Internet Menopause remedies
March 29, 2024 5:01 AM Subscribe
I'm in the menopauise, I can't sleep and I can't regulate my body temperature. I have a primary care doctor; a gynecologist; a sports doctor and a therapist. None of them think I need sleeping pills or treatment for hot flashes. (Honestly, they are probably right about the body temperature thing.) Will any of the internet miracle cures do any good?
If by "miracle cure" you mean hormone replacement therapy (HRT) then yes. I know a fair number of women who are going through or have gone through the menopause and 80% of them are/were on HRT, and the remaining 20% either can't for other medical reasons, or are fortunate enough to not need it (yet).
"menopause isn't as bad as it's made out to be, you've just got to grin and bear it" is some misogynistic bullshit and you shouldn't suffer when there is treatment available. Seconding getting your hormone levels checked and HRT prescribed. If your doctor won't do this, move to one who will.
If you mean something other than HRT I can't speak to that, but really you shouldn't need to speak to that either. You don't need a miracle cure off the internet, you need a medical treatment from a doctor.
posted by underclocked at 5:22 AM on March 29, 2024 [14 favorites]
"menopause isn't as bad as it's made out to be, you've just got to grin and bear it" is some misogynistic bullshit and you shouldn't suffer when there is treatment available. Seconding getting your hormone levels checked and HRT prescribed. If your doctor won't do this, move to one who will.
If you mean something other than HRT I can't speak to that, but really you shouldn't need to speak to that either. You don't need a miracle cure off the internet, you need a medical treatment from a doctor.
posted by underclocked at 5:22 AM on March 29, 2024 [14 favorites]
Have your PCP and/or gyn explained *why* they don't think you need treatment for your hot flashes? It's my understanding that HRT is for symptom relief: if you have menopause-related symptoms that are bothering you, that's a perfectly good reason to at least *try* HRT (assuming you don't have any serious contraindications).
posted by mskyle at 5:37 AM on March 29, 2024 [6 favorites]
posted by mskyle at 5:37 AM on March 29, 2024 [6 favorites]
I agree that your symptoms merit medical attention. But in the meantime why revert to internet miracle quackery when either sleep therapy or Unisom work very well for sleep?
And anecdotally, for me hot flashes are one of the reliable side-effects of eating gluten. I learned I had a gluten sensitivity and eliminated it from my diet. But every few months I'll eat something with gluten because "it's worth it." My body goes into a hang-over mode, and I have hot flashes within about 12 hours. Going off gluten pretty much eliminated hot flashes for me. YMMV.
posted by cocoagirl at 5:54 AM on March 29, 2024 [2 favorites]
And anecdotally, for me hot flashes are one of the reliable side-effects of eating gluten. I learned I had a gluten sensitivity and eliminated it from my diet. But every few months I'll eat something with gluten because "it's worth it." My body goes into a hang-over mode, and I have hot flashes within about 12 hours. Going off gluten pretty much eliminated hot flashes for me. YMMV.
posted by cocoagirl at 5:54 AM on March 29, 2024 [2 favorites]
one hot flash hack that helped--when I couldn't just disrobe--was swiping my wrists with alcohol swabs. I could make the overwhelming heat feeling go away more quickly if I focused on the cooling sensation.
posted by Morpeth at 6:05 AM on March 29, 2024 [1 favorite]
posted by Morpeth at 6:05 AM on March 29, 2024 [1 favorite]
Jen Gunter is a doctor who writes about and debunks those miracle Internet cures. Find a doctor who will talk to you about HRT.
posted by bluedaisy at 6:22 AM on March 29, 2024 [20 favorites]
posted by bluedaisy at 6:22 AM on March 29, 2024 [20 favorites]
Absolutely fined a doctor who will prescribe HRT. There is no reason to suffer with this.
posted by HotToddy at 6:38 AM on March 29, 2024 [2 favorites]
posted by HotToddy at 6:38 AM on March 29, 2024 [2 favorites]
Seconding Jen Gunter. She is amazing and an authoritative source. Also there's an extremely active and knowledgeable Reddit sub: /menopause
The main thing to keep in mind is that every body is different. What worked for your neighbors and friends may not work for you. A hormone patch helps some, while vaginal suppositories work better for others, while testosterone implants help some people, for example. Unless you are very lucky and the first treatment works, you will have to try multiple things. Apparently there is evidence that what worked for your mothers and sisters may be more likely to work for you.
If you have gotten nowhere with your GYN using language like "this is harming my quality of life/relationship/self-worth" etc, then it's time to find a new GYN. Search for a menopause specialist in your area. I live in a city of about 500k, and there are two GYNs who bill themselves as specialists in this area. I see one of them, and she's pretty great.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 6:42 AM on March 29, 2024 [3 favorites]
The main thing to keep in mind is that every body is different. What worked for your neighbors and friends may not work for you. A hormone patch helps some, while vaginal suppositories work better for others, while testosterone implants help some people, for example. Unless you are very lucky and the first treatment works, you will have to try multiple things. Apparently there is evidence that what worked for your mothers and sisters may be more likely to work for you.
If you have gotten nowhere with your GYN using language like "this is harming my quality of life/relationship/self-worth" etc, then it's time to find a new GYN. Search for a menopause specialist in your area. I live in a city of about 500k, and there are two GYNs who bill themselves as specialists in this area. I see one of them, and she's pretty great.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 6:42 AM on March 29, 2024 [3 favorites]
I toughed it out through perimenopause without HRT, and hot flashes was something I got (in NYC, where the summer heat and humidity is bad enough on top of hot flashes).
Something I was told about what causes hot flashes - which might be apocryphal, fair warning - was that it's a sort of confusion in your internal temperature regulator. It's kind of like how when you want to turn your stereo volume way down, but you temporarily forget which direction you're supposed to turn it and you end up turning it way up instead and then go "oh shit" and turn it the correct way again. So it's kind of like your body meant to turn its heat down, but got confused and turned it way up instead for a second.
So that means, what triggers a hot flash is that your internal body temperature has gotten a little high. And so I started drinking more ice water than I had been doing; and that actually seemed to help. It wasn't an immediate "this will stop a hot flash in its tracks" kind of thing, more like, "this will keep your internal body temperature at a more reasonable level so you can reduce the odds you get one of the damn things" kind of thing.
This very well may have been entirely in my head, but even if I was wrong, I was hydrated, and that's always good no matter what.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:53 AM on March 29, 2024 [3 favorites]
Something I was told about what causes hot flashes - which might be apocryphal, fair warning - was that it's a sort of confusion in your internal temperature regulator. It's kind of like how when you want to turn your stereo volume way down, but you temporarily forget which direction you're supposed to turn it and you end up turning it way up instead and then go "oh shit" and turn it the correct way again. So it's kind of like your body meant to turn its heat down, but got confused and turned it way up instead for a second.
So that means, what triggers a hot flash is that your internal body temperature has gotten a little high. And so I started drinking more ice water than I had been doing; and that actually seemed to help. It wasn't an immediate "this will stop a hot flash in its tracks" kind of thing, more like, "this will keep your internal body temperature at a more reasonable level so you can reduce the odds you get one of the damn things" kind of thing.
This very well may have been entirely in my head, but even if I was wrong, I was hydrated, and that's always good no matter what.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:53 AM on March 29, 2024 [3 favorites]
Oh, also - if you sleep with a thick comforter or a duvet, don't. Another thing I found really helped was an assortment of thin blankets and throws, a thin bedspread, and a sheet instead of a duvet; it made it a lot easier to fine-tune exactly how much coverage I needed in a given moment. I had more than just "absolutely nothing and now I'm freezing" and "a huge puffy duvet and now I'm boiling" to choose from, I also had "a little chilly, so I only need a couple throws" and "okay, maybe I'll pull one more blanket up over me" and "okay, maybe I just need the one blanket now" to adjust more precisely. It's like the bedding equivalent of layering in clothing.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:57 AM on March 29, 2024 [7 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:57 AM on March 29, 2024 [7 favorites]
I am 58, six years after my period stopped, and I am still extremely sensitive to heat and have difficulty regulating my body temperature. HRT was never an option for me for reasons. Some things I have found that help a lot: I have a tiny fan that plugs into a USB port. I use this at work every day, and it just cheerfully blows a little breeze onto me, and this has significantly reduced overheating episodes at work. I also have a couple of different cooling cloths, which are like scarves that stay damp for a really long time. Wrapping one of these around my neck really helps, and sometimes I literally just drape one over my head and then wrap it around my neck. I pretend I’m Grace Kelly.
In the summer, I carry disposable ice packs in my bag. The kind that you crack open and they get cold. These are a lifesaver on hot days. I put them on my wrists, the back of my neck, my forehead, wherever it feels like it’s going to help.
In my most recent talk with the relevant, medical professional, she told me that the the things I was doing were about all I could do.
As well as keeping a variety of bedding on the bed, as someone mentioned above, I have a fan blowing on me at night all the time. This has also made a huge difference. I really noticed it when I don’t have my fan for some reason.
I don’t enjoy this at all. But I can avoid the worst of it this way.
On editing this to fix a couple of typos, I realize you didn’t answer your question about whether remedies that you’re seeing work or not. I guess I’m telling you about what has worked for me, but I’m sorry if it’s not responsive to what you were hoping for.
posted by Well I never at 7:14 AM on March 29, 2024 [5 favorites]
In the summer, I carry disposable ice packs in my bag. The kind that you crack open and they get cold. These are a lifesaver on hot days. I put them on my wrists, the back of my neck, my forehead, wherever it feels like it’s going to help.
In my most recent talk with the relevant, medical professional, she told me that the the things I was doing were about all I could do.
As well as keeping a variety of bedding on the bed, as someone mentioned above, I have a fan blowing on me at night all the time. This has also made a huge difference. I really noticed it when I don’t have my fan for some reason.
I don’t enjoy this at all. But I can avoid the worst of it this way.
On editing this to fix a couple of typos, I realize you didn’t answer your question about whether remedies that you’re seeing work or not. I guess I’m telling you about what has worked for me, but I’m sorry if it’s not responsive to what you were hoping for.
posted by Well I never at 7:14 AM on March 29, 2024 [5 favorites]
Look for a doctor who is part of NAMS. https://www.menopause.org
posted by tingting at 7:44 AM on March 29, 2024 [2 favorites]
posted by tingting at 7:44 AM on March 29, 2024 [2 favorites]
I have been using a chilisleep for the last couple of years. It works for the mild overheating at night that may be perimenopause.
I don’t know if it would help for true hot flashes, but I do know it’s cheaper than air conditioning the whole house to the same temp, and my husband complains less (he likes being warm to sleep). It’s a bit expensive to just try, but if HRT is contraindicated, maybe.
posted by nat at 8:31 AM on March 29, 2024 [1 favorite]
I don’t know if it would help for true hot flashes, but I do know it’s cheaper than air conditioning the whole house to the same temp, and my husband complains less (he likes being warm to sleep). It’s a bit expensive to just try, but if HRT is contraindicated, maybe.
posted by nat at 8:31 AM on March 29, 2024 [1 favorite]
Agree with everyone upthread who said ask about hrt, and also Dr. Jen Gunter.
Also, wrt internet remedies, I find it really helps to substantially cut added sugars, especially alcohol. Like cocoagirl and gluten, I (and I think many others) find added sugar to contribute to inflammation, and a little too much is a free ticket to a couple nights of hot flashes for me. Sometimes the drinks are worth it, and other times they’re just not.
posted by toodleydoodley at 8:39 AM on March 29, 2024 [1 favorite]
Also, wrt internet remedies, I find it really helps to substantially cut added sugars, especially alcohol. Like cocoagirl and gluten, I (and I think many others) find added sugar to contribute to inflammation, and a little too much is a free ticket to a couple nights of hot flashes for me. Sometimes the drinks are worth it, and other times they’re just not.
posted by toodleydoodley at 8:39 AM on March 29, 2024 [1 favorite]
Oh also, re: waking up too hot (if that is part of your problem) - I've found, counterintuitively, that if I wear a sweatshirt to sleep I am less likely to get sweaty. I think the issue is that my arms tend to wander outside the covers and get cold, so the rest of my body then overheats trying to warm them up.
posted by mskyle at 9:23 AM on March 29, 2024
posted by mskyle at 9:23 AM on March 29, 2024
A couple of months ago, I suddenly started experiencing severe night sweats related to perimenopause. My doctor will not prescribe HRT. I cannot switch doctors, because I live in an area of Canada that has a doctor shortage. Referrals to gynaecologist here take months to years if it is non-urgent, and I cannot see a gynaecologist without a referral. All this is to explain why I, too, have been trying “remedies” that aren’t HRT.
The one thing that has, for the last few days, eliminated night sweats for me, is drinking 2 cups of soy milk every day. I know that the medical research on soy has shown it to be about as effective as placebo, but it’s working for me. The effectiveness rate in the studies I read seems to be about 30%, but that’s better than zero. Unless you have an allergy to soy, it is not going to hurt you to try. I’ll admit, I did not have high hopes when I tried it, and was pleasantly surprised to be able to get through the night without being woken up every hour and a half. The sleep deprivation over the last couple of months has left me shattered. Placebo effect or not, I’ll take it if it means that I am getting my sleep back.
This is miserable, and I hope you are able to get into a different doctor or gynaecologist who will actually help you.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:13 AM on March 29, 2024 [2 favorites]
The one thing that has, for the last few days, eliminated night sweats for me, is drinking 2 cups of soy milk every day. I know that the medical research on soy has shown it to be about as effective as placebo, but it’s working for me. The effectiveness rate in the studies I read seems to be about 30%, but that’s better than zero. Unless you have an allergy to soy, it is not going to hurt you to try. I’ll admit, I did not have high hopes when I tried it, and was pleasantly surprised to be able to get through the night without being woken up every hour and a half. The sleep deprivation over the last couple of months has left me shattered. Placebo effect or not, I’ll take it if it means that I am getting my sleep back.
This is miserable, and I hope you are able to get into a different doctor or gynaecologist who will actually help you.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:13 AM on March 29, 2024 [2 favorites]
In the meanwhile, I keep a fan on the floor next to bed where I can lean over and turn it on in the middle night. When I wake up with hot flash, I throw off my covers and turn on the fan. Usually it works fast enough that I will turn it off and pull up the sheet but sometimes I fall back asleep first. It means the hot flash still wakes you up but it got me comfortable and back to sleep faster.
posted by metahawk at 10:15 AM on March 29, 2024
posted by metahawk at 10:15 AM on March 29, 2024
I took Estroven (the one with rhapontic rhubarb). It worked for me in a subtle way- when I stopped taking it I noticed the difference in hot flash frequency and mood. It took a few weeks to have a noticeable effect, and it doesn't work for everyone. At the time I was having the worst hot flashes, I also had access to a cold-ish swimming pool (around 73 degrees) and the times I was able to sit in there for awhile seemed to have a lingering effect over the next few days.
I've always been a hot sleeper, so our bed was already set up to be as un-sweaty as possible: we have a natural latex mattress with cotton and wool top, these 40% lyocell sheets from IKEA, and cotton blankets and quilts in layers so I can throw off the appropriate amount. And a fan pointed at me.
I agree that you should probably take the time to find a new gynecologist because I don't understand why they would be so dismissive.
posted by oneirodynia at 10:23 AM on March 29, 2024
I've always been a hot sleeper, so our bed was already set up to be as un-sweaty as possible: we have a natural latex mattress with cotton and wool top, these 40% lyocell sheets from IKEA, and cotton blankets and quilts in layers so I can throw off the appropriate amount. And a fan pointed at me.
I agree that you should probably take the time to find a new gynecologist because I don't understand why they would be so dismissive.
posted by oneirodynia at 10:23 AM on March 29, 2024
I want to respond to the sleep issue. When I had started menopause and was having sleep problems, my female doctor said that was a common issue and I should just tough it out the way she had. Then I explained that I had had sleeping problems since my 30s and that sleeping poorly was a greater hazard to my health than taking sleeping pills on occasion.
For some reason, she thought I wanted a hard core drug like Ambien. I was like, just give me something mild to start with. I used it from time to time (like after 2 bad nights in a row), and it kind of reset my sleep for a while. Then it would happen again, and I would take another one. Being able to sleep kind of saved my life.
So I agree with the other commenters and also encourage you to push back on the narrative that you do not need a sleep aid. 1If the lack of sleep is affecting the quality of your life, then yes, speak up loudly about it. Good luck
posted by Bella Donna at 12:10 PM on March 29, 2024 [2 favorites]
For some reason, she thought I wanted a hard core drug like Ambien. I was like, just give me something mild to start with. I used it from time to time (like after 2 bad nights in a row), and it kind of reset my sleep for a while. Then it would happen again, and I would take another one. Being able to sleep kind of saved my life.
So I agree with the other commenters and also encourage you to push back on the narrative that you do not need a sleep aid. 1If the lack of sleep is affecting the quality of your life, then yes, speak up loudly about it. Good luck
posted by Bella Donna at 12:10 PM on March 29, 2024 [2 favorites]
To the OP:
I feel that while you've gotten a lot of responses, you haven't actually received an answer to your question. I can't fully answer it, but here's what I can say.posted by loup at 1:26 PM on March 29, 2024 [1 favorite]
I've also been dealing with hot flashes. I spoke to my gyno about it. She said there are medical treatments/prescriptions that might help, but she also said there are some herbal/natural approaches to dealing with the symptoms as well and asked me what I wanted to do. I said I'd try the herbal ones first and then, if necessary, give the prescription ones a shot.
She gave me a list of three supplements that she said should be available in most drug stores or places that sell herbal/natural supplements. The order order I'm presenting them in is the order she suggested, which is the weakest to the strongest:
--Promensil (red clover)
--Femarelle
--Menosmart (comb herbs).
Now, here's where I say I can't fully answer your question. I never wound up taking any of them, as I think I've come to realize that my hot flashes seem to be triggered by another medication I have been prescribed. I need to figure out whether that's truly the issue, so I'm avoiding doing anything that might alleviate the problem since then I won't actually know what is happening.
I hope you find relief. And if what I've written provides you with some, that's great. If other people want to chime in and say everything I've told you is all woo that doesn't work, that's okay too. I just wanted to actually go at least partway down the path to giving you an answer to your actual question, especially if your medial professionals aren't helping and you need to take some actions to help yourself. You can't write yourself a prescription but you can try one or more of these options (assuming you check that there are no ingredients in them that you're allergic to, etc.) I know how hard it is when you're left on your own medically, so I hope this helps.
I have friends who swear by the Embr bracelet.
https://embrlabs.com/
posted by virve at 1:52 PM on March 29, 2024
https://embrlabs.com/
posted by virve at 1:52 PM on March 29, 2024
Here's Dr. Gunter's substack, where you can search for specific remedies you might want to try. She sends out a newsletter regularly and has it posted online too, freely, as far as I can tell.
posted by bluedaisy at 2:02 PM on March 29, 2024 [2 favorites]
posted by bluedaisy at 2:02 PM on March 29, 2024 [2 favorites]
I have an Embr Wave and it helps a lot. It does not prevent hot flashes but it helps lessen them. It comes with two programmable buttons (you program it through an App). I have it programmed for short (5 minutes) cooling for hot flashes and a longer hour of cooling to go to sleep. You can program the sleep setting to cool for 8 hours but I found that didn't work well for me. I can't do HRT so use the Wave, a fan pointed right at me and a water bottle on my night stand. And a cooling pillow cover - purchased at COSTCO. There are also cooling mattress pads besides the chilisleep one.
posted by leslies at 4:05 PM on March 29, 2024
posted by leslies at 4:05 PM on March 29, 2024
30 yrs ago acupuncture & chinese herbs made menopause a breeze - recommended highly. See if you can find an older woman practitioner.
posted by Mesaverdian at 12:30 PM on March 30, 2024
posted by Mesaverdian at 12:30 PM on March 30, 2024
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