Covert strategies for improving a guest bed (as the guest)
July 13, 2024 6:11 AM   Subscribe

I need to stay over in my family's guest bed for about a week to care for someone after surgery. The guest bed has a very old, twin sized spring mattress that squeaks and is generally uncomfy. What mostly inconspicuous things can I bring with to help improve the bed situation?

I don't want to offend my family by bringing a whole air mattress, or a giant foam topper for the guest bed (this is a genuine risk, I think they would be put off) but sleep is important to me and I have slept poorly in this bed before.

Please assume:
1. I cannot stay at a hotel, I need to be on the premises
2. Whatever I bring has to pack into a normal biggish bag, let's say duffle sized
3. Nothing noisy that will give away that I'm trying to hack their guest bed experience, e.g. air mattress inflator
4. I'm a side sleeper
5. I will be bringing my own pillow already
6. I'll also bring small non-mattress-related sleeping improvements like an eye mask and earplugs

Is this an impossible ask? Idk, maybe a camping sleep pad on top of the twin mattress, or some impossibly thin but comfy packable mattress topper? I can throw, let's say, ~$100 at this problem. More if the item is reusable later in other traveling situations.
posted by rachaelfaith to Home & Garden (26 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
Best answer: You can always try closing the door and flipping the mattress. If the mattress has never been flipped you may be ending up in the cradle of a sag that makes the experience more uncomfortable. Older mattresses can get flipped over entirely. The new ones that aren't fire resistance treated on the bottom can at least be rotated so that you are sleeping with your head on the previous foot of the bed, where the interior springs would not be so worn out. And even if the mattress does have a built in topper, you might not mind sleeping on it upside down since you probably don't smoke and aren't at risk of setting your bed on fire.
posted by Jane the Brown at 6:22 AM on July 13, 2024 [6 favorites]


Bring a yoga mat, ask for an extra blanket for padding, and sleep on the floor? YMMV on how comfortable that is, obviously, but if you've never tried you might find you like it.
posted by trig at 6:26 AM on July 13, 2024 [4 favorites]


Expanding on trig's suggestion, if there's a couch with cushions, then three couch cushions together on the floor in a corner, with sheet, pillow and blanket atop, makes quite a comfy bed ime.
posted by Bardolph at 6:30 AM on July 13, 2024


Best answer: Last summer I spent a week in student accommodations at a beautiful historic Oxbridge college and had probably the worst mattress I've ever slept on in my life. Other people on the program who had spent more time in similar accommodations than me recommended a few things that worked for me was:
- flip the mattress in all possible directions; often one side is in better condition than the other, and the dead spots may line up with your body differently depending on how you are oriented relative to the mattress
- use the comforter and any available blankets as a makeshift mattress pad

I would put a backpacking sleeping pad in the "can't hurt, could help!" category. The inflatable ones are often self-inflating and some of them shrink down to the size of a 1-liter water bottle; a folding foam pad takes up a bit more space but is pretty comfy and lightweight.

For future comfort, maybe you could accidentally destroy the current mattress (I don't know, accidentally spill your very large mug of bone broth on it or something) and graciously agree to replace it.
posted by mskyle at 6:32 AM on July 13, 2024 [15 favorites]


Could you tell them the doctor recommended a specific kind of mattress for your back, but omg just by coincidence you accidentally you ordered a twin and can't return it - would they like to have it? And just bring a new one completely.

If not, then as others suggested, I'd do a camping mattress and sleep on the floor.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 6:35 AM on July 13, 2024 [2 favorites]


Sleep on top of a sleeping bag (plus what ever mat/ cushion/ mattress you decide to use.)

Do some pre testing to determine the pressure points of where you feel the ground that most.

Can you bring a fancy pillow for “reading in bed”?

Consider packing a spare pillow case to stuff clothes in.
posted by oceano at 7:09 AM on July 13, 2024


If it's a mattress plus box spring combination, putting a layer of firm material between the mattress and springs can help. Plywood is the typical choice, but even thin particle board might help.

I understand not wanting to upset someone when they're recovering from surgery, but all these solutions are just kicking the can down the road, and condemning any other future guests to a bad night's sleep. If my guests found my guest bed uncomfortable, I would want to know (I try to sleep in my guest beds a couple times a year to make sure they're still OK). Perhaps after your relative recovers, you could gently raise the question of replacing the bed.
posted by brianogilvie at 7:20 AM on July 13, 2024 [1 favorite]


Response by poster: A very large mug of bone broth has me giggling. I actually don't foresee me using the mattress again anytime soon - the times I've used it in the past were 5-10 years ago when I was living in the area. And to be honest, they call it the guest bedroom but these days it's more of a playroom for grandkids that happens to have a bed in it. I don't know of anyone that's slept over on it in a long time, so I don't think I'd be 'improving it for future guests' or anything - this is more of a one and done situation.
posted by rachaelfaith at 7:30 AM on July 13, 2024


Best answer: Oh dude just say, 'this is awkward but I've been having aches and pains and my doctor recommended a special mattress topper, so don't be surprised when I show up with a giant roll of foam haha!' Just make it about your own baseline sleep needs and not about their bed specifically.
posted by Ausamor at 7:38 AM on July 13, 2024 [49 favorites]


Just pointing out that if you are thinking about to rotating (not flipping) the mattress, it is materially easier to rotate yourself instead and just sleep the wrong way. Can’t hurt to try it.
posted by moosetracks at 7:44 AM on July 13, 2024 [11 favorites]


I will share with you an anecdote.

My grandpa had violent night terrors his whole life so my grandparents slept in separate twin beds their entire marriage. These beds, including the ancient mattresses, made the move to Florida with my 72 year old grandma after my grandpa died, to the home where she would spend her final years. The twin beds got put in the guest room for visiting family, and it's where my parents would sleep when they/we visited.

My parents complained about how terrible these mattresses were every visit. How bad they slept, how pokey the springs were, all the symptoms of using an ancient mattress in desperate need of replacement. I would always say oh my god, just tell grandma they're bad and get new mattresses!! It wasn't a money issue, just no one wanted to say anything. No one wanted to be the person to cause any upset.

There was also an unspoken agreement that it wouldn't be a problem "for much longer" as my grandma aged. We'll only be using this room for a few more visits, etc. Well, grandma lived to NINETY SEVEN and my parents endured another TWENTY FIVE YEARS of terrible sleep, enduring back pain, and bad mattresses. And for what. My grandma was a real pain in the ass and never missed an opportunity to be melodramatic, but I am sure that even she could have rebounded from the "insult" of "let's get some new mattresses" over those two and a half decades.

Long story short, if this were my family, even knowing that there's weird guess culture baggage around mattresses and it might hurt someone's feelings, I would say: "Mom, Dad, the guest mattress sucks. Let's go shopping for a new one while I'm in town."
posted by phunniemee at 7:51 AM on July 13, 2024 [20 favorites]


Get a nice big yoga mat, the thickest one you can find and a book on yoga (from the library), and bring them into the house openly. If anyone asks, you're hoping to take up yoga, as a stress reduction.
posted by Jane the Brown at 8:15 AM on July 13, 2024 [3 favorites]


Best answer: Can you fit a Thermarest Z-pad (they fold up accordion-style) in your suitcase? Might be easier than a yoga mat. I bought one for other uses but offered it to a guest for use with my aging couch recently and she said it improved the experience meaningfully.
posted by praemunire at 9:37 AM on July 13, 2024 [2 favorites]


I think Ausamor has it, but another option might be - if you’re already bringing your own pillow, also bring your own duvet and tell them you sleep so much better with your own bedding - then sleep on top of the duvet they’ve already provided to give you an extra layer of cushioning, with your own duvet on top. Duvet sandwich.

I did that at a friend’s house when I stayed over at Christmas, having previously discovered I couldn’t sleep on her rock hard futon mattress at all. I actually just came clean and told her I happened to like a squishy bed and explained why I was bringing my own bedding, but she wasn’t offended and it worked fine (though she’s actually bought a whole new bed for there since - ha!)
posted by penguin pie at 9:54 AM on July 13, 2024


Take the mattress off the box spring and put it on the floor. And it's perfectly ok to mention that this bed should be replaced.
posted by mareli at 9:55 AM on July 13, 2024 [2 favorites]


If it were me taking care of someone for a week, even family (especially family!) I would ask "hey what's your credit card number?" and order a new foam mattress from Amazon and whatever else I needed for the stay.
posted by credulous at 10:35 AM on July 13, 2024


Response by poster: Just to clarify, it's not my parents whose home it is and the arrangement is a little unusual - my aunt and uncle own the home and are letting me stay there to take care of my mom, who'll be staying in the 'real' guest room. Sorry for the confusion. They're the ones doing us a favor, rather than me going there to care for one of the homeowners.
posted by rachaelfaith at 10:53 AM on July 13, 2024 [1 favorite]


Take magnesium. It promotes sleep and is a muscle relaxant. I find it indispensable when travelling- between long, cramped sitting on planes/in cars and sleeping in a range of beds without my beloved pillow, magnesium is the thing that keeps me pain free.

At higher doses it can act as a laxative so if you get to that point reduce the dose a bit.
posted by koahiatamadl at 11:07 AM on July 13, 2024


If you can get a foam topper into a vacuum storage bag you might be able to get enough air out to fit it in a large duffle, but you would need to get it in approximately the right shape first; they’re pretty impossible to fold once the air is vacuumed out.
posted by misskaz at 12:20 PM on July 13, 2024


the VT country store sells these
posted by brujita at 1:08 PM on July 13, 2024


Often foam toppers are sold fairly compressed, so if you get a new one and don't unwrap it until you arrive, it should be compact enough to fit in your bag. Then leave it on the bed afterwards - by the time they discover that you have added it, you'll be gone!
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 1:53 PM on July 13, 2024


Seconding what 5_13... said - when we ordered a memory foam topper like this it came tightly packed in a way that would easily fit into something like a duffle bag. Once unpacked you would NEVER EVER get it back in there. But for getting it there, no problem really.

My sister also purchased a couple of really wide, thick camping mats recently. Something like this, though not that exact model. Anyway they are quite big and bulky (car camping...) but super comfortable to sleep on and don't really require inflation (though you can add air for an even better sleep). These things are almost like sleeping on a bed they're so good.
posted by flug at 2:06 PM on July 13, 2024


I’m sorry to hear about your new mysterious medical condition that makes you an incredibly hot sleeper that necessitates that you sleep on an inflatable air mattress for your own safety (or a camping cot). All jokes aside, while this wouldn’t be as discreet as you are asking for, I slept on an air mattress recently and was suprised by how cold it was.

Otherwise, yes, I’d add a foam topper (hot) or a thermarest pad to the existing mattress.
posted by ticketmaster10 at 2:38 PM on July 13, 2024


In cases where I have slept on a saggy bed, especially like a fold out couch bed, I have sometimes found putting the mattress directly on the floor makes it more of a futon and less of a hammock. Depends how much floor space you have and how discreet you need to be.
posted by kiblinger at 5:48 PM on July 13, 2024 [1 favorite]


I bought and mailed a pillow to my parents’ house when I was pretty sure the decades old pillows on the guest bed were full of dust mites and causing my allergies to flare up when I visited them. Was it awkward and was my mom slightly embarrassed? Yes. Was it still worth it for even my first trip home? Absolutely.
posted by A Blue Moon at 7:33 AM on July 14, 2024 [1 favorite]


Response by poster: The inflatable camping pads with the inbuilt memory foam are pretty magical. I picked up one for about a hundred bucks, with an attached inflator and deflator. It didn't 'fix' the sleeping situation, but it was tolerable for a few nights. That plus my own pillow and a fan did the trick!
posted by rachaelfaith at 2:57 PM on July 28, 2024 [1 favorite]


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