymore that future residents would find desirable in ways you and your family might not right now. Maybe the outlets are hilariously high on the wall; to a family with a toddler, perhaps that’s a bonus. The avocado-green wall-to-wall shag carpeting, tangerine-orange walls or, indeed, midcentury teak shelving may make you laugh as you uncover them and compare them to your own home, but there is someone out there who would love to fall asleep every night in 1973 and wouldn’t want you to greige-ify those pops of color and life. (This great piece by Kate Wagner in The Nation touches on some of this.)
Good luck! The house will feel so much more manageable the more you empty it, but the house will also begin to show you a long list of things you'll need to consider doing to make it feel like the home you remember.
posted by mdonley at 11:21 AM on November 26 [4 favorites]
Lots of good advice here.
Be kind to yourself throughout the journey—
Maybe jot down notes on a big wall calendar devoted to this project.
I would not seek much input from relatives.
If you want to, you could let them have a preview day at the end and give/sell items that they take with them that day.
I would just say you’re working on the house— and not give them details or an opening to start asking about specific pieces of furniture.
posted by calgirl at 1:57 PM on November 26 [1 favorite]
Be kind to yourself throughout the journey—
Maybe jot down notes on a big wall calendar devoted to this project.
I would not seek much input from relatives.
If you want to, you could let them have a preview day at the end and give/sell items that they take with them that day.
I would just say you’re working on the house— and not give them details or an opening to start asking about specific pieces of furniture.
posted by calgirl at 1:57 PM on November 26 [1 favorite]
re: handling lots of old dusty paper will dry out your skin and hands like nobody's business. Recommend gloves and moisterizer, maybe a dust mask if you have allergies.
having company - a good friend, to chat with and feel supported by in the moment too.
good luck!
posted by Geameade at 2:10 PM on November 26 [3 favorites]
having company - a good friend, to chat with and feel supported by in the moment too.
good luck!
posted by Geameade at 2:10 PM on November 26 [3 favorites]
About six months ago I did exactly what you're needing done. What you can do depends whether you can be present or not; I was able to stay for a month, at the end of which the house was a normal home again. In case my details help:
The hoarder had died and their spouse continues (still) to live in their house. When I arrived there was no furniture visible downstairs apart from one small area of a couch, and one single bed upstairs; everything else was hidden by the hoard.
So I:
- rented the largest dumpster available (35 cu yd, I think)
- hired three people from "PeopleReady"
- bought 200 contractor's garbage bags (much stronger than household ones)
Then we worked at removing stuff, categorizing it as we bagged it either (a) good for donation to Goodwill, Salvation Army, etc., or (b) trash. We didn't try to sell anything as that takes too much time. We filled the dumpster to the brim in about ten days; we should have had it emptied and returned for more use but it was booked elsewhere, so after that we made dump runs in the car. Many many bags of random things were donated; I'd guess half trash, half donations.
When the people I'd hired turned out to be good workers I dropped the PeopleReady day-worker contract ($55per person per hour, of which only $18 went to the person) and hired the workers direct, paying them $30/hr. I was very fortunate in finding good, kind helpers; two of the initial hires from PeopleReady were not so good.
It took over two weeks to empty the house (it's a two-bed, two-story house, not huge) and another week of deep cleaning to make it livable. For the first week we didn't live in the house, just stayed in an Airbnb.
posted by anadem at 4:40 PM on November 26 [3 favorites]
The hoarder had died and their spouse continues (still) to live in their house. When I arrived there was no furniture visible downstairs apart from one small area of a couch, and one single bed upstairs; everything else was hidden by the hoard.
So I:
- rented the largest dumpster available (35 cu yd, I think)
- hired three people from "PeopleReady"
- bought 200 contractor's garbage bags (much stronger than household ones)
Then we worked at removing stuff, categorizing it as we bagged it either (a) good for donation to Goodwill, Salvation Army, etc., or (b) trash. We didn't try to sell anything as that takes too much time. We filled the dumpster to the brim in about ten days; we should have had it emptied and returned for more use but it was booked elsewhere, so after that we made dump runs in the car. Many many bags of random things were donated; I'd guess half trash, half donations.
When the people I'd hired turned out to be good workers I dropped the PeopleReady day-worker contract ($55per person per hour, of which only $18 went to the person) and hired the workers direct, paying them $30/hr. I was very fortunate in finding good, kind helpers; two of the initial hires from PeopleReady were not so good.
It took over two weeks to empty the house (it's a two-bed, two-story house, not huge) and another week of deep cleaning to make it livable. For the first week we didn't live in the house, just stayed in an Airbnb.
posted by anadem at 4:40 PM on November 26 [3 favorites]
Wow people really like to shred everything.
If there are any sensitive legal/financial documents in there, I hope you've extracted them. Otherwise it's just paper garbage.
posted by ovvl at 5:44 PM on November 26 [1 favorite]
If there are any sensitive legal/financial documents in there, I hope you've extracted them. Otherwise it's just paper garbage.
posted by ovvl at 5:44 PM on November 26 [1 favorite]
I think this is likely going to be a much bigger project that you are anticipating. Even if you hired out all of it, you'd still have a tremendous amount of work.
I am thinking a lot about all that paper and her files. I would be inclined to call the company, if it still exists, and ask them to manage it. They would likely have a legal and ethical responsibility. I just don't see how you should pay for all that shredding.
posted by bluedaisy at 7:13 PM on November 26 [1 favorite]
I am thinking a lot about all that paper and her files. I would be inclined to call the company, if it still exists, and ask them to manage it. They would likely have a legal and ethical responsibility. I just don't see how you should pay for all that shredding.
posted by bluedaisy at 7:13 PM on November 26 [1 favorite]
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My only other thought, if you can afford the time, is to clear out the garage first, then use that for 'staging' everything else, one category at a time if you can
posted by TimHare at 10:43 PM on November 25 [18 favorites]