Stories / movies about children improving behavior
February 26, 2024 12:05 PM   Subscribe

My kindergartener is suddenly getting in trouble for not listening, getting distracted with his friends, and disrupting the class. I can tell it feels very difficult and shameful for him, he feels like he is a bad kid, and I want to help him feel empowered to do better (of course, I'm already working with the teachers). I think he would respond well to stories about kids who get in trouble and then turn things around. Example I already have and love - Today was a Terrible Day. Any book / movie / tv show recommendations that are elementary-school appropriate? (more mature than kindergarten OK)
posted by beyond_pink to Human Relations (20 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
 
Best answer: I know that this is the most obnoxious thing in the world - inserting unsolicited opinions on parenting matters - but with apologies in advance, I feel compelled to suggest that perhaps your son would benefit from reading about children who are gleefully and happily "bad"? Books that put "badness" in perspective for him as not moral decrepitude but a matter of fun and natural developmental phases, you know?

Anyway, here's a book that satisfies your criterion while also refusing to stigmatize "bad behavior" as something that One Must Wag Fingers At And Correct Forthwith:

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst

A book that satisfies my criterion but not yours:
Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak

Orthogonal to both your criteria and mine, but nevertheless an excellent book for children which will further their moral development by giving them lots to think about in terms of what good and "bad" might really mean, and as a bonus, this is a book that is stupendous fun to read aloud:
The Twits by Roald Dahl

Your poor kiddo can work on ways to burn off his energy so that he is less physically or vocally (loudness) disruptive, but gosh, I hope his teachers aren't making him feel like it's wrong to socialize with friends. Pandemic babies in particular really need all the socializing they can get. These children shouldn't be held to the usual standards of classroom decorum when they're in kindergarten!
posted by MiraK at 12:13 PM on February 26, 2024 [10 favorites]


Kindergarten is for learning to listen, sit still, etc. What academics are being presented? Maybe he's not ready. I'd be talking to the teacher about ways in which the class is not meeting his needs, as opposed to how he's not meeting the needs of the class.

2nding recommendations above. Where the Wild Things Are was popular in our home for years. My son has attentional and other issues and some classrooms were very challenging. Oddly, the former nun who taught in a traditional manner was pretty successful.
posted by theora55 at 12:20 PM on February 26, 2024 [6 favorites]


Best answer: No idea how they have aged (my mom read this series to me when I was 5-7, a little over 30 years ago - they are originally from the 40s/50s), but the Mrs. Piggle wiggle books are all about how she tricks kids into changing their behavior. I recall really enjoying them as a young kid.
posted by coffeecat at 12:25 PM on February 26, 2024 [16 favorites]


Ok so he's an alien and not a "kid", but when I taught elementary school I noticed that many, many of the kids who felt like they were "bad" (or were told they were bad!) really identified with Stitch from Lilo & Stitch.
posted by goodbyewaffles at 12:30 PM on February 26, 2024 [8 favorites]


Best answer: Ramona the Pest is a winner in this department - it’s a chapter book but great for bedtime. One very nice thing about the whole series is the family is true middle class and has to budget, etc. It’s a bit dated but holds up pretty well.
posted by warriorqueen at 12:39 PM on February 26, 2024 [18 favorites]


Also came to recommend Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, but the "trouble" they get into seems pretty tame. Loved them as a kid in the late '60s, and the care the parents and she have for these kids always stood out to me. YMMV.
posted by XtineHutch at 12:57 PM on February 26, 2024 [1 favorite]


Best answer: What about The Bad Seed ?

I don't remember all the details, but I think it goes into how painful it can be to be labeled "bad," which your kiddo might find validating.
posted by Otis the Lion at 1:13 PM on February 26, 2024 [3 favorites]


Best answer: My son just suggested A Boy Called BAT - technically the protagonist is on the autism spectrum but I think it also has a good “bad days at school aren’t the end” vibe. He also suggested The Name Jar - not sure that’s as relevant, but I pass it on.
posted by warriorqueen at 1:22 PM on February 26, 2024 [3 favorites]


You could go all German - Shockheaded Peter.
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 2:38 PM on February 26, 2024 [1 favorite]


Paddington gets sent to prison in Paddington 2, but by endearing himself to his fellow prisoners and with the belief of his loving family all is put right.
posted by biffa at 3:55 PM on February 26, 2024


As someone whose kid got suspended in kindergarten, I would recommend this video: Kids Do Well When They Can. (Twist! It's for the adults not the kid)

More info on the Ross Greene approach.
posted by splitpeasoup at 4:15 PM on February 26, 2024 [5 favorites]


Yeah The Bad Seed is what you're asking for. Sunflower seed almost gets eaten, gets angry, acts out, realizes it's not who they want to be, changes their ways, improves their reputation.

If I could think of one where a good kid is misunderstood by a mean teacher with unreasonable expectations I'd suggest that instead.
posted by slidell at 5:52 PM on February 26, 2024


I just hope that he is not getting told off for “not listening” and “disrupting the class” because he is (for instance) listening while not looking at the teacher, or moving his body in a way that helps him to focus. “Whole body listening” is really hard for kindergarten age kids, let alone with any neurodiversity in the mix.
posted by slightlybewildered at 6:55 PM on February 26, 2024 [8 favorites]


Best answer: So many good books about being bad! And then doing better. Or when doing bad is being better:
We don't eat our classmates
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks
What the Dinosaurs did at school
17 things I'm Not Allowed to Do
A rule is to break
It Came in the Mail
And all the Pigeon books.
The Bad Guys series.
Circle
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
Lily's Purple Plastic Purse
posted by Toddles at 9:23 PM on February 26, 2024 [3 favorites]


Alphabreaths might be helpful. It’s not specifically what you’re looking for, but if he relates to kids getting into trouble and struggling to turn it around, this might be a nice companion to those stories (“what do you think [character] should do?”—kiddo might say “alligator breaths!” and you could practice them together). Having something a little special to do when dysregulated is nice because grownups often make the mistake of telling kids to just stop behaviors as if it’s that simple. If a kid could turn their behavior around just by choosing to, they would. But kids don’t know that, and a lot of grownups don’t remember what it felt like before they had the kind of impulse control and self-soothing skills needed to get out of tricky situations. Breathing skills are nice for calming/self-regulating, and they’re an easy example of a bigger category—useful skills to draw on when something upsets you. Littles need lots of prompting for the more complex skills in that category, but they can often get good at choosing to take a couple breaths when they need to slow themselves down or re-regulate. When kids think they’re bad, they tend to feel hopeless about ever changing into a “good” kid. I wonder if your kid, who feels shame about being perceived as “bad,” could feel proud of himself for choosing to do alligator breaths when he was upset—it would be a great way to reinforce that he’s not bad, he’s a kid who is still learning how to handle his emotions, school, peers, etc.
posted by theotherdurassister at 9:38 PM on February 26, 2024


Best answer: Paul Learns to Be Polite is a book I grabbed from Dollar Tree. It's a really simple story about a kid who acts out and learns that his behavior affects other people (for example, he tracks mud through the house, his mom had just mopped, she's frustrated and upset).

If the issue is more general high spirits, I second the Ramona books.
posted by champers at 2:22 AM on February 27, 2024


No, David! might fit the theme.
posted by eleanna at 7:52 AM on February 27, 2024 [1 favorite]


Jack gantos' Joey pizga books
posted by brujita at 1:22 PM on February 27, 2024


Your son's teacher needs to be involved here. All behavior is a form of communication and has an inciting incident that may be obvious or more subtle. What's triggering this behavior? Is it sitting still for too long? Is it right before recess or lunch? He may not know what's going on, but his body is responding to something in his environment and trying to reconcile what to do with that stimuli.
posted by The Adventure Begins at 8:56 AM on February 28, 2024 [1 favorite]


Just realized I didn't leave a book recommendation! I think Where the Wild Things Are is a good one because it emphasizes that even when you're wild you are still loved AND loveable.
posted by The Adventure Begins at 9:51 AM on February 28, 2024 [1 favorite]


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