reference etiquette

May 14, 2023 1:53 PM

I left a PhD in academia and am now interviewing for new jobs in industry that require references. Is it ok to ask my old advisor for a reference? How do I put this reference into context for a new employer in industry?

I excelled in my PhD for 5 years but chose to leave because I was more interested in industry. Academia was not a good fit for me for many reasons (e.g. low pay, no choice of location). I was also in a strange situation where my advisor said I had to work on a specific project to finish, a project I had no interest in, and that my committee didn't think was necessary. Finishing my degree would have taken 1 year at the absolute soonest, 1.5-2 years possibly. During the pandemic, I did some life introspection, and decided that it wasn't worth it to spend that much more time for the piece of paper if I never wanted to be in academia.

I went on leave ~1.5 years ago, and officially left the program 1 year ago. I told my advisor I needed to leave for non-negotiable personal reasons (I kept it short and sweet and didn't blame anyone - mostly "it's not you, it's me" and "academia is not a good fit but we still did great work as a team.") I have a lot of anger toward him for trying to force me to do a project I was not interested in in order to finish but I didn't tell him this.

I worked 2 contract jobs in the interim, and am now interviewing for full-time jobs in industry that require references. TBH, my advisor seemed upset that I left academia, but I think the main thing that he's upset about is that I left before getting my degree, affecting how other students/faculty see him (my performance while I was in the PhD was good - in fact, after I left, my advisor reached out to me and apologized for his poor behavior toward me during the PhD).

I'm pretty sure that the employers I'm interviewing with are going to ask me to ask my old advisor for a reference because the PhD is by far the longest stint of work on my resume. But I have a huge amount of anxiety around asking him, and a huge amount of anxiety around explaining all this to future employers, since it's not clear if I left on good terms (my old advisor might still hold a grudge against me for leaving, and he seemed upset that I didn't ask for his opinion before leaving). Can I still ask him for a reference? As a potential employer, how do you view someone who left a PhD for industry? How do I explain all this in a way that makes sense? (FWIW - I am trying to enter the tech industry and left a PhD in computer science. My potential future employers don't have PhDs.)

posted by icosahedron to Human Relations (6 answers total)

Do you trust your advisor? It's absolutely his job to provide references for you, even for non-academic jobs. He can of course be a jerk and say "no" but you have a legit right to ask him and should, unless you don't trust him to write you a good letter.

Alternatively, ask whichever committee member(s) you were closest to and who supported you. For employers, you can set the narrative "Like many people, the pandemic made me reassess my priorities and I decided academia was not for me, despite the fact that I had been successful so far. Unfortunately this dampened my relationship with my advisor, but thankfully my committee members are still supportive."

You can also ask your references to explain why they are your references and not your advisor - they should be backing you up.
posted by coffeecat at 2:03 PM on May 14, 2023 [2 favorites]

Did you get a Masters from your program? I am lucky enough that I had some non-academic consulting work to pay the bills while I was in grad school, so at this point (about 10 years after quitting with a masters-in-passing), my resume has that consulting work, and a masters' degree graduation date, with no indication of how long I was working on that masters'. It's all accurate info, it just tells a different/more positive story that way.

At one point, my advisor's lukewarm feedback did sour an interview process. From what I understand, someone on the team I was interviewing with knew her and recognized her name on a publication on my resume, and reached out. The interviewer related this to me in terms that made it clear she didn't say bad things, but she also didn't say good things. I have since removed all those publications from my resume, and have not had any problem since.
posted by Alterscape at 2:23 PM on May 14, 2023

I'd also recommend asking another committee member or maybe professors you worked for in some other capacity if that's possible. I asked a professor I TAed for a few times for a reference since he could give direct information about how I was as a "worker", and I got the job.
posted by thebots at 3:36 PM on May 14, 2023 [1 favorite]

Whoever you go with…when I give references I always ask the candidate to send me a job description and to let me know which skills/qualities they would like me to speak to. With my own references, I *send* them that information along with a reminder of a project or problem we solved in A+ style together. This recently paid off for me.
posted by warriorqueen at 3:55 PM on May 14, 2023 [4 favorites]

Unless it's an academically oriented company people are unlikely to care who your university references are. It sounds like you have good relations with other faculty members -- use them instead.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 4:49 PM on May 14, 2023 [1 favorite]

Unless it's an academically oriented company people are unlikely to care who your university references are. It sounds like you have good relations with other faculty members -- use them instead.

Or use references entirely from your recent contract jobs; those are likely to be seen as more credible references unless this is a field that is very much academic-adjacent with the same expectations.

Regardless, I'd be very cautious about using your advisor since it sounds likely that you'd get a lukewarm reference.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:45 PM on May 14, 2023 [2 favorites]