Thank you...I hope

July 17, 2023 9:47 AM

Is there a word or phrase that would be understand as "thank you" across all of the major Chinese language communities? (Bonus for link to pronunciation so I can get the tones right.)

Because of where I live, I interact with a fair number of service workers who are recent immigrants from China and sometimes have limited English proficiency, but could be native speakers of any of the dialects. I thought it would be nice if I could thank them in their own language, the way I try to do when I travel abroad. But I don't want to be producing "my hovercraft is full of eels" phrases or gibberish or otherwise unintentionally insult anyone.

(Please assume for the purposes of answers that I am a decent human being who already tries to interact with service workers courteously and tips properly and does not need extra guidance on that front. Also please assume that I am familiar with the demographics of my neighborhood and am not just randomly deciding that anyone who looks Asian must be a recent immigrant or a native speaker of Chinese. Also, I understand that "thank you" is a simple stock phrase easily picked up by non-native speakers of English, I am just trying to be a little extra nice!)

posted by praemunire to Writing & Language (8 answers total)

Best answer: This pronunciation of xiè xiè is exactly how I was taught when I asked a similar question of a friend who is a native Mandarin speaker. I can't speak directly to inter-intelligibility with other dialects but I suspect this is the most widely recognizable. Just make sure you drop the tone, and don't raise it like a question, which my other friend kept doing, as he was wondering if he was getting it right.

https://youtu.be/J-2wNsC6bZg
posted by SaltySalticid at 10:31 AM on July 17, 2023 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Note that the phrase in Cantonese is very different. I can't speak to whether they would recognize and be perfectly fine with the Mandarin phrase or if it would be insulting or eye-rollingly cringe.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 12:28 PM on July 17, 2023

Best answer: My parents are from an older generation and fluent in Toisanese and Cantonese, now in their eighties. Mom was more educated and may have recognized xie xie as an attempt at Mandarin. My dad? No way.

The other thing about both my parents is that when ever people in the US tried to speak any kind of Chinese to them, they never really figured it out. Most Westerners have a pronunciation that is so far from what they would recognize as Chinese that they never really figured it out unless some told them they were trying to speak Chinese. And without context, they usually assumed it was some English phrase they didn't know and would play along the best they could.

Now a days, I don't run into many Chinese immigrants to the US that don't have at least a passing understanding of Mandarin. But the context and pronunciation concerns still hold true.
posted by advicepig at 1:03 PM on July 17, 2023 [7 favorites]

Also two finger double tap on the table is a way to silently thank a server for pouring your tea/drink.
posted by CleverClover at 8:40 PM on July 17, 2023

Best answer: If you know for sure that these are immigrants from China and not any other country, of working age, sure, stick to practicing your Mandarin xie xie. That's the main language for official use as well as medium of instruction, and fwiw if you make a fair go at it, your accent probably can't be too whacky as compared to the range of accents already in China as mandarin is a second language to many. Maybe figure out if you have certain tones or sounds you're good/less good in - likely there's a region with that accent choice for their mandarin.
posted by cendawanita at 2:25 AM on July 18, 2023 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Just say "xiexie" (Mandarin) would be sufficient.

Cantonese is more like "duo-jie" or "mmm-goy" and people will be fine if you say it in Mandarin. Unless you run into some really old Chinese, they speak both.
posted by kschang at 8:38 AM on July 18, 2023 [1 favorite]

Also consider nonverbal courtesies -- eye contact, a slight bow, softer tone of voice, pausing the conversation when interacting, things like that.

At the risk of sounding like a curmudgeon, I would venture to say that this should precede attempts at phrases in (possibly) their language. Speaking as a visible minority, when people say snippets of what they think is my language to me, it can sometimes feels like an extra burden. It imposes an obligation to acknowledge and praise the effort, bless their heart.
posted by dum spiro spero at 2:13 PM on July 18, 2023 [3 favorites]

Sorry I hadn't seen the second part of the question. You're already doing all the courtesies.

For sincere gratitude for personal service, might I suggest xīnkǔle. Here's an ok video about it.

But first, do some throat-clearing with a "aiya" or "aiyo." This is a sound of surprise. It signals you're about to try to say something in Chinese.

For example, let's say somebody took 4 flights of stairs to bring you food. You might say "aiya, xiexie, xinkule." Say it in the tone of "oh no! I've caused you so much trouble but you've really helped me out!"
posted by dum spiro spero at 2:44 PM on July 18, 2023