The Art of Noise
May 9, 2006 11:17 AM   Subscribe

Do you talk whilst doing it*?

I never know if I should gab, pillow talk or just machine away.

*the in and out
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket to Human Relations (41 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

posted by smich at 11:19 AM on May 9, 2006

Further, I never know if I should give in to the mild temptation to sound like a porn movie, "oh your * is so * and it * so * * *." Or just like converse about the day.
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 11:24 AM on May 9, 2006

Yes, and she'll often tell me to shut up :) I think most women would do the same, so you've got nothing to worry about.
posted by wackybrit at 11:24 AM on May 9, 2006

Whatever gets you and your partner hot.

When you don't know your partner, figuring out what works for both of you is part of the frisson and fun!
posted by papercake at 11:26 AM on May 9, 2006

Talking/noise = huge turn-on.

(Are we allowed these types of threads?)
posted by theredpen at 11:42 AM on May 9, 2006


though afterwards I couldn't tell you what I'd said even if I was inclined to share it
posted by small_ruminant at 11:49 AM on May 9, 2006

Just like, you know, "touch my this", "suck my such-and-such", "something all over my whatever".
posted by ed\26h at 11:54 AM on May 9, 2006

Sometimes the conversations get too interesting, though. Or just too weird to carry on while... carrying on. Be careful what you talk about.

Conversely, non-conversation talking can be nice, although I never really know what to say without sounding completely stupid. Some kind of (happy sounding) noise is probably best.

Okay, probably not only "happy sounding" noises. Something that makes your partner know you're enjoying yourself. Complete silence is kinda creepy.
posted by ruby.aftermath at 11:58 AM on May 9, 2006

I have no problems talking dirty or expressing my desires before or after, but I always feel self-concious if I talk during, like I'm reading some second rate porn script.

This is especially weird since I'm pretty sure that my SO likes the added, ahem, input.
posted by lekvar at 11:58 AM on May 9, 2006

Unless you're telling me how hot I look or are whispering all the dirty things you want to do to me, no. We're fucking, not chatting. Talking during sex is a real turn-off for me.
posted by meerkatty at 12:02 PM on May 9, 2006

("Otters all over my colander!" "Suck my galoshes!" ed\26h's sex life would make for awesome Mad Libs.)

Making small talk is bad. But hey, if something happens that you'd comment on with your clothes on (noise at the door, hair in mouth, Ms. Bucket looks especially ravishing), feel free to comment with your clothes off.
posted by nebulawindphone at 12:03 PM on May 9, 2006 [3 favorites]

I think it's fair game - talking, chatting, giggling. I mean, the way to keep it from sounding like a "second rate porn script" is to be real. Don't take it too seriously, if something happens, crack a joke about it. Otherwise it's just awkward.

Just do not talk about sports, the weather, or work. Talking is allowed, boring talking is not.
posted by SassHat at 12:19 PM on May 9, 2006

Yes, but only while wearing my seatbelt.
posted by found missing at 12:21 PM on May 9, 2006

yeah- it's not like I'm talking about my day at work. I stick to the subject at hand. so to speak.
posted by small_ruminant at 12:30 PM on May 9, 2006

Metafilter: "Something all over my whatever!"

But seriously, yes, talking about the matter at hand can be very helpful. Looking back, most of my partners either engaged in this behavior, appreciated it when I did, or both. Sometimes namecalling is appreciated, as well.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 12:43 PM on May 9, 2006

Yes. But avoid phrases such as: "Will this affect my grade in your class?" or "I don't have enough money for the pizza. Can we work something out?"

Some women have no sense of humor.
posted by horsewithnoname at 12:48 PM on May 9, 2006

There is some talking that goes on, but it's very businesslike.

There are also plenty of un-businesslike noises because yeah... complete silence is a turn-off. Unless of course, this is a stealth mission. In which case, trying to be quiet is half the fun.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 12:51 PM on May 9, 2006

most of my coital communications are for the sake of utility. if someone tried to "talk dirty to me," I'd probably reply with, "oooooook" and finish up.

I will say, however, that it's a bad idea to give a high-five in the middle of the act.
posted by mcsweetie at 12:54 PM on May 9, 2006

No, a bad idea is, "Have I ever told you how much you remind me of my father?"
posted by mullingitover at 1:16 PM on May 9, 2006

Sometimes I say the alphabet backwards.
posted by wsg at 1:21 PM on May 9, 2006

Just don't think about it. If you can't let your guard down then, then when can you?
posted by sonofsamiam at 1:21 PM on May 9, 2006 [1 favorite]

I'm all in favor of the talking so long as it's real and not cliche'd. I'm a very verbal person and it clicks into my brain in a really nice way if the person is really into what they're saying. Also, a little friendly, silly, goofing around verbally and flirting is nice to create a comfortable, playful atmosphere. But it really depends on the verbal inclination of the partner.
posted by matildaben at 1:32 PM on May 9, 2006

Yes, I find a little whispering whilst love-making can really get the juices flowing. Gently communicating things like "You look so sexy in this candle light", "would you like another chocolate-covered strawberry?", "is the Al Green too loud?" and "let me know if that hurts your asshole" can only be viewed as attentive caring by a fellow lover. And bonus - while you're there you can playfully nibble on the earlobe a bit.
posted by racist dunk-tank clown at 1:41 PM on May 9, 2006 [1 favorite]

Yes, but be wary of saying something so funny that she bursts out laughing for a good 5-10 minutes, ignoring your tender ministrations.

Does wonders for your self esteem, that.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:57 PM on May 9, 2006

matildaben nailed it for me. (So to speak.)

Playful chat in context = big ups. I hate people who are so consistently Serious in bed.

(Having said that, I can recall having been told to shut up at least twice.)
posted by mykescipark at 3:13 PM on May 9, 2006

Silent bugs me, talking about sports or music bugs me.

But I love a partner who says things like, "faster, harder, slower" and of course variations on "ohyesrighttheredon'tstopdon'tstop."
posted by KirkJobSluder at 5:00 PM on May 9, 2006

Yes, but it's mostly directional or sexual ("Oh, that makes me feel good!," but that could be both sexual or directional, I guess).
posted by itchie at 5:13 PM on May 9, 2006

That's the only time he'll listen to what I did all day!
posted by banjo_and_the_pork at 5:20 PM on May 9, 2006 [1 favorite]

I talk. I prefer to ask for outrageous things -- because in bed the answer is always yes. (Especially right before, rather than during, I suppose. Though if one pauses contemplatively while asking, during works.)
posted by Margalo Epps at 7:10 PM on May 9, 2006

Sometimes, but it's not really me. I tend to lose myself internally, not externally. Good sex takes me a long way beyond speech.
posted by Decani at 7:27 PM on May 9, 2006

Sometimes I say the alphabet backwards.

You should do that on her clit with your tongue.

posted by Decani at 7:28 PM on May 9, 2006

Vocal feedback is greatly appreciated, but linguistic feedback isn't necessary for that.
posted by NortonDC at 8:10 PM on May 9, 2006

Non-lingual verbalisations are a must. Requests, guidance, reassurances, are great too. Dirty talk is marvellous. But what's really fun is talking about something completely unrelated while gettin' it on. Like asking someone to explain dark matter, for example, or having an debate about grammar. Now that's hot.
posted by hot soup girl at 9:45 PM on May 9, 2006

And funny.
posted by hot soup girl at 9:46 PM on May 9, 2006

I think it's good practice to talk while doing it. It's pretty cool to have your partner say how good you make them feel.
posted by Packy_1962 at 9:19 AM on May 10, 2006

OH, but the dark matter/grammer debate thing sounds pretty hot too.
posted by Packy_1962 at 9:19 AM on May 10, 2006

Packy_1962, it's "grammar." OH BABY! correcting others really gets me hot. [lights cigarette]
posted by theredpen at 11:44 AM on May 10, 2006

The Girl and I talk during sex all the time. Most of the time it's her begging for whatever it is she wants me to do to her next, but we've definitely had times when we just started talking about random stuff. Lots of fun.
posted by Netzapper at 2:50 PM on May 10, 2006

Talk? Hell.. My partner once read a magazine during.

It was entirely based on a dare that she wouldn't do it. New Scientist is an interesting magazine, but not *that* interesting.
posted by tomble at 11:45 PM on May 10, 2006

I think you should do whatever it is that feels right. But I do like to hear taht my partner is having a good time.
posted by mgarnhum at 9:12 AM on May 12, 2006

I know I'm a little late, but I had to chip in on this one.

Talk = good.

At the very least, moans and groans of appreciation. Sex wouldn't be sex if it were silent. Talking about it while you're do it makes it even better.
posted by ElfWord at 10:27 AM on May 18, 2006

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