Sudden retirement on a budget. What now?

December 7, 2023 3:43 PM

Both my Dr and my therapist are supporting me in my claim for Disability Pension (Australia). In the interim, I'm receiving Jobseeker without obligation to seek work or volunteer. I was going great guns in my career when a series of unfortunate events disabled me. Now I have time on my hands but significant barriers to activities. How do I plan out my days, months, years for a fulfilling retirement?

(Sorry for the novella, thanks for reading/answering).

So, after a traumatic event, my Dr over-prescribed lithium which put me in hospital for two weeks, with 4 days dialysis (that I don't remember) and 11 days of hallucinations, my psoriasis flared up and I discovered I had aphasia (inability to remember random words). I already had Autism (level 2, but the "intelligent work arounds and masking" puts me at level 1: my clinical psychologist), lifelong anxiety, depression, dyspraxia (clumsiness), one eye legally blind, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, asthma with ground glass nodules on my lungs in last CT scan. Probably other things I can't remember - oh yeah, arthritis (not psoriatic) which was one knee, but is now both knees, hips, shoulders, arms and hands. Oh yeah, and ADHD which I'm medicated for.

Within Australia's welfare system, I am allowed to work 8 hours a week maximum (and if I earn too much, over 6 weeks, my claim is cancelled and I have to go through it all again, so while my boss (twenty-one years working together) has more work for me, I can only do small amounts (research assistant known for excellent PowerPoints, book editing and management, journal formatting, some number crunching).

So I read, you know, us autistics apparently survive better with a schedule, and I've spent the last 3 years (I got atypical pneumonia at start of 2020 but no COVID which took 6 months to recover from) waking up when my body said (no alarms) and working (from home or the office) if my brain felt up to it, but spending many days sleeping.

Nowadays, leaving my 3 floors walk-up for errands (going to Dr, therapist, welfare office) typically has my body aching all over the next day and so tired that for each day I run an errand, a need to sleep or rest for 36 hours.

I know I really need to add daily exercise to my non-existant routine, and I really have to work out a beneficial diet (if I make myself a meal, it's cereal because I'm now scared of using cooking appliances for fear of burns, including the microwave).

I read a lot (mostly fiction) and plan to re-register at my local library, both for borrowing hard copy books and online books (because I can't afford to keep buying books from Amazon at 2am).

I have plans to volunteer - there's a community centre walking distance from home.

I have been a lifelong watercolour artist, but I'm in a slump - I have all the equipment I need in a rolling set of drawers and plenty of good paper, but my art doesn't satisfy me anymore - I'm frustrated with the inability to increase my skill level.

I have a sewing machine, fabric, an unfinished project or 2, but my ADHD brain says "no, no, no" and I don't know why. And because nobody else has put a deadline on it, I don't feel compelled. (That said, deadlines, especially work deadlines, fill me with nauseating anxiety for a variety of reasons).

I like to take photos (often for reference images) but it's hard to walk very far. My flatmate, also on disability pension is quite satisfied with TV, housekeeping [bless him) and playing his guitar but is willing to drive me anywhere, and I live on the Gold Coast in Queensland, so there's a lot of nice places to go but - I got a massive BP headache just wandering through Spotlight (a fabric and craft store) and trembly legs so wherever we go, I can't walk for long.

I've been off work and living off savings since August, and I'm sort of over TV, doom scrolling and reading BUT I have a mental block with my creative hobbies, and I have a physical issue when it comes to volunteering or exercising. Also, it's very hot here from 8am until sunset, which wears me out quicker, but my apartment complex does have a swimming pool and I do have a bathing suit that fits my obese body, and we do have air-conditioning (see why I don't want to leave home?)

Last thing: our very considerate landlords have barely increased our rent over last 6 years, and our current lease doesn't run out until May, but with the increase in interest rates and the cost of living, they might raise the rent beyond our ability to pay. I have enough savings to move elsewhere, but it's hard to get a place anywhere, except in really rural communities where I may not have access to a therapist or the hospital for the regular check ups on my lungs and bowels (had a GI bleed 5 years ago that lead to a colonoscopy and 6 precancerous polyps removed, so I have to go back between every 2 to 5 years). If anyone knows of cheap retirement villages in SEQ that allow for a senior rescued ragdoll cat, that would be good to know. I don't have access to my superannuation (like US 401k?) for 9 years. I'm 56 now.

About friends: I have colleagues and acquaintances and online friends, but I hate to host and have no room for it and I'm an introvert, and my autism results in me saying/doing annoying things, so that's not a resource I can tap into.

What tips/suggestions/resources can you give me that fit the neurodiverse universe that will make my retirement years (starting now) fulfilling and healthy while frugal?

posted by b33j to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (9 answers total)

Best answer: Nowadays, leaving my 3 floors walk-up for errands (going to Dr, therapist, welfare office) typically has my body aching all over the next day and so tired that for each day I run an errand, a need to sleep or rest for 36 hours.

This sounds kind of like "post-exertional malaise"; if it is, it may be something that your doctor can give you specific advice on managing. (Exercising more is not the answer.)
posted by heatherlogan at 4:16 PM on December 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

I can’t quite tell — do you have exercise intolerance of the kind that people with CFS/ME get? Or is your difficulty another kind, maybe the result of deconditioning after what sounds like a seriously traumatic hospital experience?

If exercise is not actively harmful to you, the swimming pool sounds like a great resource, because building strength and endurance may help you in the rest of your life also. The exhaustion you are living with sounds brutal, it is not your fault, and also I think it is worth experimenting to see if you can mitigate it.

How do you feel about having an accountability buddy or group? This could work for anything that you think would bring you joy after you got over the hump of starting. These aren’t for everybody but do help some people, and they can happen online.

I have other thoughts but I think this is where I’d start (where I have started, when I’ve had very little energy or joy in life). I enjoy your contributions here and am sorry you’ve had such a tough go. My best to you.
posted by eirias at 4:17 PM on December 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

To suggest something actually fun, which maybe goes well with the reading: does the idea of trying your hand at writing fanfiction appeal to you?
posted by heatherlogan at 4:20 PM on December 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Suggestions for things to spend your time doing really depend on whether you have an energy limiting condition or whether you’re trying to increase activity within the limits of a different type of illness. Some low to medium energy level suggestions: Since you have access to a car and live somewhere sunny, could you maybe try doing some watercolouring/sketching outside with your roommate there for company? Getting outside is great, someone driving you to sit down while doing it makes it more accessible. A new setting and subject can help overcome frustration about skill level too, and painting from life builds skill faster. Life drawing classes/sessions are also excellent for this. Is maybe windowsill or balcony gardening of any interest to you? Even houseplants can bring a lot of pleasure to your space and be satisfying to care for. If you sew but your ADHD brain wants to move on to something else right now, maybe taking up knitting or crochet could be novel enough that it keeps your brain entertained while still being in same ballpark, and then when you get tired of that you can move back to the sewing projects (I have ADHD and this is how I have to rotate my hobbies). The library is a good idea, and in my area of the world the local library will deliver books to people who struggle to get outside for disability reasons or age, so it could be worth looking into whether there is anything similar where you are. I’m in the UK and here we have an app where you can borrow audio and e-books from your library, I know there’s something similar in the US, so hopefully Australia has an equivalent too.

I can see there’s a lot of anxiety around money and benefits and housing security and everything else in your question, which is completely understandable in this situation. If you can, try to focus on what’s currently happening rather than what might happen in future. You mention access to therapy, so if you have a therapist currently that’s great, hopefully they can help you sort out the anxiety from the actionable problems and come up with a list of what needs to be done in priority order.
posted by chives at 7:20 PM on December 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Also - I’d suggest looking into mobility and accessibility aids, such as dark glasses if bright lights give you headaches, or a rollator if you need to sit down a lot when you’re out due to trembly legs. Getting the aids you need can be life changing, you don’t need to wait until someone says you’re allowed to need them or you absolutely can’t function without, if something would make your life easier and you can find a way to get hold of one, you should go for it. If you can connect to the disability community where you are, that could help a lot with overcoming some of the stigma you may have internalised around disability or needing accommodations.
posted by chives at 7:32 PM on December 7, 2023 [5 favorites]

Best answer: Point of correction - you can access your superannuation at age 60. The rules changed a few years ago and while the AGE pension age is 67, you can take your super at 60. If you want more details, memail me.

Consider buying "The Australian Financial Review" at least once a week, either the Friday or Weekend edition - for me a cup of tea, a sunny afternoon and the AFR is nourishment - but you need to also have some idea what is going on in the world of work so that you can make use of opportunities.

I just spent the afternoon with clients who have an investment property at Southport and the market perception is that prices will continue to go up and rents with them due to the Brisbane Olympics. I think that will be about the only part of Australia where that will be the case for the next few years, and I expect stagnation elsewhere.

I do housework as exercise - strip down to a T-shirt, polish, shine and scrub - and if I am hot and bothered, the nice clean shower is there as my reward.
posted by Barbara Spitzer at 11:39 PM on December 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

Best answer: As to establishing a schedule, maybe you could start by planning to go down to the pool every day. Maybe you just splash around a little. Maybe you sit by (or in!) the pool and read a book. Something to make "go to the pool" part of your daily structured schedule and hopefully start to make it easier for you to get up and down the stairs to your apartment.

Once you've established that routine, (assuming your doctors say it's okay) Ruth Kazez has a website full of great free swimming training plans, including one for people starting from being unconditioned, as it sounds like you are: Zero to 700 yds plan for getting started with a swimming routine. If that goes well, you could then try to do her free Zero to 1 mile training plan.
posted by hydropsyche at 5:06 AM on December 8, 2023

Best answer: You will need an exercise program, with non-weight bearing exercise done in you apartment, in very small increments, and it has to be a program that you will find fun enough to continue. It will need to include cardio and be something that you can do minimal amounts of on bad days, and more on good days. Once your mobility is reduced due to your fatigue and pain levels it is critical to get into a regular routine because you are likely to be moving around so much less than before, that your every day activities will not longer support your cardio-vascular health like they did.

You could try out fitness equipment like a treadmill or stationary bike, but since cost is probably an issue, simply walking steadily up and down in your apartment while listening to a podcast is an inexpensive alternative. You can also walk in a small circle in front of a screen while you are watching videos, or dance on the spot - any movement that raises your heart rate is good. Combat moves might be an alternative that works for you if dance moves don't -either shadow boxing or kata will also raise your heart rate. Marching is another option.

I strongly suggest that every day that you can, you walk up and down those three flights of stairs, preferably at least twice because it is critical for you to retain this ability to a level where you never dread it and you don't have to think about doing it. If your pain or fatigue is such that you can't manage all three flights, it is worth doing just one flight down and back up. It's also worth doing if you have to stop and rest while doing it, and in fact, where fatigue is now a serious issue for you, I encourage you to pace yourself and pause on the landing or even sit on the steps to ensure that adding a daily stair climbing routine doesn't increase your fatigue.

In addition to that, with the arthritis you will really benefit from posture and low level strength training, on a regular basis. Strong muscles support weak joints and ligaments. Taking up strength training now will help retain your flexibility. Keep in mind, of course that very small levels of exercise can cause major pain, so the trick is to learn how much you can do and keep under the level that causes flare ups. Avoid flexibility exercises that increase your flexibility beyond that of a normal child. Hyper flexibility is not good. Muscular strength however, can reduce your pain significantly. The good news about the danger of doing too much exercise being bad for you, is that you are looking at only needing to do very little work for it to make a significant positive difference. You need to do way, way, way less than you would if you were trying to bulk up.

You will benefit strongly from some hobby that requires small amounts of practice every day, and which over time shows progress and improvement. If you end up housebound and depressed and in pain, life becomes much more meaningful if you can see how you are developing and improving. It doesn't matter what you do, so long as five years from now you can say to yourself that you know a little more and are a little better than you were at something. You don't have to be good at it, just visibly better.

You will need to have social contact with the outside world in relationships that make your life better. Again, it is critical to retain some positive human interactions. If you fail to be around people regularly you can easily develop agoraphobia. It's a good idea to have both in person and in house relationships as the in house relationships can help sustain you during times when you can't get out much. In house relationships can be on line or by phone/zoom etc.

Getting outside every day that you can, and substituting an alternative indoor social activity and/or exercise every day when you can't get outside is a good plan. Where your ability to do things is so variable, place holder activities are an important technique for staying on your routines. For example: Everyday you will take a brisk one K walk. If that is not viable you will walk indoors for forty-five minutes while listening to the next podcast in your list of podcasts reserved for exercising. If that is not viable you will do a ten minute session of walking on the spot and stretching. If that is not viable you will do your ten minutes session of chair exercises. If that is not viable, every time you get out of bed to go pee or get a drink you will walk an additional circuit of the apartment. None of these are failures or disappointments, they are all evidence that you are meeting realistic goals that are calibrated to keep you focused on getting as much exercises as your body will allow.

To make routines easier tie them to things that are fun. Your walk could be a time when you check how the construction of the house on the corner is going, put a snail mail letter in the mail, and say hello to the little black dog that is usually out in its yard, or swap books in a little free library, or try to identify wild plants, or listen to this month's new genre of music. You are the only one who can customize these things to suit you, and you know which things will demoralize you if you have to think about them, and which things sound not too bad, and which things sound like you might enjoy them.

You will benefit from having new and novel experiences. You want to keep broadening your scope and your horizons. For this reason a routine of exploring media and genres you don't know anything about will help you retain neurological plasticity. It's as simple as figuring out what you are completely ignorant about, and researching it.

As an example, pick a new and different genre of music to explore every month - jazz, rumba, calypso, Scandinavian black metal, Baroque, Kpop, Chinese opera... and reading about it and listening to at least one piece a day.

Another example would be to pick a different country for every month and immerse yourself in that culture and place by reading about it, looking at images of it, figuring out the history or politics and style and wandering through its cities using Google Streetview. Five minutes a day is not a huge commitment, and it doesn't really need to be more than that, but of course it could be absorbing enough to do more.

It is a good idea to find someone or something to help, and do that. Calling another housebound person twice a week to provide them with companionship could benefit both of you. Anything that makes you feel that you are functional, competent and capable and which helps you connect to other people is good for you. It has to be something you don't dread. Consider providing feedback to an on line acquaintance who does art, or challenging them to join you in both doing art every week and sharing your are on line. Look for on line communities that have interesting projects going on that you can participate in. Likely a Nanowrimo is more than you could consider tackling, but what about checking if any of your friends would like to be in a Duolingo support group with you, and challenge each other to not only to do a daily Duolingo, but also to write something every week to each other in the languages you are learning? It doesn't have to be the same language for everyone. Being able to explaining what the thing they wrote means is part of the learning process.

There are a lot of things you can eat cold that will improve your diet over mainly eating cereal. For one thing, cereal with skim milk is calorie poor, so will likely encourage you to binge unhealthy fat filled stuff like potato chips. If you can develop a taste for things like bean salads and other salads and cold seafood, you will get better nutrition. Frozen food that can defrost in the fridge or under running water and be eaten without heating is a good thing to consider. If you buy precooked frozen shrimp, and open and rinse a can of chick peas and add some cherry tomatoes you'll have covered a couple more food groups.

Also consider cooking things in the oven - for example you can put a roast of beef into a cold oven, and then simply turn the heat off when it is very nearly done and leave it in the oven to finish cooking as the oven cools down. You then get warm roast beef to eat when you feel it is completely safe to remove from the oven, and cold roast beef for future meals. You can wrap things like a chop, a chicken leg or a chunk of salmon in foil and cook them this way too. Many things that you bake can cool down quite successfully in the oven, if you turn it off shortly before they are fully cooked. They finish cooking as they cool. Home baked cookies or cornbread or biscuits or pie are completely an option if they are baked this way. That's how they used to be cooked back in the days of cast iron stoves and brick ovens. If stuff in the microwave oven is too hot to remove, set a timer for two minutes to let it cool down before you reach in.

If your water colours are unsatisfying, branching out may help. Look into something you have never done with water colours and thus will be very bad at, and try working on that. This should enable you to see some progress quickly enough to be satisfying. Failing that pick up some cheap acrylics at your local dollar store and see what you can do with them, and how working with them differs from water colours and which techniques are transferable. If you haven't done that before you will improve quickly.

Look for a community of amateur water colour artists on line and hang out with people who are slightly worse than you. That will help with the frustration you feel about your personal work. People tend to compare themselves with the peer group they aspire to join, and this is often enough of a discouragement that they quit or spend their whole lives feeling like a failure even while steadily improving. Fewer and fewer people learn music every year because they only hear really well trained people playing and they only see the gulf between what they can do and what others can do. The better you get in any field of art the more you see nuance and realise how much farther you have to go and how much more work you need to put in to double your ability compared to when you just started. So take an interest in what people who are not very good are doing in your field. Start by looking for the community, and then look for artwork that inspires you because you want to do that too, and you know you can do it as well as they can. It's still going to be art that is worth producing.

Fifteen minute goals are a good way to start. Assign yourself fifteen minutes a day to figure out some new goals and routines. You can do it in five minute increments. Then when you have figured out what you have the motivation to do, start fifteen minute a day routines in those things, whether art, or planning meals, or exercise. Start by assigning yourself goals that feel too easy and keep doing them before you increase the amount you do. Remember that these routines are not things you have to do but are ways to make your life better and make yourself happier. They should feel good in themselves. If things feel crappy and you dread them, then your goals need to be modified. Anything that makes you feel crappy and that you dread is seriously sub-optimal. An ideal session is one where you are slightly reluctant to stop, and where you will be motivated to do it again the next day that you have the energy and resources to do it again.
posted by Jane the Brown at 8:30 AM on December 8, 2023 [6 favorites]

Response by poster: Thank you all for your considerate and compassionate answers. All were very good - I marked the ones most applicable to me as best answers, but I'm sure the others will benefit others who come across this post later.

I also learned some things I need to bring up with my Dr, and that's awesome.
posted by b33j at 7:30 PM on December 8, 2023 [4 favorites]