Help me name a cursed sword!
August 4, 2023 5:57 PM   Subscribe

I'm embarking on a D&D game where I'm inverting the "person with a cursed sword" trope by having the character be the cursed sword, with an endless succession of doomed schmoes picking it up. Not too on the nose (Bloodthirster, Skullcracker), but not just goofy (Killbot, Swordy McSwordface).
posted by Shepherd to Writing & Language (31 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
Best answer: Egregore. Greg for short
posted by The Last Sockpuppet at 6:01 PM on August 4, 2023 [6 favorites]


Best answer: I love this idea, how fun!

Personally, I would name this sword Perdition
posted by sevensnowflakes at 6:03 PM on August 4, 2023


Jonah
posted by toodleydoodley at 6:08 PM on August 4, 2023


Geordie, short for Gordon, short for Giordian.
posted by Mizu at 6:15 PM on August 4, 2023


Excarlibur - Carl for short.
posted by Silvery Fish at 6:27 PM on August 4, 2023


Sidesplitter
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 6:30 PM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]


Best answer: Swords have makers and it is presumably the makers of magical weapons that name their masterpieces. Think about who made your cursed sword. Did they deliberately design the curse as part of the weapon or is the curse a flaw in their design?

If the curse is a flaw the name should represent the hopes of the maker. For example, a harried wizard that is a supporter of a rebellion, crafts Tyrant's Downfall intending it to bring an end to the despot that is his enemy. Unfortunately, pressed for time, moving from safe house to safe house, he makes a mistake, the sword contains a hidden curse— Tyrant's Downfall encourages a succession of downtrodden wielders to take up the weapon against their oppressors, then encourages them to pursue a path towards absolute power themselves, only to betray them once they are a tyrant.

Alternatively, if the curse is deliberate, the name might be intended to deceive perspective wielders. For example, the last desperate loyal craftsman of an immortal imprisoned evil warlord, crafts Clarity of Purpose. The sword promises a succession of wielders that it will aid them in their missions, only to secretly try to twist their purposes towards freeing the evil warlord.
posted by RichardP at 6:33 PM on August 4, 2023 [11 favorites]


A two-edged sword named Justice. It is blind. It cuts both ways. It slices slow but exceeding fine.

Is the name engraved on the blade or hilt in some fashion? If so, I'd avoid blunt names like Doomblade since that might be off-putting to the finder. Maybe something cheerful like Fortune's Feast (which eventually costs the bearer every last gold piece).

I really like fantasy weapons in the style of Fred Saberhagen's Twelve Swords. Even "good" swords like Townsaver can kill the wielder if they don't understand that the thing has a mind and purpose of its own.
posted by SPrintF at 6:34 PM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]


Maybe some inspiration can be drawn from the 2021 action roguelike Boyfriend Dungeon (steam link)

> Date your weapons! Romance swords, daggers, and polearms to level them up in this “shack-and-slash” dungeon crawling adventure.

> Estoc (Isaac): the sharpest dresser
> Dagger (Valeria): tired of backstabs
> Talwar (Sunder): worried he’s becoming an antique
> Lasersaber (Seven): hard to get a handle on him
> Glaive (Sawyer): awkward in the wrong hands
> Scythe (Rowan): reaping what they sow
> Brass Knuckles (Pocket): loves cat naps
> Axe (Jonah): surfer sweetie
> Hammer (Leah): fashionable and cute
> Whip (Dr. Holmes): Cannot be wielded
posted by are-coral-made at 6:37 PM on August 4, 2023


Gord the Sword
posted by mhum at 6:44 PM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]


What's the nature of the curse? I feel like that should matter, for flavor reasons.

On balance… Rictus?
posted by SaltySalticid at 6:46 PM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]


The Fickle Blade
The Fiddler's Dance
Soul Gatherer
Redstick
Time's End
Dreamcatcher
posted by TrishaU at 7:17 PM on August 4, 2023


Tim
posted by Thorzdad at 7:22 PM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]


So, in FFXIV, we actually have this exact concept with Zanketsusen, the cursed blade of Eureka which condemns the one who slays the primal Odin to become the next Odin. (Mechanically, what happens is that after Odin (who is a world boss) is killed, the next time he respawns he uses the model of the PC who slayed him as his base.) There's also a similar blade that was in the Bozja storyline called Save the Queen where the wielder would be turned into a primal interpretation of a legendary queen - Gunhildr - of the nation’s history (and not always willingly.)
posted by NoxAeternum at 7:30 PM on August 4, 2023


Rustyblood
posted by mark k at 8:42 PM on August 4, 2023


Pyrrhus, as in Pyrrhic victory.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:52 PM on August 4, 2023


Lullaby...as in, it's the last thing you hear before you go to sleep for a very long time.
posted by ninazer0 at 9:23 PM on August 4, 2023


It depends on the curse but I think something ending with the word cleaver could be good, playing on the double/opposite meanings of cleave.
posted by juv3nal at 10:38 PM on August 4, 2023


If it’s autoantonyms you want, and I’m by no means sure it is, how about Sanguine Cleaver? (Sanguine can mean either rosy/lovey or bloody/murderous, and cleave can mean to separate or to pull together)
posted by aubilenon at 12:27 AM on August 5, 2023


Misfortune
posted by crocomancer at 2:37 AM on August 5, 2023


Hex Calibur
posted by meijusa at 4:55 AM on August 5, 2023 [3 favorites]


Excaliblur... it's all just a blur after so many centuries.
posted by SoberHighland at 6:32 AM on August 5, 2023


Soulsedge. Gets upset because people keep calling it Sausage
posted by Pallas Athena at 6:55 AM on August 5, 2023 [4 favorites]


Tim

I'm leaning more toward Ken myself. Because not only is Ken a manipulative, malevolent, backstabbing warrior in the name of ... whatever bad god Ken serves (seriously, don't let the charm fool you, Ken's a vicious bastard), ken is also an old word for one's "range of perception, understanding, or knowledge" or "range of vision".
posted by philip-random at 9:07 AM on August 5, 2023 [1 favorite]


You could play off of cordyceps, the fungus that mind controls ants. Or https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myrmeconema_neotropicum this parasite that swells up ants’ bodies so big they look like delicious red berries for birds to eat.
posted by Maecenas at 9:50 AM on August 5, 2023


Something ambiguous like “Woebringer,” in which the wielder thinks it’s called that because the sword will bring woe to their enemies, but the scholars know it actually brings woe to the wielder.
posted by ejs at 10:11 AM on August 5, 2023 [1 favorite]


Rosebud
posted by farlukar at 1:44 PM on August 5, 2023 [1 favorite]


Seam-Ripper

Now I'm imagining one of the nihilists from The Big Lebowski with a giant seam-ripper.
posted by tomboko at 4:19 PM on August 5, 2023


Are we talking the standard sword is cursed as in it'll do bad / unforeseen things no matter the qualities of those who wield it ? Or do you mean inverting the trope as in it's a regular sword (maybe even a super magic wünder sword) that's been cursed to always be acquired by useless adventurers who do dumb things with it ?
posted by protorp at 11:28 AM on August 6, 2023


Mrs. Cake
posted by Midnight Skulker at 3:29 PM on August 7, 2023


Response by poster: Some great answers and/or thought-starters here, thanks everybody! This has set me off on a path of other new thoughts that include the various Sefirot of the Kabbalah (Netzach - "Victory"!), words on esoteric fringes, and other things. The sword's past is still being determined but the note on the origins and intentions of its makers is also well taken.

Egregore is the top current contender, but I might swing* ultimately in a different direction. Much appreciated!

*pun unintentional but I'm keeping it
posted by Shepherd at 1:13 PM on August 8, 2023 [1 favorite]


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