Tipping piano mover - mistake

September 7, 2024 9:28 AM

I recently had a piano moved and there's an issue with the tip I gave

I know this may seem like a non-issue, but lately the whole concept of tipping has been making me anxious. Like, I don't want to seem like a stingy jerk. I've only recently started making a comfortable salary and I'm not used to being on the other side of the equation.

I recently had a piano moved and the cost came up to $500. They had to go up a flight of stairs and there were 3 guys there.

At the end I gave them a cheque for $500, and since I didn't have any cash on me, I also wrote a separate cheque for $100 as a tip. (I was very happy with the service, as they came through at the last minute to help me out, and they were fast and efficient.) I believe that tipping workers that come into your home is a normal practice?

I think that was a mistake. The company then wrote to me saying they couldn't cash the cheque that was a tip and give the money to their employees and asked me to write a new cheque, written out to the employee that I was tipping.
I feel bad about this and I'm going to write a new cheque, but I was just wondering - is this normal that they can't cash a cheque that is a tip (is that because they'll have to pay tax on it?)

And was I a jerk for writing that cheque out to the company instead of giving cash?

Thanks in advance

posted by winterportage to Work & Money (11 answers total)

I normally always pay tips in cash, because different companies have different policies about tipping and when the company gets involved there's a loss of control over how the money gets distributed or if the money gets distributed and etc, etc, etc. Paying in cash just simplifies everything - the money goes directly to the person (or people) that helped me, and there is no middle-person to have to deal with.

So, were you a jerk? No. You were trying to do something nice. Moving a piano sucks. They did a good job. That was a nice tip. I think you just picked the wrong mechanism to do so.

I think you should pay tips like that in cash in the future.
posted by kbanas at 9:35 AM on September 7, 2024 [9 favorites]

If the cheque was written to the company then it’s their money. They have to do finances for it and can only pass the money to their workers as salary or bonus, so everyone gets taxed. Tip in cash.
posted by Iteki at 9:45 AM on September 7, 2024 [10 favorites]

You are so unjerky here that you are practically a pâté.

The worker you handed the check to could've asked you to make it out to him in the first place. He didn't because he didn't know. If he didn't know about this rule, I don't see how you could've been expected to.

Be gentle on yourself, keep some 20s on hand moving forward, and go play the piano with no guilt!
posted by moosetracks at 9:49 AM on September 7, 2024 [20 favorites]

Your intentions were pure, next time tip cash.
posted by mhoye at 9:51 AM on September 7, 2024 [5 favorites]

If this happens again remember you can write a check out to ‘CASH’ and give it to anyone.
posted by bq at 10:14 AM on September 7, 2024 [7 favorites]

Double check bq's advice with your bank. Way back 30 years ago when I used a bank it worked. Back then you could write a check on just about any kind of paper and get it cashed if it had all the right info and your signature. About 10 years ago, my CU called me and had fits about me sending a check with the person's first name with *cash* after, but eventually they gave them the money. Now a lot of people would be concerned about accepting a check that way.

You're good and your intentions were pure. Try to keep cash on hand for that kind of stuff. People are even getting weird about going to the bank to cash checks. My financial world is centered around the use of my debit/credit card, and many times I don't carry cash. It can be a PITA. It's a changing world. Wasn't there a SF short story about exchanging life credits skin to skin?
posted by BlueHorse at 2:56 PM on September 7, 2024 [1 favorite]

You're fine!

There are laws about tips, tipped employees, and when managers can handle tips. This is to protect workers from unscrupulous managers. It sounds like this company is trying to do the right thing just like you. Acting in ignorance isn't a moral, ethical, or personal failing.

I doubt it's about avoiding taxes, they owe the same amount either way.
posted by muddgirl at 5:19 PM on September 7, 2024 [1 favorite]

Yeah I think the anxiety you are feeling is class based. In the past it was a huge thing for wealthier people to have lots of cash on hand all the time, this made tipping very easy. Now it’s much less common to have cash at all. The friction about this between myself and even just my mom is sometimes a bit comical. She was worried that if I didn’t have cash, how could I get good service in a city?? What if I needed [insert silly old rich person thing here] and I couldn’t spread around a few twenties?? My dad, on the other hand, who did not grow up rich, has no such concerns. My partner also comes from previously poor, mostly military and agricultural folks. I am responsible for remembering to get cash, basically always, and for bringing up when and how it would be appropriate to tip people like movers and tradespeople, and actually doing the tipping too. The transaction makes him nervous and anxious, even though he now has more financial security than anyone in my older family ever had.

This is all just to explain that I think the way you are feeling about this is from cultural stuff far beyond your control and nobody should ever expect you to have it all figured out, especially yourself. It is currently in flux anyway! For me tipping is most often accomplished via Venmo, these days, actually. You are having to learn how to function in a different way when it comes to money now that you have a comfortable amount of it, and thats a big, complicated deal. It’s okay to make mistakes, but it’s really hard to learn that inherently when money is involved. Your anxiety is really understandable, but try to release yourself from it as soon as you can.

To actually answer your question, the movers should have told you the best way to tip them, when it became clear that you were going to do so. Since you were writing checks anyway they had the time to look at them and point out the issue. It’s good that the company contacted you to let you know. I would have expected the check to just get voided and have no way to ensure the movers got their tip.

In the future when you plan to have movers, having cash is going to be the simplest, especially if there are multiple people so you can distribute things evenly. But you can also ask to do a Venmo transaction to their private accounts, or other kinds of digital money exchange. That is usually what I do when it’s something I haven’t planned ahead for.
posted by Mizu at 5:45 PM on September 7, 2024 [3 favorites]

I believe that tipping workers that come into your home is a normal practice?

Not so much for plumbers, but very much so for movers.

And as others have said, if the company had cashed a check it would have become a Business Thing with paperwork and taxes, etc.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:14 PM on September 7, 2024

For completeness : some people don't have bank accounts where they can cash cheques (for various reasons).
posted by dum spiro spero at 8:49 PM on September 7, 2024 [1 favorite]

You don’t need to have a bank to cash a chèque made out to cash. You can usually take it to a branch of the bank it’s drawn on.
posted by bq at 7:48 AM on September 9, 2024 [1 favorite]