Is there a reason for me *not* to take a mental health leave at work?
April 25, 2023 3:49 PM   Subscribe

My main stressor is work and it's impacting my ability to take care of myself. Location: CA, USA

I'm inefficient at work right now and so I'm working longer hours to get the work done, which means more misery and less rest, and it's a feedback loop. I've stopped going to the gym. I'm afraid to begin my SSRIs again (forgot to take them, now need to restart) because there's an onboarding period where I get super sleepy, and that affects my work productivity. I need to find a new therapist but haven't had the energy to do so. Several times during work hours I get anxiety spikes and and an overwhelming sense of dread. I didn't need to take anxiety meds before, but now find myself needing it to get through the work day.

Downside is I'm on a Big Project with Tight Deadlines. This project spans over a year, which is a long time for my company. I know I am just a little cog. I don't really care about the project. I'm worried when I get back from a mental health leave, there will be no place for me on the project and my coworkers will think less of me and it'll be harder to do my job if they think that way. They are not nice folks, and part of the reason I'm in a place where I'm thinking about taking a leave. In that case, I may need to switch companies and I'm worried that they'll know I was too weak or incompetent to handle the job.

My worry with taking a leave is that it'll land me in a worse place than where I started. That is, work will be worse, and therefore my mental health. It'd only give me room to catch my breath. The alternative to not taking a leave is to slug through this work for another year and then change companies. Or quitting.
posted by typify to Work & Money (19 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
It sounds like you're spiraling a bit. Take the leave, and then you might be able to manage the rest of all this with a bit more clarity. This is why we have leave. There's no valor in not using it.
posted by bluedaisy at 3:57 PM on April 25, 2023 [4 favorites]


I took fmla for a mental health reason.

Aside from the fmla paper HR saw, no one knew exactly why I disappeared for a month then came back part time for another 6 weeks before returning to full time work. I just did. If I discussed my leave I just said personal health reason and left it at that.

Ultimately these things happen in the work place from time to time. No one really thinks that much of it. When you come back, be mentally prepared to insert yourself into your work like you never left and people will focus on the things they need to get done and what you can do now.

Taking leave is 100% worth it.
posted by AlexiaSky at 4:09 PM on April 25, 2023 [5 favorites]


I took FML last year for anxiety and I would do it all over again if I had to. It allowed me to have the time I needed to adjust my medication, ride out the side effects, rest, and feel more like myself again. I returned much more able to handle life and work, and it changed my life for the better. You don’t have to muscle through this.
posted by sugarbomb at 4:42 PM on April 25, 2023 [1 favorite]


Fun fact I found out when looking at going on mental health leave at my job: it's only allowed for 3 months and they cut my pay by a third during that time. I also would have to have a mental health professional sign off on it, which it sounds like you don't have one to do that with right now. I don't know if your job has similar requirements/issues, but I would check that out and see if there's any surprises on taking leave at your work before you make the decision.
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:45 PM on April 25, 2023 [3 favorites]


I'm not telling you what to do, but I feel very strongly about this from personal experience. I knew that I was starting to suffer mental health wise at work and it was the beginning of our busy season. I tried to tough it out which only made things worse for me and the team. Things really spiraled as my inability to get things done snowballed. I was asked by my client to be removed from our contract, essentially losing my job. It's been a few years and I still haven't been able to course correct things career wise. Just take care of yourself and don't try and tough things out, especially seeing as you really don't care about the project or feel good about your coworkers. You could end up in a worse place if you do try and hang in there and things get more challenging.
posted by Che boludo! at 4:55 PM on April 25, 2023 [1 favorite]


Fun fact I found out when looking at going on mental health leave at my job: it's only allowed for 3 months and they cut my pay by a third during that time. I also would have to have a mental health professional sign off on it

You’ve just described textbook FMLA leave (actually it’s even better than that because FMLA leave is only legally required to be unpaid) and framing it like this is kind of weird.
posted by rhymedirective at 4:58 PM on April 25, 2023 [11 favorites]


I took 1 month FMLA leave (signed off by my psychiatrist) and it worked out very well for me. I think one thing that made it work out well is that I had a different mindset during the time away and the month was enough time for my mind to get used to that, such that it could carry forth into the time when I returned. Had I during the leave continued to struggle with the crippling anxiety or many other mental stances I held, I'm not sure I'd be looking back on it as "totally worth it". But the space that it gave me allowed me to think and live in different ways, and that gave me what I needed to make changes and approach work differently when I returned. To say nothing of how the time off allowed me to recover some of the physical stamina that had been drained by years of relentless struggle.

IIRC, my pay wasn't docked when I was out, I think that was due to a benefit provided by my employer. Perhaps yours offers the same.
posted by armoir from antproof case at 6:24 PM on April 25, 2023 [1 favorite]


I took FMLA twice, once when I had surgery and needed 6 weeks to recover, and once for grief after a parent died. That time it was a month. My PCP signed - I didn't need a psychiatrist. I used sick time and because I was a long-term employee I had many weeks of accumulated sick time. Colleagues who took FMLA for various other reasons used sick time first, then vacation time, and then if that ran out took unpaid leave. I am not an HR professional, but I think that different employers have different policies about this, and I would check an employee handbook or make discreet inquires of HR before making plans.

Please note that your supervisor does not need to know about this at all, does not need a heads-up, and does not need to know what medical/family issue is prompting you to take FMLA. Nor is your supervisor allowed to ask. You do not need to check in with your supervisor or team leader during your leave, and your supervisor is not permitted to contact you. This is entirely between you, your doctor, and HR. I wish you well and hope you get the rest, relief, and resetting you need.
posted by citygirl at 7:43 PM on April 25, 2023 [2 favorites]


I would carefully research this before doing it because as mentioned, companies vary. My experience, in CA, may not apply to you in terms of the process and the pay

I took two weeks of mental health leave at my last org and immediately felt a lot worse upon return. I was the entire project team, and so nothing changed between when I logged off and when I logged back on, but it felt like there was more criticism because I was supposed to be all "rested" up and whatnot -- only my manager "knew" the reason, but everyone knew I was away for some reason, and many assumed it was just vacation.

I'm sure that someone I needed more than two weeks, but honestly, I needed a new job and the amount of dread I felt during my leave and then after returning was proof of that. I left within six months. Having a bit of time to catch my breath gave me clarity on what I really wanted, which was primarily "the fuck outta there" but also, just a sense of what direction I really wanted to go into next that wasn't informed by what I was experiencing on a day-to-day.

No one at my current org knows I took that leave, and I feel that my current manager would not judge me for it as a past or a future action. I probably would not have taken this role otherwise, to be honest.
posted by sm1tten at 7:59 PM on April 25, 2023 [1 favorite]


I don't mean this to sound snarky, and I hope it is not taken as such, but: the answer to the question "Should I take mental health day/time at work" is always, always yes.

Work sucks. Work is busy. Work is complex. But you know what else work is? A very, very distant second on the list behind your own health, mental or otherwise. Take the time.

Downside is I'm on a Big Project with Tight Deadlines. This project spans over a year

Those two things are not even remotely in the same neighborhood, unless the deadline for the end of the Big Project is next week. Year-long projects are year-long for a reason; they're not 12 hour a day, 6 day a week efforts for 52 straight weeks, there are ebbs and flows. You're not solely responsible for the project; let the team do what they do while you recuperate, then contribute when you're back and in a better frame of mind.

Take care of yourself; take the time now and come back somewhat refreshed and ready to finish the project.

But most of all, take care of yourself. You're more important than your job.
posted by pdb at 8:00 PM on April 25, 2023 [6 favorites]


The only reason not to would be because you feel confident that your health will recover in the short term if you do not. That seems unlikely.
posted by lookoutbelow at 8:30 PM on April 25, 2023


I would look at it this way: at the rate you're going you *are* going to be taking time off for mental health reasons whether you want to or not. Better to do it as a planned event.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:30 PM on April 25, 2023 [11 favorites]


You’ve just described textbook FMLA leave (actually it’s even better than that because FMLA leave is only legally required to be unpaid) and framing it like this is kind of weird.

I apologize for getting it wrong. The one time I officially took FMLA leave was for a death in the family and I didn't know the pay cut by a third thing was something that happened with mental health leave (only, apparently?!) since I wasn't pay cut for being out for a death. I had just assumed I could use my sick time for mental health leave, but...I guess not.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:50 PM on April 25, 2023 [1 favorite]


There’s probably no good reason not to take the leave if you can afford it. But, be aware that this whole thing only really improves when you get a different job that doesn’t generate such stress & difficulty.

Maybe the biggest benefit of a period of leave can be to remind you that your stressful workplace situation isn’t normal or inevitable, that other environments are available, and that you deserve better.
posted by rd45 at 12:48 AM on April 26, 2023


I apologize for getting it wrong. The one time I officially took FMLA leave was for a death in the family and I didn't know the pay cut by a third thing was something that happened with mental health leave (only, apparently?!) since I wasn't pay cut for being out for a death. I had just assumed I could use my sick time for mental health leave, but...I guess not.

This is a good example of how understanding the specific policies at your work and within your state really matters. (A number of states now have "Paid FMLA" programs, for example.) Larger employers and public agencies tend to have really well documented leave policies, so usually you can find most of what you need in the handbook, but sometimes that guidance is very poor and you would have to do more research and discussion with HR.

Where I work, I've had a number of colleagues take FMLA, some for obvious reasons like a new baby, but others for vague reasons that I am sure included mental health needs. Anecdotally, I've never seen anything other than people being supportive and understanding when someone needs time away. I'm currently picking up some slack for a colleague who is working reduced hours for both health and family issues and that's not a problem, because I know they would do the same for me if I needed that support.

My worry with taking a leave is that it'll land me in a worse place than where I started. That is, work will be worse, and therefore my mental health. It'd only give me room to catch my breath. The alternative to not taking a leave is to slug through this work for another year and then change companies. Or quitting.

These aren't exclusive options -- you can (and should!) take the FMLA, and then after you can decide to either start looking for a new job while slogging it out at the current job, or quit, or whatever. The point of taking the FMLA is to get some breathing space without the daily pressures so that you can assess your needs and recuperate.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:40 AM on April 26, 2023 [1 favorite]


You would still need healthcare professional to send documentation, but you might also consider intermittent FMLA. That way you could take a few days a month as needed or even a week or whatever and get some relief while not completely losing the plot as far as the project at work goes. But either way - take some leave.
posted by Saucy Possum at 9:01 AM on April 26, 2023


I apologize for getting it wrong. The one time I officially took FMLA leave was for a death in the family and I didn't know the pay cut by a third thing was something that happened with mental health leave (only, apparently?!) since I wasn't pay cut for being out for a death. I had just assumed I could use my sick time for mental health leave, but...I guess not.

I think that must be a policy specific to your company or to your state, because I've been on FMLA leave for mental health within the last year, and I was allowed to use accrued sick leave and annual leave to fully cover it, so my paychecks remained exactly the same.
posted by decathecting at 4:53 PM on April 29, 2023


I last looked at this a few years ago so I don't remember details, but the pay cut by a third thing was definitely in there JUST for mental health leave and it totally shocked me. I've had supervisors go on mental health leave, but they of course had husbands and maybe it wasn't an issue for them moneywise.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:24 PM on April 29, 2023


Response by poster: Update: It ended up not being a question of if I should take the leave. I need to take a leave. Maybe I should've started it when I started spiraling (like when I made this post) or maybe it's better that I'm taking it with my work affairs in order and not too many bridges burned. I'm still not sure about the calculus and I don't think I can think it through thoroughly, but in any case I removed myself from this project in addition to taking the leave. It was the only way I could convince myself to take it even with the advice given. There are negative consequences but I can't bring myself to care right now and I think I can weather it
posted by typify at 8:42 PM on June 12, 2023


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