Pre-school level books about grief?

December 8, 2023 7:28 AM

Are there books for pre-schoolers about helping others process grief?

One of my preschooler's friends experienced the loss of a family member a while ago. We talked with our kid on an age appropriate and clear level about how their friend might be feeling sad or mad for a while due to his family members death, but it didn't really sink in for our kid until recently when their friend started talking about his loss.

I am trying to find picture books about helping friends deal with loss. There seem to be plenty of books geared toward the children who have directly experienced the loss but I'm specifically looking for ones that are more along the narrative a friend being sad because something bad happened and that sadness getting easier over time.

So far two I have found like this are:
Maybe Tomorrow? by Charlotte Agell
The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld

Picture books in English or French would be helpful here.

posted by donut_princess to Education (12 answers total)

Well I came here to recommend The Rabbit Listened, which you already have. (This book is so wonderful; I think of it often personally.)

Ida Always is very focused on the main griever, but there is a discussion of other grievers as well.
posted by samthemander at 7:42 AM on December 8, 2023

Best answer: Not a book, but Daniel Tiger has the song/show “it’s ok to feel sad sometimes… little, by little, you’ll feel better again!”
posted by samthemander at 7:46 AM on December 8, 2023 [1 favorite]

My kids' grandfather died when they were in preschool, and we got the book When Dinosaurs Die out of the library. They asked to read it over and over, and then we read it again many times when our family dog died a few months later. It definitely touches on different ways people might feel after the death of a loved one, and how other people can help.
posted by SeedStitch at 8:14 AM on December 8, 2023

Rodney Was a Tortoise might work for you. It's from the perspective of the little girl dealing with the loss of her pet, but is very much about the way her friend helps her deal with her grief.
posted by darchildre at 9:34 AM on December 8, 2023

The Invisible String is another one we used - not specifically about grief but love and connection.
posted by brilliantine at 10:09 AM on December 8, 2023 [1 favorite]

These may be a little aspirational, as they're geared a smidge older, but processing and understanding grief is not one-and-done, it's one-millionish-until-you-die, so it's fine to have some books to grow into:

The End of Something Wonderful
Everywhere, Still: A Book about Loss, Grief, and the Way Love Continues
posted by Lyn Never at 10:15 AM on December 8, 2023

Best answer: Funny you should ask, I am in the process of putting together a list of books on specific topics (potty training, grief about human loved one, grief about pet, hitting, biting) because people ask me for them so much at work.

How to help a friend by Karl Newson is specifically for helping a friend who feels sad or is going through it
The goodbye book by Todd Parr is about grief when you lose someone. Todd Parr in general is really good for pre-K.
Sitting shiva by Erin Silver has specific details of Jewish practice but I think the overall message and impact of the book is relevant to everyone-- it's very good for the message of "It's OK to grieve, your loved ones will help you, death is part of life." It works even if shiva is not your custom.
Still mine by Jane Pillemer is one of my recent favorites in the "picture books about death" department. It's a great reminder that you still love someone who has gone.
There was a hole by Adam Lerhaupt is also about the experience of grief and how it never goes away but does become livable.

Tell someone by Debra Kempf is a good general one about emotions and sharing your problems. It's sort of sideway to your request but worth looking at.
posted by blnkfrnk at 10:54 AM on December 8, 2023 [1 favorite]

Something Very Sad Happened is a more literal discussion of what death means for very small toddlers.

Seconding The Invisible String and Ida, Always.

But our very favorite in that messed-up section of our toddler's library was The Memory Tree, which among these is probably the best in terms of community and mutual-support themes. To this day, if my kid requests this one, my spouse and I have to tag-team it because neither one of us can get through the whole thing without crying.
posted by catesbie at 11:14 AM on December 8, 2023

Best answer: I think you've explicitly said you're not interested in books about children who have experienced grief, so please forgive me for recommending the Everett Anderson books, especially Everett Anderson's Goodbye. Many of the other ones (Everett Anderson's Year, for example) touch on his loss of his father but this one explores it in depth.
posted by AbelMelveny at 1:50 PM on December 8, 2023

My daughter has been struggling with the general concepts of grief and death lately. (My estranged mother, who she never met, died.)

The town librarians have been pulling books, and so far An Ordinary Day has been the most compelling for her.

It's a very simple narrative - in one home, a baby is being born, in another, a beloved pet is dying. The illustrations are lovely.

My daughter has been keenly interested in the facial expressions of the two families, and we talk about joy, grief, how to be kind to people who have big things happening, but how we also can't take on too much. It's very easy for young kids to feel like things are their job.

I like An Ordinary Day because it's very simple, and it doesn't try to explain everything. Instead it's a way to launch conversations.

There's also a Daniel Tiger episode where Daniel's fish dies, and the family models ways to be supportive.
posted by champers at 3:56 AM on December 9, 2023

Best answer: A great newer book about sadness getting easier over time is Grief is an Elephant- it shows how it becomes a smaller and smaller animal, but is always there.
posted by momochan at 8:20 AM on December 9, 2023

I've seen recommendations for Goodbye: A First Conversation About Grief by Megan Madison and Jessica Ralli.
posted by gudrun at 8:21 PM on December 9, 2023