Coolest names in history?
October 25, 2023 3:22 AM Subscribe
Spurious Furius! Defensor! Which other historical people have really cool names, however marginal the actual person?
Best answer: You might be interested in this list of early Quaker names that made the rounds on Twitter a few months ago.
posted by Johnny Assay at 4:10 AM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Johnny Assay at 4:10 AM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Wilma Mankiller, a principal chief of the Cherokee Nation (the Cherokee in Oklahoma). Did a whole bunch of social-justice and good-management stuff.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 4:10 AM on October 25, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 4:10 AM on October 25, 2023 [5 favorites]
Kenesaw Mountain Landis
posted by staggernation at 4:32 AM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by staggernation at 4:32 AM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
I always thought Billings Learned Hand was a pretty great name for a lawyer.
posted by jacquilynne at 4:39 AM on October 25, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by jacquilynne at 4:39 AM on October 25, 2023 [2 favorites]
Nora Barnacle
Although I guess that’s just a really pleasing name, I don’t know if it’s cool exactly. Like Oskar Kokoschka or Papa Bouba Diop.
posted by Bloxworth Snout at 5:46 AM on October 25, 2023
Although I guess that’s just a really pleasing name, I don’t know if it’s cool exactly. Like Oskar Kokoschka or Papa Bouba Diop.
posted by Bloxworth Snout at 5:46 AM on October 25, 2023
Not sure if this qualifies, but there was a dentist in the neighborhood whose initials and name were legitimately E. Z. Filler.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 6:21 AM on October 25, 2023
posted by JohnnyGunn at 6:21 AM on October 25, 2023
Best answer: Eleanor of Aquitaine's grandmother's name was Dangereuse.
posted by supermedusa at 6:44 AM on October 25, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by supermedusa at 6:44 AM on October 25, 2023 [3 favorites]
Edith Head's husband was called Wiard Boppo Ihnen. He went by Bill, as one would.
Ever since we found that out, my partner and I occasionally call one another Wiard (pronounced "weird", of course) Boppo.
posted by terretu at 6:48 AM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
Ever since we found that out, my partner and I occasionally call one another Wiard (pronounced "weird", of course) Boppo.
posted by terretu at 6:48 AM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
I had just finished reading this posting about Anglo-Saxon bynames
Brought to you by Thijs Porck!
posted by Hypatia at 7:35 AM on October 25, 2023
Brought to you by Thijs Porck!
posted by Hypatia at 7:35 AM on October 25, 2023
I'm a big fan of the NFL playing brothers, Amon-Ra St. Brown and Equanimeous St. Brown. As well as former NBA player God Shammgod, who was so good at a particular move that it's now referred to as The Shammgod.
posted by true at 7:35 AM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by true at 7:35 AM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
I'm keen on those really wild Puritan names, like Hew-Agag-in-Pieces and Humiliation.
posted by champers at 8:05 AM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by champers at 8:05 AM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
The Providence, RI, city elevator inspector's name was on the certificate posted in every elevator in town for years: Virtus Haywood.
(I pronounced it like "virtuous," because I am sure he was.)
posted by wenestvedt at 8:21 AM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
(I pronounced it like "virtuous," because I am sure he was.)
posted by wenestvedt at 8:21 AM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
Tiny LaVonda.
(I pronounced it like "virtuous," because I am sure he was.)
He had his ups and downs.
posted by Paul Slade at 8:33 AM on October 25, 2023 [6 favorites]
(I pronounced it like "virtuous," because I am sure he was.)
He had his ups and downs.
posted by Paul Slade at 8:33 AM on October 25, 2023 [6 favorites]
I've always been enamored of Ethelred the Unready. It just rolls off the tongue.
posted by DrGail at 8:48 AM on October 25, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by DrGail at 8:48 AM on October 25, 2023 [6 favorites]
There is speculation about the meaning of Ivar the Boneless's epithet, but it might be about impotence. Those vikings had a way with names, including Kolbeinn Smjǫrreðr "Buttercock". Once a 12 y.o. boy, always a 12 y.o. boy.
posted by BobTheScientist at 9:07 AM on October 25, 2023
posted by BobTheScientist at 9:07 AM on October 25, 2023
Billings Learned Hand, jurist, and - as I have just discovered - his cousin Augustus Noble Hand, also a judge.
posted by ALeaflikeStructure at 9:13 AM on October 25, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by ALeaflikeStructure at 9:13 AM on October 25, 2023 [2 favorites]
Maximilien Robespierre
posted by jacobean at 9:53 AM on October 25, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by jacobean at 9:53 AM on October 25, 2023 [2 favorites]
Gotta give a shout-out to Cantwell F. Muckenfuss III.
posted by MetaFilter World Peace at 10:02 AM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by MetaFilter World Peace at 10:02 AM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
Gotta give a shout-out to Cantwell F. Muckenfuss III.
I work with a wide range of lawyers in my job, and I come across some really amazing names.
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 10:57 AM on October 25, 2023
I work with a wide range of lawyers in my job, and I come across some really amazing names.
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 10:57 AM on October 25, 2023
I kinda dig Isambard Kingdom Brunel, the civil engineer who launched a lot of infrastructure projects in the UK in the 1800s. He was notable enough that Kenneth Branagh played him in the opening ceremony of the London 2012 Olympics.
I also have a 10-great-grand-aunt or something like that named "Freelove Bartholomew".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:19 AM on October 25, 2023 [2 favorites]
I also have a 10-great-grand-aunt or something like that named "Freelove Bartholomew".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:19 AM on October 25, 2023 [2 favorites]
Questionable about historical, but Arquemides Euclides Caminero is a professional pitcher in MLB.
posted by jindc at 12:44 PM on October 25, 2023
posted by jindc at 12:44 PM on October 25, 2023
Moxie Crimefighter Jillette!
posted by bensherman at 1:17 PM on October 25, 2023
posted by bensherman at 1:17 PM on October 25, 2023
A couple I've come across recently:
- There's a data scientist named Aristotle Socrates. He's not Greek.
- There's an Indian cricketer Napoleon Einstein (Einstein is his given name, Napoleon is a patronymic). He's on record as saying that in other families people are named after gods, but in his family they don't believe in gods so they are named after great people instead.
posted by madcaptenor at 1:17 PM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
- There's a data scientist named Aristotle Socrates. He's not Greek.
- There's an Indian cricketer Napoleon Einstein (Einstein is his given name, Napoleon is a patronymic). He's on record as saying that in other families people are named after gods, but in his family they don't believe in gods so they are named after great people instead.
posted by madcaptenor at 1:17 PM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
The second provincial premier of British Columbia assumed the name Amor De Cosmos during his time in the U.S., and served as premier under that name – although he was born plain William Alexander Smith.
posted by zadcat at 2:42 PM on October 25, 2023
posted by zadcat at 2:42 PM on October 25, 2023
Dick Butkus (pronounced buht-kis)
Dick Hymen 1 2
Dick Trickle
Dick Spring
Richard Bong (familiarly known as, you guessed it, Dick Bong)
posted by hydrophonic at 3:16 PM on October 25, 2023
Dick Hymen 1 2
Dick Trickle
Dick Spring
Richard Bong (familiarly known as, you guessed it, Dick Bong)
posted by hydrophonic at 3:16 PM on October 25, 2023
Recommend Googling “All-Name Team.” for tons of great sports names. This year’s inductions include:
General Booty
Panda Askew
And Dude Person
posted by chrisulonic at 4:27 PM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
General Booty
Panda Askew
And Dude Person
posted by chrisulonic at 4:27 PM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Hercules Mulligan.
Something about those double dactyls, and Okieriete Onaodowan's powerful portrayal in Hamilton.
posted by hovey at 5:03 PM on October 25, 2023
Something about those double dactyls, and Okieriete Onaodowan's powerful portrayal in Hamilton.
posted by hovey at 5:03 PM on October 25, 2023
Many Norwegian monarchs of old had interesting nicknames, at least:
Harald Fairhair (for refusing to cut his hair until he'd unite the kingdom)
Eric Bloodaxe (for slaying his half-brothers to secure the throne)
Håkon the Good (presumably for not slaying as many people as his predecessor)
Harald Graycloak (for making gray cloaks fashionable!)
Sweyn Forkbeard (again for fashion, this time in facial hair grooming)
Magnus Barefoot (fashion once more, for adopting Gaelic dress with bare lower legs)
Magnus VI Lawmender (more substantial this one; useful law reforms)
posted by Harald74 at 1:06 AM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
Harald Fairhair (for refusing to cut his hair until he'd unite the kingdom)
Eric Bloodaxe (for slaying his half-brothers to secure the throne)
Håkon the Good (presumably for not slaying as many people as his predecessor)
Harald Graycloak (for making gray cloaks fashionable!)
Sweyn Forkbeard (again for fashion, this time in facial hair grooming)
Magnus Barefoot (fashion once more, for adopting Gaelic dress with bare lower legs)
Magnus VI Lawmender (more substantial this one; useful law reforms)
posted by Harald74 at 1:06 AM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks everybody! Some great answers here!
posted by TheophileEscargot at 2:03 AM on October 26, 2023
posted by TheophileEscargot at 2:03 AM on October 26, 2023
Questionable about historical, but Arquemides Euclides Caminero is a professional pitcher in MLB.
If we're allowing for contemporary names - there's also football athlete Barkevious Mingo.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:05 AM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
If we're allowing for contemporary names - there's also football athlete Barkevious Mingo.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:05 AM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
Magnus VI Lawmender
Whoops, first read that as the more Dad-friendly "Magnus VI Lawnmender"
posted by wenestvedt at 8:28 AM on October 26, 2023
Whoops, first read that as the more Dad-friendly "Magnus VI Lawnmender"
posted by wenestvedt at 8:28 AM on October 26, 2023
Not a person, but an apple that should be a person: Esopus Spitzenburg.
posted by brianogilvie at 9:30 AM on October 26, 2023
posted by brianogilvie at 9:30 AM on October 26, 2023
Am I the only one who thinks Spiro Agnew had a fantastic name (despite his many shortcomings)?
posted by widdershins at 10:07 AM on October 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by widdershins at 10:07 AM on October 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
I don't know if Spiro Agnew is a fantastic name, but it has a fantastic anagram.
posted by madcaptenor at 10:32 AM on October 27, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by madcaptenor at 10:32 AM on October 27, 2023 [1 favorite]
I was always a big Vercingetorix fan.
Cosmo Sheldrake the musician and Merlin Sheldrake the mycologist are brothers, apparently.
posted by cmoj at 6:11 PM on October 30, 2023 [1 favorite]
Cosmo Sheldrake the musician and Merlin Sheldrake the mycologist are brothers, apparently.
posted by cmoj at 6:11 PM on October 30, 2023 [1 favorite]
Just come across Epaphroditus Champion. His parents were Deborah and Henry, and his brother Henry, so I don't know where the first name came from. He did inflict it on his son also.
posted by paduasoy at 2:19 PM on July 24 [1 favorite]
posted by paduasoy at 2:19 PM on July 24 [1 favorite]
And this blog article about him and others. The blog was posted to MetaFilter in 2013.
posted by paduasoy at 2:25 PM on July 24 [1 favorite]
posted by paduasoy at 2:25 PM on July 24 [1 favorite]
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posted by gds at 4:05 AM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]