Food etiquette for kid birthday parties?
January 11, 2024 5:20 PM   Subscribe

I am hosting my kid's birthday party from 10am to noon. Do I serve pizza or what are the cool kids having?

It'll be about 20 or so kids ranging from 4-7 years old. Maybe some of their parents might stay for the party, we are leaving it up to them to drop off or hang out. I was initially thinking heavy snacks but my partner thinks we should just order a bunch of cheese pizzas ($20 for an XL). Then I thought, maybe I should do like mini bagels, fruit, and juice (coffee for parents) as a brunch-y sort of vibe? Or is that overkill? And I guess I would have to serve the little kids?

I would LOVE to keep costs low and not be stressed out.

The general vibe will be a coloring activity/playing to start off, 1 hour of booked entertainment, then maybe 30 minutes for food and birthday cake.
posted by inevitability to Food & Drink (29 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
Best answer: +1 vote for XL cheese pizzas. You don’t have to make your life harder than it already is.
posted by Juniper Toast at 5:26 PM on January 11, 2024 [19 favorites]


I mean, are you trying to impress people or make this easy? You have booked entertainment for a kid's birthday party and 20 (!) kids coming, so I feel like you're already going extra. Kids' birthday parties can get exhausting. The more you do, the more pressure on everyone else, and the more you feel like you'll have to do next year. It's a morning thing, so you could get away with fruit and veggie snacks or something, but that could take more work too. So maybe a few pizzas (three? one piece each for the kids and the adults can share what's left?) would be easiest.

(For future years, the thing I always did for my kids: you can have over as many kids as the age you are turning. That definitely helps keeps things less expensive, too. Try hard to avoid raising any bars higher than they already are.)
posted by bluedaisy at 5:31 PM on January 11, 2024 [7 favorites]


Your plan sounds solid. Pizza for kids and adults. Bagels/fruit/coffee, maybe Mimosas for the adults would be a nice touch?
posted by greta simone at 5:32 PM on January 11, 2024


Except for coffee, I don't think you can really serve food to adult and presume the kids won't want it. So if you're getting bagels and such for adults, it might be eaten by kids.
posted by bluedaisy at 5:34 PM on January 11, 2024 [1 favorite]


I guess Costco and such have premade party platters of whatever style you like. Can't really go wrong, I think. Maybe get a veg option too.
posted by alexei at 5:38 PM on January 11, 2024 [2 favorites]


Best answer: Pizza. The correct answer is always pizza.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:39 PM on January 11, 2024 [23 favorites]


I would do pizza for a delivery sometime in the last hour, with some basic snacks before then - nothing elaborate - pretzels, chips, that sort of thing - you don't want anyone to get hangry.
posted by coffeecat at 5:46 PM on January 11, 2024


As a person who never much liked pizza as a kid and still doesn’t like cheese pizza as an adult, I still vote for pizza. It’s predictable yet flexible, easy to portion up as tiny as a kid might need, okay to eat at room temperature, and something every attendee is likely to be familiar with. Fruit is also a good idea. Maybe avoid bagels because they are harder to portion up for a kid and not as good without toppings and toasting and all that. Most parents I know expect any birthday party to be kind of a crapshoot in terms of food and plan accordingly, either for a late lunch, bringing snacks, a big breakfast beforehand, or directly asking the party planner so they can plan accordingly. So just pick something simple and communicate it to the adults. Pizza is simple.
posted by Mizu at 5:47 PM on January 11, 2024 [2 favorites]


I went to a birthday party in December and in addition to the pizza they had some platters from Subway which was nice.
I think I did a BBQ one year for my younger kid but every other year has been pizza. Kids parties = pizza.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 5:48 PM on January 11, 2024


For future years, the thing I always did for my kids: you can have over as many kids as the age you are turning. That definitely helps keeps things less expensive, too. Try hard to avoid raising any bars higher than they already are.

Why does this make me picture having to provide seventeen XL pizzas, plus drinks and snacks, at my kid's birthday the year they turn seventeen? I'd say start with eighteen guests and reduce the number by one each year!
posted by Jane the Brown at 5:56 PM on January 11, 2024 [1 favorite]


If I were invited to a kids' birthday party ending at noon, I would not expect lunch to be served. The pizza might go uneaten b/c people had planned other things for lunch. I think brunchy-snackey things would make more sense.

Honest to god, I'm thinking I'm an adult showing up at a little kid's birthday party in the morning and they have coffee and donuts. What a delight. Kids also... very much enjoy donuts. Example of a food that you can buy in bulk for cheap: donuts.

I guess what I'm saying is donuts. You can even do kind of fancy donuts (if you live in a place that has fancy donut stores) and it's still not *that* expensive.
posted by mr_roboto at 5:56 PM on January 11, 2024 [23 favorites]


Simple and low stress? +another vote for kids parties = pizza

If you really want something else/extra, a couple bags of clementines or mandarin oranges.

Have a fun party!
posted by subwaytiles at 6:01 PM on January 11, 2024 [1 favorite]


Kids birthday parties have a meal schedule outside all social norms. I used to go to parties between two and four PM, after normal lunch and before a proper dinner, and still there was pizza and cake in the last forty minutes. Everyone from the 5 year olds to the grandmas and great aunties ate some and it becomes a totally accepted fourth major meal with dessert.

There’s also kind of a nice momentum - when kids are starting to get tired/wild/ungovernable after an hour the food is a stop break and reset. Then there’s a building momentum of pizza, singing, cake, party favors, and thanks bye go home to get everyone in sync with leaving around the same time.

If you get a jug of coffee for the parents they will love you. I would buy iced coffee as it’s faster to pour and safer to manage than a hot beverage.
posted by sol at 6:26 PM on January 11, 2024 [4 favorites]


We did bagels and fruit and coffee every year for a morning party for ages and recently switched to late afternoon with just heavy snacks (fruit, cheese, crackers, popcorn etc). Pizza is great though! One tip is have the place double cut it, so the slices are tiny.
posted by vunder at 6:44 PM on January 11, 2024


Also agree that donuts are excellently easy instead of cake or cupcakes. (Mini cupcakes are good too.)
posted by vunder at 6:51 PM on January 11, 2024


I'm another vote for donuts (which I have enjoyed at other kids parties). A morning party seems a bit early for pizza. Add in some coffee, juice, mini oranges, bananas, grapes, etc. and I don't think anyone will be disappointed or go hungry.
posted by brookeb at 6:58 PM on January 11, 2024


Response by poster: Ok for those voting donuts, which I briefly thought of, my kiddo still wants to have birthday cake/cupcake. Too much sugar??
posted by inevitability at 7:26 PM on January 11, 2024


i would be totally satisfied as a guest w pizza, at that time it’s hard.

here in LA, i’ve been to many birthday parties fancier than my wedding. and i only know how to overfeed people, so with that as my perspective, i’d probably do fruit, donuts, mini bagels and plain cream cheese, coffee/mimosas. with a bottomless budget, i’d do a catering order from home state of breakfast tacos. l
posted by beignet at 7:26 PM on January 11, 2024


Too much sugar is, in my experience, a typical and accepted part of children’s parties.
posted by sacrifix at 7:42 PM on January 11, 2024 [3 favorites]


Pizza and juice boxes for kids. Coffee for the adults who stay. A bowl of hand fruit for those who might be interested.
posted by Toddles at 7:52 PM on January 11, 2024


Oh yeah, don't get donuts and then serve birthday cake. It's a nice idea but too much. And then the kids won't enjoy the cake as much. Pizza and cake is plenty for 11:30am.
posted by bluedaisy at 9:00 PM on January 11, 2024 [2 favorites]


Don’t serve mimosas to people you don’t know well who are then going to have to drive their kids home. Too much risk.
posted by Sweetie Darling at 3:01 AM on January 12, 2024 [8 favorites]


I vote pizza but also put out a fresh fruit tray and a fresh veggie tray in a separate area so that people who are vegan / lactose intolerant / allergic to dairy or wheat / dislikers of pizza can theoretically have something. That also satisfies the need to have something more "adult" than pizza available.

I also say if you want cake and donuts do that. Is it too much sugar? Sure. It's a birthday party though. You're supposed to have too much sugar. (My kid's in college now and "serving too many desserts at birthdays" is not among my regrets.)
posted by BlueJae at 5:30 AM on January 12, 2024 [1 favorite]


I was surprised at how many 7 year old kids ate from the veggie and dip tray, as well as the fruit salad, which had a lot of strawberries. My kid hates cantaloupe so I didn’t include that. Hot dogs are super easy and fun for kids to add their toppings (ketchup, mustard, shredded cheese). Pizza is fine, but I personally am really bored with it because it’s always at parties!
posted by waving at 6:51 AM on January 12, 2024


Best answer: Judging from what I see on the very busy 4yo birthday party circuit, which is heavily influencing the fourth birthday party I'm planning for later this month, go for pizza, one each fruit and veggie trays from Costco, a Costco box of goldfish crackers in individual serving pouches, juice boxes and bottles of water, and cake/cupcakes. There's definitely something to be said for using the food to set the momentum for the party wind-down: Put the fruit, veggies and crackers out early in case of low blood sugar hangry situations, then get the pizza delivered for about 11:15/11:20, serve the food at 11:30, sing happy birthday and eat cake at 11:45, and the transition to goodie bags, jackets and goodbyes should come naturally after that.
posted by notquitejane at 8:19 AM on January 12, 2024 [4 favorites]


20 kids, 4-7? That's a lot. Hope you've got a large space! If you don't have that, rethink because:

In two hours, you're looking at wrangling 20 kids

- into the house
- out of coats and shoes
- into an activity
- out of the activity, including transition difficulties
- into sitting down for entertainment
- to the bathroom if needed
- to wash hands before eating
- to a table/buffet
- into singing "Happy Birthday"
- to wash hands again, because they'll be greasy
- to hand over presents (including possible meltdowns)
- into coats and shoes
- out the door

I don't think that will work. If the parents stay, they're extra guests taking up space. If they don't, you'll be responsible for 20 kids' emotions, bathroom breaks, nourishment, fights, little injuries...that adds up.

You've probably booked the entertainment and invited all the kids, but you can at least make things easier for you with the food now. Providing a meal is not your responsibility. Even coffee for grownups is over-the-top with the work you're already doing - but setting out iced coffee is a good compromise. A cake or something is expected, yes. But only go for pizza if you're certain that will make things easier, not better. Otherwise, snacks are perfect and the kids want time to play! They can eat at home.

Cheapish and safe snacks that also don't take up a lot of time and are not very greasy/sticky/wet include baby carrots, cucumber wedges, cherry tomatoes, cheese cubes, breadsticks, goldfish, non-buttered microwave popcorn, and simple cookies or gummy candy.

PS: Don't worry about the amount of sugar. It's two hours of those kids' lives. They'll be fine.
posted by toucan at 8:31 AM on January 12, 2024


If you do hot dogs do a mental scan for vegetarian and halal options. (In my area this would be non-negotiable, which is why cheese pizza with a smaller dairy-free cheese pizza on the side is the party default.)

However: call your local pizza place and check when their earliest delivery can be. I am in a Canadian context but got tripped up on that for an entire day camp that was going on a field trip.

If you want to do a parent/kid graze table I would recommend: pretzels, sliced cheese, mini pitas or a sliced baguette, orange slices, apple or cantaloupe. I wouldn’t personally do doughnuts because I like to serve sugar and then hand the kids off.

With kids the trick is to keep things familiar and plain, kind of the opposite of adult parties.
posted by warriorqueen at 8:56 AM on January 12, 2024


Here, the rule is that one either invites all the kids from the child's class, or all those of the same gender, or none. I'm not saying that to introduce that rule to the US, just to say that here 20+ kids is the norm so you get where I'm coming from.

The most successful parties I've been at started with rather challenging activities*, like a treasure hunt with maps and hints, or some games that involve physical activity. These may very well include snacks. As in: the rewards in the treasure hunt are goodie bags, or a game could be who can eat a donut or a mandarin orange with their hands on their back the fastest. Or an egg run, but with something delicious instead of an egg on the spoon. Freeze dance is good, too, as is hide and seek, if you have the right space for it. The plan is to wear the kids down before the entertainment arrives. From experience, treasure hunts should never be conducted indoors, ever. If done in a local park, beware of dog poop, condoms and drugs.

The grand finale is the meal. I am on team pizza here. But a table full of vegetable sticks, nuts, fruits, crackers and delicious dips works very well with that age group. Maybe divide the dips into little single serve containers to avoid double dipping, they'd enjoy that too. I don't know about prices where you are, but it should be comparable to pizza, specially if you make the dips at home (mayo, yogurt, hummus, salsa, guacamole etc). Kids really love when they can pick and mix on their own. You can even add pizza into the mix, and french fries if you have a good delivery service where you live.

If you want a healthier cake/cupcake situation, you can go with carrot cake. I personally prefer a chocolate top instead of icing, but that's just me.

At one school my kids went to, there was a tradition that there would be some sort of bubbles for the parents when they arrived to pick up. Mimosas would be excellent, with peanuts or something. I sort of hated it, but it was undeniably excellent for building a communal spirit.

*the best ever birthday, still remembered in the whole neighbourhood, was for 3-5 year old toddlers at the preschool. We all went out to a park with a big cooking area and a safe playground, and cooked a stew/soup thing with seasonal (winter) vegetables and pheasants. The kids helped cut up the veg and pluck the feathers off of the pheasants, and they could run to and from the "kitchen" and play safely in the play area. No external entertainment, and no cake or candy, but a memory for life. I think I slept for 12 hours after that, but so did the kiddo. This was arranged with the preschool as an educational project, so no parents were directly involved, but it meant a lot of bonding with the excellent staff there. All not directly relevant to the specific ask, but perhaps worth thinking about for future situations.
posted by mumimor at 9:46 AM on January 12, 2024


Response by poster: Ok thanks all! I realized the kiddos generally have lunch around 11:15 so I will do a pizza delivery around then, and then put out some Costco-sized individual snacks and water/juice just in case there are any hangry kids. If I feel up for it in the morning, I will (ask someone to) get coffee and donuts. :)
posted by inevitability at 6:36 PM on January 16, 2024


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