Do I need to isolate from my wife who's recovering from COVID?
November 15, 2024 1:27 AM Subscribe
I've been away on a work trip since Saturday, and my wife tested positive on Sunday morning, with symptoms starting Saturday night. I've so far tested negative, somehow. I'm heading home today and my wife is still testing positive, though the line on the test is fainter, and is still symptomatic.
I'm due to be competing in an athletics event in 2 weeks time, and I really don't want to get sick — COVID absolutely wiped me out before, and I've lost friends to it, and it still terrifies me. Also, there are various responsibilities that I have (I run my own business) that I won't be able to carry out if I'm sick, and that worries me too.
The NHS guidance (we're in the UK) is for 5 days isolation, which ends today. However, I've read that you can still be infectious 8-10 days after a positive test.
Would it be extremely selfish and stupid of me to spend a couple of nights in a hotel rather than staying at home (we haven't a spare room, and my wife's been using all the rooms in the house, so isolating at home would be hard), just until we can be more certain that she's not infectious? Am I overreacting and worrying too much?
I'm due to be competing in an athletics event in 2 weeks time, and I really don't want to get sick — COVID absolutely wiped me out before, and I've lost friends to it, and it still terrifies me. Also, there are various responsibilities that I have (I run my own business) that I won't be able to carry out if I'm sick, and that worries me too.
The NHS guidance (we're in the UK) is for 5 days isolation, which ends today. However, I've read that you can still be infectious 8-10 days after a positive test.
Would it be extremely selfish and stupid of me to spend a couple of nights in a hotel rather than staying at home (we haven't a spare room, and my wife's been using all the rooms in the house, so isolating at home would be hard), just until we can be more certain that she's not infectious? Am I overreacting and worrying too much?
Epidemiologist here. I'll wave my hand over the scientific response and say, simply, if you are concerned about being in good shape for this athletics event you should isolate. This is more about relative risk in comparison with the anticipated impact of potential consequences. The simplest inputs here are that there is a positive lateral flow test (which does not distinguish between recently infective and currently infective) and an experience that has you anticipating a major health response that you would like to avoid. No, you are not being selfish. Get the hotel.
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 1:58 AM on November 15, 2024 [26 favorites]
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 1:58 AM on November 15, 2024 [26 favorites]
Response by poster:
posted by gmb at 2:16 AM on November 15, 2024 [1 favorite]
having had it before and being vaccinated are extremely strong protections from getting seriously sick.Just on this point: I'm in the UK; as I'm relatively young (40s) and am not a high-risk person, I do not qualify for a vaccine, and have not been vaccinated since the end of 2021 (which, coincidentally, is the last time I had COVID). My wife — also unvaccinated for the same reason — has been utterly wiped out by this bout and is absolutely exhausted.
posted by gmb at 2:16 AM on November 15, 2024 [1 favorite]
Get the hotel room until she tests negative.
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:27 AM on November 15, 2024 [6 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:27 AM on November 15, 2024 [6 favorites]
Your immune system has been informed about this attacker and has prepared long-lasting defenses against it.
According to the science, the vaccines gave us good protection for six months or so and waning immunity after that, hence the need for annual booster shots, which the UK's health industry has so far refused to offer to the general public (unless you can afford £99 per shot). Futher, 2021 vaccines were not formulated for the 2024 strains. gmb was vaccinated, but is no longer recieving the kind of protection that someone would if they were getting annual boosters.
That is to say: yes, get the hotel room if you're worried and want to make sure you're okay for your event. But you'll also need to be very careful -- mask up, isolate in the hotel, be vigilant about sick people around. COVID is battering the UK at the moment, so you may be just as likely to pick it up from hotel staff or public transport. Good luck!
posted by fight or flight at 2:36 AM on November 15, 2024 [22 favorites]
According to the science, the vaccines gave us good protection for six months or so and waning immunity after that, hence the need for annual booster shots, which the UK's health industry has so far refused to offer to the general public (unless you can afford £99 per shot). Futher, 2021 vaccines were not formulated for the 2024 strains. gmb was vaccinated, but is no longer recieving the kind of protection that someone would if they were getting annual boosters.
That is to say: yes, get the hotel room if you're worried and want to make sure you're okay for your event. But you'll also need to be very careful -- mask up, isolate in the hotel, be vigilant about sick people around. COVID is battering the UK at the moment, so you may be just as likely to pick it up from hotel staff or public transport. Good luck!
posted by fight or flight at 2:36 AM on November 15, 2024 [22 favorites]
I’d suggest reading the studies linked in the summaries of Violet Blue’s Pandemic Roundup, and checking out the archives for other recent scientific research to get a better understanding of the current state of Covid.
posted by rambling wanderlust at 2:39 AM on November 15, 2024 [14 favorites]
posted by rambling wanderlust at 2:39 AM on November 15, 2024 [14 favorites]
With that being said, I’d probably set up a safe space in the house, and wear a N95 mask when outside of that room. Covid is airborne, so once the room’s air has been totally replaced, it is pretty safe. (As long as the air pressure pushes out into the rest of the house.)
There are some good instructions and links to resources on this page on isolating at home.
posted by rambling wanderlust at 2:54 AM on November 15, 2024 [2 favorites]
There are some good instructions and links to resources on this page on isolating at home.
posted by rambling wanderlust at 2:54 AM on November 15, 2024 [2 favorites]
Unless your wife is unwell enough that she needs your help at home, yes, I would get a hotel room in your place and would stay there until she’s testing negative, other than offering to drop off meds or food or anything that would help make her life easier right now short of you coming home.
But I don’t think it would be an unreasonably risky option to go home if she needs you home, with the understanding you’ll both mask and isolate as well as you can, ventilation, air purifiers, etc.
posted by Stacey at 4:02 AM on November 15, 2024 [2 favorites]
But I don’t think it would be an unreasonably risky option to go home if she needs you home, with the understanding you’ll both mask and isolate as well as you can, ventilation, air purifiers, etc.
posted by Stacey at 4:02 AM on November 15, 2024 [2 favorites]
Best answer: I do not qualify for a vaccine
Another note here, also from within the UK: have you had your flu jab? If not, schedule it. When you get to the appointment, ask about the Covid jab. You will almost certainly be offered it. If they ask you why you qualify, help them out. You hereby have my permission to say that you work in clinical research or whatever white lie you're comfortable offering. You will not be asked to prove or document your rationale. If you're comfortable doing this, you can go ahead and register online for the Covid jab directly. It's the same process, you just click a box saying you qualify and that's the extent of it.
To make you feel better about this, know that there is no shortage of vaccine doses and copious quantities go unused and binned. The UK's vaccine access policy is insane and the political system has nothing resembling the capacity to resolve this.
I've had more doses of vaccine and more active bouts of Covid than the average bear due to clinical work. My god, very few statements rile me like the "it's just a cold" ones. Isolate, get the vaccine, avoid getting this infection with any strategies available to you. You can happily, eagerly ignore the voices that for some reason seek to minimize your concern--those are not clinical voices.
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 4:09 AM on November 15, 2024 [36 favorites]
Another note here, also from within the UK: have you had your flu jab? If not, schedule it. When you get to the appointment, ask about the Covid jab. You will almost certainly be offered it. If they ask you why you qualify, help them out. You hereby have my permission to say that you work in clinical research or whatever white lie you're comfortable offering. You will not be asked to prove or document your rationale. If you're comfortable doing this, you can go ahead and register online for the Covid jab directly. It's the same process, you just click a box saying you qualify and that's the extent of it.
To make you feel better about this, know that there is no shortage of vaccine doses and copious quantities go unused and binned. The UK's vaccine access policy is insane and the political system has nothing resembling the capacity to resolve this.
I've had more doses of vaccine and more active bouts of Covid than the average bear due to clinical work. My god, very few statements rile me like the "it's just a cold" ones. Isolate, get the vaccine, avoid getting this infection with any strategies available to you. You can happily, eagerly ignore the voices that for some reason seek to minimize your concern--those are not clinical voices.
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 4:09 AM on November 15, 2024 [36 favorites]
My source, TWIV, says most transmissions are in the first 7 days, but transmission up to the 10th is not unusual.
posted by SemiSalt at 4:09 AM on November 15, 2024
posted by SemiSalt at 4:09 AM on November 15, 2024
Yes, isolate in a hotel. COVID is still a deadly debilitating virus. If you're exposed to someone that's testing positive they're likely still contagious and you can get sick. Some people test positive past 14 days. If you can stay out of your house till your wife consistently tests negative over 48 hours that would be best.
posted by starlybri at 4:48 AM on November 15, 2024 [2 favorites]
posted by starlybri at 4:48 AM on November 15, 2024 [2 favorites]
Best answer: I would take respiratory precautions in your situation, via whatever means you can best afford it. Let's take COVID out of the picture -- two weeks before an athletic event you also wouldn't want to catch flu, right? I don't think fear is necessary or useful, but I think standard precautions will help you get what you want out of the situation, which is good health for your upcoming event. Masks, ventilation, filtration -- these things are a pain in the ass, but they work.
When we think someone at home might be positive, we wear our respirators in common spaces, we turn on the air purifiers, and we open windows as much as is feasible. In nice weather we eat our meals out on the patio (which frankly makes life better rather than worse!). Our illnesses since the pandemic began have been mostly short-lived and we haven't shared them with each other.
posted by eirias at 5:19 AM on November 15, 2024 [8 favorites]
When we think someone at home might be positive, we wear our respirators in common spaces, we turn on the air purifiers, and we open windows as much as is feasible. In nice weather we eat our meals out on the patio (which frankly makes life better rather than worse!). Our illnesses since the pandemic began have been mostly short-lived and we haven't shared them with each other.
posted by eirias at 5:19 AM on November 15, 2024 [8 favorites]
I would be annoyed, as wife, if you came home, got sick, and missed your event.
I would be livid, as wife, if you came home and became a member of the 20ish percent of people who got long covid, and the rest of our lives together was compromised by that.
posted by Dashy at 5:59 AM on November 15, 2024 [17 favorites]
I would be livid, as wife, if you came home and became a member of the 20ish percent of people who got long covid, and the rest of our lives together was compromised by that.
posted by Dashy at 5:59 AM on November 15, 2024 [17 favorites]
Response by poster: Thank you everyone for your input. After talking with my wife, I've decided to try sleeping in our conservatory, which is insulated enough that it should be okay for at least the weekend. All of our common spaces have been used by my wife for the last week so we'll need to clean properly once she's testing negative, and until then I'll mask as necessary.
My wife felt pretty abandoned when I floated the idea of staying away, and was frankly pretty hurt by the idea that my event was a priority for me (to be clear, my health is a priority; multiple of my close family members have died of respiratory illnesses, and though COVID is multi-systemic that's how it's presented when I had it, so I'm being über cautious because I don't want to take unnecessary risks).
Ultimately it has to be a balancing act between what's good for my health and what's good for the health of my marriage. With a bit of luck and good management my wife's illness should clear up enough in the next few days for it to be safe for me to be around her.
posted by gmb at 6:10 AM on November 15, 2024 [10 favorites]
My wife felt pretty abandoned when I floated the idea of staying away, and was frankly pretty hurt by the idea that my event was a priority for me (to be clear, my health is a priority; multiple of my close family members have died of respiratory illnesses, and though COVID is multi-systemic that's how it's presented when I had it, so I'm being über cautious because I don't want to take unnecessary risks).
Ultimately it has to be a balancing act between what's good for my health and what's good for the health of my marriage. With a bit of luck and good management my wife's illness should clear up enough in the next few days for it to be safe for me to be around her.
posted by gmb at 6:10 AM on November 15, 2024 [10 favorites]
Can confirm what late afternoon dreaming hotel says about COVID vaccines in the UK - I attended for my flu jab and commented to the pharmacist that I wasn't being offered a covid jab this year, though I was last year (I live with a vulnerable person). The pharmacist told me I could have one anyway. I know not everyone can get a NHS flu jab (I can because of the vulnerable person) but there are occupational schemes and this pharmacist was not checking credentials.
posted by altolinguistic at 7:10 AM on November 15, 2024 [2 favorites]
posted by altolinguistic at 7:10 AM on November 15, 2024 [2 favorites]
Best answer: ...and until then I'll mask as necessary.
Just to be clear, SHE needs to mask. Masks protect other people FROM the wearer more than vice versa. (though they do give the wearer some protection)
When I had COVID, I gladly got my partner a hotel room nearby so I wouldn't have to mask in the house or feel restricted about using the kitchen and bathroom.
posted by Pallas Athena at 7:23 AM on November 15, 2024 [10 favorites]
Just to be clear, SHE needs to mask. Masks protect other people FROM the wearer more than vice versa. (though they do give the wearer some protection)
When I had COVID, I gladly got my partner a hotel room nearby so I wouldn't have to mask in the house or feel restricted about using the kitchen and bathroom.
posted by Pallas Athena at 7:23 AM on November 15, 2024 [10 favorites]
Best answer: As for the isolation - in a way it doesn't matter what you think of Covid in general. The important thing is that you have this event, and you don't want to miss it, and isolating from your wife will definitely reduce (but not eliminate) the chances of you coming down with what can be quite a debilitating virus, even for healthy people. So if your wife won't suffer unduly, in your place I'd isolate.
posted by altolinguistic at 7:25 AM on November 15, 2024 [1 favorite]
posted by altolinguistic at 7:25 AM on November 15, 2024 [1 favorite]
Echoing twelve cent archie .. mods there is real misleading info in this thread, along the lines of RFKJr nominated for HHS
posted by anadem at 7:58 AM on November 15, 2024 [7 favorites]
posted by anadem at 7:58 AM on November 15, 2024 [7 favorites]
My family members have had Covid and I think the first time my wife had it she slept in a different room but since then we haven't done anything different and to my knowledge I still haven't gotten it but I was masking in public and keeping up to date with vaccines for much longer than most people here in Toronto. So if this were just day to day and you don't have any other health issues I'd say you'd probably be fine not isolating. BUT because you have an event you want to be in top condition for I think isolating will do a lot of good, even if only for your mental well-being in the lead up to it. 2 weeks in a hotel sounds pretty expensive though so sleeping in the conservatory sounds like a good compromise.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 8:48 AM on November 15, 2024
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 8:48 AM on November 15, 2024
Best answer: 5 days is kinda safe.
10 days is safe-safe.
Pick your poison between the two.
Something like 25% of people who live in the same household as someone with Covid also get the disease. Point is, it is not a 100% thing even if you'd been there the whole time.
And the other point, is that taking precautions really can help keep that 25% even lower.
Fresh air, separate rooms, wear a mask when in close contact if not all the time when at home - all will help reduce the odds.
posted by flug at 8:54 AM on November 15, 2024 [1 favorite]
10 days is safe-safe.
Pick your poison between the two.
Something like 25% of people who live in the same household as someone with Covid also get the disease. Point is, it is not a 100% thing even if you'd been there the whole time.
And the other point, is that taking precautions really can help keep that 25% even lower.
Fresh air, separate rooms, wear a mask when in close contact if not all the time when at home - all will help reduce the odds.
posted by flug at 8:54 AM on November 15, 2024 [1 favorite]
Best answer: > All of our common spaces have been used by my wife for the last week so we'll need to clean properly once she's testing negative
It's an air borne disease. Airing them out properly gets you most of the way there. Also, the virus does not survive outside of the human body for several days, so you don't really need to desinfect surfaces (unless you feel happier if you do).
posted by Too-Ticky at 9:54 AM on November 15, 2024 [6 favorites]
It's an air borne disease. Airing them out properly gets you most of the way there. Also, the virus does not survive outside of the human body for several days, so you don't really need to desinfect surfaces (unless you feel happier if you do).
posted by Too-Ticky at 9:54 AM on November 15, 2024 [6 favorites]
Best answer: Wow. The idea that you might be unreasonably anxious because you think Covid is a big deal is ludicrous. In the United States covid deaths are still ranked at #4 by the CDC for the year 2024, after accidents and before stroke. And that is just death -- young healthy people are getting long covid and other side effects from it all the time.
Just because most people now get a "mild" case (which still can absolutely make you feel horrible for weeks)
doesn't mean that many people don't suffer worse.
You don't need an athletic event to justify wanting to stay healthy. It's your health! Hopefully your wife will do everything possible to make sure you do.
posted by ojocaliente at 10:53 AM on November 15, 2024 [9 favorites]
Just because most people now get a "mild" case (which still can absolutely make you feel horrible for weeks)
doesn't mean that many people don't suffer worse.
You don't need an athletic event to justify wanting to stay healthy. It's your health! Hopefully your wife will do everything possible to make sure you do.
posted by ojocaliente at 10:53 AM on November 15, 2024 [9 favorites]
Speaking only for myself, I mentioned that I think fear isn’t necessary or helpful not because I think Covid is over, but because we actually do know how to dial risk of transmission way down. The fact that most people aren’t doing this is another matter, and that’s frustrating, but you still can. It is more useful to act than to fret, even when a problem is still serious, when action is possible. I don’t fret about public restrooms but I do wash my hands, I don’t fret about food safety but I do measure meat temperature, etc.
posted by eirias at 11:19 AM on November 15, 2024 [1 favorite]
posted by eirias at 11:19 AM on November 15, 2024 [1 favorite]
Mod note: Several comments deleted and one comment edited with the member's permission. Please avoid spreading health disinformation, this can cause great harm, even if unintentionally, so if you are unsure about the statements you are making, please consider letting the thread go on without adding a comment. Also, if you see any comments spreading disinformation please flag it for us take care of it rather than calling people out.
posted by loup (staff) at 12:42 PM on November 15, 2024 [7 favorites]
posted by loup (staff) at 12:42 PM on November 15, 2024 [7 favorites]
Best answer: Keep in mind that one really good reason for taking strong precautions to avoid you catching it from her, is so that you will be at your healthy best to take care of her while she is convalescing. You'll do her no good whatsoever if you end up with a bad case of Covid, just when she starting to recover but is still not up to running errands and getting groceries, nor catching up on the mess in the kitchen, or taking the dog for its yearly vet check up. You'll probably be needed to take up quite a bit of slack over the next three weeks, so do your best to stay healthy!
posted by Jane the Brown at 2:34 PM on November 15, 2024 [3 favorites]
posted by Jane the Brown at 2:34 PM on November 15, 2024 [3 favorites]
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